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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,473 "THE FORCE-CARRYING PARTICLES 2 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,841 "EXCHANGED BETWEEN MATTER PARTICLES 3 00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:08,810 "ARE SAID TO BE VIRTUAL PARTICLES 4 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,244 "BECAUSE, UNLIKE REAL PARTICLES, 5 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,546 "THEY CANNOT BE DIRECTLY DETECTED 6 00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:14,082 BY A PARTICLE DETECTOR." 7 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:17,518 THE PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET WILL SWALLOW ANYTHING. 8 00:00:17,552 --> 00:00:19,688 HA HA HA! 9 00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:21,990 OOH, FINALLY! 10 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:25,026 MY PICTURES OF THE TODAY SHOW GANG. 11 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:27,862 OH, MY FAVORITE-- 12 00:00:27,896 --> 00:00:30,899 MARTHA STEWART. 13 00:00:30,932 --> 00:00:31,866 IS IT AUTOGRAPHED? 14 00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:34,636 NO, BUT SHE SIGNED IT. 15 00:00:34,669 --> 00:00:37,505 SHE LOOKS GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT. 16 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:47,849 SO HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY? 17 00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:48,950 THE BEST EVER. 18 00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:51,252 I HAD MY VERY FIRST MAKE-OUT SESSION. 19 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,220 GOOD FOR YOU. 20 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,122 WITH DINA, MY LAB PARTNER. 21 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,523 DINA, THE ONE WITH THE... 22 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,660 OH, YEAH. 23 00:00:58,693 --> 00:01:00,829 TELL US EVERYTHING. I WANT DETAILS. 24 00:01:00,862 --> 00:01:02,797 AT FIRST, I WAS CONFLICTED. 25 00:01:02,831 --> 00:01:04,799 WE COME FROM VERY DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS. 26 00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:07,836 I'M AN ALIEN, AND SHE'S A PRESBYTERIAN. 27 00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:09,103 I HAVE A HIGHLY DEVELOPED MIND, 28 00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:13,207 AND SHE'S GOT THAT BIG, POUTY MOUTH. 29 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,776 I TELL YOU. IT WAS A TOUGH DECISION. 30 00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:15,877 WHAT TIPPED THE SCALES? 31 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,812 SHE LET ME. 32 00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:21,482 WELL, WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? 33 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,484 I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME, 34 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:28,723 BUT THEY WERE SO BIG AND ROUND AND BEAUTIFUL 35 00:01:28,757 --> 00:01:31,492 I JUST HAD TO TOUCH THEM. 36 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:32,593 THEN WHAT? 37 00:01:32,627 --> 00:01:34,262 SHE SCREAMED, "OW! MY EYES!" 38 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,899 AND THAT JUST BASICALLY KILLED THE MOOD. 39 00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,167 DAMN! 40 00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:14,035 "IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES. IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES." 41 00:02:15,704 --> 00:02:17,271 I'M NOT READING 387 PAGES 42 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:20,374 IF HE CAN'T MAKE UP HIS MIND IN THE FIRST SENTENCE. 43 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:23,712 GREAT. 44 00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:25,213 WONDERFUL. 45 00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:27,381 THANKS FOR NOTHING. 46 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,417 WHAT HAPPENED? 47 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:30,852 MY DATE FOR A WEDDING TOMORROW NIGHT 48 00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,954 JUST CANCELED AT THE LAST MINUTE. 49 00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:37,291 HIS BROTHER CAME OUT OF THE COMA. 50 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:38,126 A WEDDING? 51 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,660 YEAH. A BIG RECEPTION. 52 00:02:39,694 --> 00:02:40,762 A RITUAL? 53 00:02:40,795 --> 00:02:43,197 VERY TRADITIONAL-- CRYING, DANCING. 54 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,632 AND THE FEMALE DEVOURS THE MALE 55 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:48,002 IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CEREMONY? 