Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,108
WHY COME TO SCHOOL
TO TALK TO TOMMY'S TEACHERS?
2
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,442
IT'S A COMPLETE
WASTE OF TIME.
3
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:09,944
WHY CAN'T THEY
COME TO US?
4
00:00:09,978 --> 00:00:11,880
THE HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS
ON THIS PLANET
5
00:00:11,913 --> 00:00:13,948
ARE SO FULL
OF THEMSELVES.
6
00:00:13,982 --> 00:00:16,851
IT'S ALL THOSE
TV COMMERCIALS
GLORIFYING LEARNING.
7
00:00:16,885 --> 00:00:18,887
"THE MORE YOU KNOW."
8
00:00:20,789 --> 00:00:22,223
IT MAKES THEM
DRUNK WITH POWER.
9
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:24,659
YEAH. WELL, THAT'S
GOING TO CHANGE
RIGHT NOW.
10
00:00:24,693 --> 00:00:26,427
WHERE'S THIS
MR. RANDELL, ANYWAY?
11
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,697
WHEN THAT MEALY-MOUTHED
LITTLE WORM SHOWS UP,
12
00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:30,865
I'LL TEACH HIM
THE MEANING OF THE WORD--
13
00:00:30,899 --> 00:00:33,902
HIYA.
14
00:00:33,935 --> 00:00:35,236
DR. AND MRS. SOLOMON?
15
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:35,604
NO.
16
00:00:35,637 --> 00:00:38,573
NO, NO, NO.
17
00:00:38,607 --> 00:00:40,809
I'M HIS SISTER.
18
00:00:40,842 --> 00:00:42,811
A WOMAN.
19
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,846
NOT MARRIED.
20
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,547
JUST ME.
21
00:00:46,581 --> 00:00:49,317
SINGLE SALLY.
22
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:53,021
I'D LIKE TO GET
OUT OF HERE WHILE
I'M STILL CLEAN-SHAVEN.
23
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,590
SO YOU CAN BEGIN
LAVISHING TOMMY
WITH PRAISES
24
00:00:55,624 --> 00:00:57,291
ANYTIME YOU'RE READY.
25
00:00:57,325 --> 00:01:00,261
WELL, UH, THE TRUTH IS,
26
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:02,030
I THINK TOMMY
CAN DO A LOT BETTER.
27
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:04,065
BE CAREFUL, SIR.
YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT THE CREATURE
28
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:07,836
I'VE COME TO THINK OF
AS MY SON.
29
00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:10,338
HE COULD DO BETTER.
30
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,273
YOU KNOW...
31
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:14,375
WHATEVER.
32
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:15,977
EXCUSE US.
33
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:16,911
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
34
00:01:16,945 --> 00:01:19,180
HE'S GIVING OFF THIS VIBE.
CAN'T YOU FEEL IT?
35
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:24,052
DOES IT FEEL LIKE
A STABBING PAIN
IN YOUR LEFT BUTTOCK?
36
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:24,919
NO.
37
00:01:24,953 --> 00:01:29,590
THEN I APPEAR TO BE
SITTING ON A TACK.
38
00:01:29,624 --> 00:01:30,792
DR. SOLOMON.
39
00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:32,661
TOMMY'S VERY BRIGHT--
NO QUESTION.
40
00:01:32,694 --> 00:01:35,163
UNFORTUNATELY, TOMMY'S
HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE
FITTING IN.
41
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:35,997
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
42
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:37,966
EXCUSE ME,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
43
00:01:37,999 --> 00:01:39,467
ABOUT THE THICKNESS
OF YOUR NECK
44
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,836
AND THE BROADNESS
OF YOUR SHOULDERS
45
00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:44,706
THAT MAKES ME THINK
YOU'D BE
AN AGILE HUNTER
46
00:01:44,739 --> 00:01:48,843
AND PROVIDE WELL
FOR OUR CHILDREN.
47
00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:51,079
SALLY, I CHAPERONE
THE SCHOOL DANCE EVERY YEAR.
WOULD YOU--
48
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,881
YES.
49
00:01:54,082 --> 00:01:54,783
GREAT.
50
00:01:54,816 --> 00:01:56,384
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ABOUT TOMMY?
51
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,720
HE'S FINE. GREAT KID.
52
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:03,324
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO
IN THE FIRST PLACE?
53
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,093
NEXT TIME, YOU MIGHT TRY
ORGANIZING YOUR THOUGHTS
54
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:08,296
ON A LITTLE INDEX CARD
FIRST. COME ON.
