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1
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,710
WELCOME BACK
TO THE ALIEN AWARDS SHOW.
2
00:00:08,743 --> 00:00:11,813
AND NOW THE AWARD
FOR BEST ALIEN UNIFORM
3
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,514
WORN IN A NON-VIOLENT
MISSION GOES TO--
4
00:00:13,548 --> 00:00:15,950
SALLY, COME ON!
THEY'RE DOING UNIFORMS!
5
00:00:15,984 --> 00:00:17,385
THE PLECTO ALIENS!
6
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,620
OHH!
7
00:00:18,653 --> 00:00:20,354
THE PLECTOS
ARE GETTING EVERYTHING.
8
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:21,990
ACCEPTING ON BEHALF
OF THE PLECTOS
9
00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,457
IS THEIR HIGH COMMANDER...
10
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:24,092
WHERE'S THAT REMOTE?
11
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,093
LIEUTENANT COLONEL ZORGON--
12
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,128
[DICK MUTES HARRY]
13
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,597
DID I MISS
ANYTHING GOOD?
14
00:00:28,630 --> 00:00:31,499
NO, ONLY THE TRIBUTE
TO ALL THE ALIENS
WHO DIED LAST YEAR.
15
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:32,867
OH. ANYWAY,
HOW DO I LOOK?
16
00:00:32,901 --> 00:00:33,968
OH, FANTASTIC.
17
00:00:34,002 --> 00:00:36,571
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, ALBRIGHT'S
CONTROL-TOP PANTYHOSE
18
00:00:36,605 --> 00:00:37,672
REALLY DO THE TRICK.
19
00:00:37,706 --> 00:00:39,173
YOU CAN SAY
THAT AGAIN.
20
00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:40,141
YOU LOOK GREAT.
21
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,876
SIT, SIT. COME ON.
22
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,784
OK, WHAT
THE HELL IS THAT?
23
00:00:49,818 --> 00:00:50,952
IT'S, UH...
24
00:00:50,985 --> 00:00:53,788
IT'S THE TAIL END
OF A PRODUCTION NUMBER.
25
00:00:53,822 --> 00:00:54,522
[DICK UN-MUTES HARRY]
26
00:00:54,555 --> 00:01:00,895
* IT'S THE ALIEN
AWARDS SHOW *
27
00:01:00,929 --> 00:01:05,600
AND NOW, THE AWARD
FOR BEST MISSION
IN A SINGLE-SUN SOLAR SYSTEM.
28
00:01:05,634 --> 00:01:06,601
THIS IS US.
29
00:01:06,635 --> 00:01:09,470
THIS EARTH-BASED CREW
HAS TIRELESSLY CHRONICLED
30
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:12,040
HUMAN FEATS AND FOIBLES
IN CENTRAL OHIO.
31
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,808
OH, MY GOD!
32
00:01:14,609 --> 00:01:15,409
I'LL DO THE THANK-YOUS,
33
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:16,711
THEN YOU STEP IN
AND THANK ME.
34
00:01:16,745 --> 00:01:17,779
THEN I'LL WRAP IT UP
WITH SOME CRAP
35
00:01:17,812 --> 00:01:19,180
ABOUT HOW THIS BELONGS
TO EVERYONE.
36
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,649
OK.
37
00:01:20,682 --> 00:01:24,452
AND THE PROBIE
AWARD GOES TO...
38
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,320
TEAM X!
39
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:28,990
TEAM X?
40
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:30,291
ARE WE TEAM X?
41
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:32,360
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
WE'RE THE COUGARS.
42
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,461
DAMN!
43
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,564
TEAM X IS ON LOCATION
AND UNABLE TO ATTEND.
44
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,265
OH, TURN IT OFF.
45
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:39,167
ACCEPTING ON BEHALF
OF TEAM X
46
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,636
IS SASHINE LITTLEFEATHER--
47
00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:43,271
WHOA! AAH!
48
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:43,905
DID WE WIN?
49
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:44,973
NO.
50
00:01:45,006 --> 00:01:46,407
OH, MAN. GREAT.
51
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,910
SO MUCH FOR THE MISSION
BEING RENEWED NEXT FALL.
52
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:49,944
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
53
00:01:49,978 --> 00:01:51,312
WE'VE GOT BIGGER
PROBLEMS THAN THAT.
54
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,948
THERE ARE OTHER ALIENS
IN CENTRAL OHIO.
55
00:01:53,982 --> 00:01:56,084
HARRY, SALLY,
FIND THIS TEAM X.
56
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,786
I WANT TO KNOW
WHO THEY ARE,
57
00:01:57,819 --> 00:01:58,486
WHAT THEY'RE DOING,
58
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:01,756
AND...WHO THEIR
PUBLICIST IS.
