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1
00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:06,840
Boom. Found one.
2
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,511
[ Grunts ]
3
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,813
You're welcome...
4
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,815
"Kurt... Turdhole?"
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:15,983
What?
Turdhole.
6
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,885
Dude's name is turdhole.
No.
7
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,488
Yeah, right.
[ Laughs ]
8
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,156
Wow.
Yeah.
9
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,492
Maybe it's "turd-olee?"
10
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,735
I don't...
Either way, he's dead.
11
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,104
I would remember meeting
a turd-olee.
12
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:29,430
Okay, we good then?
Can we go back now?
13
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,899
I mean, dude, there's got to be
more luggage out here.
14
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,501
There could be food, medicine.
15
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,369
Condoms.
16
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,505
I didn't even think about that.
17
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,672
Yeah.
Hah!
18
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,040
Let me tell you, pal,
in a month,
19
00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,042
those things
are gonna be rubber gold.
20
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,112
Nobody wants a bunch of
little island bastards
21
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,714
running around with their
umbilical cords still attached.
22
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,882
Or whatever...
right there.
What is that?
23
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:56,724
Dude.
24
00:00:56,757 --> 00:01:00,060
There's no way this bad boy
just landed here.
25
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,062
What are you saying somebody
hid this here?
26
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,198
[ Scoffs ]
Man, look at this lock.
27
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,033
Some kind of future lock.
28
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,702
I mean, it's obvious
that whoever hid this
29
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,538
did not want us to open it.
30
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,274
What do you think's inside?
31
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:14,542
I don't know.
32
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,710
But it looks like
we got ourselves
33
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:20,381
an island... Mystery.
34
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:23,484
**
35
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,253
[ laughs ]
36
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:26,220
Whoo!
I got chills.
37
00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:27,888
Oh, I got goose flesh.
[ Laughs ]
38
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,390
When you said, "island mystery,"
39
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,558
I was like, oh.
Yeah.
40
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,901
And the fact
that it's a future lock.
41
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,661
I mean, I don't even...
So cool.
42
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:37,965
**
43
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:39,767
Well, this is just stupid.
This is stupid.
44
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,670
You're a stupid lock.
45
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:43,737
Damn it.
46
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,473
Tag's been busted off.
47
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,917
We got to get this open.
I think we should just
leave it alone.
48
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,411
You know,
it's locked for a reason.
Are you insane?
49
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,247
Owen, when you go into a store,
what's locked up?
50
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,483
All the good shit.
51
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,985
Guns, booze, the nice deodorant.
52
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,587
For all we know,
it could be all three.
53
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,256
Yeah, or it could be, like,
some drug lord's blood money.
54
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,424
Or cocaine.
55
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,592
Exactly.
56
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:08,262
**
57
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:12,333
**
58
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:13,467
Here we go.
59
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,469
Rich housewife handbag.
60
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,104
Ooh.
Yep. Which means...
61
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,807
Boom!
Painkillers in a ziploc.
62
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,276
Shah!
Always.
63
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,611
What is pack doing?
64
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:27,315
Oh, he said he wanted to feel
the warm glow of a screen.
65
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:30,117
I don't know,
i feel like this is our chance
66
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,387
to unplug from that stuff,
you know?
Technology.
67
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,888
Like, when is the last time
68
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:37,024
you really connected
with someone
69
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,459
on a deeper level?
Found something!
70
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,328
Oh, shut up, what is it?!
71
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,695
Oh, thank you, Jesus.
72
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:42,963
Thank you, Toshiba.
73
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,132
It's a DVD player.
74
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,700
It's got
two hours of battery left,
75
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:48,068
just enough time
to watch a movie.
76
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,470
[ Both squeal ]
What's inside?
77
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,705
Well, it looks like
we are watching...
78
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,040
[ Squeals ]
79
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,310
It's empty.
80
00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,245
[ Sighing ] Oh.
81
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,146
[ Sighs ] Man.
82
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,682
What kind of
monster travels with
an empty DVD player?
