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1
00:00:06,675 --> 00:00:10,411
OH, DON, WHY DO
YOU HAVE TO GO?
2
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,380
WHY, SALLY?
3
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:15,283
BECAUSE 10 YEARS AGO,
I TOOK AN OATH--
4
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,952
AN OATH TO PROTECT
AND SERVE THIS CITY,
5
00:00:17,986 --> 00:00:22,456
AND NOTHING--
NOT EVEN THE PROSPECT
OF LYING IN BED, NAKED,
6
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,593
WITH THE SEXIEST,
MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN--
7
00:00:24,626 --> 00:00:26,728
WHAT THE HELL
AM I DOING?!
8
00:00:33,735 --> 00:00:35,704
OH...OH, SALLY...
I'VE GOTTA TELL YOU
9
00:00:35,737 --> 00:00:39,007
THAT THIS IS
THE BEST RELATIONSHIP
I'VE EVER BEEN IN.
10
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:46,681
OH, WOW, DON...
THAT IS SO...
11
00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:50,451
SO...
12
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,153
WOW.
13
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,922
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
14
00:00:53,955 --> 00:00:57,425
NOTHING. I GUESS I
JUST NEVER THOUGHT
15
00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:01,562
ABOUT YOU HAVING
ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP
BEFORE.
16
00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:04,132
NO ONE CAN HOLD
A CANDLE TO YOU, SALLY.
17
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,136
THAT'S REAL SWEET,
DON.
18
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,346
TO PENDELTON'S NEW DEAN
OF ARTS AND SCIENCES.
19
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:53,748
OHH...
20
00:01:53,782 --> 00:01:55,183
THAT'S YOU, MARY.
21
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:58,286
I KNOW.
22
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,421
NOW, IF YOU WOULDN'T
MIND TALKING BUSINESS
JUST FOR A MOMENT--
23
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,490
OH, DICK, CAN'T IT
WAIT UNTIL MONDAY?
24
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,425
OH, I UNDERSTAND.
25
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:09,931
ON MONDAY, I'M
GONNA BE ASKING YOU
26
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,099
WHAT THE SCHOOL
INTENDS TO DO ABOUT
27
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,768
THE DECAYING STATUE
OF ADMIRAL PENDELTON.
28
00:02:13,802 --> 00:02:15,036
THE ONE WITH
THE MISSING ARM?
29
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:16,771
IT'S AN EYESORE.
WHAT'S GOING TO BE DONE?
30
00:02:16,805 --> 00:02:20,041
I WANT AN ANSWER,
AND I WANT IT NOW!
31
00:02:20,074 --> 00:02:23,344
THAT'S WHAT I'LL BE
SAYING ON MONDAY.
32
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:26,514
DICK, THE UNIVERSITY IS
IN A FINANCIAL CRUNCH.
33
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,517
THE BIOLOGY LAB IS
DISSECTING ROAD KILL.
34
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,886
THE STATUE IS
NOT A PRIORITY.
35
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:35,423
YES, WELL, I'LL BE
INTERESTED IN HEARING
WHAT YOU THINK ON MONDAY.
36
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,624
THANK YOU,
MY GOOD MAN.
37
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,625
OH, NO. HERE,
LET ME GET--
38
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:41,595
OH, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO
NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO
39
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,998
THIS IS MY TREAT.
40
00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:45,133
DICK, I'M A DEAN.
41
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,235
THAT PROMOTION CAME
WITH A NICE RAISE.
42
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,438
WELL, YOU'RE NOT MAKING
ANY MORE THAN ME.
43
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,106
A LITTLE MORE.
44
00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,876
HOW MUCH MORE?
45
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:56,610
A LOT MORE.
46
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:57,846
REALLY?
47
00:02:57,879 --> 00:03:00,314
WELL, I DON'T CARE.
IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE
TO ME.
48
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,682
I'M THE MAN
AT THIS TABLE,
49
00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:03,417
AND I INSIST ON
PAYING FOR DINNER.
50
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:04,352
FINE.
51
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,620
OH!
52
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,422
WOWSIE.
53
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:11,793
MARY, COULD I
BORROW $200?
54
00:03:11,826 --> 00:03:13,828
DICK, THIS
IS ONLY $80.
55
00:03:13,862 --> 00:03:15,830
I KNOW. I ALSO WANT
TO BUY A CUISINART.
56
00:03:21,736 --> 00:03:24,038
DUBCEK'S GRANDSON
IS SELLING LEMONADE
DOWN THE STREET
57
00:03:24,072 --> 00:03:26,574
FOR 25 CENTS A SHOT.
58
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,943
25 CENTS?
FOR A LOUSY CUP
OF LEMONADE?
59
00:03:28,977 --> 00:03:30,912
DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND
OF MARKUP THAT MUST BE?
60
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:34,215
THIS KID'S GOTTA BE
MAKING A FORTUNE.
61
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,650
WELL, HE WAS WEARING
A DIGITAL WATCH.
62
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,886
SEE?
63
00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:41,122
WELL, I JUST FOUND OUT
SOMETHING ABOUT DON
I NEVER KNEW.
64
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:44,125
THAT HIS BACK IS
LITERALLY COVERED
IN PIMPLES.
65
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:49,630
WORSE. HE HAD ANOTHER
RELATIONSHIP BEFORE ME.
66
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:50,031
NO.
NO.
67
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,666
YES!
68
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:56,771
OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS...
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
69
00:03:56,805 --> 00:03:59,941
YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTY?
70
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:02,043
TALL...BLOND...
71
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,544
WOW. SHE SOUNDS HOT.
72
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,414
SHUT UP.
73
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,382
I GOTTA FIGURE OUT
WHERE SHE WORKS,
WHAT SHE DOES.
74
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:09,750
I GOTTA KNOW
EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.
75
00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:10,751
WHY?
76
00:04:10,785 --> 00:04:13,687
'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT HER.
77
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,156
WELL, SALLY, I'M OFF.
78
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:16,825
UH, DON, UM...
79
00:04:16,858 --> 00:04:19,727
THI-THIS TABLE'S
A LITTLE WOBBLY.
80
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:25,967
UM, COULD I USE
YOUR ADDRESS BOOK
TO PROP IT UP?
81
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,036
CAN'T YOU JUST
USE A MATCHBOOK?
82
00:04:28,069 --> 00:04:29,938
I DON'T WANNA USE
A MATCHBOOK.
83
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:38,913
I WANNA USE
YOUR WIDDLE
ADDWESS BOOK.
84
00:04:38,947 --> 00:04:41,515
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY SO TO BEGIN WITH?
85
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,647
I'M SUPPOSED
TO GIVE YOU THIS.
86
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,449
"DR. AND MRS.
ALBRIGHT"?
87
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:16,417
NO, THIS ISN'T
FOR ME.
88
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:19,854
THIS IS FOR MARY
AND HER WIFE.
89
00:05:19,888 --> 00:05:22,356
I THINK YOU'RE
MRS. ALBRIGHT.
90
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:26,660
ME? AH, HA
HA HA HA HA!
91
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:27,996
OH, THAT'S RICH!
92
00:05:28,029 --> 00:05:30,064
WAIT'LL MARY
HEARS ABOUT THIS.
93
00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:32,733
HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA!
94
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,406
RIGHT OVER YOUR HEADS.
95
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,774
MARY! MARY!
96
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,810
MARY--HA HA HA!
97
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,614
LOOK AT THIS INVITATION.
IT'S HILARIOUS!
98
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:47,515
IT'S A TYPO.
99
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,784
YES! HA HA HA!
100
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,554
DICK, I'VE BEEN
MEANING TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THIS.
101
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,990
NOW, YOU'RE GOING
TO BE ON MY ARM
AT THIS EVENT,
102
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,492
SO I WANT YOU
TO LOOK YOUR BEST.
103
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:01,829
SO, HERE, TAKE
MY CREDIT CARD
104
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,865
AND GO OUT
AND BUY YOURSELF
A NICE OUTFIT.
105
00:06:04,899 --> 00:06:06,734
HOW MUCH CAN I SPEND?
106
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:07,969
WHATEVER.
107
00:06:08,002 --> 00:06:10,304
WHAT IF I FIND A BELT
THAT GOES WITH MY SOCKS?
108
00:06:10,338 --> 00:06:11,472
FINE.
109
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,241
CAN I BUY A CUISINART?
110
00:06:13,274 --> 00:06:15,143
YOU ALREADY BOUGHT
A CUISINART.
111
00:06:15,176 --> 00:06:17,178
ER...SOMEBODY
PUT PENCILS IN IT.
112
00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:28,422
HI. I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF
J.D. POWER AND ASSOCIATES.
113
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:31,960
HOW MANY LICENSED DRIVERS DO
YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?
114
00:06:31,993 --> 00:06:37,831
MM-HMM. AND HOW MANY HAVE
DATED POLICE OFFICERS?
115
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:41,702
YOUR OLD ROOMMATE DID.
OK, CAN YOU DESCRIBE HIM?
116
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:46,407
"USED TO SNEAK HOME
DURING THE SHIFT." UH-HUH...
117
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:51,712
"STRIPPED TO HIS
UNDERWEAR." RIGHT...
118
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:55,116
AND WATCH HIS SOAP OPERA?
119
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:57,718
THE BOLD AND
THE BEAUTIFUL?
120
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,620
I AM IN BUSINESS!
121
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,527
HI. CAN I HELP YOU?
122
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,628
ARE YOU TINA?
123
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,998
NO.
GO AWAY.
124
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:11,665
HI. I'M TINA.
125
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:12,533
WERE YOU LOOKING
FOR A CROCKPOT?
126
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,235
YEAH.
HOLD UP, YOU'RE TINA?
127
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,569
HAVE YOU LOOKED
AT THIS ONE?
128
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:19,107
THANK YOU, GOD.
WHAT?
129
00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:22,543
I AM SO MUCH HOTTER
THAN YOU!
130
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,645
THANK YOU!
131
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:29,050
HEY, HELLO, THERE.
132
00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,818
WELL, IF IT ISN'T
CHANCELLOR STEVENS.
133
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:34,088
DEAN ALBRIGHT,
HELLO.
134
00:07:34,122 --> 00:07:35,489
CHANCELLOR, IT'S
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
135
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:36,757
TELL ME, MARY,
136
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,592
I HEARD YOU HAD A MOST
PROMISING MEETING
137
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:39,827
WITH PROFESSOR GOLLIN.
138
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,596
I THINK IT WENT WELL.
KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED.
139
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:43,164
[CLEARS THROAT]
140
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,865
HE'S AN INTERESTING MAN.
141
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,435
YOU'VE READ HIS PAPER
ON ETHNOBOTANY?
142
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,369
[CLEARS THROAT]
143
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:50,138
I'VE JUST STARTED IT,
BUT IT'S FASCINATING.
144
00:07:50,171 --> 00:07:52,006
[CLEARS THROAT]
145
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:56,110
[HAWKING LOUDLY]
146
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,781
HELLO.
147
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,317
I'M SORRY. THIS IS
MY BOYFRIEND DICK.
148
00:08:03,351 --> 00:08:04,118
NICE TO MEET YOU.
149
00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:05,453
ACTUALLY,
I'M A PHYSICS--
150
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:08,689
YOU MADE A GREAT END-AROUND
ON THE SUBCOMMITTEE.
151
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,058
OH, THAT.
152
00:08:10,091 --> 00:08:11,492
IT TURNS OUT IT WAS
PROFESSOR BRIGGS
153
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:12,726
THAT WAS CREATING
THE LOGJAM.
154
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,128
YOU KNOW, I FIND--
HOW'D YOU DO IT?
155
00:08:14,162 --> 00:08:15,563
I JUST DANGLED
THAT ARTS GRANT
IN FRONT OF HIM.
156
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,199
THE ARTS GRANT IS
A MIGHTY BIG CARROT.
THE INTERESTING--
157
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:19,467
IT SURE IS.
158
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,501
CARROTS--
AND THEN?
159
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,703
I--
OH, IT'S JUST
WAIT AND SEE.
160
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,105
CARROTS--
YES, I SUPPOSE.
161
00:08:24,138 --> 00:08:25,573
HOW, UH...IF--
162
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,074
DRINK?
163
00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:27,141
CARROTS--
SURE.
164
00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:29,009
I--
165
00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:30,678
BYE.
166
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,481
HELLO. I'M DEAN
GUTHRIDGE'S WIFE.
167
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,216
AND I'M DEAN
SMITH'S WIFE.
168
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,685
HI. I'M DEAN ALBRIGHT'S
WIFE.
169
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,526
HARRY, IS IT
REALLY NECESSARY
170
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:49,097
THAT I WEAR
A BLINDFOLD?
171
00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:53,767
TOMMY, IT'S A BLIND
TASTE TEST. OK?
172
00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:55,503
NOW, IF WE'RE GONNA BE
IN THE LEMONADE GAME,
173
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,971
WE'VE GOTTA HAVE
A COMPETITIVE PRODUCT.
174
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,541
NOW, WHICH ONE
TASTES BETTER?
175
00:09:03,244 --> 00:09:05,246
WELL, THIS ONE'S
A LITTLE BLAND.
176
00:09:05,279 --> 00:09:06,347
A LITTLE BLAND.
177
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,184
OK. THIS ONE'S
ROOT BEER.
178
00:09:12,353 --> 00:09:12,853
YOU GUYS!
179
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,288
I SAW HER!
I SAW HER!
180
00:09:14,322 --> 00:09:15,156
YOU SAW TINA?
181
00:09:15,189 --> 00:09:17,091
YES, AND I'M SO MUCH
HOTTER THAN SHE IS,
182
00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:19,460
IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.
183
00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:20,394
GOOD. GOOD FOR YOU.
184
00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:21,729
AND YOU KNOW WHAT
THE BEST PART IS?
185
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,764
WHAT?
186
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,066
WELL, THAT IS
THE BEST PART.
187
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,768
YOU KNOW, I WONDER WHAT
DON EVER SAW IN HER
188
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:28,536
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
189
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:31,905
AH, WELL, YOU GOT--
190
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,742
WELL, I MEAN, IT--
191
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,644
OBVIOUSLY--
192
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,149
YEAH, WHAT COULD IT BE?
193
00:09:41,182 --> 00:09:42,450
WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE?
194
00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:44,585
I MEAN, YOU'RE
NOT IN COMPETITION
WITH THIS PERSON.
195
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:47,788
OF COURSE I'M IN COMPETITION
WITH HER, TOMMY.
196
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,357
SHE'S HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND.
197
00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:50,124
YEAH. EX.
198
00:09:50,158 --> 00:09:51,225
WHY AM I EVEN
TALKING TO YOU?
199
00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:52,226
YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN.
200
00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:55,062
OOCH! THAT'S GOTTA HURT.
201
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,398
I MEAN, WHAT DOES
THIS TINA HAVE
THAT I DON'T?
202
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,401
HER BACK IS LITERALLY
COVERED IN PIMPLES.
203
00:10:03,371 --> 00:10:05,539
I GOTTA FIGURE OUT
WHAT I'M UP AGAINST HERE.
204
00:10:05,573 --> 00:10:07,208
I'M GONNA GO BUY
THAT CROCKPOT.
205
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:08,709
WE HAVE A CROCKPOT.
206
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,617
WE JUST LOST
ONE CROCKPOT
207
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:19,653
AND GAINED
ONE CRACKPOT.
208
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,355
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.
209
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,229
HI, DICK.
210
00:10:28,262 --> 00:10:29,997
DEAN ALBRIGHT.
211
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:33,634
OH...TONIGHT WAS FUN,
WASN'T IT?
212
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,336
BOY, IF THIS IS
WHAT IT'S LIKE
BEING DEAN,
213
00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:38,839
I SAY BRING IT ON!
214
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,575
I'M SLEEPY.
215
00:10:41,609 --> 00:10:42,843
WHAT'S WRONG?
216
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:46,614
WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW,
I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU.
217
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,416
IT WAS THE PARTY,
WASN'T IT?
218
00:10:48,449 --> 00:10:51,118
I'M CLOSING MY EYES NOW.
219
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,221
OH. OK.
220
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:57,891
COME ON,
PROFESSOR SOLOMON.
221
00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,493
TEACH ME A LESSON.
222
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,699
NO.
223
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:09,337
OK. IF YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO GIVE IT TO ME,
224
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:12,840
I'M GONNA COME
OVER THERE AND GET IT.
225
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,475
FINE!
226
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,210
JUST MAKE IT QUICK.
227
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,349
DICK, I'M SORRY.
228
00:11:21,382 --> 00:11:23,884
I KNOW
I'VE BEEN A LITTLE
SELF-INVOLVED LATELY,
229
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,719
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT
I'VE BEEN BUSY.
230
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,054
BUSY DOING WHAT?
231
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,156
WELL...
232
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,824
THINKING ABOUT
THAT IDEA OF YOURS
233
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,361
ABOUT RESTORING
THE STATUE.
234
00:11:33,394 --> 00:11:35,429
I THOUGHT WE DIDN'T
HAVE ENOUGH MONEY.
235
00:11:35,463 --> 00:11:37,965
WELL, YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO RAISE THE MONEY.
236
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,533
A FUND-RAISER!
237
00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:41,435
THAT WILL BE
YOUR PROJECT.
238
00:11:41,469 --> 00:11:42,936
MARY, YOU MEAN IT?
239
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,305
YES, DICK.
240
00:11:44,338 --> 00:11:46,707
OH, THANKS, MARY.
241
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:47,975
THANK YOU.
242
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,644
OH, I CAN SEE IT NOW,
ALL RESTORED,
243
00:11:50,678 --> 00:11:52,913
THE MAJESTIC IMAGE
OF ADMIRAL PENDELTON
244
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,848
RIDING HIS WIFE
INTO BATTLE.
245
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,589
THAT'S HIS HORSE.
246
00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:02,890
AH.
247
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,225
THAT DOES MAKE
MORE SENSE.
248
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,465
SO I'M RACKING
MY BRAIN--
249
00:12:11,499 --> 00:12:14,302
WHAT'S A FRESH, FUN NEW
WAY TO RAISE $10,000?
250
00:12:14,335 --> 00:12:15,168
SOMETHING CRAZY,
251
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,070
BUT MAKES PERFECT SENSE
ALL AT ONCE.
252
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,072
AND I'M WALKING BY
FASHIONS BY PEPE,
253
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,575
AND IT HITS ME LIKE
A CAPE TO THE THROAT--
254
00:12:21,609 --> 00:12:23,076
FASHION SHOW.
255
00:12:27,515 --> 00:12:29,350
FASHION SHOW.
256
00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:30,618
HOT WINTER NIGHTS.
257
00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:31,919
THAT'S THE THEME.
258
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,054
FOR THE...FASHION SHOW.
259
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:34,722
YEAH.
260
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:36,524
NOW HELP ME OUT.
261
00:12:36,557 --> 00:12:39,226
TICKET PRICES--
I WAS THINKING $50
262
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,594
FOR SEATS
BY THE RUNWAY.
263
00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:43,597
YOU KNOW, FOR THE
MICKEY ROURKE TYPES.
264
00:12:43,631 --> 00:12:45,699
I WISH I WAS GOING TO BE
IN TOWN THAT WEEKEND.
265
00:12:45,733 --> 00:12:47,435
WHEN IS IT?
266
00:12:47,468 --> 00:12:49,370
OH, GOOD.
DEAN ALBRIGHT,
267
00:12:49,403 --> 00:12:50,971
DICK WAS JUST
TELLING US THIS IDEA--
268
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,940
OH, HE TOLD YOU ABOUT
THE FASHION SHOW.
269
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,009
HE TOLD US
ALL ABOUT IT.
270
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:57,778
ISN'T IT GREAT?
271
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:58,746
FABULOUS!
COUNT ME IN!
272
00:12:58,779 --> 00:12:59,780
JUST GREAT!
273
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,754
TINA, HI.
REMEMBER ME?
274
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,956
YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO SAID I WASN'T
HALF AS HOT AS YOU ARE.
275
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,123
YEAH, RIGHT. THAT'S ME.
276
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,459
ANYWAY, I'M BACK
FOR THAT CROCKPOT.
277
00:13:11,492 --> 00:13:13,026
OH, SURE. YEAH,
THEY'RE RIGHT OVER HERE.
278
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,066
OH. THOSE ARE
NICE SHOES.
279
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:20,701
OH, THANKS.
I JUST GOT THEM.
280
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:21,869
THEY'RE FRANK ROSS.
281
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,071
FRANK ROSS.
YOU MUST BE LOADED.
282
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,238
LOADED? NO, NO.
283
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,375
WELL, THEN WHERE'D
YOU GET THE CASH
TO PAY FOR THEM?
284
00:13:27,408 --> 00:13:28,609
CREDIT CARD.
285
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,611
YOU HAVE A CREDIT CARD.
OH, MY GOD.
286
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:34,715
ANYWAY, THESE CROCKPOTS
ARE SO EASY TO USE.
287
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:36,316
THEY'RE ALL I COOKED WITH
WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE.
288
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:37,718
SHE WENT TO COLLEGE.
289
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:39,487
YOU SET THE TIMER,
GO OUT,
290
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:40,721
AND THE FOOD'S READY
WHEN YOU COME BACK.
291
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:43,123
COME BACK FROM WHERE?
I--I DON'T KNOW.
292
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,058
TENNIS? IS THAT
WHERE YOU GO?
293
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:47,728
TO PLAY TENNIS--
WITH THE BALLS
AND THE RACKETS,
294
00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:50,230
LIKE SOME EXPERT
TENNIS PLAYER?
295
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,365
MISS, IS EVERYTHING OK?
296
00:13:51,399 --> 00:13:52,733
OH, YEAH,
EVERYTHING'S GREAT,
297
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:54,802
EXCEPT YOU'RE RUINING
MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH DON.
298
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,770
DON?
YEAH, LADY!
299
00:13:56,804 --> 00:13:58,739
DON ORVILLE.
300
00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:00,240
WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT
FOR OVER A YEAR,
301
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,875
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN
YOUR NAME COMES UP.
302
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,811
AND WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO DO TO US?
303
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:06,414
LOOK, I WAS ONLY WITH DON
FOR 6 MONTHS.
304
00:14:06,447 --> 00:14:07,715
AND 2 WEEKS AFTER
WE BROKE UP,
305
00:14:07,748 --> 00:14:09,282
HE WAS ALREADY GOING OUT
WITH CHERYL FASSLER
306
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,283
AND LAURA BROCKMAN
AFTER THAT--
307
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,619
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
308
00:14:11,652 --> 00:14:12,820
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
309
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:15,556
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
310
00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:18,559
WAIT, WAIT...
311
00:14:18,592 --> 00:14:19,827
WAIT.
312
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,097
THERE WERE OTHERS?
313
00:14:37,678 --> 00:14:41,549
WELL, I THINK
WE SHOULD EXPAND.
314
00:14:41,582 --> 00:14:42,950
EXPAND.
315
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,017
ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR MIND?
316
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,586
WE HAVEN'T
SOLD A CUP.
317
00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:47,521
WELL, WAIT TILL WE GET
TO THE BIG CITIES.
318
00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:51,158
THAT'S WHERE
THE THIRSTY PEOPLE ARE.
319
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,960
YOU ARE A MEATHEAD.
320
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,697
LEMONADE.
321
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,866
OOH! LEMONADE?
322
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,333
YOU KNOW,
323
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,769
WHEN LITTLE KIDS
SELL LEMONADE,
324
00:15:01,802 --> 00:15:03,070
IT'S CUTE.
325
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:06,006
BUT WHEN GROWN MEN
SELL LEMONADE,
326
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,407
IT'S CREEPY.
327
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:10,878
WHAT?
328
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,846
QUIT SELLING LEMONADE.
329
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,182
YOU'RE CREEPING OUT
THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
330
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,954
WELL, SHE'S THE MEATHEAD.
331
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:21,755
NO, HARRY.
332
00:15:21,789 --> 00:15:22,490
NO. SHE'S RIGHT.
333
00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:24,658
I MEAN, COME ON,
LOOK AT US.
334
00:15:24,692 --> 00:15:27,528
WE ARE DISGUSTING.
335
00:15:27,561 --> 00:15:29,463
I'M THROUGH.
336
00:15:29,497 --> 00:15:31,031
YECCH.
337
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:31,899
WELL--
338
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,101
OH, WELL,
THAT'S JUST FINE.
339
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,804
YOU JUST GO HOME, TOMMY.
340
00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:38,338
IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME.
341
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,807
I'LL JUST STAY HERE
ALL DAY,
342
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,274
HOLD DOWN THE FORT.
343
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,145
AHH.
344
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,480
ROOT BEER.
345
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,820
THANK YOU, KITTY.
346
00:15:52,853 --> 00:15:53,386
NEXT UP,
347
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:56,590
WE HAVE CHARLENE...
348
00:15:56,624 --> 00:16:00,460
IN A SASSY CARDIGAN
349
00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:03,531
AND FLIRTY PLAID
KNEE-LENGTH SKIRT.
350
00:16:03,564 --> 00:16:04,832
TOWN OR COUNTRY,
351
00:16:04,865 --> 00:16:07,134
SHE'S READY TO PLAY.
352
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,369
SHE SHOOTS, SHE SCORES.
353
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,504
NUMBER 8
ON YOUR PROGRAM.
354
00:16:10,538 --> 00:16:11,605
THIS ONE'S
GONNA GO FAST.
355
00:16:11,639 --> 00:16:13,741
THANK YOU, CHARLENE.
356
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,079
HERE COMES GINNY.
357
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:22,983
SAY, GINNY, WHAT'S
UNDERNEATH THE PARKA?
358
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:23,917
HEY.
359
00:16:23,951 --> 00:16:26,253
IT'S A SMART FRENCH
TERRY PULLOVER
360
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,121
AND SOME SNUGLY LEGGINGS.
361
00:16:30,524 --> 00:16:32,292
HER HUSBAND
MAY BE A TRUSTEE,
362
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,962
BUT YOU CAN'T
TRUST HER.
363
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,830
YOU'RE DANGEROUS, GINNY.
364
00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:38,065
YOU'RE DANGEROUS--
365
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,668
IN FASHIONS BY PEPE.
366
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:46,707
[LAUGHTER]
367
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,441
THAT IS SICK!
368
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:50,844
OK. ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
369
00:16:50,878 --> 00:16:51,979
WAIT, WAIT.
SO, LAURA,
370
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:54,582
YOU WERE WITH DON
FROM '92 TO '93.
371
00:16:54,615 --> 00:16:55,616
AND THEN, CHERYL,
372
00:16:55,649 --> 00:16:57,618
YOU WERE WITH HIM
THE SUMMER OF '95.
373
00:16:57,651 --> 00:17:01,088
BUT, UH, THERE'S STILL
THIS GAP HERE IN '94.
374
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,757
OH! THAT'S WHEN HE
HAD THE PONYTAIL.
375
00:17:06,594 --> 00:17:09,429
I REMEMBER
ONE NIGHT,
ME AND DINGO--
376
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,164
OH, THAT'S WHAT
I USED TO CALL HIM.
377
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,399
DINGO.
378
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,467
HE DOES LOOK LIKE
A DINGO!
379
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,103
OH, MY GOD!
380
00:17:19,707 --> 00:17:20,774
LADIES.
381
00:17:20,808 --> 00:17:23,410
SALLY, HAVE YOU FOUND
A CLIP OF 9mm AMMO?
382
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:24,612
I WAS LOOKING AT--
383
00:17:24,645 --> 00:17:27,280
GAH! JEEZ! DOH!
384
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,116
[SPUTTERING]
385
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,387
HI, DON. WE WERE JUST
TALKING ABOUT YOU.
386
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:37,324
HEY, RECOGNIZE ANYBODY?
387
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,525
YES.
388
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,160
YE-YES.
389
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:43,964
I--I RECOGNIZE
EVERYBODY.
390
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:44,865
HELLO, LADIES.
391
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,167
HEY, DON.
HI, DON.
HI, DON.
392
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,536
SALLY, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SEC?
393
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,304
OH, SURE, SWEETIE.
394
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:52,973
HE SQUINTS WHEN
HE'S NERVOUS.
395
00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:53,607
AM I RIGHT?
396
00:17:53,641 --> 00:17:55,008
Don: SALLY!
397
00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,309
OH. COMING.
398
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,447
WHAT'S UP?
399
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,750
WHY ARE ALL MY OLD
GIRLFRIENDS HERE?
400
00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:05,085
SWEETIE, LOOK...
401
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,486
I LOST IT
WHEN I FOUND OUT
402
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,388
YOU HAD RELATIONSHIPS
BEFORE ME.
403
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,890
BUT NOW THAT
I'VE MET THEM ALL,
404
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,492
I'M COOL WITH IT.
405
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,560
THAT'S GREAT, SALLY.
406
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,595
I KNOW HOW YOU GOT
TOGETHER WITH THEM,
407
00:18:15,629 --> 00:18:16,764
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
WITH THEM,
408
00:18:16,797 --> 00:18:19,032
AND I KNOW
WHY YOU BROKE UP.
THAT'S NICE.
409
00:18:19,066 --> 00:18:20,801
I KNOW
WHERE YOU'VE BEEN,
I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE HAD,
410
00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:23,103
AND I KNOW HOW
YOU GOT RID OF IT.
411
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,672
OK!
412
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,977
OK. I'M--I'M GLAD
YOU FEEL BETTER.
413
00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:33,180
I DO, DON.
414
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,614
I REALLY DO.
415
00:18:34,648 --> 00:18:37,350
OH, SALLY.
416
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:40,921
OH, DINGO.
417
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:41,889
RUFF!
418
00:18:41,922 --> 00:18:43,256
GRR!
419
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,900
HERE'S THE MAN
OF THE HOUR!
420
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:53,600
OH!
421
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,502
THANK YOU, MARY.
THANK YOU. OH!
422
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,005
AND THANK GOD IT'S OVER!
423
00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:00,974
NINA, HOW DID WE DO?
424
00:19:01,008 --> 00:19:04,177
LET'S SEE. SUBTRACTING
FOR THE CATERER, THE DJ,
425
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:08,181
AND BETTY WALKING OFF
WITH THE WEDDING GOWN...
426
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:12,119
WE MADE $104.
427
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,155
YOU MEAN
104 MILL DOLLARS.
428
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:18,859
NO. 104 DOLLARS DOLLARS.
429
00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:19,760
IT'S A GREAT START, DICK.
430
00:19:19,793 --> 00:19:21,028
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD.
431
00:19:21,061 --> 00:19:22,095
OF WHAT?!
432
00:19:22,129 --> 00:19:24,097
$104?!
433
00:19:24,131 --> 00:19:27,034
THAT WON'T BUY
ADMIRAL PENDELTON AN ARM!
434
00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:30,603
THAT WON'T EVEN PAY TO
PRESSURE-WASH THE BIRD CRAP
OFF HIS WIFE!
435
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,975
STILL...WHAT A NIGHT.
436
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,977
THE GALA EVENT
OF THE SEASON.
437
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:41,681
THIS?! 12 PROFESSOR'S
WIVES TRUDGING DOWN
A MAKESHIFT RUNWAY
438
00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:45,218
IN POLY BLENDS
AND SUPPORT HOSE?!
439
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,620
THE RUMAKI
WAS DELICIOUS.
440
00:19:52,159 --> 00:19:54,227
WHAT'S GOING ON?
441
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,463
WHY AM I BEING TREATED
LIKE THIS?
442
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,398
WHENEVER I'VE DONE SOMETHING
STUPID OR FOOLISH,
443
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,501
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE
TO RIDICULE ME FOR IT.
444
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,003
WHAT'S CHANGED?!
445
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,572
I--I THINK EVERYONE
HAD A LOVELY TIME.
446
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:06,740
I KNOW I DID.
447
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,011
YOU!
448
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,846
WHAT?!
449
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,882
YOU'RE THE REASON
THEY'RE ALL BEING
SO NICE!
450
00:20:14,915 --> 00:20:18,085
THEY'RE KISSING UP TO ME
BECAUSE I'M THE DEAN'S
BOYFRIEND, AREN'T YOU?!
451
00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:18,819
OH, PSHAW!
452
00:20:18,852 --> 00:20:20,420
WELL,
I'M MORE THAN THAT!
453
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,289
I HAVE MY OWN IDENTITY!
454
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,992
I'M DICK SOLOMON,
DAMN IT!
455
00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:27,861
AND I DEMAND
TO BE CONDEMNED
FOR MY FAILURES!
456
00:20:27,895 --> 00:20:30,463
AND THIS, THIS WASN'T
JUST A FAILURE.
457
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:33,166
THIS WAS
A TOWERING FIASCO!
458
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,035
SO IF ANY OF YOU
RESPECTS ME AS A PERSON,
459
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,736
YOU WILL STAND UP,
COME FORWARD,
460
00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:40,307
AND RIDICULE ME
FOR THE IDIOT THAT I AM!
461
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,976
DO IT, DAMN IT!
CALL ME AN IDIOT!
462
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,716
I THINK YOU BETTER
CALL HIM AN IDIOT.
463
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:50,851
YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
464
00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:53,020
A COLOSSAL IDIOT!
465
00:20:53,053 --> 00:20:54,788
THANK YOU, JUDITH.
466
00:20:54,822 --> 00:20:57,224
VINCENT, THANK YOU.
467
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,159
AND YOU, MARY...
468
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:02,395
YOU...MOST OF ALL.
469
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:06,466
IF YOU DON'T,
I WILL.
470
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,301
OK, DICK.
471
00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:10,403
YOU'RE A BIG,
FAT, BUMBLING,
472
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:15,008
OBLIVIOUS, PEPE-WEARING,
MEGA-IDIOT!
473
00:21:15,042 --> 00:21:17,878
OH, THANK YOU, MARY!
474
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:19,746
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
475
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:29,456
DR. SOLOMON.
476
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:30,357
YES, LUCY.
477
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:34,227
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU,
YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
478
00:21:34,261 --> 00:21:36,596
THANK YOU, LUCY,
BUT THAT'S REALLY
NOT NECESSARY.
479
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:41,134
NO. I REALLY
WANTED YOU TO KNOW.
YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
480
00:21:41,168 --> 00:21:44,071
LOOK, I'VE REALLY
GOTTEN OVER THAT WHOLE
FASHION SHOW DEBACLE.
481
00:21:44,104 --> 00:21:47,040
BUT...THANK YOU.
482
00:21:47,074 --> 00:21:49,542
WHAT FASHION SHOW?
483
00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:51,144
IDIOT.
32178
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