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1
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,344
DICK, WAKE UP!
WAKE UP, DICK!
2
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,914
WHA--OOH!
WHA--WHA? OH!
3
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:14,749
OH, SALLY! THANK GOD!
4
00:00:14,783 --> 00:00:16,918
I HAD THE MOST
HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE!
5
00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:19,253
I DREAMT THAT
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
CAME TO EARTH!
6
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:22,190
AND HE WAS
AN OBNOXIOUS,
LOUDMOUTHED BOOB,
7
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:25,960
AND...AND HE MADE YOU
HIGH COMMANDER, AND...
8
00:00:25,994 --> 00:00:30,198
AND THEN I WAS EATING
A GIANT MARSHMALLOW...
AND...
9
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,834
OH, MY GOD!
WHERE'S MY PILLOW?!
10
00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:35,069
DICK.
11
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:36,470
GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, OK?
12
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:39,040
LOOK. IT WASN'T A DREAM.
13
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,175
HE | MAKE ME
HIGH COMMANDER.
14
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,377
AND MY PILLOW?
15
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:46,247
HE, UH...HE CONFISCATED
ALL OUR PILLOWS
FOR HIMSELF.
16
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,683
OH, MY GOD.
THEN IT'S TRUE.
17
00:00:48,717 --> 00:00:50,652
SALLY, GET ME
SOME COFFEE.
18
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:52,020
DICK...
[CHUCKLES]
19
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:55,123
I'M NOT GETTING YOU
ANYTHING ANYMORE.
20
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:57,325
YOU WORK UNDER ME NOW,
AND YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO GET USED TO IT.
21
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,192
OH, GREAT!
22
00:00:58,226 --> 00:00:59,894
NOW, GET UP
AND GET DRESSED.
23
00:00:59,928 --> 00:01:01,062
NO.
THAT'S AN ORDER!
24
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,598
AN ORDER?
25
00:01:03,632 --> 00:01:05,634
"HIGH COMMANDER SALLY."
26
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:07,769
THAT SOUNDS
REAL IMPRESSIVE.
27
00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:08,703
RALLY 'ROUND, TROOPS.
28
00:01:08,737 --> 00:01:11,472
HIGH COMMANDER SALLY
WANTS TO GO TO THE MALL.
29
00:01:12,841 --> 00:01:14,308
DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU
30
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,745
THAT I MIGHT ACTUALLY
DESERVE THIS PROMOTION?
31
00:01:16,778 --> 00:01:19,848
OF COURSE IT DIDN'T!
32
00:01:19,881 --> 00:01:21,082
UH, SIR...
PERMISSION TO--
33
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,084
DICK.
34
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,353
WHAT IS THIS?
35
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,421
IT--IT'S CALLED
A SOAP OPERA, SIR.
36
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:28,657
MMM.
37
00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:31,392
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
38
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,796
THEY'RE HAVING SEX.
SIR, IF--IF I MAY--
39
00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:38,299
I WANT TO DO THAT.
40
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,035
I WANT TO DO
WHAT DRAKE IS DOING
TO AMANDA'S SISTER.
41
00:01:43,972 --> 00:01:47,608
SIR, I'LL--
I'LL CALL SOME PEOPLE.
42
00:01:47,642 --> 00:01:49,077
BUT, SIR,
IF I MIGHT,
43
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:52,380
HOW COULD YOU MAKE SALLY
THE HIGH COMMANDER?
I'M THE HIGH COMMANDER.
44
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,547
WELL, NOT ANYMORE.
45
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:54,883
THEN WHAT AM I?
46
00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:56,818
I DON'T KNOW.
47
00:01:56,851 --> 00:01:58,519
HOW DOES "LIEUTENANT"
SOUND?
48
00:01:58,552 --> 00:01:59,553
AWFUL!
49
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:00,388
THAT'S RIGHT.
IT DOESN'T HAVE
50
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,490
MUCH OF A RING
TO IT, DOES IT?
51
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:07,662
LET'S SEE.
LET'S MAKE YOU
THE...TRANSMITTER.
52
00:02:07,696 --> 00:02:12,100
"TRANSMITTER DICK."
NOW, THAT SOUNDS
KIND OF JAZZY.
53
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,401
BUT...I--I CAN'T BE
TRANSMITTER.
54
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,468
HARRY'S THE TRANSMITTER.
55
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,604
FINE. THEN YOU'LL BE
HIS ASSISTANT.
BUT--BUT--BUT--
56
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,974
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
DON'T THANK ME.
57
00:02:20,008 --> 00:02:21,876
WAIT. I'VE CHANGED
MY MIND. THANK ME.
58
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:29,583
AND COCA-COLA CLASSIC
59
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:01,082
OK, TOMMY.
