All language subtitles for UB218-2

PREVIOUSLY ON "UGLY BETTY"... WILHELMINA IS BACK.

I REINSTATED WILHELMINA AS CREATIVE DIRECTOR OF "MODE." WHAT?

YOU CAN WRITE AN ARTICLE FOR "HOT FLASH."

300 WORDS BY TOMORROW MORNING.

I GOTTA GET READY FOR THE P.T.A. THING THIS MORNING. SINCE WHEN ARE YOU ON THE P.T.A.?

SINCE SHE HAS A CRUSH ON MY GYM TEACHER. YOU WANNA HANG OUT SOMETIME?

Betty) HENRY AND I AGREED A CLEAN BREAK WOULD BE BEST.

YOU KISSED ME. YEAH, WELL, YOU KISSED ME BACK.

I DON'T WANNA BE THE REBOUND GUY.

I WANNA BE THE GUY.

(girl) BETTY.

ME?

(whistle blows)

YOU WANT ME TO PLAY ON YOUR TEAM?

BUT I'VE NEVER EVEN PLAYED BEFORE. THAT'S OKAY.

AND MONA'S SO GOOD.

SHE'S GOT REALLY STRONG LEGS.

WE DON'T NEED MONA'S LEGS. WE NEED YOU, BETTY.

REALLY? YOU NEED ME?

MM-HMM.

OKAY. (laughs)

YES. UH, YES, I-I'LL PLAY.

(woman) OKAY, LADIES, LINE UP.

THANKS, KIMBERLY.

GET BEHIND THE HUMAN SHIELD!

WHERE'S THE HUMAN SHIELD?

WHAT?

NO, NO. NO, STOP THAT!

(whistle blows)

AAH!

AND THAT IS WHY I AM NOT A FAN OF TEAM SPORTS,

AND WHY I WILL NOT BE PLAYING

IN THE ANNUAL "'MODE' vs. 'ELLE'

SOFTBALL GAME TO BENEFIT CHARITY." WELL, THAT'S JUST PATHETIC.

NO, GIO. IT WAS TRAUMATIC.

I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT DAY

WITHOUT GETTING PANIC ATTACKS,

AND WHO CARES IF I PLAY IN THE GAME? DANIEL DOES. HE EVEN CAME DOWN TO MY DELI TO RECRUIT ME.

I GUESS THIS SOFTBALL TEAM IS DANIEL'S BABY.

HE LOVES HOLDING A TROPHY OVER HIS HEAD WHILE PEOPLE CHEER.

WELL, I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SOMETHING FUN FOR US TO DO

AS A COUPLE. WE'RE NOT EXACTLY A COUPLE YET.

I TOLD YOU. I WANNA TAKE IT SLOW.

WE'RE NOT EXACTLY FRIENDS.

(sighs) NO,

BUT WE'RE IN AN EXPLORATORY PHASE.

OH, OKAY, EXPLORER.

SO WHEN DO I GET TO TAKE YOU OUT ON AN OFFICIAL FIRST DATE?

SOON.

WELL, IT BETTER BE VERY SOON.

I'M GOING TO ITALY FOR A MONTH. WHAT?

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID WE'RE NOT A COUPLE.

I SAID, "EXPLORATORY PHASE."

LOOK, IT'S WHAT MARIO BATALI DID

WHEN HE NEEDED TO DISCOVER HIMSELF,

YOU KNOW, FIND HIS OWN UNIQUE FLAVOR.

IT'S ALL PART OF MY 5-YEAR PLAN.

WELL, WOW. THAT'S... REALLY EXCITING...

AND GREAT.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? THE NEXT STEP IN MY 5-YEAR PLAN.

MY VERY FIRST PUBLISHED ARTICLE EVER!

HERE YOU GO. I THINK IT'S NEAR THE FRONT.

OKAY, MAYBE MORE IN THE MIDDLE.

ALL RIGHT. NOT SO MUCH THE MIDDLE.

OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. LET ME SEE.

A BUNCH OF ADS FOR OLD LADY CREAMS...

AH, HERE IT IS--

"YOUNG AT ANY AGE BY..."

"BETTY SUAREZ." BETTY SUAREZ.

WOW. IT'S A LITTLE SMALLER THAN I IMAGINED

AND COMPLETELY REWRITTEN.

"NATCH"? I DIDN'T WRITE "NATCH."

I WROTE "NATURALLY."

WHO SAYS "NATCH"?

AH, YES. "NATCH." (clears throat)

(sighs) I WANT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.

THE IDEA FOR THE ARTICLE WAS GREAT.

THE EXECUTION, NOT SO MUCH.

IT WAS TOO... SAFE.

"SAFE"?

OKAY.

WELL, UM...

THANK YOU FOR THE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM,

AND THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY.

BETTY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

WH--

I... WANT TO BE YOU. (chuckles)

YOU DO?

MM-HMM. I WANT TO OWN MY OWN MAGAZINE LIKE YOU.

WHY?

BECAUSE I LOVE MAGAZINES. (laughs)

I JUST--I ALWAYS HAVE. UH, THEY SPEAK TO ME.

AND I WANNA DO THAT FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

I WANNA SPEAK TO THEM AND TOUCH THEIR LIVES.

WELL, I HAVE NO DOUBT

THAT YOU WILL ACHIEVE WHATEVER YOU WANT,

BUT, BETTY, YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO DO IT BY PLAYING SAFE.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO START TAKING SOME RISKS,

AND IT'S NOT JUST WITH YOUR WORK,

BUT ALSO WITH YOUR LIFE.

(Madonna) ??BABY, HURRY UP, 'CAUSE I CAN'T... ??

YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS THOUGHT I HATED TATER TOTS,

BUT WHEN I GOT OUT OF SCHOOL, I FOUND MYSELF CRAVING THEM.

WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT JELL-O WITH THE FRUIT IN IT?

MNH-MNH. THAT WAS GROSS. YEAH.

DID YOU BRING ANY?

STRAIGHT FROM THE FINE CHEFS... (gasps)

OF THE P.S. 350 CAFETERIA.

OH, YOU ARE A TRUE ROMANTIC, COACH.

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN CALL ME TONY.

I LIKE CALLING YOU COACH.

YEAH? MM-HMM.

??I JUST WANNA FALL IN LOVE ??

(laughs)

(mouth full) YOU ARE A ROCK, WOMAN.

EXCUSE ME? I AM FAR FROM A ROCK.

I AM ONE FINE GEM. YEAH, WELL, IF YOU HADN'T SKIPPED SCIENCE CLASS,

YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IT TAKES A LOT OF HEAT

TO TURN A ROCK INTO A GEM.

IT ALSO TAKES A LOT OF TIME. AND PRESSURE.

(laughs) OKAY. ENOUGH. (laughs)

I WENT THROUGH A LOT THIS YEAR,

SO I WANNA TAKE IT SLOW. FINE.

I'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY.

OKAY.

??BABY, I WILL GIVE YOU MORE ?? ??WORK ??

??THEN YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK ?? ??WORK ??

??GET UP ON THE DANCE FLOOR ?? ??WORK ??

??IF YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK ?? ??WORK ??

??BABY, I WILL GIVE YOU MORE ?? ??WORK ??

??ENTIENDO MEANS I GET IT ??

??SIEMPRE MEANS THAT I WON'T FORGET IT ??

(sniffs)

HEY. GOOD JOB ON THE UNIFORMS.

THE GIRLS AREN'T GONNA WANNA WEAR FLATS, THOUGH.

I SUGGEST A HIGH-HEELED CLEAT. YEAH, WELL, THAT SOUNDS PRACTICAL.

HAVE YOU BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT? A COUPLE OF NIGHTS, ACTUALLY.

THERE'S A LOT OF WORK TO BE DONE

ON THE MADELON DE BIE PRESENTATION. YEAH, WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF DOING IT.

YES, I DO. WE NEED THE ACCOUNT. LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING IS,

YOU HAVE A REALLY STRONG CREATIVE DIRECTOR. NO. I TOLD YOU-- NO WILHELMINA.

SHE WANTS MY JOB. SHE WANTS MY MAGAZINE.

SHE PROBABLY EVEN WANTS MY SOFTBALL TEAM.

I DON'T TRUST HER. SHE ISN'T THE ONLY ONE YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE TRUSTING LATELY.

ALEXIS, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON ME WHEN YOU GAVE HER A TITLE.

DANIEL-- I HAVE A PRESENTATION TO FINISH.

HOW CUTE AM I IN THIS?

PRETEND YOU'RE A MAN FOR A SECOND,

AND TELL ME HOW HOT I LOOK. YOU LOOK FINE, BUT THIS IS NOT WORKING FOR ME.

I LIKE THE "V," BUT IT IS DOING NOTHING FOR MY BUSTLINE.

(gasp) OH, HEY, BETTY. GREAT PIECE IN "HOT FLASH."

YOU TOTALLY CAPTURED THAT OLD LADY VOICE.

??NATCH ?? ??NATCH ??

I DIDN'T WRITE THAT. OH, HEY, AMANDA.

YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD

FOR THE "MODE" SOFTBALL TEAM, RIGHT?

SEE, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO PLAY ON THE TEAM.

YOU WANNA BE THE MASCOT?

UM, NO TO THE MASCOT,

BUT I HAVE PEP TO SPARE.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU ARE NOT ASKING ME-- GASP. I THINK SHE IS.

PLEASE?

WELL, IF YOU WANT TO BE A CHEERLEADER,

YOU HAVE TO TRY OUT FIRST. TOE TOUCH. GO.

RIGHT HERKIE. LEFT HERKIE.

STAR JUMP. JUMP. JUMP.

JUMP. JUMP. JUMP. JUMP.

(camera shutter clicks) HEY, EVERYONE, WE WERE WRONG.

SHE CAN GET OFF THE GROUND. I HAVE PROOF.

(exhales deeply)

UNFORTUNATELY, WE DON'T HAVE ANY UNIFORMS IN YOUR SIZE,

BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TRYING OUT.

MM.

UH, PARDON, S'IL VOUS PLA簾T. PARLEZ-VOUS FRAN癟AIS?

OH, LITTLE FRENCH BOY.

DO YOU MIND IF I DRESS YOU UP LIKE A DOLL

AND PUT MAKEUP ON YOU? QUOI?

EXACTLY.

(Dutch accent) I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHAT IS 23?

23 WHAT?

OH, THAT'S THE AVERAGE AGE OF THE WEALTHIEST SUBSECTOR

OF THE URBAN DEMOGRAPHIC WE'RE TARGETING.

SEE? IT'S RIGHT HERE ON THE CHART. SEE?

(sighs) I AM CONFUSED. IS ANYONE ELSE CONFUSED?

JA.

OF COURSE YOU'RE CONFUSED, BECAUSE IT'S CONFUSING.

THOROUGH? YES. ACCURATE? INDEED.

BUT IT JUST MAKES MY HEAD HURT.

MADELON, WE'VE DONE A TERRIBLE JOB

APPEALING TO YOUR HEAD.

PERHAPS WE CAN APPEAL TO YOUR HEART. (whispers) NO.

WHAT DANIEL IS NEGLECTING TO SAY IS,

THIS WEEKEND IS

THE "MODE" VERSUS "ELLE" CHARITY SOFTBALL GAME.

WHAT IF WE DONATED THE PROCEEDS TO ENGELEN van KINDEREN,

THE CHILDREN'S CHARITY YOU COCHAIR IN THE NETHERLANDS?

AS AN EXPECTANT MOTHER MYSELF,

I CARE A GREAT DEAL ABOUT THE LIVES OF CHILDREN,

ESPECIALLY THE POOR AND THE DISADVANTAGED.

AND WHAT DO YOU WANT IN RETURN?

A 1-YEAR COMMITMENT TO 20 PAGES PER ISSUE,

AT A 30% REDUCED RATE, OF COURSE. GOED?

(whispering in foreign language)

ERG GOED.

HMM.

SHE MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN ASS.

I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THAT ALL WEEK.

SHE STOLE THE SHOW. YEAH, BUT IT WAS MY SHOW.

DANIEL, YOU KNOW THAT I HATE TO SAY THIS,

BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WITCH WILHELMINA

IS GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON.

MAYBE YOU NEED TO FIND A WAY TO WORK WITH HER.

BETTY, WILHELMINA DOESN'T WORK WITH PEOPLE.

SHE WORKS AGAINST THEM. THERE SHE IS,

PROBABLY BAD-MOUTHING ME ALREADY.

(imitates Wilhelmina) "DANIEL SUCKS. DANIEL'S BORING.

DANIEL DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DO HIS JOB."

OKAY, I'M GONNA LET YOU WORK THROUGH THIS ONE.

I HAVE LUNCH WITH GIO,

SO I'LL BE BACK WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH THE VOICES, 'KAY?

(normal voice) OH, BETTY,

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ARTICLE.

NATCH. FUNNY.

(Betty) I DIDN'T EVEN WRITE THAT.

AND THEN MRS. MEADE SAYS THAT MY ARTICLE WAS TOO SAFE.

WELL, WHAT WOULD'VE BEEN THE RISKY THING TO DO?

SHORTEN MORE WORDS-- "FABU," "BRILL"?

SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE IN A DIFFICULT SITCH.

JUST KIDDING.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA GO GRAB SOME LUNCH. WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE BATTING LESSON.

IF YOU'RE GONNA PLAY IN THAT SOFTBALL GAME,

YOU NEED TO PRACTICE.

NO. NO WAY. NOT DOIN' IT. I'D RATHER BE THE MASCOT.

OKAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO PLAY IT SAFE...

PARDON, MONSIEUR.

DANIEL MEADE?

CAN I HELP YOU? S'IL VOUS PLA簾T.

PARLEZ-VOUS LE FRAN癟AIS? JE VOUDRAIS PARLER AVEC VOUS.

SORRY. I SKIPPED MY FRENCH CLASSES IN SCHOOL.

C'EST IMPORTANT, MONSIEUR. JE CROIS QUE TU CONNAIS MA M癡RE...

ALL RIGHT. BETTY.

ET JE SUIS VENU DE FRANCE. C'EST TR癡S, TR癡S IMPORTANT.

DOES ANYONE SPEAK FRENCH?

(groans)

YOU KNOW, IT WOULD REALLY HELP IF YOU KEPT YOUR EYES OPEN.

GIO, I HATE THIS. DO I HAVE TO DO IT?

YES, YOU HAVE TO.

NOW STOP SAYING NO AND START SAYING YES.

FOCUS ON THE BALL.

(whispers) FOCUS ON THE BALL.

(normal voice) OKAY.

AAH! I HIT IT! I HIT IT! WHOA! WHOA!

YOU DID. THAT WAS A GREAT ONE. YES!

YES! YES!

YES! YES! WHOA!

WHOO! WHOO!

YOU DID IT. LET'S GO. HIT IT AGAIN.

YOU SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU SAY YES TO THINGS? YES.

COME TO ROME WITH ME. YES!

WHAT?

OH!

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

VERY.

BETTY, I WANT US TO HAVE

THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST DATE EVER.

AND WHAT COULD BE MORE ROMANTIC THAN ROME?

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

OKAY.

YES.

YES, I'LL GO TO ROME.

(Madonna) ??SO FAR AWAY, SO FAR AWAY ??

JE M'APPELLE DANIEL.

(French accent) HE SAYS HIS NAME IS DANIEL.

HA. SWEET. LIKE ME. MA MAMAN EST LUCIE CHAINET.

HE SAYS HIS MOTHER'S NAME IS LUCIE CHAINET.

ELLE EST MANNEQUIN. ILS SE SONT RENCONTR矇S ? PARIS...

SHE IS A MODEL. IL Y A QUELQUES ANN矇ES.

HE SAYS YOU MET HER IN PARIS MANY YEARS AGO.

UH, IT'S VAGUELY FAMILIAR.

ELLE EST D矇C矇D矇E...

SHE HAS DIED RECENTLY.

OH, WELL, THAT'S--THAT'S REALLY, UM, THAT'S A BUMMER.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TRANSLATE THAT?

NO.

JE SUIS EN VOYAGE SCOLAIRE 獺 NEW YORK.

JE ME SUIS 矇CHAPP矇 POUR RETROUVER MON P矇RE.

HE'S IN NEW YORK ON A TRIP WITH HIS SCHOOL.

HE SEPARATED FROM THEM

BECAUSE HE WANTED TO MEET HIS FATHER.

UH, OKAY. I GOT-- I MEAN, YEAH.

WE COULD HELP HIM FIND HIS FATHER, I GUESS.

DANIEL.

YOU ARE HIS FATHER.

?芬??

OKAY, I HAVE AMAZING NEWS.

ONE--YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE NEWEST MEMBER

OF THE "MODE" SOFTBALL TEAM! ??OOH, OOH ??

THAT'S RIGHT. I KNOW IT'S CRAZY, BUT I JUST SIGNED UP.

AND TWO--DON'T FREAK OUT,

BUT GIO--MY GIO, PICKLE NAPKIN GIO--

HE ASKED ME TO GO TO ROME WITH HIM FOR A MONTH,

AND I SAID YES!

OH, GOD, DANIEL. YOU'RE ALREADY FREAKING OUT.

LOOK, IT'LL BE FINE. I KNOW THIS TERRIFIC TEMP,

AND I'LL TOTALLY BE REACHABLE...

OH, HEY. WHO'S THE KID?

AND WHY ARE YOU WEARING EYE SHADOW?

HE SAYS HE'S MY SON.

WHAT? OH, MY GOD.

YOU TRUMPED ME.

HIS MOTHER WAS A MODEL I SLEPT WITH YEARS AGO.

SHE JUST DIED.

THAT'S TERRIBLE.

IT IS, BUT HE'S NOT MY SON.

YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THIS HAPPENED TO MY FATHER?

PEOPLE JUST SHOW UP, PRETEND TO BE RELATED. TRUE.

BUT, DANIEL, YOUR FATHER DID GET AROUND A BIT.

I MEAN, HE MANAGED TO FATHER A CHILD AFTER HIS DEATH. BETTY.

SORRY, BUT YOU GUYS ARE REALLY FERTILE. LOOK, EITHER SOMEONE IS AFTER MY MONEY,

OR THEY'RE JUST MESSING WITH MY HEAD AND...

AND I THINK I KNOW WHO IT IS.

SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS,

I RESEARCHED EVERY WOMAN YOU SLEPT WITH

FOUND OUT WHICH ONE HAD AN ILLEGITIMATE CHILD,

WAITED FOR THE WOMAN TO DIE AND THEN ARRANGED

FOR THE CHILD TO COME ON A CLASS TRIP FROM EUROPE

JUST TO UPSET YOU?

YOU ARE NOT GONNA BEAT ME HERE, WILHELMINA.

YOU MAY OWN A THIRD OF THE COMPANY,

BUT I AM STILL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF THIS MAGAZINE.

YOU HAVE NO MOVES IN THIS CHESS GAME.

DANIEL, I PLAY CHESS.

YOU'RE PLAYING CHECKERS.

(laughs)

EITHER WAY... (clears throat)

YOU HAVE NO MOVES.

WELL, THAT CHOO CHOO HAS GONE OFF THE RAILS, RIGHT?

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S SOME TWISTED SCHEME

THAT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME ABOUT, IS THERE?

(gasps) THERE IS. OH, MY GOD.

YOU ARE DIVA BRILLIANCE.

MARC... (laughs)

I DIDN'T PLAN THIS.

OH, GOD MUST TRULY LOVE US.

JUST IN OUR TIME OF NEED,

HE DROPS A LITTLE FRENCH BOY INTO OUR LAPS.

GO, GOD. AND VIVA LA FRANCE.

SO WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

WELL, DANIEL CLEARLY DOESN'T WANT

TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE CHILD IS HIS,

SO LET'S USE THAT TO OUR ADVANTAGE.

CHECK AND MATE.

QUEEN ME.

OH, MARC.

(splashes)

VOUS 礙TES PLUS GRAND QUE J'IMAGINAIS.

YEAH, I STILL DON'T SPEAK FRENCH.

HE SAID YOU'RE TALLER THAN HE IMAGINED.

THAT'S NICE. ARE WE ALMOST DONE HERE?

YES, WE ARE.

WE'LL HAVE THE RESULTS BACK IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

OKAY. GREAT. (clears throat) EXCELLENT.

UH, THE DAY'S OVER. I AM OUTTA HERE.

DANIEL... WHAT ABOUT DANIEL, JR.?

WHAT? I CALLED THE SCHOOL. THEY'RE GONNA PICK HIM UP.

BESIDES, I GOT THREE MODELS WAITING FOR ME AT LOTUS.

WHAT? YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEND ANY TIME WITH HIM? BETTY, I TOLD YOU. THIS IS A SCAM.

WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS,

BUT THAT KID IS NOT MY SON.

DANIEL...

WHAT? HE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH.

HE DOESN'T HAVE TO.

(speaking French)

OUI.

BON. BON.

(sighs) MOM, I THINK YOU'RE BEING A TEASE.

SHUT UP. I JUST REALLY LIKE HIM,

SO I'M PLAYING HARD TO GET.

WHICH IS A VERY GOOD IDEA, MIJA.

I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS COACH DIAZ?

I KNOW HE'S HOT AND SUPER SWEET,

AND I KNOW HE HAS A DEGREE IN WELLNESS TRAINING,

SO HE'S SMART.

AND HE DOESN'T SWEAT EVER. IT'S BIZARRE.

WE CALL HIM LIZARD MAN.

HELLO? HEY, BETTY. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS COACH DIAZ?

UM, I'M GOING TO ROME WITH GIO.

WHAT? OH, MY GOD.

AUNT BETTY, YOU'RE CRAZY. I KNOW.

BETTY, HOW ARE YOU GONNA AFFORD THIS? I'VE BEEN SAVING A LITTLE,

AND--AND WE'RE GONNA DO THINGS ON THE CHEAP.

AND WHERE ARE YOU GONNA SLEEP, IN THE SAME BED WITH HIM? DAD, WE HAVEN'T REALLY DISCUSSED THAT PART YET.

WELL, DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD? AY, PAPI, SHE'S 24. IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S A VIRGIN.

WAIT. WHAT? HILDA.

OKAY. UH, I'LL GET THE RECAP LATER. BYE.

DAD, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW ALL THE DETAILS YET,

BUT IT JUST FEELS RIGHT, AND--AND WHEN AM I EVER

GONNA GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO DO THIS AGAIN?

AY, DIOS MIO. (speaking Spanish) (doorbell rings)

DO YOU SUPPORT THIS? HEY, I WOULD LOVE TO GO TO ITALY.

GRACIAS.

UH, AUNT BETTY?

THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR FOR YOU?

OH, MY GOD. WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WILL YOU MARRY ME, BETTY?

(stammers) UM, I'M-- SHOCKED?

TOTALLY.

BETTY--

HENRY, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME RIGHT NOW?

I AM JUST STARTING TO GET OVER YOU.

DON'T. DON'T GET OVER ME. I'M NOT OVER YOU.

I LOVE YOU, BETTY.

NO. I LOVE YOU, AND WE CAN BE TOGETHER.

I WANT YOU TO MOVE TO TUCSON WITH ME. WHA-WHAT?

I'VE GIVEN THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT.

THERE'S NO REASON NOT TO DO IT. I KNOW YOU CAN BE HAPPY THERE,

AND I HAVE A FRIEND THAT WORKS AT A MAGAZINE.

I GAVE HIM YOUR R矇SUM矇. HE WAS IMPRESSED.

AND HE CAN GIVE YOU A JOB AS A WRITER,

AND THE PAY IS GOOD, SO YOU CAN STILL HELP OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY,

AND YOU CAN VISIT THEM, AND THEY CAN VISIT YOU. HENRY--

JUST SAY YES. JUST SAY YES.

I KNOW THIS IS HUGE AND CRAZY.

YES.

BETTY, IT WOULD BE AMAZING.

I'M GOING BACK ON MONDAY.

I WANT YOU TO BE ON THAT PLANE WITH ME

AS MY FIANC矇E.

(Ignacio) ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

YOU'RE GONNA MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO TO ROME? I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO GO TO ROME.

THAT WAS BEFORE HENRY PROPOSED. YOU'RE ONLY 24 YEARS OLD.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED. PAPI, WHY NOT?

SHE FOUND TRUE LOVE. HE WANTS TO BE WITH HER. SHE'S TOO YOUNG, AND IT'S TOO FAR.

WELL, YOU LEFT MEXICO TO BE WITH THE WOMAN YOU LOVED,

AND THAT WAS MUCH FARTHER, AND YOU WERE YOUNGER. I WAS NOT MUCH YOUNGER, AND THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

NO, IT ISN'T, SO WHEN THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT--

GUYS-- SHOES, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? SHOES?

YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS ALL RIDICULOUS.

SHE'S NOT GOING TO ROME WITH SOME GUY SHE BARELY KNOWS,

AND SHE'S NOT GETTING MARRIED AND MOVING TO TUCSON. SHE IS STANDING RIGHT HERE.

AND SHE'S ASKING FOR YOUR ADVICE,

NOT YOUR APPROVAL.

GOOD...

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY FROM ME.

(sighs)

?芬??

GOOD MORNING, FASHIONISTAS.

FOR THOSE OF YOU JUST WAKING UP OR JUST GOING TO BED,

WE HAVE SOME BREAKING NEWS.

JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT THE MEADE FAMILY DRAMA

COULDN'T GET ANY JUICIER,

ALONG COMES SOME FRESHLY SQUEEZED JUS d'ORANGE.

DANI矇L MEADE IS

THE ILLEGITIMATE LOVE CHILD OF DANIEL MEADE

AND THE LATE HAND MODEL LUCIE CHAINET,

WHOSE FAMOUS FINGERTIPS SCRATCHED THROUGH

MANY A BARE BACK IN SOME SCANDALOUS MID-90s PERFUME ADS.

SO HOW DID DANIEL EMBRACE THE NEWS?

HE DIDN'T! HE PARTIED THE NIGHT AWAY AT LOTUS,

PROMOTING THIS WEEKEND'S

"MODE"/"ELLE" CHARITY SOFTBALL GAME.

I HOPE HE DIDN'T LEAVE HIS GLOVE AT HOME. (high-pitched male voice) OH, NO, SHE DI'INT!

MEANWHILE, LITTLE ORPHAN DANNY WALKED THE STREETS OF MANHATTAN,

DIGGING THROUGH DUMPSTERS FOR FOOD.

SO FAR, NO COMMENT FROM DANIEL SR.

PAPA, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

HE'S GOT YOUR JAWLINE. THAT'S ALL, FASHIONISTAS. STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPDATES.

(turns off tv) MOM. WHAT?

THERE IS A RESEMBLANCE. HMM?

NOW WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING THIS? I HAVE A GRANDSON.

I'M VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT, AND YOU SHOULD BE, TOO.

HE'S NOT MY KID. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS GOT OUT.

I CALLED THE SCHOOL. THEY WERE GONNA PICK HIM UP. MADELON DE BIE JUST PULLED OUT.

WHAT? WHY? UH, LET'S SEE.

WE GOT HER ON THE HOOK WITH A CHILDREN'S CHARITY,

AND NOW IT'S ALL OVER THE NEWS THAT YOU ABANDONED YOUR KID.

HE'S NOT MINE. HEY, I WAS ON THAT TRIP WITH YOU IN PARIS.

I REMEMBER YOU DROOLING ALL OVER HIS MOTHER.

(deepens voice) "YEAH, I'M GONNA GO BANG THE HAND MODEL!" THAT'S VERY CLASSY, DANIEL.

(normal voice) WE NEED TO DO SOME MAJOR DAMAGE CONTROL HERE.

I NEED YOU TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE.

WE'RE GONNA TELL MADELON

THAT YOU'RE TAKING A LEAVE OF ABSENCE. (Claire) ALEXIS.

MOM, STAY OUT OF THIS. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.

WHEN AN ADVERTISER THREATENED TO PULL OUT

BECAUSE YOU BECAME A WOMAN, I STOOD BY YOU.

WE ALMOST LOST THIS MAGAZINE. THEN I GUESS I'M LEARNING FROM YOUR MISTAKES.

YOU SLICING HAM WITH THOSE PANTS? WHAT?

PAPI, THAT CREASE CANNOT GET ANY SHARPER.

SHE'S BEHAVING LIKE A CHILD. SHE'S TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH HER LIFE.

SHE'S TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT TO DO.

IS THIS REALLY ABOUT HOW OLD SHE IS,

OR YOU NOT BEING READY TO LOSE HER?

LOOK, I KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO FIND LOVE.

AND WHEN YOU FIND SOMEONE, YOU GOTTA SEIZE THAT OPPORTUNITY.

YOU CAN'T JUST SIT AROUND

AND ACT LIKE IT'S GONNA BE THERE THE NEXT DAY,

BECAUSE SOMETIMES--BOOM! IT'S GONE.

AND THEN YOU HAVE NOTHING.

HEY.

YOU OKAY?

YEAH.

WHERE YOU GOING?

I'M GONNA SEIZE MY OPPORTUNITY.

OH, GOD. DANIEL, I JUST HEARD ABOUT THIS LEAVE OF ABSENCE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

IT MEANS NOTHING. A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

GOOD TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE A VACATION. ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH. IT'S DANI矇L.

LOOK, DANIEL,

IT'S GONNA TAKE A COUPLE WEEKS FOR THE RESULTS TO GET BACK.

SO I MEAN, UNTIL THEN-- BETTY, I DON'T NEED TO TAKE A PATERNITY TEST TO KNOW.

I'M HIS FATHER.

THIS IS A LETTER DANI矇L'S MOTHER WROTE TO HIM BEFORE SHE DIED.

I HAD IT TRANSLATED.

SHE WANTED HIM TO KNOW WHO HIS FATHER IS

AND IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HER, TO COME FIND ME.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

DANIEL, YOU ALWAYS COMPLAINED

ABOUT HOW COLD AND DISTANT YOUR FATHER WAS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THAT. YOU CAN BE THERE FOR YOUR SON.

AND HE JUST LOST HIS MOM, SO HE REALLY NEEDS YOU.

BETTY.

THANKS.

AND IN CASE YOU THOUGHT I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT ROME,

HERE IS AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID TRIP FOR YOU AND GIO.

FIRST-CLASS TICKETS, FIVE-STAR HOTELS, THE WORKS.

(whispers) OH, GOD.

(normal voice) OH, GOD. OH, GOD. (whimpers)

IS THAT A GOOD "OH, GOD" OR A BAD "OH, GOD"?

OH, I'M SORRY, DANIEL. I'M SO SORRY.

IT'S JUST THAT HENRY SHOWED UP LAST NIGHT,

AND HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM AND MOVE TO TUCSON.

BETTY, THAT'S...

UH, HOW--HOW IS THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO I DO?

I-I'M THE LAST PERSON YOU SHOULD ASK FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE.

I KNOW.

BUT YOU'RE MY FRIEND, AND I NEED TO KNOW.

I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO ROME.

BECAUSE I SHOULDN'T BE WITH HENRY?

NO, BECAUSE I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING HERE WITHOUT YOU.

I'M A LITTLE BIASED. SORRY.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

(sniffles)

(sighs)

NO, NO, NO.

THANK YOU FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING.

BEDANKT VAARWEL.

(chuckles)

(cell phone beeps)

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

THAT WAS MADELON DE BIE. IT TOOK A LOT OF FINESSING ON MY PART,

BUT SHE'S FINALLY BACK ON BOARD

NOW THAT DANIEL'S TAKEN A STEP BACK.

THANK YOU, WILHELMINA.

OH, OF COURSE. IT'S ABSOLUTELY FINE--

ME TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING

WHILE, UH, DANIEL'S OFF DEALING WITH HIS LITTLE BASTARD.

I UNDERSTAND NOW MORE THAN ANYTHING

THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY.

BUT TO BE HONEST,

IT'S JUST BEEN A LOT EASIER

GETTING THINGS DONE AROUND HERE BY MYSELF.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

(sighs) IT'S JUST--ALEXIS, YOU AND I--WE HAD A PLAN.

WE WERE GONNA TAKE OVER THE COMPANY TOGETHER.

AND, OF COURSE, I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU TURNED ON ME.

YOU CHOSE YOUR BROTHER. BUT YOU'RE IN CHARGE NOW.

YOU NEED TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR THE MAGAZINE.

AND THAT WOULD BE GETTING RID OF DANIEL?

WELL, THAT'S A LITTLE HARSH.

JUST THINK OF IT MORE AS A...

A REASSIGNMENT TO ANOTHER POSITION IN THE MEADE EMPIRE

THAT MIGHT BE A BETTER FIT.

IF THERE'S ONE THING I'VE LEARNED,

FAMILY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, ALEXIS.

BUT WITH DANIEL RUNNING THINGS, I'M NOT SURE "MODE" WILL.

(French accent) HELLO, MR. MEADE.

THANK YOU FOR COMING. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

HERE IS DANI矇L'S PASSPORT AND HIS DOCUMENT.

I CAN TRUST YOU WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM?

BETTY?

DAD.

I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.

(bell dings)

OH, MY GOD. IT'S GORGEOUS!

IT'S DOMINICAN AMBER.

A FINE GEM FOR ANOTHER FINE GEM.

(laughs) OH, I LOVE IT.

I LOVE IT. THANK YOU.

YEAH, I WAS GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU ON SATURDAY,

BUT THEN YOU CALLED, AND... WELL, I'M GLAD

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK TO YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT, COACH?

I THINK WE'RE DONE TALKING.

MM.

WHAT, NOW YOU WANT TO TAKE IT SLOW?

UH, HILDA, I-I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS.

I'M...

NOT SINGLE.

YOU'RE JOKING.

NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

OKAY? WE--WE WERE SEPARATED FOR A WHILE.

W-WE GOT BACK TOGETHER. WE FELL APART AGAIN.

IT'S JUST BEEN SO ROCKY. ARE YOU TOGETHER NOW?

(scoffs) BUT, HILDA--

STOP. STOP. MY FIANC矇 DIED A YEAR AGO.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I HAVE OPENED UP TO SOMEONE,

AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT YOU'RE MARRIED? I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN.

THIS IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE. HILDA, I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M FALLING FOR YOU.

(scoffs)

(sighs)

(Daniel) OH, HERE IT IS.

LE BUILDING de EMPIRE STATE.

IT'S A, UM, REALLY BIG BUILDING.

GRAND. YEAH? OUI.

AND OVER HERE... OH, THERE'S CENTRAL PARK.

OH, AND OVER HERE WE HA--

OH, THERE'S SOMEONE HAVING A LITTLE FUN IN THE WINDOW.

PUT THAT AWAY FOR NOW.

UM, SO DO YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE MOVIES?

YOU KNOW, MOVIES... LE CIN矇MA?

AH, OUI. I LIKE, UH, JOHNNY DEPP,

"MATRIX," "TRANSFORMERS."

YEAH. UH, SHIA LaBEOUF, NO GOOD.

NO. MEGAN FOX, HOT. SUPER.

HOT CHICKS. I KNOW WHERE YOU GET THAT FROM.

GIVE ME FIVE. YEAH! GOOD. WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.

UM, HOW ABOUT SPORTS? DO YOU LIKE ANY?

UM, SOCCER?

SORRY. UH, FOOTBALL?

UH, NO, NO. UH, UM, BASEBALL.

(chuckles)

HEY, THIS IS YOUR FIRST HALLOWEEN.

AW. WHY AM I WEARING PEARLS AND LACE GLOVES?

YOU WERE BABY MADONNA.

IT WAS YOUR SISTER'S IDEA.

MM. (chuckles)

OH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU AND MOM WENT TO THE GRAND CANYON.

IT'S A PHOTO BOOTH IN CONEY ISLAND.

YOUR MOTHER ALWAYS DREAMED ABOUT GOING THERE,

BUT SHE NEVER GOT THE CHANCE.

THIS IS US AT THE COMMUNITY POOL ONE SUMMER.

IT'S WHAT I WANTED TO SHOW YOU.

YOU WANTED TO JUMP OFF THE HIGH BOARD,

AND I WOULDN'T LET YOU, AND YOU GOT SO MAD.

AND THEN I TURN AROUND

AND THERE YOU WERE, STANDING AT THE EDGE.

(chuckles) I THINK I REMEMBER THAT.

I WAS SO SCARED.

(chuckles) YOU WERE, BUT THEN YOU JUMPED.

AND IT WAS OKAY.

I WANTED TO PROTECT YOU,

BUT YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO, AND YOU DID IT.

(chuckles)

DAD, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT THIS TIME.

(sighs) AMOR.

(voice breaks) WHAT DO I DO?

I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT, MIJA.

I CAN TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU,

THAT I'LL SUPPORT YOU EITHER WAY.

BUT THIS IS YOUR DECISION, BETTY.

YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE.

YOU JUST NEED TO SEARCH DEEP INSIDE,

AND THEN TAKE A DEEP BREATH...

AND JUMP.

IT'S THE ATHLETIC EVENT OF THE FASHION SEASON,

THE ONLY ATHLETIC EVENT OF THE FASHION SEASON--

THE "MODE" VERSUS "ELLE" CHARITY SOFTBALL GAME.

WHO WILL WIN? WHO CARES?

IT'S ABOUT WHO'S WEARING WHAT, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY,

WHO WILL NAOMI CAMPBELL SMASH IN THE HEAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT?

HEY! I JUST WANT TO REACH OUT TO ALL MY FANS

WHO'VE BEEN MISSING ME AND Facebooking ME.

I HEAR YOU, AND I MISS YOU, TOO,

AND I'M GONNA BE BACK WITH A NEW SINGLE

OR REALITY SHOW OR A SEX VIDEO VERY, VERY SOON.

I LOVE YOU!

(chuckles) WE LOVE YOU.

OH! MWAH. MWAH.

GO, MODE! WHOO! GO, MODE!

WHO IS THAT?

(Madonna's "She's Not Me" playing)

(cheering) ??I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE SIGNS ??

DANIEL.

OH, YOU BROUGHT DANIEL JR.

WELL, HE LIKES BASEBALL, AND HE LIKES MODELS,

I THOUGHT, WHY NOT? NAOMI CAMPBELL, UH, TR癡S SEXY.

MM. MY FRENCH IS ACTUALLY GETTING BETTER. I UNDERSTOOD HIM.

WELL, I THINK IT'S REALLY GREAT THAT YOU GUYS ARE--

OH, UM, I'LL SEE YOU GUYS OUT ON THE FIELD, OKAY? ALL RIGHT.

SOMETIMES SHE'S A LITTLE WEIRD. SORRY.

IS, UH, MARC?

TR癡S DR繫LE. "M-O-D-E."

UH, FUNNY.

YOU KNOW MARC?

HOW...

READY?

OKAY.

(both chanting) WE'RE "MODE." WE'RE COOL.

WE'LL TAKE YOUR TEAM TO SCHOOL.

YOU'RE "ELLE." YOU SMELL.

YOUR TEAM CAN GO TO...

(singsong voices) HELL.

GO, "MODE"! WHOO! GO, "MODE"!

WHOO! WAS THAT AS GOOD AS IT FELT? IT FELT REALLY GOOD.

OH, I JUST WISH WE COULD GET HIGHER.

I KNOW. WE NEED SOMETHING SOLID THAT WE CAN JUMP ONTO.

WE NEED, LIKE, A BENCH OR A TRUNK OR SOMETHING. BETTY, PERFECT TIMING. WE HAVE TO JUMP ON YOU.

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. OH!

OH, MY GOD. SHOW SOME TEAM SPIRIT.

GUYS, YOU CAN'T JUST JUMP ON PEOPLE. IT'S RUDE.

OH!

AM I CRAZY, OR ARE... YOU AVOIDING ME?

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WELL, BECAUSE YOU JUST LOOKED AT ME AND RAN.

BETTY, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO ROME WITH ME,

JUST--JUST TELL ME.

GIO, I DO, BUT-- (Henry) BETTY!

HENRY. HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? "MODE" NEEDED MORE GUYS ON THE TEAM, SO I VOLUNTEERED.

I VOLUNTEERED, TOO. I THOUGHT IT'D BE A FUN THING

FOR ME AND BETTY TO DO BEFORE WE GO TO ROME. UM...

ROME? YEAH.

(chuckles)

I JUST ASKED BETTY TO MARRY ME.

WHAT?

WHA--

(heart beating)

(Suzuki) "MODIES" TAKE THE FIELD.

OH.

(Suzuki) PLAY BALL, BITCHES! (Henry and Gio) BETTY!

TIME FOR THE OPENING PITCH.

DANIEL MEADE, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF FOR "MODE" MAGAZINE,

IS ON THE MOUND.

DANIEL MEADE?

HELLO?

DANIEL MEADE?

YOU HAD HIM PICK THROUGH THAT GARBAGE.

YOU LEAKED THE VIDEO TO THE PRESS. OOPS. BUSTED.

TAKE A LOOK AROUND, WILHELMINA. YOU SEE THESE PEOPLE?

THAT'S MY TEAM, MY MAGAZINE. STOP TRYING TO PUSH ME OUT.

OH, TRYING? DANIEL, DARLING, IT'S DONE.

YOUR SISTER ALREADY PUSHED YOU OUT.

NO, SHE ASKED ME TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE

UNTIL WE GOT THE MADELON DE BIE ACCOUNT BACK.

OH, SO YOU DON'T KNOW?

THERE'S NO LONGER A LOW PROFILE.

IT'S NO PROFILE. MM.

YOU'RE NO LONGER EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF "MODE."

I AM.

(Suzuki) HELLO? "MODE," WHO'S PITCHING?

I'LL PITCH.

(cheering and booing)

(Suzuki) IT APPEARS WE HAVE

A LAST-MINUTE CHANGE ON THE ROSTER.

WILHELMINA SLATER WILL BE PITCHING FOR "MODE."

AND FIRST UP TO BAT FOR "ELLE" MAGAZINE--

JOE ZEE.

(crowd cheering)

(sighs)

(grunting)

STRIKE THREE! (cheering)

I MUST HAVE BEEN DISTRACTED BY HOW FAT YOU LOOK IN WHITE.

OH, NO, SHE DI'INT!

(laughs) NEXT.

(cheering)

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? IT'S WHAT'S BEST FOR THE COMPANY.

A COMPANY I'M STILL A THIRD OWNER OF.

WE'LL FIND SOMETHING ELSE FOR YOU TO DO,

BUT "MODE" JUST ISN'T IT.

(people shouting and cheering indistinctly)

(Suzuki) AND NEXT UP FOR "ELLE," ROBBIE MYERS.

(crowd cheering)

(grunts)

NICE TRY, ROBBIE. BITE THIS.

LOVE YOU, TOO, DEAR. NEXT!

NICE CATCH, WILLIE. WAY TO HANDLE A BALL.

NEXT UP,

THE MOST INFAMOUS MEMBER OF THE SUPERMODEL TRINITY--

THE FEROCIOUS AND FIERCE NAOMI CAMPBELL.

(Madonna) ??GET UP OUT OF YOUR SEAT ?? ??YOUR SEAT ??

??COME ON UP TO THE DANCE FLOOR ??

??I'VE GOT SOMETHING SO SWEET ??

??I'LL BE YOUR ONE STOP ?? ??ONE STOP ??

??CANDY SHOP ?? ??CANDY SHOP ??

??EVERYTHING ?? ??EVERYTHING ??

??THAT I GOT ?? ??THAT I GOT ??

DON'T WORRY, DARLING. I WIELD THIS BAT WITH LOVE.

(cell phone rings)

OH, GOD.

(crowd gasps)

BONO!

NOT NOW, DARLING. I'M PLAYING CRICKET.

OKAY.

(crowd shouting indistinctly)

GIVE IT TO ME, MAMA. I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU.

(sighs)

WHEW.

(cheering)

I GOT IT!

(Betty, Gio and Henry) I GOT IT!

(thud)

GOOD MORNING, MRS. GRUBSTICK.

I MADE YOU BREAKFAST IN BED.

BLUE CORN PANCAKES WITH PRICKLY PEAR SYRUP--

TUCSON SPECIALTY.

THANK YOU, HENRY.

MM-HMM. HOW'D YOU SLEEP?

WELL, I HAD THIS DREAM.

IT WAS SO VIVID. IT WAS ABOUT THE SOFTBALL GAME.

OH, YOU MEAN THE BEST SOFTBALL GAME EVER?

YES, THE DAY I DECIDED TO MARRY YOU.

AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE? MM...

HEY. YES.

OH, HEY, ABOUT THIS WEEKEND.

I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU, ME AND LITTLE NATE

COULD TAKE A ROAD TRIP DOWN TO THE COOLIDGE DAM.

YOU'RE NEVER TOO YOUNG TO START LEARNING

ABOUT HYDROELECTRIC POWER. OH, HENRY, MY ARTICLE'S DUE THIS WEEKEND. I'LL BE WORKING.

OH.

UNLESS I START RIGHT NOW, AND I FINISH IT ALL TODAY.

OH, BY THE WAY, DID YOU PICK UP THAT DANDRUFF SHAM...

(Italian music playing)

(European siren wailing)

...POO?

OKAY, I HAVE GOT TO COMP DANIEL SANDWICHES

FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!

THIS IS THE NICEST HOTEL ROOM I'VE EVER STAYED IN.

WHAT'S WRONG?

UM, NOTHING. NOTHING.

I... I WAS JUST HAVING THIS WEIRD D矇J? VU OR SOMETHING.

I WAS IMAGINING MY LIFE IF I HAD ENDED UP IN TUCSON.

HA! AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU DIDN'T?

COME HERE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S LOOK AT THE ITINERARY FOR TODAY.

WE'RE GONNA HIT THE PANTHEON... OOH.

AND THEN THE FONTANA di TREVI, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GO

TO THIS AMAZING BAKERY IN CAMPO dei FIORI.

THEY MAKE AN UNBELIEVABLE WHITE PIZZA. OOH. CAN WE GO THERE FIRST?

WHATEVER YOU WANT.

(Henry) BETTY.

(music warbles and fades) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HENRY?

YEAH, BETTY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WANT AN ANSWER.

WHAT? I NEED TO KNOW, BETTY. MAKE A CHOICE.

YOU CAN'T KEEP ME WAITING LIKE THIS. MAKE A CHOICE.

(Gio and Henry) MAKE A CHOICE. MAKE A CHOICE.

MAKE A CHOICE! MAKE A CHOICE!

MAKE A CHOICE! MAKE A CHOICE!

MAKE A CHOICE! MAKE A CHOICE!

(gasps)

(panting)

(Madonna's "Jump" playing)

IS SHE ALL RIGHT?

I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

??THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH YOU CAN LEARN IN ONE PLACE ??

??THE MORE THAT I WAIT ??

??THE MORE TIME THAT I WASTE ??

??I HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME TO WASTE ??

??IT'S TIME TO MAKE MY WAY ??

(cheering)

??I'M NOT AFRAID OF WHAT I'LL FACE ??

??BUT I'M AFRAID TO STAY ??

??I'M GOING DOWN MY OWN ROAD, AND I CAN MAKE IT ALONE ??

??I'LL WORK AND I'LL FIGHT ??

??TILL I FIND A PLACE OF MY OWN ??

??ARE YOU READY TO JUMP? ??

??GET READY TO JUMP ??

??DON'T EVER LOOK BACK, OH, BABY ??

??YES, I'M READY TO JUMP ??

??JUST TAKE MY HANDS ??

??GET READY TO JUMP ??

??WE LEARNED OUR LESSON FROM THE START ??

??MY SISTERS AND ME ??

??THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DEPEND ON ??

??IS YOUR FAMILY ??

??LIFE'S GONNA DROP YOU DOWN ??

??LIKE THE LIMBS OF A TREE ??

??IT SWAYS AND IT SWINGS ??

??AND IT BENDS UNTIL IT MAKES YOU SEE ??

??ARE YOU READY TO JUMP? ??

??GET READY TO JUMP ??

??DON'T EVER LOOK BACK, OH, BABY ??

??YES, I'M READY TO JUMP ??

??JUST TAKE MY HANDS ??

??GET READY TO ??

??ARE YOU READY? ??

??I'LL WORK AND I'LL FIGHT ??

??TILL I FIND A PLACE OF MY OWN ??

??IT SWAYS AND IT SWINGS ??

??AND IT BENDS UNTIL YOU MAKE IT YOUR OWN ??

??I CAN MAKE IT ALONE ??

??I'M READY TO JUMP ??

??JUST TAKE MY HANDS ??

??GET READY TO ??

??ARE YOU READY? ??

(engine roars)