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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:06,549 and it's easy. 2 00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:07,717 you've heard the djs. 3 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,486 all they do is talk. 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,455 they talk, you Can talk, can't you? 5 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,623 of course you can, Talking is simple. 6 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:17,182 so send today for information on our Earn as you learn disc jockey course. 7 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:21,098 study in the privacy Of your own home. 8 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,599 start a great new career 9 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,863 and soon you'll get the Respect you never had before. 10 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,270 you're in the white pages 11 00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:29,172 the mike wallace School of broadcasting 12 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,316 not affiliated with The guy on "60 minutes." 13 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:38,148 This is venus, my Children, "Here we sit 14 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,917 "And let the sounds of Music creep in our ears. 15 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,886 "Soft stillness and the night 16 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,344 Become the touches Of sweet harmony." 17 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,961 So if you learn That at home, chump. 18 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,797 "Touches of sweet Harmony" I like that. 19 00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:55,861 How's it goin' venus? 20 00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,568 Don't you ever go home, travis? 21 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,203 Hey it's slowing at The top you know. 22 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,272 Slowing in the middle too. 23 00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,374 Here... Your tapes For the 10:30 spot. 24 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,398 Righto. 25 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:13,150 You probably wondered About my outfit, huh? 26 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:16,119 - not exactly. - it isn't much thick. 27 00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:17,820 See, I don't wear this Kind of stuff to look good. 28 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:18,888 I-I... Actually... 29 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,124 I-I-I run home from Work three times a day. 30 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,426 - well... - to keep check. 31 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,010 - great. - to look good. 32 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,164 Well the color's Certainly right for you. 33 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,188 Yeah, I know. 34 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:34,626 I ran out from here, and Stopped by cops seven times. 35 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:43,570 Hi! 36 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,485 - how's it goin'? - fine. 37 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,909 Good. 38 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,491 I just kinda knocking around. 39 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:57,461 Waiting to meet carmen down At our natural childbirth class. 40 00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,005 - oh! Yeah! - yeah. 41 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:02,499 I heard you reading Poetry on the air. 42 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,868 - yes sir, I was. - huh! Who was it? 43 00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,692 - shakespeare. - huh! He's good. 44 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:10,562 - he is the best. - well, yeah. 45 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,776 Wait a minute! 46 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,240 If you heard that then you've Been listening to the station! 47 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,802 Well, yeah. 48 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,283 Oh, that's great! I mean that's real 49 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,884 Good! Congratulations. 50 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:24,587 Well, I-I-I can't do it, you Know, for a long period of time. 51 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:25,855 But I-I-I'm gettin' better. 52 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:29,158 In fact I... I Listened to johnny 53 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:30,860 The other morning For a couple minutes. 54 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,162 See I know you could do it. 55 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,563 Pretty soon, you'll Be ready for les. 56 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,399 Oh, gosh. I-I don't know if I Can sit for a thing like that. 57 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,189 You know I just Get it like uh... 58 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,504 That... That's Phone light, is it? 59 00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:43,408 Yeah, wait, wait, I-I will get it. 60 00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,298 Wkrp. Who's speaking? 61 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,335 What? She did. 62 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:56,219 Oh! Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, sure. 63 00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,655 Aha, yeah, I'll be r-right away. 64 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,112 T-t-t-thanks for Calling. B-b-bye. 65 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,661 Venus, uh... 66 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,130 Uh, could you go with me Down to hospital, please? 67 00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,498 - is it time? - well, yeah. 68 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,899 It-it is, it... 69 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,669 Uh, carmen actually went to The natural childbirth class 70 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,974 Little early 'cause she was Ha-having these pains, uh, 71 00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:16,272 And she went into labor, 72 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,274 She paid a drive Herself to the hospital 73 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:22,778 And apparently mrs. Odette, the natural Childbirth instructor got hysterical. 74 00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,647 Well, shouldn't you be going? 75 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,216 - yeah, you-you take me. - I-I can't mr. Carlson. 76 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,419 - no, no, you-you take me. - I can't. I'll call you a cab. 77 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,154 Uh, no. Please you take me. 78 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,689 Mr. Carlson, I hate Hospitals. It's the, the smell... 