NOW, THE THING
ABOUT A CUMMERBUND
60
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:05,453
IS THAT NOT ONLY
IS IT A NICE ACCENT
TO YOUR ENSEMBLE,
61
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:09,724
BUT YOU CAN ALSO
HIDE YOUR STASH IN IT.
62
00:03:09,758 --> 00:03:11,592
I'M NOT HIDING
A STASH IN IT.
63
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:12,894
OH. WELL, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
64
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:16,430
YOU OUGHT TO HOLD IT.
THEY NEVER SEARCH
THE GIRL.
65
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:18,499
THAT'S JUST GREAT.
I WAS WORRIED
ABOUT THAT, TOO.
66
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,533
I'M LEAVING.
67
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,803
HA HA HA HA HA!
68
00:03:21,836 --> 00:03:24,372
SHE IS
THE SWEETEST THING.
69
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,407
YOU BE GOOD
TO HER, TOMMY.
70
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,744
THIS IS THE MOST
IMPORTANT NIGHT
OF HER LIFE.
71
00:03:29,778 --> 00:03:30,779
WHAT ABOUT HER WEDDING?
72
00:03:30,812 --> 00:03:32,781
AH! WEDDINGS
COME AND GO.
73
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:38,219
BUT A GIRL ONLY HAS
ONE JUNIOR PROM.
74
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:41,856
OF COURSE...
SOME GIRLS HAVE NONE.
75
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,159
HELLO, VICKI.
76
00:03:45,193 --> 00:03:47,561
EXCUSE ME. TOMMY,
DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING?
77
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,831
'CAUSE I MOST
CERTAINLY DID NOT!
78
00:03:51,933 --> 00:03:53,167
[SOBBING LOUDLY]
79
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,204
AH.
GOOD AFTERNOON,
DICK.
80
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,006
HIGH COMMANDER.
81
00:03:58,039 --> 00:04:00,775
LOOK, I...I JUST
WANT TO SAY I...
82
00:04:00,809 --> 00:04:02,844
I COMPLETELY ACCEPT
YOUR NEW POSITION
83
00:04:02,877 --> 00:04:04,612
AND ONLY HOPE THAT
YOU WILL TREAT ME
84
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,915
WITH THE SAME
CONSIDERATION
AND RESPECT
85
00:04:06,948 --> 00:04:09,650
THAT I,
AS HIGH COMMANDER,
SHOWED YOU.
86
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:13,654
OF COURSE.
GET OUT OF MY CHAIR.
87
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,891
SALLY, I NEED SOMEONE
TO DRIVE ME TO GET
MY CORSAGE AT 3:00.
88
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,359
NO PROBLEM.
DICK, DRIVE HIM.
89
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,961
YES, SIR.
THANKS. DICK,
GET OUT OF MY CHAIR.
90
00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:23,297
UH, BUT--
MOVE!
91
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,099
DICK, GET OUT
OF MY CHAIR.
92
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,337
GOOD AFTERNOON.
93
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:30,571
All: GOOD AFTERNOON, SIR!
94
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,973
AT EASE, AT EASE.
WELL...
95
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:34,843
WELL. WHAT'S GOING ON?
96
00:04:34,876 --> 00:04:37,511
WE WERE JUST
DISCUSSING TOMMY'S PROM
TOMORROW NIGHT, SIR.
97
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,147
OH. WHAT IS THIS "PROM"?
98
00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:41,615
UH, PROM. IT'S, UM...
IT'S A PARTY.
99
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:45,386
A PARTY! I'M DOWN.
COUNT ME IN.
100
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,389
THAT'D BE GREAT, SIR,
BUT IT'S ONLY
FOR TEENAGERS.
101
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,458
WELL, HE COULD GO
AS YOUR CHAPERONE.
102
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,660
OR
HE COULD NOT.
103
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:55,229
CHAPERONE, CHAPERONE.
I KINDA LIKE
THE SOUND OF THAT.
104
00:04:55,263 --> 00:04:56,764
CHAPERONE. DICK,
GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR.
105
00:04:56,797 --> 00:05:00,134
YES, SIR!
RIGHT AWAY, SIR!
106
00:05:00,168 --> 00:05:01,569
YOU, UM...
107
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:02,736
WANT TO
SIT DOWN, SIR?
108
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,472
NO.
109
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:13,581
OH, IT'S NOTHING
TO BE ASHAMED OF, DICK.
110
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:14,983
THIS HAPPENS
TO ALL MEN
111
00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:18,552
AT SOME POINT
IN THEIR LIFE.
112
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:19,453
IT DOES?
113
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,722
SURE.
114
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,092
AT LEAST,
I THINK SO.
115
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:24,959
I WOULDN'T
REALLY KNOW.
