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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,675 --> 00:00:10,411 OH, DON, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO? 2 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,380 WHY, SALLY? 3 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:15,283 BECAUSE 10 YEARS AGO, I TOOK AN OATH-- 4 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,952 AN OATH TO PROTECT AND SERVE THIS CITY, 5 00:00:17,986 --> 00:00:22,456 AND NOTHING-- NOT EVEN THE PROSPECT OF LYING IN BED, NAKED, 6 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,593 WITH THE SEXIEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN-- 7 00:00:24,626 --> 00:00:26,728 WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! 8 00:00:33,735 --> 00:00:35,704 OH...OH, SALLY... I'VE GOTTA TELL YOU 9 00:00:35,737 --> 00:00:39,007 THAT THIS IS THE BEST RELATIONSHIP I'VE EVER BEEN IN. 10 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:46,681 OH, WOW, DON... THAT IS SO... 11 00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:50,451 SO... 12 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,153 WOW. 13 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,922 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 14 00:00:53,955 --> 00:00:57,425 NOTHING. I GUESS I JUST NEVER THOUGHT 15 00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:01,562 ABOUT YOU HAVING ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP BEFORE. 16 00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:04,132 NO ONE CAN HOLD A CANDLE TO YOU, SALLY. 17 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,136 THAT'S REAL SWEET, DON. 18 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,346 TO PENDELTON'S NEW DEAN OF ARTS AND SCIENCES. 19 00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:53,748 OHH... 20 00:01:53,782 --> 00:01:55,183 THAT'S YOU, MARY. 21 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:58,286 I KNOW. 22 00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,421 NOW, IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND TALKING BUSINESS JUST FOR A MOMENT-- 23 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,490 OH, DICK, CAN'T IT WAIT UNTIL MONDAY? 24 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,425 OH, I UNDERSTAND. 25 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:09,931 ON MONDAY, I'M GONNA BE ASKING YOU 26 00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,099 WHAT THE SCHOOL INTENDS TO DO ABOUT 27 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,768 THE DECAYING STATUE OF ADMIRAL PENDELTON. 28 00:02:13,802 --> 00:02:15,036 THE ONE WITH THE MISSING ARM? 29 00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:16,771 IT'S AN EYESORE. WHAT'S GOING TO BE DONE? 30 00:02:16,805 --> 00:02:20,041 I WANT AN ANSWER, AND I WANT IT NOW! 31 00:02:20,074 --> 00:02:23,344 THAT'S WHAT I'LL BE SAYING ON MONDAY. 32 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:26,514 DICK, THE UNIVERSITY IS IN A FINANCIAL CRUNCH. 33 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,517 THE BIOLOGY LAB IS DISSECTING ROAD KILL. 34 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,886 THE STATUE IS NOT A PRIORITY. 35 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:35,423 YES, WELL, I'LL BE INTERESTED IN HEARING WHAT YOU THINK ON MONDAY. 36 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,624 THANK YOU, MY GOOD MAN. 37 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,625 OH, NO. HERE, LET ME GET-- 38 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:41,595 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO 39 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,998 THIS IS MY TREAT. 40 00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:45,133 DICK, I'M A DEAN. 41 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,235 THAT PROMOTION CAME WITH A NICE RAISE. 42 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,438 WELL, YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY MORE THAN ME. 43 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,106 A LITTLE MORE. 44 00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,876 HOW MUCH MORE? 45 00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:56,610 A LOT MORE. 46 00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:57,846 REALLY? 47 00:02:57,879 --> 00:03:00,314 WELL, I DON'T CARE. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME. 48 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,682 I'M THE MAN AT THIS TABLE, 49 00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:03,417 AND I INSIST ON PAYING FOR DINNER. 50 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:04,352 FINE. 51 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,620 OH! 52 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,422 WOWSIE. 53 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:11,793 MARY, COULD I BORROW $200? 54 00:03:11,826 --> 00:03:13,828 DICK, THIS IS ONLY $80. 55 00:03:13,862 --> 00:03:15,830 I KNOW. I ALSO WANT TO BUY A CUISINART. 56 00:03:21,736 --> 00:03:24,038 DUBCEK'S GRANDSON IS SELLING LEMONADE DOWN THE STREET 57 00:03:24,072 --> 00:03:26,574 FOR 25 CENTS A SHOT. 58 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,943 25 CENTS? FOR A LOUSY CUP OF LEMONADE? 59 00:03:28,977 --> 00:03:30,912 DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF MARKUP THAT MUST BE? 60 00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:34,215 THIS KID'S GOTTA BE MAKING A FORTUNE. 61 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,650 WELL, HE WAS WEARING A DIGITAL WATCH. 62 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,886 SEE? 63 00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:41,122 WELL, I JUST FOUND OUT SOMETHING ABOUT DON I NEVER KNEW. 64 00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:44,125 THAT HIS BACK IS LITERALLY COVERED IN PIMPLES. 65 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:49,630 WORSE. HE HAD ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP BEFORE ME. 66 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:50,031 NO. NO. 67 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,666 YES! 68 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:56,771 OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS... WHAT DO YOU THINK? 69 00:03:56,805 --> 00:03:59,941 YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTY? 70 00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:02,043 TALL...BLOND... 71 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,544 WOW. SHE SOUNDS HOT. 72 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,414 SHUT UP. 73 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,382 I GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHERE SHE WORKS, WHAT SHE DOES. 74 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:09,750 I GOTTA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. 75 00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:10,751 WHY? 76 00:04:10,785 --> 00:04:13,687 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER. 77 00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,156 WELL, SALLY, I'M OFF. 78 00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:16,825 UH, DON, UM... 79 00:04:16,858 --> 00:04:19,727 THI-THIS TABLE'S A LITTLE WOBBLY. 80 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:25,967 UM, COULD I USE YOUR ADDRESS BOOK TO PROP IT UP? 81 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,036 CAN'T YOU JUST USE A MATCHBOOK? 82 00:04:28,069 --> 00:04:29,938 I DON'T WANNA USE A MATCHBOOK. 83 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:38,913 I WANNA USE YOUR WIDDLE ADDWESS BOOK. 84 00:04:38,947 --> 00:04:41,515 WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO TO BEGIN WITH? 85 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,647 I'M SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOU THIS. 86 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,449 "DR. AND MRS. ALBRIGHT"? 87 00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:16,417 NO, THIS ISN'T FOR ME. 88 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:19,854 THIS IS FOR MARY AND HER WIFE. 89 00:05:19,888 --> 00:05:22,356 I THINK YOU'RE MRS. ALBRIGHT. 90 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:26,660 ME? AH, HA HA HA HA HA! 91 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:27,996 OH, THAT'S RICH! 92 00:05:28,029 --> 00:05:30,064 WAIT'LL MARY HEARS ABOUT THIS. 93 00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:32,733 HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! 94 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,406 RIGHT OVER YOUR HEADS. 95 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,774 MARY! MARY! 96 00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,810 MARY--HA HA HA! 97 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,614 LOOK AT THIS INVITATION. IT'S HILARIOUS! 98 00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:47,515 IT'S A TYPO. 99 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,784 YES! HA HA HA! 100 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,554 DICK, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS. 101 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,990 NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO BE ON MY ARM AT THIS EVENT, 102 00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,492 SO I WANT YOU TO LOOK YOUR BEST. 103 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:01,829 SO, HERE, TAKE MY CREDIT CARD 104 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,865 AND GO OUT AND BUY YOURSELF A NICE OUTFIT. 105 00:06:04,899 --> 00:06:06,734 HOW MUCH CAN I SPEND? 106 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:07,969 WHATEVER. 107 00:06:08,002 --> 00:06:10,304 WHAT IF I FIND A BELT THAT GOES WITH MY SOCKS? 108 00:06:10,338 --> 00:06:11,472 FINE. 109 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,241 CAN I BUY A CUISINART? 110 00:06:13,274 --> 00:06:15,143 YOU ALREADY BOUGHT A CUISINART. 111 00:06:15,176 --> 00:06:17,178 ER...SOMEBODY PUT PENCILS IN IT. 112 00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:28,422 HI. I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF J.D. POWER AND ASSOCIATES. 113 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:31,960 HOW MANY LICENSED DRIVERS DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD? 114 00:06:31,993 --> 00:06:37,831 MM-HMM. AND HOW MANY HAVE DATED POLICE OFFICERS? 115 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:41,702 YOUR OLD ROOMMATE DID. OK, CAN YOU DESCRIBE HIM? 116 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:46,407 "USED TO SNEAK HOME DURING THE SHIFT." UH-HUH... 117 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:51,712 "STRIPPED TO HIS UNDERWEAR." RIGHT... 118 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:55,116 AND WATCH HIS SOAP OPERA? 119 00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:57,718 THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL? 120 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,620 I AM IN BUSINESS! 121 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,527 HI. CAN I HELP YOU? 122 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,628 ARE YOU TINA? 123 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,998 NO. GO AWAY. 124 00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:11,665 HI. I'M TINA. 125 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:12,533 WERE YOU LOOKING FOR A CROCKPOT? 126 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,235 YEAH. HOLD UP, YOU'RE TINA? 127 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,569 HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THIS ONE? 128 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:19,107 THANK YOU, GOD. WHAT? 129 00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:22,543 I AM SO MUCH HOTTER THAN YOU! 130 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,645 THANK YOU! 131 00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:29,050 HEY, HELLO, THERE. 132 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,818 WELL, IF IT ISN'T CHANCELLOR STEVENS. 133 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:34,088 DEAN ALBRIGHT, HELLO. 134 00:07:34,122 --> 00:07:35,489 CHANCELLOR, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. 135 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:36,757 TELL ME, MARY, 136 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,592 I HEARD YOU HAD A MOST PROMISING MEETING 137 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:39,827 WITH PROFESSOR GOLLIN. 138 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,596 I THINK IT WENT WELL. KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED. 139 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:43,164 [CLEARS THROAT] 140 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,865 HE'S AN INTERESTING MAN. 141 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,435 YOU'VE READ HIS PAPER ON ETHNOBOTANY? 142 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,369 [CLEARS THROAT] 143 00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:50,138 I'VE JUST STARTED IT, BUT IT'S FASCINATING. 144 00:07:50,171 --> 00:07:52,006 [CLEARS THROAT] 145 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:56,110 [HAWKING LOUDLY] 146 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,781 HELLO. 147 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,317 I'M SORRY. THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND DICK. 148 00:08:03,351 --> 00:08:04,118 NICE TO MEET YOU. 149 00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:05,453 ACTUALLY, I'M A PHYSICS-- 150 00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:08,689 YOU MADE A GREAT END-AROUND ON THE SUBCOMMITTEE. 151 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,058 OH, THAT. 152 00:08:10,091 --> 00:08:11,492 IT TURNS OUT IT WAS PROFESSOR BRIGGS 153 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:12,726 THAT WAS CREATING THE LOGJAM. 154 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,128 YOU KNOW, I FIND-- HOW'D YOU DO IT? 155 00:08:14,162 --> 00:08:15,563 I JUST DANGLED THAT ARTS GRANT IN FRONT OF HIM. 156 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,199 THE ARTS GRANT IS A MIGHTY BIG CARROT. THE INTERESTING-- 157 00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:19,467 IT SURE IS. 158 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,501 CARROTS-- AND THEN? 159 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,703 I-- OH, IT'S JUST WAIT AND SEE. 160 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,105 CARROTS-- YES, I SUPPOSE. 161 00:08:24,138 --> 00:08:25,573 HOW, UH...IF-- 162 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,074 DRINK? 163 00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:27,141 CARROTS-- SURE. 164 00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:29,009 I-- 165 00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:30,678 BYE. 166 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,481 HELLO. I'M DEAN GUTHRIDGE'S WIFE. 167 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,216 AND I'M DEAN SMITH'S WIFE. 168 00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,685 HI. I'M DEAN ALBRIGHT'S WIFE. 169 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,526 HARRY, IS IT REALLY NECESSARY 170 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:49,097 THAT I WEAR A BLINDFOLD? 171 00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:53,767 TOMMY, IT'S A BLIND TASTE TEST. OK? 172 00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:55,503 NOW, IF WE'RE GONNA BE IN THE LEMONADE GAME, 173 00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,971 WE'VE GOTTA HAVE A COMPETITIVE PRODUCT. 174 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,541 NOW, WHICH ONE TASTES BETTER? 175 00:09:03,244 --> 00:09:05,246 WELL, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE BLAND. 176 00:09:05,279 --> 00:09:06,347 A LITTLE BLAND. 177 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,184 OK. THIS ONE'S ROOT BEER. 178 00:09:12,353 --> 00:09:12,853 YOU GUYS! 179 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,288 I SAW HER! I SAW HER! 180 00:09:14,322 --> 00:09:15,156 YOU SAW TINA? 181 00:09:15,189 --> 00:09:17,091 YES, AND I'M SO MUCH HOTTER THAN SHE IS, 182 00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:19,460 IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. 183 00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:20,394 GOOD. GOOD FOR YOU. 184 00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:21,729 AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART IS? 185 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,764 WHAT? 186 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,066 WELL, THAT IS THE BEST PART. 187 00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,768 YOU KNOW, I WONDER WHAT DON EVER SAW IN HER 188 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:28,536 IN THE FIRST PLACE. 189 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:31,905 AH, WELL, YOU GOT-- 190 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,742 WELL, I MEAN, IT-- 191 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,644 OBVIOUSLY-- 192 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,149 YEAH, WHAT COULD IT BE? 193 00:09:41,182 --> 00:09:42,450 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? 194 00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:44,585 I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT IN COMPETITION WITH THIS PERSON. 195 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:47,788 OF COURSE I'M IN COMPETITION WITH HER, TOMMY. 196 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,357 SHE'S HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND. 197 00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:50,124 YEAH. EX. 198 00:09:50,158 --> 00:09:51,225 WHY AM I EVEN TALKING TO YOU? 199 00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:52,226 YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN. 200 00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:55,062 OOCH! THAT'S GOTTA HURT. 201 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,398 I MEAN, WHAT DOES THIS TINA HAVE THAT I DON'T? 202 00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,401 HER BACK IS LITERALLY COVERED IN PIMPLES. 203 00:10:03,371 --> 00:10:05,539 I GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M UP AGAINST HERE. 204 00:10:05,573 --> 00:10:07,208 I'M GONNA GO BUY THAT CROCKPOT. 205 00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:08,709 WE HAVE A CROCKPOT. 206 00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,617 WE JUST LOST ONE CROCKPOT 207 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:19,653 AND GAINED ONE CRACKPOT. 208 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,355 I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. 209 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,229 HI, DICK. 210 00:10:28,262 --> 00:10:29,997 DEAN ALBRIGHT. 211 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:33,634 OH...TONIGHT WAS FUN, WASN'T IT? 212 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,336 BOY, IF THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING DEAN, 213 00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:38,839 I SAY BRING IT ON! 214 00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,575 I'M SLEEPY. 215 00:10:41,609 --> 00:10:42,843 WHAT'S WRONG? 216 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:46,614 WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU. 217 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,416 IT WAS THE PARTY, WASN'T IT? 218 00:10:48,449 --> 00:10:51,118 I'M CLOSING MY EYES NOW. 219 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,221 OH. OK. 220 00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:57,891 COME ON, PROFESSOR SOLOMON. 221 00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,493 TEACH ME A LESSON. 222 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,699 NO. 223 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:09,337 OK. IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE IT TO ME, 224 00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:12,840 I'M GONNA COME OVER THERE AND GET IT. 225 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,475 FINE! 226 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,210 JUST MAKE IT QUICK. 227 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,349 DICK, I'M SORRY. 228 00:11:21,382 --> 00:11:23,884 I KNOW I'VE BEEN A LITTLE SELF-INVOLVED LATELY, 229 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,719 BUT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT I'VE BEEN BUSY. 230 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,054 BUSY DOING WHAT? 231 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,156 WELL... 232 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,824 THINKING ABOUT THAT IDEA OF YOURS 233 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,361 ABOUT RESTORING THE STATUE. 234 00:11:33,394 --> 00:11:35,429 I THOUGHT WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY. 235 00:11:35,463 --> 00:11:37,965 WELL, YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO RAISE THE MONEY. 236 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,533 A FUND-RAISER! 237 00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:41,435 THAT WILL BE YOUR PROJECT. 238 00:11:41,469 --> 00:11:42,936 MARY, YOU MEAN IT? 239 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,305 YES, DICK. 240 00:11:44,338 --> 00:11:46,707 OH, THANKS, MARY. 241 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:47,975 THANK YOU. 242 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,644 OH, I CAN SEE IT NOW, ALL RESTORED, 243 00:11:50,678 --> 00:11:52,913 THE MAJESTIC IMAGE OF ADMIRAL PENDELTON 244 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,848 RIDING HIS WIFE INTO BATTLE. 245 00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,589 THAT'S HIS HORSE. 246 00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:02,890 AH. 247 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,225 THAT DOES MAKE MORE SENSE. 248 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,465 SO I'M RACKING MY BRAIN-- 249 00:12:11,499 --> 00:12:14,302 WHAT'S A FRESH, FUN NEW WAY TO RAISE $10,000? 250 00:12:14,335 --> 00:12:15,168 SOMETHING CRAZY, 251 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,070 BUT MAKES PERFECT SENSE ALL AT ONCE. 252 00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,072 AND I'M WALKING BY FASHIONS BY PEPE, 253 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,575 AND IT HITS ME LIKE A CAPE TO THE THROAT-- 254 00:12:21,609 --> 00:12:23,076 FASHION SHOW. 255 00:12:27,515 --> 00:12:29,350 FASHION SHOW. 256 00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:30,618 HOT WINTER NIGHTS. 257 00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:31,919 THAT'S THE THEME. 258 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,054 FOR THE...FASHION SHOW. 259 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:34,722 YEAH. 260 00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:36,524 NOW HELP ME OUT. 261 00:12:36,557 --> 00:12:39,226 TICKET PRICES-- I WAS THINKING $50 262 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,594 FOR SEATS BY THE RUNWAY. 263 00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:43,597 YOU KNOW, FOR THE MICKEY ROURKE TYPES. 264 00:12:43,631 --> 00:12:45,699 I WISH I WAS GOING TO BE IN TOWN THAT WEEKEND. 265 00:12:45,733 --> 00:12:47,435 WHEN IS IT? 266 00:12:47,468 --> 00:12:49,370 OH, GOOD. DEAN ALBRIGHT, 267 00:12:49,403 --> 00:12:50,971 DICK WAS JUST TELLING US THIS IDEA-- 268 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,940 OH, HE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE FASHION SHOW. 269 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,009 HE TOLD US ALL ABOUT IT. 270 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:57,778 ISN'T IT GREAT? 271 00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:58,746 FABULOUS! COUNT ME IN! 272 00:12:58,779 --> 00:12:59,780 JUST GREAT! 273 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,754 TINA, HI. REMEMBER ME? 274 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,956 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID I WASN'T HALF AS HOT AS YOU ARE. 275 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,123 YEAH, RIGHT. THAT'S ME. 276 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,459 ANYWAY, I'M BACK FOR THAT CROCKPOT. 277 00:13:11,492 --> 00:13:13,026 OH, SURE. YEAH, THEY'RE RIGHT OVER HERE. 278 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,066 OH. THOSE ARE NICE SHOES. 279 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:20,701 OH, THANKS. I JUST GOT THEM. 280 00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:21,869 THEY'RE FRANK ROSS. 281 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,071 FRANK ROSS. YOU MUST BE LOADED. 282 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,238 LOADED? NO, NO. 283 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,375 WELL, THEN WHERE'D YOU GET THE CASH TO PAY FOR THEM? 284 00:13:27,408 --> 00:13:28,609 CREDIT CARD. 285 00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,611 YOU HAVE A CREDIT CARD. OH, MY GOD. 286 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:34,715 ANYWAY, THESE CROCKPOTS ARE SO EASY TO USE. 287 00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:36,316 THEY'RE ALL I COOKED WITH WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE. 288 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:37,718 SHE WENT TO COLLEGE. 289 00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:39,487 YOU SET THE TIMER, GO OUT, 290 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:40,721 AND THE FOOD'S READY WHEN YOU COME BACK. 291 00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:43,123 COME BACK FROM WHERE? I--I DON'T KNOW. 292 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,058 TENNIS? IS THAT WHERE YOU GO? 293 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:47,728 TO PLAY TENNIS-- WITH THE BALLS AND THE RACKETS, 294 00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:50,230 LIKE SOME EXPERT TENNIS PLAYER? 295 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,365 MISS, IS EVERYTHING OK? 296 00:13:51,399 --> 00:13:52,733 OH, YEAH, EVERYTHING'S GREAT, 297 00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:54,802 EXCEPT YOU'RE RUINING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DON. 298 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,770 DON? YEAH, LADY! 299 00:13:56,804 --> 00:13:58,739 DON ORVILLE. 300 00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:00,240 WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT FOR OVER A YEAR, 301 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,875 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOUR NAME COMES UP. 302 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,811 AND WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO US? 303 00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:06,414 LOOK, I WAS ONLY WITH DON FOR 6 MONTHS. 304 00:14:06,447 --> 00:14:07,715 AND 2 WEEKS AFTER WE BROKE UP, 305 00:14:07,748 --> 00:14:09,282 HE WAS ALREADY GOING OUT WITH CHERYL FASSLER 306 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,283 AND LAURA BROCKMAN AFTER THAT-- 307 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,619 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 308 00:14:11,652 --> 00:14:12,820 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 309 00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:15,556 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 310 00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:18,559 WAIT, WAIT... 311 00:14:18,592 --> 00:14:19,827 WAIT. 312 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,097 THERE WERE OTHERS? 313 00:14:37,678 --> 00:14:41,549 WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD EXPAND. 314 00:14:41,582 --> 00:14:42,950 EXPAND. 315 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,017 ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? 316 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,586 WE HAVEN'T SOLD A CUP. 317 00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:47,521 WELL, WAIT TILL WE GET TO THE BIG CITIES. 318 00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:51,158 THAT'S WHERE THE THIRSTY PEOPLE ARE. 319 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,960 YOU ARE A MEATHEAD. 320 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,697 LEMONADE. 321 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,866 OOH! LEMONADE? 322 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,333 YOU KNOW, 323 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,769 WHEN LITTLE KIDS SELL LEMONADE, 324 00:15:01,802 --> 00:15:03,070 IT'S CUTE. 325 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:06,006 BUT WHEN GROWN MEN SELL LEMONADE, 326 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,407 IT'S CREEPY. 327 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:10,878 WHAT? 328 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,846 QUIT SELLING LEMONADE. 329 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,182 YOU'RE CREEPING OUT THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD. 330 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,954 WELL, SHE'S THE MEATHEAD. 331 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:21,755 NO, HARRY. 332 00:15:21,789 --> 00:15:22,490 NO. SHE'S RIGHT. 333 00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:24,658 I MEAN, COME ON, LOOK AT US. 334 00:15:24,692 --> 00:15:27,528 WE ARE DISGUSTING. 335 00:15:27,561 --> 00:15:29,463 I'M THROUGH. 336 00:15:29,497 --> 00:15:31,031 YECCH. 337 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:31,899 WELL-- 338 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,101 OH, WELL, THAT'S JUST FINE. 339 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,804 YOU JUST GO HOME, TOMMY. 340 00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:38,338 IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME. 341 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,807 I'LL JUST STAY HERE ALL DAY, 342 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,274 HOLD DOWN THE FORT. 343 00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,145 AHH. 344 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,480 ROOT BEER. 345 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,820 THANK YOU, KITTY. 346 00:15:52,853 --> 00:15:53,386 NEXT UP, 347 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:56,590 WE HAVE CHARLENE... 348 00:15:56,624 --> 00:16:00,460 IN A SASSY CARDIGAN 349 00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:03,531 AND FLIRTY PLAID KNEE-LENGTH SKIRT. 350 00:16:03,564 --> 00:16:04,832 TOWN OR COUNTRY, 351 00:16:04,865 --> 00:16:07,134 SHE'S READY TO PLAY. 352 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,369 SHE SHOOTS, SHE SCORES. 353 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,504 NUMBER 8 ON YOUR PROGRAM. 354 00:16:10,538 --> 00:16:11,605 THIS ONE'S GONNA GO FAST. 355 00:16:11,639 --> 00:16:13,741 THANK YOU, CHARLENE. 356 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,079 HERE COMES GINNY. 357 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:22,983 SAY, GINNY, WHAT'S UNDERNEATH THE PARKA? 358 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:23,917 HEY. 359 00:16:23,951 --> 00:16:26,253 IT'S A SMART FRENCH TERRY PULLOVER 360 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,121 AND SOME SNUGLY LEGGINGS. 361 00:16:30,524 --> 00:16:32,292 HER HUSBAND MAY BE A TRUSTEE, 362 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,962 BUT YOU CAN'T TRUST HER. 363 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,830 YOU'RE DANGEROUS, GINNY. 364 00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:38,065 YOU'RE DANGEROUS-- 365 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,668 IN FASHIONS BY PEPE. 366 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:46,707 [LAUGHTER] 367 00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,441 THAT IS SICK! 368 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:50,844 OK. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 369 00:16:50,878 --> 00:16:51,979 WAIT, WAIT. SO, LAURA, 370 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:54,582 YOU WERE WITH DON FROM '92 TO '93. 371 00:16:54,615 --> 00:16:55,616 AND THEN, CHERYL, 372 00:16:55,649 --> 00:16:57,618 YOU WERE WITH HIM THE SUMMER OF '95. 373 00:16:57,651 --> 00:17:01,088 BUT, UH, THERE'S STILL THIS GAP HERE IN '94. 374 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,757 OH! THAT'S WHEN HE HAD THE PONYTAIL. 375 00:17:06,594 --> 00:17:09,429 I REMEMBER ONE NIGHT, ME AND DINGO-- 376 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,164 OH, THAT'S WHAT I USED TO CALL HIM. 377 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,399 DINGO. 378 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,467 HE DOES LOOK LIKE A DINGO! 379 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,103 OH, MY GOD! 380 00:17:19,707 --> 00:17:20,774 LADIES. 381 00:17:20,808 --> 00:17:23,410 SALLY, HAVE YOU FOUND A CLIP OF 9mm AMMO? 382 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:24,612 I WAS LOOKING AT-- 383 00:17:24,645 --> 00:17:27,280 GAH! JEEZ! DOH! 384 00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,116 [SPUTTERING] 385 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,387 HI, DON. WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU. 386 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:37,324 HEY, RECOGNIZE ANYBODY? 387 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,525 YES. 388 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,160 YE-YES. 389 00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:43,964 I--I RECOGNIZE EVERYBODY. 390 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:44,865 HELLO, LADIES. 391 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,167 HEY, DON. HI, DON. HI, DON. 392 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,536 SALLY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC? 393 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,304 OH, SURE, SWEETIE. 394 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:52,973 HE SQUINTS WHEN HE'S NERVOUS. 395 00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:53,607 AM I RIGHT? 396 00:17:53,641 --> 00:17:55,008 Don: SALLY! 397 00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,309 OH. COMING. 398 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,447 WHAT'S UP? 399 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,750 WHY ARE ALL MY OLD GIRLFRIENDS HERE? 400 00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:05,085 SWEETIE, LOOK... 401 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,486 I LOST IT WHEN I FOUND OUT 402 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,388 YOU HAD RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE ME. 403 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,890 BUT NOW THAT I'VE MET THEM ALL, 404 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,492 I'M COOL WITH IT. 405 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,560 THAT'S GREAT, SALLY. 406 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,595 I KNOW HOW YOU GOT TOGETHER WITH THEM, 407 00:18:15,629 --> 00:18:16,764 I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH THEM, 408 00:18:16,797 --> 00:18:19,032 AND I KNOW WHY YOU BROKE UP. THAT'S NICE. 409 00:18:19,066 --> 00:18:20,801 I KNOW WHERE YOU'VE BEEN, I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE HAD, 410 00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:23,103 AND I KNOW HOW YOU GOT RID OF IT. 411 00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,672 OK! 412 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,977 OK. I'M--I'M GLAD YOU FEEL BETTER. 413 00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:33,180 I DO, DON. 414 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,614 I REALLY DO. 415 00:18:34,648 --> 00:18:37,350 OH, SALLY. 416 00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:40,921 OH, DINGO. 417 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:41,889 RUFF! 418 00:18:41,922 --> 00:18:43,256 GRR! 419 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,900 HERE'S THE MAN OF THE HOUR! 420 00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:53,600 OH! 421 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,502 THANK YOU, MARY. THANK YOU. OH! 422 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,005 AND THANK GOD IT'S OVER! 423 00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:00,974 NINA, HOW DID WE DO? 424 00:19:01,008 --> 00:19:04,177 LET'S SEE. SUBTRACTING FOR THE CATERER, THE DJ, 425 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:08,181 AND BETTY WALKING OFF WITH THE WEDDING GOWN... 426 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:12,119 WE MADE $104. 427 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,155 YOU MEAN 104 MILL DOLLARS. 428 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:18,859 NO. 104 DOLLARS DOLLARS. 429 00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:19,760 IT'S A GREAT START, DICK. 430 00:19:19,793 --> 00:19:21,028 YOU SHOULD BE PROUD. 431 00:19:21,061 --> 00:19:22,095 OF WHAT?! 432 00:19:22,129 --> 00:19:24,097 $104?! 433 00:19:24,131 --> 00:19:27,034 THAT WON'T BUY ADMIRAL PENDELTON AN ARM! 434 00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:30,603 THAT WON'T EVEN PAY TO PRESSURE-WASH THE BIRD CRAP OFF HIS WIFE! 435 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,975 STILL...WHAT A NIGHT. 436 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,977 THE GALA EVENT OF THE SEASON. 437 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:41,681 THIS?! 12 PROFESSOR'S WIVES TRUDGING DOWN A MAKESHIFT RUNWAY 438 00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:45,218 IN POLY BLENDS AND SUPPORT HOSE?! 439 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,620 THE RUMAKI WAS DELICIOUS. 440 00:19:52,159 --> 00:19:54,227 WHAT'S GOING ON? 441 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,463 WHY AM I BEING TREATED LIKE THIS? 442 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,398 WHENEVER I'VE DONE SOMETHING STUPID OR FOOLISH, 443 00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,501 YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE TO RIDICULE ME FOR IT. 444 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,003 WHAT'S CHANGED?! 445 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,572 I--I THINK EVERYONE HAD A LOVELY TIME. 446 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:06,740 I KNOW I DID. 447 00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,011 YOU! 448 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,846 WHAT?! 449 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,882 YOU'RE THE REASON THEY'RE ALL BEING SO NICE! 450 00:20:14,915 --> 00:20:18,085 THEY'RE KISSING UP TO ME BECAUSE I'M THE DEAN'S BOYFRIEND, AREN'T YOU?! 451 00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:18,819 OH, PSHAW! 452 00:20:18,852 --> 00:20:20,420 WELL, I'M MORE THAN THAT! 453 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,289 I HAVE MY OWN IDENTITY! 454 00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,992 I'M DICK SOLOMON, DAMN IT! 455 00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:27,861 AND I DEMAND TO BE CONDEMNED FOR MY FAILURES! 456 00:20:27,895 --> 00:20:30,463 AND THIS, THIS WASN'T JUST A FAILURE. 457 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:33,166 THIS WAS A TOWERING FIASCO! 458 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,035 SO IF ANY OF YOU RESPECTS ME AS A PERSON, 459 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,736 YOU WILL STAND UP, COME FORWARD, 460 00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:40,307 AND RIDICULE ME FOR THE IDIOT THAT I AM! 461 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,976 DO IT, DAMN IT! CALL ME AN IDIOT! 462 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,716 I THINK YOU BETTER CALL HIM AN IDIOT. 463 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:50,851 YOU'RE AN IDIOT! 464 00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:53,020 A COLOSSAL IDIOT! 465 00:20:53,053 --> 00:20:54,788 THANK YOU, JUDITH. 466 00:20:54,822 --> 00:20:57,224 VINCENT, THANK YOU. 467 00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,159 AND YOU, MARY... 468 00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:02,395 YOU...MOST OF ALL. 469 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:06,466 IF YOU DON'T, I WILL. 470 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,301 OK, DICK. 471 00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:10,403 YOU'RE A BIG, FAT, BUMBLING, 472 00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:15,008 OBLIVIOUS, PEPE-WEARING, MEGA-IDIOT! 473 00:21:15,042 --> 00:21:17,878 OH, THANK YOU, MARY! 474 00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:19,746 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 475 00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:29,456 DR. SOLOMON. 476 00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:30,357 YES, LUCY. 477 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:34,227 I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU, YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 478 00:21:34,261 --> 00:21:36,596 THANK YOU, LUCY, BUT THAT'S REALLY NOT NECESSARY. 479 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:41,134 NO. I REALLY WANTED YOU TO KNOW. YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 480 00:21:41,168 --> 00:21:44,071 LOOK, I'VE REALLY GOTTEN OVER THAT WHOLE FASHION SHOW DEBACLE. 481 00:21:44,104 --> 00:21:47,040 BUT...THANK YOU. 482 00:21:47,074 --> 00:21:49,542 WHAT FASHION SHOW? 483 00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:51,144 IDIOT. 32178

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