55
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,265
WASN'T HE CUTE?
56
00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,534
TOTALLY ADORABLE.
A LITTLE ON
THE SCATTERED SIDE.
57
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,170
HE ASKED ME TO GO
TO A DANCE.
I GET TO GO DANCING!
58
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,772
NICE.
59
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:20,909
WHAT'S DANCING?
60
00:02:20,942 --> 00:02:23,712
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
61
00:02:54,142 --> 00:02:56,110
HARRY,
CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?
62
00:02:56,144 --> 00:02:57,278
OH, UH, SURE.
63
00:02:57,311 --> 00:03:00,815
JUST GIVE ME A SECOND
TO FINISH
WHAT I WAS DOING.
64
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,391
O.K., WHAT IS IT?
65
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,195
CAN YOU DANCE?
66
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:17,098
HMM. I HAVE NO IDEA,
BUT I'LL TRY.
67
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:19,600
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
68
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,402
[SNAPPING FINGERS]
69
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,271
WHY, YES, I CAN.
70
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:28,676
IT APPEARS
I'M QUITE GOOD.
71
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,044
HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?
72
00:03:30,078 --> 00:03:31,212
I HAVE NO IDEA.
73
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:33,081
I THINK IT'S
A BUILT-IN FUNCTION.
74
00:03:33,114 --> 00:03:34,348
YOU TRY.
75
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:41,890
WOW.
76
00:03:41,923 --> 00:03:43,624
YOU SUCK.
77
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:49,030
YOU MUST FEEL LIKE CRAP.
78
00:03:50,031 --> 00:03:51,165
THAT'S IT--
79
00:03:51,199 --> 00:03:53,001
SMACK ME.
80
00:03:56,771 --> 00:03:59,974
TOMMY. I TALKED
TO YOUR TEACHER
MR. RANDELL.
81
00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:01,609
HE SAID YOU'RE NOT
FITTING IN.
82
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,444
OF COURSE I'M NOT
FITTING IN.
83
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,013
TO FIT IN,
YOU HAVE TO BE
SOMETHING.
84
00:04:05,046 --> 00:04:07,381
WELL, WE'RE SOMETHING.
WE'RE HUMAN BEINGS.
85
00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:09,283
WHY? HAS ANYONE
SAID DIFFERENTLY?
86
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:13,087
NO, IT'S JUST THAT
EVERYBODY AT SCHOOL
IS SOMETHING EXTRA.
87
00:04:13,121 --> 00:04:15,623
THEY'RE AFRICAN-AMERICAN
OR ITALIAN-AMERICAN,
88
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:20,161
ASIAN-AMERICAN,
AUDIO-VISUAL AMERICAN.
89
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:22,463
WELL, WE'RE HUMAN-AMERICAN.
THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH.
90
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,999
DICK, IT'S PART OF MY
MISSION AS AN ADOLESCENT
91
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:27,035
TO REBEL AGAINST
MY UPBRINGING.
92
00:04:27,068 --> 00:04:31,072
IF YOU DON'T TELL ME
WHAT WE ARE,
I CAN'T DO MY JOB.
93
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:34,175
IF WE HAVE TO BE
PART OF SOME GROUP,
WE WILL BE.
94
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,144
I'LL DO SOME RESEARCH.
I'LL ASK AROUND.
95
00:04:36,177 --> 00:04:37,645
I'LL FIND OUT
WHAT THE BEST THING
TO BE IS.
96
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,914
BY WEEK'S END,
WE'LL BE THAT.
97
00:04:39,948 --> 00:04:41,682
WHAT SHOULD I BE
TILL THEN?
98
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,985
WE'RE CARBON-BASED
LIFE FORMS.
99
00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:47,088
JUST TELL EVERYONE
WE'RE CARBO-AMERICANS.
100
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,628
AZTEC...
101
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:55,864
TOLTEC...
102
00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:58,432
TOLTEC, INCA, INUIT...
103
00:04:58,466 --> 00:04:59,333
BEDOUIN,
104
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:00,768
INDIAN...
105
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:01,735
SIKH.
106
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,304
[CLEARS THROAT]
107
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,805
AZTEC, TOLTEC,
TOLTEC, INCA,
108
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,908
INCA, BEDOUIN,
INDIAN, SIKH.
109
00:05:06,941 --> 00:05:08,176
AZTEC, TOLTEC,
TOLTEC, INCA,
110
00:05:08,209 --> 00:05:10,478
INCA, BEDOUIN, IND--
111
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:11,980
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
AT MY DESK?