56 00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,537 NO. HA HA HA! 57 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:53,742 THAT'S A PROCESS THAT TAKES YEARS AND YEARS. 58 00:02:53,775 --> 00:02:55,043 NINA, ARE YOU MARRIED? 59 00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:56,144 NO. 60 00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:58,312 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRONG? 61 00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:00,849 YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MY MOTHER. 62 00:03:00,882 --> 00:03:05,019 THAT MUST BE VERY CONFUSING FOR YOU. 63 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,156 OH, I WISH I DIDN'T RSVP. 64 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,924 I HATE GOING TO THESE THINGS BY MYSELF. 65 00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:12,326 I'D LOVE TO GO WITH YOU. 66 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,763 I COULDN'T ASK YOU TO DO THAT. 67 00:03:14,796 --> 00:03:15,596 IT'S SUCH SHORT NOTICE. 68 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,364 I DON'T MIND. 69 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,265 IT'S A TWO-HOUR DRIVE. 70 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,867 I'LL PAY FOR GAS. 71 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:20,334 A SUIT'S REQUIRED. 72 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,569 I'M WEARING A SUIT. 73 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,105 A NICE SUIT. 74 00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:25,673 I'LL GET ONE. YOU CAN PICK IT OUT. 75 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,275 WHATEVER IT IS, I'LL DO IT! 76 00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:28,843 YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME SAY THIS. 77 00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:29,944 WHAT? 78 00:03:29,978 --> 00:03:32,313 IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T FIND YOU CHARMING 79 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,247 IN YOUR OWN WAY, 80 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,849 IT'S JUST THAT YOU 81 00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:37,919 TEND TO MAKE A VIVID IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE. 82 00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:40,421 WELL, I AM THE HIGH COMMANDER. 83 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,390 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 84 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,826 I'LL BE ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR. 85 00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:46,094 YOU WON'T BRING YOUR FAMILY? 86 00:03:46,127 --> 00:03:46,895 JUST ME. 87 00:03:48,196 --> 00:03:49,197 FINE. 88 00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,698 YOU CAN COME. 89 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,766 EXCELLENT! 90 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,135 MY FIRST WEDDING! I CAN'T WAIT! 91 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,304 OH, AND BE SURE TO WEAR SOMETHING 92 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:59,841 THAT SHOWS THE CRACK IN YOUR BREASTS. 93 00:04:05,814 --> 00:04:07,448 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SCHOOL NURSE IS TALKING ABOUT. 94 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:08,817 I DON'T SEE ANY BUG. 95 00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:09,884 I KNOW. 96 00:04:09,918 --> 00:04:11,786 SHE SAID I PROBABLY GOT IT FROM DINA. 97 00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:15,489 HOW? UNLESS THE BUGS SWAM IN WITH THE SALIVA. 98 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,191 THIS IS INTERESTING... MY THROAT TICKLES. 99 00:04:17,225 --> 00:04:18,860 MINE, TOO. 100 00:04:18,893 --> 00:04:22,964 YOU KNOW, I TRIED USING A STICK TO SCRATCH IT, 101 00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:28,469 BUT THAT JUST BROUGHT UP A WHOLE NEW SET OF PROBLEMS. 102 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,004 THIS SHIRT, THIS TIE, THESE SOCKS, 103 00:04:30,038 --> 00:04:32,040 OR THIS SHIRT, THIS TIE, THESE SOCKS? 104 00:04:32,073 --> 00:04:33,274 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 105 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,909 MARY'S COUNTING ON ME. 106 00:04:34,943 --> 00:04:36,744 I WANT TO LOOK MY BEST FOR THE WEDDING. 107 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,312 WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND THAT BLONDE? 108 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,581 NOTHING. THIS IS STRICTLY RESEARCH, 109 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,150 BUT TO DESCRIBE HER AS "BLONDE" 110 00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:43,885 IS INACCURATE. 