116
00:05:24,993 --> 00:05:27,295
I'VE BEEN BATTING
KIND OF A THOUSAND...
117
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,596
UP UNTIL NOW.
118
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,064
[GROANING]
119
00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:31,565
OH, DICK,
WHAT'S WRONG?
120
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,667
OHHH...
I DON'T KNOW.
121
00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,503
EVER SINCE
STONE GOT HERE--
122
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,939
OH, ENOUGH
ABOUT STONE!
123
00:05:37,972 --> 00:05:40,741
I KNEW HIS TYPE
BACK IN COLLEGE.
BIG MAN ON CAMPUS.
124
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,510
BUT YOU LOOK PAST
THAT FLASHY SMILE,
125
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:43,811
SLEEP WITH HIM
A COUPLE OF TIMES,
126
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,980
DO KINKY THINGS
YOU NEVER THOUGHT
YOU'D DO,
127
00:05:46,014 --> 00:05:48,749
AND THEN TRY
FOR DAYS TO GET HIM
TO ANSWER THE PHONE.
128
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:52,186
THEN YOU SEE
THE REAL HIM.
129
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:55,256
THIS ISN'T REALLY
THE PEP TALK
I WAS HOPING FOR.
130
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:05,633
OH, VICKI,
I LOVE YA.
131
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:08,769
CAN YOU EVER
FORGIVE ME? AAH!
132
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:12,173
I JUST CAME IN TO STEAL
ONE OF VICKI'S CIGS.
133
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:13,341
SO WHAT'S NEW?
134
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:16,377
OH, YOU KNOW.
SAME OLD SAME OLD.
135
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,678
YOU WANTED THE CABLE
HOOKED UP IN HERE?
136
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,614
YEAH. RIGHT
OVER THERE, HONEY.
137
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,289
HEY.
138
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,225
OH, GOOD.
STONE. LOOK--
139
00:06:31,259 --> 00:06:33,962
OH. IF IT ISN'T
CROOKED EAR.
140
00:06:33,995 --> 00:06:37,331
RIGHT. UH, YOU KNOW,
I--I KNOW YOU AND DICK
GO BACK--
141
00:06:37,365 --> 00:06:39,000
YOU HAVE
A VERY PRETTY MOUTH.
142
00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:41,635
IT MOVES A LOT,
BUT IT'S VERY PRETTY.
143
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,104
OK. YOU KNOW, EVER SINCE
YOU GOT HERE--
144
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,773
I--I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE
THAT YOU'RE A WOMAN.
145
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:49,978
AND AS SUCH,
I'D REALLY LIKE TO HAVE A GO
AT THE SEX THING WITH YOU.
146
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,450
SO...WHY DON'T WE FIND
A PAIR OF EARMUFFS
147
00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:59,587
AND RETIRE
TO THE BEDROOM?
148
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,422
NO, I--I DON'T THINK SO.
149
00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:07,228
AH.
150
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,396
OH, MY GOD.
151
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:09,563
OH, MY GOD!
152
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,699
I KNOW, AND I'M STILL JUST
GETTING THE HANG OF IT.
153
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,034
YOU PIG!
154
00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:15,703
NO, NO! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!
THE BEDROOM'S THIS WAY!
155
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,143
OH, MAN! THIS SHIRT
DOESN'T HAVE
ANY BUTTONS!
156
00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,979
WHAT A RIPOFF!
157
00:07:25,013 --> 00:07:28,016
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
USING SOME OF THESE
LITTLE BLACK THINGS?
158
00:07:28,049 --> 00:07:30,051
HARRY, THAT'S
THE STUPIDEST THING
I'VE EVER HEARD.
159
00:07:30,084 --> 00:07:31,552
GO GET ME
A STAPLER.
160
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:37,358
YOU KNOW, YOU CANNOT
ORDER HARRY AROUND
LIKE THAT ANYMORE, DICK.
161
00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:38,692
HE OUTRANKS YOU NOW.
162
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:41,895
OH, RIGHT. I FORGOT.
I HAVE TOO MUCH
CELLULITE ON MY ASS
163
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,764
TO BE A HIGH COMMANDER.
164
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,801
YEAH, DICK.
MAYBE IF YOU PUT ON
A WONDER BRA,
165
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,904
YOU COULD GET
YOUR JOB BACK.
166
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,373
ARE YOU GUYS
INSINUATING
167
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:54,842
THAT I GOT THIS JOB
BECAUSE OF THE WAY
I LOOK?
168
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,145
WHO'S INSINUATING?
WE'RE SAYING IT
RIGHT TO YOUR FACE.
169
00:07:57,178 --> 00:07:58,712
YEAH.
170
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,049
THIS IS
SO TYPICAL!
171
00:08:01,082 --> 00:08:02,616
WHEN A WOMAN
WITH A BODY
LIKE THIS
172
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,152
GETS
A PROMOTION,
173
00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:05,419
EVERYBODY
QUESTIONS IT.
174
00:08:05,453 --> 00:08:07,655
BUT IF IT WERE
A MAN WITH A
BODY LIKE THIS,
175
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,291
THERE WOULDN'T
BE ANY QUESTION!
176
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:14,995
AH. SIR.
AS PER MY DUTIES
AS HIGH COMMANDER,
177
00:08:15,029 --> 00:08:18,466
I HAVE COMPLETED
THE DAILY STATUS REPORT.
178
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,834
IF YOU'LL NOTICE,
I'VE ORGANIZED IT
CHRONOLOGICALLY
179
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,703
AND NOT AS MY
PREDECESSOR USED TO DO,
180
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:26,940
UH, IN...LIMERICK FORM.
181
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:27,608
EXCELLENT WORK.
182
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,377
EXCELLENT WORK!
183
00:08:29,410 --> 00:08:30,578
BUT YOU DIDN'T
EVEN LOOK AT IT.
184
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:33,614
DIDN'T HAVE TO. I LIKE
WHAT I'M LOOKING AT
RIGHT NOW.
185
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:36,984
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
186
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,252
I'M SAYING...
187
00:08:38,286 --> 00:08:41,722
VAH-VAH.
188
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:44,592
OH, MY GOD.
189
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,428
I DIDN'T WANT
TO BELIEVE IT,
BUT IT'S TRUE.
190
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,863
YOU DIDN'T PROMOTE ME
ON MY MERITS.
191
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:50,364
NO, MA'AM.
192
00:08:50,398 --> 00:08:51,899
OH, GOD.
193
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,267
BUT DON'T GET ME WRONG.
194
00:08:53,301 --> 00:08:54,702
I PROMOTED YOU BECAUSE
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE
195
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:57,138
THE BEST
POSSIBLE CANDIDATE
TO GIVE ME PLEASURE.
196
00:09:00,074 --> 00:09:02,443
OK.
197
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:04,945
I'LL GIVE YOU PLEASURE,
YOU STEAMING PILE
OF ALIEN--
198
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,046
THAT'S RIGHT!
199
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,549
TALK DIRTY!
200
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,352
HEY. I GOT
A LIMO OUTSIDE
FOR TOMMY SOLOMON.
201
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,686
YEAH. YEAH, I'M READY.
202
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,021
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
203
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,489
SHOTGUN!
204
00:09:26,134 --> 00:09:28,502
YOU LOOK REALLY
PRETTY TONIGHT,
ALISSA.
205
00:09:28,536 --> 00:09:29,637
THANK YOU.
206
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:34,007
YAH-HA!
207
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:36,277
TOMMY,
I JUST HAVE
A QUESTION.
YEAH.
208
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,779
WHO IS THIS MAN,
AND WHAT'S HE DOING
HERE RUINING MY LIFE?
209
00:09:41,282 --> 00:09:42,450
YAAAHHH!
210
00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:43,284
WHOO-HOO!
211
00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:45,219
HA--
212
00:09:45,253 --> 00:09:47,121
[CHOKING]
213
00:09:47,155 --> 00:09:49,623
I THINK
I SWALLOWED A BUG.
214
00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:55,696
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS]
215
00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:07,708
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
I WOULD JUST LOVE IT
216
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:11,512
IF YOU WOULDN'T
PLAY GRAB-ASS
WITH MY TYPING TEACHER.
217
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,714
I WOULD LOVE IT
IF YOU'D KEEP IN MIND
218
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,149
WHICH ONE OF US
IS YOUR SUPREME LEADER.
219
00:10:15,183 --> 00:10:19,587
GET--SHH! ALL RIGHT.
GIVE HER MY LOVE THERE...
BIG BOY.
220
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,589
TOMMY. YOU'RE
SPENDING MORE TIME
221
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,791
WITH YOUR DAD'S FRIEND
THAN WITH ME.
222
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:27,895
YEAH. WELL, YOU
HAVE TO UNDERSTAND.
IT'S HIS FIRST PROM.
223
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,263
MINE, TOO!
224
00:10:29,297 --> 00:10:33,667
RIGHT. EXACTLY.
SEE THAT?
225
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:36,304
HEY, KIDS.
226
00:10:36,337 --> 00:10:38,206
HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING
ILLEGAL GOIN' DOWN?
227
00:10:38,239 --> 00:10:40,107
YOU KNOW, SMOKING,
DRINKING?
228
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,675
NO.
OH.
229
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:46,214
COME ON, CATS.
OLD DONNY'S NO SQUARE.
230
00:10:46,247 --> 00:10:48,882
I'M TOTALLY DOWN
WITH YOUR AWESOME SCENE.
231
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:49,883
NOW, UH...
232
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:50,851
WHICH ONE
OF THESE KIDS
233
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:53,387
IS DANCIN'
WITH LUCY IN THE SKY
WITH DIAMONDS?
234
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:03,163
HEY, GUYS.
235
00:11:03,197 --> 00:11:05,065
HI, VICKI. WHAT
ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
236
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,401
WELL, I WAS JUST
SITTIN' AT HOME--HI--
237
00:11:07,435 --> 00:11:10,037
I WAS JUST SITTIN' AT HOME
FEELIN' LONESOME,
AND I THOUGHT,
238
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,272
HEY, WHAT THE HELL?
239
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:14,475
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO GO
TO YOUR JUNIOR PROM.
HA HA HA HA!
240
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,612
I'M NOT SURE
THAT'S TRUE.
241
00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:21,081
[SOBBING]
242
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:26,587
DICK.
243
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:27,355
HELLO, MARY.
244
00:11:27,388 --> 00:11:28,689
IS STONE AROUND?
245
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:29,557
NO.
246
00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:32,226
GOOD.
247
00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:35,763
BECAUSE I HAVE
A LITTLE NEWS FLASH
ABOUT YOUR FRIEND.
248
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:38,499
THIS AFTERNOON,
HE GRABBED ME
AND KISSED ME!
249
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,767
WHAT?!
250
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,969
OH, DICK, I KNOW HOW
THIS MUST MAKE YOU FEEL.
251
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,404
OH, BUT
THIS IS WONDERFUL!
252
00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:44,738
WHAT?!
253
00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:46,206
STONE LIKES YOU!
254
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,342
THIS REFLECTS
BEAUTIFULLY ON ME!
255
00:11:48,376 --> 00:11:51,279
DICK, ANOTHER MAN PUT
HIS TONGUE IN MY MOUTH!
256
00:11:51,312 --> 00:11:53,046
TONGUE! YES!
257
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,515
HOW CAN THIS BE
A GOOD THING?
258
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:58,286
MARY, DON'T YOU SEE?!
HE'S GIVEN YOU
HIS SEAL OF APPROVAL!
259
00:11:58,319 --> 00:12:00,120
WHY DO YOU CARE
WHAT HE THINKS?
260
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:05,259
THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
IS WHAT YOU AND I THINK.
261
00:12:05,293 --> 00:12:09,263
I THINK
YOU'RE WAY TOO SMART
AND HANDSOME AND SEXY
262
00:12:09,297 --> 00:12:14,635
TO WASTE A SECOND
OF YOUR TIME WORRYING
ABOUT THAT BRAYING JACKASS.
263
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,637
MARY...
WHAT?!
264
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:18,506
I THINK MY LITTLE
PROBLEM IS GONE.
265
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:23,811
YEHH-HAWW!
266
00:12:32,353 --> 00:12:35,889
TOMMY,
YOUR WEIRD FRIEND
IS RUINING THE PROM.
267
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,325
WHICH ONE?
268
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,498
HE'S IN THE LEAD.
269
00:12:44,532 --> 00:12:47,535
SO SORRY, ALISSA.
I KNOW I'M SCREWIN'
THIS WHOLE NIGHT UP FOR YOU,
270
00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:51,138
AND YOU'RE GONNA
PROBABLY END UP BACK HERE
IN 20 YEARS LIKE VICKI.
271
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,840
IT'LL BE ALL MY FAULT.
272
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:55,509
TOMMY, IT'S BAD,
BUT IT'S NOT...
273
00:12:55,543 --> 00:12:57,978
THAT BAD.
274
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:01,349
THE POINT IS THAT
WE'RE HERE TOGETHER,
AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.
275
00:13:01,382 --> 00:13:02,015
REALLY?
276
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,484
REALLY.
277
00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:04,952
WHOOPS!
278
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,464
I'LL GET
SOME NAPKINS.
279
00:13:16,497 --> 00:13:19,166
[DRUMROLL]
280
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,534
OK, EVERYBODY,
IT'S THAT TIME!
281
00:13:20,568 --> 00:13:23,504
AND NOW THE KING AND QUEEN
OF THE JUNIOR PROM...
282
00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:25,806
TOMMY SOLOMON
AND ALISSA STRUDWICK!
283
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,875
OHH! OHH!
284
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,377
OH, MY GOD!
WE WON!
285
00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:30,744
OHH!
286
00:13:30,778 --> 00:13:32,713
OH, THANK YOU
SO MUCH!
287
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:33,781
OHHH...
288
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:37,284
THIS IS
SO BEAUTIFUL!
289
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:45,258
[BAND PLAYS]
290
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:47,861
* WHY DO BIRDS
291
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:50,598
* SUDDENLY APPEAR
292
00:13:50,631 --> 00:13:52,933
* EVERY TIME
293
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:56,670
* YOU ARE NEAR...
294
00:13:56,704 --> 00:13:58,606
OH, MY GOD.
295
00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:02,209
IT'S LIKE
HE'S SINGIN'
JUST FOR ME.
296
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:05,513
* CLOSE TO YOU
297
00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:08,416
* WHY DO STARS
298
00:14:08,449 --> 00:14:11,018
* FALL DOWN
FROM THE SKY *
299
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,554
* EVERY TIME
300
00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:16,490
* YOU WALK BY?
301
00:14:16,524 --> 00:14:19,427
OH, DEAR,
JUST LIKE ME...
302
00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:22,195
THEY WANT TO BE...
303
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,631
* CLOSE TO YOU
304
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:25,633
[WHISPERING]
Oh, Stone...
305
00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:40,347
YOU KNOW, THIS IS
HOW I ALWAYS IMAGINED
MY PROM NIGHT WOULD BE.
306
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,983
I--I WAS--I WAS
IN A BAD, BAD PLACE,
STONE,
307
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:46,954
BUT YOU'VE...
YOU'VE REAWAKENED
THE WOMAN IN ME.
308
00:14:51,592 --> 00:14:53,260
LET'S GO TO MY PLACE.
309
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,795
NO. NOT THE SOLOMONS'.
310
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,329
NO, NO, NO.
MY PLACE.
311
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,566
THE VIEW IS...
[CHUCKLES]
312
00:14:58,599 --> 00:15:00,734
UNBELIEVABLE.
313
00:15:00,768 --> 00:15:02,870
TAKE ME THERE.
314
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,260
YOU KNOW,
FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN DAYS,
315
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:30,330
I ACTUALLY FEEL
GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
316
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:35,035
I DON'T NEED A FANCY TITLE
TO HAVE SELF-RESPECT.
I HAVE LOVE.
317
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,904
YOU KNOW,
WE GOT A LITTLE
DRIED-UP JELLY
318
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,740
BY THE STOVE HERE,
DICK.
319
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,575
ON IT.
320
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,144
LET'S JUST GET THIS SETTLED
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
321
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,780
YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE MY BODY GOT
MY FOOT IN THIS DOOR,
322
00:15:46,814 --> 00:15:49,617
BUT YOU GUYS KNOW
THAT I DESERVE THIS JOB
REGARDLESS.
323
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:51,552
YEAH, WHATEVER.
Tommy: SURE.
324
00:15:51,585 --> 00:15:53,654
SHUT UP!
HEY, Y'ALL.
325
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:54,688
HEY, VICKI.
HEY,
VICKI.
326
00:15:54,722 --> 00:15:55,989
THAT WAS
SOME PROM THERE.
327
00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:58,526
OH, YEAH, IT WAS GR--
IT WAS WEIRD.
328
00:15:58,559 --> 00:15:59,459
WEIRD?
329
00:15:59,493 --> 00:16:01,361
WELL...
I WAS WITH STONE...
330
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,331
AHH! YOU WERE WITH--
331
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,199
STONE? UH, WHAT
HAPPENED WITH STONE?
332
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,368
WELL, IT JUST DOESN'T
MAKE ANY SENSE.
333
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,538
ALL I REMEMBER
IS I'M LOOKIN'
DOWN ON THE EARTH
334
00:16:10,571 --> 00:16:14,341
FROM WAY HIGH UP,
AND THERE WERE
THESE PULSATING LIGHTS
335
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:17,210
AND THIS...THIS NOISE,
THIS...
336
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,279
SKEE-BEE-DEE-BEEP-BEEP.
SKEE-BEE-DEE-BEEP-BEEP.
337
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,381
SKEE-BEE-DEE-BEEP-BEEP.
SKEE-BEE-DEE-BEEP-BEEP.
338
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:26,053
AND...STONE WAS THERE,
AND THAT WAS NICE.
339
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:28,989
BUT THE NEXT THING I KNEW,
I WOKE UP IN MY OWN BED,
340
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:31,424
AND I DON'T HAVE A CLUE
HOW I GOT THERE.
341
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:35,362
DO YOU THINK I MIGHT
BE GOIN' CRAZY?
342
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:38,699
YES.
343
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,467
YES, YOU ARE
GOING CRAZY.
344
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,035
THAT IS A SHAME.
YEAH.
345
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,370
MY ADVICE IS
FORGET ABOUT IT,
346
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,939
DON'T TELL ANYONE,
AND PRETEND YOU'RE WELL.
YEAH.
347
00:16:45,973 --> 00:16:47,808
UM, DO Y'ALL HAVE
ANY DEVILED EGGS,
348
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,510
THE KIND WITH THE RELISH
IN 'EM? I'VE GOT
THIS MASSIVE CRAVING.
349
00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:52,946
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK
WE HAVE SOME OF THOSE
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
350
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:56,684
LET'S GO, GUYS!
YEAH! YEAH!
351
00:16:56,717 --> 00:17:01,221
OH, MY GOD.
HE TOOK HER UP
TO HIS BACHELOR POD.
352
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,023
THAT SKUNK!
TAKIN' ADVANTAGE
353
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,992
OF MY INNOCENT
LITTLE VICKI?
354
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:08,128
HE IS SERIOUSLY
OUT OF CONTROL.
355
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:11,531
I'M GONNA GO IN THERE,
AND I'M GONNA TELL HIM
WHAT'S WHAT.
356
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,068
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
357
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:17,905
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT...
358
00:17:17,938 --> 00:17:22,042
YOU CANNOT
JUST GO AROUND
ABDUCTING HUMANS.
359
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,511
YES, I CAN.
360
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,281
WELL, OK. BUT, UH...
THERE ARE PLENTY
OF PLACES ON EARTH
361
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,617
TO DO WHAT
YOU TWO DID.
362
00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:34,588
I KNOW. BUT I WANTED
TO BE REALLY LOUD.
363
00:17:34,622 --> 00:17:35,956
YOU KNOW, YOU FOUR
364
00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:39,192
HAVEN'T DONE
THIS PLANET JUSTICE
IN YOUR REPORTS.
365
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,261
IT'S...INFECTIOUS!
366
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:43,330
I...DON'T WANT TO LEAVE!
367
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,899
IN FACT, I'VE DECIDED
TO MAKE THIS PLACE
368
00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:47,935
OUR NEW BASE
OF OPERATION.
YOU HAVE?
369
00:17:47,968 --> 00:17:49,903
YES. I'VE HIRED
AN ARCHITECT.
370
00:17:49,937 --> 00:17:52,305
WE'RE GONNA GO UP...
AND OUT!
371
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:55,242
I'M NEVER LEAVING!
Vicki: STONE!
372
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,745
I--I DON'T--
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
THIS, BUT I...
373
00:17:57,778 --> 00:18:00,513
I THINK I MIGHT
BE...PREGNANT.
374
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:01,982
AAH!
375
00:18:03,617 --> 00:18:06,253
WELL, LOOK AT THE TIME.
I GOTTA GET GOING.
376
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,693
WHOO! YES, INDEED.
I'VE GOT
TO GET GOING.
377
00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:13,761
HOME FOR ME!
I'M LATE!
378
00:18:13,794 --> 00:18:14,962
WHAT ARE
YOU DOIN'?!
379
00:18:14,995 --> 00:18:19,332
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M SUDDENLY OVERCOME
WITH A DESIRE TO FLEE.
380
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,234
SIR! PLEASE! SIR!
381
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:24,237
I HEREBY UPGRADE YOUR
EVALUATION TO SUBSTANDARD.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
382
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,207
UH, UH, PROCEED BOLDLY
AND WITH STEALTH.
383
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,242
SHWEHHW!
384
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,544
WHATEVER.
I DON'T KNOW.
385
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,613
OK. ALL RIGHT. WE GOT
A BIG SITUATION HERE.
386
00:18:33,647 --> 00:18:35,615
BUT WE GOT TIME.
WE GOT 9 MONTHS,
SO WE CAN--
387
00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:38,285
YOU GUYS...WE GOT
A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE.
388
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:46,894
WELL, 10 MINUTES AGO,
THESE PANTS FIT GREAT.
389
00:18:46,927 --> 00:18:50,798
AND NOW--NOW I CAN'T
EVEN ZIP 'EM UP.
390
00:18:50,831 --> 00:18:54,101
THEY--
THEY COST ME $40.
391
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,235
HELLO!
392
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,938
MARY! MARY, IT'S
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!
393
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,907
WELL, TILL TOMORROW,
THEN. SLEEP WELL.
394
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:01,975
I JUST GOT HERE!
OHH! OHH! OHH!
395
00:19:02,009 --> 00:19:05,913
OHH...OHH...
OHH...OH.
OH. WAIT. YEAH.
396
00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:08,749
OH, MY GOD, VICKI,
LOOK AT YOU!
397
00:19:08,782 --> 00:19:10,583
SHE'S PUT ON
A FEW POUNDS.
398
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:11,418
Sally: YEAH.
399
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,220
YOU KNOW,
SHE LOVES HER TACOS,
SO...
400
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,622
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE
6 MONTHS PREGNANT!
401
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:18,225
YEAH!
DUH!
WHERE HAVE
YOU BEEN?
402
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,560
I HAD NO IDEA!
I MEAN, THIS IS SO--
403
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,530
HARRY, CONGRATULATIONS!
404
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:24,932
OH.
WHY, UH...
405
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,770
I DO NOT NEED THIS
MY FIRST WEEK
AS HIGH COMMANDER.
406
00:19:29,803 --> 00:19:31,772
I DO NOT NEED THIS!
WHAT'RE WE DONNA DO?
407
00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:32,740
ALL RIGHT.
408
00:19:32,773 --> 00:19:35,608
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
WE MINIMIZE CONTACT.
409
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:36,977
DICK, YOU GOTTA GET
MARY OUTTA HERE.
410
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:39,046
TAKE HER TO ONE
OF THOSE REALLY LONG
FOREIGN FILMS
411
00:19:39,079 --> 00:19:40,280
SHE PRETENDS TO LIKE.
412
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,916
OK? TOMMY, CALL
THE HOSPITAL. TELL 'EM
THERE'S AN INCOMING.
413
00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:44,551
HARRY, YOU GO RUN
TO THE BATHROOM.
414
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,787
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
TO STOP ON THE WAY.
NOW, GO!
415
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:54,895
NICE WORK,
HIGH COMMANDER.
416
00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:56,263
THANK YOU.
417
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:59,166
FOR A BEGINNER,
I MEAN.
418
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,167
THANKS.
[CHUCKLES]
419
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:00,968
OF COURSE, THERE WERE
420
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,736
NO ALIEN IMPREGNATIONS
ON MY WATCH--
421
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:04,471
YEAH, I GET IT, DICK.
422
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:12,079
UM...DOC--
DR. ALBRIGHT...
423
00:20:12,112 --> 00:20:14,214
IT WOULD MEAN
A GREAT DEAL TO ME
424
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:17,050
IF YOU WOULD
DELIVER MY CHILD
INTO THIS WORLD.
425
00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:20,053
WHAT?
426
00:20:20,087 --> 00:20:23,690
WELL, YOU'RE
THE ONLY DOCTOR
I TRUST.
427
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:27,027
OH...VICKI, I--
I'M NOT THAT KIND
OF DOCTOR.
428
00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:30,697
OH. I SEE.
429
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,665
JUST BECAUSE
I DO NOT HAVE INSURANCE
430
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:35,135
MEANS I'M NOT
A HUMAN BEING.
431
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:39,272
NO. NO. I--I CAN'T
DELIVER YOUR BABY.
432
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:42,242
BUT I'LL BE THERE
FOR YOU.
433
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:43,143
OH, WELL, NOW,
THAT'S GOOD,
434
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:46,146
'CAUSE I BELIEVE
MY WATER JUST BROKE!
435
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:48,916
OH MY GOD! DICK, GET IN HERE!
436
00:20:48,949 --> 00:20:52,485
WE'VE GOT TO TAKE VICKI
TO THE HOSPITAL!
THE BABY'S COMING!
437
00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:54,221
[SALLY BREATHES
NERVOUSLY]
438
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,622
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
439
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:58,826
YOU'RE
THE HIGH COMMANDER.
GIVE US AN ORDER!
440
00:20:58,859 --> 00:21:01,494
CHASE THEM?
441
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,030
LET'S GO!
442
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,269
YOU'RE GONNA BE
OK, HONEY.
443
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:11,071
OH, GOD, HARRY,
I CAN FEEL IT!
444
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,605
I CAN FEEL IT COMING!
445
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,641
JUST RELAX.
BREATHE DEEPLY.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
446
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:19,146
I CAN SEE THE HEAD.
BOY, IS THAT
A BIG HEAD!
447
00:21:19,179 --> 00:21:24,351
[ALL SCREAMING]
448
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:27,254
[ALL SCREAMING]
449
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,256
IS DICK IN?
HAVEN'T SEEN HIM. WHY?
450
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:33,526
WELL, HIS FRIEND STONE LEFT THIS
AT THE PROM LAST NIGHT.
451
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,028
I THINK HE WAS
SPIKIN' THE PUNCH.
452
00:21:35,062 --> 00:21:36,396
WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK THAT?
453
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:38,832
WELL, I, UH...WOKE UP
ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD
454
00:21:38,866 --> 00:21:41,101
WHEN THE SPRINKLERS
CAME ON.
455
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:44,171
WELL, I'LL BE SURE
TO TELL HIM WHEN HE--
456
00:21:44,204 --> 00:21:46,373
UH--UH...
WHERE'S MY EVIDENCE?
457
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:48,075
I DON'T KNOW!
458
00:21:48,108 --> 00:21:50,810
JEEZ! THIS HAPPENS
TO ME ALL THE TIME!
459
00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:54,314
GUNS, DRUGS...I EVEN LOST
A WHOLE DEAD GUY ONCE.
32436
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