112
00:05:12,013 --> 00:05:14,815
ANTHROPOLOGY--
IT'S FASCINATING.
113
00:05:14,849 --> 00:05:16,550
SUCH A WEALTH
OF CULTURES.
114
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:19,387
UP UNTIL NOW,
I THOUGHT WHAT YOU DID
WAS POINTLESS
115
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:23,491
AND OF NO INTEREST
TO ANYONE BUT YOURSELF.
116
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,759
WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY
NOT AS FASCINATING
AS PHYSICS.
117
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:29,797
I MEAN, EVERYBODY
LOVES MATH.
118
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,234
NINA, WHAT IS THAT
THING ON YOUR HEAD?
119
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:34,502
IT'S CALLED A DAIKU.
120
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,070
I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
121
00:05:36,104 --> 00:05:37,571
THANK YOU.
IT'S AUTHENTIC.
122
00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,941
IT MAKES ME FEEL
CONNECTED
TO MY ANCESTORS.
123
00:05:39,974 --> 00:05:44,045
SO THAT'S
THE TRADITIONAL HEADDRESS
OF ANCIENT SECRETARIES?
124
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:50,718
NO.
125
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:53,021
OF MY AFRICAN
ANCESTORS.
126
00:05:53,054 --> 00:05:54,655
IN CASE
YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,
127
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,257
I'M BLACK.
128
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,527
WELL, OF COURSE
I NOTICED.
129
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,031
AND DR. ALBRIGHT,
YOU ARE...
130
00:06:03,064 --> 00:06:05,666
COULD I BE
ANY WHITER?
131
00:06:08,970 --> 00:06:10,704
WHAT?
132
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,941
I'M SORRY.
ALL YOU PEOPLE
LOOK ALIKE TO ME.
133
00:06:12,974 --> 00:06:16,044
EXCUSE ME?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
134
00:06:16,077 --> 00:06:19,613
I DON'T SEE WHY
PEOPLE HAVE TO DIVIDE UP
INTO ARBITRARY SUBSETS.
135
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:22,917
I MEAN, SKIN COLOR,
PLEASE.
136
00:06:22,951 --> 00:06:25,719
YOU MAY SEE COLOR,
BUT I SEE PEOPLE.
137
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:29,057
AREN'T WE FORTUNATE
TO HAVE SOMEONE
SO ENLIGHTENED?
138
00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,024
[SIGHS]
139
00:06:30,058 --> 00:06:33,661
OH, PIOUS ONE,
SHOW US THE WAY.
140
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:36,064
THIS VERGES ON SARCASM.
141
00:06:36,097 --> 00:06:37,498
MY HERITAGE
HAPPENS TO BE
142
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:38,967
VERY IMPORTANT
TO ME.
143
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,468
AS IT SHOULD BE.
144
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,270
I'M IRISH,
AND I'M VERY PROUD
OF THAT.
145
00:06:42,303 --> 00:06:44,772
AND YOU'RE...WHAT?
146
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,606
UH, ME?
147
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,475
I--I--I--I'M, UH...
148
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,710
ONE OF THOSE, UH...
149
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,247
YOU KNOW, ONE OF
THE REALLY GOOD ONES.
150
00:06:53,281 --> 00:06:54,815
YOU'RE THIS BIG
ANTHROPOLOGIST.
151
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,184
YOU TELL ME.
WHAT AM I?
152
00:06:56,217 --> 00:06:57,018
CERTIFIABLE.
153
00:06:57,051 --> 00:07:00,721
YES, THAT'S WHAT I AM...
CERTIFIABLE.
154
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,823
CERTIFIABLE
AND DAMN PROUD OF IT.
155
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,458
AS MY FATHER WAS BEFORE ME
156
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:08,096
AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM
AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM.
157
00:07:08,129 --> 00:07:09,930
CERTIFIABLE.
158
00:07:09,964 --> 00:07:13,301
OF COURSE,
WE NO LONGER PRACTICE.
159
00:07:18,106 --> 00:07:21,009
YOU SEE, SALLY,
DANCING IS
ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE.
160
00:07:21,042 --> 00:07:22,343
WATCH HARRY.
161
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:24,745
SEE...
* I GOT THAT HIP-HOP
STREAK *
162
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,014
* DON'T CARE ABOUT NOTHIN'
163
00:07:26,047 --> 00:07:30,584
* 'CAUSE I'M ALL OF THAT
AND A SIDE OF FRIES... *
164
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,553
WHEREAS MY ATTITUDE
IS MORE...