79 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,193 And besides I got another 30 minutes to do here. 80 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,227 I'll see if travis Is still here. 81 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:38,228 I'll call him on the intercom. 82 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:40,085 - no, you-you take me. - travis! 83 00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:42,666 You, uh... You-you take me. 84 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,167 I don't want anybody else Come with me to the hospital. 85 00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,735 - you-you take me. - oh lord! Mr. Carlson, 86 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,799 I don't know anything About birth and no babies. 87 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,673 - what? - thank god you're still here. 88 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,907 Hey... 89 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,442 Mrs. Carlson is about To have her baby. 90 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,177 He won't let anybody take Him to the hospital but me. 91 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,413 Yeah. Uh, andy, would you Go with me to the hospital. 92 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,581 I mean, you-you take me, okay? 93 00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,382 Well, sure thing, dad! 94 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,072 - come on! - yes. 95 00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,325 Oh hell. 96 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:12,116 ♪ baby, if you've Ever wondered ♪ 97 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,288 ♪ wondered whatever Became of me ♪ 98 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,659 ♪ I'm livin' on the Air in cincinnati ♪ 99 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,829 ♪ cincinnati, wkrp ♪ 100 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:29,501 ♪ got kind of tired of Packin' and unpackin' ♪ 101 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,505 ♪ town to town, up And down the dial ♪ 102 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:39,121 ♪ maybe you and me Were never meant to be ♪ 103 00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:42,892 ♪ just maybe think Of me once in a while ♪ 104 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:49,320 ♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati ♪♪ 105 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,641 Woman on pa: dr. Peters, Call your poolman. 106 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:00,632 dr. Peters, call your poolman. 107 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,922 - hi. - hi. 108 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,692 This is arthur carlson and his Wife is here somewhere havin' a baby. 109 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:16,836 Probably recent check-in. 110 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,563 I've got mrs. Artemis carlson. 111 00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,587 - arthur, it's arthur carlson. - artemis. 112 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:28,226 She'd be in room 488 of The johnny bench wing. 113 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,841 He helped to raise the money. 114 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,843 Oh! Where do we go? 115 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,245 Follow the blue line on the floor Until it crosses the green one, 116 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,781 Take the green line until you Come to the yellow then turn left. 117 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:43,753 - what do we do then? - ask someone... For artemis. 118 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,389 Woman on pa: dr. Burns, Call your contractor. 119 00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,513 dr. Burns, call your contractor. 120 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:55,799 I'm gonna leave you right here. 121 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,300 I'll be back in just A minute, honey. 122 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:58,324 Alright. 123 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:05,175 - carmen! - oh, hello, arthur. 124 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,076 I went up to your Room, you weren't there. 125 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,611 - you alright? - I'm fine. 126 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:09,745 - hi, andy. - hi mrs. Carlson. 127 00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:11,247 Good, then why are You in a wheelchair? 128 00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,082 - I don't know! - she's on the wheelchair. 129 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,618 - yeah, I see that. - what happened? 130 00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,787 This afternoon, I Started having pains 131 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,722 And by the time I Got to my class 132 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,123 I knew it was time. 133 00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:23,325 Yeah, I understand mrs. Odette got hysterical. 134 00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:24,860 She threw up. 135 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:28,198 Okay... I can bring You in here now. 136 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,799 Uh, wait, w-w-wait. Where are you taking her? 137 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,534 - in here. - oh. 138 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,835 This is my husband. 139 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:36,428 Oh, well, probably wanna Come in here with us now. 140 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:38,430 Well, o-okay. 141 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,666 Oh, gosh, oh. 142 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,718 I go call everybody and Tell 'em the good news. 143 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,487 - aha, okay. - you go on in. 144 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,071 - yeah. - go on. 145 00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,439 - go on. - yeah. 146 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,564 Because I want you to Come down here, that's why. 147 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,468 Krp is about to Have another heir... 148 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,403 Any minute. 149 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,327 - hi. - oh, bye. 150 00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:11,730 Hi. 151 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,576 Are you sick? 152 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,347 Oh, no, I'm not. Just visiting... 153 00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:19,215 Oh, I didn't think You were sick. 154 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,039 You look really healthy to me. 155 00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,153 Thank you very Much well, so do you. 156 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:27,323 - are you a nurse? - oh, no, I'm just a volunteer. 157 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:30,259 I wanted to be a Nurse, but not anymore. 158 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,328 They don't pay nurses anything. 159 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:35,531 And most of the doctors are real Rude to the nurses around here 160 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,633 Because they have A christ complex... 161 00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,468 The doctors, I mean. 162 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,137 So that's why I've decided To go out to hollywood 163 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:43,328 And do a playboy spread. 164 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,799 Because I really like Making every people happy. 165 00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:54,183 Well, it's not something... It-it's very nice. 166 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,247 Would you like to go Somewhere and talk? 167 00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:59,511 - sure. - come on. 168 00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,126 Hello! 169 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,174 We're here to see Mrs. Arthur carlson. 170 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,743 I don't care why you're here, 171 00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,527 I just think, god, I'm on duty. 172 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,381 Where is mrs. Carlson? 173 00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,817 Follow the blue line until It crosses the green one, 174 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:31,387 Take the green line until you Come to the yellow then turn left. 175 00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:32,522 Don't be silly. 176 00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,186 You're right. Follow me. 177 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:54,432 Yo. 178 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:09,158 Woman on pa: dr. Carter, Call your travel agent. 179 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,760 - arthur, I'm fine. - good. 180 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,796 - are you fine? - ya, yes, yes. 181 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,097 Good. 182 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,132 - are you sure? - oh, yeah, I'm sure. 183 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:18,133 Are you-you sure? 184 00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:19,877 - I'm sure. - that's good. 185 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,470 Oh my... 186 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:25,074 Oh, arthur, that's Just my blood pressure. 187 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,132 - a former marine? - that's right. 188 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,501 Oh! Oh! Mmm! 189 00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,349 - breathe, breathe. - uh... 190 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,573 It's a good one. It Won't be too long now. 191 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,122 Excuse me, but, But shouldn't you 192 00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,357 Give her something for the pain? 193 00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:44,226 - arthur, I'm fine. - what have you got? 194 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,361 Demerol, morphine, spinal block? 195 00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:48,163 I will not have My wife in pain... 196 00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,331 It's... No pain! 197 00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:50,432 - arthur. - yes. 198 00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:51,936 - sit down. - yes. 199 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,406 Just, just here to Comfort you sweetheart. 200 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,497 - thank you, arthur? - gum? 201 00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:14,179 - uh, hi. - what can I do for you? 202 00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:17,648 I was called here. 203 00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:19,685 Why? 204 00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:21,831 Artemis carlson? 205 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,500 No, john caravella, "The fever." 206 00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,268 Follow the blue line until It crosses the green one, 207 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,804 Take the green line until you Come to the yellow then turn left. 208 00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:30,127 Right. 209 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,730 Where are these lines? 210 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,699 On the floor. 211 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,768 Right. 212 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,179 Uhh! 213 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:13,282 Uhh, uhh! Ugh, ugh! 214 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,652 Umunh, umunh, umunh! 215 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,743 Oof, oof. 216 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,199 Artemis. 217 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,800 Follow the blue line Until it crosses the green, 218 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:33,602 Take the green to the Yellow then turn left. 219 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,438 Blue, green, yellow, left. 220 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:36,439 - right. - right? 221 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:37,440 - left. - thanks. 222 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,808 - hold it. - what? 223 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:41,072 I want to take a picture Of you and the receptionist. 224 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,512 What? 225 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,249 I want to take a picture Of you and the receptionist. 226 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,273 I'm doing an album. 227 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:50,185 Weirdo. 228 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,187 Come on out here buddy. 229 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,646 - okay. - stand up close and smile. 230 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:57,727 Where'd you get A jacket like that? 231 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,431 I mean, do they Sell 'em somewhere? 232 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,097 Of course, they Sell 'em somewhere. 233 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:03,432 Where? 234 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,469 Yeah, I tell you, 235 00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:07,770 You tell somebody Else and pretty soon 236 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,460 The whole world Is dressing like me. 237 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,209 Oh, arthur, 238 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:17,513 Are you sure you wouldn't be More comfortable in another city? 239 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,577 Ah, no, sweetheart, I'm fine right here. 240 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:21,817 Hello folks, what's happening? 241 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,219 How're you doin', arthur? 242 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,687 - I'm fine doc. - hi bill. 243 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,456 Are you sure you wanna Go through with this? 244 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,291 You can always Back out, you know. 245 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:29,459 What? 246 00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:31,294 Come on, arthur, it's One of my best jokes. 247 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,362 Arthur is a little uptight. 248 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:34,830 - ooh, oh... - um... 249 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,632 You kids wanted To do it natural, 250 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,734 Personally I Prefer it, you see, I... 251 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,369 I like a big audience. 252 00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,671 My wife is in a Lot of pain, bill. 253 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,507 Woman in labor is Having a lot of pain! 254 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:46,564 Hmm! 255 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,610 It's not so funny! 256 00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,345 Come on, arthur! 257 00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,748 A very wonderful thing is gonna Happen here and you're gonna see it. 258 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:53,883 Right, yeah. 259 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,552 And at least I hope You're gonna see it. 260 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,388 Arthur is gonna be Right there with me. 261 00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,923 - we decided. - yeah. 262 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:01,924 Alright, come on, arthur, 263 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,292 Let's go put on silly outfits. 264 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,316 Bye, bye, carmen. 265 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:08,554 I'll see you later. 266 00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:19,775 Woman on pa: dr. Morton, Call your pilot. 267 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,099 dr. Morton, call your pilot. 268 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:49,393 Are you the doctor? 269 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:54,142 Well, uh... Sort of. 270 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,267 - not a real one, you know. - oh, good, come in. 271 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,183 Now that's a cute little one. 272 00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,584 Even cover your shoes, huh? 273 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:02,685 Oh, yeah, sure do. 274 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,153 You know this is My fourth delivery 275 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,144 Since 5 o'clock this morning. When it rains, it pours. 276 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,693 W-w-what is that all Over your shoe cover? 277 00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:12,717 It's coffee stains. 278 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,153 No it's not. 279 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,168 No it's not, arthur. 280 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,437 Now look, this is a Very human thing here. 281 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,827 There is no stork, You know, that's blood. 282 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:26,751 - blood? - hmm. 283 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:31,402 Don't you think peggy Sue is a ridiculous name? 284 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,749 It worked for buddy holly. 285 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,118 I mean somebody my age. 286 00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,253 Well, I could tell You stories, peggy sue. 287 00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:41,590 I-I've been called Johnny midnight, 288 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,393 Johnny cool, johnny duke, 289 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,896 Johnny sunshine, it Just goes on and on. 290 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,597 I've been johnny everybody. 291 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:51,600 I'm reading a book About life after life. 292 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,835 - oh! - what do you think about that? 293 00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:57,506 Well, I think there is probably Somethin' after this one. 294 00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,908 Well, this book says 295 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:02,077 That people that are Dying have this experience. 296 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:05,147 There is a tunnel and A very bright light. 297 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:08,150 - yeah. - I think the light is god. 298 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:11,387 Well, it could be the Glow just comin' off 299 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,389 All the folks who've Gone on ahead of us. 300 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,447 You know, there is gotta be a Great party goin' on somewhere. 301 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:22,754 Oh, ridiculous! 302 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:24,722 You're ridiculous, herb. 303 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,724 This is history. 304 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,571 Well, hello! 305 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,806 All: hi. How are you? 306 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,541 - hi, how's it goin' big guy? - oh, herb, gosh 307 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:33,709 It's going great... Just great. 308 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,478 Everything is just fine! Yeah. 309 00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,681 I-I've been walking, yeah. 310 00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,349 I walked all over this floor. 311 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,984 And in-in the one Beneath this here. 312 00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,686 And-and I've been thinkin' 313 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:48,323 And you know, I-I just about Decided that I am a very silly fellow. 314 00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:49,391 Yeah. 315 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,259 Very silly fellow. 316 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,196 Either that or old-fashioned. 317 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,364 Y-yeah, may... That's what it is... 318 00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,432 That's what an old-fashioned. 319 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:58,701 You-you see in the old days 320 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,335 The mothers did All the work anyway. 321 00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:01,537 The fathers came out here, 322 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:02,805 They sat down, they paced, 323 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,740 They smoked their cigars. 324 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,341 I was told when I was born 325 00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:07,710 My father was on That waiting room 326 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,244 Sitting in a wicker chair. 327 00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:10,680 Uh-oh. 328 00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:13,115 But you're gonna be in There with mrs. Carlson. 329 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:17,586 Yeah, well, I've been Thinking about that and... 330 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,589 That's what the natural Childbirth classes were all about. 331 00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,091 Oh, yeah, bailey, but... 332 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:25,194 T-the other students, They were just kids. 333 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:28,130 We are the oldest Couple they've ever had! 334 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,965 Now our job... I'm, I'm old-fashioned as... 335 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,400 That's what it is. 336 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:34,336 See, it's, it's part of what's Called crossing over a sea. 337 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,838 The whole thing doesn't take Place on a train or anything. 338 00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:41,643 In a lot of cultures they talk About barges over the big river 339 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:45,781 And you have guides, you know, To sort of show you the way, 340 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:49,151 Like sacajawea. 341 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,620 I think it sounds Like it'll be very nice. 342 00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:53,155 Oh! Nice? 343 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,591 Are you kiddin', peggy sue? 344 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,527 We're talkin' about The terminal blow off. 345 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:02,064 I mean this is the perpetual Party to end all parties. 346 00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,022 Boy, just think about the band! 347 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,457 There'll be janis, 348 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,506 Jimmy, elvis, otis, 349 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,775 Charlie parker, fats waller, 350 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:17,846 Billie holiday, Albert schweitzer, 351 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,338 He played a mean Pipe organ, you know? 352 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:24,253 Bach, mozart, pablo casals, 353 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,720 All the cats'll be there. 354 00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,784 Everybody were gonna Be in this jam session. 355 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:32,361 Then there'll be Picasso and disney, 356 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,785 Maybe doin' little charcoal Sketches of everybody. 357 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,701 Lloyd buckley, he'll Be the mater dei, 358 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,238 Mixin' everything up. 359 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:45,596 Lbj, crankin' out ribs On the barbeque pit. 360 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,211 I wanna talk to plato, 361 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,702 See if he's come up with Anything new upon reflection? 362 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,650 I'll chat with jimmy hoffa, 363 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,714 See where he's been? What he's been doin'? 364 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,154 I'm-I'm old fashioned, that's... 365 00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,756 That's what it is, absolutely. 366 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,091 - mr. Carlson. - uh. 367 00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:03,115 Come here, come on. 368 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:10,232 You know, you have been Talking about this for months, 369 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,667 About how you Were gonna be there 370 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,402 The moment your child Hit the atmosphere. 371 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,538 I believe that's how you put it. 372 00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,674 Yes, I... Ba-but you know... 373 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,398 No, I advise you from Time to time don't I? 374 00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:23,345 Yes. 375 00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,347 Well, have I ever been Known to be wrong? 376 00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:29,084 Mmm, mmh... No, I Don't believe you have. 377 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,120 I want you to consider the fact 378 00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,487 That this is your last chance 379 00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:34,857 To ever see a child Of yours being born 380 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,459 And to be right there To share the experience 381 00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:38,716 With carmen when it happens. 382 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,597 Now, I want you to 383 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,322 Weigh all the pertinent factors. 384 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,136 Uh-huh. 385 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,472 Mm-hmm... And then I want You to screw up your courage 386 00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:51,707 And get your Little derriere back 387 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,531 There in that Delivery room, okay? 388 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,334 But, jennifer, I... I Know you can do it. 389 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,237 - you-you do? - mm-hmm. 390 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,562 Okay, I'm ready. 391 00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:23,739 Oh, there you are! Where have you been? 392 00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,574 - where's my wife? - upstairs. 393 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,809 Upstair-upstairs, where? 394 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:27,833 In surgery. 395 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,113 Your want to see me doc? 396 00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:34,549 Yeah, arthur, we Have a breech birth. 397 00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:36,418 The baby is fanny first. 398 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,620 It looks like I'm gonna have To do a cesarean section, 399 00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:39,755 But maybe not. 400 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,657 This is carmen's second child, 401 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,225 She's still having Good contractions, 402 00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:46,361 But see what we have to Worry about is the cord 403 00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:48,196 Dropping down Between the baby's legs 404 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,060 And the oxygen getting cut off. 405 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:52,637 You're listening to me? 406 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,836 Yes, yeah. 407 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,138 So I've called an Anesthesiologist 408 00:19:57,162 --> 00:19:59,630 And I've got the operating room 409 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,335 And everything is Gonna be just fine, okay? 410 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,148 Okay, yeah. 411 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,484 But you gonna have To hang in there, okay? 412 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:09,628 I'm an old hand at this. 413 00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:19,727 As I watch a girl and I love my peggy sue... 414 00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:25,467 If you knew... Peggy sue 415 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:30,339 Then you'd know why I Feel blue for peggy... 416 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,674 - my... Hi. - hi. 417 00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,642 - how's it goin' trap? - I'm lost. 418 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:36,467 So am I, but I don't care. 419 00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,347 Maybe it's nothing To worry about, 420 00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:41,449 Many do the cesarean Things every day. 421 00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:43,313 Th-th-there is no Stork you know. 422 00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:45,921 There's really nothing to it. 423 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,723 Except I can't get in There to be with her, 424 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,191 And that sort of changes my Whole perspective on things, 425 00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:53,228 But-nah, there's Nothin' to worry about, 426 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,797 Except carmen's in her 40s. 427 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:59,768 This thing's been pretty much Of a chance all along anyhow. 428 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,392 Sometimes I wonder how Clearly I think about things. 429 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,841 What the... Here I am, A full-grown man and 430 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:08,532 I got model airplanes In my office drawer. 431 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,401 - mr. Carlson. - what? 432 00:21:12,538 --> 00:21:13,618 You want to hold hands? 433 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,887 Yeah, we can just Sit here and wait. 434 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,823 - mr. Carlson. - yes. 435 00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:23,325 Dr. Levin would like To see you right now. 436 00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:25,294 - he would? - mm-hmm. 437 00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:27,751 Woman on pa: dr. Duane, Call your chiropractor. 438 00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,267 Where have you two been? 439 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,435 I've been lost. 440 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,459 I ain't gonna tell You where he's been. 441 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:39,374 Well, arthur, it looks like 442 00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:42,310 We have a natural Childbirth on our hands. 443 00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:43,745 Oh, good. 444 00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:44,780 Oh, this is embarrassing. 445 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,615 I called in the anesthesiologist 446 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:47,616 Then I had to send him away, 447 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,518 Makes me look very bad, arthur. 448 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:51,754 - hi honey. - ah, I'm glad you are here. 449 00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:53,655 Where else would I Be at a time like this? 450 00:21:53,679 --> 00:21:56,991 Alright, now I want you to Give a big push with the muscles. 451 00:21:57,015 --> 00:21:58,326 Come on! 452 00:21:58,350 --> 00:21:59,428 That's good, that's good. 453 00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:02,364 That's good, very good, Very good, very good, 454 00:22:02,388 --> 00:22:03,632 Particularly you, arthur. 455 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,300 - thank you. - okay. 456 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,237 Now, just one more time please 457 00:22:08,261 --> 00:22:10,739 And this time just carmen, huh? 458 00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,240 - right. - alright. 459 00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:13,308 Just push, come on! 460 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,476 Everything is coming fine. 461 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:15,510 Everything is looking fine. 462 00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,012 Come on! Come on, carmen! Push! 463 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,180 Come on! Come on, honey! 464 00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:20,084 Come on, carmen! Come On! Come on, carmen! 465 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,717 Bingo! 466 00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:31,726 wkrp in cincinnati 467 00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:33,317 we'll be back after this. 468 00:22:39,892 --> 00:22:42,271 Where you've been andy? 469 00:22:42,295 --> 00:22:44,906 Well, I've been right here Mr. Carlson the whole time. 470 00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,575 You knew this thing was Gonna turn out alright 471 00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:47,609 From the beginning, didn't you? 472 00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:49,411 Yes, sir. Yes, I guess I did. 473 00:22:49,435 --> 00:22:51,680 Oh, uh, congratulations. 474 00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:52,914 - thank you. - cigars? 475 00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:54,816 You son of a gun. 476 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,407 - hey. - hi. 477 00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:59,621 They just brought Her in... Right here. 478 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:02,291 Isn't she beautiful? 479 00:23:02,315 --> 00:23:04,193 You know, mr. Carlson, She looks just like you. 480 00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:05,777 Johnny: my god, I See they all do. 481 00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:07,696 They do, don't they? 482 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,164 Except that one! 483 00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,188 Hey ya pal! 484 00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:15,292 My-mine is crying the loudest. 485 00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:18,263 Hoo-hoo. 35140

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