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1
00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:03,668
And on the local scene
This friday afternoon,
2
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:05,704
County vice squad raids continue
3
00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:09,741
With the closing of two
More so-called adult theaters.
4
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:12,911
Captain ernest t. Gibbs,
Head of the porn patrol,
5
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,847
Had this to say about
The progress of the raids:
6
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:19,050
Man: ooh-wee, that's good bacon.
7
00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:21,387
sweet and smoky,
With a whole-hog taste.
8
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:24,295
Woman: it's porker's
Paradise snub-nosed slab...
9
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,926
Moving from porn to corn,
10
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:30,929
"The free farmers
Foundation of omaha, nebraska,
11
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,758
Finally made public today
12
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,133
The name of this year's
Winner of their highest award
13
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,536
In conservative
Agrarian broadcasting,
14
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:40,606
The copper cob trophy.
15
00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:45,210
I was quite surprised
When mr. Jimmy lee watson,
16
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:48,646
President of these plowing
Patriots, called and told me:
17
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,226
Man: all purveyors of obscenity
18
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,417
will be exposed for
What they really are...
19
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:57,822
Mr. Jimmy lee watson
Went on to say that
20
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,958
Yours truly, this
Reporter, les nessman,
21
00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:02,038
Will received the highly-prized
Copper cob tomorrow
22
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,329
At the awards function
In omaha, nebraska.
23
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,698
Well done, les. This is
Les nessman reporting.
24
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,769
Where's my closing cart?
25
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,473
Uh, nice work, les.
26
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:16,987
You can always tell a pro
27
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:19,111
By the way he covers
His technical errors.
28
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:25,550
Thanks. Oh, um, I
Won't be able to
29
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,453
Play poker tonight
With you fellows.
30
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,021
Oh, darn.
31
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,191
Well, it's this awards
Thing. What can I do?
32
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,994
I've got to fly
To omaha tonight.
33
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:37,996
Success has its high price, les.
34
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,098
Yeah.
35
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,913
Bailey: no, it's
Unanimous, jennifer.
36
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:57,316
They say poker is not for women.
37
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:58,850
Oh.
38
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,419
Ladies.
39
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,589
Herb,
40
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,191
I though you were going to get
An early start on your vacation.
41
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:08,527
L-last-minute details.
42
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:12,931
Well, I've, uh...
I've got to go.
43
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,933
Lucille has the kids in the car
44
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,935
Loaded in the suitcase.
45
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,471
- have fun, herb.
- don't worry about anything.
46
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:22,374
Oh, you know me: I work
Hard, then I play hard.
47
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,846
What was he looking for?
48
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,316
How are you, les?
49
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,318
Humbled and honored, jennifer.
50
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:36,755
And yet grateful to my
Great many regular listeners.
51
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:40,859
He took his hospital
Insurance forms on his vacation.
52
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:43,273
Oh, you know herb: he works
Hard, then he plays hard.
53
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,397
- right.
- where is herb?
54
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:46,743
- he left.
- "Left"?
55
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,434
He was supposed to get
My plane ticket to omaha.
56
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,537
He told me he could
Get a good price.
57
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,772
- maybe he forgot.
- "Forgot"?
58
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,875
That flight is the only
Way to get to omaha in time.
59
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,744
How could that little
Twit do this to me?
60
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,224
Oh, thank goodness.
61
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:04,616
The red-eye to
Omaha, coach class.
62
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,350
Sounds enchanting.
63
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,720
Look at this, les.
64
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,790
"I, herbert r. Tarlek,
65
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,425
Being of sound mind..."
66
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,963
Who is he trying to kid?