165
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:33,954
* GOT HOME
FROM TEACHIN' PHYSICS *
166
00:07:33,988 --> 00:07:35,323
* AND I'M WONDERIN'
WHAT'S FOR DINNER *
167
00:07:35,356 --> 00:07:36,690
* BUT I AIN'T
GONNA SWEAT IT *
168
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:38,526
* 'CAUSE I AIN'T
EVEN FROM HERE *
169
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,261
HUH! HUH!
HUH! HUH!
170
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,396
HUH! HUH!
HUH! HUH!
171
00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:44,032
* ALTHOUGH WE DIS 'EM
172
00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:46,200
* WE LOVE
THIS SOLAR SYSTEM *
173
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,374
I HATE THIS!
174
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:54,742
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I HAVE TO LEARN
HOW TO DANCE
175
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,044
TO BE WITH THIS GUY.
176
00:07:56,077 --> 00:07:57,845
IF YOU REALLY WANT
MR. RANDELL,
177
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,748
USE THE SKILLS
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH.
178
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,283
SHOOT A TRANQUILIZER DART
INTO HIS NECK
179
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,386
AND DRAG HIM BACK
TO YOUR PLACE.
180
00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:07,921
THAT IS NOT
THE BEHAVIOR
OF A HUMAN FEMALE.
181
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,290
EXACTLY.
182
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,225
I WANT TO CHARM HIM,
BEGUILE HIM...
183
00:08:11,259 --> 00:08:15,063
I WANT HIM TO BUY ME
A PWESENT.
184
00:08:15,096 --> 00:08:16,230
TOMMY,
HOW WAS SCHOOL?
185
00:08:16,264 --> 00:08:17,298
AWFUL.
186
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,499
I LOST MY MATH BOOK,
187
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:22,603
AND I COULDN'T CONVINCE
ANYBODY THAT I WAS SAMOAN.
188
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:23,304
DON'T WORRY.
189
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,038
THE ANSWER
TO ALL OUR PROBLEMS
190
00:08:24,072 --> 00:08:26,340
IS RIGHT HERE
IN THIS BOOK.
191
00:08:26,374 --> 00:08:29,343
IT'S LOADED WITH
EVERY POSSIBLE GENRE
OF HUMAN.
192
00:08:29,377 --> 00:08:30,544
IT'S LIKE A CATALOG.
193
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:33,981
YOU CAN TAKE YOU PICK,
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE.
194
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,849
SO, WHO DO YOU
WANT TO JOIN?
195
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:38,018
THEY'RE
TOO SCRAWNY.
196
00:08:38,052 --> 00:08:38,586
THEM?
197
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,455
NO. UGLY FLAG.
198
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:45,093
NO. TOO MANY GODS.
199
00:08:45,126 --> 00:08:47,728
I'M NOT PUTTING THAT
ON MY HEAD.
200
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,997
AHA! HERE WE GO.
201
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,399
CANADIANS.
202
00:08:51,432 --> 00:08:53,734
YAH. RIGHT.
203
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,972
NOW, LET'S HAVE A LOOK
AT EINSTEIN'S
BOUNDARY CONDITIONS
204
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,041
ACCORDING TO
THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY.
205
00:09:01,075 --> 00:09:04,445
EINSTEIN, A JEW...
206
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:06,147
NEVER COULD HAVE MADE
THIS BREAKTHROUGH
207
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,881
HAD IT NOT BEEN
FOR THE EARLIER WORK
208
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,384
OF COPERNICUS, POLISH...
209
00:09:10,418 --> 00:09:12,186
OR TYCHO BRAHE,
210
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:15,022
THE UNLUCKY DANE
FROM PRAGUE.
211
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,724
WHICH BRINGS UP
ANOTHER QUESTION.
212
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,792
HOW MANY PUERTO RICANS
DO WE HAVE IN CLASS?
213
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,928
ANY PUERTO RICANS?
214
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,098
LEON, WHAT ARE YOU?
215
00:09:24,132 --> 00:09:25,366
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
ANSWER THAT.
216
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,067
DUTCH.
217
00:09:27,101 --> 00:09:28,769
I LOVE YOUR TULIPS
AND YOUR DIKES.
218
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,938
OH, THANK YOU.
219
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,005
HOWEVER, I TURNED
YOUR PEOPLE DOWN
220
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,208
BECAUSE OF
THE SILLY SHOES.
221
00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:35,809
O.K. NO PUERTO RICANS?
222
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,345
ANY LATINOS IN GENERAL?
223
00:09:37,378 --> 00:09:39,313
ANYONE WITH
LATINO INFORMATION?
