Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,373 --> 00:00:04,543
Previously on "ugly betty"... In 24 hours, we will have proof
2
00:00:04,535 --> 00:00:06,105
If bradford meade is yo' daddy.
3
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,537
(man) it's your mother's beloved dog halston.
4
00:00:08,539 --> 00:00:11,479
Partial retrograde amnesia? The last thing alexis remembers
5
00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:14,152
Is mom's birthday party two years ago.
6
00:00:14,145 --> 00:00:17,015
With alexis still in the hospital,
7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,217
I want to postpone the wedding. Your father was a hero. I bet you're just like him.
8
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:24,021
(justin) no, i'm not. It looks like we'll need an intern around the office
9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,034
For the next couple of weeks before school starts. Oh, my god!
10
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,797
And my dad's still stuck in mexico. (ignacio) i killed ramiro vasquez.
11
00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:33,061
Ignacio suarez?
12
00:00:33,064 --> 00:00:35,174
Let me tell you something about this baby of yours.
13
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:38,166
Christina told me about charlie, that she cheated on me.
14
00:00:38,169 --> 00:00:40,639
Charlie was the only reason we couldn't be together.
15
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,371
I want to be with you, betty.
16
00:00:43,374 --> 00:00:45,154
(thunder rumbling)
17
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,476
Henry, you're drunk.
18
00:00:46,477 --> 00:00:49,377
(slurs) and you're beautiful.
19
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:54,162
Henry, stop.
20
00:00:56,357 --> 00:01:00,757
Look, this is not how i ever pictured us being together.
21
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:04,801
You're drunk off of... Wine coolers.
22
00:01:04,795 --> 00:01:07,765
"melon and apricot." it's gross.
23
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,798
You're right.
24
00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:13,671
I'm a terrible person.
25
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,384
I had a cigarette, too.
26
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:19,147
Why didn't you tell me about charlie and that dentist?
27
00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,180
I...
28
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:25,093
Look, i've wanted to. I just...
29
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,085
Started thinking that maybe it wasn't the right thing to do.
30
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,088
Henry, there is a baby involved.
31
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,760
Which might not be mine. But maybe it is,
32
00:01:32,763 --> 00:01:36,133
And i-i can't get my heart broken again.
33
00:01:36,127 --> 00:01:38,127
It's like the whole world is telling us
34
00:01:38,129 --> 00:01:41,269
We shouldn't be together.
35
00:01:41,272 --> 00:01:43,602
We're like melon and apricot.
36
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,844
Look, i do want to be with you.
37
00:01:45,836 --> 00:01:47,836
I do, it's...
38
00:01:47,838 --> 00:01:52,508
It's just-- we don't know whose baby it is,
39
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:55,793
And we just have to wait,
40
00:01:55,786 --> 00:01:58,746
And i can do that
41
00:01:58,749 --> 00:02:01,149
If you can.
42
00:02:01,152 --> 00:02:04,162
(thunder rumbling)
43
00:02:04,155 --> 00:02:07,155
(snoring)
44
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,731
(daniel) wow. (amanda) yeah.
45
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,242
That's it? Those are the d.n.a. Results.
46
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,735
So, uh, h-how many times do you think we...
47
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,607
A lot, but just remember,
48
00:02:18,609 --> 00:02:20,609
If your dad's d.n.a. Does match mine,
49
00:02:20,611 --> 00:02:22,611
We're only half brother and sister,
50
00:02:22,613 --> 00:02:24,623
Which means if we did it, like, 20 times,
51
00:02:24,615 --> 00:02:28,275
It was only wrong ten. Okay, that actually made sense to me.
52
00:02:28,279 --> 00:02:31,919
You are so my sister. Oh, my god. I can't take it anymore.
53
00:02:34,485 --> 00:02:37,455
(gasps) bradford's not my father! You're not my sister?
54
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,828
Kissing isn't weird at all. It's great. We're not related.
55
00:02:40,831 --> 00:02:42,791
We could kiss all we want, right?
56
00:02:42,793 --> 00:02:45,473
Yeah, we can totally do this.
57
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,436
Nothing taboo here.
58
00:02:47,438 --> 00:02:50,298
(giggles) you know what? Why don't we hop in--
59
00:02:50,301 --> 00:02:53,901
Daniel, no. I have unresolved issues with you.
60
00:02:53,904 --> 00:02:56,954
So just squeeze a boob, because i have to go.
61
00:03:00,451 --> 00:03:03,711
Oh, my god. This is so humiliating.
62
00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:05,724
I've never done this before.
63
00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:06,916
Try this.
64
00:03:06,917 --> 00:03:11,857
It's tomato juice, raw egg and a little bacon grease...
65
00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:13,862
A trick i learned in high school.
66
00:03:13,864 --> 00:03:15,934
Hangover gone by third period.
67
00:03:17,928 --> 00:03:19,728
(gulps)
68
00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:21,730
Tastes as good as it sounds.
69
00:03:21,732 --> 00:03:23,902
Sorry we didn't take your shoes off
70
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,914
Before you went to bed last night,
71
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,876
But we could not untie those double knots.
72
00:03:27,878 --> 00:03:29,838
I worry about tripping.
73
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,340
So you must be dying to call that bitch.
74
00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:33,883
Charlie?
75
00:03:33,884 --> 00:03:36,224
Honestly, i'm afraid to.
76
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,216
I don't know what i'm gonna do when i hear her voice.
77
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,919
I've never been this mad.
78
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,591
This is you mad?
79
00:03:42,593 --> 00:03:43,893
Yeah.
80
00:03:43,894 --> 00:03:46,534
I feel like a female orangutan
81
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,227
When she's in estrous
82
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,758
And a nondominant male tries to mount her.
83
00:03:50,761 --> 00:03:53,861
She just bares her fangs and attacks blindly.
84
00:03:53,864 --> 00:03:55,874
That story would be more effective
85
00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:59,336
If you compared yourself to the male orangutan,
86
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,340
And if i knew what estrous was.
87
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,772
You hungry?
88
00:04:02,773 --> 00:04:04,453
Oh! Oh.
89
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:07,915
I'm glad you're not mad at me for spilling the beans.
90
00:04:07,918 --> 00:04:11,478
He had to find out somehow, right? Yeah. So what are you gonna do now?
91
00:04:11,482 --> 00:04:14,462
I don't know. Wait, try not to think about it,
92
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:16,455
Which is easy, because i have so much to do
93
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,957
For this benefit tonight.
94
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:20,588
Oh, please, don't talk to me about the black & white ball.
95
00:04:20,591 --> 00:04:23,591
I have been gluing crap onto these things for two weeks.
96
00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:25,774
Glitter came out in my pee yesterday.
97
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,766
Yeah, but it's all for charity,
98
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,768
And it's daniel's favorite event of the year.
99
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,970
He gets to go up onstage and present
100
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:35,912
That giant check thingy. Yeah, men get excited about things like that, don't they?
101
00:04:35,906 --> 00:04:38,346
(bell tinkles) oh, yay! The sandwich guy!
102
00:04:41,312 --> 00:04:42,952
I got too excited, right?
103
00:04:42,953 --> 00:04:45,363
Well, maybe.
104
00:04:45,356 --> 00:04:47,916
Okay, chicken and cheese special on a baguette.
105
00:04:47,918 --> 00:04:51,658
No chicken, no cheese, no baguette.
106
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,974
I just sold her a plate of lettuce for 7 bucks.
107
00:04:56,967 --> 00:04:58,967
Yes, but that's her breakfast, lunch and dinner,
108
00:04:58,969 --> 00:05:00,969
So really, it's a bargain. Mm.
109
00:05:00,971 --> 00:05:03,471
Could i please get the turkey sun-dried tomato
110
00:05:03,474 --> 00:05:07,044
On a baguette, please? Yes! Man, i knew you were an eater.
111
00:05:07,037 --> 00:05:09,607
Oh. Thank you...
112
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,010
I guess.
113
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:14,041
So you're new. What happened to robert?
114
00:05:14,044 --> 00:05:15,924
You know, i think he inherited money...
115
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,586
Or was arrested.
116
00:05:17,588 --> 00:05:19,588
Oh.
117
00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:22,490
I don't know. There was a lawyer and cash involved.
118
00:05:22,493 --> 00:05:25,003
Well, welcome.
119
00:05:24,995 --> 00:05:28,395
Hey, betty. Can you get me this for the, uh, benefit tonight?
120
00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:31,999
Uh, okay, yes. Thank you.
121
00:05:32,002 --> 00:05:33,832
Daniel!
122
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,344
The ibot motorized wheelchair?
123
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,935
I thought you were supposed to be walking by today.
124
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:41,868
No, i still need therapy. I'm still in a lot of pain, betty.
125
00:05:41,872 --> 00:05:42,912
Thanks.
