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It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and
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sex on TV.
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But where are those good old-fashioned values on which we
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used to rely?
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Lucky there's a family guy.
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Lucky there's a man who does the things he can do.
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All the things that make us laugh and cry.
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He's a family guy!
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There you are, Peter. Help me hang the stockings.
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Not now, Lois.
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It's time for my favorite holiday movie, Frosty the
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Snowman, where a hero takes a little girl into the woods
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and then brags that he can disappear whenever he wants.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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I must be dreaming, which means nothing's real.
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No, Peter, stop! You're not dreaming!
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Yeah, and why was that your first move?
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The TV's gone. We're cutting the cord. We need money for
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Christmas gifts, so I sold it.
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What? This rageful anger calls for alcohol!
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Where's Brian?
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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What am I supposed to do without a TV? Hang out at the Gap?
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Could you please point me to your blandest shirt?
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But I'm guaranteed to see four other guys wearing before I
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even get to my car.
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Sure, it's right over there.
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Just be careful while you're browsing that you don't lose
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track of which white guy is you.
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Oh, that looks good on me.
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The Gap. The only clothing store named for a taint.
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Located between Vera Wang and the Rocky Mountain Chocolate
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Factory.
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Look, I know this seems like a big change, but we don't
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need a television anymore.
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Yeah, Dad. A single TV console is outdated.
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Everyone just streams now on their individual devices.
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Who is this person who speaks to me as if I needed his
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advice?
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Dad, I'm just trying to bring you into the modern era.
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I see.
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Quiet up there!
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Sorry, just demonstrating I'm still relevant by making a
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very old movie reference.
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Peter, Meg was right. We don't need a TV in the golden age
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of streaming.
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Golden age of streaming?
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Look, my streams are sporadic at best, and last week there
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was blood.
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Can we have one holiday where we don't discuss Dad's rod?
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Besides, all my shows are on network television.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Who cares? It's a lazy formulaic show, and it's not even
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filmed in Chicago.
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Yeah, right. Tell that to the boys putting out a blaze this
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week in the famed Chicago Hills.
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It almost burned down the Chicago Wood sign.
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Peter, stop it. God, you're going in circles like a desert
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vulture.
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Hey, maybe we shouldn't always fly in a circle.
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Sure, and maybe I can also have rough sex with your mother.
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Whoa, come on.
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Well, that's how I feel about your idea.
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We now return to Frosty the Snowman.
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There was indeed some magic in that old silk hat, along
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with duct tape, zip ties, and some very troubling Polaroids.
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See, this is the kind of wholesome stuff I'll miss without
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a TV.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Yeah? Name one good show on streaming.
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Mare of Easttown!
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Fargo! True Detective!
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Broadchurch! That isn't about a person attempting to
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navigate life in a small town in the aftermath of a murder.
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Look, come on, just give streaming a chance.
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Don't you want to watch something where if you miss even a
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second, you're hopelessly confused?
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Yeah, or A Great Premise, which puts a lot of balls in the
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air, followed by a horribly disappointing ending that drops
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all of them.
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And on HBO Max, sometimes after the credits, you can watch
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the actors talk about the show.
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Yeah, I don't just want to see Connie Britton do a good job.
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I want to see Connie Britton talking about the good job she
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just did.
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You know what I'm not hearing, guys?
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Cedric the Entertainer telling a white guy that he doesn't
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walk the right way.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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And you also haven't told me about a single show with
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Sheldon.
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For every program, I want to know, is there a Sheldon, and
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at what stage of life is he?
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He is the perfect dumb guy's version of a smart guy, and I
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demand him on my television.
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All right, I think I see how to untangle this knot.
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Last Tango in Halifax.
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What? You've never heard of tango?
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Well, Anne Reed and Derek Jacoby play Celia and Alan, a
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couple reunited in their 70s after 60 years apart.
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Sarah Lancashire plays Celia's formidable daughter,
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Caroline, in a...
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Ah! Look, guys, I don't like gritty, convoluted television.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Peter, the point of TV isn't joy anymore.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Who the hell wants to watch something happy when you can
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watch Koreans fight to the death?
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Well, I disagree, and I'm not letting Lois get away with
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this, because I miss my shows, like the comedy of
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Black-ish, or those classic New York conversations at the
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beginning of Law and Order.
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Did you see that Aaron Judge baseball hit last night?
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Sure did. Right here in one of our five boroughs.
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Oh, no! I bet you a slice of New York pizza pie he's dead.
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I can't believe you buy milk and bras at the same place.
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God, we're trash.
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Where's the fridge?
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I sold it.
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You get rid of the things I love, I get rid of the things
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you love.
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I also sold that tiny Jewish hat you keep in the bathroom.
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That was my diaphragm.
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Well, Mort's going to have a rough day at Temple.
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Look, just give streaming a shot.
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After all, it can't be any worse than when we went to the
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Florida panhandle.
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This shrimp is delicious.
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Oh, God, my wife's choking.
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Is there a doctor in the house?
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College graduate?
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High school graduate?
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Some high school with vocational degree?
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Well, I guess it's time to try this streaming thing.
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Hey, what's our Netflix password?
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Squirrel Hunter?
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Only the Otis Scenes of Milo and Otis?
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And Thirsty Romanian Coeds! All right!
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We do have some overlap.
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Okay, I guess I'll click Forgot Password.
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Now it's asking me to pick all the stoplights in a picture.
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Pick all the stoplights in a picture.
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A stoplight in front of a movie theater with a marquee
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reading Spotlight.
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This might be a trick.
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All right, what is the first concert you attended?
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Smash Mouth, The Time They Got Bread Thrown At Them.
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Favorite pet?
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Wait, you're not going to write Bartholomew, are you?
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No, I would never do that.
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Bartholomew, Bartholomew, I'm dancing with my favorite dog,
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Bartholomew.
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Kevin James?
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Hi, Peter. You were my last viewer.
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And now that you've gotten rid of network TV, I'm out of a
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job.
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Well, you're a sitcom dad, so if the couch accepts you, you
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can come in.
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Road couch.
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Wow, Kevin James! I can't believe you're here!
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Hey, guys, we got company. No nude wandering.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Wait, Triple F is a no-go?
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Look, I'm here because now that I don't have any viewers or
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a job,
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I need you to take care of me.
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What, is that some kind of rule?
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Of course it is, Lois.
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In network TV, if someone shows up at your door, you have
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to take care of them.
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It's the pilot of most shows.
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Oh, really? Name 50.
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New Girl, Two and a Half Men, Punky Brewster, Perfect
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Strangers,
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Frasier, Will and Grace, Friends, Joey, Home Economics,
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Mom, Dads,
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Cheers, Hope and Faith, Raising Hope, Full House, Fuller
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House, King of Queens...
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That's good. I think we get it.
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Oh, no, no, no. This is a name all 50 kind of show.
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Too Close for Comfort, Mork and Mindy, The Nanny, Mr.
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The United States of Al, Yes, Dear, Down and Out in Beverly
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Hills, the TV series, Rota, Golden Girls, Alf, Migo, Empty
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Nest, Wings,
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My Two Dads, Evening Shade, I Dream of Jeannie, Off Center,
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Webster,
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The Bernie Mac Show, The Return of Jezebel James, Aliens in
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America,
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Last Man on Earth, Union Square, Bram and Alice, The
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Grinder, Bleep My Dad Says,
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Three's Company, Mama's Family and Who's the Boss.
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Oh, yeah? Name 50 more.
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Silver Spoons, The Odd Couple, The New Odd Couple,
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Different Strokes and...
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Oh, my God. She hung herself.
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No, no. That's from Airplane. We do that kind of stuff,
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too. You can stay.
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Family, meet Kevin.
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Wow. I guess black dress shirts aren't just for magicians.
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Peter, you can't just invite him to stay here.
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Come on, Lois.
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When you got rid of the TV, did you really think it
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wouldn't end with me bunking with Kevin James?
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So, Kevin, what's Mandy Patinkin like?
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Uh, I don't know. Never met him.
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I thought you said this guy was a f***ing star.
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Hey, Brian, when are you going to try to impress our
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Hollywood guest with your writerly chops?
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Ah, your mouth's moving. You're already rehearsing it.
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So, Kevin, the Hollywood game can be pretty tough, huh?
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Do you have Hollywood experience?
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Well, actually...
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He sure does. We went out there once, and on day one, Brian
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bit a kulkin.
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Tried to pet him without showing his hand first, and boom,
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finger's gone.
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I need to see the hand. It's how I know he's not an
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aggressor.
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Kevin, I don't understand.
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How can you be out of work?
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You're not just a television actor. You're a movie star.
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Movie star? Come on.
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I mean, I guess Paul Blart did make $200 million on a
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shoestring budget.
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I was the single most bankable comedy actor of the last two
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decades, and the audience score on grown-ups was very
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respectable.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Yeah, but everything I had was because people knew me from
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network TV, and now that's over.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Get a large bowl of popcorn and watch the big game in our
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sports uniforms?
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Uh, Kevin, I think you've only watched sporting events on
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TV shows.
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Nobody calls it the big game or makes a large bowl of
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popcorn.
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[Powered by Dubverse]
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Okay, all right, all right, that's fair.
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All right, look, Kevin can stay for dinner, but then he has
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to leave.
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But he doesn't have anywhere else to go, and this whole
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thing is our fault.
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Come on, look at him.
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He's got no idea what life outside of sitcoms is like.
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I'll tell you what, I'll show him how to be a real, real
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guy, and not just a sitcom real guy, and then he'll be on
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his way.
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Ugh, fine.
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I guess I can't kick someone out on Christmas, but where's
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he going to sleep?
257
00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,240
Don't worry, I got that all figured out.
258
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:56,559
You won't even notice he's there.
259
00:10:56,559 --> 00:11:03,559
[Powered by Dubverse]
260
00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:09,519
Hey, where's Kevin?
261
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:11,799
I thought we were going to show him how regular guys drink.
262
00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:14,545
We are, but he's still adjusting, and he won't enter a room
263
00:11:14,545 --> 00:11:16,360
until his warm-up guy works the crowd.
264
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,360
So where are you folks from? Quahog.
265
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,360
Oh, Quahog.
266
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,919
I'll talk a little slower.
267
00:11:20,919 --> 00:11:22,399
[Powered by Dubverse]
268
00:11:22,399 --> 00:11:23,399
I'm just kidding.
269
00:11:23,399 --> 00:11:25,240
And hey, thank you for your service.
270
00:11:25,399 --> 00:11:27,000
[Powered by Dubverse]
271
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,519
I was talking to the booth, holding you up.
272
00:11:29,519 --> 00:11:31,080
Ah, dammit, he got me again.
273
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,919
Ah, this guy's too quick.
274
00:11:32,919 --> 00:11:36,058
Alright everyone, Kevin's going to be out in a moment, so
275
00:11:36,058 --> 00:11:38,039
remember, he feeds off your energy.
276
00:11:38,039 --> 00:11:40,879
[Powered by Dubverse]
277
00:11:40,879 --> 00:11:44,279
Hi guys, great to see you tonight.
278
00:11:44,279 --> 00:11:47,000
Wait, he couldn't just think of that?
279
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,480
[Powered by Dubverse]
280
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,559
I took the cue cards.
281
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,600
I grabbed him from behind too hard, and now he's not moving.
282
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,993
Hey Kevin, was that lady always pressuring you to join
283
00:12:00,993 --> 00:12:01,570
Scientology?
284
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,080
No, I'm a devout Catholic, and that's even weirder.
285
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,159
Did you know that when unbaptized babies die, they go into
286
00:12:08,159 --> 00:12:11,080
limbo until the Pope said that wasn't a thing anymore?
287
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,600
Yeah, my grandpa went to hell for eating meat on Fridays.
288
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,600
Worth it!
289
00:12:17,639 --> 00:12:22,617
Well, Kevin, it's time to teach you how real blue-collar
290
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,639
guys pay real bills in real life.
291
00:12:25,639 --> 00:12:26,639
See this?
292
00:12:26,639 --> 00:12:29,639
It's a mortgage bill, and this is how it gets paid.
293
00:12:29,639 --> 00:12:31,639
Mr. Pewterschmidt, it's Peter.
294
00:12:31,639 --> 00:12:32,639
Please pay my mortgage.
295
00:12:32,639 --> 00:12:33,639
Dammit, Griffin.
296
00:12:33,639 --> 00:12:34,639
I'm crying, Mr. Pewterschmidt.
297
00:12:34,639 --> 00:12:35,639
I'm crying.
298
00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:36,639
I know you're crying.
299
00:12:36,639 --> 00:12:37,639
Act like a man.
300
00:12:37,639 --> 00:12:38,639
I can't.
301
00:12:38,639 --> 00:12:39,639
I'm not a man.
302
00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:42,023
And if you don't pay it, I'm going to hurt myself and your
303
00:12:42,023 --> 00:12:42,639
grandchildren.
304
00:12:42,639 --> 00:12:43,639
Stop threatening me.
305
00:12:43,639 --> 00:12:44,639
It's not a threat if I do it.
306
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,639
It's not a threat if I do it.
307
00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:47,679
Okay, okay.
308
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:48,679
I'll pay it.
309
00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:49,679
Thank you.
310
00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:52,679
All right, now to show you how to pay a utility bill.
311
00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:55,669
[Powered by Dubverse]
312
00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:57,679
I really messed up, man.
313
00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:02,679
Good news.
314
00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,679
I got my first real job as an actual UPS guy.
315
00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:09,292
They said I was the last non-robot they're ever going to
316
00:13:09,292 --> 00:13:09,679
hire.
317
00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:10,679
That's great, buddy.
318
00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:12,679
You narrowly escaped becoming a realtor.
319
00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:14,679
Hi.
320
00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:15,659
Are you the realtor for this property?
321
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,720
I am.
322
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,874
I blew out my shoulder playing minor league baseball, so
323
00:13:19,874 --> 00:13:20,720
now I do this.
324
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:21,720
Realtors.
325
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,720
Never anyone's plan A.
326
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,386
And I also started dating a woman who looks like she
327
00:13:26,386 --> 00:13:27,720
actually belongs with me.
328
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,720
[Powered by Dubverse]
329
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,720
Wants to know where all the good men are.
330
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:34,720
Integrity only.
331
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,720
I will not cosign alone with the not underlined.
332
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,043
And a picture of her dog that says the only man who's never
333
00:13:41,043 --> 00:13:41,720
lied to me.
334
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:42,720
Oh, this is great.
335
00:13:42,759 --> 00:13:45,759
[Powered by Dubverse]
336
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:46,759
You sure are.
337
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:47,750
[Powered by Dubverse]
338
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:50,941
Nothing's going to stop you in the real world except for
339
00:13:50,941 --> 00:13:52,759
your own cardiovascular system.
340
00:13:52,759 --> 00:13:55,426
Hey, I'm only heavy because Adam Sandler made me gain 60
341
00:13:55,426 --> 00:13:56,759
pounds to be in his movies.
342
00:13:56,759 --> 00:13:58,759
I was Ethel to his Lucy.
343
00:13:58,759 --> 00:14:00,759
Anyway, I owe you, Peter.
344
00:14:00,759 --> 00:14:01,759
[Powered by Dubverse]
345
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,759
Ah! What happened to your hand?
346
00:14:05,759 --> 00:14:06,759
I...
347
00:14:06,759 --> 00:14:07,759
I don't know.
348
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:08,759
[Powered by Dubverse]
349
00:14:08,759 --> 00:14:09,759
It's disappearing.
350
00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:10,799
It's disappearing.
351
00:14:10,799 --> 00:14:12,779
Were you also bit by Brian?
352
00:14:13,799 --> 00:14:14,799
That's the Culkin.
353
00:14:21,799 --> 00:14:22,799
Let me guess.
354
00:14:22,799 --> 00:14:24,799
[Powered by Dubverse]
355
00:14:24,799 --> 00:14:26,799
What? No.
356
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:29,799
[Powered by Dubverse]
357
00:14:29,799 --> 00:14:30,799
False alarm.
358
00:14:30,799 --> 00:14:31,799
Not what I thought.
359
00:14:31,799 --> 00:14:32,799
Aww.
360
00:14:32,799 --> 00:14:35,000
Whenever interns observe, it's because we think you put
361
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:35,799
something in there.
362
00:14:35,799 --> 00:14:36,799
Listen, doctor.
363
00:14:36,799 --> 00:14:38,799
I need you to help my friend, Kevin.
364
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:39,840
Oh, my God.
365
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:40,840
Kevin James.
366
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,840
You know, you owe your career to me.
367
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,840
I'm the doctor who couldn't save John Candy.
368
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:46,840
Doctor, my hand.
369
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,840
It's disappearing, and I don't know what to do.
370
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:51,840
Kevin, your arm.
371
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:52,840
It's getting worse.
372
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:54,840
Hmm.
373
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:55,840
I think I see what's going on here.
374
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,078
Kevin is fading away because streaming has made him
375
00:14:59,078 --> 00:14:59,840
irrelevant.
376
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,839
[Powered by Dubverse]
377
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:02,840
Yes.
378
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,850
Sitcom stars like Kevin clearly need the laughs of a studio
379
00:15:05,850 --> 00:15:07,840
audience, or he may disappear forever.
380
00:15:07,879 --> 00:15:10,072
His hair was disappearing, too, but I assume he took care
381
00:15:10,072 --> 00:15:10,879
of that another way.
382
00:15:10,879 --> 00:15:13,879
Is there someone I can talk to? Ah, there's our guy.
383
00:15:13,879 --> 00:15:14,879
Interns!
384
00:15:18,879 --> 00:15:20,879
Guys, we gotta get Kevin back on TV.
385
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:21,879
So, ideas.
386
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:22,879
Go.
387
00:15:22,879 --> 00:15:25,879
Kevin plays a large robot, and it's called Big Wonder.
388
00:15:25,879 --> 00:15:26,879
Not bad.
389
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:27,879
Not bad.
390
00:15:27,879 --> 00:15:28,870
Okay, what else?
391
00:15:28,879 --> 00:15:34,879
[Powered by Dubverse]
392
00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:38,475
Or he's the seventh in a long line of Kevins for Seventh
393
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:38,919
Kevin.
394
00:15:38,919 --> 00:15:41,596
Yeah, they don't all have to be puns built around the name
395
00:15:41,596 --> 00:15:41,919
Kevin.
396
00:15:41,919 --> 00:15:44,919
Guys, I think we were all laughing at Big Wonder.
397
00:15:44,919 --> 00:15:45,919
[Powered by Dubverse]
398
00:15:45,919 --> 00:15:52,919
[Powered by Dubverse]
399
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:53,919
I have an idea.
400
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:58,919
[Powered by Dubverse]
401
00:15:58,919 --> 00:15:59,919
Yeah, I don't know.
402
00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:00,919
Not sure I see the hook.
403
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,471
And I trick them into washing my car in their bikinis while
404
00:16:04,471 --> 00:16:05,960
I hide in the back seat.
405
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:06,960
Okay, now I love it.
406
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,960
It's not just funny, it's smart.
407
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:13,174
You know, I'm on GoDaddy, and the domain name Big Wonder is
408
00:16:13,174 --> 00:16:13,960
available.
409
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:14,960
Chris, stop pushing this.
410
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:15,959
Oh, really?
411
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,960
Because if Kevin pitched it, you'd put your mouth on him.
412
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:19,960
All right, that's it.
413
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:20,960
You're grounded for life.
414
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,960
Which was also a fat dad sitcom.
415
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,960
Okay, all right, we've made up.
416
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:26,960
I've got an idea.
417
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000
I've got an idea.
418
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,000
Kevin is a baker, and he adopts 12 children.
419
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000
The title writes itself.
420
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,000
Yeah, and the tagline is, he's got muffin to lose.
421
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000
Okay, wow, all right, this is too good for Kevin.
422
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,000
We have to write this now.
423
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,000
You know why he's a baker?
424
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
Because he needs the dough.
425
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000
I love this poster.
426
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,000
I mean, show.
427
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000
Peter, my arm is almost gone now.
428
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:49,960
Oh, God, what are we going to do?
429
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,000
Okay, come on, everyone.
430
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000
[Powered by Dubverse]
431
00:16:54,039 --> 00:16:57,039
And Meg's in the nativity play as the Virgin Mary.
432
00:16:57,039 --> 00:16:58,039
Wait a minute.
433
00:16:58,039 --> 00:16:59,039
The nativity play.
434
00:16:59,039 --> 00:17:03,064
Kevin, I got an idea, and it's my best idea since I put
435
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,039
hockey ice in the kitchen.
436
00:17:05,039 --> 00:17:07,039
Yay, waffles.
437
00:17:09,039 --> 00:17:10,039
Mine.
438
00:17:10,039 --> 00:17:11,039
Hockey house.
439
00:17:15,039 --> 00:17:17,039
Everyone, change of plans.
440
00:17:17,039 --> 00:17:20,072
This year, we're going to do a twist on the usual story of
441
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:23,000
the King of Kings with the King of Queens, Kevin James.
442
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,000
Peter, this isn't going to work.
443
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Sure it will.
444
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000
The doctor said you need live audience laughter.
445
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,000
The conceit is he's a single dad with a baby.
446
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:39,000
The conception may be immaculate, but the diaper sure isn't.
447
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,000
Get off the stage.
448
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000
Network TV is stupid.
449
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,980
Why does Jerry Stiller have such a big chest?
450
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
Peter, my leg.
451
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,000
Come on, guys.
452
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,000
Network TV isn't stupid.
453
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,000
It's... it's...
454
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,000
It's like the Bible.
455
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,000
Sure, the plot doesn't make sense if you think about it.
456
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,000
The characters are a little over the top.
457
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,000
Both tell the same tired stories again and again.
458
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,000
No one ever seems to learn their lesson.
459
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000
And neither ever offers an authentic female point of view.
460
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Oh, if I can add to that...
461
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000
[Powered by Dubverse]
462
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:14,000
But the point is, network TV, it makes you feel good.
463
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,411
And when the rest of life is so exhausting and hard, isn't
464
00:18:17,411 --> 00:18:19,000
that all that's important?
465
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Peter, my other leg.
466
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Yes, Kevin, keep going.
467
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,000
That went well.
468
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:34,000
[Powered by Dubverse]
469
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,000
Oh, that's so funny.
470
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,000
I use Yelp.
471
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,655
Do you think Ben Stiller's chest will pop out like his
472
00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:41,000
dad's?
473
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000
[Powered by Dubverse]
474
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,000
See, isn't this fun?
475
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,929
Everyone laughing together at the same simple thing instead
476
00:18:46,929 --> 00:18:49,894
of all of us on our individual devices watching depressing,
477
00:18:49,894 --> 00:18:51,000
complicated bullcrap?
478
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
We need Kevin James.
479
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,000
And we need network TV.
480
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:59,000
Joy to the world, the Lord is come.
481
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Let earth receive her King.
482
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000
Peter, my limbs.
483
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,000
They're coming back.
484
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000
And that's not all.
485
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000
Look.
486
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
It's old sitcom stars.
487
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
They're coming out of the cornfield.
488
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
They're coming out of the cornfield.
489
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000
[Powered by Dubverse]
490
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,000
Tony Danza, and, uh...
491
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,000
Traylor Howard from Two Guys and a Girl.
492
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000
Yeah, you're not a star.
493
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
You shouldn't be in a cornfield.
494
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,000
But I was also in the later seasons of Monk.
495
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,000
I see.
496
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,000
Now your list of credits includes Castle.
497
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,402
Hi, I'm Les Moonves Chen, and I'm hiding behind my wife's
498
00:19:40,402 --> 00:19:41,000
name now.
499
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,944
Kevin, I'm looking for my own television comeback and
500
00:19:43,944 --> 00:19:47,000
enough power that I can sexually harass doctors again.
501
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,000
And I'm anyone else.
502
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,000
I'll go with you.
503
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,000
And to think I was about to kiss you.
504
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,000
Kevin, let's go make a sitcom.
505
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000
[Powered by Dubverse]
506
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000
I'm gonna be on TV again.
507
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,000
[Powered by Dubverse]
508
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:25,360
[Powered by Dubverse]
509
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:32,132
and that's Baker's dozen we're hoping you say yes or just
510
00:20:32,132 --> 00:20:35,924
roll with it great pitch guys this is exactly the kind of
511
00:20:35,924 --> 00:20:39,609
tagline driven comedy we're looking for really the only
512
00:20:39,609 --> 00:20:43,473
problem is we've already committed to another project big
513
00:20:43,473 --> 00:20:45,303
wonder thank you gentlemen
514
00:20:45,303 --> 00:20:49,400
what he owns the rights to the domain name that's a big
515
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:53,625
deal in our world fine we don't need you we'll take this
516
00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:55,359
down the hall to Scott
517
00:20:55,359 --> 00:21:03,319
Rudin he threw a computer at me he didn't even ask who I was
518
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:38,539
you
35519
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