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[♪♪♪]
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♪ Love and marriage ♪
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♪ Love and marriage ♪
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♪ Go together like ♪
5
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♪ A horse and carriage ♪
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♪ This I tell ya, brother ♪
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♪ You can't have one ♪
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♪ Without the other ♪
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♪ Love and marriage ♪
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♪ Love and marriage ♪
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♪ It's an institute ♪
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♪ You can't disparage ♪
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♪ Ask the local gentry ♪
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♪ And they will say
It's elementary ♪
15
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:55,832
♪ Try, try, try To
separate them ♪
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00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:59,536
♪ It's an illusion ♪
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00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:04,674
♪ Try, try, try And
you will only come ♪
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♪ To this conclusion ♪
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♪ Love and marriage ♪♪
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Al, come on down!
It's time for work!
21
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:25,862
Come on, honey.
22
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:28,865
I'm making you a
nice, hot breakfast.
23
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:32,391
Just listen to
that bacon sizzle.
24
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:35,838
[DOORBELL RINGS]
25
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,274
Keep it hot, Peg.
26
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,775
I'll be down in a minute.
27
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,477
Sure, I will.
28
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,479
Peggy, I've got some great news.
29
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,981
Two men came to our house...
30
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,983
Al, I'm going over to Marcie's!
31
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,373
They're gone now.
32
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,155
Al, Marcie's here.
33
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:55,158
Nice try, Peg,
but I'm still hungry.
34
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:56,659
Where's my breakfast?
35
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,261
The dog ate it.
36
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:02,865
I see he put the pots
and pans away too.
37
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:06,869
Al, I was just telling
Peggy about this great idea.
38
00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:09,872
You know that little
hole in your driveway,
39
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,874
the one all the neighborhood
children splash and play in
40
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,876
after it rains?
41
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,479
These guys just finished
a major repaving job
42
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,380
a couple of blocks from here.
43
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:20,883
And they offered to redo both
our driveways for only $500.
44
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:22,452
Isn't that great?
45
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,953
I don't know.
46
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,956
I tried to get Al to fix the
driveway a long time ago,
47
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,458
But his philosophy is
48
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:32,451
"Why improve a home you're
only going to live in anyway?"
49
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:36,133
Al, can you think
of a better way
50
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:38,001
to raise the value of your home
51
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,603
and save a little
money in the bargain?
52
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,960
Sure. Pack your bags, hon.
53
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,675
Look they said we
have to do this right away
54
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:46,676
or they'll be gone.
55
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,378
And I think it's a great deal.
56
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:51,014
Uh-huh. What does Steve think?
57
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,517
Well, he's in
Buffalo at a meeting
58
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,352
of Tellers Against the Penny.
59
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,753
Steve firmly believes
that the one-cent piece
60
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:57,920
is a thing of the past.
61
00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:00,624
Well, I'm sure the
feeling is mutual.
62
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,125
Come on, Al, make a decision.
63
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:05,094
These guys are leaving
the neighborhood.
64
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,296
Of course they're
leaving the neighborhood.
65
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,430
These guys are crooks.
66
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,831
First you gotta believe
they just happen
67
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,333
to be in the neighborhood.
68
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,469
And second, we have to believe
69
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:13,836
these two guys see Marcie,
70
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,300
and they're willing
to come back.
71
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,376
I mean, is there
nothing so stupid
72
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,545
that some woman
won't fall for it?
73
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:24,009
I fell for you, sweetie.
74
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,550
How could you marry
75
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,552
such a chauvinistic, sexist man?
76
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:29,908
A dare.
77
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:32,622
Look, I'm not sexist.
78
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:35,625
I'm just saying women
don't know nothing.
79
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:38,628
Asphalt and finances
are male-oriented fields.
80
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:43,132
Since Steve is as close
to a male as you have,
81
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,168
he should be in on the decision.
82
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,537
I'll have you know I have
a degree in economics
83
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:51,040
and work as a loan
officer in a bank.
84
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,475
So if anything, I
am more qualified
85
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:55,245
to make financial
decisions than you are.
86
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:58,915
As good as you bankers
may be at saying,
87
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,417
"We're sorry, Farmer Brown,
88
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,419
we're foreclosing.
Go sell pencils,"
89
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,921
in this house, I'm the boss,
90
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:07,490
and I make the
financial decisions.
91
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:11,294
And what a shrewd
financial decider he is too.
92
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:14,464
Come on, honey.
Tell her about the time
93
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,633
you shrewdly decided
not to buy into that property
94
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:20,970
that some sucker built
the Sears Tower on.
95
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,472
Don't forget, Peg.
96
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,474
The money we saved there
97
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,477
allowed us to buy that 2/3 acre
98
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,978
on lake Chicamacomico.
99
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,480
It may not look like much now,
100
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:31,681
but when they figure out how
101
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:34,484
to keep plants and
animals alive there,
102
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,219
that's gonna be
quite a little paradise.
103
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:39,922
I'll bet. But Al, I know a
good thing when I see it too.
104
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,125
And even without you,
the deal is still a good one,
105
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,893
and I'm going to do it.
106
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,718
Well, you are woman.
Go out and roar.
107
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,422
Mmm. I'm full.
108
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,926
Peg, as usual, every
day's Thanksgiving.
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00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,875
I'm going to work.
110
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,510
Marce, I'll see you tonight.
111
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,878
What for?
112
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,280
Well, after these
guys rip you off,
113
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,148
you'll be back to
tell me I was right.
114
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,616
Because I will be.
115
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,252
You're that sure of yourself?
116
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:12,389
Marcie, I'd bet my
retirement property on it
117
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:17,026
if the Army didn't
have it padlocked.
118
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:20,163
Peggy, I cannot for
the life of me understand
119
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,598
how you live with that man.
120
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,767
Well, in Al's defense,
121
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:27,337
what with overtime,
television, and the bathroom,
122
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,628
I really don't see
him very much.
123
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,464
See you later.
124
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,747
Mom, big news down the block.
125
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:40,049
The cops just
arrested these two guys
126
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,285
trying to pull the
old asphalt scam.
127
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,486
They what?
128
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,087
Yeah, you know the
one where they offer
129
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,356
to redo your
driveway real cheap,
130
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,358
but they just use oil,
131
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:51,361
so when it rains,
it all washes away.
132
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:55,387
You have to be a real
feeb to fall for that one.
133
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,138
Who are you calling?
134
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:05,642
Al's mother. I told him I'd
invite her for the summer
135
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,477
the next time he was
right about anything.
136
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,379
Well, how do you
think he'll take it?
137
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:10,447
Take what?
138
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,248
Hello?
139
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:15,051
My having to tell
Al he was right.
140
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:18,020
You're not seriously
going to do that are you?
141
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,121
Hello?
142
00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:21,023
Well, I have to. He's
bound to find out
143
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,592
if he hasn't already.
144
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,627
Marcie, let me
tell you something.
145
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:25,962
Peggy, is that you...?
146
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:29,932
In the 16 years that
I've been married to Al,
147
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,934
I've learned there are
certain things never to ask for.
148
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:35,271
Never approach him for sex
during Wide World of Sports.
149
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:39,976
Oh, unless women's gymnastics
are on, then you got a shot.
150
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,979
Never approach him
for sex in the morning.
151
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,981
He thinks that
is just disgusting.
152
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,450
And never ever
tell him he's right.
153
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:48,585
Why?
154
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,820
Because he's a man, Marcie.
155
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,088
And the only thing uglier
156
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:56,659
than a man who
thinks he's right is Al.
157
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,496
Believe me, I know
this from experience.
158
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,898
Let me tell you a story.
159
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,299
A few years after
we were married
160
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,002
I told Al that I could
hold up a fender
161
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,137
so he could fix the flat tire.
162
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:12,008
He said, "No, let a
man do it." I said I could.
163
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,511
So to make a long story short,
164
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:17,514
a man had to set
his leg that night.
165
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:20,950
But, to this day, whenever I
ask Al to do something for me,
166
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,151
that he doesn't want to do,
167
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,454
he lifts up that leg
and says he can't
168
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,456
and that it's my fault.
169
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,459
The worst part
about it is, he's right.
170
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,851
Marcie, don't let
him lift his leg on you.
171
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:43,139
AL: Guess, I'll see
you tonight, Marce.
172
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,307
MARCIE: What for?
173
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,242
AL: To tell me I was right.
174
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,244
PEG: You're not seriously
going to do that, are you?
175
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:51,314
AL: Tell me I was right.
176
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:52,816
I was right.
177
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,560
STEVE: Marcie, I'm back!
178
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,655
Steve?
179
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:02,158
I thought you weren't due
back till tomorrow night.
180
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,548
I missed you.
181
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,665
I'm sorry I didn't call.
182
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,367
So you want to fool around?
183
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,859
Well, sure.
184
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,063
I'm so glad to hear that.
185
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,739
[DOORBELL RINGS]
186
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:35,124
I haven't slept in 18 hours.
187
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:39,428
Oh, Steve's not back yet.
188
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,631
You have those
empty bed blues, huh?
189
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,433
Well, yes and no.
190
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:47,036
Peggy, do you ever dream?
191
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,361
Nah. Why dream,
when I have all this?
192
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:56,980
No, I mean do you
ever have dreams?
193
00:08:57,004 --> 00:09:00,349
Nightmares? I had a
real doozy last night.
194
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,851
What about?
195
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:02,852
Al.
196
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,020
Al?
197
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,555
My Al?
198
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,891
Yeah. See, I was asleep...
199
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,380
Did he have feet?
200
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:12,361
Beg pardon?
201
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,663
It's funny.
202
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:16,666
In my dreams, Al
never has any feet.
203
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,502
Oh, well. Go on.
204
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,905
In my dream, Steve came in
205
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:27,143
and asked me if I
wanted to fool around.
206
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,345
And when I said yes,
he turned and it was Al.
207
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,479
My Al?
208
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,582
Well, then what happened?
209
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:33,750
Nothing.
210
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,640
Yep, sounds like my Al.
211
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:40,590
I hope you're not upset, Peggy.
212
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:43,092
About a dream? Don't be silly.
213
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:46,596
Plus, if you dreamed that
Al was in your bedroom,
214
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,265
I should be apologizing to you.
215
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,569
Thanks, Peggy.
216
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:54,037
Oh, but could you do me a favor?
217
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,505
Please don't tell Al about this.
218
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,007
Oh, don't worry.
219
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,509
But could you do
something for me?
220
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,012
If you ever dream
about Al again,
221
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,015
could you check and
see if he has any feet?
222
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,516
That really bothers me.
223
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:08,807
Sure thing.
224
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:11,721
Hi, Marce. Hi, Peg.
225
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,979
Bye, Peggy... Al.
226
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,361
What's with her?
227
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:22,553
She had a dream she
slept with you last night.
228
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,557
Oh, yeah?
229
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,060
She's a lucky gal.
230
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,254
STEVE: Marcie, I'm home.
231
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,615
Steve?
232
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:39,804
Yeah.
233
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,451
Sorry I'm late, honey.
234
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,476
The pro-penny people
pelted us with nickels.
235
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:48,992
Did I wake you?
236
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,293
Steve, it is you.
237
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,795
Of course it's me.
238
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,152
Give me a hug.
239
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,199
Did you miss me?
240
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,367
Mm-hmm.
241
00:10:58,391 --> 00:10:59,535
Don't worry.
242
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,492
Daddy's home.
243
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:06,430
And Daddy's going
to make it all better.
244
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,458
STEVE: Marcie, I'm home.
245
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:19,210
Hon, you wouldn't believe
the traffic over O'Hare tonight.
246
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:23,760
I swear...
247
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:27,752
Someday that's where they're
going to find Amelia Earhart.
248
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,723
But...
249
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,525
The eagle has landed.
250
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,630
You want to fool around?
251
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,057
Pizza's here.
252
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:57,226
Kelly, you know that's
not the way to hold a pizza.
253
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,428
Mom, have you ever tried
to carry one of these things
254
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:02,131
sitting on the back
of a Harley going 60
255
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,233
while trying to
hold onto a fat guy
256
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,202
who's wearing nothing but
chains and black leather.
257
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:10,128
Yes, I have, and that
is not the way to do it.
258
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,246
Mom, are we gonna do
anything different this summer?
259
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,249
Well, Daddy got seats
for the ballgames again.
260
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,417
Oh, puke.
261
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,119
I thought you liked the Cubs.
262
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,121
I do, I just hate watching
them from the roof
263
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:28,424
of that apartment building
where Dad always gets his seats.
264
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,826
Well, honey, maybe
someday they'll forget about
265
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:32,595
that fan interference call
266
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,598
that kept the Cubs
out of the World Series
267
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:38,134
and let Daddy back
into the stadium.
268
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,336
I hope so, because
it looks so stupid
269
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,606
with just us and the
Polaskis doing the wave.
270
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,130
[DOORBELL RINGS]
271
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,217
Marcie, you're a wreck.
272
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:57,253
Oh, I see.
273
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,755
Steve got back,
274
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:02,759
and you two were
at it all night, huh?
275
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,227
No.
276
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:07,618
I had that dream
again... With Al.
277
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,136
See, this is the part where
you're supposed to make a joke
278
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,737
about Al being quick in the sack
279
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,139
so I can laugh and see that
280
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,506
you're not really
mad or anything.
281
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,908
Marcie, that's two
nights in a row.
282
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:22,078
Al hasn't been quick
in the sack with me
283
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,647
for two nights
in a row in years.
284
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,682
Hey, you think
I'm enjoying this?
285
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:29,051
I was throwing up all night.
286
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:31,943
Well, so did I at
first, but it passes.
287
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:39,061
Whatever happened to "It's only
a dream. Don't worry about it?"
288
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:42,064
Peggy, can't you see what
hell my life's becoming?
289
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,566
I haven't slept in 48 hours.
290
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,068
Steve's mad at me
291
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:49,038
because every time he
brings up sex, I get sick.
292
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:51,007
And now you're yelling at me.
293
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,508
And why not?
294
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,477
You're the one dreaming
around with my husband.
295
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,313
Hey, Peg.
296
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,369
Ha!
297
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,820
Hey, Marce.
298
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,645
I tell you, what a day.
299
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,232
All day long, it's
pick up the shoes.
300
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:19,235
Put down the shoes.
Pick up the shoes.
301
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,738
Tomorrow ought to
be a good day for you.
302
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:26,630
Tomorrow I wash
the car... in my t-shirt.
303
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:31,580
I can't believe you told him.
304
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,449
I can't believe you
dream about him.
305
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,473
I can't believe
everybody doesn't.
306
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,822
I'm mortified.
307
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,212
Well, get happy.
308
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:50,699
Well, Peg, it looks
like another little filly
309
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,590
in the old Bundy stable.
310
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,504
Get me a beer, will ya?
311
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:58,140
Al, what are you doing
in Marcie's dream?
312
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,531
Ruining her for all other men.
313
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,181
You are doing something
to cause those dreams.
314
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:08,184
Now I don't know what it
is, but I want you to cut it out.
315
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,486
I'll cut it out, Peg,
just tell me what to do.
316
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,321
What should I do,
stop wearing t-shirts?
317
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:15,992
Stop oozing sex from every pore?
318
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:19,228
That isn't sex, Al.
319
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,264
What should I do, Peg?
320
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,266
Well, you could come upstairs
321
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:26,269
and be my
dreamlover for a while.
322
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,770
Peg, not tonight.
323
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,161
This leg has been acting up.
324
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,576
Ever since that
night with the car...
325
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,644
Fine, fine.
326
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,079
Then let's discuss
who else's dreams
327
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:40,082
you've been
gallivanting around in.
328
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,584
Perhaps Mrs. Pritchard
across the street.
329
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:46,588
I've seen how she looks
at you over her walker.
330
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,413
If you think...
331
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,899
♪ If you want my body ♪
332
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,867
♪ And you think I'm sexy ♪
333
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:02,093
♪ Come on, sugar Let me know ♪
334
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,176
♪ If you really Need me ♪
335
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,211
♪ Just reach out And touch me ♪♪
336
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:11,713
Steve, please.
I'm trying to read.
337
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:13,582
You don't have to stop.
338
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,484
Just get me a
hammer and I'll just nail
339
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,668
that sucker to the ceiling.
340
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:18,720
Steve!
341
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,222
I have a question.
342
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,958
Do you think it's possible
343
00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:24,226
to dream that you're
interpreting a dream
344
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,928
or must you be awake to do this?
345
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,930
And what are dreams anyway?
346
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:30,499
Could we just be the dream of
some greater sleeping being?
347
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:34,258
And if so, are we
then in fact real?
348
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,462
I want sex, Marcie.
349
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,134
I think I'm getting nauseous.
350
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,582
All right. That's it.
351
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:50,819
Look, I've asked more
than a couple of women
352
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,222
to go to bed with me in my time.
353
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,623
While I admit some
of their responses
354
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,592
may have been somewhat cruel,
355
00:16:56,616 --> 00:17:02,131
not very many jumped up and
stuck their heads in the toilet.
356
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,966
Now something
strange is going on here,
357
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:06,268
and I demand to know what it is.
358
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,769
Don't toy with me, Marcie.
359
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:10,661
I'm horny, and
I've been to Buffalo.
360
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,779
Well... okay, I'll tell you,
361
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:21,283
but you have to
promise not to get angry.
362
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:22,784
Fine.
363
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:25,143
Well, it's like this...
364
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,793
STEVE: Al?!
365
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,061
And where are you
when I dream, huh?
366
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:34,596
Where were you when I
dreamt I was drowning?
367
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,232
How could I swim?
368
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,689
You said I have no feet.
369
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:43,194
If you loved me, you
would have paddled.
370
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:46,975
[DOOR SLAMS]
371
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,310
Ah.
372
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:49,745
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
373
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,247
Who is it?
374
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:54,305
Steven Bartholomew Rhoades.
375
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:57,675
Bartholomew?
376
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:04,982
Al, I'm horny. What are
you going to do about it?
377
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,099
Get in there.
378
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,101
Don't go yelling
things like that.
379
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:15,438
I've got kids up
there Or out there...
380
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,982
Somewhere. I don't know.
381
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:20,476
Did she tell you, Steve?
382
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,665
Yes, Peggy.
383
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,781
He's an animal.
384
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:29,151
I don't know what happened,
I go out of town for one day,
385
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,287
I come back, my
wife's throwing up
386
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:34,123
and dreaming she's
sleeping with your husband.
387
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:37,826
I guess that's why
they call it the blues.
388
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,795
I'm getting out of here.
389
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,797
You two can go on blaming me
390
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,800
for the dreams of
an insane woman.
391
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,635
I'm going to a hotel.
392
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,637
Better make it the Y.
393
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:51,395
I don't want any
women to see me.
394
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:57,135
Well, look who's here.
The dream weaver.
395
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:01,750
Why can't you have
normal dreams like me?
396
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:04,253
You know, where
you're Maharajah Bundy
397
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:07,845
and women with four
breasts feed you ding dongs?
398
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,128
Is Steve in there?
399
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:14,930
No. There are no
other men in my dream.
400
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:17,933
Just Phil Donahue, and we
feed him to the lizard people.
401
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:21,303
No, I meant is
Steve in your house?
402
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,605
Oh, yeah.
403
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,773
He and Peg want me dead.
404
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,164
You just want me.
405
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:29,467
Sit down, Al.
406
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,083
You're not going to be looking
at my butt or anything, right?
407
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,286
I think I can guarantee that.
408
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,820
Sit down, Al.
409
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:39,844
All right.
410
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,793
What is it?
411
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:48,964
I know now why I was
having those dreams.
412
00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:52,401
Remember the driveway repavers
you said were gonna rip me off?
413
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:55,404
They were, Al,
but I never told you.
414
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:59,241
And the guilt I had
manifested itself in my dreams.
415
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:02,244
I thought that...
That I desired you?
416
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,312
No, Al.
417
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:06,382
I was being punished,
418
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:10,752
much as sex with you
must actually be like.
419
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:14,590
So now, in order to
rid myself of the guilt
420
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,592
and those horrible,
horrible dreams,
421
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,495
I've come to say you were right.
422
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,263
You hear that, Al?
423
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,599
You were right, and I was wrong.
424
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:26,435
You're the man,
and I'm the woman.
425
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,271
And in this case,
the man was right.
426
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:32,107
The man knew
better than the woman.
427
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:34,142
The woman should
have listened to the man.
428
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,944
Satisfied, Al? Is that
what you want to hear?
429
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,946
Wait a second, hold on a second.
430
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,837
You didn't desire me?
431
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:45,175
You didn't even have feet.
432
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:50,058
Marcie, I thought I
heard you out here.
433
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,393
What's going on?
434
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:54,330
Nothing. Just purging
myself, that's all.
435
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,898
Oh, honey, not again.
436
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,234
Not that.
437
00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,901
Everything's fine now.
438
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,737
Let's go home.
439
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,905
You mean home as in...
440
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:06,464
Last one up has
to read the ceiling.
441
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,068
I'm going to have sex, Al.
442
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:18,754
What's everybody talking about?
443
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,144
I got feet.
444
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,928
Al, Steve and I were talking
445
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,565
about you being in
Marcie's dream, and...
446
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:33,269
I was right about it
being stupid to blame me.
447
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,405
You're not gonna lord
this over me, are you?
448
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:38,540
Sure, I am, Peg.
449
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:40,376
Well, I'm going up to bed now.
450
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:41,400
Good.
451
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,415
Why don't you come
on up and show me
452
00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:49,050
what dreams are really made of?
453
00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:51,942
I'll be up in a little bit, Peg.
454
00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:04,021
Well, at least it's all over.
455
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,236
PEG: Al!
456
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:09,905
Al, you coming up?
457
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:13,297
I said I'd be up
in a second, Peg.
458
00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:28,479
I said I'd be right up.
459
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:33,462
Well, don't wait
too long... tiger.
460
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:36,987
AL: Aah!
461
00:22:48,668 --> 00:22:51,301
[♪♪♪]
30365
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