59
00:02:01,790 --> 00:02:03,992
THAT'S A LOT
OF WORK.
WAY TOO HARD.
60
00:02:04,025 --> 00:02:04,893
Dick: HEY!
61
00:02:04,926 --> 00:02:07,428
I THINK YOU'RE
FORGETTING
ONE THING.
62
00:02:08,697 --> 00:02:10,598
COUGAR PRIDE.
63
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,835
Both: COUGAR PRIDE.
64
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:15,503
ALL: [GROWL]
65
00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:55,376
I MUST PUT THESE
PANTYHOSE BACK EXACTLY
WHERE I FOUND THEM,
66
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:58,012
OR MARY WILL GET
SUSPICIOUS.
67
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,316
MISSING A LEG.
COULD BE WORSE.
68
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,852
HERE WE ARE.
69
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,156
WHAT'S THIS?
70
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,624
OH. DEAR MARY.
71
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:14,462
SHE SAVED ALL
THE LOVE LETTERS I SENT HER.
72
00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:17,265
WAIT A MINUTE. I NEVER
SENT HER ANY LOVE LETTERS.
73
00:03:20,101 --> 00:03:22,436
"LOVE, SCOOCHIE."
74
00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:26,107
"LOVE, SCOOCHIE."
75
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:30,711
"MUCH LOVE, SCOOCHIE."
IT'S GETTING WORSE.
76
00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:34,382
WHO IS THIS CURSED SCOOCHIE?
77
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:37,585
AND WHAT IS THIS
WONDERFUL, MANLY SCENT?
78
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,796
MAN, THIS ALIEN HUNTING
IS HARD WORK.
79
00:03:47,829 --> 00:03:50,899
I KNOW. BY NOW,
I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE
ONE GUTTED, SKINNED,
80
00:03:50,932 --> 00:03:52,967
AND MOUNTED ON A WALL.
81
00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:55,269
HARRY, WE'RE NOT
GOING TO KILL THEM.
82
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,671
WELL, YOU CAN'T MOUNT
A LIVE ALIEN ON A WALL,
BECAUSE THEY--
83
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:58,807
HARRY.
84
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,875
LOOK, JUST KEEP
YOUR EYES PEELED
85
00:04:00,909 --> 00:04:03,344
FOR SOMEONE WHO LOOKS
A LITTLE OFF, ALL RIGHT?
86
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:07,215
NOW, LET'S GET
US SOME OF THAT
PRIZE-WINNING FUDGE.
87
00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:10,384
WE ALSO NEED 2 BOXES
OF 5-INCH NAILS
88
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,821
FOR THE BARN RAISING
TOMORROW.
89
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:17,391
OK, THEY LOOK STRANGE.
90
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:18,993
YEAH.
91
00:04:19,027 --> 00:04:20,862
AND THEY CAN
LEVITATE BARNS.
92
00:04:20,895 --> 00:04:22,730
ALL RIGHT,
YOU STAY HERE.
93
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,466
I'M GONNA GO FEEL
IT OUT, ALL RIGHT?
94
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,969
HELLO.
EXCUSE ME, UM...
95
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,170
I COULDN'T
HELP BUT NOTICE
96
00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:33,207
THAT YOU GUYS
LOOK REALLY WEIRD.
97
00:04:33,241 --> 00:04:35,409
WE'RE AMISH.
98
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:38,712
THEY'RE AMISH.
99
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:41,282
YEAH, THEY'RE FROM THE
PLANET AHM.
100
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,151
BINGO!
ALL IN A DAY'S WORK!
101
00:04:43,184 --> 00:04:43,885
TEAM X!
102
00:04:43,918 --> 00:04:44,518
YEAH!
YEAH!
103
00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:45,686
DICK'S GONNA BE SO PROUD.
104
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,420
I KNOW.
105
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:47,655
WAIT..
106
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:51,492
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT WE ARE
SOMEHOW MISREADING THIS
SITUATION?
107
00:04:54,963 --> 00:04:56,330
NO
108
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:05,539
SO THEN WE FOLLOWED THE
TEAM X ALIENS IN THEIR
HORSE AND BUGGIE
109
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:08,809
THE MOST BORING CAR CHASE
IN HISTORY
110
00:05:08,843 --> 00:05:09,911
YUP.
111
00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:13,014
I HAD TO MAKE
ALL THE TIRE-SCREECHING
NOISES MYSELF.
112
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,851
GOOD WORK TEAM. STAY ON IT
113
00:05:16,885 --> 00:05:19,153
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING?
114
00:05:19,187 --> 00:05:20,088
MOPING.
115
00:05:20,121 --> 00:05:23,424
OH THAT'S UNUSUAL.
OH, BIG SURPRISE.
116
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,326
APPARENTLY, ANOTHER
MAN HAS BEEN SENDING
117
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,995
LOVE LETTERS
TO MARY.
118
00:05:27,028 --> 00:05:28,829
A MAN
NAMED SCOOCHIE.
119
00:05:28,863 --> 00:05:30,398
I'M DEVASTATED.
120
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:33,567
OH, GOD.
DICK, PLEASE,
DO NOT FREAK OUT.
121
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:36,137
I MEAN, THERE'S
NO WAY SOME DUMB LETTERS
122
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,572
COULD AFFECT
YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH ALBRIGHT.
123
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:39,607
YEAH.
JUST LOOK AT YOU.
124
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,309
YOU ARE
A HUGE CATCH.
125
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:44,378
HUGE.
126
00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:48,449
THANK YOU, HARRY.
MAYBE I AM OVERREACTING.
127
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,886
I MEAN, JUST LISTEN
TO THIS OVERRIPE SAP:
128
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,188
"THERE IS A FLOWER
INSIDE ME THAT BLOOMS
129
00:05:54,222 --> 00:05:55,990
"IN YOUR FAINTEST
SHADOW.
130
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:59,027
"THERE IS A HEART
THAT BEATS TO LIFE
131
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:02,196
"IN THE ROCKS
AS YOU WALK ABOVE.
132
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:06,935
"THE TREES,
THE GRASS,
THE CHIRPING CICADAS
133
00:06:06,968 --> 00:06:13,707
CALL OUT JOYOUSLY,
COME TO ME.
COME TO ME."
134
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,344
AAH.
135
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:24,352
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO MOVED
136
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:27,121
LISTEN DICK, OH MY GOD
137
00:06:27,155 --> 00:06:31,692
I'VE NEVER EVEN MET THIS GUY
BUT I WOULD MARRY HIM IN A
NEW YORK MINUTE
138
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:35,863
I KNOW EVEN I'M SMITTENED.
139
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,165
READ US ANOTHER ONE DICK
140
00:06:37,198 --> 00:06:39,067
YEAH
141
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:41,735
GATHER AROUND, I'LL
READ THEM ALL.
142
00:06:45,173 --> 00:06:46,107
YES?
143
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:48,476
OH, HEY.
WE'RE SALLY
AND HARRY.
144
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:49,843
THE COUGARS.
145
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:52,146
UH, AND WE JUST WANTED
TO CONGRATULATE YOU
146
00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:54,815
ON TAKING HOME
ALL THAT HARDWARE
THE OTHER NIGHT.
147
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:58,819
YES, I'M PLEASED
TO FINALLY HAVE
A GALVANIZED MILKING MACHINE.
148
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,621
I THOUGHT IT
WAS CALLED THE PROBIE,
149
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:01,889
BUT WHATEVER.
150
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,924
LOOK, YOU'RE WINNERS.
WE'RE LOSERS.
151
00:07:03,958 --> 00:07:06,560
YOU GUYS CLEARLY HAVE
THE SUPERIOR MISSION.
152
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,862
YEAH, WE'RE
HERE TO LEARN
YOUR WAY.
153
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,164
WHO IS IT, FATHER?
154
00:07:10,198 --> 00:07:11,765
OUTSIDERS, PRUDENCE.
155
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,602
WELL,
HELLO THERE.
156
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,070
THOU.
157
00:07:16,104 --> 00:07:17,305
OTHERS HAVE
COME TO US
158
00:07:17,338 --> 00:07:18,506
AND ASKED TO BE
SHOWN OUR WAYS,
159
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,274
BUT THEY
LACKED THE WILL.
160
00:07:20,308 --> 00:07:23,611
OH, HEY.
WE GOT GREAT
STAMINA.
161
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:26,047
FATHER, IT IS
HARVEST TIME.
162
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,750
I SUPPOSE IN YEARS
PAST WE HAVE TAKEN
ON EXTRA HANDS.
163
00:07:31,119 --> 00:07:33,487
EXTRA HANDS?
164
00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,956
OK. THAT WE'VE
GOT TO SEE.
165
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,728
OH, GOOD MORNING,
DR. SOLOMON.
166
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:43,097
FAT LOT YOU KNOW.
167
00:07:43,131 --> 00:07:46,634
OR SHOULD I SAY,
FAT LOT YOU KNOW, SCOOCHIE?
168
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:50,371
MIND YOUR OWN
BUSINESS.
169
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,705
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
170
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:54,042
ONE DAY, THERE'S GOING
TO BE SOMETHING CALLED
A COMPETENCY HEARING,
171
00:07:54,075 --> 00:07:55,209
AND I WANT
TO BE PREPARED.
172
00:07:55,243 --> 00:07:56,277
WELL...
173
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,978
SO DO I.
174
00:07:58,012 --> 00:08:00,581
DO I HAVE
TO STUDY FOR IT?
175
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,417
MORNING, DICK.
176
00:08:03,451 --> 00:08:06,120
MARY, YESTERDAY, I WENT
THROUGH YOUR THINGS,
177
00:08:06,154 --> 00:08:08,022
AND I FOUND
THE SCOOCHIE LETTERS.
178
00:08:08,056 --> 00:08:11,525
SOMEONE HAS SOME
EXPLAINING TO DO.
179
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,894
YOU WENT THROUGH MY THINGS?
180
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,264
THAT PART
DOESN'T NEED EXPLAINING.
181
00:08:16,297 --> 00:08:20,801
HOW DARE YOU KEEP
LOVE LETTERS FROM
ANOTHER MAN! THAT PART.
182
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:26,040
FRANKLY, DICK, I'M RELIEVED.
183
00:08:26,074 --> 00:08:27,675
WHO IS SCOOCHIE?
184
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:28,542
I DON'T KNOW.
185
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,743
OH, YOU DON'T KNOW.
186
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:32,012
I SWEAR,
I'VE NEVER MET HIM.
187
00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:34,348
I STARTED GETTING
THESE LETTERS
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO.
188
00:08:34,382 --> 00:08:36,384
HE'S PROBABLY
AN OLD STUDENT WITH A CRUSH.
189
00:08:36,417 --> 00:08:40,721
NO STUDENT
FROM OUR COLLEGE
COULD WRITE THAT WELL.
190
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:41,922
I KNOW.
191
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,457
I THOUGHT ABOUT
THROWING THEM OUT,
192
00:08:43,491 --> 00:08:46,960
BUT NOBODY'S EVER SAID
SUCH BEAUTIFUL THINGS
ABOUT ME.
193
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:49,863
MARY, IT'S EASY
FOR SOME STRANGER
TO SAY NICE THINGS.
194
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,833
THEY DON'T KNOW YOU
LIKE I DO.
195
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,271
THANKS.
196
00:08:57,305 --> 00:08:59,340
I FELT GUILTY ABOUT
HIDING THEM FROM YOU,
197
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,442
BUT THEY'RE KIND OF EXCITING.
198
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:04,878
WHERE IS YOUR HEAD?
YOU KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT THIS SCOOCHIE.
199
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:09,683
ONLY THAT HE
IS AN EXTREMELY SENSITIVE,
INCREDIBLY ROMANTIC MAN
200
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:11,219
WHO MAKES ME FEEL SPECIAL.
201
00:09:11,252 --> 00:09:14,555
FEEL SPECIAL.
THAT IS SO RIDIC--
202
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:18,859
NO IDEA WHO HE IS?
203
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,094
NONE.
204
00:09:20,128 --> 00:09:21,929
NO IDEA WHATSOEVER?
205
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,063
NONE WHATSOEVER.
206
00:09:23,097 --> 00:09:24,932
MARY...
207
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:29,870
I AM SCOOCHIE.
208
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,216
YOU KNOW,
ANNABET, I LOVE
THESE OUTFITS.
209
00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:44,852
BUT AS
A PRACTICAL MATTER,
210
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:49,157
HOW DO YOU
TELL WHO HAS
THE BIGGEST BOOBS?
211
00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:52,460
SALLY, WE ARE NOT
CONCERNED WITH SUCH THINGS.
212
00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:53,761
OH.
213
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,497
GUESS I KNOW
WHAT YOU GOT.
214
00:09:58,399 --> 00:10:01,835
AH. BOY HOWDY,
AM I TIRED.
215
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,738
BUT IT'S A GOOD TIRED.
216
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:05,906
'CAUSE WITH WORK
LIKE THIS,
217
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,142
IT MAKES YOU
FEEL LIKE YOU REALLY
ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING.
218
00:10:08,176 --> 00:10:09,343
BROTHER HARRY,
YOU SOUND LIKE
219
00:10:09,377 --> 00:10:11,379
YOU PLOWED THE ENTIRE
SOUTH FIELD.
220
00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:14,415
NO, BUT HE FINALLY
GOT BOTH BOOTS ON.
221
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:18,186
YEAH, I TELL YOU
I WAS RACING THE SUN.
222
00:10:18,219 --> 00:10:19,520
I HOPE YOU'RE
HUNGRY, HARRY.
223
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,222
WE SET A MIGHTY TABLE.
224
00:10:21,255 --> 00:10:22,590
MMM.
I KNOW.
225
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:26,460
I SAW ONE OF YOUR FORKS
OUT THERE IN THE BARN.
226
00:10:27,595 --> 00:10:29,763
Annabet:
SUPPER IS READY.
LET US GATHER.
227
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,965
ALL RIGHT!
228
00:10:50,284 --> 00:10:52,686
HARRY, SALLY,
NOW THAT YOU'VE
SEEN SOMETHING
229
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,222
OF OUR WAY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
230
00:10:54,255 --> 00:10:56,357
UH, WELL...
231
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,626
HONESTLY, UH,
YOU GUYS COULD DO
232
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:00,160
A BETTER JOB
BLENDING IN.
233
00:11:00,194 --> 00:11:02,196
RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE
SORT OF SCREAMING,
234
00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:04,164
"WE'RE DIFFERENT."
235
00:11:04,198 --> 00:11:06,767
WE BELIEVE IT'S BEST
NOT TO FIT IN.
236
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,568
HUH?
237
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,136
WE REMAIN APART
FROM SOCIETY
238
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,538
SO WE DON'T
LOSE OURSELVES
239
00:11:10,571 --> 00:11:13,674
AND FORGET WHY WE
WERE PLACED ON EARTH.
240
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:16,377
OH, MY GOD, HARRY.
241
00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:18,279
THAT'S WHAT
HAPPENED TO US.
242
00:11:18,312 --> 00:11:20,548
WE BLENDED IN
TOO MUCH.
243
00:11:20,581 --> 00:11:24,885
YEAH,
LIKE CREAMY FRAPPUCINOS.
244
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:25,853
WHAT'S
A FRAPPUCINO?
245
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,187
OH, I'LL SHOW YOU.
246
00:11:27,221 --> 00:11:28,956
ANNABET.
2 FRAPPUCINOS.
247
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,324
OH, NO.
MAKE THAT 3, BABE.
248
00:11:30,358 --> 00:11:31,759
3 FRAPPUCINOS.
249
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,627
COME ON. WHAT,
AM I SPEAKING CHINESE?
250
00:11:33,661 --> 00:11:35,596
LET'S MOVE.
251
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,635
WELL, MARY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE SLIP BACK
252
00:11:41,669 --> 00:11:44,238
INTO THE TUB
AND GET DIRTY?
253
00:11:44,272 --> 00:11:46,440
HA HA HA.
254
00:11:46,474 --> 00:11:47,975
I HAVEN'T HAD
THIS MANY SHOWERS
255
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:52,580
SINCE I CAUGHT LICE
IN THE PEACE CORPS.
256
00:11:52,613 --> 00:11:55,749
I'M JUST GLAD THEY LEFT
SOME OF YOU FOR ME TO NIBBLE.
257
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,551
OH.
258
00:11:57,585 --> 00:11:59,052
OH, DICK,
THESE LETTERS
HAVE INJECTED
259
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,689
SO MUCH HEAT INTO
OUR RELATIONSHIP.
260
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,357
SCOOCHIE'S GOOD.
261
00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:04,658
MMM.
262
00:12:04,692 --> 00:12:05,893
OOH! BY THE WAY,
263
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:07,728
I GOT SCOOCHIE'S
LATEST LETTER.
264
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:08,662
OH.
265
00:12:08,696 --> 00:12:10,931
ANY FAVORITE PARTS
THAT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?
266
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,733
WELL, SOME OF IT'S
KIND OF RACY.
267
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,668
YOU'RE WELCOME.
268
00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:18,539
ANYWAY, I'LL GO
GET THE SHOWER CAPS.
269
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,408
OH,
270
00:12:20,441 --> 00:12:21,342
YOU KNOW
WHAT I FOUND
271
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:23,010
PARTICULARLY
INTRIGUING?
272
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,945
OH,
OF COURSE I DO.
273
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:28,248
IT WAS THE SUGGESTION
OF FINALLY MEETING
SCOOCHIE
274
00:12:28,282 --> 00:12:30,518
AT A SPECIAL
RENDEZVOUS.
275
00:12:30,551 --> 00:12:33,454
OH, WELL, I THOUGHT
YOU'D LIKE THAT.
276
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:34,955
A RENDEZVOUS?!
277
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,425
I WOULDN'T TAKE
THAT TOO SERIOUSLY, MARY.
278
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:41,228
UH, HE WAS PROBABLY JOKING.
SCOOCHIE LOVES TO LAUGH.
279
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:45,065
NO, NO. I WAS SURPRISED
AND TITILLATED.
280
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,701
SO, I R.S.V.P.ed
WITH A SEXY LITTLE NOTE
281
00:12:47,735 --> 00:12:50,638
TO SCOOCHIE'S P.O. BOX,
JUST LIKE HE ASKED.
282
00:12:50,671 --> 00:12:51,505
WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!
283
00:12:51,539 --> 00:12:54,842
I MEAN, THAT'S 34 CENTS
284
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,945
THAT WE COULD HAVE SPENT
ON GOOD TIMES.
285
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,251
HELLO THERE,
BROTHER.
286
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,953
LET'S SEE...
287
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:11,925
TV GUIDE...HYDROX COOKIES...
THAT NEW 'N SYNC CD...
288
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,927
HEY, IT'S
ONE OF THEM.
289
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,228
YOU WANNA GO
MESS WITH HIM?
290
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,263
YEAH.
291
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,231
THE AMISH
AREN'T SUPPOSED
TO FIGHT BACK.
292
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,634
Harry:
GEORGE FOREMAN
GRILLING MACHINE...
293
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:22,703
HEY, AMISH BOY,
YOU WANT SOME
ICE CREAM?
294
00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:24,805
OH. THAT WOULD BE NICE.
295
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,006
WHOOPS.
296
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:26,640
HA HA HA.
HA HA AH.
297
00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:27,941
I GET IT.
IT'S ONE OF THEM
298
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:30,444
"OPEN THE HANGAR,
HERE COMES THE PLANE"
TYPE DEALS.
299
00:13:30,478 --> 00:13:32,480
LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.
300
00:13:32,513 --> 00:13:33,547
YEAH.
301
00:13:33,581 --> 00:13:34,882
OHH.
302
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:37,751
MAYBE I'M MOVING
AROUND TOO MUCH.
303
00:13:37,785 --> 00:13:39,286
WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO ABOUT IT,
AMISH BOY?
304
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,888
WELL, I'LL STAND
REALLY STILL, ALL RIGHT?
305
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,090
I THINK WE
ALMOST HAD IT THAT TIME.
306
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:46,059
OHH.
307
00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:50,398
IT'S FUNNY
HOW THE SIMPLEST THINGS
CAN BE SO DIFFICULT.
308
00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:51,865
HARRY?
ARE YOU COMING?
309
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,133
OH, HELLO.
310
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,602
LOOK AT
THE BIG AMISH GIRL.
311
00:13:54,635 --> 00:13:56,303
SHE LOOKS
SCARED.
312
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,773
WHY DON'T YOU GO
QUILT YOURSELF
A HANKY AND CRY.
313
00:13:59,807 --> 00:14:02,042
Both:
HA HA HA.
314
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,243
OH.
315
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,380
WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
YOU WOULDN'T
QUILT A HANKY.
316
00:14:06,414 --> 00:14:07,815
YOU'D QUILT
A POT HOLDER.
317
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,517
AND SECOND--
318
00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:12,152
OHH!
UNH!
319
00:14:13,821 --> 00:14:16,289
WE'VE ONLY BEEN AMISH
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
320
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:16,990
HEY!
321
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,358
I GOT AN IDEA.
322
00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:20,528
YOU STAND STILL,
AND I'LL COME TO THE CONE.
323
00:14:20,561 --> 00:14:22,396
Sally: HARRY!
324
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:33,774
GOOD MORNING, DICK.
325
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:34,608
HELLO, THERE.
HEH HEH.
326
00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:36,577
WHAT'S THIS?
327
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,081
OOH, A LETTER
FROM SCOOCHIE...
328
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:45,085
ON MY LETTERHEAD.
329
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,821
SCOOCHIE'S THRIFTY.
330
00:14:47,855 --> 00:14:53,827
"DEAR MARY, HOW ARE YOU?
I AM FINE.
331
00:14:53,861 --> 00:14:58,499
"I'M CANCELING
OUR BAD NIGHT OF ACTIVITY
WE HAD PLANNED.
332
00:14:58,532 --> 00:15:00,834
"INSTEAD, YOU AND I
WILL BE EATING
333
00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:04,404
"HOT DOGS AND WIENERS
IN YOUR BACKYARD.
334
00:15:04,438 --> 00:15:09,342
FROM YOUR FRIEND,
SCOOCHIE."
335
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,912
THIS IS NOT ONE
OF HIS BEST.
336
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,715
THE POINT IS,
THE RENDEZVOUS
HAS BEEN RELOCATED.
337
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,949
I GUESS SO.
338
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,384
GOOD.
THAT'S THAT THEN.
339
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,119
MARY ALBRIGHT?
HMM?
340
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:19,820
I HAVE
A SPECIAL DELIVERY
341
00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:22,255
FROM A MR., UH,
SCOOCHIE.
342
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,957
UH-OH.
343
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:25,893
THANK YOU.
344
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:31,131
"DEAREST MARY,
345
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:35,469
"YOUR VOICE IS A PERFUME
THAT FILLS MY LUNGS.
346
00:15:35,503 --> 00:15:38,539
THE VERY WIND IS JEALOUS."
347
00:15:38,572 --> 00:15:42,743
NOW THAT'S MORE
SCOOCHIE'S STYLE.
348
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,012
"KINDLY IGNORE
MY LAST LETTER."
349
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:45,813
WHAT?
350
00:15:45,846 --> 00:15:47,615
"AND, INSTEAD,
MEET ME TONIGHT
351
00:15:47,648 --> 00:15:50,250
AS PLANNED
AT THE MEDIEVAL FESTIVAL."
352
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,520
OH, LET ME SEE THAT!
WHAT'S--
353
00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:53,186
DAMN!
354
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:53,654
WHAT?
355
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:55,355
UH, UH, UH, UH,
356
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,691
I MISSPELLED
MEDIEVAL.
357
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,327
[SALLY WHISTLES
THIS OLD MAN]
358
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,796
HEY, THERE, SALL.
HEY.
359
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:05,566
YEAH. DOING
SOME LAUNDRY?
360
00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:08,502
NO, HARRY, THIS IS
A BUTTER CHURN.
361
00:16:08,536 --> 00:16:09,670
HMM.
362
00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:12,372
NO WONDER MY WHITES
CAME OUT YELLOW.
363
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:13,974
[SIGHS] YOU KNOW,
I HAVE LEARNED
364
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:19,412
SO MUCH FROM TEAM X:
PATIENCE, DISCIPLINE.
365
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,881
THE ONLY THING
I REALLY MISS
ARE ZIPPERS.
366
00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,583
YOU KNOW, I NEVER DID GET
THE HANG OF THOSE.
367
00:16:22,616 --> 00:16:24,518
I KNOW, SWEETIE.
368
00:16:24,552 --> 00:16:29,022
LISTEN, HARRY,
I'VE BEEN THINKING
369
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,490
MAYBE WE COULD
TRANSFER
370
00:16:30,524 --> 00:16:33,060
TO THIS OUTFIT
FOR GOOD.
371
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:33,894
JOIN TEAM X?
372
00:16:33,927 --> 00:16:36,463
JOIN A WINNER.
373
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,865
OK.
AW!
374
00:16:37,898 --> 00:16:40,267
HA HA HA!
375
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,103
BUT WHAT ABOUT DICK?
376
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,706
FORGET DICK.
HE'S AN OUTSIDER NOW.
377
00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:47,875
YEAH.
MAYBE HE COULD COME BY
FROM TIME TO TIME,
378
00:16:47,908 --> 00:16:49,543
AND WE CAN SHUN HIM.
379
00:16:49,577 --> 00:16:51,745
AH!
AH!
380
00:16:51,779 --> 00:16:53,513
BROTHER HARRY.
SISTER SALLY.
381
00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:56,416
JEDEDIAH,
WE HAVE GREAT NEWS.
382
00:16:56,449 --> 00:17:02,122
HARRY AND I HAVE DECIDED
TO JOIN YOUR TEAM
PERMANENTLY.
383
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,224
IT'S FUNNY
YOU SHOULD
SAY THAT.
384
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,494
BECAUSE
WE WANT YOU TO LEAVE
OUR COMMUNITY.
385
00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:11,565
LEAVE?
BUT WE'RE MAKING
SUCH A DIFFERENCE.
386
00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:13,433
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
387
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:17,037
YOU'VE ORGANIZED
BUGGY RACES
FOR GAMBLING PURPOSES.
388
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,773
AND YOU MADE
1-900 CALLS
389
00:17:19,807 --> 00:17:23,010
FROM OUR COMMUNITY
PHONE SHED.
390
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:26,313
AND WORST OF ALL,
YOU'VE CORRUPTED
OUR DAUGHTER PRUDENCE.
391
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,749
THAT IS
AN ABSOLUTE LIE.
392
00:17:28,782 --> 00:17:34,121
OH, WE FOUND
THIS QUILT
IN HER ROOM.
393
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:36,323
OK, MAYBE A LITTLE BIT
OF CORRUPTION, BUT--
394
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,926
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
WE'RE SORRY. OK?
395
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:41,261
WE TRIED TO LIVE UP
TO YOUR PURITY,
396
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:44,932
BUT I GUESS
WE SHOULD GO.
397
00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:50,804
AHEM, BY THE WAY,
ANNABET, YOU HIT
THE TRIFECTA.
398
00:17:50,838 --> 00:17:52,706
OH!
399
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,844
PUMPKIN, I KNOW
YOU'RE GONNA
MISS ME,
400
00:17:56,877 --> 00:18:00,280
BUT SOME NIGHT,
WHEN YOU'RE
FEELING LONELY,
401
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,982
JUST LOOK UP THERE.
402
00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:02,750
AT A STAR?
403
00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:03,717
NO, AT A SATELLITE,
404
00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:04,517
BECAUSE
WHEREVER I AM,
405
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:07,154
I'M GONNA BE
WATCHING
SATELLITE TV.
406
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,857
GET OUT!
OH, OK.
407
00:18:16,664 --> 00:18:18,832
OOH!
408
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,435
HELLO.
409
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,171
ARE YOU
WHO I THINK YOU ARE?
410
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,405
SCOOCHIE?
UH, YEAH.
411
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,107
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED
TO MEET ME BY THE MOAT.
412
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,876
I DID? THAT'S
A STUPID IDEA.
413
00:18:28,909 --> 00:18:29,810
LET'S GET OUT
OF HERE, MARY.
414
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:32,079
NO! SCOOCHIE?!
WE CAN'T LEAVE.
415
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,982
ALL RIGHT. I'LL STAY
FOR THE WET BODICE CONTEST,
BUT THAT'S IT.
416
00:18:35,015 --> 00:18:41,621
NO! THE BLACK KNIGHT
IS ABOUT TO SELECT
AN OPPONENT FOR A DUEL.
417
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,094
WHO AMONG YOU
IS BRAVE ENOUGH
418
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:50,030
TO FACE THE BLACK KNIGHT?
419
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:52,232
YOU, SIR!
420
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,501
UH, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO.
421
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,803
OHH.
422
00:18:55,836 --> 00:18:57,470
VALIANT
SIR SCOOCHIE,
423
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:58,638
DEFEND
YOUR LADY.
424
00:18:58,672 --> 00:19:00,473
UH, NO. MARY, UH,
425
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:03,010
IF--IF YOU FIGHT
WITH THE PERFORMERS,
YOU HAVE TO TIP THEM.
426
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:04,577
THAT'S OK.
427
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,346
NOW JUST--
KNOCK THAT OFF!
428
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:11,218
OR I'LL TAKE
THAT CARDBOARD SWORD
OF YOURS AND--
429
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,619
UHH, THAT'S
GOOD CARDBOARD.
430
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,321
VALIANT
SIR SCOOCHIE,
431
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:16,089
DEFEND
YOUR LADY!
432
00:19:16,123 --> 00:19:17,858
UHH. OH, YES.
433
00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:20,493
UH, YES, OF COURSE.
434
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,696
WELL,
LET'S GO TO IT THEN.
435
00:19:22,730 --> 00:19:25,799
I WILL DISPENSE
WITH YOU PRESENTLY.
436
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:27,200
UNH.
[CHEERS]
437
00:19:32,139 --> 00:19:35,275
YAH, YAH, YAH,
YAH!
438
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,845
I'M ONLY FIGHTING
WITH YOU TO IMPRESS
MY GIRLFRIEND,
439
00:19:37,878 --> 00:19:40,080
SO IF YOU COULD PRETEND
TO FALL AT HER FEET,
440
00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:42,182
THAT WOULD BE HUGE.
441
00:19:43,784 --> 00:19:46,619
UNH, UNH!
442
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,388
THAT SCENT.
443
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:49,823
I KNOW THAT SCENT!
444
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:53,093
HYAH! HYAH!
445
00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:54,928
THE LETTERS!
446
00:19:54,962 --> 00:19:56,496
SCOOCHIE?
447
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,236
I SHOULD WARN YOU
THAT I'VE KILLED
WITH EVERYTHING
448
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:07,474
FROM A STEAK KNIFE
TO A PENNY DROPPED
FROM A SKYSCRAPER.
449
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,978
SO DON'T BE TOO BRAVE
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
450
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:12,579
[CHEERING]
451
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:18,151
Crowd: OOH!
452
00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:21,254
YOU ARE SO BRAVE!
453
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,689
YES, I KNOW.
454
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,592
OH, WATCH OUT!
HE'LL KILL YOU!
455
00:20:26,126 --> 00:20:28,295
GET BACK
IN THERE!
456
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,006
NO, SCOOCHIE!
457
00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:42,542
REVEAL YOURSELF!
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
458
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:58,959
DICK, DID YOU JUST
CALL HIM SCOOCHIE?
459
00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:00,894
DICK, IT'S BEEN
A LONG TIME.
460
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,330
LIAM, H-H-H-HOW ARE YOU?
461
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:08,168
OH, SPLENDID.
I, UH, RECENTLY WON
A PROBIE.
462
00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:09,436
SCOOCHIE IS FROM TEAM X?
463
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:10,470
NOW, LOOK,
I'D LOVE TO CHAT,
464
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,572
BUT THERE'S
A SMALL MATTER
OF YOUR BEHEADING.
465
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,674
UH, SIRE?
466
00:21:15,976 --> 00:21:17,277
NO!
467
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:19,112
THUMB'S UP
MEANS THAT I LIVE!
468
00:21:19,146 --> 00:21:21,915
WELL, NOT WHERE
I COME FROM.
31712
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