224
00:09:39,347 --> 00:09:41,014
DR. SOLOMON,
WITH ALL
DUE RESPECT,
225
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,516
I FIND THIS
OFFENSIVE.
226
00:09:42,550 --> 00:09:43,617
PITTMAN, YOU WON'T
BE LEFT OUT,
227
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:46,854
I'LL GET TO THE ASIANS.
228
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,157
WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY
SO INTERESTED IN WHAT
EVERYBODY IS?
229
00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:50,591
I HAVE TO KNOW.
IT'S IMPORTANT.
230
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:51,859
YES, IT IS.
NO, IT'S NOT.
231
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,026
NO, IT'S NOT.
232
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:55,329
THE ONLY THING
THAT MATTERS
ABOUT A PERSON
233
00:09:55,363 --> 00:09:57,365
IS WHAT THEY
HAVE INSIDE.
234
00:09:57,398 --> 00:10:01,469
YEAH? THEN HOW COME
YOU ONLY DATE
GOOD-LOOKING GUYS.
235
00:10:01,502 --> 00:10:03,271
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
236
00:10:03,304 --> 00:10:04,572
YOU TURNED HIM DOWN.
237
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,607
SHUT UP.
238
00:10:09,377 --> 00:10:10,411
HERE ARE YOUR BOOKS.
239
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,079
I READ
EACH ONE OF THEM,
240
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,183
AND I'M
JUST AS CONFUSED
AS I EVER WAS.
241
00:10:15,216 --> 00:10:17,718
YOU READ 15 BOOKS
IN ONE NIGHT?
242
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,853
WELL, I TOOK
A COUPLE OF HOURS OUT
243
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,555
TO WATCH JAPANESE GOLF
ON CABLE.
244
00:10:24,225 --> 00:10:26,994
THE PROBLEM IS,
THESE BOOKS ARE FULL
OF DRY FACTS,
245
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,363
BUT NO VALUE JUDGMENTS.
246
00:10:29,397 --> 00:10:31,799
THIS IS YOUR FIELD.
YOU TELL ME.
247
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:34,702
OUT OF ALL THE POSSIBLE
ETHNIC GROUPS,
WHICH IS THE BEST?
248
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,637
OH, NO.
THERE'S NO BEST.
249
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,138
IT'S ALL SUBJECTIVE.
250
00:10:38,172 --> 00:10:40,007
WHICH DO YOU FIND
THE MOST INTERESTING?
251
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,442
OH, THERE'S SO MANY.
252
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:45,213
I LOVE
THE CREATIVE AMBITION
OF THE MAORI PEOPLE.
253
00:10:45,246 --> 00:10:49,617
UH...THE POLYNESIAN CULTURE
WITH ITS JOYOUS
EMBRACE OF NATURE.
254
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,752
UH, THE QUIET DIGNITY--
255
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,254
WHAT'S THE SEXIEST?
256
00:10:53,287 --> 00:10:55,289
ITALIANS.
257
00:10:55,323 --> 00:10:56,557
ITALIANS.
258
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,125
SMOKY, SWARTHY--
259
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,960
GOTTA HAVE 'EM.
260
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,196
OH. GOT TO GO.
261
00:11:03,631 --> 00:11:05,433
ITALIANS.
262
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:16,677
* IN NAPOLI
263
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:21,215
* WHERE LOVE IS-A KING
264
00:11:21,249 --> 00:11:26,487
* WHERE A BOY
MEETS A GIRL *
265
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:33,261
* HERE IS-A WHAT
THEY SING *
266
00:11:33,294 --> 00:11:36,964
* WHEN THE MOON
HITS-A YOUR EYE *
267
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,032
* LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE
268
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:42,536
* THAT'S AMORE *
269
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,273
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
270
00:11:45,306 --> 00:11:48,108
BUONA SERA, SIGNORINA.
271
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:52,513
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
272
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,948
* WHEN THE WORLD-A
SEEMS TO SHINE *
273
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:57,117
* LIKE-A YOU'VE HAD-A YOU
TOO MUCH WINE *
274
00:11:57,150 --> 00:12:01,755
* THAT'S AMORE *
275
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:04,157
* BELLS WILL RING,
TING-A-TING-A-LING *
276
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,459
* TING-A-TING-A-LING
277
00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:08,729
* AND YOU'LL SING VI *
278
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:13,133
* TA BELLA
279
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,202
* HEARTS WILL PLAY,
TIPPY-TIPPY-TAY *
280
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,270
* TIPPY-TIPPY-TAY
281
00:12:16,304 --> 00:12:19,273
* LIKE A GAY TAR
282
00:12:19,307 --> 00:12:20,040
* AN
283
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,909
* TELLA
284
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:25,178
[SHOUTS IN ITALIAN]
285
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,653
[MAN]
WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON OUT THERE?