111 00:04:43,918 --> 00:04:47,755 HER HAIR IS MORE LIKE HONEY WITH FLAXEN HIGHLIGHTS 112 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,690 AND JUST THE WHISPER OF GOLD 113 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:54,228 DANCING PLAYFULLY ABOUT THE HALO THAT SURROUNDS HER. 114 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,099 SO SHE'S NOT "BLONDE." 115 00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,935 SORRY. I HAVEN'T SEEN HER THROUGH YOUR LOVE GOGGLES. 116 00:05:00,969 --> 00:05:02,336 I DON'T LOVE HER. 117 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,072 THIS IS A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY 118 00:05:04,105 --> 00:05:05,506 TO OBSERVE A WEDDING FIRSTHAND. 119 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:06,774 THERE'S A LOT WE DON'T UNDERSTAND. 120 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,808 LIKE WHAT? 121 00:05:07,842 --> 00:05:09,911 IT'S REALLY A VERY FASCINATING RITUAL. 122 00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:13,281 THE CEREMONY BEGINS WITH THE BRIDE BEING GIVEN AWAY. 123 00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,115 EXCUSE ME. 124 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,583 GIVEN AWAY, LIKE AN OBJECT? 125 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:20,254 AS IN, "FREE GIRL WITH EVERY LARGE FRIES"? 126 00:05:20,288 --> 00:05:22,790 WAIT. THERE'S FREE GIRLS? CAN I GO? 127 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,458 FRIES? CAN I GO? 128 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,060 NO. I'M AFRAID NOT. 129 00:05:26,094 --> 00:05:28,296 DR. ALBRIGHT HAS ALREADY RSVP'd. 130 00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:32,600 YOU SAID YOU'D STOP SPELLING IN FRONT OF ME. 131 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,602 AH-CHOO! 132 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:37,939 WOW. 133 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,208 WHAT WAS THAT? 134 00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:43,945 I DON'T KNOW BUT I WANT ANOTHER ONE. 135 00:05:43,978 --> 00:05:45,779 AH-CHOO! 136 00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:50,318 AHH! 137 00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:56,124 AH-CHOO! 138 00:05:56,958 --> 00:05:59,393 WHOO. 139 00:06:00,962 --> 00:06:03,331 WAS IT AS GOOD FOR YOU AS IT WAS FOR ME? 140 00:06:09,971 --> 00:06:12,440 GOOD MORNING, DR. SOLOMON. 141 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:15,509 NINA, I SEEM TO BE HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE SWALLOWING THIS MORNING. 142 00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:19,180 IS THERE AN ALTERNATE STOMACH ACCESS? 143 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:19,981 ARE YOU SICK? 144 00:06:20,014 --> 00:06:22,883 YES, AND THE NOVELTY IS WEARING OFF. 145 00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:26,054 YOU'RE SICK, AND YOU'RE BREATHING MY AIR. 146 00:06:26,087 --> 00:06:28,822 WHICH AIR IS YOURS? 147 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,324 I'LL GET YOU SOME TEA. 148 00:06:30,358 --> 00:06:32,893 WHAT'S THIS? 149 00:06:45,273 --> 00:06:47,175 THIS IS BRILLIANT! 150 00:06:47,208 --> 00:06:48,909 YOU'RE SICK. YOU SHOULD BE HOME IN BED. 151 00:06:48,943 --> 00:06:51,145 IT'S MY FIRST DATE WITH DR. ALBRIGHT. 152 00:06:51,179 --> 00:06:53,247 DR. SOLOMON, I'M SURE SHE'LL UNDERSTAND. 153 00:06:53,281 --> 00:06:54,615 OH, NINA, PLEASE... 154 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,984 IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. 155 00:06:56,017 --> 00:07:01,555 PROMISE ME YOU WON'T LET DR. ALBRIGHT KNOW THAT I'M SICK. OH! 156 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,957 SHE WON'T HEAR IT FROM ME. 157 00:07:02,991 --> 00:07:04,692 OH. 158 00:07:05,026 --> 00:07:05,994 GOOD MORNING. 159 00:07:06,027 --> 00:07:07,428 GOOD MORNING, DR. ALBRIGHT! 160 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:09,263 I'M FINE, THANKS. 161 00:07:09,297 --> 00:07:12,433 GOOD. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO TONIGHT, AREN'T YOU? 162 00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:14,202 ABSOLUTELY. 163 00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:15,169 IT'LL BE FUN. 164 00:07:15,203 --> 00:07:17,005 WHY DON'T YOU PICK ME UP AROUND 7:00-ISH? 165 00:07:17,038 --> 00:07:18,906 7:00-ISH ON THE DOT. 166 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,075 YOU BETTER MAKE IT 6:30. 167 00:07:21,109 --> 00:07:23,644 WE MIGHT HAVE TROUBLE PARK-- 168 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:26,981 YOU MIGHT, BUT I'M VERY GOOD AT IT. 169 00:07:27,015 --> 00:07:29,283 OOH, I'M LATE FOR CLASS. 170 00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,219 SEE YOU TONIGHT. 171 00:07:31,252 --> 00:07:33,454 CAN'T WAIT. 172 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,689 OH! 173 00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:42,496 OH, MY HEAD IS THROBBING. 174 00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:43,597 MINE'S WORSE. 