83
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,151
Well, so much for that.
No. No.
84
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,987
I need a break from this island.
85
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,389
I need two hours
86
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,824
where I don't think about
food, or water,
87
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:14,595
or the fact that we saw
the most handsome man
in the world possibly,
88
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,697
get smushed to death
by an airplane.
89
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:17,898
Yeah.
90
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,834
Emma, aren't you
tired of creepy Pete
91
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,971
staring at you
every time you bathe?
92
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,941
He's always watching.
Never stops.
93
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,777
And, Florence,
aren't you tired of
94
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,779
wiping your butthole
with a palm frond?
95
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,114
It feels like it's on fire.
96
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,249
Exactly.
97
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,385
This is why we need a break.
98
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:42,222
And that break is some
dumb, mindless movie.
99
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:45,726
All we have to do is find it.
100
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,771
We'll take the bags.
You take the wreckage
on the beach.
101
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,697
Yes, there's the plan.
102
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,032
It's movie night.
Hell, yeah.
103
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,543
[ tom Jones'
"it's not unusual" plays ]
104
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,168
Whoo.
Ahh!
105
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,938
Geez! Man.
106
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,707
Sorry, turdhole.
107
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,242
Whoo!
Opened that one, though.
108
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,954
You're just smashing it.
No one can open this,
no one could open this.
109
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:07,748
[ Both grunting ]
110
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:08,616
Oh.
111
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:09,883
Yeah.
112
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,585
Sick son of a bitch.
113
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:12,953
I'm going to get you open.
114
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,088
* but when I see you
hanging about *
115
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,123
at least hit the lock.
116
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,392
* with anyone
117
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,894
* it's not usual to see me cry *
118
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,330
brother.
Don't spit on it.
119
00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:23,230
I don't care, I hate it.
120
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,098
* I want to die aah!
121
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:26,133
Aah!
122
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,101
* it's not unusual
123
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:31,439
* to go out at any time aah!
124
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:35,809
I have an idea.
125
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,946
Emma: DVDs, DVDs, DVDs.
126
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,256
Florence: God.
What's wrong
with these people?
127
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,315
Glitter...
Lotion.
128
00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:42,916
Dumb bangle...
Lotion.
129
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,585
Loneliest man
on the planet.
Ooh!
130
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,520
Toothbrushes, no case,
disgusting.
Loofah?
131
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:48,622
This isn't even wet.
132
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,491
No one has any DVDs anymore?
133
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:53,160
Everyone's just
streaming everything?
134
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,696
Good for you, netflix, you won.
135
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,007
Ahh! Oh, my god,
oh, my god, oh, my god.
Look, look, look, look.
136
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,433
What? What? What?
137
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:00,634
[ Screams ] Oh, my god.
138
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,370
Is that
a stupid-looking DVD case?
Yeah.
139
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,938
No mix cds, no mix cds,
no mix cds.
140
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,040
What is it?
141
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,776
Huh?
142
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,445
"Dumb and dumber to."
143
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,681
[ Both screaming,
laughing ]
Yes! Yes!
144
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,792
[ Screams ]
This is exactly what we need.
Are you kidding me?
145
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,451
Dumb, loud, stupid fun...
Dumb.
146
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,453
And it's gonna distract us
from the fact
147
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:22,189
that we are all slowly dying
on this hell hole.
148
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:25,659
Uh, wait, my friend.
There's another option.
149
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,194
What?
The day is not done.
150
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,262
Oh, my god.
It is...
151
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:32,800
What is it?
152
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,234
What is it?
153
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:35,436
"Selma."
154
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:40,541
"Selma,"
the Martin Luther King movie?
155
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:45,413
I always meant to see that,
i just...
Yeah, I know, me, too.
156
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,881
It's supposed to be
so moving.
Very powerful.
157
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:48,982
Yeah.
158
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,651
Such an important story.
159
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:51,685
Mm-hmm.
160
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:57,858
I mean, if this is
the la movie we ever watch,
161
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,560
we need to make
the right choice.