286
00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:35,489
NOTHING, MR. RATNER!
287
00:12:35,523 --> 00:12:37,124
OH, WOULD YOU PLEASE
GET OUT OF HERE
288
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,959
BEFORE SOMEBODY
CALLS THE COPS?
289
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:42,730
THE COPS,
THEY CANNOT-A
THWART MY PASSION.
290
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:43,797
I WILL STAND-A RIGHT HERE
291
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,033
TILL YOUR PACK
OF-A WILD DOGS
292
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,968
CHASE-A ME AWAY!
293
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,437
[DOGS BARKING]
294
00:12:49,470 --> 00:12:50,103
DOGS!
295
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,171
RUN!
296
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:53,741
[CONTINUES TO PLAY
THAT'S AMORE]
297
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,677
[BARKING]
298
00:13:05,319 --> 00:13:06,620
USUALLY WHEN A STUDENT
GETS HURT,
299
00:13:06,654 --> 00:13:08,489
WE LET THEM
GO HOME EARLY.
300
00:13:08,522 --> 00:13:10,591
SOMEONE FROM YOUR FAMILY
COULD COME PICK YOU UP.
301
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:13,293
SOMEONE LIKE...SALLY.
302
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,498
WHY DID YOU
SAY HER NAME LIKE THAT?
303
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:18,499
WHAT?
304
00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:20,434
ALL I SAID WAS...
305
00:13:20,468 --> 00:13:22,736
SALLY.
306
00:13:24,505 --> 00:13:26,740
I DON'T REALLY NEED
TO GET PICKED UP.
307
00:13:26,774 --> 00:13:28,409
EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED?
308
00:13:28,442 --> 00:13:29,610
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I DID WRONG,
309
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:32,212
BUT I'M KIND OF NEW
AT BEING KOREAN.
310
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,790
OOPS.
311
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,792
YOU LEFT THIS
IN MY DRIVEWAY.
312
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:45,826
WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?
313
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:49,563
I BACKED OVER IT
FIVE OR SIX TIMES.
314
00:13:49,597 --> 00:13:51,298
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
315
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,635
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
316
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,538
HOW BADLY
YOU EMBARRASSED ME
LAST NIGHT?
317
00:13:57,571 --> 00:13:58,672
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW HARD IT IS
318
00:13:58,706 --> 00:14:01,909
TO FIND
A CONCERTINA IN OHIO?
319
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,011
WHAT THE HELL
WAS GOING ON
IN YOUR HEAD?
320
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:07,815
I SEE. APPARENTLY,
YOU DON'T LIKE ITALIANS
AS MUCH AS YOU CLAIM.
321
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:10,250
SINCE WHEN
DON'T YOU
LIKE ITALIANS?
322
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,285
PLEASE, NINA,
WE'RE DISCUSSING
PREJUDICE HERE,
323
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,822
SOMETHING YOU KNOW
NOTHING ABOUT.
324
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:18,492
I'M BLACK.
325
00:14:18,526 --> 00:14:19,460
OH!
326
00:14:19,493 --> 00:14:20,528
RIGHT.
327
00:14:20,561 --> 00:14:21,595
RIGHT.
328
00:14:21,629 --> 00:14:23,864
"NINA IS...
329
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,566
BLACK."
330
00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:35,709
SALLY,
COME OUT OF THERE.
331
00:14:35,743 --> 00:14:36,444
GO AWAY!
332
00:14:36,477 --> 00:14:38,579
THEN WE'RE COMING IN.
333
00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:39,713
WHAT'S WRONG?
334
00:14:39,747 --> 00:14:40,981
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
335
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,616
OH, SURE.
YOU CAN PUT ON
A TIGHT LITTLE DRESS
336
00:14:42,650 --> 00:14:43,851
AND LOOK SEXY
AND GORGEOUS,
337
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:48,055
BUT ALL MEN CARE ABOUT
IS HOW YOU DANCE.
338
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,256
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
339
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,591
I'M AFRAID!
340
00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:51,391
OF WHAT?
341
00:14:51,425 --> 00:14:52,593
I'M AFRAID
I'LL DO SOMETHING STUPID,
342
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:54,962
AND HE WON'T LIKE ME.
343
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,831
DON'T LEAK.
I HATE IT
WHEN YOU LEAK.
344
00:14:57,865 --> 00:14:59,132
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
345
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,033
I HAVE NO IDEA.
346
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,234
UH, DICK,
347
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:03,571
MAYBE I'M JUST
SHOOTIN' PORK
IN A BARREL HERE,
348
00:15:03,604 --> 00:15:06,840
BUT ISN'T THAT
HOW YOU FEEL
ABOUT DR. ALBRIGHT?
349
00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:07,808
OH, PLEASE.
350
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:10,978
THAT IS SO WRONG.
MR. RANDELL
IS YOUNG AND--
351
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,045
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
352
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,715
[ARGUING]
353
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,249
COME IN.
354
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,586
OW.
355
00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:21,221
SORRY TO INTERRUPT,
BUT, SALLY,
YOUR DATE'S HERE.
356
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,690
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
357
00:15:22,723 --> 00:15:25,559
YOU'RE GOING TO BE GREAT,
AND YOU KNOW WHY?
358
00:15:25,593 --> 00:15:26,159
WHY?
359
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:27,495
BECAUSE YOU'RE ONE OF US.
360
00:15:27,528 --> 00:15:29,329
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT IS YET.
361
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,965
WHEN I FIND OUT,
THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL BE!
362
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:32,566
EVERYBODY READY?
363
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:33,166
READY.
READY.
364
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,434
LET'S GO.
365
00:15:34,468 --> 00:15:37,304
NOW GO OUT THERE
AND BE A GIRL!
366
00:15:45,913 --> 00:15:47,314
YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE.
367
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,217
THANK YOU.
WELL...
COME ON.
368
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,719
THOSE ARE BEAUTIFUL.
369
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:56,924
[SLOW ROMANTIC
MUSIC PLAYS]
370
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,495
WELL...
371
00:16:01,529 --> 00:16:02,796
WELL.
372
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:03,130
SO--
373
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,332
WHAT?
374
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:05,899
WOULD YOU LIKE TO--
375
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:08,101
BEAR YOUR CHILDREN?
376
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,907
NO. I WAS GOING
TO SAY DANCE.
377
00:16:13,941 --> 00:16:16,176
OHH...
378
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,378
THAT WAS REALLY
EMBARRASSING, WASN'T IT?
379
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,047
NO.
380
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,815
NO, NOT AT ALL.
381
00:16:21,849 --> 00:16:22,516
SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO?
382
00:16:22,550 --> 00:16:25,185
BEAR YOUR CHILDREN?
383
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,221
DANCE.
384
00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:30,357
OH. UH...
385
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,793
WELL, SEE,
I DON'T REALLY THINK
THAT WOULD--
386
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,228
O.K.
387
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,278
AHH...
388
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,114
NOW, THIS I CAN DO.
389
00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:59,252
I WAS KIND OF AFRAID
TO COME HERE TONIGHT.
390
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,420
WHY?
391
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:04,658
I JUST WASN'T SURE
I'D HAVE A GOOD TIME.
392
00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:06,927
ARE YOU HAVING
A GOOD TIME?
393
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,462
OH, YEAH.
394
00:17:10,731 --> 00:17:13,601
CAN I PUT MY ARM
AROUND YOU?
395
00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:17,971
YES.
396
00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:22,776
CAN I PUT MY HEAD
ON YOUR SHOULDER?
397
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:26,379
PLEASE.
398
00:17:33,854 --> 00:17:36,690
CAN I PUT MY HAND
IN YOUR POCKET?
399
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:41,094
DO YOU NEED CHANGE?
400
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,964
DESPERATELY.
401
00:17:44,765 --> 00:17:46,099
YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL.
402
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:49,770
MY WHOLE FRONT IS WARM.
403
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:51,504
DO YOU MIND
IF I TURN AROUND?
404
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,340
WELL, I--
405
00:17:54,642 --> 00:17:57,377
MMM...
406
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,847
TOASTY.
407
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,516
I DON'T WANT TO
PUT YOU ON THE SPOT,
408
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:06,319
BUT IF WE DON'T
KISS SOON, MY HEAD'S
GOING TO EXPLODE.
409
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:09,022
YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD
FOR THAT? CALCIUM.