175 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:46,100 AND MY BACK ME, TOO. IS ACHING. 176 00:07:46,134 --> 00:07:47,968 MINE'S KILLING ME. 177 00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:52,906 MY BREASTS FEEL LIKE TWO HOT STEAMING BOWLS OF CHILI. 178 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,278 SHE WINS. 179 00:07:58,179 --> 00:07:59,313 THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. 180 00:07:59,347 --> 00:08:01,615 YOU BROUGHT A FOREIGN GERM INTO THIS HOUSE. 181 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:06,087 HEY, I HAVE AS MUCH A RIGHT TO BE HERE AS ANYBODY ELSE. 182 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,191 SEE YOU LATER. 183 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,804 I'M NOT WEARING PANTS. 184 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:29,543 I WAS WONDERING WHY THE LINT BRUSH WASN'T WORKING. 185 00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:32,113 DICK, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY TOO SICK TO GO. 186 00:08:32,146 --> 00:08:33,314 WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY HOME 187 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,549 AND DRIP FLUIDS WITH US? 188 00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,918 NONSENSE. I FEEL PERFECTLY FINE. 189 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,321 SALLY'S RIGHT. YOU SHOULD STAY HOME. 190 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:44,292 NO. NOW HELP ME GET MY PANTS ON, 191 00:08:44,325 --> 00:08:46,094 AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. 192 00:08:46,127 --> 00:08:49,597 I'VE NEVER BEEN DEFEATED BY A SINGLE-CELLED ORGANISM. 193 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:53,000 THEY ARE STEALTHY, BUT THEY ARE STUPID. 194 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,068 I AM THE HIGH COMMANDER, 195 00:08:54,102 --> 00:08:56,404 AND I REFUSE TO LET THIS BEAT ME. 196 00:08:56,437 --> 00:08:58,339 IF YOU INSIST ON BEING STUBBORN, 197 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,374 PLEASE TAKE SOME OF THIS COUGH SYRUP. 198 00:09:00,408 --> 00:09:01,809 I DON'T NEED ANY. 199 00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:02,776 YOU HAVE TO. 200 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,745 THE DRUGSTORE LADY SAID IF THIS DOESN'T WORK, 201 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:08,015 WE HAVE TO PUT A VAPORIZER IN YOUR ROOM. 202 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,419 NO. 203 00:09:11,452 --> 00:09:13,053 AAH! 204 00:09:13,087 --> 00:09:14,021 TASTES BAD? 205 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:18,759 NO. I JUST DIDN'T CLEAR THE ZIPPER. 206 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,268 WE ARE GATHERED TOGETHER HERE IN THE SIGHT OF GOD 207 00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:29,737 AND THE FACE OF THIS COMPANY 208 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,539 TO JOIN TOGETHER THIS MAN AND THIS WOMAN 209 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,707 IN HOLY MATRIMONY... 210 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:36,677 INSTITUTED OF GOD, SIGNIFYING... 211 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:46,354 NOW, WHICH OF THOSE GUYS IS GOD? 212 00:09:46,387 --> 00:09:47,455 BE QUIET. 213 00:09:47,488 --> 00:09:49,490 O.K., BUT BE SURE TO INTRODUCE ME LATER 214 00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:51,159 BECAUSE I WANT SOME ANSWERS. 215 00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:51,792 SHH! 216 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:55,396 SHH! 217 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:56,797 HEH HEH HEH. 218 00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:03,404 NOW, HOW WERE THOSE TWO ABLE TO FIND EACH OTHER? 219 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,439 HE'S RICH. SHE WANTED MONEY 220 00:10:05,473 --> 00:10:07,808 SO SHE COULD SIT ON HER ASS. 221 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,076 I GIVE IT A YEAR. 222 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:13,281 OH, THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL! 223 00:10:13,314 --> 00:10:15,849 LOOK AT THEM. THEY BELONG TOGETHER. 224 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,218 DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE ANY IDEA 225 00:10:17,251 --> 00:10:19,353 HOW UGLY THEIR CHILDREN WILL BE? 226 00:10:19,387 --> 00:10:20,988 HA HA HA! 227 00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:21,789 SHH! 228 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:22,890 OH, YOU SHUSH. 229 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:23,624 SHH! 230 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,327 SHH! 231 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,962 HEH HEH HEH! 232 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:31,999 OH, THIS IS SO MOVING-- 233 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,868 THE LOVE, THE CLOSENESS. 234 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:37,037 HOLD ME. 235 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:38,972 OH, GET OFF! 236 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,708 SHH! SHH! SHH! 237 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,311 I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE! 238 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:50,984 WHOO! 239 00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,686 OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 240 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,888 I GOT ANOTHER HOLE HERE. 241 00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:00,428 WHOO! 242 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,631 I MADE CHICKEN SOUP. 243 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:06,133 IT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER. 244 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,774 AHH! 245 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,409 SALLY, YOU'RE AMAZING. 246 00:11:15,443 --> 00:11:18,512 YOU'RE SO SICK, AND YOU KEEP TAKING CARE OF US. 247 00:11:18,546 --> 00:11:19,480 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 248 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,615 ALL I WANT TO DO IS CURL UP INTO A BALL, 249 00:11:21,649 --> 00:11:24,985 YET, SOMEHOW, I'M COMPELLED TO NURTURE YOU. 250 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,321 GOD, WHAT A CRUEL DISEASE! 251 00:11:27,355 --> 00:11:29,990 WHY DID WE CHOOSE BODIES THAT COULD DECAY SO EASILY? 252 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,125 I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD COME HERE AS DUCKS, 253 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:35,696 BUT NOBODY LISTENS TO ME. 254 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:36,997 HOW COULD DINA DO THIS TO ME 255 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,266 AFTER I WAS NICE ENOUGH 256 00:11:38,299 --> 00:11:42,536 TO BROADCAST THAT SHE WAS A GOOD FRENCHER? 257 00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,204 AFTER ALL THE BATTLES I'VE FOUGHT IN 258 00:11:44,238 --> 00:11:45,873 AND ALL THE PLACES I'VE BEEN, 259 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,676 I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING TO DIE 260 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,245 ON A FLEA-INFESTED LITTLE PLANET 261 00:11:51,279 --> 00:11:55,616 IN THE BOONDOCKS OF THE GALAXY... 262 00:11:55,649 --> 00:11:59,320 IN THIS OUTFIT! 263 00:11:59,353 --> 00:12:01,422 NOW I'LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE, 264 00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:05,025 NEVER GET USED, CHEATED ON, 265 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:08,662 TOSSED ASIDE LIKE AN OLD SHOE. 266 00:12:08,696 --> 00:12:11,164 I'M GLAD I'M DYING. 267 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,334 I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS, 268 00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:17,004 BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU'D MAKE A TOTALLY KICK-ASS HIGH COMMANDER. 269 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,440 THANKS. 270 00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:22,476 I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED YOUR ELOQUENCE. 271 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:26,213 WHAT ABOUT ME? 272 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:30,217 NO ONE CAN TAKE A BLOW TO THE HEAD LIKE YOU, HARRY. 273 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,953 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS TO ME. 274 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,589 I LOVE YOU GUYS. 275 00:12:35,623 --> 00:12:37,090 OH, HO HO HO. 276 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:45,065 I REALLY WISH YOU HADN'T WRESTLED THE MAID OF HONOR FOR THAT. 277 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,768 MEN AND WOMEN ARE COMPLETELY EQUAL 278 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,037 UNTIL SOMETHING PRETTY IS BEING GIVEN AWAY. 279 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,339 KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. 280 00:12:51,372 --> 00:12:53,474 WHY DID THAT GIRL THROW AWAY FLOWERS? 281 00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:55,776 WHAT WAS HER PROBLEM? 282 00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,277 IT'S TIME TO LEAVE. 283 00:12:57,311 --> 00:12:58,612 OH, WAIT! 284 00:12:58,646 --> 00:13:00,914 I HAVEN'T GIVEN YOU YOUR GIFT YET. 285 00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:03,150 IT'S A TOASTER. 286 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:03,951 WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? 287 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,753 IN THE ROOM FULL OF PRIZES. 288 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,722 [GLASS CLANKING] 289 00:13:08,756 --> 00:13:11,124 I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST TO THE COUPLE. 290 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,660 HERE HERE! HERE HERE! 291 00:13:12,693 --> 00:13:15,929 TO A LIFETIME OF HAPPINESS TOGETHER. 292 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,432 WE GIVE IT A YEAR! 293 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,302 MARY? 294 00:13:22,336 --> 00:13:25,439 MARY, WHO IS THIS INTERESTING CHARACTER YOU'RE WITH? 295 00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,808 DR. RICHARD SOLOMON FROM THE UNIVERSITY. 296 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:32,480 I DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD TOP THE PERSONAL TRAINER/PLAYWRIGHT, 297 00:13:32,513 --> 00:13:34,515 BUT YOU ALWAYS COME THROUGH. 298 00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:35,916 I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW DR. SOLOMON 299 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,686 IS A HIGHLY RESPECTED SCHOLAR AND EDUCATOR. 300 00:13:38,719 --> 00:13:40,488 HE MAY BE A BIT ECCENTRIC, 301 00:13:40,521 --> 00:13:43,056 BUT HE IS A WONDERFULLY EXCITING MAN. 302 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,659 I'M HAVING A MUCH BETTER TIME THAN YOU. 303 00:13:50,398 --> 00:13:52,265 I'M PROPOSING A TOAST. 304 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,868 I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHEN I SAY 305 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:58,639 THAT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, RADIANT WOMAN IN THE ROOM 306 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,809 IS NOT THE BRIDE, BUT MARY ALBRIGHT! 307 00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:04,211 YES! YES! 308 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,114 HI. 309 00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:10,584 I HAVE A SPECIAL DISH 310 00:14:10,618 --> 00:14:12,386 AND A SPECIAL HELPER TODAY... 311 00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:13,987 HARRY SOLOMON. 312 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,789 HARRY IS AN ALIEN. 313 00:14:15,823 --> 00:14:18,191 I LO ALIENS. 314 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:21,429 AND I LOVE YOUR TRADITIONAL OYSTER STUFFING... 315 00:14:21,462 --> 00:14:22,696 IN THEORY. 316 00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:23,797 THANK YOU. 317 00:14:23,831 --> 00:14:26,033 YOU'RE NOT FEELING VERY WELL, ARE YOU, HARRY? 318 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:29,570 OH, MARTHA, I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO DIE. 319 00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:32,440 WELL, YOU NEED A REASON TO LIVE. 320 00:14:32,473 --> 00:14:33,607 I THINK I HAVE ONE-- 321 00:14:33,641 --> 00:14:38,311 FULL, CRISP, GRANNY SMITH APPLE COBBLER. 322 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,247 OHH, MMM! 323 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,850 A LATTICE CRUST. 324 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:49,657 NOW, OPEN WIDE... 325 00:14:49,690 --> 00:14:51,725 THWUP! 326 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:53,994 MMM! 327 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,664 SEE? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE, 328 00:14:56,697 --> 00:15:00,300 AND THAT'S A GOOD THING. 329 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,969 OPEN. 330 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,804 MMM-MMM! 331 00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:05,138 MMM! 332 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,445 [KNOCKING] 333 00:15:11,479 --> 00:15:13,413 COME IN! 334 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:20,521 MARTHA STEWART SAYS I'M NOT GOING TO DIE. 335 00:15:20,554 --> 00:15:22,289 IS TOMMY HOME? 336 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,191 OH! HEY DINA! 337 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:24,992 TOMMY. 338 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:25,859 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 339 00:15:25,893 --> 00:15:27,561 I CAME TO SEE HOW YOU'RE FEELING. 340 00:15:27,595 --> 00:15:29,497 I'M FEELING A LOT BETTER. THANKS. 341 00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,465 I'M SORRY I GAVE YOU THE FLU. 342 00:15:31,499 --> 00:15:32,533 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT 343 00:15:32,566 --> 00:15:34,201 'CAUSE ANYTIME YOU WANT TO GIVE ME ANYTHING, 344 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,937 JUST LET ME KNOW. 345 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,906 IF I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN, 346 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,108 I'D DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. 347 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,845 IS THERE A CHANCE WE COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN? 348 00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:46,847 WE COULD GO TO MY HOUSE. 349 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,382 GREAT. YEAH. YEAH! 350 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,651 WHO'S THAT? 351 00:15:50,684 --> 00:15:51,919 OH, THIS IS DINA. 352 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,654 SHE'S THE ONE THAT GOT US SICK. 353 00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:56,223 AAH! DESTROY THE INCUBATOR! 354 00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:02,963 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 355 00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,437 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 356 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,940 I'M FINE. I COULD STAY HERE ALL NIGHT. 357 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,642 NOT WITH ME. I'M LEAVING. 358 00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:15,743 VERY WELL. 359 00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:16,744 BAND PLAYS BRAZIL] 360 00:16:16,777 --> 00:16:19,012 WAIT. LISTEN. 361 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:21,214 IT'S 4/4 TIME WITH A HALF-BEAT HESITATION. 362 00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:22,249 WE HAVE TO DANCE. 363 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,551 NO, WE DON'T. 364 00:16:23,584 --> 00:16:25,919 YO QUIERO BAILAR CONTIGO. 365 00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:32,025 PORQUé TUS OJOS SON EL SOL DE Mí CORAZóN. 366 00:16:33,661 --> 00:16:35,362 WHAT? 367 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:39,232 ALLOW ME TO TRANSLATE USING THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE-- 368 00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:40,868 A DANCE! 369 00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:06,093 HYAH! 370 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,060 HYAH! 371 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:07,928 HYAH! 372 00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:10,197 AH! YA YA YA YA! 373 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,965 OH, GOD... 374 00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:13,834 WE'RE GOOD. 375 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,274 OH, MY GOD! 376 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,076 MY GOD, YOU'RE BURNING UP. 377 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,745 RIGHT. I'M BURNING UP FOR YOU, BABY. 378 00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:26,780 YOU'RE GOING HOME TO BED. 379 00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:29,149 ALL RIGHT! 380 00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:31,484 WE'RE HAVING SEX TONIGHT! 381 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,386 AH! 382 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:36,790 AHH! 383 00:17:36,824 --> 00:17:40,227 OH, WHAT A LOVELY PLACE YOU HAVE. 384 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,229 LIE DOWN. 385 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:45,132 OH, NOT THERE. 386 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,735 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE SICK? 387 00:17:47,768 --> 00:17:49,670 DR. ALBRIGHT, I'M... 388 00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:51,538 I'M SICK. 389 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,575 DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS WHAT YOU DID WAS? 390 00:17:55,609 --> 00:17:58,045 NO, BECAUSE I THINK I'M DYING. 391 00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:58,846 OH, SHUSH. 392 00:17:58,879 --> 00:18:00,547 NO. LET ME TALK. 393 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,349 I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 394 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,351 I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE LEFT, 395 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,020 SO LISTEN CLOSELY. 396 00:18:07,054 --> 00:18:08,689 IF YOU WAKE UP TOMORROW 397 00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:14,294 AND FIND A QUIVERING PURPLE MASS WEARING MY WATCH, 398 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,764 DON'T TOUCH IT. 399 00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:19,967 I WON'T. 400 00:18:24,872 --> 00:18:27,207 DID YOU DRINK THIS ENTIRE BOTTLE? 401 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,142 I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS. 402 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,210 YOU HAVE TO LIE DOWN. 403 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:33,847 I COME FROM A DIFFERENT WORLD. 404 00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:35,816 AND THIS IS NEWS? 405 00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:37,250 NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 406 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,386 I'M AN ALIEN FROM ANOTHER PLANET. 407 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,588 I'M TELLING YOU THIS BECAUSE.. 408 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,256 OHH! 409 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,225 I LOVE YOU. 410 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,167 WHATEVER YOU SAY. 411 00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,239 SO MUCH TROUBLE... 412 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,341 BUT YOU ARE SWEET. 413 00:19:01,775 --> 00:19:04,311 I KNOW. 414 00:19:08,682 --> 00:19:10,017 GOOD MORNING, NINA! 415 00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:12,285 YOU'LL BE GLAD TO KNOW I'M FEELING MUCH BETTER! 416 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,955 [STUFFILY] I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. 417 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,123 I'M GOING HOME. 418 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:16,824 WHY? 419 00:19:16,857 --> 00:19:18,525 BECAUSE I'M SICK, THAT'S WHY. 420 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,560 REALLY? WHAT A COINCIDENCE. 421 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,630 YOU'RE GETTING SICK JUST AS I'M GETTING BETTER! 422 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,567 [COUGHING] 423 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,904 HAVE A NICE DAY. 424 00:19:33,941 --> 00:19:36,509 DR. SOLOMON, I SEE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER. 425 00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,811 YES. MUCH. 426 00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,780 THANKS FOR COMING TO THE WEDDING. 427 00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:41,114 I KNOW YOU WERE SICK. 428 00:19:41,148 --> 00:19:42,349 IT MEANT A LOT. 429 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,550 IT WAS MY PLEASURE. 430 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,052 HA HA HA. 431 00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:48,856 YOU SEEM TO HAVE MORE TEETH THAN USUAL. 432 00:19:48,889 --> 00:19:51,124 DON'T YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING YOU SAID? 433 00:19:51,158 --> 00:19:52,826 DID I SAY ANYTHING I SHOULDN'T HAVE? 434 00:19:52,860 --> 00:19:55,495 ACTUALLY, YOU SAID A LOT OF THINGS. 435 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,330 COULD YOU BE A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC? 436 00:19:57,364 --> 00:20:01,334 LET'S JUST SAY YOU WERE VERY REVEALING. 437 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:02,669 I WAS DELIRIOUS. 438 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,405 I WAS RAMBLING. 439 00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:06,840 WHAT DID I SAY? 440 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,609 YOU SAID... 441 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,946 "I LOVE YOU." 442 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,217 ISN'T THAT SILLY? 443 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,287 HA HA HA! 444 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,890 HA HA HA! 445 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,592 HA HA HA! HA HA HA! 446 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,798 HA HA HA! HA HA HA! 447 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,236 EH-HEH. 448 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:38,972 THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE. 449 00:20:39,006 --> 00:20:40,540 I WASN'T SURE WE WERE GOING TO MAKE IT. 450 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,641 WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE, 451 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:45,612 I TOLD DR. ALBRIGHT THAT I LOVED HER. WHY? 452 00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:46,679 WHEN YOU FACE DEATH, 453 00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:49,749 YOU REASSESS YOUR PRIORITIES. 454 00:20:49,783 --> 00:20:54,287 I'VE DECIDED NOT TO GET THOSE BREAST IMPLANTS. 455 00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:56,389 YOU HAVE TO ADMIRE THESE HUMANS. 456 00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:57,891 THEIR LIVES ARE SO FRAGILE, 457 00:20:57,925 --> 00:20:59,159 YET THEY'RE SO WILLING 458 00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:01,995 TO COMMIT THEIR HEARTS TO ONE ANOTHER FOR A LIFETIME. 459 00:21:02,029 --> 00:21:02,896 OR AN AFTERNOON 460 00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:05,298 WITH SOME PETRI DISH IN A MINISKIRT. 461 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,067 HEY, AT LEAST I'M GETTING SOME HERE, 462 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,169 ALL RIGHT? 463 00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,705 WELL SAID. 30431

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