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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:02,970
Previously on "wrecked"...
Danny, get away from me.
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,672
I'm not gonna leave you.
You're my friend.
3
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,641
I am not your friend!
We are just stuck here together!
4
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:10,878
Did you eat someone
out there?
I was just trying to survive.
5
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:13,323
No one can ever know about this.
They'll think you're a monster.
6
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,387
You just can't stand the idea
of me being in charge.
7
00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,951
In charge of what? You're
playing make-believe here.
8
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:19,953
Steve's gone insane.
I know.
9
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,755
You have to get me
off this island.
10
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,824
What do I do?
What about Owen's boat?
11
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,159
Emma!
What?
12
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,795
Oh, my god.
There she is! Emma!
13
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,498
I'll be fine!
Go back!
I'm sorry!
14
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,666
I got to go back
for Danny.
I'm going with you.
15
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,269
Let's go save this island.
16
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:39,140
Karen: Look!
They're getting away!
17
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:43,177
[ Groans ]
Holy shit!
18
00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:45,012
Oh, my god!
19
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,847
The son of a bitch shot me!
20
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,782
[ Screaming ]
21
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:53,121
No one else leaves my island!
22
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:55,022
Do you hear me?!
23
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,125
No one!!
24
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,526
Todd! Todd!
25
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,195
Step back!
Todd!
26
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:02,630
What are you doing?
27
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,698
I'm protecting
our new life here!
28
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,400
Don't you see?
29
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:07,701
This is it!
30
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,271
It's never gonna get better
than this!
31
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,373
There's nothing for us
out there!
32
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,543
We're home!
33
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,844
[ Panting ] Guys!
34
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,279
I heard a commotion!
35
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:21,549
I wanted to make sure
everyone was okay.
36
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,417
Oh, my god,
I'm out of breath. Hoo!
37
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,719
Whoo, running in the sand
really got me there.
38
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,288
I'm sorry.
39
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:29,790
Listen, I know I said
i wasn't gonna come back,
40
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,525
and yet, here's Danny, right?
41
00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:34,128
I am so sorry, everyone.
42
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:38,065
Oh, Steve has my gun.
43
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,334
[ Dramatic music plays ]
44
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,572
Danny.
45
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,408
Really good to see you, Steve.
How are things?
46
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,942
**
47
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,011
Please don't shoot me.
48
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:57,885
People of the island,
before us swings a traitor.
49
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,253
Any last words?
50
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:00,921
Owen was right about you.
51
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,323
You're a monster.
52
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,392
You're a piece of shit!
53
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,794
There are two types of people
in this world...
54
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,396
People who are good, and...
55
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,864
You know what? Forget it.
Last-word privileges revoked.
56
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,065
This is bullshit!
57
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:14,535
Guys, we don't have to take this
from him.
58
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,737
We can fight back.
59
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:17,971
Danny's right!
60
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,673
Steve should go in the pit.
61
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,041
Careful, Jess.
62
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,243
You shot Todd.
63
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,878
You shoot someone,
you go into the pit.
64
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,980
Those were your rules, Steve.
65
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,449
Grab him!
66
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:33,221
S-seriously, guys?
No one?
67
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,556
[ Mockingly ]
Grab me!
68
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:36,857
[ Laughs ]
69
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,892
Come on, guys!
Oh, come on!
70
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,761
Yeah, okay, real big men
71
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,596
listening to the dick
with the gun!
72
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,764
God!
73
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,366
Get off of me!
Jess, you're next.
74
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,934
You can't do this, Steve!
75
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,770
Chet, Chet, help me!
76
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,071
Help me, Chet!
77
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,907
I know you can hear me,
you stupid hippie!
78
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,509
You know what?
Grab him, too.
79
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:58,011
Wait, what?
I didn't do anything.
You're weird.
80
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,747
But... I can't
go in the pit, man.
81
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,283
I don't... I don't... I don't
care anything about her!
What?!
82
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,685
You want me to throw her
in the pit for you?
Chet!
83
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,455
I'll throw her in the pit
right now, Steve!
Are you insane?
84
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:10,157
Grab him.
You're gonna have to
catch me first, man.
85
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,759
Oh!
They caught me!
86
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,193
Oh, they caught me so fast!
87
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,962
Steve!
Steve!
88
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,473
[ Voice breaking ] Please don't
throw me into the pit!
89
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,966
Please don't throw me
into the pit!
90
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:22,503
**
91
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,641
I thought of the actor's name.
92
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:30,010
It's Billy Zane.
It was Billy Zane, guys.
93
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,545
Oh, my god.
Yeah.
94
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,881
Billy goddamn Zane.
95
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:38,352
**
96
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,489
Should we meeting
out in the open like this?
97
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,024
I mean, we can't be too careful
these days.
98
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,225
It's fine.
99
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,470
We're all just guarding the pit.
100
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,729
Yeah. Who would even
be watching us?
101
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,664
Owen:
What happened here?
102
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,200
I swear to god,
I'm gonna throttle that ginger.
103
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,136
[ Grunts ]
Oh, god! Oh, my abs.
104
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,338
[ Groans ]
105
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,572
You guys, i just saw the pit!
106
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,374
He's got like
a dozen people down there.
107
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:01,809
He's lost his goddamn mind.
108
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,143
Is Danny in there?
And Jess?
109
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,579
This is so messed up.
110
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:09,049
So what are we gonna do?
111
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,327
We need to make these people see
112
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,286
the reality
of the situation, okay?
113
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,754
This is our home now.
114
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,324
And why would we want
to go back anyway, right?
115
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,992
I mean, Karen, you're
vice President of the island!
116
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,594
I would die for you, Steve.
117
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,730
That's what I'm talking about!
118
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,466
And, pack,
you certainly can't go back.
119
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:30,103
You know, 'cause...
Block your ears, Karen.
120
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,339
You ate a guy!
121
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,640
Hey, i know Steve!
122
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,083
Come on, you don't have to
say it out loud!
123
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,309
So what?
She can't hear me.
124
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,678
Look, watch this.
Karen.
125
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:38,979
Karen. Karen.
126
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,280
Karen!
Karen.
127
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,815
Karen!
Karen.
128
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,617
Huh.
See?
129
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,128
All I'm saying
is if you go back home,
130
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,654
you're gonna be treated
like a freak.
131
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,123
I can't go back.
Exactly!
132
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,192
Thank you!
133
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:57,698
Guys, we need to make sure
these people realize the truth.
134
00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:00,267
We're here for good.
135
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,935
Kurt turdhole:
We're saved!
136
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,671
There's a ship!
137
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,439
**
138
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:08,075
[ laughing ]
It's a ship!
139
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,276
We're saved!
140
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,511
We're saved!
141
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:13,046
We're saved!
[ Chuckles ]
142
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,348
[ Chatter ]
143
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:15,916
Did turdhole just say
there's a ship?
144
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,285
Mother of god.
145
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,787
It's a ship.
146
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:25,493
[ Cheering ]
147
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:28,362
Kurt turdhole:
Oh, god! Oh, god!
148
00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,731
Oh, god!
It's a ship!
149
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,200
We're saved!
150
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:36,404
We're saved!
151
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,672
Steve, what should we do?
152
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,408
Sh-should we
get the flare gun?
153
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,242
No. We're not signaling
that ship.
154
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,211
What?
But... Why?
155
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,179
I-it's getting away.
156
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,648
Don't get any ideas.
157
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,150
We're not leaving the island.
158
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,819
**
159
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,754
What are you talking about?
160
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,589
Turdhole, we're not leaving!
161
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,224
Yes.
162
00:05:57,257 --> 00:06:00,561
Yes, we are.
163
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:04,632
I have been pushed around
too much on this island.
164
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,967
I'm sick of living in fear.
165
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,903
We have to do
what's right, Steve.
166
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,440
We are signaling that sh...
167
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,507
[ gunshot ]
168
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,908
[ Gasping ]
169
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,977
Now, where was I?
170
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,812
Oh, that's right.
171
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,748
We're not leaving the island!
172
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,516
Oh, my god.
Did he just kill turdhole?!
173
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,184
All right.
We got to signal the ship.
174
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,453
We got to start a fire.
175
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,254
No, no, no, no!
He's lost his damn mind!
176
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,289
If he sees the smoke,
he might kill someone else!
177
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:33,060
Owen, what do we do?
178
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:38,031
Pack, go and destroy
the flare gun.
179
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,701
Karen and i will wait here
180
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,370
and make sure
no one does anything stupid.
181
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,072
**
182
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,176
Steve: Pack!
Ahh!
183
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,111
The flare gun!
Yeah.
184
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,380
Shit!
185
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,882
Stop looking at me!
186
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,050
**
187
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,219
Okay, I'm gonna go after pack
and get that flare gun.
188
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,221
You guys
help the others.
All right.
189
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,556
Okay.
190
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,357
It's time to drop the hammer
on these idiots.
191
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,559
Let's do th...
192
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:08,028
[ gurgling ]
Oh, my god!
193
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,229
Are you okay?
194
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,398
Yeah.
I'm... I'm fine.
195
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,733
You're bleeding!
196
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,768
Ah, it's nothing.
Look at your love handles.
197
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,604
It's getting crazy infected.
198
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,205
You mean my ab?
Oh, my god.
199
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,940
Uh, no, it's good.
It's good.
Oh, my god.
200
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,374
All right.
I got to go save Jess.
201
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,611
No.
Todd, stop, okay?
202
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,646
You're gonna
get yourself killed.
203
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:29,316
You got to save Jess, all right?
204
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,651
Promise me.
205
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:31,919
I promise.
206
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:36,189
No one deserves
to be thrown in a pit.
207
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:40,160
Damn!
Goose bumpers!
208
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,962
Right?
Yeah,
that sounded hardcore.
209
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,064
Unh!
Okay.
I'm gonna go.
210
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,066
Roger? Roger?
211
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,410
You got to
let us out of here, man.
212
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,937
You're not going anywhere
unless Steve says.
213
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,973
Roger, the boat
is right out there, okay?!
214
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,183
Don't you want to go home
on that boat?!
215
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,009
Look at me.
Look at my face!
216
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,946
I can't go back to the
real world looking like this.
217
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,948
Come on, man.
Your face... your face is fine.
218
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,750
It doesn't look like...
Like sausage.
219
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,151
Don't push me.
220
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,319
I killed a man outside
Tallahassee. I'll do it again.
221
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,188
[ Florence grunts ]
[ Groans ]
222
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,157
Oh, god!
Oh, what the shit?
223
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,393
[ Cheering ]
224
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,928
Okay.
225
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,042
We got to get you guys
the hell out of here. Come on!
226
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,867
Hey, pack.
227
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,068
Get back!
Whoa! Hey.
228
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,269
What are you doing here?
229
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,938
Hey, man,
the boat is leaving, okay?
230
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,616
Come on. Come on,
don't you want to go home?
231
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,277
Buddy, you can't go back there.
232
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,846
You'll be known
as the guy who ate a dude!
233
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,583
Pack! Pack!
Hey. Give me the gun.
234
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,852
I can't.
I can't go back!
235
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,353
Oh, my god!
[ Grunting ]
236
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,090
Oh, god!
I just got a whiff of you. Dang.
237
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,392
Okay, now we just need
to figure out
238
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,928
how to get the gun back
from that crazy motherfu...
239
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:51,198
[ gun cocks ]
[ Gasps ]
240
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,935
Welcome home, Florence.
241
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,872
You can't shoot all of us!
242
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,073
Everybody, run!
243
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,375
Wait!
We're running or not?
244
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,644
Okay!
245
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,478
**
246
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,815
[ gunshots ]
247
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,016
Well, come on, Karen!
248
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,784
Don't just stand there!
Get them!
249
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:13,553
Shit, shit, shit!
250
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,188
**
251
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,725
Owen: Don't you want
to get rescued, huh?
252
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:21,528
Owen, I've done things...
Unspeakable things.
253
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,863
I'm a monster!
254
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,798
[ Laughing ]
Yeah, you are!
255
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:26,399
Hey, buddy, listen to me.
256
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,969
Whatever you did,
it can't be that bad.
257
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,370
I ate a dude!
258
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,072
Holy sh... wow!
259
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,074
Okay, that's a lot to process.
260
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,744
I got to think about that
for a second.
261
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,911
[ Exhales sharply ]
262
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,379
How'd you kill him?
263
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,580
I didn't kill him.
264
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:41,749
He was already dead.
265
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:42,983
I was starving.
266
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,052
Okay, well, that's, you know...
267
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,553
It's whatever.
268
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,855
"Whatever"?
269
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:50,423
Pack,
it's gross that you ate someone,
270
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,926
but, um...
You're not a monster.
271
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,594
Really?
272
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,063
Mm-hmm.
273
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,198
It's totally normal.
274
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:02,069
So, people won't think I'm
insane like... like Steve said?
275
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,370
I don't think so.
276
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,338
In fact,
i think that people like
277
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:08,241
when other people do crazy shit
to survive, you know?
278
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,944
I think they'll probably
make a movie about you.
279
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,245
Right?
280
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,114
Like, "127 hours"...
281
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,783
"Alive," you know?
282
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,084
"The revenant."
283
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,886
Who would play me?
284
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,788
[ Sighs ] Really?
285
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,990
Um... Don cheadle.
286
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:24,958
I love don don cheadle.
287
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,727
Yeah.
He's got
so much range.
288
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:27,928
I know.
Give me the gun.
289
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,597
No.
290
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,600
**
291
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,602
Get out of here.
292
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,904
What are you doing?!
293
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,739
Pack, you can't go home!
294
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,240
And don cheadle?
295
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:43,210
You think the chead is gonna
waste his talent on you?!
296
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,878
[ Dramatic music plays ]
Goodbye, Jerry.
297
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,146
No! No! No!
298
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,815
[ Fire blazes ]
299
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,416
No! No!
300
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,785
What are you doing, pack?!
301
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:54,221
No!! [ Screams ]
302
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:57,791
But I would watch you burn
for 100 years if I could.
303
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,459
[ Music stops ]
304
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,662
I hate you, Jerry!
[ Sobs ]
305
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:07,234
Okay, well, thanks so much
for the, uh, yeah.
306
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,535
[ Music continues ]
Jerry: No!
307
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,146
I'm gonna get rescued,
and I'm gonna go back!
308
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,305
No!
And they're gonna write
a book about me,
309
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,741
and it's gonna be a bestseller.
310
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:16,243
Someone's gonna ghostwrite
the shit out of that book!
311
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,811
No!! [ Groans ]
312
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,856
And don cheadle's gonna do the
movie 'cause the money's right,
313
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,214
and he's gonna win an Oscar.
314
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,250
If you think don cheadle's
gonna play you,
315
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,152
you are living
in the house of lies!
316
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,386
You're done!
317
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,387
No! [ Sobs ]
318
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,422
You're not even a fun ghost!
319
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:30,924
You suck,
you ghost piece of shit.
320
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,159
Ow!!
321
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,094
Why fire?!
Why fire?!
322
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:37,064
Why couldn't you just
let me fade away
323
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,899
like "field of dreams"?
324
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,267
[ Sobbing ]
325
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,202
You sick [Bleep]
326
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,871
[ Panting ]
327
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:47,741
**
328
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,347
I think we lost them.
329
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,516
Karen: Che-e-e-e-t.
330
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,118
[ Gasps ]
331
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,686
[ Gasps ]
332
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,621
That's Karen!
333
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,991
Je-e-e-e-ss!
334
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:07,861
**
335
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,268
Maybe she's gone.
336
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,771
[ Leaves rustling ]
337
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,206
[ Screams ]
338
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,541
Oh, god!
No!
339
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,156
The ship's
getting farther away!
Shut up! No one move!
340
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,283
Hey, Steve.
341
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,685
Owen.
Owen, you came back!
342
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,487
You bet I did, buddy.
343
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,523
The ship's leaving.
You're too late, Owen.
344
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,725
Am I?
He's got
the flare gun!
345
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,994
[ Cheering ]
It's over,
Steve.
346
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:43,030
Once I fire this, we're saved.
347
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:46,299
Oh, god! Ahh!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
348
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,700
You shoot the flare gun,
349
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,702
and I'll blow
his giant head off.
350
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:52,372
Hey, hey!
Let's... let's relax, Steve.
351
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,706
You relax, Steve!
352
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,475
I'm already relaxed!
353
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,877
I'm very relaxed!
354
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:59,212
I'm on a holiday, goddamn it!
355
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:00,713
Well, well, well.
356
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:03,216
Looky what we have here...
357
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:06,053
The powerpuff girl
and her crunchy boy-toy.
358
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,555
It's time
to drag you back to camp.
359
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,824
Karen, please don't kill me!
360
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,625
Please, I'm sorry!
361
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,793
Don't kill me!
362
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:14,995
[ Seagulls squawking ]
363
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,964
Do you want me
to kill her for you?
364
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,598
I'll kill her right now!
365
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,068
Jesus, Chet!
Please!
366
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,136
Karen, why are you doing this?
367
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,973
Why? Respect.
368
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,275
My whole life,
people have laughed at me,
369
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,010
but here...
Here...
370
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:34,614
I'm finally
a vice president... a vp!
371
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,483
Todd:
Hey, dragon bitch!
372
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,086
You want to dance?
373
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,320
Todd.
374
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,255
Todd!
You're alive!
375
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,091
You came back for me!
376
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:47,627
I'm here to say I'm sorry.
377
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,429
I was a dick.
378
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,198
Really?
379
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,332
Yeah.
380
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:57,104
Also...