410
00:18:17,798 --> 00:18:21,268
[PLAYING THE BLUES]
411
00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:24,271
* OH, THIS PLANET SUCKS
412
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,539
* LORD, IT MAKES ME
WANNA CRY *
413
00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:31,845
* YEAH, I SAID
THIS PLANET SUCKS *
414
00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:36,616
* LORD, IT MAKES
A POOR BOY WANNA CRY *
415
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:39,219
* AND IF I DIDN'T KNOW
WE WAS LEAVIN' *
416
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:42,555
* LORD, I MIGHT JUST HANG
MY HEAD DOWN AND DIE *
417
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:43,891
TOMMY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
418
00:18:43,924 --> 00:18:47,327
WELL I'M BLACK NOW.
419
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,962
I'M BLACK,
AND I GOT THE BLUES.
420
00:18:48,996 --> 00:18:51,364
YOU CAN'T BE BLACK,
NINA IS BLACK.
421
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:52,265
I GET THE IMPRESSION
FROM HER
422
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,735
THEY HAVE STRICT RULES
ABOUT THESE THINGS.
423
00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:55,903
* NOW I CAN'T EVEN
BE BLACK-- *
424
00:18:55,936 --> 00:18:58,939
TOMMY,
PUT THAT THING DOWN!
425
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,273
* THE MAN START BOSSIN'
426
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,776
* BEST BELIEVE
YOU BETTER JUMP... *
427
00:19:04,812 --> 00:19:05,946
WAAH!
428
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,682
STOP IT! STOP IT!
429
00:19:08,716 --> 00:19:11,118
[TURNS OFF AMPLIFIER]
430
00:19:11,919 --> 00:19:14,988
WHO DIED AND MADE YOU
T-BONE WALKER?
431
00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:16,990
MRS. DUBCEK, AS LONG AS
YOU'RE UP HERE,
432
00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:18,892
WHAT ETHNIC GROUP
DO YOU COME FROM?
433
00:19:18,926 --> 00:19:21,895
WELL,
I'M A LITTLE CZECH,
A LITTLE ROMANIAN.
434
00:19:21,929 --> 00:19:26,566
I'M YOUR BASIC
SLAVIC MUTT, LIKE
MY THIRD HUSBAND.
435
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:27,600
WHAT WERE YOUR FIRST TWO?
436
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,202
WELL FIRST
WAS IRISH
437
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:32,505
AND THE SECOND
WAS ONE OF
YOUR PEOPLE.
438
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,645
OUR PEOPLE?
439
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,280
WELL,
YOU KNOW, JEWISH.
440
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:43,516
JEWISH!
JEWISH!
JEWISH!
441
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:49,757
SO,
WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF?
442
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,959
WITH YOUR NAME IT'S
PRETTY OBVIOUS.
443
00:19:51,992 --> 00:19:52,793
OUR NAME?
444
00:19:52,826 --> 00:19:53,660
SOLOMON.
445
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,694
[GASP]
446
00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:57,664
OH, YOU WONDERFUL,
WONDERFUL WOMAN!
447
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,900
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
448
00:20:00,768 --> 00:20:03,636
I REALLY HAVE TO GO NOW.
449
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,338
I'M STILL A MINORITY.
450
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,440
YOU KNOW,
CHICKS DIG MINORITIES.
451
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,609
WHO KNEW THAT SOLOMON
WAS A JEWISH NAME
452
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,779
WHEN WE TOOK IT
OFF THE SIDE
OF THAT TRUCK?
453
00:20:11,812 --> 00:20:13,213
GO FIGURE.
454
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,916
WE COULD HAVE BEEN
THE WAL-MARTS.
455
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:22,455
[VOICE BREAKING]
WE'RE JEWISH.
456
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:25,092
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
457
00:20:25,125 --> 00:20:27,627
MAZEL TOV!
458
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:33,466
I'M SORRY.
IT JUST POPPED OUT.
459
00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:37,437
ISN'T IT GREAT
TO KNOW WHO WE ARE?
460
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:39,572
I FINALLY FEEL LIKE
I BELONG
461
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:43,610
IN THIS BIG MELTING POT
THEY CALL EARTH.
462
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,413
WHAT A MAGICAL NIGHT.
463
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,648
EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT.
464
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:50,918
I WAS GREAT.
465
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,421
HE REALLY LIKED
MY KISSING.
466
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:58,291
EXCEPT THE SPITTING
AND BITING.
467
00:20:58,325 --> 00:20:59,426
SO YOU REALLY
LIKE HIM, HUH?
468
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,061
WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?
469
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,431
HE'S INTELLIGENT,
KIND, SWEET, GENTLE.
470
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,634
SO...
471
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,702
IS HE JEWISH?
472
00:21:11,905 --> 00:21:14,908
[PLAYING THEME FROM
FIDDLER ON THE ROOF]
31396
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof