Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,176
HI, GUYS.
2
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,544
HI, DON.
HEY, DON.
OH, HEY, DON.
3
00:00:09,578 --> 00:00:12,647
YEAH, I JUST, YOU KNOW,
HAPPENED TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, AND, UH,
4
00:00:12,681 --> 00:00:13,782
HERE YOU GO, DICK.
5
00:00:13,815 --> 00:00:15,283
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
6
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,919
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?
FOR ME?
7
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:20,555
WELL, TOMORROW.
IT'S MAY 5, RIGHT?
8
00:00:20,589 --> 00:00:22,724
IF THAT'S WHAT I SAID,
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
9
00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:24,092
MAY 5.
10
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:24,926
WHAT YEAR?
11
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:27,629
EVERY YEAR.
12
00:00:27,662 --> 00:00:29,397
WELL, I WOULD HAVE
DROPPED BY TOMORROW,
13
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,565
BUT RUMOR HAS IT
14
00:00:30,599 --> 00:00:32,601
THAT THE, UH, FBI
15
00:00:32,634 --> 00:00:35,770
HAS AGENTS IN TOWN
LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY.
16
00:00:35,804 --> 00:00:37,739
THAT'S CLASSIFIED
INFORMATION.
17
00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:41,409
YOU HAVE NO IDEA,
DO YOU?
18
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,578
THAT'S ALSO CLASSIFIED.
19
00:00:43,612 --> 00:00:45,780
WELL, I GOTTA GO.
SEE YOU, SALLY.
20
00:00:45,814 --> 00:00:47,381
TOMMY, DICK, HARRY.
21
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,122
YOU KNOW,
I--I JUST NOTICED THAT
YOU'RE TOM, DICK, AND HARRY.
22
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,361
SO?
23
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,330
SO TOM, DICK, AND HARRY.
24
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:05,099
YOU KNOW, LIKE
"EVERY TOM, DICK, AND HARRY."
25
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,534
WELL...THAT DOESN'T MEAN
26
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,170
THAT IT'S A CALCULATED
ATTEMPT ON OUR PART
TO SEEM AVERAGE.
27
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:12,240
YEAH. I MEAN, WE JUST
PICKED NAMES AT RANDOM
28
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:15,309
WHEN WE GOT HERE.
29
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:18,813
I MEAN WHEN WE LANDED.
30
00:01:18,847 --> 00:01:20,548
BYE, DON.
31
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,984
BYE.
32
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:24,185
WELL,
THAT WAS CLOSE.
33
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,755
WAIT A MINUTE.
WEREN'T YOU LISTENING
TO WHAT DON JUST SAID?
34
00:01:26,788 --> 00:01:28,256
ABOUT OUR NAMES
BEING SUSPICIOUS?
35
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:29,057
NO, NOT THAT.
36
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,424
ABOUT THE FBI
BEING IN TOWN?
37
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,793
NO, NO!
38
00:01:31,826 --> 00:01:34,328
ABOUT IT BEING
MY BIRTHDAY.
39
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,097
DICK, IT'S YOUR FAKE
BIRTHDAY.
40
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:40,769
AND YOU'RE MY FAKE FAMILY,
AND NONE OF YOU REMEMBERED.
41
00:01:40,802 --> 00:01:42,771
WAIT A MINUTE.
42
00:01:42,804 --> 00:01:45,606
YOU'RE GIVING ME
A SURPRISE PARTY.
43
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:46,607
NO, WE'RE NOT.
44
00:01:46,641 --> 00:01:48,442
[SING-SONG]
YES, YOU ARE.
45
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:49,610
NO, WE'RE NOT.
46
00:01:49,644 --> 00:01:50,879
YES, YOU ARE.
47
00:01:50,912 --> 00:01:52,847
YOU ARE THROWING ME
A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY
TOMORROW NIGHT.
48
00:01:52,881 --> 00:01:54,482
THAT'S AN ORDER.
49
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,850
WAIT. TOMORROW?!
50
00:01:55,884 --> 00:01:57,786
YES! AT 7 P.M. SHARP.
51
00:01:57,819 --> 00:01:59,287
OH! OH!
52
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,222
I'M GONNA BE SO SURPRISED.
53
00:02:38,026 --> 00:02:41,796
I, UH, HAVE YOUR EXAMS,
EVERYONE.
54
00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:43,164
BUT YOU DIDN'T
GRADE THESE.
55
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,700
OH, MAN, HE'S NOT EVEN
GRADING THEM ANYMORE.
56
00:02:45,734 --> 00:02:47,001
WELL, IS THERE ANYONE HERE
57
00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:48,302
WHO THINKS
THEY MIGHT HAVE PASSED?
58
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:50,839
YEAH. ALL RIGHT, THEN,
59
00:02:50,872 --> 00:02:53,641
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT STAPLED TO EACH EXAM
60
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:57,445
IS AN INVITATION
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
61
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:58,612
YOU'RE INVITING US
TO YOUR PARTY?
62
00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,381
I DIDN'T EVEN THINK
YOU LIKED US.
63
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,751
OH, BUG.
64
00:03:02,784 --> 00:03:05,186
I DON'T.
I LIKE PRESENTS.
65
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,821
KEEP IN MIND,
I WILL BE AWARE
66
00:03:06,855 --> 00:03:10,191
OF ANY NO-SHOWS.
67
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,860
YOU KNOW,
DR. SOLOMON,
68
00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:13,962
THIS COULD BE
INTERPRETED
AS BLACKMAIL.
69
00:03:13,995 --> 00:03:14,763
UH, NO, CARYN.
70
00:03:14,796 --> 00:03:17,431
IT'S EXTORTION.
71
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:20,534
HE'S A PROFESSOR.
HE CAN'T CONTROL
OUR SOCIAL LIVES.
72
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:21,936
SO WILL YOU BE THERE,
PITMAN?
73
00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:23,805
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I WOULDN'T MISS IT.
74
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,819
EH--EH--
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE
ALL SEMESTER?
75
00:03:37,852 --> 00:03:39,587
OH, NO.
I'M MRS. EVERLY,
76
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,355
AND THIS IS MY SON NED.
77
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:42,791
WE'RE AUDITING YOUR CLASS.
78
00:03:42,824 --> 00:03:43,657
I WASN'T INFORMED.
79
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,294
OH, MY GOODNESS,
YOU'RE SMART.
80
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:47,428
OH.
81
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,563
OH, MY GOODNESS,
YOU'RE PERCEPTIVE.
82
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,766
EVERYONE TOLD US
WHAT A GENIUS YOU ARE,
83
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:52,600
AND, BOY,
WERE THEY RIGHT.
84
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,702
YOU'RE VERY UNUSUAL.
85
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:58,106
MAMA LIKES
THE UNUSUAL.
86
00:03:58,139 --> 00:04:00,441
OH, NOW, NED,
LET'S NOT BORE
THE GREAT MAN.
87
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,043
WELL, I HOPE
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
88
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,012
YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.
89
00:04:04,045 --> 00:04:05,446
[BELL RINGS]
90
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,548
OK, PEOPLE,
YOUR ASSIGNMENT IS
91
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,751
TO DISCUSS WHAT GIFTS
YOU WILL BE BUYING
FOR ME.
92
00:04:10,785 --> 00:04:12,153
AND--AND, SERIOUSLY,
93
00:04:12,186 --> 00:04:13,487
TRY TO TOP EACH OTHER,
94
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:14,688
CAN YOU?
95
00:04:19,828 --> 00:04:21,495
HI. IS DR. SOLOMON IN?
96
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,832
WHY, YES, I AM.
97
00:04:23,865 --> 00:04:24,933
DR. DICK SOLOMON.
98
00:04:24,966 --> 00:04:26,835
OH, THAT DR. SOLOMON.
99
00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:29,037
HE'S NOT YOUR TYPE.
100
00:04:29,070 --> 00:04:31,772
I'M FROM THE PENDLETON
FAX LINE MAINTENANCE
DEPARTMENT.
101
00:04:31,806 --> 00:04:33,975
DON'T YOU MEAN
YOU'RE A PHONE GUY?
102
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:36,310
HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS.
103
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:40,714
THE FAX MACHINE
WOULD BE HERE
IN MY OFFICE.
104
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,317
WHERE I AM.
105
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,252
THANKS.
106
00:04:47,088 --> 00:04:47,721
HOW DO I LOOK?
107
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,490
LOSE THE SWEATER.
108
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:56,697
THIS IS FOR YOU.
109
00:04:56,730 --> 00:05:00,234
IT'S AN INVITATION
TO MY SURPRISE
BIRTHDAY PARTY.
110
00:05:00,268 --> 00:05:02,136
IF YOU'RE HANDING OUT
INVITATIONS,
111
00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:03,504
HOW CAN IT BE A SURPRISE?
112
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:04,472
MARY, IT WON'T BE
113
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:07,641
IF YOU KEEP WAVING
THE INVITATION AROUND.
114
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,878
NOW, PUT THAT SOMEPLACE
WHERE I WON'T SEE IT.
115
00:05:09,911 --> 00:05:11,579
NINA!
116
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,848
OH, UH, NINA,
THIS IS FOR YOU.
117
00:05:13,882 --> 00:05:15,049
YOU MUST BE DR. SOLOMON.
118
00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:18,019
YES. WOULD YOU
LIKE TO COME
TO MY SURPRISE PARTY?
119
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:21,222
DON'T YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE
YOU HAVE TO BE?
120
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:22,690
NO.
121
00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:24,993
MAMA!
122
00:05:25,026 --> 00:05:27,095
I FOUND HIS DOOR.
123
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,364
GOOD.
124
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:33,201
THAT MUST BE
HIS DESK.
125
00:05:33,234 --> 00:05:34,768
NED, GET MAMA
A CHAIR.
126
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,138
OK, MAMA.
127
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,672
MAY I HELP YOU?
128
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,108
NO, YOU CAN'T.
129
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:45,346
NED, HONEY,
GO BACK TO THE MOTEL
AND WAIT.
130
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,681
I'M GOING
TO THE MOTEL NOW.
131
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,117
THAT'S NICE.
132
00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:53,888
I'M GOING! I'M GOING!
133
00:05:53,922 --> 00:05:55,356
WELL, MRS. EVERLY,
HELLO.
134
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,991
OH, PLEASE CALL ME
CHARLOTTE.
135
00:05:57,025 --> 00:06:00,061
ALL RIGHT.
CHARLOTTE.
136
00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:02,363
DR. SOLOMON,
I HAVE A CONFESSION.
137
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,565
I'M NOT SOME HOUSEWIFE
AUDITING A CLASS.
138
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:05,466
YOU'RE NOT?
139
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,434
NO. I'M A REPORTER
140
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:07,936
FROM THE CLEVELAND
PLAIN DEALER,
141
00:06:07,969 --> 00:06:09,770
AND I WANT TO DO
A STORY ON YOU.
142
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:10,871
ON ME?
143
00:06:10,905 --> 00:06:13,541
YES, YOU SEE,
EVERY YEAR A DO A PIECE
ON GREATNESS.
144
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,077
HA HA HA HA HA!
145
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:19,948
SORRY.
146
00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:21,849
I'VE DONE ALL SORTS
OF RESEARCH ON YOU,
147
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,818
AND FRANKLY, I'M IMPRESSED.
WILL YOU GRANT ME
AN INTERVIEW?
148
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:28,089
ALL RIGHT.
BUT I MUST ASK YOU
TO LIMIT YOUR DISCUSSION
149
00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:29,323
TO MY GREATNESS.
150
00:06:29,357 --> 00:06:31,993
UH, NINA.
151
00:06:32,026 --> 00:06:32,560
WHAT?!
152
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:33,627
I'M GOING TO LUNCH NOW.
153
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:34,262
THEN GO.
154
00:06:34,295 --> 00:06:35,596
COME ALONG, CHARLOTTE.
155
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:38,099
AS TO GREATNESS,
I FIND THAT
SOME ARE BORN GREAT,
156
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,467
SOME ACHIEVE GREATNESS,
157
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,870
AND SOME
THRUST THEIR GREATNESS
UPON OTHERS.
158
00:06:47,208 --> 00:06:49,477
OK, SO WE GOT
10 OF THOSE.
159
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,645
JUST BRING THE CHAIRS BACK
WHEN YOUR PARTY'S OVER.
160
00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,481
WHAT?
THESE ARE NOT CHAIRS.
161
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,315
THEY'RE FOLDING CHAIRS.
162
00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:58,552
AAH!
163
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:01,055
A FOLDING TABLE!
164
00:07:01,089 --> 00:07:04,425
GET OUTTA TOWN!
165
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,194
WELL, YOU COULD ALWAYS
USE IT FOR THE BAR.
166
00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:07,895
BAR? WHY DO WE
NEED A BAR?
167
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,131
WELL, IT'S A PARTY,
YOU KNOW.
YOU GOTTA SERVE DRINKS,
168
00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:12,833
LIQUOR, WHATNOT.
169
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,669
OK. BOOZE.
HOW MUCH DO WE GET?
170
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:18,239
I ALWAYS FIGURE
3/4 OF AN OUNCE OF LIQUOR
171
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:21,742
PER 20 POUNDS OF GUEST.
172
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,978
NOW, FOR A 200-POUND MAN,
YOU'RE GONNA NEED
173
00:07:24,012 --> 00:07:26,314
ABOUT A HALF A QUART
OF VODKA.
174
00:07:26,347 --> 00:07:27,715
GREAT. NOW I GOTTA
CALL EVERYBODY
175
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:30,351
TO ASK THEM
HOW MUCH THEY WEIGH.
176
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:32,686
PUT ME DOWN
AT 300 POUNDS.
177
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,224
WELL, I...
178
00:07:36,257 --> 00:07:37,992
I'M BIG-BONED.
179
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,297
BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY
180
00:07:43,331 --> 00:07:45,266
I KNOW A LOT.
181
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:46,834
SOME OF IT
I DON'T DARE TEACH.
182
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:47,868
IT'S A TERRIBLE DILEMMA.
183
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,270
MY STUDENTS ARE SLOW,
184
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:53,374
AND I AM
INCREDIBLY SMART.
185
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:57,745
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
WRITING THIS DOWN?
IT'S REALLY GOOD.
186
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,381
I HAVE A CONFESSION
TO MAKE.
187
00:08:00,414 --> 00:08:02,016
I'M NOT A REPORTER.
188
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:02,816
YOU'RE NOT?
189
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,685
OH, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
190
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:05,853
I'M JUST
ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
191
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,522
WHO CRAVES BEING AROUND
PERSONAL EXCELLENCE.
192
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:11,059
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
I'M THE INTELLECTUAL
EQUIVALENT
193
00:08:11,092 --> 00:08:12,826
OF A ROCK 'N' ROLL GROUPIE.
194
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,728
OHH...WELL,
195
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:15,429
THAT'S OK.
196
00:08:15,463 --> 00:08:16,430
I'VE ALWAYS
THOUGHT OF MYSELF
197
00:08:16,464 --> 00:08:20,701
AS THE INTELLECTUAL
EQUIVALENT OF
ROD STEWART.
198
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,204
SO HAVE I. EVER SINCE
I READ YOUR ESSAY
199
00:08:23,237 --> 00:08:24,672
IN THE UNIVERSITY PAPER.
200
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,908
MY OPEN LETTER TO FORMER
TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY
FREDERICO PEรA
201
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,544
ABOUT THE BENEFITS
OF TIME TRAVEL?
202
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:32,580
THAT'S THE ONE.
AND I THOUGHT,
203
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:35,149
HOW DID THIS BRILLIANT MIND
SUDDENLY APPEAR
OUT OF NOWHERE
204
00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:36,950
IN THE MIDDLE OF OHIO?
205
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:40,054
THAT'S WHEN I KNEW
I HAD TO COME AND FIND YOU.
206
00:08:40,088 --> 00:08:41,522
YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
CHARLOTTE?
207
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,924
I'M HAVING A SURPRISE
BIRTHDAY PARTY
TOMORROW NIGHT.
208
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:47,961
WHY DON'T YOU COME?
AND--AND BUY ME
SOMETHING NICE.
209
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:52,766
WELL, WHAT DO I GET
FOR THE MAN
WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING?
210
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,069
CASHMERE UNDERPANTS.
211
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,308
YOU SEE, WHAT I WOULD DO
IS CUT UP SOME VEGETABLES
212
00:09:00,341 --> 00:09:04,345
AND THEN HOLLOW OUT
A PRETTY RED CABBAGE
AND PUT YOUR DIP IN IT.
213
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,080
IT'S GENIUS!
214
00:09:06,114 --> 00:09:08,182
OH, CHARLOTTE,
THANK GOD YOU STOPPED BY.
215
00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:09,717
WHERE DID DICK
FIND YOU?
216
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,052
HEY. WHAT'S NED DOING?
217
00:09:12,086 --> 00:09:14,855
HEH HEH.
218
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,758
HE PROBABLY JUST SMELLS
PEANUT BUTTER.
219
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:20,694
YEAH, YEAH.
I'M THE SAME WAY.
220
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,463
CHARLOTTE.
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
221
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:23,697
ONLY SAVING OUR BUTTS.
222
00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,966
YEAH. MRS. DUBCEK,
SHE WAS OUR PARTY
EXPERT,
223
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,368
BUT SHE'S GONE AND
DISAPPEARED ON US.
224
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,037
BUT GOD SENT US DOWN
THIS ANGEL.
225
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,239
OH, HUSH, NOW.
226
00:09:31,272 --> 00:09:35,042
I'M JUST DOING MY PART
TO CELEBRATE
A GREAT MAN'S BIRTHDAY.
227
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,746
JUST WHEN I THINK
YOU'RE TOO GOOD
TO BE TRUE, YOU ARE.
228
00:09:40,181 --> 00:09:41,149
MAMA.
229
00:09:41,182 --> 00:09:42,683
THEY DON'T HAVE A SOFA.
230
00:09:46,287 --> 00:09:48,989
WELL, ANYWAY,
SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING
ABOUT ORGANIZING A PARTY.
231
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,559
OH, YEAH. TELL HIM
ABOUT THAT SOUP MIX
WITH THE SOUR CREAM.
232
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,061
OH, NOW, IT'S ON
THE BACK OF THE PACKET.
233
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,397
THEY PUT YOUR RECIPE
ON THE BACK
OF THE PACKET?
234
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,898
SHE'S BEEN PUBLISHED!
235
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,200
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE ALL
236
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:01,169
PUTTING MY
NUMBER-ONE FAN
TO WORK.
237
00:10:01,202 --> 00:10:04,905
OH...PISH TOSH.
238
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:08,576
I HAVE A CONFESSION.
239
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:12,646
BEFORE I CAME HERE,
I WAS SOCIAL DIRECTOR
FOR CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES,
240
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:17,685
AND...IF ONLY I HAD A LIST
SO I'D KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE
WERE COMING.
241
00:10:20,388 --> 00:10:22,823
WE HAVE SUCH A LIST.
242
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,525
A GUEST LIST.
243
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:27,428
HARRY, GO GET IT!
IT'S IN THE OTHER ROOM!
244
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,238
YOU KNOW,
I DON'T GET TO SAY THIS
245
00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:39,273
TO A LOT OF PEOPLE,
BUT...
246
00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:41,975
I'M SMARTER THAN YOU.
247
00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:48,048
HELLO, BUG?
248
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,650
YES, UH,
I'M CALLING TO TELL YOU
249
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,652
THAT DR. SOLOMON'S PARTY
HAS BEEN CANCELED.
250
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:55,789
HE HAS A TERRIBLE CASE
OF DIARRHEA AND HE WANTS
EVERYONE TO KNOW.
251
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,426
YES. BYE-BYE.
252
00:10:58,459 --> 00:10:59,260
HAVE YOU GOT EVERYTHING?
253
00:10:59,293 --> 00:11:00,694
YES, MAMA.
254
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:01,962
GOOD BOY.
255
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,397
[THUMPING]
256
00:11:03,431 --> 00:11:04,665
HEY, YOU!
257
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:08,436
Charlotte:
TITTY TITTY BANG BANG.
258
00:11:08,469 --> 00:11:09,970
ONE MORE NOISE
OUT OF YOU
259
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,040
AND NED HERE
WILL POP YOUR NECK
LIKE A PENCIL.
260
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,676
I GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
261
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,814
OOH.
262
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,049
I GOT YOU SOMETHING.
263
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,984
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
264
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,353
DON'T YOU WANT TO
GIVE THAT TO ME LATER,
265
00:11:25,386 --> 00:11:29,423
SHOULD SOME SORT OF...
PARTY ARISE?
266
00:11:29,457 --> 00:11:31,825
I GOT A MESSAGE
THE PARTY WAS CANCELED.
267
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:34,295
VERY GOOD.
268
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:35,429
I GOT THAT MESSAGE, TOO.
269
00:11:35,463 --> 00:11:37,798
MM. SO I GUESS
I WON'T BE SEEING
EITHER OF YOU
270
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:41,201
AROUND, UH, 7:00-ISH?
271
00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:42,002
THAT'S RIGHT.
272
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,437
GOOD. GOOD.
273
00:11:43,471 --> 00:11:44,472
OH, OH, AND BY THE WAY,
274
00:11:44,505 --> 00:11:46,774
DON'T FORGET TO PARK
WHERE I CAN'T SEE
YOUR CAR.
275
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,809
NOT A PROBLEM.
276
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,044
YEP. I'LL NEVER
SEE IT COMING.
277
00:11:56,584 --> 00:12:00,688
WELL, WELL, HERE I AM.
278
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:03,924
HOME AT LAST.
279
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,260
HELLO!
280
00:12:06,294 --> 00:12:09,697
ANYBODY HO-O-OME?!
281
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,031
I GUESS I'M HERE
282
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,034
ALL ALO-ONE!
283
00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:34,922
[DRILL BUZZES]
284
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,189
MAMA.
285
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,325
HE'S COMIN' AROUND.
286
00:12:37,358 --> 00:12:38,726
UH--UH, CHARLOTTE,
287
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,528
UH, WH-WH-WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
288
00:12:40,561 --> 00:12:42,129
WELL, FIRST WE'RE GONNA
CUT YOUR HEAD OPEN.
289
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,464
WHAT? WHY?!
290
00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:44,665
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
291
00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:46,233
COULD IT POSSIBLY BE
BECAUSE
292
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,668
YOU'RE AN ALIEN?!
293
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:48,569
ALIEN?
294
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:49,470
[HIGH-PITCHED
NERVOUS LAUGH]
HA HA HA HA!
295
00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:51,639
THAT'S FUNNY.
296
00:12:51,672 --> 00:12:54,375
YOU'RE A VERY FUNNY
WOMAN. HA HA HA...
297
00:12:54,408 --> 00:12:55,909
YOU THINK I'M STUPID?
298
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,678
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU
FOR OVER A YEAR NOW,
299
00:12:57,711 --> 00:12:59,680
AND ALL SIGNS
POINT TO ALIEN.
300
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:01,515
W-WELL,
DON'T SOME SIGNS
301
00:13:01,549 --> 00:13:05,719
POINT TO ECCENTRIC
OR DUTCH OR SOMETHING?
302
00:13:05,753 --> 00:13:08,889
THERE ARE POWERFUL
ELECTROMAGNETIC SIGNALS
COMING FROM THIS HOUSE.
303
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:12,860
OH, WE'VE BEEN
MICROWAVING
WITH THE DOOR OPEN.
304
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,596
THERE'S A TRANSMITTER
HERE SOMEWHERE.
305
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,130
AND WE CAN'T FIND IT.
306
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:19,400
I HAVE A THEORY
IT'S INSTALLED
307
00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:20,734
INSIDE OF YOU.
308
00:13:20,768 --> 00:13:21,969
[DRILL BUZZES]
309
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:24,304
HELP! HELP!
HELP! HELP! HE--
310
00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:25,939
Don: HELLO?
311
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,708
HELLO! IS ANYBODY HOME?
312
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:29,643
DAMN! GO SEE WHO THAT IS.
313
00:13:33,381 --> 00:13:34,615
HI.
314
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,850
WHO ARE YOU?
315
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,887
MAMA, THERE'S
A POLICEMAN OUT HERE.
316
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,288
HELLO, OFFICER.
317
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,391
HI. UH, YOU TWO
HERE FOR THE PARTY?
318
00:13:43,424 --> 00:13:44,958
OH, DIDN'T YOU
GET A CALL?
319
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,827
NO. WHEN'S IT START?
320
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:47,928
YOU KNOW,
I'M ON DUTY.
321
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:52,165
I'M ONLY GONNA HAVE TIME
FOR, LIKE 2 OR 3 DRINKS.
322
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,601
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
323
00:13:53,634 --> 00:13:55,068
WELL, IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY,
324
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,337
SO EVERYBODY'S HIDING
DOWN IN THE BASEMENT.
325
00:13:57,371 --> 00:13:59,072
OH. HA HA HA!
326
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:00,240
HA HA HA HA.
327
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,475
HA HA.
328
00:14:04,812 --> 00:14:06,113
YOU'RE WHO AGAIN?
329
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:06,880
OH.
330
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:07,815
CATERING.
331
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:08,281
[SNAPS RUBBER GLOVE]
332
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,150
AH! HA HA HA...
333
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,419
COME ON, LET'S GO!
334
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,587
OH, OK.
335
00:14:13,621 --> 00:14:14,455
AFTER YOU.
336
00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:16,924
NO, AFTER YOU.
337
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,793
YAAAHH!
338
00:14:22,763 --> 00:14:25,132
WOW. I HAVEN'T BEEN
DRUGGED AND TIED
UP LIKE THIS
339
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:29,537
SINCE VALENTINE'S DAY.
340
00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:30,438
OHH!
341
00:14:30,471 --> 00:14:31,872
IT'S DON!
HE'S CAPTURED THEM
342
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,475
AND COME TO RESCUE US.
343
00:14:37,411 --> 00:14:38,111
OH...
344
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:42,516
WHY DOES HE
HAVE TO BE SO TIRED?
345
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:43,951
Tommy: ALL RIGHT,
THAT IS IT!
346
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,118
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
347
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:46,954
LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW.
348
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:47,855
I JUST WISH I KNEW
349
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,823
WHICH ONE OF YOU
HAS THE TRANSMITTER.
350
00:14:49,857 --> 00:14:52,493
THAT'S THE HEAD
I REALLY WANT TO CUT OPEN.
351
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,196
* LA LA LA...
352
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:21,822
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
353
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:23,090
I'LL GET IT.
354
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,760
MARY ALBRIGHT'S OFFICE.
355
00:15:26,794 --> 00:15:29,530
MMMPH! MMPHMMPHH!
356
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:30,531
OH, YEAH.
357
00:15:30,564 --> 00:15:32,299
OH, BABY.
MMMPHHGGHH!
358
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,201
MMPHHHGH!
I'M HOT NOW.
359
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,703
DO ME.
MMMPHH!
360
00:15:35,736 --> 00:15:37,538
MMMPHHH!
DO ME ALL NIGHT.
361
00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:40,874
AAHMMPHHH!
362
00:15:40,908 --> 00:15:42,543
I KNOW IT'S YOU, DICK.
363
00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:46,379
[MUFFLED] DAMN!
364
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,348
THAT WAS DICK?
365
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:52,185
YES, WITH HIS TYPICAL
SICK, PATHETIC
CRY FOR ATTENTION.
366
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,321
OH, GOD,
IT IS HIS BIRTHDAY,
367
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:57,625
AND HIS PARTY
WAS CANCELED.
368
00:15:57,658 --> 00:16:00,327
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA BRING
HIS PRESENT ON OVER THERE.
369
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,529
I'LL GO WITH YOU.
370
00:16:01,562 --> 00:16:02,996
I WANT TO SEE
THE LOOK ON HIS FACE
371
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:05,232
WHEN I TELL HIM
I DIDN'T GET HIM
ANYTHING.
372
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,505
DIALING THE PHONE
WITH YOUR NOSE.
373
00:16:11,539 --> 00:16:14,241
A CLASSIC ALIEN MANEUVER.
374
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:18,245
ONCE I'M DONE WITH YOU,
EVERYONE WILL KNOW THE TRUTH.
375
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,247
GO ON, ADMIT IT.
YOU'RE ALIENS!
376
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,181
NO!
377
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,850
OH, WELL, MAYBE
I'M JUST WASTING MY TIME
378
00:16:22,883 --> 00:16:23,851
WITH YOU, THEN.
379
00:16:23,884 --> 00:16:25,218
MAYBE I'LL JUST
GO DOWN THERE
TO THE BASEMENT
380
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:28,188
AND CRACK OPEN
THAT BIG BLONDE'S HEAD.
381
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:32,893
UH--NO! NO! NO! WAIT!
382
00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:34,928
ALL RIGHT,
I ADMIT IT.
I'M AN ALIEN.
383
00:16:34,962 --> 00:16:35,629
I KNEW IT.
384
00:16:35,663 --> 00:16:37,064
BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE.
385
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,533
THE OTHER THREE
ARE INNOCENT BYSTANDERS.
386
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,301
DO WHAT YOU WILL
WITH ME!
387
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,638
WHICH I HOPE
IS A SEVERE SCOLDING.
388
00:16:44,672 --> 00:16:46,607
BUT SPARE THEM!
389
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:47,875
I DON'T THINK SO.
390
00:16:47,908 --> 00:16:49,176
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
391
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,845
WE COME IN PEACE!
WE MEAN YOU NO HARM.
392
00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:53,146
NO HARM?
393
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,916
I'M WELL AWARE
OF WHAT YOUR KIND DOES.
394
00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:57,651
HARVESTING EGGS
FOR YOUR SLAVE RACE,
395
00:16:57,685 --> 00:16:59,753
SUCKING THE LIFE
FROM THE INNOCENT,
396
00:16:59,787 --> 00:17:03,456
PROBING THE BUTT
OF THE POOR AMERICAN
FARMER!
397
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,959
WE NEVER DO ANY OF THAT.
398
00:17:05,993 --> 00:17:09,997
WELL, THERE WAS
THIS ONE FARMER
NEAR AKRON.
399
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,799
YOU KNOW...
400
00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:14,367
BUT HE WAS ASKING FOR IT!
401
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,769
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH!
CORK HIM!
402
00:17:15,803 --> 00:17:17,971
NO! NO! PLEASE!
LET ME--AAH--
403
00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:19,607
DR. SOLOMON?
404
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,775
DR. SOLOMON?
405
00:17:21,809 --> 00:17:22,475
EXCUSE ME.
406
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:23,844
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
407
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,512
I CALLED YOU AND TOLD YOU
THERE WAS NO PARTY.
408
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,381
YEAH, I KNOW.
409
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,217
WILL DO THINGS
TO TRICK ME,
410
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,019
AND THEN HE YELLS AT ME.
411
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,020
UH, YOU KNOW,
412
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,055
ALL THE OTHER GUESTS
ARE HIDING IN THE BASEMENT,
413
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,690
SO COME ON, LET'S GO.
414
00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:39,226
I KNEW
THERE WAS A PARTY. OH.
415
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,828
OH, NO, NO.
AFTER YOU.
416
00:17:40,861 --> 00:17:44,564
Mary: HELLO!
417
00:17:44,598 --> 00:17:45,966
I THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING DOWNSTAIRS.
418
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:47,067
NOT JUST YET.
419
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,736
OH, I LEFT MY GIFT
IN THE CAR.
420
00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:50,070
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
421
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,471
SHOULDN'T WE BE
GETTING TO THE BASEMENT?
422
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,873
UH...
BEFORE WE GO DOWN,
423
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,742
HOW ABOUT A NICE
GLASS OF WINE?
424
00:17:54,775 --> 00:17:55,709
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.
425
00:17:55,743 --> 00:17:58,812
HONEY, GET THAT
SPECIAL BOTTLE
OUT OF MY BAG.
426
00:17:58,846 --> 00:18:00,180
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
INTO THE KITCHEN.
427
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,082
LET'S MOVE IT!
GRAB YOUR GLASS!
428
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:05,052
I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.
429
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,453
I THINK
YOU'LL LIKE THIS.
430
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,955
IT'S
A VERY GOOD YEAR.
431
00:18:07,988 --> 00:18:10,057
I'M AFRAID
I DON'T LIKE RED WINE.
432
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:10,891
I LO IT.
433
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:13,493
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
434
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:16,063
POUR HERS FIRST.
435
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,700
DON'T WE NEED
A TOAST?
436
00:18:19,733 --> 00:18:20,500
ALL RIGHT.
437
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,369
HERE'S A TOAST
TO HAPPY BIRTHDAYS.
438
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,037
HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!
HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!
439
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:29,276
HMM.
440
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:30,944
WHAT'S THAT AFTERTASTE?
441
00:18:34,081 --> 00:18:36,149
Mary: HELLO! I'M BACK!
442
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,517
OH, CRAP!
443
00:18:40,087 --> 00:18:41,722
DID EVERYONE
GO DOWNSTAIRS?
444
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:45,425
OH, THEY WENT DOWN,
ALL RIGHT.
445
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,526
SHUT UP, HONEY.
446
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,695
WHERE'S
THE BIRTHDAY BOY?
447
00:18:47,728 --> 00:18:48,696
OH, HE'S LATE.
448
00:18:48,729 --> 00:18:49,697
OF COURSE.
449
00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:53,266
HOW ABOUT A GLASS OF WINE
WHILE YOU'RE WAITING?
450
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,903
IT'S SO NICE OF YOU
TO HELP OUT, CHARLOTTE.
451
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,940
MM.
452
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,041
DICK'S LATE.
453
00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:03,276
THAT'S TYPICAL.
454
00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:08,315
HE PLANS HIS OWN
SURPRISE PARTY,
455
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:09,616
AND THEN
IT'S CALLED OFF,
456
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,618
AND THEN
IT'S BACK ON.
457
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,492
I GUESS WE DON'T KNOW
WHETHER IT'S ON OR OFF!
458
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:22,529
MMM. THIS IS SCREW-TOP.
THIS IS GOOD.
459
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:32,372
IF DICK'S NOT HERE
IN 15 MINUTES,
I AM LEAVING.
460
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,341
WHEN A MAN DOESN'T HAVE
THE COMMON COURTESY TO--
461
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,008
OOH!
462
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:38,879
IT'S OFFICIAL.
463
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:43,350
THIS IS THE WORST PARTY
I'VE EVER BEEN TO.
464
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,117
SALLY!
465
00:19:44,151 --> 00:19:45,986
STAND WITH ME
IF YOU CAN.
466
00:19:47,054 --> 00:19:48,989
UHH! UHH!
467
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,224
I HAVE A--A JACKKNIFE
IN MY POCKET.
468
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,293
IF YOU CAN REACH IT,
WE CAN CUT THROUGH
THESE ROPES.
469
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,161
ALL RIGHT.
470
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,362
HARRY, LEAN TO YOUR LEFT.
471
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:56,363
OK.
472
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,198
SALLY, TURN RIGHT.
TURN RIGHT.
473
00:19:58,231 --> 00:19:59,632
ALL RIGHT. AND IT'S--
474
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,068
CAN YOU FEEL IT?
IT'S RIGHT WHERE
YOUR HAND IS.
475
00:20:01,101 --> 00:20:02,903
I CAN'T REACH IT.
476
00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:04,237
KEEP TRYING.
YOU'RE ALMOST THERE.
477
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:06,006
ALL RIGHT. YEAH.
478
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,407
YEAH. OH. OH.
479
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,642
OK, CAREFUL, SALLY,
THAT'S NOT...
480
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:10,377
UH...
481
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,078
OH...
482
00:20:11,111 --> 00:20:12,379
OHH...
483
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,982
OOH, BOY.
484
00:20:15,015 --> 00:20:16,750
I GOT IT.
485
00:20:20,854 --> 00:20:22,956
WELL, DON'T JUST
STAND THERE.
CUT US OUT.
486
00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:26,760
YOU KNOW,
487
00:20:26,794 --> 00:20:29,162
I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN A HOSTAGE SITUATION
BEFORE,
488
00:20:29,196 --> 00:20:31,832
BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
489
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,038
[BUZZING]
490
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,639
OH, MY GOD, DICK!
491
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,008
OH, GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
492
00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:43,944
STAND BACK
OR THE SPACEMAN GETS IT!
493
00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:45,112
FREEZE, EVERYBODY!
OH, MY GOD!
494
00:20:45,145 --> 00:20:46,046
FBI! FREEZE!
495
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,181
Ned: MAMA.
PUT THOSE TWO
IN CUFFS.
496
00:20:48,215 --> 00:20:49,482
SOMEBODY UNTIE THAT MAN.
497
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,985
Charlotte:
NO! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
498
00:20:52,019 --> 00:20:53,286
HE'S ONE OF THEM!
499
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,655
LET ME OPEN HIM UP.
YOU'LL SEE HE'S AN ALIEN.
500
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:58,025
YEAH, RIGHT, CHARLOTTE.
SO WERE THE OTHER 8
YOU CUT UP.
501
00:20:58,058 --> 00:21:00,260
OK, FINE.
BUT THIS ONE IS.
502
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:01,461
HE ADMITTED IT.
503
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,063
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.
504
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,631
YOU CAN'T HIDE!
505
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,466
ALIENS!
506
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,869
ALIENS!
507
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,174
ALIENS, HUH?
508
00:21:14,207 --> 00:21:14,441
[ALL LAUGHING]
509
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:17,010
YEAH.
510
00:21:17,044 --> 00:21:27,554
THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING
I EVER HEARD!
511
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:30,357
YOU KNOW,
I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE
YOU FEDERAL BOYS
512
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,393
LEFT A CRUCIAL
PIECE OF EVIDENCE
AT THE CRIME SCENE.
513
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:34,694
THE GNOME.
514
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:35,462
THE GNOME?
515
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:37,430
YEAH. THE BLUNT INSTRUMENT.
516
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,500
AND LOCAL BOY DONNIE
PICKED IT UP FOR YOU.
517
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:43,136
YEP. JUST COVERING
YOUR ASS.
518
00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:47,841
SHALL WE STEAL
THE CAR, MAMA?
519
00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:48,876
NO, HONEY.
520
00:21:48,909 --> 00:21:50,677
THAT WOULD BE WRONG.
34513
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.