This boar-snatching bee-otch
381
00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,473
is about to get a big, old,
fat knuckle sandwich,
382
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,042
courtesy of "streaks."
383
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:05,879
Whoo! Finally!
384
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:08,715
I was beginning to think
this was a dickless island.
385
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,083
Oh, no, honey.
386
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:13,620
This island's got
some wee-wee, all right.
387
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:14,922
Yeah!
388
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:18,425
Todd, your stomach!
Six-pack. I'm fine.
389
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,193
Ugh.
You look like shit.
390
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:24,965
So why don't we
make this interesting, huh?
391
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,868
Whoa.
392
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,603
Wow.
Holy moly.
393
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,873
A fair fight, mano a mano.
394
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,775
You're not gonna distract me
395
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,078
with your
surprisingly supple breasts.
396
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,779
Why don't you take a photo?
397
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,281
It'll last longer!
398
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,116
[ Screams ]
399
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,952
[ Groans ]
400
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,886
Put a shirt on, weirdo!
401
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,622
[ Grunting, groaning ]
402
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,291
See, that's the problem.
403
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:54,227
Why is it weird
'cause I'm topless, huh?
404
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,462
[ Groans ]
405
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:59,766
The glass ceiling is made
out of bra straps and nylon!
406
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,468
No!
It's not!
407
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,870
It's made out of glass.
408
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,905
[ Groans ]
Yeah, babe!
409
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:07,207
Whoo!
[ Groans ]
410
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,908
That one was for meat!
411
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:10,143
Ow! Ow!
412
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,345
I felt a little twinge
in the girls.
413
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,014
[ Panting ]
Oh, my god.
414
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,215
Oh, my god!
415
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,883
I think that's a lump!
416
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,718
Huh?
Is that a lump?
417
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,087
Oh, my god.
418
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,697
Oh, Jesus, I'm so sorry.
I mean, there's a lot...
419
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,423
Oh, my god.
420
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,225
Ahh!!
421
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,826
That's my dick!
Oh, no!
Not the dick!
422
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,328
[ Groans ]
423
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:32,865
That's what's called using
your feminine wiles, you pussy!
424
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,035
[ Groans ]
[ Grunts ]
425
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,703
Ohh! Ohh!
426
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:37,904
[ Groans ]
427
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,439
[ Screams ]
428
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,940
Son of a bitch!
429
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,909
I'm gonna gut you like your pig!
430
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,077
[ Groans ]
431
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,513
Get your finger out of my wound!
432
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:48,081
[ Screams ] Ow!
433
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,250
My titties!
Ahh!!
434
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,919
Put it back in!
Chet,
we have to do something!
435
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,122
We can't!
I'm a pacifist!
436
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,589
[ Todd grunting, sobbing ]
437
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:57,790
No way.
438
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,293
**
439
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,395
The pit can't save you now,
Todd.
440
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,364
It's just you, me,
and the jungle!
441
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:05,598
[ Groans ]
442
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,834
Hey, Karen!
443
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:10,037
[ Panting ]
444
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,971
No frickin' way.
445
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:14,341
My driver!
446
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,176
I knew it was out here!
447
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,310
Todd!
448
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,512
You came back for me.
449
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,014
I thought you died.
450
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,449
They can't kill me.
451
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,483
[ Driver thuds ]
452
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,818
I love you,
you little Asian plum.
453
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:29,056
I love you.
Mm.
454
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,957
Put down the flare gun, Owen.
455
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,859
Come on.
Do it for your lover.
456
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,627
Owen, it's okay.
457
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:35,895
Fire it, man.
458
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,997
If he kills me, so be it.
459
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,499
I'll do it!
460
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,534
**
461
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,548
I've already killed turdhole
today.
462
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,939
Don't make me kill again.
463
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,141
Owen, just shoot it.
464
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,409
No, Danny, i can't just...
465
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,811
Owen, it's okay.
Get off the island.
466
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,980
Don't let him hold us hostage.
467
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,949
**
468
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:59,752
"always shoot
your hostage?"
Always shoot
the hostage.
469
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,588
That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
470
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:02,855
What if you kill the hostage?
471
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:06,459
Sometimes,
you got to role the dice.
472
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:10,897
**
473
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:23,009
[ screaming ]
474
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,345
Oh!
475
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,747
Ohh! Freeze!
You're under arrest!
476
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:31,050
[ Groans ]
477
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,052
[ Laughing ]
Yeah!
478
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,755
Oh, dude,
you shot me!
Yeah.
479
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,225
Oh, you shot...
You shot the hostage!
480
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,592
Yeah, like you said.
481
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,104
[ Laughs ] How'd you know
it was gonna work?
482
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,562
I just rolled the dice.
483
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,597
'Cause that's what
i said to you in the jungle!
484
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:47,434
It was a callback!
Aah!
It was a great callback!
485
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,403
Oh, thanks, man!
[ Groans ]
486
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,105
Listen, man,
i just want you to know
487
00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:54,541
I was wrong
about everything.
[ Groans ]
488
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,875
Okay?
You were right.
489
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,277
Okay. [ Groans ]
Yeah.
490
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,045
I didn't know how to let you in.
491
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,114
Well, you're here now.
492
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,515
I love you, bro.
493
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,851
I love you, bro.
Yeah.
494
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:07,354
All right, help me get up.
495
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:08,921
Yeah.
[ Screams ]
496
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,458
God! Ahh!
Oh, that still burns!
497
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:14,127
Well, you got shot in
the leg with a flare
gun. That's gonna hurt.
498
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:17,730
[ Triumphant music plays ]
499
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:36,783
Guys, I'm sorry!
500
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:40,820
I stuffed up, okay?
501
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:44,023
[ Sobs ]
502
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,693
[ Cheering ]
503
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:51,498
Man: Come on!
504
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:57,770
[ Cheering continues ]
505
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,044
Hello!
506
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:08,281
Hey, we're just a couple of
simple south Asian fishermen.
507
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,484
Are you guys the survivors
of lotus airlines flight 816?
508
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,486
You bet your ass we are!
509
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,988
[ Cheering ]
510
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,089
Oh, wow!
511
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:18,658
That is great, great news!
512
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,269
We've been looking for you guys
for a few days.
513
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,395
You have?
Yes, yes!
Well, see...
514
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:25,007
Well, the truth is
we're not actually fisherme...
we're pirates, mother[Bleep]
515
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:27,567
[ Screaming ]
[ Imitates gunfire ]
516
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,836
Mother[Bleep]
[Bleep] mother[Bleep]
hey, whoa,
whoa, whoa!
517
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,347
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What...
What are you doing right now?
518
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,172
What?
Are you serious
right now?
519
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,017
What... what did we talk about?
How many times do we
520
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,685
have to talk about this rule?
When you do that...
come on!
521
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,120
No, when you go dick swinging,
you invite panic!
522
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,146
Come...
okay... no!
You get people all riled up,
523
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,349
and then that's when
we make mistakes!
524
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,026
Look, man, I didn't get
into the pirate game to
be pussyfooting around!
525
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,694
What are you talking...
What pu-pussyfooting?
526
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:46,853
Hey!
527
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,321
What is happening right now?
528
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,856
We... well, uh...
Was it not obvious?
529
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,800
We're here to... oh,
we're here to kidnap you guys.
530
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,025
[ Screaming ]
531
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,694
Well, at least...
Well, just one of you.
532
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,205
Which one of you guys
is Danny Wallace?
533
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,831
Danny,
Danny Wallace?
There he is.
534
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,533
I see you, dawg!
535
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:01,934
[ Both laughing ]
536
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,936
Look at that,
richest boy in the world
537
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,038
slumming it
on some deserted island.
538
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,374
What?
539
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,442
Oh, shit.
540
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,877
You don't know who this is?
541
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,112
His family's worth billions!
542
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,114
Ooh, yeah.
Hey, when your plane went down,
543
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:17,684
this guy's face was
on every TV screen in the world!
544
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,686
And we gonna hold you
for a fatass ransom!
545
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,053
Whoo!
546
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,522
[ Gunfire ]
547
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,358
I am so jazzed! I'm miles
Davis-ing this mother[Bleep]
548
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,703
All right, I'm bringing it down
just so you know.
Danny, seriously,
you need to come with us,
549
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,338
or we're gonna shoot
all your friends otherwise.
We're gonna kill everybody.
550
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:33,900
[ The jam's
"town called malice" plays ]
551
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,168
* better stop dreaming
of the quiet life *
552
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,871
* 'cause it's one
we'll never know *
553
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,040
* and quit running
for that runaway bus *
554
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,042
* 'cause those rosy days
are few *
555
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:48,180
* and stop apologizing
for the things you never done *
556
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,550
* time is short
and life is cruel *
557
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,552
* but it's up to us to change
558
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,554
* this town called malice
559
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,256
* this town called malice
560
00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:00,126
* yeah
37403
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