All language subtitles for 3rd.Rock.from.the.Sun.S03E23.Dick.and.the.Other.Guy.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-SiGMA

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,209 GOOD MORNING, ALL! 2 00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,010 GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING. 3 00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:11,012 HEY, YOU'RE WEARING YOUR LUCKY TIE. 4 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:11,913 WHAT'S THE OCCASION? 5 00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:13,815 OH, NO OCCASION, REALLY. 6 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:17,686 THIS HOTSHOT VISITING PROFESSOR, DR. NEESAM, ARRIVES TODAY. 7 00:00:17,719 --> 00:00:19,387 THE DEAN ASKED ME TO SHOW HIM AROUND, 8 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,822 SO I WANT TO LOOK MY BEST, 9 00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:23,892 JUST TO LET HIM KNOW THAT HE'S ON MY TURF. 10 00:00:23,925 --> 00:00:24,525 WHY DON'T YOU JUST DROP YOUR PANTS 11 00:00:24,559 --> 00:00:27,896 AND SPRAY ALL THE CORNERS? 12 00:00:27,929 --> 00:00:29,230 THAT'S WHAT CATS DO. 13 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,464 THEY DO? 14 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:31,733 I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 15 00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:33,367 WELL, WHATEVER YOU DO, COME BACK EARLY. 16 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,069 I NEED THE CAR TONIGHT. I GOT A DATE, ALL RIGHT? 17 00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:36,771 OOH, SALLY. 18 00:00:36,805 --> 00:00:39,473 ABOUT THAT, HE CALLED. HE'S NOT COMING. 19 00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:40,508 WHY? 20 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,977 HE SAID HE'S AFRAID OF YOU. 21 00:00:43,678 --> 00:00:45,079 WAS IT THE DEATH GRIP? 22 00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,248 OK, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO TEACH A GUY THE DEATH GRIP 23 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,884 IF YOU DON'T PUT HIM IN THE DEATH GRIP? 24 00:00:49,918 --> 00:00:54,488 [MOCKING] OOH! I'M AFRAID OF THE DEATH GRIP! 25 00:01:00,695 --> 00:01:02,163 AND THIS IS THE DOOR. 26 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,065 COAT RACK, FIREPLACE, FILES... 27 00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:08,336 AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, MY DESK. 28 00:01:09,604 --> 00:01:11,172 DR. NEESAM? 29 00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:16,477 I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY JUST LEAVE THESE OUT IN THE HALL FOR THE TAKING. 30 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,714 OH, YOU'RE TELLING ME. 31 00:01:20,682 --> 00:01:21,950 NINA! 32 00:01:21,983 --> 00:01:22,984 YES? 33 00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:25,219 COULD YOU BRING DR. NEESAM AND ME A CUP OF COFFEE? 34 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,956 OH, YES, OF COURSE. DR. NEESAM, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? 35 00:01:27,989 --> 00:01:32,026 ANY WAY YOU'D LIKE TO GIVE IT TO ME. 36 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:35,096 HOW ABOUT HOT AND IN YOUR LAP? 37 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,331 DO I LOOK LIKE SOME ACADEMIC BARMAID? 38 00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:37,832 GIVE IT TO YOU? 39 00:01:37,866 --> 00:01:39,734 I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU. 40 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,437 IS SHE COMING ON TO ME? 41 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,807 I CAN NEVER TELL. IT'S BEST TO IGNORE IT. 42 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,343 SO, DR. NEESAM, WHAT HAS BROUGHT YOU TO PENDLETON? 43 00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,212 A PLANE. HATEFUL CONTRAPTIONS. 44 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,647 OH I AGREE, 45 00:01:52,681 --> 00:01:54,282 YOUR FATE IS IN THE HANDS OF A COUPLE OF DOORMEN 46 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,984 AND A UNIFORMED WAITRESS. 47 00:01:56,017 --> 00:01:56,951 AND THE ENDLESS POINTING. 48 00:01:56,985 --> 00:01:59,487 OH...GOD...YES! 49 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,323 THEY POINT TO WHERE THE DOOR IS. 50 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,725 AND YOU ONLY JUST CAME THROUGH IT. 51 00:02:03,758 --> 00:02:04,893 EXACTLY. 52 00:02:04,926 --> 00:02:07,028 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, IF THE PLANE LANDS IN THE WATER, 53 00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:11,866 MY FLOTATION DEVICE WILL BE THE PERSON NEXT TO ME. 54 00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:15,670 DR. NEESAM, I FIND YOU POMPOUS, JUDGMENTAL, 55 00:02:15,704 --> 00:02:18,239 AND COMPLETELY SELF-ABSORBED. 56 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,441 WOULD YOU BE MY FRIEND? 57 00:02:21,710 --> 00:02:23,712 WE'LL SEE. 58 00:03:05,153 --> 00:03:07,321 EXCUSE ME. I'M LOOKING FOR DR. DICK SOLOMON. 59 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:10,124 AH, DR. NEESAM. HE SHOULD BE BACK ANY MINUTE. 60 00:03:10,158 --> 00:03:11,492 YOU'RE WELCOME TO SIT AND WAIT. 61 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:16,264 OH, THANK YOU. WOULD YOU GET ME A CUP OF COFFEE? 62 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:19,600 DON'T YOU REMEMBER? WE MET. I'M DR. MARY ALBRIGHT. 63 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,870 AHH! DR. MARY ALBRIGHT. 64 00:03:21,903 --> 00:03:25,339 WOULD YOU GET ME A CUP OF COFFEE? 65 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:28,810 I DON'T THINK DR. SOLOMON WOULD APPRECIATE YOU RUMMAGING THROUGH HIS DESK. 66 00:03:28,843 --> 00:03:31,379 I THOUGHT I SENT YOU OUT FOR COFFEE. 67 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:37,218 I AM DR. MARY ALBRIGHT, Ph.D., PROFESSOR OF ANTHROPOLOGY! 68 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,854 YOU KNOW, YOUR CHEEKS TURN A BEAUTIFUL PINK WHEN YOU'RE YELLING. 69 00:03:39,888 --> 00:03:41,890 IT COMPLEMENTS THE CRYSTAL BLUE OF YOUR EYES, 70 00:03:41,923 --> 00:03:45,293 AND IT COMES TOGETHER IN YOUR MOON PIE OF A FACE. 71 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,028 I BEG YOUR PARDON?! 72 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,196 YOU HAVE THE HEAD OF A COOKIE. 73 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,198 I WANT TO EAT YOU! 74 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,232 LEAVE ME ALONE! 75 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:52,533 JUST A BITE. 76 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,268 STAY AWAY! JUST ONE BITE. 77 00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:57,839 AH, LIAM, THERE YOU ARE! GOOD! 78 00:03:57,872 --> 00:04:00,574 I SEE YOU TWO HAVE BROKEN THE ICE. 79 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:01,843 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE ALL GO OUT TONIGHT 80 00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:03,144 AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER, HMM? 81 00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:05,013 GOOD IDEA. 82 00:04:05,046 --> 00:04:06,747 DICK, I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS GUY. 83 00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:09,818 HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME, AND HE CHASED ME AROUND THE ROOM! 84 00:04:09,851 --> 00:04:11,152 HE DID? 85 00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:13,087 WELL, MARY, I BARELY KNEW YOU 86 00:04:13,121 --> 00:04:14,455 THE FIRST TIME I CHASED YOU. 87 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:17,125 IT'S JUST WHAT YOU BRING OUT IN MEN. 88 00:04:17,158 --> 00:04:17,959 YEAH? 89 00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:19,760 SHE'S IN! 90 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,266 YOUR TURN. 91 00:04:27,969 --> 00:04:31,472 WOW! 3 BULL'S EYES IN A ROW. YOU ARE GOOD! 92 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,942 ACTUALLY, I'M A BIT OFF TONIGHT. 93 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:35,944 I WISH I COULD DO THAT. 94 00:04:35,977 --> 00:04:37,211 OH, MARY! 95 00:04:37,245 --> 00:04:38,646 YOU THROW LIKE A GIRL. 96 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,781 OH, DON'T BE SILLY. ANYONE CAN LEARN. 97 00:04:40,815 --> 00:04:43,017 COME HERE. COME HERE. 98 00:04:43,051 --> 00:04:44,285 RIGHT. NOW, HOLD THAT. 99 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:45,519 TIP IT UP A LITTLE BIT. 100 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:47,588 EASE BACK, BIG BREATH, 101 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,157 RELAX, FOLLOW THROUGH. 102 00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:49,958 WHOO! 103 00:04:49,991 --> 00:04:51,125 IT HIT THE BOARD! 104 00:04:51,159 --> 00:04:53,027 I'VE NEVER DONE THAT! 105 00:04:53,061 --> 00:04:54,728 GOOD GIRL! 106 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:59,067 OH! YES. GOOD GIRL. 107 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,903 DICK, SALLY AND HARRY WON'T BUY ME A BEER. 108 00:05:01,936 --> 00:05:05,406 HARRY, SALLY, DON'T BE SO CHEAP! 109 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,909 I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FAMILY. 110 00:05:07,942 --> 00:05:11,745 AH, YES. THE DIMWITTED BROTHER AND THE SURLY ADOLESCENT. 111 00:05:13,081 --> 00:05:16,350 OH, WELL, HE'S SURE GOT US PEGGED. 112 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:18,252 THIS IS MY SISTER SALLY. 113 00:05:18,286 --> 00:05:19,954 YOU'RE IN LUCK. SHE'S AVAILABLE. 114 00:05:19,988 --> 00:05:21,189 REALLY? 115 00:05:21,222 --> 00:05:22,756 A WOMAN AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU, AVAILABLE? 116 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:23,757 OH. 117 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:26,627 YOU MUST HAVE A SEVERE PERSONALITY DISORDER. 118 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:30,498 WOW! THIS GUY'S AMAZING. 119 00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:34,235 Mary: DICK, YOUR TURN. 120 00:05:34,268 --> 00:05:35,403 PERSONALITY DISORDER. 121 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:38,006 I'M GONNA GO KICK HIS ASS! 122 00:05:38,039 --> 00:05:40,008 Don: THERE YOU GO, PRINCESS. 123 00:05:40,041 --> 00:05:41,642 DON. 124 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,410 SALLY? 125 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,244 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 126 00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:45,213 UM, UH...I, UM, 127 00:05:45,246 --> 00:05:48,116 WE GOT A REPORT ABOUT SOME SOUTH AMERICAN GUNRUNNERS 128 00:05:48,149 --> 00:05:49,984 WORKING OUT OF THE BACK ROOM. 129 00:05:50,018 --> 00:05:51,752 BUT YOU'RE NOT IN UNIFORM. 130 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,254 WELL, YEAH. 131 00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:55,756 I'M....UNDERCOVER. 132 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:56,857 WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 133 00:05:56,891 --> 00:05:59,260 I COULD USE SOME COMPANY TONIGHT. YOU SEE, UM... 134 00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:01,295 I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD SIT DOWN AND ORDER SOME CHICKEN WINGS, 135 00:06:01,329 --> 00:06:03,131 AND YOU COULD TELL ME I'M PRETTY. 136 00:06:03,164 --> 00:06:04,265 HI, DONNIE. 137 00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:07,001 YOU WERE GREAT LAST NIGHT! 138 00:06:10,004 --> 00:06:10,638 WHO WAS THAT? 139 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,673 I GOTTA GO. 140 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:19,914 Dick: AND FOR SHORTER DISTANCES, COMPARED TO A WAVELENGTH, 141 00:06:19,948 --> 00:06:24,052 WE KNOW THAT E W EQUALS ONE OVER R CUBED 142 00:06:24,085 --> 00:06:26,354 AND-- 143 00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:27,821 HELLO, LIAM. CAN I HELP YOU? 144 00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,123 NO, BUT I CAN HELP YOU. 145 00:06:29,157 --> 00:06:30,758 THIS IS RATHER PUZZLING. 146 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,793 YOU HAVE 5 UNNECESSARY TERMS. 147 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,396 NOW, NOW, DR. NEESAM. THIS IS MY CLASS. 148 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,098 YES, BUT YOU SEE, 149 00:06:37,131 --> 00:06:39,400 HERE... AND, UH, HERE... 150 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,969 BRACKETS HERE, OF COURSE. 151 00:06:41,002 --> 00:06:43,404 NOW, THESE TERMS ARE ALL EQUAL 152 00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,674 AND SELF-NULLIFYING. 153 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:51,212 VOILร„! 154 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,313 BUT THAT DOESN'T WORK. 155 00:06:52,346 --> 00:06:54,615 YES, IT DOES. NO, IT DOESN'T. 156 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,583 YES, IT DOES. 157 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,652 OH! DEAR GOD, I UNDERSTAND THAT! 158 00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,221 YES! SWEET MOTHER! 159 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,689 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, 160 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:04,658 I SEE HOW SOMETHING WORKS! 161 00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:06,694 OH, SHUT UP, LEON! 162 00:07:08,096 --> 00:07:09,230 NOW, LISTEN TO ME, OFFICER. 163 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,799 I NEED TO REACH DON ORVILLE. 164 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:12,833 OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T SEE HIM! 165 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,336 HE'S UNDERCOVER, YOU IDIOT! 166 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:16,804 SALLY... 167 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,772 SALLY, WE HAVE COMPANY. 168 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,509 YOU REMEMBER LARRY FROM NIGHT SCHOOL? 169 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,122 HOW YOU DOIN'? 170 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,691 NOT TOO BAD. 171 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,465 SO... 172 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,234 YOU LIKE MOVIES? 173 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,004 KINDA. 174 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:56,910 YOU KNOW, UM, SALLY LIKES SPAGHETTI. 175 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,180 SO DO I. 176 00:08:01,449 --> 00:08:02,850 LARRY'S GOT A CAR. 177 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:03,617 I LIKE CARS. 178 00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:07,488 AH, WELL, WE HAVE A MATCH! 179 00:08:10,391 --> 00:08:13,094 SORRY, MAN. 180 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:19,033 WE HAD A DEAL YOU BASTARD! 181 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:35,916 DAMN. 2 FEET SHORT. 182 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,420 THAT MEANS I'VE GOT TO PUTT IT IN. 183 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,603 [AIR HORN BLOWS] 184 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,075 WHAT? 185 00:09:01,109 --> 00:09:01,609 WHAT WAS THAT? 186 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:02,810 WHAT? THAT NOISE. 187 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,545 WHAT NOISE? 188 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:05,946 I DON'T RECALL A NOISE. 189 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,581 MAYBE A BIRD... 190 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,384 A SMALL RODENT. 191 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,725 PERHAPS YOU HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR. 192 00:09:24,532 --> 00:09:26,200 [TOOT] 193 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,771 WHAT WAS THAT? 194 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:31,939 OH, THIS? 195 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,241 UM, IT'S AN EXPERIMENT. 196 00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:34,708 I WANTED TO SEE HOW YOU'D REACT. 197 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,778 I AM A BIOLOGIST, YOU KNOW. 198 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,981 ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT AGAIN? 199 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:44,452 PROBABLY...NOT. 200 00:09:45,219 --> 00:09:46,720 OH... 201 00:10:00,168 --> 00:10:01,535 BAD LUCK. 202 00:10:01,569 --> 00:10:02,703 OH. 203 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,272 BETTER LUCK ON THE NEXT HOLE. 204 00:10:04,305 --> 00:10:06,474 [TOOT] 205 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:11,712 OH, I GOT IT. ALL RIGHT. 206 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,881 HOW ABOUT THAT GUY FROM THE NEWSSTAND? 207 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,216 OH, FRANK DEEGAN! 208 00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:16,417 WELL, HOW ABOUT HIM, SALLY? 209 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,351 HE SEEMS PRESENTABLE. 210 00:10:17,385 --> 00:10:19,086 NO. 211 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,155 COME ON, SALLY. HE LIVES ON A HOUSEBOAT. 212 00:10:21,189 --> 00:10:24,658 IT'S ON HIS MOTHER'S LAWN! 213 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:25,893 I DON'T NEED A DATE, YOU GUYS. 214 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:26,927 IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP ME, 215 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,862 HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT THE PROBLEM IS WITH DON. 216 00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:31,799 OH, I'LL TELL YOU HOW TO SOLVE ANY KIND OF LOVE PROBLEM. 217 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:35,969 NOW, WHAT YOU DO IS YOU INVITE HIM IN FOR A LITTLE CASUAL BREAKFAST, 218 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:39,507 AND WHEN HE'S WALKIN' IN, YOU'RE FRYIN' THE EGGS... 219 00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:41,809 IN THE BUFF. 220 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,711 OOH, I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT. 221 00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,613 NO. YOU'RE NOT THERE. 222 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:48,649 WHAT? SO WE DON'T GET ANY BREAKFAST? 223 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,050 GO GET A DONUT. 224 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,084 WAIT, WAIT. HOLD UP. 225 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:55,155 DOESN'T THE GREASE SPLATTER ALL OVER YOUR BOOBS? 226 00:10:55,189 --> 00:10:56,357 DONUTS AREN'T BREAKFAST. 227 00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:57,391 NO. EGGS ARE BREAKFAST. 228 00:10:57,425 --> 00:10:58,192 YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR BREAKFAST? 229 00:10:58,226 --> 00:11:00,027 SHUT UP! GO ON. 230 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,729 NOW IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT'S UP WITH DON, 231 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,797 WHY DON'T YOU TRY THE OLD-FASHIONED METHOD? 232 00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:07,268 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LIKE, STALK HIM? 233 00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:10,003 NO! 234 00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:13,741 DISGUISE YOURSELF, AND FOLLOW HIM AROUND. 235 00:11:19,313 --> 00:11:19,980 I'LL SET THE TABLE. 236 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:20,781 OH, I'LL HELP. 237 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:25,018 NO, NO. MARY'D PREFER IT DONE RIGHT. 238 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:27,154 MARY, I DON'T WANT YOU TO INVITE HIM OVER ANYMORE! 239 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,456 DICK, YOU DON'T OWN ME. 240 00:11:28,489 --> 00:11:30,491 I CAN INVITE WHOMEVER I PLEASE. 241 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,792 FINE, BUT I DON'T LIKE HIM! 242 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:32,760 WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO! 243 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,061 I DON'T! 244 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,263 SO, WHAT'S FOR DINNER? 245 00:11:35,296 --> 00:11:36,930 BAKED NEW ENGLAND LOBSTER. 246 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,466 MMM! SOUNDS YUMMY. 247 00:11:38,499 --> 00:11:39,367 LIAM'S MAKING IT. 248 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,702 OH! DAMN! 249 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,271 DON'T TOUCH IT. I'LL GET IT. 250 00:11:43,304 --> 00:11:45,205 [DING] 251 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:47,808 HOW DID HE DO THAT? 252 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,076 ISN'T THAT HOT? 253 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,312 OH, VERY, YES. 254 00:11:53,481 --> 00:11:55,416 AAH! 255 00:11:59,687 --> 00:12:00,954 ICE? 256 00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:02,222 WHAT ARE THESE? 257 00:12:02,256 --> 00:12:05,359 ESCARGOT FOIE GRAS CHAMPIGNON ร„ LA GRECQUE EN CROUTE. 258 00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:07,361 DO TRY ONE. 259 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:11,899 OH! 260 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:17,705 THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER PUT IN MY MOUTH! 261 00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:22,710 ONCE AGAIN, I COME IN SECOND. 262 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:23,911 DICK, TRY ONE OF THESE. 263 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:27,147 OH, NO. I'M REALLY NOT HUNGRY. 264 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:32,119 ALTHOUGH, THEY DO SMELL AWFULLY GOOD. 265 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,354 ISN'T THAT TERRIFIC? 266 00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:34,254 YES. 267 00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:36,156 MM-HMM. 268 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,125 MARY, WOULD YOU PUT THE SALAD OUT, PLEASE? 269 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,493 OH! 270 00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:41,161 THE SALAD LOOKS PERFECT. 271 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,364 THANK YOU. SO, DICK, YOU DON'T REALLY COOK, THEN? 272 00:12:43,397 --> 00:12:45,065 ME? I'M AN EXCELLENT COOK, 273 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,266 BUT I DON'T DO IT IN FRONT OF MARY 274 00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:49,036 BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME TO DO, UH... 275 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,571 HOW CAN I PUT THIS? 276 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:51,405 WOMANY THINGS. 277 00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:52,806 AH. 278 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,808 I ENJOY COOKING OUT-OF-DOORS, OF COURSE, 279 00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:56,810 ALONG WITH OTHER MANLY MEN, 280 00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,579 BUT IN THE CONFINES OF A KITCHEN, 281 00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:03,116 I FIND THAT REAL MEN TEND TO ESCHEW SUCH GIRLIE PURSUITS. 282 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,419 QUITE. 283 00:13:15,396 --> 00:13:16,196 WHERE'S DICK? 284 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,365 OUR GAME TIRED HIM OUT. 285 00:13:17,398 --> 00:13:18,466 HE'S HAVING A NAP. 286 00:13:18,499 --> 00:13:20,768 OH. 287 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,370 WHOOPS! DROPPED THE LADLE. 288 00:13:22,403 --> 00:13:24,104 OH, I'LL GET IT. 289 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,208 I WISH YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT. 290 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:31,645 WHY? DIDN'T I DO IT WELL ENOUGH? 291 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:35,783 AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU DID IT PERFECTLY. 292 00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,218 BUT IT'S JUST THAT I'M KIND OF INVOLVED RIGHT NOW. 293 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,253 I MEAN, NOT OFFICIALLY, BUT I'M-- 294 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,423 AHH, MARY'S AFRAID. 295 00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:44,858 MARY DOESN'T WANT TO ROCK THE BOAT IN HER LITTLE LIFE. 296 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,093 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE CONTROL 297 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:49,963 AND BE SWEPT AWAY IN A TORRENT OF PLEASURE. 298 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,037 RIGHT. 299 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,973 Dick: MARY? 300 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,587 WHERE'S DON ORVILLE? 301 00:14:13,621 --> 00:14:14,422 I SAW HIM COME IN HERE. 302 00:14:14,455 --> 00:14:15,856 YOU MEAN DONNIE ORVELLINI? 303 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:16,690 DONNIE ORVELLINI! 304 00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:18,158 AAH! AAH! 305 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,799 [TOM JONES] * IT'S NOT UNUSUAL 306 00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:29,369 * TO BE LOVED BY ANYONE 307 00:14:29,403 --> 00:14:31,004 * IT'S NOT UNUSUAL 308 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,906 * TO HAVE FUN WITH ANYONE 309 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,475 AAH! AAH! AAH! 310 00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:39,847 * BUT WHEN I SEE YOU HANGIN' ABOUT WITH ANYONE * 311 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,815 * IT'S NOT UNUSUAL 312 00:14:41,849 --> 00:14:43,116 * TO SEE ME CRY 313 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,052 AAH! AAH! 314 00:14:48,689 --> 00:14:49,657 OH, MARY. 315 00:14:49,690 --> 00:14:51,124 OH, MARY...MARY! 316 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:52,793 OH, DICK, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 317 00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:54,294 WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE? 318 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:55,429 HE'S GONE. 319 00:14:55,463 --> 00:14:57,264 I'M GLAD YOU THREW HIM OUT. 320 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,866 WELL, HE LEFT. 321 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,968 OH. 322 00:15:01,769 --> 00:15:02,736 HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN OUT? 323 00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:03,437 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 324 00:15:03,471 --> 00:15:04,672 WHAT? 10 MINUTES? 30 MINUTES? 325 00:15:04,705 --> 00:15:07,307 OH, I DON'T KNOW. I TOOK OF MY WATCH. 326 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,678 YOU ONLY TAKE YOUR WATCH OFF WHEN WE-- 327 00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:12,379 OH, MARY, NO! 328 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,747 OH, I'M SORRY. 329 00:15:13,781 --> 00:15:15,816 HOW COULD YOU?! 330 00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:16,650 I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID IT. 331 00:15:16,684 --> 00:15:18,118 YOU KNOW HOW HE IS. 332 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,621 OH, I CAN'T STAND IT! HE'S BEATEN ME AGAIN! 333 00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:22,956 HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW GOOD HE IS AT EVERYTHING? 334 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,092 OH-HO, YEAH. 335 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,996 I MEAN, YEAH. 336 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,664 NO WONDER YOU COULDN'T RESIST HIM. 337 00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:33,967 HE'S JUST LIKE ME TO THE 10th DEGREE. 338 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:37,505 YES! THAT'S WHY I DID IT! HE'S EXACTLY LIKE YOU! 339 00:15:37,538 --> 00:15:38,806 I KNOW! 340 00:15:38,839 --> 00:15:41,374 WE'RE BOTH BRILLIANT. WE'RE BOTH GORGEOUS. 341 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,110 WE'RE BOTH... 342 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,448 OH, MY GOD, OF COURSE. 343 00:15:48,482 --> 00:15:50,183 WE'RE BOTH-- 344 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,620 AAH! 345 00:15:52,653 --> 00:15:53,554 SO HE WAS GOOD? 346 00:15:53,587 --> 00:15:57,024 OH, HE WAS GOOD. HE WAS PANTY-THROWING GOOD. 347 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,325 THEN WHY ARE YOU WORRIED? 348 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,027 AT LEAST IT'S NOT ANOTHER WOMAN, RIGHT? 349 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,262 I KNOW, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ALL THESE WOMEN STARING AT HIM. 350 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,766 HE IS A KARAOKE STAR, TOMMY. 351 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:09,002 THEY JUST DON'T GET ANY BIGGER THAN THAT. 352 00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,438 I LEFT HIM A MESSAGE. I SURE HOPE HE CALLS. 353 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,106 WELL DON'T WORRY SALLY 354 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,575 'CAUSE WE'LL BE YOUR DATES. 355 00:16:14,608 --> 00:16:15,375 YEAH. ME AND HARRY. 356 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,476 HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT? 357 00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:18,111 YEAH. 358 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:21,281 I'M GONNA FRY YOU UP SOME EGGS. 359 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,249 Don: SALLY! 360 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,518 OH, IT'S DON! IT'S DON. GET OUT OF HERE. 361 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,490 I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. 362 00:16:30,524 --> 00:16:32,760 I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME, DON, 363 00:16:32,793 --> 00:16:35,963 OR SHOULD I SAY, "DONNIE ORVELLINI"? 364 00:16:37,531 --> 00:16:38,431 SO, YOU KNOW. 365 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,467 YES, I KNOW. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 366 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,803 I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D UNDERSTAND, SALLY. 367 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:43,837 COPS... 368 00:16:43,871 --> 00:16:46,239 THEY DON'T SING. 369 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,908 I THOUGHT YOU WERE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. 370 00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:51,545 SALLY, MUSIC IS MY LADY. 371 00:16:51,579 --> 00:16:52,746 OH, DON, 372 00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:54,347 I WANT TO BE WITH YOU 373 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,684 AND THAT LADY. 374 00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:57,918 SING FOR ME. 375 00:16:57,951 --> 00:16:58,986 OH. 376 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,487 * OH 377 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,355 * MY LOVE 378 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,057 * MY DARLIN' 379 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,358 * I'VE HUNGERED 380 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,995 * FOR YOUR TOUCH 381 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,797 * A LONG 382 00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:12,099 * LONELY TIME 383 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,267 * AND TIME 384 00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,169 * GOES BY 385 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,305 * SO SLOWLY 386 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,908 * AND TIME CAN DO 387 00:17:20,941 --> 00:17:22,843 * SO MUCH 388 00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,645 * ARE YOU 389 00:17:24,678 --> 00:17:29,349 * STILL MINE? 390 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,455 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 391 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,024 UH, TAKING A FEW THINGS. 392 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,392 THOSE ARE MY THEORIES ON THE EARTH'S GRAVITATIONAL ALIGNMENT. 393 00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:40,928 YES, AND SOME OF THEM ARE QUITE GOOD, 394 00:17:40,961 --> 00:17:42,095 AND THAT'S WHY I'M TAKING THEM, 395 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,931 JUST TO PROVE SOMETHING TO THE FOLKS AT HOME. 396 00:17:43,964 --> 00:17:45,799 YOU DON'T NEED THOSE THEORIES. 397 00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:46,634 YOU CAN FIGURE THEM OUT. 398 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:48,335 YOU CAN FIGURE EVERYTHING OUT, 399 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,303 AND I THINK I KNOW WHY. 400 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,706 ALL RIGHT, LET'S HEAR IT. WHY? 401 00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:54,174 YOU'RE AN ALIEN. 402 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,376 OH, DICK, WELL DONE. 403 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,410 I KNEW IT! 404 00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,847 DICK, YOU ARE QUITE A REMARKABLE HUMAN CREATURE. 405 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,616 OH! WELL, I AGREE WITH THE REMARKABLE PART. 406 00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:05,653 AFTER ALL, I FIGURED OUT WHO YOU ARE, 407 00:18:05,686 --> 00:18:11,258 BUT YOU, MY FRIEND, HAVE MISSED SOMETHING GLARINGLY OBVIOUS ABOUT ME. 408 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,459 CARE TO GUESS? 409 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:16,563 NO. YOU SEE, I CAME TO THIS PLANET FOR ONLY ONE PURPOSE: 410 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,430 TO DESTROY IT. 411 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,331 WHAT? 412 00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:20,200 OH, YES. BIG EXPLOSION, CHUNKS OF DEBRIS, 413 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:21,568 THINGS FLYING EVERY WHICH WAY, 414 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,704 THEN A SECOND EXPLOSION, 415 00:18:23,737 --> 00:18:25,405 NOT QUITE AS HUGE AS THE FIRST ONE, 416 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,040 BUT STILL VERY BIG AND SPARKLY, 417 00:18:27,074 --> 00:18:28,976 SOMETHING TO SEE... 418 00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:30,510 ONLY, OF COURSE, YOU WOULDN'T 419 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:33,613 BECAUSE YOU'D HAVE BEEN VAPORIZED IN THE FIRST ONE. 420 00:18:33,647 --> 00:18:34,848 BUT WHY THE EARTH? 421 00:18:34,882 --> 00:18:38,185 BECAUSE YOU'RE BLOCKING OUR VIEW! 422 00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:39,920 I WON'T LET YOU! 423 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:40,988 NO, NO. LET ME EXPLAIN. 424 00:18:41,021 --> 00:18:42,355 WHEN I FIRST CAME TO THIS PLANET, 425 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:45,192 I LOOKED AROUND FOR SIGNS OF INTELLIGENCE, BUT NOTHING MUCH, 426 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:48,128 CERTAINLY NOTHING TO JUSTIFY NOT BLOWING IT UP, 427 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:51,098 THEN...THEN, DICK, I MET YOU. 428 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,401 AH, YES, ME. WELL, THERE'S A REASON WHY YOU WERE SO IMPRESSED. 429 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,670 YOU SEE, I'M NOT FROM OHIO. 430 00:18:56,704 --> 00:18:59,106 YOU SEE, DICK, YOU PROVED TO ME 431 00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:01,541 THAT HUMAN BEINGS CAN BE BRIGHT 432 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:05,412 IN A SORT OF LOOK-WHAT- MY-2-YEAR-OLD-CAN-DO SORT OF WAY. 433 00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,113 THAT'S BECAUSE-- 434 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,247 THAT IS, IF, FOR 2 MINUTES, 435 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,550 THEY CAN GET THEIR MINDS OFF LARGE-BREASTED LIFEGUARDS, 436 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:14,487 COFFEE CAKE THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU FAT, AND CELINE DION. 437 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,023 SOMEBODY TELL HER TO STOP. 438 00:19:16,056 --> 00:19:18,425 THE BOAT SANK. LET IT GO. 439 00:19:19,727 --> 00:19:21,294 I'M NOT QUITE FOLLOWING. 440 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:24,497 DICK, YOU AND YOU ALONE 441 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:28,235 HAVE CONVINCED ME TO SPARE YOUR KIND. 442 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:28,568 ME? 443 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,570 MM-HMM. 444 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,071 ME? 445 00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:32,605 MM-HMM. 446 00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:35,642 OH, I SEE. 447 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:39,412 NOW, WHAT IS THIS THING THAT'S SO IMPORTANT ABOUT YOU 448 00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:41,214 THAT I SIMPLY HAVE TO KNOW IT? 449 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,449 WHAT? HMM? 450 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,917 OH! OH, THAT. 451 00:19:43,951 --> 00:19:45,652 YES. WELL, I'M, UH... 452 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:46,987 I'M AN--AN-- 453 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,889 I'M A... 454 00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:50,758 CANADIAN. 455 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:54,327 I'M SO SORRY. 456 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,296 NEVERTHELESS, I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING 457 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:57,697 THAT I HOPED I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO. 458 00:19:57,731 --> 00:19:58,631 WHAT? 459 00:19:58,665 --> 00:19:59,432 WELL, WE CAN'T HAVE YOU BLABBING ABOUT THIS 460 00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:00,567 TO EVERYONE, CAN WE? 461 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,936 SO I'M GOING TO SMOOTH OVER YOUR MEMORY TRACES, YOU SEE? 462 00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:05,472 NOW, THIS DEVICE IS VERY, VERY EFFICIENT, 463 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:08,208 BUT IT DOES MELT ABOUT HALF A HUMAN BRAIN. 464 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,743 PBBBLT! 465 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,216 THEY'LL NEVER NOTICE IN CANADA. 466 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,650 WELL, THEN... 467 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,352 AS I'M NOT BLOWING THE PLACE UP, 468 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,521 THAT'LL GIVE ME TIME TO BUY A FEW SOUVENIRS, 469 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,623 OR MAYBE I'LL GET A MASSAGE. 470 00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:26,293 YES, THAT'S IT, A MASSAGE. 471 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,499 HA! HA HA HA! 472 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,434 HUMAN BRAIN. 473 00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:39,372 SOME OF US DON'T HAVE A HUMAN BRAIN. 474 00:20:45,112 --> 00:20:47,647 SO, YOU SEE, I, AN ALIEN, SAVED THE EARTH 475 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,550 BY BEING A BETTER HUMAN THAN ANY HUMAN COULD EVER BE. 476 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,485 YEAH, DICK. WE GET THE IRONY. 477 00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:55,222 IT'S REALLY PRETTY OBVIOUS. 478 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,724 I JUST WISH THAT I COULD TELL ALL THE PEOPLE THAT I'VE SAVED. 479 00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,193 WOW! MARY ALBRIGHT AND ANOTHER ALIEN. 480 00:21:00,227 --> 00:21:01,795 WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT HAPPENING? 481 00:21:01,829 --> 00:21:02,662 OH, SHUT UP. 482 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:03,630 NO, SERIOUSLY. 483 00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:04,965 I MEAN, THE ODDS OF AN EARTH WOMAN 484 00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:07,467 HAVING A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP WITH AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL-- 485 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,602 WELL, THAT'S GOT TO BE ABOUT A BILLION TO ONE, 486 00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,671 BUT TO HAVE IT WITH TWO? WOW! 487 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,073 SHUT UP. 488 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,107 YOU DON'T SUPPOSE 489 00:21:14,141 --> 00:21:16,276 ALL THOSE OTHER GUYS SHE'S BEEN WITH WERE ALIENS? 490 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:18,678 WHAT OTHER GUYS? 491 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:29,222 [MUSIC FROM WAGNER'S * DAS RHEINGOLD ] 492 00:21:29,256 --> 00:21:34,261 [SINGING WAGNER'S * DAS RHEINGOLD ] 493 00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:42,769 SIT DOWN! 494 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:46,439 NOBODY LEAVES UNTIL WOTAN HAS STOLEN THE RING FROM ALBERICH! 495 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:47,474 SIT DOWN! 32925

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