67
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:23,468
♪ baby, if you've
Ever wondered ♪
68
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:27,539
♪ wondered whatever
Became of me ♪
69
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:32,076
♪ I'm livin' on the
Air in cincinnati ♪
70
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:36,648
♪ cincinnati, wkrp ♪
71
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:40,752
♪ got kind of tired of
Packin' and unpackin' ♪
72
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:45,057
♪ town to town, up
And down the dial ♪
73
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:49,161
♪ maybe you and me
Were never meant to be ♪
74
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,998
♪ just maybe think
Of me once in a while ♪
75
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:59,037
♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati ♪
76
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,157
Jennif... Jennifer?
77
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,226
Jennif... Jennifer?
78
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:26,130
Hello, wkrp.
79
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,901
Mr. Carlson? No, that's
Absolutely impossible.
80
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,947
Well, we haven't
Been able to find him
81
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,011
Since we started
Redecorating the lobby.
82
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:36,908
Pardon?
83
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,944
Of course we're worried.
84
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:43,814
Mr. Carlson, is there
Anything wrong with herb?
85
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:47,151
Well, he could start taking
His job a little more seriously.
86
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,521
'course, he's not the worst
Offender around here.
87
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,790
Oh, another thing, jennifer,
88
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:55,939
The only way you can break
These hipsters in is by wearing them.
89
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,863
I'll bet.
90
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,812
- what do you think, jennifer?
- I doubt he's going
On vacation.
91
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,603
- huh? No, the present.
- it's nice.
92
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,772
It's for les. Mark the
Little guy's winning
93
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,075
Of the, uh, copper thingamajig.
94
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,413
I can see you're impressed.
95
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,482
- it's a tie.
- huh?
96
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:22,754
Never mind. I'll get mr. Carlson
For the presentation.
97
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,356
Oh, hello. Lucille?
This is jennifer.
98
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:28,226
I'm glad I caught
You before you left.
99
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:30,562
On your vacation.
100
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,430
Right.
101
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,739
We need a number where you'll be
Staying in case we have to call herb.
102
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,403
Oh.
103
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:41,606
Well, have him call us, then.
104
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,009
Okay. Have fun.
105
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,917
Well, they don't look silly
106
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:55,131
When you're standing in
The middle of an icy stream.
107
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:58,323
I'm sorry. I said it. Let's just
Give this to les, all right?
108
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,059
I knew it, jennifer.
I knew it. Herb is ill.
109
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:04,563
Les, lucille always sounds
Strange. Don't go off half-cocked.
110
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:08,166
A newsman is
Always fully cocked.
111
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:11,403
I'm calling the hospitals,
The cheapest one first.
112
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,249
Well, okay, but
Don't say anything
113
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,984
To anyone until
We're sure, okay, les?
114
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,041
"Half-cocked."
115
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,377
Hello? Do you have
A herbert r. Tarlek,
116
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:21,646
T-a-r-l-e-k, there as a patient?
117
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:25,717
This is urgent. P.D.Q. Les
Nessman, wkrp news, here.
118
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,553
Yes, I'll hold.
119
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:31,923
Tomorrow I'll be
Up to my, uh, knees
120
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,970
In the freezing ohio...
Now, is that silly?
121
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,805
No, sir. I'll round everybody up
122
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,789
While you entertain
Jennifer and les.
123
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:41,066
- huh?
- you always entertain me,
Mr. Carlson.
124
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,136
Oh.
125
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,849
I can't believe it.
126
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,633
You guys are afraid of me.
127
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,142
- oh, yeah?
- yeah. Look at you.
128
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,178
You are terrified
To play a few hands
129
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,246
Of nickel-dime
Poker with a female.
130
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,995
Not really terrified.
131
00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,551
I thought you were real
Men, but you're just... Whipped.
132
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,790
It's not me. Venus is
The one who's afraid.
133
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,492
I am not!
134
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,494
- you are so.
- oh, no, I'm not.
135
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,774
- yes, you are, man.
- 9:00, I'll bring the cards.
136
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,443
The other day you said...
137
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:16,868
Shh! Now, listen. Remember,
Bailey: enthusiasm.
138
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,370
- right.
- I'm sorry...
139
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,839
All righty, folks. We
Have an occasion here
140
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,786
Before we all go
Off on our weekend.
141
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,621
- whoo! All right!
- not yet, bailey.
142
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:28,113
I now turn the festivities
Over to our head honcho,
143
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,615
Our numero uno, our own top dog,
144
00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:33,218
Our fearless leader.
145
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,653
- mr. Carlson...
- hmm?
146
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,555
- oh!
- now, bailey.
147
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,068
Whoo! All right! Yea!
148
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,292
That's plenty, bailey.
149
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,862
Oh, yes. Staff, I
Just wanted to say
150
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,997
That it comes as no surprise
151
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,066
To any of us here...
Well, actually,
152
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,146
No surprise to anybody
In cincinnati, really,
153
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,971
Who's within earshot
Of a transistor
154
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:55,740
That one of our own
Has distinguished himself
155
00:07:55,809 --> 00:08:00,479
In a, uh, well, a
Distinguished way.
156
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:04,026
Well, les, I'm
Proud of you. Here.
157
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,351
Do you mind? I'm on hold.
158
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,430
Kind of gets you
Right here, doesn't it?
159
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:11,067
- yeah, it's too
Emotional for me.
- venus...
160
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,735
Les, I'll listen for you.
161
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,693
Here, you can trust
Me. Go on, go on.
162
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,662
Go on, go on.
163
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,764
Well...
164
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:23,468
Well, les, it isn't every day that somebody
Wins that nickel niblet award, so...
165
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,636
It's the copper cob, sir.
166
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,405
Ah.
167
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,313
So we got you a present. Here.
168
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,410
Ooh, for me, from all of you?
169
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,979
- well, actually, les, it's...
- both: from all of us.
170
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,449
It's so beautifully wrapped.
171
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,751
Snakeskin and pigs.
172
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,923
Ooh!
173
00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:49,026
A simulated wood-grain-finished
Trophy case kit!
174
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,028
All you need is
A few tools, les.
175
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:54,098
- and a free month or two.
- yeah. Is that it?
176
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:58,770
Fever... Was that it?
177
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,438
Yeah. But...
178
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,440
Les, you've got a plane to catch
179
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,469
And I've got fish
To catch, so, uh...
180
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,844
- good job, man.
- you deserve that.
181
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:13,184
I guess we can just
All go on... Home.
182
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,553
Even the glue's included.
183
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,423
Right, les. Congratulations.
184
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,225
Yes, still here.
185
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,929
Oh?
186
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,399
Is it serious?
187
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:33,070
No, just a friend.
Thank you anyway.
188
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:37,175
Les, you were right.
He is in the hospital.
189
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,278
- who?
- herb.
190
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,391
Now, it could be any
Number of little things.
191
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,393
You know what a
Frightened man herb is.
192
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,184
Well, I sure do.
He's my best friend.
193
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:50,388
Look, les, when you get home
Tomorrow, we'll go visit him, okay?
194
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,335
Why didn't he tell me, jennifer?
195
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,136
Well, I'm sure he didn't
Want to worry anyone.
196
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,395
You know how...
Thoughtful herb is.
197
00:09:57,464 --> 00:10:00,598
I'm sure it's nothing.
Don't get carried away.
198
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,600
Jennifer, this is one time
199
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,635
I wish I weren't fully cocked.
200
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:12,143
Mr. Tarlek?
201
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:15,146
Uh, yeah. Are you a nurse?
202
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,148
- almost.
- oh, great.
203
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,884
Uh, do I look sick?
204
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,786
Gee, it's hard to tell.
205
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,722
D-do I look like a man
Who needs an operation?
206
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,769
- can I tell you
Something?
- sure.
207
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,493
This is my first
Week on the job.
208
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:32,641
But don't worry. I don't have to
Know about illnesses and junk.
209
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,777
Since I'm new, they make
Me do all the icky stuff
210
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,368
And deal with the
Jerky patients. Here.
211
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:40,538
You're supposed to
Take these so you sleep.
212
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:43,475
- what are these?
- pills.
213
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:49,180
By any chance, is
My wife still here?
214
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,885
No. Listen,
215
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,921
I'd just love to
Stay and chat more,
216
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,491
But I have to give a basketball
Player a sponge bath.
217
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:56,013
Herb...
218
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:01,085
Lester, old buddy!
219
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,087
What are you doing here?
220
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,801
They didn't see you, did they?
They wouldn't even let lucille stay.
221
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:09,360
- I snuck in.
- you snuck in.
222
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,430
You sneaky, dirty dog, you.
223
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,999
That's me.
224
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:17,947
How did you know I was here?
225
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,571
It's my job to
Know things, herb.
226
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,507
You didn't tell anybody?
227
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,276
I mean, you didn't
Tell carlson or andy?
228
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,679
Not carlson or andy.
229
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,348
Good. Good.
230
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,116
Sit.
231
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,187
My old buddy, les!
232
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,869
I thought you were
Supposed to be in omaha.
233
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:43,013
Well, that flight you booked
Me on doesn't leave till 3:00 a.M.
234
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:48,065
Oh... Oh, yeah. That's
A nice flight, les.
235
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:50,334
Herb,
236
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,082
Why didn't you tell me?
237
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,239
It's no big deal.
238
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:58,743
You know how doctors are. You
Know how people go off half-cocked.
239
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,181
Look at me.
240
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:06,050
Do I look healthy?
Better than you.
241
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,220
I'll tell you what. Go ahead
And hit me in the stomach.
242
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,167
- oh, herb.
- no, no, no. I mean it.
243
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:15,693
Just go... Well, you
Said to do it, herb.
244
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,298
You all right?
245
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,901
You don't look so good now.
246
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,041
Oh, les.
247
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:35,012
They want to run
Some tests on my heart.
248
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,615
They think something's wrong.
249
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,117
Oh, no.
250
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,320
Oh, yeah.
251
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,124
You can hit me back
If you want to, herb.
252
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,297
Maybe later, les.
253
00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,804
I think they're crazy.
254
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:02,685
- my heart is as good
As the day it was born.
- you sure seem okay.
255
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,787
Everybody gets little pains
In their chest, you know?
256
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,811
- what pains?
- a lot of people do.
257
00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:08,758
I didn't want to go
To see the doctor.
258
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:11,248
I knew it was the pizza. But no.
259
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:14,018
Lucille says, "Go on, herb.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Go on."
260
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:16,320
Now it's a big deal.
261
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,389
Now they got to probe and cut
262
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:20,457
And stick a lot of tubes in me
263
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,793
And fill me with atomic stuff.
264
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,130
I tell you, les, the next time I
Have gas, I'm not telling anybody.
265
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,232
Do you feel all right now, herb?
266
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,469
You tell me, huh? Look at this.
267
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,215
Boy, I tell you, les,
268
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,606
You've summed up modern
Medicine a hundred times before.
269
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,653
- oh, herb...
- people just laughed at you.
270
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,610
- who?
- you know,
271
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,945
If a doctor doesn't find
Anything wrong with you,
272
00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:43,694
He doesn't make a sale.
273
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:47,318
Well, no, thanks.
No way and no how.
274
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,427
Herb, these are just
Tests, aren't they?
275
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,422
Oh, yeah. Right.
276
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,759
You know, I give
Him a lot of money,
277
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:57,461
He causes me a lot
Of pain, and why?
278
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,597
Because I forgot to
Hold the anchovies.
279
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,532
- hand me my shoes.
- why?
280
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,102
Because I am
Getting out of here.
281
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,437
Anybody wants to cut me open,
282
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:09,874
It is gonna have to be
In the middle of an alley.
283
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,954
- herb, you can't just leave.
- you know,
284
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,211
You have been right
About doctors all along.
285
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,648
Please don't listen to me. Sometimes
I don't know what I'm talking about.
286
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,249
Right.
287
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,824
- are you coming?
- where?
288
00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:31,295
To be among the living, les.
289
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,598
But I was going to omaha.
290
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:39,637
Les, lying here tonight,
291
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,639
I realized just how precious
292
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:43,941
Every second of life is,
293
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,943
And starting right now,
294
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,090
This is one guy who's gonna
Experience the wonder
295
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,814
And beauty of life
From a front-row seat.
296
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,983
Let's go.
297
00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,322
Man: ah, greta.
298
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,058
Woman: dieter.
299
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,565
Herb?
300
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,406
Herb: - hey!
301
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,107
Les, les.
302
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,791
Where have you been?
You missed the best part.
303
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,915
Shh! Shh!
304
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:29,419
Do you know what
Kind of theater this is?
305
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,756
Absolutely. Just
Watch this film.
306
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,595
It's all fuzzy.
307
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:43,768
Les, in 3-d, you have
To wear those glasses.
308
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,137
Then it's just like
They're in the same room.
309
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:48,005
Whoo. Whoo. Oh. Oh.
310
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,419
Herb,
311
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:05,334
- I've been thinking
About these heart tests...
- les...
312
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,991
I really think you should
Get a second opinion...
313
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:11,996
If not from a doctor, then
From a friend, like mr. Carlson.
314
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,865
- carlson?
- or andy.
315
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,301
Travis?
316
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,104
Lester, think.
317
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,984
When you hear "Heart operation,"
318
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,274
What's the first thing
That pops into your mind?
319
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,912
shogun.
320
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,714
- shogun?
- dr. Kildare was in it.
321
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,751
Well, carlson and travis
Are gonna think immediately
322
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,320
That their gung-ho
Hardball salesman
323
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,922
Can only handle
Slow pitch. No, thanks.
324
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,991
Am I going to have
To get the manager?
325
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,563
Les, just enjoy the movie, okay?
326
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:48,332
Later we'll get a little
Pizza and go bowling.
327
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,501
Crazy fun can go on forever.
328
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,684
- I can't see anything.
- I'm not sure I want
To see anything.
329
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,521
I think I've seen enough. Bailey,
Let's get out of here, okay?
330
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,589
Oh, john, would you
Stop it? I am not a child.
331
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,880
If you haven't noticed,
I'm a full-grown woman.
332
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,350
Yeah, and these
Guys know it too.
333
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,530
I had to call them, herb.
Please don't be mad at me.
334
00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:11,555
- you little fink.
- les, is he all right?
335
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:15,526
Are you in pain, herb?
Are you all right?
336
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,195
Look, I'm just trying to
Live my life to the fullest
337
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,009
In the best way I know how.
338
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:21,993
Well, so am I, so
Would you shut up?
339
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:23,534
Down?
340
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,873
Can you move over one?
341
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,481
Bailey... You guys, why don't we
342
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,429
Take bailey on out of here, play a
Couple more rounds of poker, huh?
343
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,520
Because we're here
To save herb's life.
344
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:45,556
Uh, bailey, don't put
Those glasses on.
345
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:49,894
Don't be so... Oh, my goodness!
346
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:54,398
Les nessman?
347
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,533
- johnny, is that you?
- yeah.
348
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:58,881
Do you have any idea what
Kind of a theater this is?
349
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:02,106
- very loud.
- please sit down, mr. Carlson.
350
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,078
Excuse me. Oh, geez.
351
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:11,415
Herb, what is this about you
And your heart and atomic waste?
352
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,051
I'm gonna kill you.
353
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,654
Look, big guy, there's
Nothing more you can say
354
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,962
That hasn't already
Been said by this man.
355
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,931
Well, oh, boy. Here we go again.
356
00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:34,405
You don't suppose they're
Gonna fingerprint us, do you?
357
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:38,709
"Bailey quarters, summa
Cum laude, ohio state,
358
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,711
Sex pervert."
359
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:43,947
I'd like to mention that
All this is les's fault.
360
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,482
Mine?
361
00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:48,385
Why didn't you just mind your
Own business and go to omaha?
362
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:50,554
Omaha.
363
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:54,058
Omaha seems like
A dream to me now.
364
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,093
Thank you, mel.
365
00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:59,162
And I thought I was having
An interesting evening.
366
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:02,165
Oh, I'm sorry, jennifer. I
Didn't know who else to call.
367
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:05,435
- boy, you sure made
The right choice.
- easy, friend.
368
00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:08,071
Les, I thought we were
Gonna go visit herb together.
369
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:10,073
It doesn't really
Matter, jennifer.
370
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:13,878
I missed my flight to omaha,
And herb's gonna drop over dead.
371
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,547
Don't try to scare me, nessman.
372
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,883
All they want to
Do is test my heart.
373
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,051
What, to see if you have one?
374
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,620
Why don't you people
Just leave me alone?
375
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:26,901
Because, herb, it's a natural impulse
To throw a rope to a drowning man,
376
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,004
Even if he doesn't have
Enough sense to grab it.
377
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,106
Yeah, herb, why don't
You have the heart test.
378
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,930
Don't be a jackass.
379
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,599
Look, I appreciate
It, all right?
380
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,936
And I thank each of you
For all your troubles.
381
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:42,006
But this is my life and my
Risk. I'll take the chance.
382
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,741
I'm a gambling man.
383
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:48,078
You're a gambling man, herb?
384
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,514
Okay. Let's gamble.
385
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,050
How about we cut the deck?
386
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,452
What?
387
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,120
If you win, you get
388
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,589
The 200 bucks I made
Off of these guys.
389
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,524
And if I win,
390
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:04,194
- you take those tests.
- you're nuts.
391
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,196
Oh, herb, this is good.
392
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:08,732
And I'll kick in an extra
Two weeks of vacation.
393
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:11,368
And you might as well have
My plane ticket to omaha.
394
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,737
So, how macho
395
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,939
Is the man in the
Earl scheib suit?
396
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,728
Five bucks says he will.
397
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,511
Twenty bucks says he will.
398
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,748
No. I'm just not
Gonna do it. No.
399
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:26,717
Maybe I can sweeten
The pot a little.
400
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,590
Herb, if bailey
Draws the high card,
401
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,925
You take the tests.
402
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:38,195
If you draw the high
Card, you and I will have
403
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,666
An evening on this town
You will never forget.
404
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,138
- evening?
- mm-hmm.
405
00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:50,207
And that's all I'm saying.
406
00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:57,693
You cut first, bailey.
407
00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:59,550
Oh, I don't know.
408
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:01,619
What's the matter,
Quarters? Whipped?
409
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:03,621
Give me the deck.
410
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:05,809
Come on, bailey. I'm
Really counting on you.
411
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,500
Oh. I'm sorry. It's a 4.
412
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,335
Oh, dear.
413
00:22:18,404 --> 00:22:22,038
My turn, I believe.
414
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:30,881
Well?
415
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,853
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Can't
Even beat a lousy 4.
416
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:37,921
It's the kind of
Luck I seem to have.
417
00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:42,593
Um, herb, can I see that card?
418
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:44,428
No.
419
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:49,166
Well, herbert,
420
00:22:49,234 --> 00:22:51,902
I believe you have
Some tests waiting.
421
00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:55,172
All right.
422
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:57,908
Come on, herb,
I'll bail you out.
423
00:22:57,976 --> 00:23:00,744
Mel? Mel?
424
00:23:07,453 --> 00:23:12,823
Thanks... Les, buddy.
425
00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:27,404
W-w-what about the rest of us?
426
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:30,440
Mel? Mel?
427
00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:32,275
- mel?
- mel?
31381
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