162
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,862
Right. Yeah.
So, yeah.
163
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:05,533
Obviously, we should watch...
164
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,443
"Selma."
"Selma."
165
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:18,078
Yes. Movie night
will be "Selma."
166
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:19,947
Good.
167
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,549
Great.
168
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,051
So you want me
to shoot the lock?
169
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:26,019
Yes.
Yes.
170
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,521
Do we know whose case it is?
171
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,690
No,
the tag's busted off.
I don't know, guys.
172
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,559
Kind of seems like
a waste of bullets.
173
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,727
Are you serious?
That's real rich
coming from you.
174
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,162
What is that supposed to mean?
175
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,133
[ Gunshots ]
176
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,869
Well, we ate pretty
damn well that night,
177
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,270
didn't we, guys?
178
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:46,073
Roger got lead poisoning.
Just give me the gun.
179
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,642
Fine. But good luck
shooting off that lock.
180
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,178
[ Gunshot ]
181
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,150
Child's play.
182
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,952
This is very exciting.
183
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,254
[ Chuckles ]
184
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:08,496
Mother of god.
185
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,637
I mean, what kind of freak
186
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,806
packs an entire bag
full of sex toys?
187
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,608
This is f'd up.
Yeah, so f'd.
188
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,009
Yeah, for some reason,
189
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,411
I thought there'd be stuff
in here to help us get home,
190
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,746
not a sex swing.
191
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,748
We need to find out
who this pervert is.
192
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:28,749
What? Why?
193
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:29,950
Because, Danny,
194
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:33,654
you're not packing
"the jackhammer,"
195
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,122
unless you mean business.
196
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:38,025
This guy could be
a full-on sexual deviant.
197
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,660
I mean, think about it.
198
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,505
We don't know anything about
who we're trapped here with.
199
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,163
You know what?
You're right.
200
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,331
We don't.
Thank you.
201
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,999
Now let's go find this freak
202
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,669
before he finds us
sleeping with our mouths open,
203
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,037
or our butts exposed,
204
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,205
and he can plug 'em
with all sorts of things.
205
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,874
No, no, I'm just saying, like,
206
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,619
we really don't know anything
about who we're here with.
207
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:56,977
There could be somebody here
208
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,846
that knows
how to build a raft, right?
209
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,180
There could be an architect here
210
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,450
that could design us
a... Blueprint.
211
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,029
I don't know. The point
is, we should be figuring
out everybody's skills
212
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,555
so we can get home.
213
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,189
What do we do, like a census?
214
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,824
That's a good idea.
Yes.
215
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,560
Census.
Yeah.
216
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,027
That could work.
Yeah.
217
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,696
We ask a few leading questions,
218
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:16,897
dig around a little,
219
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,365
and then when we find
the pervert,
220
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,634
we grab him,
221
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,035
which they'll probably love.
222
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,137
Todd, we're not trying
to find the pervert, okay?
223
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,373
And you are definitely
not part of the census.
224
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:27,708
Oh, yes, I am.
225
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,710
It doesn't matter
who owns these, man.
226
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,878
All right, fine.
227
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,379
If I'm not part of the census,
228
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:35,215
I guess I'll just tell everyone
they're yours.
229
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,850
What?
230
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:40,654
I mean,
it doesn't matter, right?
231
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:41,655
What would you...?
232
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,056
What?
That makes zero sense.
233
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,492
See? See?
You think it's weird.
234
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,727
It's not not weird, dude.
235
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,896
It's very weird.
I'm just... it's not...
236
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,564
Fine, be on the census,
be on it.
237
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:51,832
I don't care, okay?
238
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,634
But it's about
getting us off the island.
239
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,579
Florence:
There's got to be another one.
240
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:56,436
Are you sure you checked it?
241
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:57,905
No luck on my end.
242
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:01,074
Please tell me
you guys found a movie?
243
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,577
We did.
Ahh. You did?
244
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,278
Yeah. Hell, yeah.
245
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,546
[Bleep] You, island.
246
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,915
What are we watching?
247
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,416
Well, we found
"dumb and dumber to."
248
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:10,584
Absolutely. Love it.
249
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,295
Carrey and Daniels
back together cashing checks.
250
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,788
The tongue getting stuck,
you remember that, on the pole?
251
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,757
Mm-hmm.
Ahh!
252
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:17,958
In the first one.
Ahh!
253
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,760
That was
in the first one.
Aah!
254
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,137
Maybe they'll bring that back,
you know?
255
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:24,264
And... Also "Selma."
256
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:27,935
"Selma"?
257
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,139
The critically-acclaimed
civil rights story?
258
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,541
"Selma."
259
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,409
Always meant to see that.
Emma: Of course.
260
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,245
Us, too.
We missed it.
Yeah.
261
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,480
And we're sure there's
only enough charge
262
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:41,381
for one movie?
263
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,483
Just for one.
Just one.
264
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,123
"Selma."
Uh-huh.
265
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:52,292
It's great.
Yep.
266
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,461
Steve, this is something
of a census.
267
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:55,796
It's just to get an idea
268
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,931
of what everyone's skills are
here on the island.
269
00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:01,635
Ask away.
I love a good query.
270
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:02,836
You're a plumber?
271
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,271
Okay.
Wow. That's fantastic.
272
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,139
So then maybe you can help
with what,
273
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,108
like a water collection system,
or...?
274
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,276
Todd: A plumber, huh?
275
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,645
Bet you know a lot about
laying pipe?
276
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,747
Am I right?
277
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,983
Pack, you're a sports agent,
right?
Yeah.
278
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,450
Okay.
Very successful.
279
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:18,986
Do you have
any practical skills?
280
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,154
Is leasing
a brand-new Audi every year
281
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:22,455
a practical skill?
282
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,257
[ Laughs ]
283
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,425
No.
284
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,794
Okay.
285
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,429
Emma, you're obviously
a foot doctor.
Podiatrist.
286
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,331
Yes, you wouldn't call
a gynecologist
287
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,934
a pussy doctor,
would you?
Would you?
288
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,203
No.
289
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:39,306
And why were you
going to Thailand?
290
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,842
Business or pleasure?
Pleasure. Yep.
291
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,210
Just wanted to get away
for a bit.
292
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:46,814
Looking to get a little loose,
a little wild?
293
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:49,382
Yeah. Little bit.
294
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:50,918
Hmm.
295
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,855
Just running it
through the ground?
296
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,056
Filling it up, hmm?
297
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,357
Not going to answer?
298
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,959
Put him at the top of the list.
299
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,361
Of what?
The census.
300
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,031
So why were you guys
going to Thailand?
301
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,508
I thought it was a chance
to reconnect
302
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,034
before she started
at a hospital.
303
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,837
Reconnect, huh?
304
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,238
Oh. Okay.
We're good here.
305
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,473
Okay, buddy.
Let's go.
306
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,175
Jerk.
307
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,444
Hit a nerve.
You're an idiot.
308
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,880
We get it.
Did you get it?
309
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:20,914
Scissors.
Scissors.
310
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,015
That's just...
I got it.
311
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,752
Pack: Sun's going down.
312
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:28,588
Almost time for...
"Selma."
313
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:32,092
Yay.
314
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,496
Uh, wait.
315
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,566
What if we asked
Diane from Toledo
316
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:40,700
what she thought?
317
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,502
Right?
318
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,171
I mean, if she didn't
want to watch,
319
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,672
you know, one of the movies...
320
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,207
Either one.
Right?
321
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,451
I mean,
i guess it would be fine,
322
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:52,079
'cause, you know, she's a...
323
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,480
Uh...
She's a...
324
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:55,415
Film buff?
325
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,950
A film buff? Yes!
Yes!
326
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,852
A strong, powerful film buff.
327
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,854
Lover of the arts.
Yes, she is.
328
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,589
Diane: "Selma."
329
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:03,957
Well, obviously,
330
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,693
that is a very important movie.
331
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,928
Yes.
Necessary.
332
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,496
Vital to our history.
333
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:17,570
Yes, we'd be remiss
if we didn't watch "Selma."
334
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:19,940
Good.
335
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,308
Yep.
Great.
336
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:29,216
Just curious...
What was the other movie?
337
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,218
"Dumb and dumber to."
Jim carrey?
338
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,485
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
339
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,287
Oh, I love him.
340
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,156
He is so funny.
He's a physical comedian.
341
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,557
You can watch him on mute.
342
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,259
Oh, my god, i love Jim carrey.
343
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,828
He's so watchable.
344
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,529
Yeah. Um...
345
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,133
I'll see y'all at "Selma."
346
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,736
Yes, you will.
347
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:53,173
**
348
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,644
Three baristas, one foot doctor,
349
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:01,281
two lifestyle bloggers,
and the founder of "deez nutz,"
350
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,183
which is an app
that lets you see
351
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,853
what you would look like
with other people's pubes.
352
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,254
This island is useless.
353
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,697
We still don't know
who the sex freak is.
354
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,490
How am I supposed to
sleep at night?
355
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,291
Huh?
356
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,026
I'm taking these.
357
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,694
So it's not gonna bother you
358
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,496
that we don't know
who the sex freak is?
359
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,497
Hmm.
360
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,199
I think this is just
gonna have to remain
361
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:22,669
an island mystery.
Pack:
I hate this island!
362
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:26,006
Oh. Hi, guys.
363
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,875
I... Was going
through the stuff,
364
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,776
and, uh, i think this is yours.
365
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:30,978
Oh, my god, my planner.
366
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,180
And no luck
finding your bag, Danny,
367
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,215
but we did find this tag.
368
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,222
Damn it.
Tag's been busted off.
369
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,626
So, uh, I guess
I'll see you guys at "Selma."
370
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,827
Should be, uh...
371
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,229
I don't know.
372
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,966
The suitcase is yours?
373
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,502
I can explain.
374
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:01,174
It's time.
375
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,543
It's time to watch "Selma."
376
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,978
* Selma
377
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,146
* Selma
378
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,814
* gonna watch Selma
379
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,082
* Selma
380
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:10,817
* gonna watch Selma
381
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:11,985
* Selma
382
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,054
* oh, yeah
383
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,322
* Selma
384
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,890
* Selma
385
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:17,891
* Selma
386
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,826
* gonna watch Selma
387
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,827
* Selma
388
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,829
* gonna watch Selma
389
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:23,696
* Selma
390
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,532
* oh, yeah
391
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:28,301
* Selma
392
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,939
about a year ago,
i got into a relationship
393
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,074
with a woman named Becca
from Vietnam.
394
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,676
A vietnamese woman
named Rebecca?
395
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,844
Okay.
396
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,088
We were going to meet
in Thailand,
397
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,423
and that's why
i was super-nervous,
398
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,958
'cause we had only
e-mailed and chatted.
399
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,192
We had never met in person
before.
400
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,018
You never facetimed or skyped,
or...?
401
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,686
No, she always had
a bad connection.
402
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,622
You ever think that maybe
you were getting catfished?
403
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,758
Yeah. Of course.
Okay.
404
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:55,128
But her words were
so sweet and funny and...
405
00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:57,464
I don't know,
i took a chance, you know?
406
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,199
Yeah, there was also a chance
407
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,701
that she was another weird guy
with mutton chops.
408
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,769
Another.
Yeah.
409
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:05,405
But there's a chance
she was real.
410
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,775
You know, there's a chance
that she was really waiting
for me at the airport.
411
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:12,812
I'm sorry if
i took a chance on love.
No, no, oh, my god.
412
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,948
I think it's really sweet,
honestly.
413
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:17,117
I just think
that the weirdness comes
414
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,953
when she asks you to fill
a briefcase with dildos.
415
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,288
She said when I fly over,
416
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,256
I should make sure
to bring enough dong.
417
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,394
Danny, did you ever consider
418
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,462
that maybe she asked you
to bring dong,
419
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:31,598
because that's
the currency of Vietnam?
420
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,434
No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
421
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,236
Dong?
Yeah.
422
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,771
D-o-n-g?
That's not true.
423
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,440
Oh, I'm 1,000% sure that it is.
424
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,743
So if I go to a store,
and I want a pack of smokes,
425
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:44,911
I say, "here's 5 dong"?
426
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,613
I don't know
the exchange rate, but...
427
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,948
So if something's expensive,
it's too much dong?
428
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,718
Yeah.
She was talking about money.
429
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,088
Oh, shit.
[ Chuckles ]
430
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,856
I think it's really sweet
431
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,358
that you followed through,
honestly.
432
00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,993
Come on.
I'm not a sex freak, man.
433
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,761
I swear, this was just
a huge mistake.
434
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,096
Dude, I won't say anything.
435
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,373
If you want, I'll just...
I'll keep it buried.
436
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:05,965
I haven't told anyone
you're not a cop.
437
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,700
Thanks, Owen.
Yeah.
438
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,112
I know that, you know,
if the tables were turned...
439
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,370
Todd: Wait.
440
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,372
[ Grunts ]
441
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,275
Someone here
is a freak and a liar,
442
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,977
and we're not
watching this movie
443
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:19,812
until I find this perv.
444
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:21,314
[ All shouting indistinctly ]
445
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:23,350
Someone packed an arsenal
big enough
446
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,118
to bang this entire island
447
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,320
and we have a right to know who.
448
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,690
We also have a right
to know how this one works.
449
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,635
What is that?
Oh, that's the front.
450
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,161
Todd, why don't we just
let this go?
451
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,039
We don't really have to get
to the bottom of this.
452
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:38,998
Todd, is this what all your
weird questions were about?
453
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,634
Yeah, and I'm looking
right at you two.
454
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,170
Excuse me?
455
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,305
All that talk about
reconnecting in Thailand,
456
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,882
is that what this so for?
Hey, hey, hey.
457
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,408
Sexually, I'm an open book,
458
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,144
and if those were mine,
i would straight-up own it.
459
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,379
Yeah, it's probably Steve's.
460
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:53,213
Me?
461
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,547
Yeah, man, you're divorced,
462
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,416
you're traveling to Thailand
by yourself.
463
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,926
That has like 10-day
[Bleep] tour written
all over it.
464
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,018
10 days?
465
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,487
Well, I'm flattered,
466
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,997
but I've never seen
any of those things before.
467
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,490
How do we know
they're not yours?
468
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,226
Hmm? Why were you and Jess
going to Thailand?
469
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:07,860
Okay, all right,
for your information,
470
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:10,397
Todd was gonna surprise me
with something very special.
471
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,332
Tell him, babe.
Babe, it was a surprise.
472
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,502
Babe, it could still
be a surprise, right here.
473
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,704
Fine. God.
474
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,207
When we got to Thailand,
i was gonna give you...
475
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:27,447
"the hangover 2,"
premium experience movie tour.
476
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,082
What?
477
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:31,418
What? What is that?
Trip of a lifetime.
478
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,020
They take you to all
the "hangover 2" locations,
479
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,688
you have brunch with the monkey.
480
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,057
And Justin bartha
picks you up at the airport.
481
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,726
How much did you even
spend on that?
482
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,361
I don't know,
like three months' salary.
483
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,129
Wow.
484
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,896
Anyway, surprise.
485
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,366
There. I came clean.
486
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,301
Now somebody come clean
about all this.
487
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,569
We could just let this go.
488
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,303
They're mine.
489
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,205
[ All gasp, murmur ]
490
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:53,406
That's gross.
491
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,475
[ All murmur, groan ]
492
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,781
Emma: What?
That's my case
and those are my things.
493
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:05,318
What? Dude, no way.
494
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,620
Ew.
495
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,122
Seriously?
496
00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:11,758
Ew!
497
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,126
Yeah.
498
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,927
Yeah, I'm the sex freak.
499
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:17,161
[ All groan, murmur ]
Ah, you don't
have to say it twice!
500
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,736
I was a pageant prince.
501
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,772
What?
Danny: Hmm?
502
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,440
Yeah, when I was 9 years old,
503
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,442
I was crowned
little Mr. Nevada.
504
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,478
They are beauty pageants
for boys?
505
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:32,812
No, there's not.
506
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,013
And I won.
507
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,615
[ All chuckling ]
Wow. Geez.
508
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,284
I'm just saying...
509
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:41,554
Don't we all have
a sex toy in our suitcase?
510
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,261
I'm not a vegan anymore.
511
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:51,164
I've been sneaking boar
every single night,
512
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:53,766
and that shit is delish.
513
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:54,867
Everybody!
514
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,503
I'm a fraud.
515
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,372
This amazing suit and shirt,
it's off the rack.
516
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:00,807
[ Chuckles ]
517
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,842
I feel like a weight
has been lifted off of me.
518
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:03,843
It feels good.
519
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,612
Kurt: I'm a liar.
520
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:09,816
My last name isn't Smith,
it's turdhole.
521
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:10,717
[ All laugh, murmur ]
522
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,185
Kurt turdhole.
523
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:15,021
I tell people it's "turd-olee"
but it's not.
524
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:16,989
I killed a man
outside Tallahassee.
525
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:17,857
What?
526
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,058
Oh, no.
What?
527
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,860
I told myself it was him or me,
528
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,028
but that's a lie.
529
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:23,363
It was always him.
530
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:24,464
[ All murmuring ]
531
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,233
Okay, let's...
Let's shut this down.
532
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:28,968
I'm not gonna
bite my tongue anymore.
533
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,371
I got to speak my mind.
534
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,039
I don't
want to watch "Selma."
535
00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:34,407
[ All gasp ]
536
00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:36,075
It's too long, and it's not fun,
537
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,710
and we're all just watching it
538
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,046
because we don't want
to seem racist.
That is not true.
539
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,549
[ All talking at once ]
Woman:
I'm ethnic so I'm not...
540
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,016
No, no, no, no, no.
541
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,552
She's right.
542
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,521
I want to watch
"dumb and dumber."
543
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,990
I mean, if this is
the last movie I am
ever going to see,
544
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:54,060
I want to watch those
two crazy white boys,
and I want to laugh...
545
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,771
Ooh, forgive me, Dr. king...
But I want to laugh.
546
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:58,197
Yeah, I want to laugh.
I mean,
if we have forgiveness...
547
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,099
I'm with Diane!
548
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:04,103
[ All chanting
"dumb and dumber to" ]
549
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,938
Wait, so no one cares
550
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:10,410
a freak over here
had this huge bang bag?
551
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:12,011
No one?
552
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,112
Hey, man, thanks.
553
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,247
That meant a lot.
554
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:17,884
Yeah.
Yeah, hey, I took a chance.
555
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:18,917
What?
556
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,721
Because when we were walking,
you said...
557
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,766
Oh, just before the...
yeah, yeah, yeah.
"I took a chance"
558
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,568
it was trying to do,
like, a call...
i lost that. I'm sorry.
559
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,270
It was a callback.
No, it was good,
it was good.
560
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:29,272
It was stupid.
No, no, no, it was good.
It was great.
561
00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:31,030
Yeah?
Yeah, it was cool.
562
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,566
Okay, cool, all right.
All right, let's join.
563
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,534
Okay.
564
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,035
Todd:
Get in the back, freak.
565
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,070
Florence: You're tall.
Get in the back.
566
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,540
[ All speaking at once ]
567
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,575
Careful, no anal beads fall out.
568
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,311
Oh, should I hit "play"?
Yeah.
569
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:49,482
**
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