126
00:05:42,913 --> 00:05:45,623
Look, i know that you feel really bad
127
00:05:45,616 --> 00:05:47,916
About this whole alexis thing...
128
00:05:47,918 --> 00:05:49,918
But do you think maybe your pain
129
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,050
Could be more emotional than physical?
130
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,052
My leg isn't crying, betty. It's hurting.
131
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,064
Just get me the wheelchair, okay?
132
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:59,026
Okay, i'll just add it to my list. Oh, and about the check.
133
00:05:59,029 --> 00:06:01,859
Can you, um, make sure the check is big,
134
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,902
But not so big it makes my head look small? Okay.
135
00:06:04,895 --> 00:06:07,665
And it should be... (clears throat) blue or green.
136
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,768
Blue. Got it. See, 'cause last year, it was beige,
137
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:13,800
And in all the photos, i was kinda washed out. Whatever you need.
138
00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:15,854
(telephone rings) daniel meade's office.
139
00:06:15,846 --> 00:06:17,506
Fashion gives back--
140
00:06:17,508 --> 00:06:19,608
Once again, it's the "mode" black & white ball
141
00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,610
Benefiting new york children's hospital.
142
00:06:21,612 --> 00:06:24,082
Yes, the clothes will be fabulous
143
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:26,864
And the kids will be sick.
144
00:06:26,857 --> 00:06:29,857
Unfortunately, this year, claire meade will not be able
145
00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:32,060
To fulfill her usual hostess duties
146
00:06:32,062 --> 00:06:33,962
As she's on the lam, which, i understand,
147
00:06:33,964 --> 00:06:37,004
Is what mario batali is serving as the main course.
148
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,997
But in the spirit of black & white,
149
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,099
The ball will be presided over by bradford meade
150
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,971
And fiancée wilhelmina slater.
151
00:06:42,973 --> 00:06:45,113
Or should i say ex-fiancée?
152
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,675
Since apparently, the wedding has been postponed.
153
00:06:47,678 --> 00:06:48,878
Trouble in paradise?
154
00:06:48,879 --> 00:06:52,109
Turn it off. Ugh. This is so humiliating.
155
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:55,122
My closest friends in the world will be there tonight.
156
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,745
Can you imagine how happy this is gonna make them?
157
00:06:57,748 --> 00:06:59,748
Oh! It's just a temporary setback.
158
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,750
You'll still have the wedding in a few months.
159
00:07:01,752 --> 00:07:03,752
If bradford thinks he loves you now,
160
00:07:03,754 --> 00:07:06,764
He'll think he loves you then. The longer we wait,
161
00:07:06,757 --> 00:07:10,557
The more time bradford's spawn will have to talk him out of it.
162
00:07:10,561 --> 00:07:12,431
(sighs) i'm done, marc. It's over.
163
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,002
Now you listen to me, lady.
164
00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:16,514
The wilhelmina slater i know and occasionally wish i was
165
00:07:16,507 --> 00:07:18,007
Does not throw in the towel
166
00:07:18,008 --> 00:07:20,008
Just because the old man she's scamming
167
00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:23,140
Has suddenly gone all soft for his tramnesiac daughter. You're touching me.
168
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,053
It was a risk. Oh.
169
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,115
I just didn't count on the father/daughter rebonding.
170
00:07:28,118 --> 00:07:31,118
I hate that love won out. Well, maybe someone should remind daddy's little girl
171
00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:33,851
That she hates daddy, and that she spent
172
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,064
The last two years trying to bring him down.
173
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,986
Wait a minute. Aah!
174
00:07:37,988 --> 00:07:40,988
Oh, did i say something smart? I love it when i do that.
175
00:07:40,991 --> 00:07:43,991
How are you at photoshop? A-mah-zing.
176
00:07:43,994 --> 00:07:46,704
I'm about to rewrite history.
177
00:07:48,499 --> 00:07:51,099
This sure beats a 40-ounce.
178
00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:53,841
The wedding's postponed. Do you know what this means?
179
00:07:53,844 --> 00:07:56,754
Wilhelmina is losing her grip on bradford.
180
00:07:56,747 --> 00:07:59,977
Why we gotta talk about him during family time?
181
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,050
I made this rum punch out of pomegranate.
182
00:08:02,052 --> 00:08:04,212
There ain't no more guava.
183
00:08:04,214 --> 00:08:07,964
Yoga, please. If i'm ever going to get him back, it's now.
184
00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:09,958
I've got to go to that ball tonight.
185
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,120
I've got to talk to him.
186
00:08:12,122 --> 00:08:15,102
You a wanted felon. Cinderella can't go to no ball.
187
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,965
She can if it's a masked ball.
188
00:08:22,533 --> 00:08:25,043
Oh, hey! Uh, i'm glad you're still here.
189
00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:27,805
There's just a little problem with my sandwich.
190
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,078
Oh, man. Is there a hair?
191
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,680
I'm, like, the only one left in my family with a full head.
192
00:08:33,684 --> 00:08:37,124
Uh, no. It's just that there are only three sun-dried tomatoes.
193
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,287
Yeah. Yeah, i know. I made it.
194
00:08:39,289 --> 00:08:40,989
Oh, okay.
195
00:08:40,991 --> 00:08:44,151
Uh, it's just that robert would always put more,
196
00:08:44,154 --> 00:08:47,234
So...
197
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,227
Sorry. I don't know where robert is.
198
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,929
I'm not his keeper, okay?
199
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,001
But robert didn't know jack about food.
200
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:55,013
A sun-dried tomato is a concentrated flavor.
201
00:08:55,005 --> 00:08:57,005
More than three on a sandwich
202
00:08:57,007 --> 00:08:59,307
Would overwhelm the smoky flavor of the turkey.
203
00:08:59,309 --> 00:09:02,909
Okay, uh, you know what? I think my turkey can handle it.
204
00:09:02,913 --> 00:09:06,723
So could i just please have some more sun-dried tomatoes?
205
00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:08,747
Nah.
206
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:09,949
It would be wrong.
207
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:13,050
I-i want my sandwich the way i want my sandwich.
208
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,763
Wow.
209
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:17,225
(chuckles) you know, when i first saw you,
210
00:09:17,227 --> 00:09:20,227
I thought, "wow. There goes a girl from the neighborhood.
211
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:23,030
What is she doing here?"
212
00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:26,843
Now i see you're just like all the other spoiled "mode" girls.
213
00:09:26,837 --> 00:09:28,967
No. No, i'm not!
214
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,969
You know, i bet before you got here,
215
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,701
You didn't even know what a sun-dried tomato was.
216
00:09:33,704 --> 00:09:35,714
You just reached into the cart
217
00:09:35,706 --> 00:09:37,706
And pulled out whatever had the most cheese. I...
218
00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:39,008
I still eat cheese.
219
00:09:39,009 --> 00:09:42,009
I mean, how dare he act like he knows who i am?
220
00:09:42,012 --> 00:09:44,662
And wh-why do i even have to explain myself?
221
00:09:44,655 --> 00:09:48,115
Okay, betty, not really sure why you're so upset.
222
00:09:48,118 --> 00:09:49,818
Sun-dried tomatoes, really?
223
00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:53,220
I mean, don't you find them kind of salty and breathy?
224
00:09:53,223 --> 00:09:55,873
No, it's not just that. It's...
225
00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:57,996
I mean, he was so rude to me.
226
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,698
Betty, you need to calm down, okay?
227
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,771
I mean, go online to that-- that web site you like.
228
00:10:02,773 --> 00:10:04,913
You know, the one with the baby ducks
229
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,905
Who think the cat's their mother?
230
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,077
Socuteitssick.com-- i love that web site.
231
00:10:09,079 --> 00:10:11,809
Except one of the baby ducks is missing.
232
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,722
All right, what is this guy's name?
233
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,015
I don't know.
234
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,916
Something lame, like gio.
235
00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:23,951
(speaking spanish)
236
00:10:23,954 --> 00:10:26,764
Hey, papi. Have you been watching?
237
00:10:26,757 --> 00:10:28,757
Señor delgado's in a lot of trouble.
238
00:10:28,759 --> 00:10:30,359
Do you think they're gonna kill him?
239
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,360
Let's hope not. (gun cocks)
240
00:10:32,362 --> 00:10:34,712
Hey, did you book your flight yet?
241
00:10:34,705 --> 00:10:37,705
Not yet. I just wanted to call and say...
242
00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:40,008
I love you all.
243
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:42,410
Ay. You're such a nervous flyer.
244
00:10:42,412 --> 00:10:44,852
It's gonna be fine. Ooh, it is getting good.
245
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,215
Okay, i'll talk to you later. Love you, bye.
246
00:10:47,217 --> 00:10:49,217
(dial tone drones)
247
00:10:49,219 --> 00:10:52,879
You see? I'm not such a monster. I let you say good-bye.
248
00:10:52,883 --> 00:10:55,033
At least tell me what you want.
249
00:10:55,025 --> 00:10:57,685
Who are you? (door opens)
250
00:10:57,688 --> 00:10:59,988
(man) i think you know my father.
251
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:06,744
(laughing)
252
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,940
Ramiro vasquez.
253
00:11:11,942 --> 00:11:15,112
It seems you did not kill me after all.
254
00:11:15,105 --> 00:11:17,275
Uh, no, friday doesn't really help me.
255
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:20,947
I really need to get the wheelchair here tonight.
256
00:11:20,951 --> 00:11:22,951
Well, this thing can walk and talk.
257
00:11:22,953 --> 00:11:24,963
Can't you just stick it on the turnpike
258
00:11:24,955 --> 00:11:26,955
And give it money for tolls? Thank you.
259
00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:28,787
Okay, so you don't get sarcasm.
260
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,789
Could you please just hold it for me,
261
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,421
And i-i promise i will find a way to--
262
00:11:32,422 --> 00:11:35,232
Well, you must be happy.
263
00:11:35,225 --> 00:11:37,795
Um, i'll call you back. Why?
264
00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,768
I just got fired
265
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:42,100
Because you went crying to your boss.
266
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,842
Now i don't have a job.
267
00:11:44,835 --> 00:11:47,835
Oh, man. I'm gonna have to go back to stealing cable
268
00:11:47,838 --> 00:11:50,138
From my neighbor, which i don't feel right about,
269
00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:53,140
All because some little "mode" girl
270
00:11:53,143 --> 00:11:55,123
Wasn't happy with her sandwich.
271
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:58,085
No, look, i wasn't trying to get you fired. I was just--
272
00:11:58,088 --> 00:12:00,988
Yeah, well, nonetheless, you did.
273
00:12:00,991 --> 00:12:04,861
All right, everybody, that's it for me,
274
00:12:04,855 --> 00:12:06,795
But before i go,
275
00:12:06,797 --> 00:12:09,997
There is no such thing as fat-free mayo.
276
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,030
(marc and amanda gasp)
277
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:15,342
There's 125 calories of pure fat per tablespoon,
278
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,305
And i put two in every sandwich.
279
00:12:18,308 --> 00:12:19,308
Ooh!
280
00:12:19,309 --> 00:12:21,309
(gagging)
281
00:12:21,311 --> 00:12:23,311
See you around,
282
00:12:23,313 --> 00:12:25,023
"mode" girl.
283
00:12:25,015 --> 00:12:26,045
(applause)
284
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,176
(marc) nice, betty.
285
00:12:27,177 --> 00:12:29,477
You're finally one of us.
286
00:12:29,479 --> 00:12:32,479
(fanfare playing)
287
00:12:35,425 --> 00:12:37,525
(gasps)
288
00:12:37,527 --> 00:12:38,957
No.
289
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:42,529
No, i'm not one of you.
290
00:12:42,532 --> 00:12:48,542
♪♪♪
291
00:13:01,351 --> 00:13:05,991
(woman speaks indistinctly over p.a.)
292
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,986
Wilhelmina, you didn't have to go to this much trouble.
293
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,989
Well, someone's gotta teach you how to be a woman again.
294
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,292
(sighs) it's so frustrating.
295
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,933
It's like i finally got the sports car i always wanted,
296
00:13:16,927 --> 00:13:18,927
But i forgot how to drive a stick.
297
00:13:18,929 --> 00:13:21,069
Or maybe in this case, it's more like an automatic.
298
00:13:21,071 --> 00:13:23,401
Don't worry. You're not going through this alone.
299
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,413
I'm here. That's what best friends are for.
300
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,405
It's so crazy. I can't remember our friendship.
301
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:30,377
Well, that's why i brought this.
302
00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:33,210
All right, all right. Girls, come on. Off, off.
303
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:37,153
She's a tranny, not a drag queen. Let's go.
304
00:13:37,147 --> 00:13:38,417
(woman) dr. Fishman to radiology.
305
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,388
I have pictures of all kinds of fun
306
00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:42,390
The two of us had the past year.
307
00:13:42,392 --> 00:13:44,592
Maybe it'll jog your memory.
308
00:13:44,594 --> 00:13:45,834
Aww.
309
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,425
(giggles)
310
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,997
Oh, here we are at fashion week,
311
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,900
And that's my birthday. You made me drink
312
00:13:52,903 --> 00:13:54,833
Something called an irish car bomb.
313
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,074
Mm. I had a hangover for the first time in 20 years.
314
00:13:58,068 --> 00:13:59,968
Thank you very much.
315
00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:03,310
Sorry. I guess a bit of alex must have slipped in there.
316
00:14:03,313 --> 00:14:05,983
Oh.
317
00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:09,146
We square dance?
318
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:12,019
Wow. I don't remember any of this.
319
00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:15,092
Oh, uh, apparently, we love to do-si-do.
320
00:14:17,227 --> 00:14:22,127
And here we are... Marching for gay rights.
321
00:14:22,132 --> 00:14:24,032
So are we...
322
00:14:24,034 --> 00:14:26,604
No, no. Just political.
323
00:14:26,596 --> 00:14:29,136
I really have to go. I need to check on your father.
324
00:14:29,139 --> 00:14:31,169
I hope he's gotten out of bed today.
325
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,501
Well, what's wrong? Is he sick?
326
00:14:33,503 --> 00:14:36,183
No, no, no. It's... It's--it's nothing.
327
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,206
Just forget i said anything.
328
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:40,278
Besides, bradford would kill me.
329
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,450
Wilhelmina, you have to tell me.
330
00:14:42,452 --> 00:14:45,092
I mean, we're friends, right?
331
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,017
Best friends.
332
00:14:49,019 --> 00:14:52,059
God. I have missed talking to you.
333
00:14:52,062 --> 00:14:55,472
Look, i'm really worried about your father.
334
00:14:55,465 --> 00:14:58,925
He's been devastated since he postponed his wedding.
335
00:14:58,929 --> 00:15:00,099
What?
336
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,200
He's getting married again? To who?
337
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,602
To your...
338
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,184
Best friend.
339
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:12,239
I'm actually kind of bummed mr. Meade's not my father.
340
00:15:12,242 --> 00:15:14,282
I mean, he is rich and bald.
341
00:15:14,284 --> 00:15:16,994
(gasps) your daddy warbucks fantasy.
342
00:15:16,987 --> 00:15:19,987
I don't know why that's so strong. Okay, can we forget about your father
343
00:15:19,990 --> 00:15:21,450
And focus on your mother
344
00:15:21,451 --> 00:15:23,991
And what being fey sommers' daughter can get us?
345
00:15:23,994 --> 00:15:26,634
And by "us," i mean you, and by "you," i mean me.
346
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:29,956
Think about it-- the invites, the swag.
347
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,030
(gasps) you are right.
348
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:35,072
I am freakin' fey sommers' daughter.
349
00:15:35,065 --> 00:15:37,165
And... Genius idea.
350
00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:38,467
Your coming-out party
351
00:15:38,468 --> 00:15:41,038
Is tonight at the black & white ball.
352
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,011
Yay! (gasps) it is?
353
00:15:43,013 --> 00:15:45,023
It's perfect. This was fey's big event.
354
00:15:45,015 --> 00:15:47,345
Every year, she would arrive in some fabulous red gown
355
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,047
And utter her famous lines...
356
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,050
(imitates fey) "black & white ball?
357
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,282
I guess i didn't get the memo."
358
00:15:54,284 --> 00:15:56,294
I can totally do that.
359
00:15:56,286 --> 00:15:58,286
And when you arrive holding her ugly mutt,
360
00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:00,388
There will be a media feeding frenzy,
361
00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:03,730
And i will be right there to feast on whatever scraps
362
00:16:03,733 --> 00:16:06,543
Are left after they're done with your carcass.
363
00:16:09,739 --> 00:16:12,599
Nope. Too angry.
364
00:16:12,602 --> 00:16:14,202
Calm down, henry.
365
00:16:14,204 --> 00:16:16,514
(cat meows, duck quacks)
366
00:16:16,506 --> 00:16:18,506
(marc) hey, grubstink!
367
00:16:18,508 --> 00:16:20,508
Grubstink! We need our checks early.
368
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:22,510
Yeah, i gotta buy me a red dress, grubstank.
369
00:16:22,512 --> 00:16:24,082
It's grubstick.
370
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:27,164
(pounds desk) grubstick. Got it?
371
00:16:27,157 --> 00:16:30,257
It's one of the oldest and most honored names
372
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:32,990
In dutch history, which loosely translates to,
373
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,032
"he who gives the fairest price for his bricks."
374
00:16:36,026 --> 00:16:38,766
The name is venerated, and i am proud to be a grubstick.
375
00:16:38,768 --> 00:16:40,668
(whimpers)
376
00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:42,770
Did he just get really hot?
377
00:16:42,772 --> 00:16:46,712
I've never been more attracted to anyone in my life.
378
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,406
(dials)
379
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:53,081
Charlie, this is henry.
380
00:16:53,083 --> 00:16:56,093
Call me as soon as you get this. We need to talk.
381
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,344
Hey, justin. How you doing?
382
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,606
Okay.
383
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:23,040
Been having kind of a tough time lately, huh?
384
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:26,152
I guess.
385
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,246
Do you know how to play basketball?
386
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,748
Sure.
387
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:33,519
Back at harvard, they used to call me dr. Swish.
388
00:17:33,523 --> 00:17:35,763
It's just a basketball term.
389
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,385
Why do you ask?
390
00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:40,057
I want to learn how to play.
391
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,729
Really? Basketball?
392
00:17:41,731 --> 00:17:43,391
My dad loved it.
393
00:17:43,393 --> 00:17:45,203
This was his.
394
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,838
Come on.
395
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,070
Let's go shoot some hoops.
396
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,683
Wait. Sandwich guy! Oh, man.
397
00:17:56,676 --> 00:18:00,076
Gio! Look, i'm sorry about what happened today,
398
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:03,179
But i just finished talking to your boss,
399
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,193
And you can have your job back.
400
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,485
Wow. That was... That was nice of you.
401
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,687
See? I'm not a "mode" girl.
402
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,089
A "mode" girl wouldn't have done that.
403
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,361
Yeah, i guess not, but that's okay.
404
00:18:14,364 --> 00:18:16,334
I don't want it back.
405
00:18:16,326 --> 00:18:17,826
Why?
406
00:18:17,827 --> 00:18:19,327
Because losing that job
407
00:18:19,329 --> 00:18:21,329
Was exactly the kick in the butt i needed.
408
00:18:21,331 --> 00:18:23,431
It was taking me away from my 5-year plan.
409
00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:24,833
What's happening in five years?
410
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:28,144
To start my own place, you know?
411
00:18:28,138 --> 00:18:30,838
Gio's sandwich depot.
412
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,180
300 seats, a thousand kinds of sandwiches
413
00:18:33,183 --> 00:18:35,153
And the world's longest condiment bar.
414
00:18:35,145 --> 00:18:37,745
You name it, it's on there. Go ahead. Name one.
415
00:18:37,747 --> 00:18:40,617
Um... Mustard?
416
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,890
Of course there's gonna be mustard there.
417
00:18:42,892 --> 00:18:45,702
Come on. Use your imagination. Sorry. You caught me off guard.
418
00:18:45,695 --> 00:18:47,195
Gio's could be huge.
419
00:18:47,197 --> 00:18:52,527
Look, i don't know why, but i still feel kind of guilty
420
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,332
About getting you fired.
421
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,344
You don't have a job.
422
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:59,866
Well... Something will turn up.
423
00:19:04,874 --> 00:19:05,854
Hey!
424
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,675
(betty) wait!
425
00:19:08,678 --> 00:19:11,748
You have a van. We need a van.
426
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:14,251
Would you drive me to new jersey to pick up a wheelchair?
427
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:16,834
We'd pay you. Sure, i could do that.
428
00:19:16,826 --> 00:19:18,526
Get in.
429
00:19:18,528 --> 00:19:21,628
(clears throat)
430
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,944
Sauerkraut?
431
00:19:26,936 --> 00:19:29,166
Don't embarrass yourself.
432
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,500
My father left my mom for you?
433
00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:35,713
Oh, this memory loss must be frustrating.
434
00:19:35,705 --> 00:19:39,375
Claire is the one that left your father. And you were right there to move in.
435
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,549
Well, it-- it wasn't like that at all.
436
00:19:41,551 --> 00:19:43,711
I was just trying to be there for him--
437
00:19:43,713 --> 00:19:45,763
A shoulder to lean on,
438
00:19:45,755 --> 00:19:48,355
Someone to bring him soup--
439
00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:51,558
And i never could have predicted that we'd fall in love,
440
00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:52,861
But we did.
441
00:19:52,862 --> 00:19:56,972
Well, if he loves you so much, why'd he call off the wedding?
442
00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,426
Because he loves you more.
443
00:19:58,428 --> 00:20:00,928
With the accident and all, he didn't want to upset you.
444
00:20:00,930 --> 00:20:03,600
I just hope his...
445
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:06,313
His heart can take it.
446
00:20:13,243 --> 00:20:15,293
Wilhelmina, wait.
447
00:20:16,986 --> 00:20:20,786
That was quite a beating you gave me all those years ago.
448
00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:23,890
As i remember, it was to protect rosa from one of your beatings.
449
00:20:23,893 --> 00:20:26,563
She was my wife. I had the right.
450
00:20:26,556 --> 00:20:28,856
Get your feet down, you animal! Ay! Aah!
451
00:20:28,858 --> 00:20:31,358
My cook ran away with my wife.
452
00:20:31,361 --> 00:20:33,461
You humiliated me.
453
00:20:33,463 --> 00:20:36,573
The only thing that kept me going through the years
454
00:20:36,566 --> 00:20:42,006
Was the hope that... Maybe one day...
455
00:20:42,011 --> 00:20:44,841
I could have my revenge.
456
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,984
It seems that day has come.
457
00:20:46,976 --> 00:20:49,016
So you want me dead?
458
00:20:49,018 --> 00:20:50,948
Perhaps.
459
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,850
But right now,
460
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,722
I want my flan.
461
00:20:54,724 --> 00:20:56,894
Your flan?
462
00:20:56,886 --> 00:20:58,786
Your best dessert.
463
00:20:58,788 --> 00:21:02,528
Sometimes i wake up, and i miss my wife.
464
00:21:02,532 --> 00:21:04,532
Sometimes i miss my flan.
465
00:21:04,534 --> 00:21:05,844
You're insane.
466
00:21:05,835 --> 00:21:07,865
No.
467
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,367
Just hungry.
468
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,941
You'll make your flan...
469
00:21:13,943 --> 00:21:16,053
Maybe i spare your life.
470
00:21:26,015 --> 00:21:27,755
Now basketball is all in the wrist, justin.
471
00:21:27,757 --> 00:21:30,857
Remember that. All right, you can do this. Let's shoot.
472
00:21:30,860 --> 00:21:33,420
But you're dribbling with one hand, right? Not two. Okay.
473
00:21:33,423 --> 00:21:36,303
All right, so you wanna step off with your left,
474
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,925
Bounce it in with your right, okay?
475
00:21:37,927 --> 00:21:39,897
All right, one handed. Aah!
476
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:42,999
(man) oh, nice, nice. Okay, let's try again.
477
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:45,612
Maybe lose the bracelets, i don't know.
478
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,635
Come on, justin.
479
00:21:47,637 --> 00:21:50,037
We can do this. You just gotta concentrate.
480
00:21:50,039 --> 00:21:52,809
(grunts)
481
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:56,352
(zac efron) ♪ coach said to fake right and break left ♪
482
00:21:56,346 --> 00:21:59,016
♪ watch out for the pick and keep an eye on defense ♪
483
00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:00,888
(daniel) one hand, justin. (justin) i can't.
484
00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:02,990
♪ don't be afraid to shoot the outside "j" ♪
485
00:22:02,992 --> 00:22:04,922
♪ just keep your head in the game ♪
486
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,964
♪ uh, just keep your head in the game ♪
487
00:22:06,956 --> 00:22:09,696
Justin, you have to visualize, okay?
488
00:22:09,699 --> 00:22:12,729
Okay, so line it up and make the shot.
489
00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,902
Left foot. (grunts)
490
00:22:14,904 --> 00:22:17,044
No, no, no. Here, just watch me.
491
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,906
♪ we gotta get, gotta get, get our head in the game ♪
492
00:22:19,909 --> 00:22:21,609
♪ come on, get'cha, get'cha head in the game ♪
493
00:22:21,611 --> 00:22:23,711
♪ we gotta get, gotta get, get our head in the game ♪
494
00:22:23,713 --> 00:22:25,623
♪ gotta get'cha, get'cha head in the game ♪
495
00:22:25,615 --> 00:22:26,975
You can walk?
496
00:22:26,976 --> 00:22:31,016
Uh... Basketball miracle.
497
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:33,450
(toni braxton's "un-break my heart" playing)
498
00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:37,433
♪ un-break my heart ♪
499
00:22:37,427 --> 00:22:40,927
♪ say you love me again ♪
500
00:22:40,930 --> 00:22:42,430
Take it, betty.
501
00:22:42,432 --> 00:22:44,062
Uh, mm...
502
00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:47,943
(off- key) ♪ t-the hurt you caused when you walked ♪ ahem. That's a...
503
00:22:47,937 --> 00:22:50,767
(turns off radio) that's a really hard song to sing.
504
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:53,070
So tell me, if you're not a "mode" girl,
505
00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:55,782
Then why do you work there? It's a great opportunity.
506
00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:58,005
It's gonna open a lot of doors for me.
507
00:22:58,007 --> 00:23:00,477
I want to have a magazine of my own one day.
508
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,680
Ah. How-- how do you do that?
509
00:23:02,682 --> 00:23:05,822
I'm an assistant now, but then i want to be writing for one.
510
00:23:05,815 --> 00:23:07,815
You're a writer? Mm-hmm.
511
00:23:07,817 --> 00:23:10,787
That's cool. What have you written?
512
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,090
A lot.
513
00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:14,791
Actually, i practically ran the queens college newspaper,
514
00:23:14,794 --> 00:23:17,934
But since i've left, the quality has gone way down.
515
00:23:17,927 --> 00:23:20,527
No, i mean lately.
516
00:23:20,530 --> 00:23:22,430
Uh, well... (sighs)
517
00:23:22,432 --> 00:23:25,612
Nothing really, but i do have a lot of ideas.
518
00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:28,435
Good. Keeping it all up there.
519
00:23:28,438 --> 00:23:29,938
That's how hemingway did it.
520
00:23:29,939 --> 00:23:32,579
He was thinking, "what a nice morning,"
521
00:23:32,582 --> 00:23:35,792
And "the sun also rises" just magically appeared on the page.
522
00:23:35,785 --> 00:23:37,585
Are you making fun of me?
523
00:23:37,587 --> 00:23:39,587
No, no, no. I'm sorry. I just, you know,
524
00:23:39,589 --> 00:23:41,689
I hope you're not one of these people
525
00:23:41,691 --> 00:23:44,051
Who just waits for things to happen. No.
526
00:23:44,053 --> 00:23:46,163
I mean, what are you, like, 30 now?
527
00:23:46,155 --> 00:23:48,495
I'm 23.
528
00:23:48,498 --> 00:23:50,998
All right, you know what? I can take care of myself.
529
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,130
How about you worry about driving? Okay?
530
00:23:54,133 --> 00:23:56,013
(toni braxton) ♪ ...you caused ♪
531
00:23:56,005 --> 00:23:58,735
♪ when you walked out of the door ♪
532
00:23:58,738 --> 00:24:02,038
♪ and walked out of my life ♪
533
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:05,721
♪ uncry these tears ♪
534
00:24:05,715 --> 00:24:08,045
(scoffs) you're faking it to meet girls?
535
00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:10,877
It's this one girl. She's my new physical therapist.
536
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,680
She is just-- she's so totally...
537
00:24:13,683 --> 00:24:15,123
Smart.
538
00:24:15,124 --> 00:24:18,034
Look, we don't have to tell your aunt betty, do we?
539
00:24:18,027 --> 00:24:20,957
She already thinks i'm a total screwup.
540
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,560
I promise i will have a total recovery next week,
541
00:24:23,563 --> 00:24:26,503
Just as soon as i've had one,
542
00:24:26,496 --> 00:24:29,566
Uh, really smart conversation with her. Deal?
543
00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:31,869
You're kind of a dog.
544
00:24:31,871 --> 00:24:34,171
I am.
545
00:24:34,173 --> 00:24:36,113
You remind me of my dad.
546
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:43,049
Now this machine has to come back in pristine condition.
547
00:24:43,052 --> 00:24:44,552
You got it? Pristine.
548
00:24:44,554 --> 00:24:46,264
How do i want it back?
549
00:24:46,255 --> 00:24:48,255
Don't worry. It'll be perfect.
550
00:24:48,257 --> 00:24:51,687
(quietly) i think he wanted you to say "pristine."
551
00:24:51,691 --> 00:24:53,591
Pristine.
552
00:24:53,593 --> 00:24:55,093
Now just one second.
553
00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:56,104
This...
554
00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:58,125
This isn't the ibot we reserved.
555
00:24:58,127 --> 00:25:00,127
Yeah. Nick lachey's people just called.
556
00:25:00,129 --> 00:25:03,029
He twisted his ankle in a gyrotonics class.
557
00:25:03,032 --> 00:25:06,742
Probably didn't stretch. Anyway, we're giving it to him.
558
00:25:06,736 --> 00:25:09,806
But... But... My boss wanted the ibot.
559
00:25:09,809 --> 00:25:13,009
Yeah, sad story. You're getting this one. (cell phone rings)
560
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,142
Hello?
561
00:25:14,143 --> 00:25:16,153
But that's not fair. (man) yeah.
562
00:25:16,145 --> 00:25:18,685
We reserved the ibot. We paid for it,
563
00:25:18,688 --> 00:25:22,648
And he's giving us the... Tulip?
564
00:25:22,652 --> 00:25:25,732
Daniel can't ride a tulip.
565
00:25:25,725 --> 00:25:28,625
Give him a good reason to give it to you.
566
00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:30,628
Come on. You're a writer.
567
00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:32,630
Make up a good story.
568
00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,062
(man) we'll deliver it tomorrow.
569
00:25:34,063 --> 00:25:36,143
Excuse me.
570
00:25:36,135 --> 00:25:38,235
Yeah, i'll call you back.
571
00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:39,867
Sir?
572
00:25:39,869 --> 00:25:44,009
Um, look, i probably shouldn't even be talking about this,
573
00:25:44,013 --> 00:25:47,953
But my boss works for the c.i.a.
574
00:25:47,947 --> 00:25:51,277
Yeah, and we really need that chair.
575
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,080
How could he have believed that crazy story?
576
00:25:54,083 --> 00:25:55,593
'Cause it was good.
577
00:25:55,585 --> 00:25:57,685
Well, i may have borrowed a little of it
578
00:25:57,687 --> 00:26:00,187
From "casino royale," but i did put my own spin on it.
579
00:26:00,189 --> 00:26:02,589
Hells yeah, you did.
580
00:26:02,592 --> 00:26:05,062
You know, maybe you are a writer after all.
581
00:26:05,064 --> 00:26:08,044
Thanks. Maybe i am.
582
00:26:08,037 --> 00:26:10,697
(rock 'n' roll music playing)
583
00:26:12,742 --> 00:26:14,072
Wait a minute.
584
00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:15,303
Is this real?
585
00:26:15,304 --> 00:26:18,584
Am i pinning an endangered species here?
586
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:20,677
If you really want to feel bad,
587
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,980
I have a hat made of bald eagle.
588
00:26:22,982 --> 00:26:25,992
(singsongy) guess who just called bradford to her bedside.
589
00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:28,055
Took her long enough.
590
00:26:28,057 --> 00:26:31,057
Looks like she'll be giving her blessing for this wedding
591
00:26:31,060 --> 00:26:32,360
Within the hour.
592
00:26:32,361 --> 00:26:35,121
Perfect. Everything is going according to my plan.
593
00:26:35,124 --> 00:26:37,634
(gasps) soft.
594
00:26:37,627 --> 00:26:39,167
Oh! Hard. What was that for?
595
00:26:39,168 --> 00:26:41,168
Square dancing.
596
00:26:52,782 --> 00:26:55,892
Better than i remember.
597
00:26:59,989 --> 00:27:02,319
Kill him anyway.
598
00:27:04,824 --> 00:27:06,164
(gun cocks)
599
00:27:13,663 --> 00:27:14,963
This one almost went in,
600
00:27:14,964 --> 00:27:17,674
But i touched something gross on the pole.
601
00:27:17,667 --> 00:27:20,067
Wow, honey. Good for you.
602
00:27:20,069 --> 00:27:22,669
So... This basketball thing--
603
00:27:22,672 --> 00:27:25,242
This is something you're gonna be doing for, um,
604
00:27:25,244 --> 00:27:26,954
A little while?
605
00:27:26,946 --> 00:27:28,946
Yeah. I like it, and i think i'm getting better.
606
00:27:28,948 --> 00:27:30,648
(glass shatters) (justin) oh!
607
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:33,319
Yeah, definitely. I can see that.
608
00:27:35,124 --> 00:27:37,134
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
609
00:27:37,126 --> 00:27:41,726
I thought daniel was supposed to be in a wheelchair.
610
00:27:41,731 --> 00:27:43,831
Daniel, it's betty again.
611
00:27:43,833 --> 00:27:46,073
We got you your chair, but it's almost 7:00,
612
00:27:46,065 --> 00:27:48,065
So you're just gonna have to meet us here.
613
00:27:48,067 --> 00:27:49,667
And i've got the lint roller,
614
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,368
So i'll just go over you when you get here. (laughs) man.
615
00:27:52,371 --> 00:27:56,311
What? You know, i think i know the reason why you don't write.
616
00:27:56,305 --> 00:27:59,045
You're too busy de-linting your boss' ass.
617
00:27:59,048 --> 00:28:01,048
See, no. I didn't say the "a" word,
618
00:28:01,050 --> 00:28:03,080
And my job doesn't just consist
619
00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:04,682
Of silly little things like that.
620
00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:07,123
I have some very important responsibilities.
621
00:28:07,116 --> 00:28:09,116
Excuse me. What is that?
622
00:28:09,118 --> 00:28:12,718
That--the check isn't supposed to be that big,
623
00:28:12,722 --> 00:28:14,892
And we asked for it to be blue.
624
00:28:14,894 --> 00:28:17,934
How is that gonna look next to daniel's tiny pale head? (laughs)
625
00:28:17,927 --> 00:28:19,967
Stop laughing at me.
626
00:28:19,969 --> 00:28:22,429
And not that it's any of your business,
627
00:28:22,431 --> 00:28:25,001
But i will get back to my writing.
628
00:28:25,004 --> 00:28:28,184
(gio) i'm sure you will. I will. I just don't have a lot of time right now
629
00:28:28,177 --> 00:28:31,107
Because i'm going through some huge family problems.
630
00:28:31,110 --> 00:28:32,940
Quack. Excuse me?
631
00:28:32,942 --> 00:28:35,992
Every time you make an excuse, i'm gonna quack.
632
00:28:35,985 --> 00:28:39,415
You... You have no right to quack.
633
00:28:39,418 --> 00:28:41,318
You don't know my life.
634
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,350
My dad is stuck in mexico.
635
00:28:43,352 --> 00:28:46,102
Quack. No, seriously, and my sister's fiancé--
636
00:28:46,095 --> 00:28:48,095
Quack. Quack. Will you just let me finish?
637
00:28:48,097 --> 00:28:50,097
Quack. All excuses.
638
00:28:50,099 --> 00:28:52,199
The problem is you don't have a plan.
639
00:28:52,201 --> 00:28:54,201
You go through life-- woof!
640
00:28:54,203 --> 00:28:57,213
What the hell is that? Well, if you're gonna quack, then i'm gonna woof
641
00:28:57,206 --> 00:28:59,436
Every time you mention your stupid plan.
642
00:28:59,438 --> 00:29:01,268
Quack.
643
00:29:01,270 --> 00:29:03,410
No, quacking. That wasn't an excuse.
644
00:29:03,412 --> 00:29:05,412
Yeah, well, i changed the rules.
645
00:29:05,414 --> 00:29:07,124
Quack! Quack!
646
00:29:07,116 --> 00:29:09,116
Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! (cell phone rings)
647
00:29:09,118 --> 00:29:11,118
Quack! Quack! Quack! Your phone's ringing.
648
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:12,020
(ring)
649
00:29:12,021 --> 00:29:15,181
Woof! Hello?
650
00:29:15,184 --> 00:29:18,064
Hilda.
651
00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:20,527
What? He can walk?
652
00:29:24,093 --> 00:29:26,473
(photographers shouting indistinctly)
653
00:29:26,465 --> 00:29:29,965
What's black and white and rich all over?
654
00:29:29,969 --> 00:29:32,139
Why, the guests at "mode's" black & white ball
655
00:29:32,141 --> 00:29:34,441
Benefiting the children's hospital of blah, blah, blah,
656
00:29:34,443 --> 00:29:36,083
Like it matters.
657
00:29:36,075 --> 00:29:38,075
Let's talk about what eva mendes is wearing.
658
00:29:38,077 --> 00:29:39,377
Forget eva mendes.
659
00:29:39,378 --> 00:29:41,548
Is that fey sommers' illegitimate daughter,
660
00:29:41,550 --> 00:29:44,480
Amanda tanen? (mouths words)
661
00:29:51,961 --> 00:29:56,301
Black & white ball? I guess i didn't get the memo.
662
00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:58,095
(woman) is that zac efron?
663
00:29:58,097 --> 00:29:59,227
(man) zac! That is him.
664
00:29:59,228 --> 00:30:01,128
Louder.
665
00:30:01,130 --> 00:30:04,430
(woman) right here! Right here! Right here!
666
00:30:04,433 --> 00:30:06,213
Black & white ball?
667
00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:08,375
I guess i didn't get the memo. (mouths words)
668
00:30:08,377 --> 00:30:12,037
Hey, that's fey sommers'... Dog.
669
00:30:12,041 --> 00:30:13,811
(camera shutter clicks)
670
00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:14,982
Hi.
671
00:30:14,984 --> 00:30:18,394
I'm fey sommers' daughter.
672
00:30:18,387 --> 00:30:21,087
Yeah. Can i get a water? Today.
673
00:30:21,090 --> 00:30:23,320
I didn't get the memo.
674
00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:25,392
Ugh. This is so unfair.
675
00:30:25,394 --> 00:30:28,364
They took pictures of the wrong bitch. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's my fault.
676
00:30:28,357 --> 00:30:30,197
I was naive to think
677
00:30:30,199 --> 00:30:32,929
That the press would automatically care.
678
00:30:32,932 --> 00:30:35,062
You've got to work for your celebrity.
679
00:30:35,064 --> 00:30:36,974
Does paris hilton have everything handed to her?
680
00:30:36,966 --> 00:30:38,266
Well, actually, she does,
681
00:30:38,267 --> 00:30:41,107
But that celeb-utard works hard to stay in the news.
682
00:30:41,110 --> 00:30:43,110
You're right. I have to do something outrageous.
683
00:30:43,112 --> 00:30:45,472
Should i do skanky? 'Cause i could totally do skanky.
684
00:30:45,474 --> 00:30:48,984
What if i just go pee on the carpet? Oh, sweetie, courtney love did that before you got here.
685
00:30:48,978 --> 00:30:52,148
No, it's gotta be bigger. You've got to out-lohan lohan,
686
00:30:52,151 --> 00:30:54,851
Out-britney britney. There's nothing left.
687
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:57,193
Yes, there is.
688
00:30:57,186 --> 00:31:00,026
Oh, my god. Is that josh duhamel?
689
00:31:00,029 --> 00:31:02,859
Where? Josh! (giggles)
690
00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:05,461
Josh!
691
00:31:05,464 --> 00:31:07,204
Josh! (giggles)
692
00:31:07,196 --> 00:31:09,596
(man) hey! (man) whoa!
693
00:31:09,598 --> 00:31:11,198
(amanda gasps)
694
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,500
(camera shutters clicking rapidly)
695
00:31:13,502 --> 00:31:16,112
Yeah. There you go.
696
00:31:19,378 --> 00:31:23,108
(giggling)
697
00:31:23,112 --> 00:31:26,122
(photographers all yelling at once)
698
00:31:37,566 --> 00:31:40,566
(camera shutters clicking)
699
00:31:44,373 --> 00:31:46,683
Michael bolton. Not the good one.
700
00:31:46,675 --> 00:31:49,075
Oh. How are you? Nice to meet you.
701
00:31:49,078 --> 00:31:52,978
Bradford meade, you're engaged to him. Oh, darling. Mm.
702
00:31:52,982 --> 00:31:55,182
Tell me, how's our alexis doing? Everything all right?
703
00:31:55,184 --> 00:31:57,194
It seems someone told her about us.
704
00:31:57,186 --> 00:31:59,186
Oh, i'm--i'm sorry. I didn't want to,
705
00:31:59,188 --> 00:32:00,688
But she's a smart girl,
706
00:32:00,689 --> 00:32:02,689
Even with some of her brain missing.
707
00:32:02,691 --> 00:32:04,191
It's all right.
708
00:32:04,193 --> 00:32:06,203
She's now completely onboard with the wedding.
709
00:32:06,195 --> 00:32:08,095
She is? That's wonderful!
710
00:32:08,097 --> 00:32:09,597
Yeah, i was surprised, too.
711
00:32:09,598 --> 00:32:11,598
She's always been very close to claire.
712
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,430
As long as you're not close to claire. Here.
713
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:16,573
(bradford) i'm not wearing that thing.
714
00:32:16,565 --> 00:32:18,565
This is a bad idea, fish.
715
00:32:18,567 --> 00:32:21,007
I have to see bradford. It's the only way.
716
00:32:21,010 --> 00:32:22,310
Black & white ball, huh?
717
00:32:22,311 --> 00:32:25,011
This looks like an all-white ball to me.
718
00:32:25,014 --> 00:32:26,554
Come on.
719
00:32:26,545 --> 00:32:31,045
Oh! This wheelchair is sexy!
720
00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:34,420
Not to mention, useful for people who can't walk.
721
00:32:34,423 --> 00:32:36,633
I mean, look at this. This is so cool.
722
00:32:36,625 --> 00:32:38,525
Ooh, sorry.
723
00:32:38,527 --> 00:32:40,187
Sorry.
724
00:32:40,189 --> 00:32:42,159
(laughs) this is great.
725
00:32:44,193 --> 00:32:47,703
Hey, daniel, thanks for helping justin out today.
726
00:32:47,696 --> 00:32:51,136
Oh, he's a great kid, you know? Yeah! (laughs)
727
00:32:51,140 --> 00:32:55,140
Oh, sorry. It must have been hard playing basketball without your legs.
728
00:32:55,144 --> 00:32:57,284
Whoa. Sorry. How'd you manage?
729
00:32:57,276 --> 00:33:00,176
Yeah, no, uh, justin was really good.
730
00:33:00,179 --> 00:33:02,609
Betty?
731
00:33:02,611 --> 00:33:05,611
Betty, how do i stop this thing? I don't know.
732
00:33:05,614 --> 00:33:07,194
Whoa!
733
00:33:08,057 --> 00:33:11,017
(wheelchair whirs)
734
00:33:11,020 --> 00:33:13,020
(man) okay, i got it.
735
00:33:13,022 --> 00:33:15,092
Uh...
736
00:33:15,094 --> 00:33:18,134
I forgot. The doctor called. I can walk!
737
00:33:18,127 --> 00:33:21,027
How could you?
738
00:33:21,030 --> 00:33:23,630
Betty, i'm sorry. Come on.
739
00:33:23,632 --> 00:33:26,712
You know, i wasted my entire day trying to get that stupid thing,
740
00:33:26,705 --> 00:33:29,135
All so you could play grab ass? That's right.
741
00:33:29,138 --> 00:33:31,138
That just happened. I said "ass."
742
00:33:31,140 --> 00:33:33,140
I heard you. Do you have any idea
743
00:33:33,142 --> 00:33:35,142
What i could've been doing with that time?
744
00:33:35,144 --> 00:33:37,724
I could've written a short story or--or a whole bunch
745
00:33:37,716 --> 00:33:39,786
Of short stories, depending on how short they were.
746
00:33:39,788 --> 00:33:41,788
Or written in my journal, because i'm pretty sure
747
00:33:41,790 --> 00:33:44,650
My last entry went something like, "i love lance bass.
748
00:33:44,653 --> 00:33:46,663
I want to marry him." i don't know if you've heard--
749
00:33:46,655 --> 00:33:47,655
Yeah, i know!
750
00:33:47,656 --> 00:33:49,526
(cocks gun)
751
00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:51,398
Hector, don't do this.
752
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,760
For 30 years, i thought i killed your father.
753
00:33:53,762 --> 00:33:55,262
It--it tortured me.
754
00:33:55,264 --> 00:33:57,574
Shut up.
755
00:33:57,566 --> 00:34:00,106
Don't become him.
756
00:34:00,109 --> 00:34:01,609
You're not a monster.
757
00:34:01,610 --> 00:34:04,240
He is the way he is because of you.
758
00:34:04,243 --> 00:34:07,053
That's not true. Hector, don't you remember?
759
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,045
You were 5 years old,
760
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,277
And rosa would-- would hide you in the kitchen
761
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,280
When your father was drunk.
762
00:34:13,282 --> 00:34:15,352
No, i don't remember.
763
00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:19,164
I'd make you arroz con leche to keep you from crying,
764
00:34:19,158 --> 00:34:21,758
So he wouldn't hear you and come in and hit you again.
765
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:23,590
Stop it!
766
00:34:23,592 --> 00:34:25,192
Hector...
767
00:34:25,194 --> 00:34:28,244
Rosa cared for you as if you were her own,
768
00:34:28,237 --> 00:34:31,137
But we thought you'd be safe with your mother.
769
00:34:31,140 --> 00:34:32,540
Stop it!
770
00:34:32,541 --> 00:34:35,741
You weren't, were you?
771
00:34:35,744 --> 00:34:37,854
Hector, were you?
772
00:34:37,846 --> 00:34:41,076
(sniffles)
773
00:34:42,811 --> 00:34:45,411
And speaking of honoring genius,
774
00:34:45,414 --> 00:34:47,424
I'd also like to take this moment
775
00:34:47,416 --> 00:34:49,486
To thank one of the biggest philanthropists
776
00:34:49,488 --> 00:34:52,458
In all of fashion-- kenneth cole.
777
00:34:52,461 --> 00:34:54,461
(cheering)
778
00:34:57,196 --> 00:34:59,466
(kenneth) thank you, daniel. Thank you, everybody.
779
00:34:59,468 --> 00:35:01,828
I am so honored to be here,
780
00:35:01,830 --> 00:35:08,310
Associated with such a worthy and important cause.
781
00:35:08,307 --> 00:35:10,177
(lowered voice) what's this for again?
782
00:35:10,179 --> 00:35:12,279
(whispers) uh, new york children's hospital.
783
00:35:12,281 --> 00:35:13,881
(normal voice) right.
784
00:35:13,882 --> 00:35:15,882
Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen.
785
00:35:15,884 --> 00:35:17,394
(cheers and applause)
786
00:35:17,386 --> 00:35:20,146
Are you remembering to take your heart medicine? Claire?
787
00:35:20,149 --> 00:35:23,189
Oh, my god. You're all right. Where have you been?
788
00:35:23,192 --> 00:35:25,692
She been with me, that's where she been, and she is fine.
789
00:35:25,694 --> 00:35:27,904
We got a life now.
790
00:35:27,896 --> 00:35:32,126
Yoga, really, i'd like something chocolate.
791
00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:34,730
(man speaking indistinctly)
792
00:35:34,733 --> 00:35:37,273
It--it-- it's not what you think.
793
00:35:37,266 --> 00:35:40,206
Well, almost once. Claire, this is dangerous.
794
00:35:40,209 --> 00:35:43,169
Someone might see you. I don't care.
795
00:35:45,474 --> 00:35:49,184
Bradford, come with me. Walk out that door right now. Don't do this.
796
00:35:49,178 --> 00:35:51,178
Please, just hear me out.
797
00:35:51,180 --> 00:35:53,550
We can do this. We can disappear.
798
00:35:53,552 --> 00:35:55,822
We still have those offshore accounts.
799
00:35:55,824 --> 00:35:58,594
There's money to live on. A fresh start--
800
00:35:58,587 --> 00:36:01,727
New names, new lives. For god sake, claire, listen to yourself.
801
00:36:01,730 --> 00:36:04,590
I know. I sound crazy.
802
00:36:04,593 --> 00:36:07,603
After everything that's happened, how could i not be?
803
00:36:07,596 --> 00:36:09,696
But, please.
804
00:36:09,698 --> 00:36:11,868
God, i love you,
805
00:36:11,870 --> 00:36:15,200
And i know you love me.
806
00:36:15,204 --> 00:36:16,614
(cheers and applause)
807
00:36:16,605 --> 00:36:21,745
(marc) my god, what that woman will do for an open bar.
808
00:36:21,750 --> 00:36:23,750
Do you want me to call the police?
809
00:36:23,752 --> 00:36:26,262
The police will just put her back in jail.
810
00:36:26,255 --> 00:36:28,915
I know how to really hurt her.
811
00:36:28,917 --> 00:36:30,257
I suffered
812
00:36:30,259 --> 00:36:32,559
Through your relationship with fey for 20 years.
813
00:36:32,561 --> 00:36:35,391
Don't you owe this to me?
814
00:36:35,394 --> 00:36:37,274
(cheers and applause)
815
00:36:37,266 --> 00:36:40,866
And now accepting our donation to new york children's hospital,
816
00:36:40,869 --> 00:36:43,429
Our very own sheldon.
817
00:36:43,432 --> 00:36:44,932
(guests) aww.
818
00:36:44,933 --> 00:36:46,483
Thank you.
819
00:36:48,577 --> 00:36:50,707
The last year has been really hard for--
820
00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:52,839
Isn't that inspirational?
821
00:36:52,841 --> 00:36:53,941
Friends,
822
00:36:53,942 --> 00:36:57,322
I cannot wait another moment to share this with you.
823
00:36:57,316 --> 00:36:59,946
Despite what you may have heard,
824
00:36:59,948 --> 00:37:02,648
The bradford meade- wilhelmina slater wedding
825
00:37:02,651 --> 00:37:04,921
Is back on.
826
00:37:04,923 --> 00:37:09,363
(guests cheering)
827
00:37:09,358 --> 00:37:11,628
Bradford, darling, where are you?
828
00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:14,330
Claire, your life is over.
829
00:37:14,333 --> 00:37:17,973
It ended the day that you murdered fey.
830
00:37:17,966 --> 00:37:20,706
I'm sorry.
831
00:37:20,709 --> 00:37:24,869
(cheering)
832
00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:37,834
Why isn't he dead?
833
00:37:37,826 --> 00:37:40,426
I can't believe you haven't done this yet. Kill him.
834
00:37:40,429 --> 00:37:41,859
Hector. Kill him.
835
00:37:41,860 --> 00:37:43,990
You're such a disappointment as a son. Hector.
836
00:37:43,992 --> 00:37:46,302
Kill him!
837
00:37:46,295 --> 00:37:47,965
(gunshot)
838
00:38:00,479 --> 00:38:01,749
Hey.
839
00:38:01,750 --> 00:38:03,880
I brought you this.
840
00:38:03,882 --> 00:38:06,012
There's a bite out of it.
841
00:38:06,014 --> 00:38:09,294
Okay, i didn't bring it for you, i just thought of it.
842
00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:12,887
The point is, i'm very sorry, betty.
843
00:38:12,891 --> 00:38:15,821
Don't be. I'm your assistant,
844
00:38:15,824 --> 00:38:18,604
And it's my job to do whatever you ask me to,
845
00:38:18,597 --> 00:38:21,067
Even if it is slightly offensive to the handi-capable.
846
00:38:21,069 --> 00:38:23,799
I think that my meltdown
847
00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:27,742
Had a lot more to do with me than you.
848
00:38:27,736 --> 00:38:28,936
I'm sorry.
849
00:38:28,937 --> 00:38:32,707
So we're good. That's great.
850
00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:34,411
Daniel, there's more.
851
00:38:34,413 --> 00:38:38,753
Look, i appreciate this job,
852
00:38:38,747 --> 00:38:41,787
But i can't lose track of what i want.
853
00:38:41,790 --> 00:38:45,890
Are you quitting? No, no, no.
854
00:38:45,894 --> 00:38:50,004
I was just wondering, if you don't need me during lunch,
855
00:38:49,998 --> 00:38:52,028
I'm gonna enroll in a writing class.
856
00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:54,660
Oh, i think that's great, betty.
857
00:38:54,663 --> 00:38:56,103
Really?
858
00:38:56,104 --> 00:38:57,874
Yeah.
859
00:38:57,866 --> 00:38:59,936
Great. I'm gonna be a writer.
860
00:38:59,938 --> 00:39:01,468
Good.
861
00:39:05,644 --> 00:39:07,924
(woman) she's such a slut. I love her.
862
00:39:07,916 --> 00:39:09,616
I know. God.
863
00:39:09,618 --> 00:39:11,778
(speaks indistinctly)
864
00:39:11,780 --> 00:39:14,350
The whole office is talking about you.
865
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:16,352
I know they always do,
866
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,934
But now it's with envy instead of pity and disgust.
867
00:39:18,927 --> 00:39:24,357
And look! That's my foot behind that guy. Aah!
868
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:26,402
Come on. You were a hit last night.
869
00:39:26,395 --> 00:39:27,895
Oh, i know.
870
00:39:27,896 --> 00:39:30,796
The swag, melissa etheridge buying me a domestic beer,
871
00:39:30,799 --> 00:39:32,799
Appearing nude in the tabloids--
872
00:39:32,801 --> 00:39:34,971
I didn't think i'd have it this together until i was 40.
873
00:39:34,973 --> 00:39:36,983
But last night when i was standing naked
874
00:39:36,975 --> 00:39:38,675
On the red carpet,
875
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:40,947
Doing all those poses those guys were shouting out,
876
00:39:40,949 --> 00:39:43,079
I really had time to think, and it hit me--
877
00:39:43,081 --> 00:39:45,111
I'm never gonna get to talk to my mother.
878
00:39:45,113 --> 00:39:49,093
Aw. She's gone, and i have no idea who my father is.
879
00:39:49,087 --> 00:39:51,087
It's like i'm an orphan.
880
00:39:51,089 --> 00:39:54,659
Hey, you are not an orphan.
881
00:39:54,663 --> 00:39:57,003
You've got me...
882
00:39:56,995 --> 00:39:58,695
And you've got halston,
883
00:39:58,697 --> 00:40:01,467
And you've got that creepy guy that saw your picture
884
00:40:01,470 --> 00:40:04,470
And called and asked you to step on his junk in your heels.
885
00:40:04,473 --> 00:40:07,643
And that means a lot, but i need something more.
886
00:40:07,636 --> 00:40:11,776
What could be more important than fame?
887
00:40:11,780 --> 00:40:12,740
Marc,
888
00:40:12,741 --> 00:40:16,081
I need to find my father.
889
00:40:16,084 --> 00:40:18,124
If i don't know where i've come from,
890
00:40:18,116 --> 00:40:20,146
How am i ever gonna know who i am?
891
00:40:20,148 --> 00:40:22,648
(clicks tongue) oh.
892
00:40:28,797 --> 00:40:32,497
"tried it your way-- not terrible. Gio."
893
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:36,203
Betty, hi.
894
00:40:36,204 --> 00:40:37,914
Oh, hey. Hey.
895
00:40:37,906 --> 00:40:40,906
How are you? I heard you had some of hilda's hangover punch.
896
00:40:40,909 --> 00:40:43,569
Yeah, i did. Kind of worked. Hm.
897
00:40:43,572 --> 00:40:46,582
Um, anyway, listen, i-i-i really need to apologize.
898
00:40:46,575 --> 00:40:48,575
No, you don't have to. But--
899
00:40:48,577 --> 00:40:51,147
It's okay. It's not okay. It's shabby and disrespectful,
900
00:40:51,149 --> 00:40:52,919
And i can only say that i will never mix
901
00:40:52,921 --> 00:40:55,481
Wine coolers and my antihistamine again.
902
00:40:55,484 --> 00:40:57,494
That's probably a good idea.
903
00:40:57,486 --> 00:40:59,856
And i wanted you to know that i talked to charlie,
904
00:40:59,858 --> 00:41:01,658
And she admitted everything.
905
00:41:01,660 --> 00:41:03,860
Oh, um...
906
00:41:03,862 --> 00:41:05,192
Who's the father?
907
00:41:05,193 --> 00:41:07,973
Um, we're gonna do a paternity test.
908
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:11,866
Unfortunately, we can't do it until her 14th week, so...
909
00:41:11,870 --> 00:41:13,870
I guess it looks like you and i
910
00:41:13,872 --> 00:41:16,682
Will just have to sit tight and wait.
911
00:41:16,675 --> 00:41:17,975
Yeah, okay.
912
00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:21,846
Uh, then that's what we'll do. We wait.
913
00:41:21,850 --> 00:41:24,250
(elevator bell dings)
914
00:41:24,252 --> 00:41:26,662
Bye.
915
00:41:26,655 --> 00:41:29,015
Hey, uh, do you want to get lunch?
916
00:41:29,017 --> 00:41:30,787
Uh, oh, i can't.
917
00:41:30,789 --> 00:41:33,519
I, um, i have something i have to do,
918
00:41:33,522 --> 00:41:35,562
And it can't wait. Not that i don't want to, i do.
919
00:41:35,564 --> 00:41:38,074
Um, um, but i'll tell you all about it later. Okay.
920
00:41:38,066 --> 00:41:40,226
Okay. Looks like you got your lunch anyway.
921
00:41:40,228 --> 00:41:42,228
Someone get you a present?
922
00:41:42,230 --> 00:41:45,700
Um, n-no. Uh, that's just how they wrap it.
923
00:41:45,704 --> 00:41:47,084
It's a fancy place.
924
00:41:53,612 --> 00:41:55,282
(hilda) creative writing?
925
00:41:55,283 --> 00:41:57,293
Uh-huh. I was really nervous about signing up,
926
00:41:57,285 --> 00:41:59,045
But then i found my lucky troll pen, and i thought,
927
00:41:59,047 --> 00:42:01,047
Hey, this is a good sign.
928
00:42:01,049 --> 00:42:04,049
Oh, betty, you're gonna nail this.
929
00:42:04,052 --> 00:42:06,052
I mean, look at the notes you write me.
930
00:42:06,054 --> 00:42:08,064
They're always so fun. Mira.
931
00:42:08,056 --> 00:42:10,056
"hilda, have a splendiferous day."
932
00:42:10,058 --> 00:42:12,528
(laughs) that's imagination, you know,
933
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:15,600
Because i don't think that's even a word.
934
00:42:19,207 --> 00:42:20,837
Anybody here?
935
00:42:20,839 --> 00:42:22,769
Dad? Papi?
936
00:42:22,771 --> 00:42:24,771
(gasps) aah! Oh, my god!
937
00:42:24,773 --> 00:42:28,123
What are you doing here? Oh, my god. I can't believe you're home.
938
00:42:28,116 --> 00:42:31,146
Grandpa! I thought you were coming back tomorrow.
939
00:42:31,149 --> 00:42:34,849
Oh, are you starving? You want something to eat? No, no, no. Right now this is all i need.
940
00:42:34,853 --> 00:42:36,963
Oh. (laughs)
941
00:42:36,955 --> 00:42:39,625
We missed you. Yeah.
69178
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof