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1
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:03,880
Meerut.
2
00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:06,790
Tell me, Nand from Meerut.
3
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,540
What's so special about that place?
4
00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:13,210
Dude, I myself am special.
5
00:00:14,350 --> 00:00:15,180
Really?
6
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,830
Have you done anything special
in Meerut?
7
00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:20,580
No, I haven't.
8
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,210
But something special
happened to me over there.
9
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,000
Care to know
what happened in Meerut?
10
00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:30,140
This story is about
Meerut and me.
11
00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:33,890
So, let me begin the story
from my house.
12
00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:39,670
Mother of Nand...
13
00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:42,220
...your superstition has no limits.
14
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:44,770
Doing this every morning...
15
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,800
...has not prevented any
untoward events from happening.
16
00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:50,420
We live in a dangerous city.
17
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:54,920
You sell lingerie for a living.
18
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:58,200
What if a school girl
or a college-going bombshell...
19
00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:00,260
...or any other lady
bewitch you with her beauty?
20
00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:02,840
We've been married
for 17 years now.
21
00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:06,510
If I could have been bewitched,
I would have by now.
22
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,720
You've no idea
what sort of a city this is.
23
00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:11,280
It's Meerut.
24
00:01:12,690 --> 00:01:14,280
Meerut.
25
00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:16,900
Like every other small city...
26
00:01:17,190 --> 00:01:20,000
...Meerut too, is very laid-back.
27
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,670
Guruji, greetings.
28
00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:30,970
How was your journey?
29
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,920
Son, may you live long.
30
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,310
Guruji, did you find a solution?
31
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,490
Did I find a solution?
32
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:39,050
Of course I did!
33
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:41,390
I picked a black crow
from a burial ground...
34
00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:43,890
...and rubbed the hair from
a black dog's tail on its beak...
35
00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:45,750
...to prepare this powder.
36
00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:47,140
Take it.
37
00:01:48,090 --> 00:01:50,860
Mix this in a cold drink and offer
it to the woman of your choice.
38
00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:53,640
Then within three days...
39
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,220
...that woman will...
40
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:58,640
...completely surrender herself
to you.
41
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,710
Guruji, I feel blessed!
42
00:02:02,340 --> 00:02:04,220
But the men from Meerut...
43
00:02:04,670 --> 00:02:06,420
...get a kick
out of only one thing.
44
00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:14,950
Scoundrels!
45
00:02:15,230 --> 00:02:18,090
The Delhi intercity train
isn't a girl from your class...
46
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:19,720
That you can ride on
whenever you want
47
00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:20,710
Hold on, sir.
48
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,140
This is my ear,
not your wife's skirt...
49
00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,030
...that you can tug it
whenever you want
50
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:24,810
You...
51
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,000
Their minds and eyes can be
distracted by only one thing.
52
00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:35,250
And only one thing
can blow their minds away.
53
00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,790
Now that thing
had arrived in Meerut.
54
00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:47,700
the women of Meerut are cursed...
55
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,240
...that their house will be ruined
by another woman.
56
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:11,390
- You shouldn't have done that.
- Shut up.
57
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,630
When Vipul said
"I love you" to you...
58
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,440
- ...you ran off!
- Yes, but Nand is a good boy.
59
00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:20,180
Tell me, why would someone
wear a designer panty...
60
00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:21,710
...if they didn't intend
to show it?
61
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,770
I swear, my pen was on the floor.
62
00:04:25,060 --> 00:04:27,140
When I went under the table
to pick it up...
63
00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:30,560
...I spotted it.
64
00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,150
- And then?
- Then what?
65
00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:35,850
After taking a good look at Mickey,
I got up...
66
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,310
...only to find her staring at me.
67
00:04:38,890 --> 00:04:41,060
I was too shy to look at her.
68
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,220
We don't get to see that every day!
69
00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:49,550
But Priyanka saw the whole thing...
70
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,450
...and she ran to the Principal
to complain.
71
00:04:52,530 --> 00:04:55,990
I told the Principal
that Nand has crossed the line.
72
00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:57,930
Priyanka, you're so mean.
73
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,060
He took admission in our school
for your sake.
74
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:01,100
Nonsense!
75
00:05:01,370 --> 00:05:03,360
He was in an all-boys school
before.
76
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,980
Since he was desperate for girls,
he joined ours.
77
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,100
I'm sure he must have hit on
a thousand girls before me.
78
00:05:09,950 --> 00:05:12,850
You don't have
a girlfriend, Nand
79
00:05:14,260 --> 00:05:15,370
I don't believe that.
80
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,340
Your dad owns a lingerie shop.
81
00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:22,480
A lot of beautiful, young girls
must be visiting it every day.
82
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,060
Yes, but that doesn't mean...
83
00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,850
...I get to take
their measurements.
84
00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:29,480
Forget it. Priyanka
is like your sister, right?
85
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,110
Yes, she was.
86
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,270
To get close
to her friend, Rupali...
87
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,060
...I let her tie rakhi on my wrist,
three years in a row.
88
00:05:38,330 --> 00:05:40,230
And also gifted her
a "Dear Sister" card.
89
00:05:40,370 --> 00:05:41,450
That too bought from Archies.
90
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,950
But Rupali fell for
a 12th grade student...
91
00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:45,640
...and I got stuck
as Priyanka's brother
92
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,590
Stop laughing!
93
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:52,260
Look at him, must be bragging
about the skirt episode.
94
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,650
What's so funny?
95
00:05:56,950 --> 00:05:59,530
All the love stories
at high school...
96
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:02,110
...begins by tying a rakhi,
followed by a fight, and then...
97
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,360
I know he's a pervert.
98
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,030
Vipul, mark my words.
99
00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:11,050
If I fail to have sex
before I complete my 12th grade...
100
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,170
...I'll stay a virgin forever.
101
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,710
If you fail to do it...
102
00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:17,200
...get "Loser" tattooed
on your forehead
103
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,070
When you can't help me get laid...
104
00:06:19,470 --> 00:06:21,250
...at least stop f*****g with me.
Get lost!
105
00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:23,410
Let's go from here.
106
00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:24,610
'Okay.'
107
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:35,070
Hey, why did you do that for?
108
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:42,190
Nand, is it true?
109
00:06:42,450 --> 00:06:46,030
Of course not, I didn't peep
into her skirt deliberately.
110
00:06:46,180 --> 00:06:47,360
I'm not talking about that.
111
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:49,370
I'm talking about the fact
that you want to do it.
112
00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:50,780
Do you really want to get laid?
113
00:06:51,090 --> 00:06:52,930
Yes, I'm quite serious about it...
114
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,090
...but I've run out of ideas
and hope.
115
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,830
- What if I help you out?
- Ask me anything you want.
116
00:06:59,110 --> 00:07:00,450
- One thousand rupees.
- What!
117
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,660
Don't take it so seriously.
118
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,700
I can do it for 100 rupees
in Delhi.
119
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,100
What if you contract a disease
or something?
120
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,380
I'll pay you Rs. 300.
Arrange for it.
121
00:07:15,190 --> 00:07:16,690
You will be in heaven!
122
00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:22,930
If you turn right
after the old market...
123
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,960
...you'll find a house.
124
00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:28,200
A woman lives there.
125
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,700
She's extremely gorgeous.
126
00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:36,270
But I've heard
that she doesn't speak much.
127
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,130
'Hello. Yes.'
128
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,840
Don't you know, I can't answer
my phone when I'm working?
129
00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:32,810
She is he!
130
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,040
- I told you not to call me...
- 'B*******d!'
131
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:41,590
Tell me what is it quickly.
132
00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:46,620
H*******e... Ram Khilawan!
133
00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:50,810
Why didn't you tell me that the path
to heaven goes through the legs of hell?
134
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,520
I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
135
00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:55,410
I'll teach you a lesson.
136
00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:03,670
Here.
137
00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:05,170
Give it here.
138
00:09:06,490 --> 00:09:07,410
Take it.
139
00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:12,580
Uh-oh, I'm folding my cards.
140
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,920
Well, as you all know,
we are done with Navratri.
141
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,220
Now let's plan for Karva Chauth
for our husbands.
142
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,900
There is no scope
for Karva Chauth in Meerut.
143
00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:25,240
Even Mandodari performed this ritual
for her husband King Ravan...
144
00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:27,430
...but he went after Sita.
145
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,070
It was Mandodari's mistake!
146
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,180
She failed to satisfy King Ravan.
147
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:35,050
Really, Pushpa?
148
00:09:35,180 --> 00:09:36,510
When the husband is a monster...
149
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,470
...how can the wife satisfy him?
150
00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:42,940
Four or five years
into the marriage...
151
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,600
...we wives cease to be attractive.
152
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,060
That's why husbands go hunting...
153
00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:50,750
...for a new partner.
154
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,170
What say, Sushma?
155
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:55,250
You seem lost in thoughts.
156
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,850
Your husband is not
sleeping with you or what?
157
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,250
- Sushma!
- Coming.
158
00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:14,380
My limbs are cramped
because of the daily chores!
159
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,250
Come on, massage my body.
160
00:10:27,630 --> 00:10:28,690
What about you, Sneh?
161
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:33,250
Does your husband
'massage' you in the morning?
162
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:42,060
- Dear, get the cold drinks.
- 'I'm on my way.'
163
00:10:42,670 --> 00:10:45,250
I have made a cold drink for her.
164
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,760
A special drink!
165
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,210
Keep an eye on your husband.
166
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,620
Now you eat only bland, tasteless food
while fasting for your husbands.
167
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:03,800
Next year, you won't even
get to eat that.
168
00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:05,370
What do you advise us to do?
169
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,790
Put some make-up on your face.
170
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,080
Leave one of your
blouse buttons open.
171
00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:15,100
You won't die of pneumonia
172
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:19,970
Go to Pinky Parlour
and get a facial, you fools.
173
00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:23,290
If you can't take good care
of yourselves...
174
00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:24,990
...some other woman
will take your husband...
175
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,470
- Are you crazy?
- Listen! Calm down!
176
00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:31,670
Calm down, students.
177
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,540
Ma'am, you can come in now.
178
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:44,610
As the saying goes...
179
00:11:46,130 --> 00:11:48,590
"The clouds won't shower down..."
180
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:51,180
"...until the land goes bone dry."
181
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,780
My adolescence
was in a similar condition.
182
00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:00,070
But it showered
before the famine could hit me.
183
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:05,330
She's Mrs. Shanu Bansal.
184
00:12:06,610 --> 00:12:10,380
I know how good is your English.
185
00:12:11,050 --> 00:12:13,260
It's quite poor.
186
00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:15,160
Therefore, from now on...
187
00:12:15,710 --> 00:12:17,650
...she will teach you
English grammar.
188
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,240
Greet her!
189
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,420
Hello, ma'am.
190
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,590
Ma'am, they are all yours.
191
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:38,030
Hello, 11-C.
192
00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:40,630
Now you know my name.
193
00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:44,100
But let me introduce myself,
properly.
194
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,380
'I'm not like your other teachers.'
195
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,000
One instance of stupidity...
196
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,210
...and you'll fail in this class.
197
00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:53,770
And the most important thing...
198
00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:57,660
As long as we are in school,
we'll talk to each other only in...
199
00:12:58,660 --> 00:12:59,660
...English.
200
00:13:00,670 --> 00:13:01,630
Understood?
201
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:04,740
Are you deaf?
202
00:13:05,530 --> 00:13:06,570
Is that clear?
203
00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:08,700
- Yes, ma'am.
- Good.
204
00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:10,950
'Chapter one.'
205
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:15,720
Though it's not mandatory...
206
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,430
...for a breeze
to accompany showers...
207
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:22,450
...but the rainfall will definitely
make you wet.
208
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,660
Why are you staring at her?
209
00:13:35,030 --> 00:13:37,270
You've to talk to her first,
in that case.
210
00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:40,410
Unfortunately,
she speaks only English.
211
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,310
I don't want her to tie me a rakhi.
212
00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:49,420
I want her to be the mother
of my children.
213
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,870
Just wait and watch.
214
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:03,100
Yes, I was hitting on Shanu Ma'am.
215
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:04,880
But...
216
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,810
Nand,
what brings you here?
217
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:43,440
I came here casually.
How are you doing?
218
00:14:43,630 --> 00:14:46,590
I'm doing great. Shall I make
a sweet paan for you?
219
00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:50,280
If you promise
that you won't tell my dad...
220
00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:51,580
...I'll buy a cigarette.
221
00:14:51,730 --> 00:14:53,070
Nand...
222
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,050
...no good has ever come out of
ratting on people.
223
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,200
Take it.
224
00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:01,640
- Pandit ji.
- 'Yes?'
225
00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:04,010
- Who is...
- They are new to the city.
226
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,480
'A married couple
from Hapur.'
227
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:08,560
You know the
brick factory owner, right?
228
00:15:08,730 --> 00:15:10,060
They are renting his place.
229
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:14,560
- And what about her...
- Her husband?
230
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:19,730
Her husband
is a mobile phone salesman.
231
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:23,020
He's usually out of town
for about three days a week.
232
00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:30,330
Nand, you can't see much from here.
233
00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:32,410
- Pandit ji...
- Yes?
234
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,650
Whom should I see,
and from where...
235
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:38,420
Leave that to me.
236
00:15:59,730 --> 00:16:02,030
Hi, I'm the cable guy.
237
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,010
'My name's Pappu Tiwari.'
238
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,500
Here, take my card.
239
00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:09,900
Call me if there's a problem
with the connection.
240
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:11,730
Is it fine now?
241
00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:14,110
- Or should I check?
- Yes, please.
242
00:16:14,510 --> 00:16:16,050
And I'm thinking...
243
00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:18,460
"Pappu, take care".
244
00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:20,660
Shanu ma'am will outsmart you
with her English.
245
00:16:26,870 --> 00:16:30,040
I managed to get inside the house,
but what next?
246
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,030
Oh, she's as cold as ice!
247
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:39,280
I'll hang up now.
I think she's coming.
248
00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:04,810
Well... The connection... should
be set up in h-half an hour.
249
00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:07,860
A-And thank you very much...
250
00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:09,940
...for the glass of water.
251
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:12,470
Ma'am.
252
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,510
Call your mother ma'am,
I'm Rasbhari!
253
00:18:21,370 --> 00:18:24,810
I swear on God.
I have developed a new weakness.
254
00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:26,920
It pains a lot, over here.
255
00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:30,120
So far, I have slept
with around 82 girls.
256
00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:34,290
But the kind of workout
this teacher gave me...
257
00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,820
...was out of this world!
258
00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:40,590
Pappu bro, I'm not following you.
259
00:18:41,170 --> 00:18:44,970
Are you complaining or bragging...
260
00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:47,000
...or should I be worried for you?
261
00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:49,060
Hey, cut it out.
262
00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:51,690
And listen to this carefully.
263
00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:54,000
Do you know Sirohi's house?
264
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,200
- The one opposite Pandit's shop?
- Exactly.
265
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:58,590
A beautiful, hot woman
has moved into that house.
266
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,860
She really made me
work my ass off.
267
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:03,910
Don't ask me, man.
268
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,940
Why? Did she take you
for a ride or something?
269
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,710
You're wrong.
You're absolutely wrong.
270
00:19:11,530 --> 00:19:14,580
I walked right into her bedroom.
271
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:15,850
She agreed instantly!
272
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:18,000
And then I ended up doing
what I do best.
273
00:19:18,530 --> 00:19:22,070
Pappu bro, tell me
how do I impress her.
274
00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:25,500
Don't forget to smile at her
when she looks at you...
275
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,620
...everything will be smooth
sailing from there.
276
00:19:27,650 --> 00:19:29,510
Do you understand?
277
00:19:34,370 --> 00:19:36,150
What were you staring at yesterday?
278
00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:38,310
You know it.
279
00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:45,770
So, shall I show it
to you myself, today?
280
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:48,060
What is happening here?
281
00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:50,320
What is happening?
282
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:54,950
- Ma'am, well...
- English.
283
00:19:57,890 --> 00:20:01,500
- Just 'Esehi'.
- I said, 'English, please.'
284
00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:05,770
If you cannot talk in English,
please leave the class.
285
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,080
What was happening?
286
00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:22,490
Sex.
287
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:27,230
No.
288
00:20:31,870 --> 00:20:33,520
That will happen now.
289
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,470
Nand, listen.
290
00:20:48,650 --> 00:20:50,400
Nand.
291
00:20:53,590 --> 00:20:56,310
Couldn't you wait for 30 seconds?
292
00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:58,710
You're beating your meat here!
We're getting late for the class.
293
00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:01,040
- Damn you.
- Don't touch me.
294
00:21:04,670 --> 00:21:08,750
Whoever comes late to the class
will be sent out.
295
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:13,800
Nonsense. Why are you sleeping?
296
00:21:14,050 --> 00:21:15,790
Whose skirt did you
peep into this time?
297
00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:20,610
- Why are you not in the classroom?
- I had been to the loo.
298
00:21:22,450 --> 00:21:24,930
- Are you done?
- Why? You wanted to come along?
299
00:21:26,510 --> 00:21:28,040
Priyanka, I'm sorry.
300
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,540
There's no sense left in you.
301
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:32,740
I thought you were
my Rakhi brother.
302
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,720
But you turned out
to be a pervert.
303
00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:37,380
Priyanka, to be honest
I did not peek...
304
00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:40,500
...under the table on purpose.
My pen actually fell down.
305
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,830
I swear on God.
306
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,280
You made her your sister again
by shelling out 15 bucks.
307
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,260
Dude, I'm her friend now.
308
00:22:26,810 --> 00:22:29,170
I'm not going to be
anyone's brother anymore.
309
00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:32,770
So, you want to sleep with Priyanka
before your 12th grade.
310
00:22:34,430 --> 00:22:36,420
He is the one who pulls
the strings.
311
00:22:36,630 --> 00:22:38,490
I'm just here doing his bidding!
312
00:22:38,570 --> 00:22:40,670
Dude, even you know about
Shanu ma'am, don't you?
313
00:22:40,810 --> 00:22:43,050
What do you mean?
Who else knows about her?
314
00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:45,520
- Well...
- Guys, come with me. Right now.
315
00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:46,590
Tomar, what's the matter?
316
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,460
- Ms. Shanu is giving Jitu an earful.
- S**********r. Let's go.
317
00:22:49,550 --> 00:22:50,400
How dare!
318
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,510
He misbehaved with me
in the staff room.
319
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:55,180
Shanu ma'am, please keep it low.
320
00:22:55,270 --> 00:22:56,620
It's lunch hour.
Children are around...
321
00:22:56,650 --> 00:22:57,680
...please try to understand.
322
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,420
Sir, what do you mean,
keep it low?
323
00:22:59,510 --> 00:23:01,790
I'm going to the police
and filing a complaint against him.
324
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,190
This is unacceptable.
325
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,140
He doesn't deserve to be a teacher.
What will his students learn!
326
00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:07,200
Well, at least tell me
what did he do.
327
00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:08,860
Sir, I was checking the test papers
in the staff room.
328
00:23:09,130 --> 00:23:11,470
He was staring at me
but I ignored him.
329
00:23:11,530 --> 00:23:12,830
And then he walked
up to me and said...
330
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:14,620
Will you tell him...
331
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:17,250
...or shall I say it
and wash my mouth later?
332
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:21,280
Sir, he said, "I think your blouse
is tight, if you don't mind..."
333
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:22,720
"...I'll take the measurement
and get a new one stitched for you."
334
00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:24,890
- Let me take your measurement!
- Mr. Jitender, what's all this?
335
00:23:24,980 --> 00:23:26,920
S-Sir, I didn't say any such thing.
336
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,760
What? You didn't say anything?
337
00:23:29,330 --> 00:23:31,310
Sir, I'm going to report this
to the police.
338
00:23:31,340 --> 00:23:32,540
Please don't go to the police.
339
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,010
It will cause
unnecessary embarrassment...
340
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,790
...to him, to me
and to you as well.
341
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,620
You take him to my room
and reprimand him.
342
00:23:41,390 --> 00:23:43,640
Look, he's ashamed.
343
00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:48,130
Sir, he said this to me
in front of everybody.
344
00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,110
S**********r!
345
00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:02,210
No one will dare to mess
with Shanu ma'am now.
346
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:07,730
She defiled Mr. Jitu's face.
347
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:09,760
I can't believe Mr. Jitu
said that to her.
348
00:24:09,970 --> 00:24:11,930
I thought that s**********r
is a coward.
349
00:24:12,230 --> 00:24:15,430
Pappu was cooking up stories
and Jitu bought it, you know.
350
00:24:15,850 --> 00:24:17,210
It's not that easy, man.
351
00:24:20,670 --> 00:24:21,960
Oh, man.
352
00:24:23,110 --> 00:24:24,730
Where did you shoplift this from?
353
00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:26,580
I stole 200 bucks from
my dad's pocket...
354
00:24:26,670 --> 00:24:27,660
...let's drink Haywards 5000 today.
355
00:24:27,710 --> 00:24:29,770
You're a bloody b*****d.
356
00:24:34,070 --> 00:24:36,980
God damn it. Who's calling me now?
357
00:24:38,370 --> 00:24:39,950
- I'm f****d.
- What happened?
358
00:24:40,390 --> 00:24:42,510
I have to take mom somewhere.
I need to go home now.
359
00:24:42,860 --> 00:24:44,140
No problem.
I'll have both the bottles.
360
00:24:44,270 --> 00:24:45,280
Really?
361
00:24:46,410 --> 00:24:48,450
- Go ahead. Drink now.
- Hey...
362
00:24:49,180 --> 00:24:51,910
Get out of here. You think
I'm not going to drink it?
363
00:24:51,950 --> 00:24:54,520
- Enjoy.
- I will. Get lost.
364
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,220
D******k.
365
00:25:01,290 --> 00:25:03,550
Mom, I'm getting late
for my tuition.
366
00:25:03,570 --> 00:25:06,640
Don't worry, you will be on time.
Let me give your dad his medicine.
367
00:25:08,310 --> 00:25:09,340
He's inside.
368
00:25:20,570 --> 00:25:21,670
What are you doing here?
369
00:25:23,250 --> 00:25:24,290
Hi.
370
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,760
I was just...
371
00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:33,330
Don't you think you're obsessed
with female undergarments?
372
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,810
- No, I came here with my mom.
- Mom?
373
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,000
You brought your mom
with you to shop for this?
374
00:25:41,490 --> 00:25:44,650
No, my mom's not shopping.
375
00:25:44,860 --> 00:25:46,480
She came here to meet my dad.
376
00:25:47,530 --> 00:25:48,720
So your dad is shopping with her
for undergarments?
377
00:25:49,580 --> 00:25:53,500
Priyanka, my dad owns this store.
378
00:25:53,930 --> 00:25:54,950
Really?
379
00:25:56,860 --> 00:26:00,000
- Why didn't you tell me before?
- Well, you know...
380
00:26:01,070 --> 00:26:03,980
Next time, I want a discount.
381
00:26:09,410 --> 00:26:12,670
Let's go. Hurry up.
The Guruji is here for only two days.
382
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,230
Don't make me slap you now.
383
00:26:15,350 --> 00:26:17,440
You don't like
taking me around, do you?
384
00:26:20,270 --> 00:26:22,330
- I am late.
- I'm leaving.
385
00:26:22,430 --> 00:26:25,860
Five minutes. Just five minutes.
386
00:26:26,590 --> 00:26:27,610
Okay? Come on.
387
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,400
- Am I late, Sushma?
- No, not at all.
388
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,520
I have picked a number for you.
He will be here any minute now.
389
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,400
Well, I went to give
my husband his medicines.
390
00:26:43,820 --> 00:26:45,890
- Well, did you hear about her?
- Who?
391
00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:49,160
- Sirohi's new tenant.
- What about her?
392
00:26:49,550 --> 00:26:51,360
A married couple have moved
into that house.
393
00:26:51,630 --> 00:26:52,790
No surprise there.
394
00:26:53,020 --> 00:26:55,520
Ms. Sirohi always
rents it out to a family.
395
00:26:55,650 --> 00:26:57,600
- Hear me out.
- Go ahead.
396
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,330
A married couple has moved in...
397
00:27:01,410 --> 00:27:02,950
...and the wife is quite sexy.
398
00:27:04,060 --> 00:27:06,320
So what? What's the big deal?
399
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,240
There are so many sexy
women out there.
400
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,530
Have you seen my niece?
401
00:27:10,610 --> 00:27:14,170
She looks just like Katrina
that too without make-up.
402
00:27:15,220 --> 00:27:17,410
Stop interrupting me now!
403
00:27:19,650 --> 00:27:21,290
Come on, let her talk.
404
00:27:21,590 --> 00:27:23,150
Go ahead.
Tell us what happened.
405
00:27:23,390 --> 00:27:25,020
She's utterly sexy.
406
00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:27,180
All the men in the town
are going...
407
00:27:27,260 --> 00:27:29,400
...around her house
as if it's a shrine.
408
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,810
Sneh's husband
is in the police force...
409
00:27:32,900 --> 00:27:34,570
...and the police station
is near to her place.
410
00:27:35,650 --> 00:27:37,540
Do you still think
it's not a big deal?
411
00:27:40,610 --> 00:27:43,360
What do you know
about her husband?
412
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:47,040
I heard that her husband...
- Long live the Lord...
413
00:27:47,070 --> 00:27:50,180
Hail the sage...
- Long live the Lord...
414
00:27:50,370 --> 00:27:53,540
All hail...
- The Lord...
415
00:28:11,530 --> 00:28:13,480
Hello. Tell me.
416
00:28:13,950 --> 00:28:14,970
Mom, what should I get?
417
00:28:16,130 --> 00:28:17,170
Six Lachha Parathas
418
00:28:17,250 --> 00:28:20,660
- Four Lachha Parathas...
- It's six.
419
00:28:22,170 --> 00:28:24,530
- Go on.
- And...
420
00:28:25,090 --> 00:28:26,120
Two Dal Fry.
421
00:28:26,220 --> 00:28:28,340
- One Dal Fry.
- No, two.
422
00:28:28,580 --> 00:28:29,510
What are you doing?
423
00:28:29,670 --> 00:28:32,570
Let me talk. I'm on the phone.
424
00:28:32,690 --> 00:28:34,760
Mom, tell me the full list.
425
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,810
The guy here is getting mad at me.
426
00:28:38,070 --> 00:28:40,710
There's an order
from Sirohi Villa.
427
00:28:40,790 --> 00:28:43,140
Four Lachha Parathasand one Dal Fry.
428
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:44,630
Sir, I'll deliver it.
429
00:28:44,660 --> 00:28:46,430
Sir, he had gone yesterday.
Today's my turn.
430
00:28:46,510 --> 00:28:49,900
- Sir, let me go.
- Sir, I'll go. - Shut up!
431
00:28:50,670 --> 00:28:51,940
Where is this enthusiasm...
432
00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:53,810
..when I ask you guys
to do the dishes!
433
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,190
- Yeah. Tell me.
- Hey, Manoj.
434
00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:01,020
I'm taking my order home...
435
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:02,750
...Sirohi Villa is on the way.
436
00:29:03,870 --> 00:29:05,240
I'll deliver it,
if you don't mind.
437
00:29:05,420 --> 00:29:07,600
Pack both the orders now.
438
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:11,830
I was waiting for a chance to see
what Shanu ma'am's husband was about.
439
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:16,140
I didn't know that opportunity
would come knocking at my door.
440
00:29:25,670 --> 00:29:26,650
Yes.
441
00:29:27,770 --> 00:29:30,210
Sir, you had placed an order
for food, at Do Bhai.
442
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,320
Yes.
443
00:29:31,630 --> 00:29:32,830
Naveen, who's at the door?
444
00:29:33,190 --> 00:29:36,190
Shanu, a delivery boy
from the dhaba.
445
00:29:37,450 --> 00:29:38,380
How much is the bill?
446
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,170
Well, it's 320 rupees...
447
00:29:41,190 --> 00:29:42,400
...but I'm not a delivery boy.
448
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,750
- Who are you then?
- I'm Shanu ma'am's student.
449
00:29:45,070 --> 00:29:47,390
Listen, it's your student.
450
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:52,090
- Hi, ma'am.
- Hello.
451
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,750
Were you saying something?
452
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,190
Actually, I was going home
with my order...
453
00:30:00,580 --> 00:30:02,080
...I thought of dropping off
yours as well.
454
00:30:02,230 --> 00:30:05,190
Okay. I think
something's missing.
455
00:30:05,990 --> 00:30:07,550
Perhaps, it's in my takeaway.
456
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,180
Why don't you check?
457
00:30:10,020 --> 00:30:12,520
Give me a minute. Darling...
458
00:30:45,630 --> 00:30:46,630
Here's 320 rupees.
459
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:48,600
- Thanks, sir.
- Good night.
460
00:30:50,870 --> 00:30:51,890
Hi, Vipul.
461
00:30:53,290 --> 00:30:57,070
Pappu was making
d*******s out of us.
462
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,000
Shanu ma'am and her husband
love each other very much.
463
00:31:03,770 --> 00:31:06,090
I just saw it.
464
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,000
I'll see you tomorrow
and will explain it in detail.
465
00:31:18,150 --> 00:31:19,310
S**********r!
466
00:31:21,670 --> 00:31:22,800
Aunty, is that you?
467
00:31:23,940 --> 00:31:25,950
Sorry, I shouldn't
have said that.
468
00:31:26,090 --> 00:31:28,970
No problem, dear.
I have heard that word before.
469
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,220
But, aunty, what are you doing
here at this hour?
470
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,690
Stop questioning me
and turn around.
471
00:31:35,710 --> 00:31:39,300
- Aunty, I have to go this way.
- What did I tell you, dear?
472
00:31:39,820 --> 00:31:40,860
Turn around and go.
473
00:31:46,650 --> 00:31:50,010
On one side Shanu ma'am and
her husband's love was brewing.
474
00:31:50,540 --> 00:31:52,210
But women in Meerut...
475
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:56,280
...were resorting to black magic
to ward her off.
476
00:32:04,300 --> 00:32:06,920
Although a lemon looks cute...
477
00:32:08,070 --> 00:32:10,480
...once the juice is swallowed
it hits the stomach like acid.
478
00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:12,890
I was under the impression...
479
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,390
...that Shanu ma'am and her
husband are in deep love.
480
00:32:16,430 --> 00:32:18,530
But there were rumours
spreading in Meerut.
481
00:32:18,950 --> 00:32:20,660
Mr. Sharma who works
in Meerut Bank.
482
00:32:20,750 --> 00:32:23,510
Rahul, a B.Tech student
and Snehlata aunty's husband.
483
00:32:23,620 --> 00:32:25,160
She has slept with
these three men.
484
00:32:25,180 --> 00:32:26,420
What are you talking about?
485
00:32:27,030 --> 00:32:28,660
Ma'am, your account
has been opened.
486
00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:30,450
Is there anything else
I can do for you?
487
00:32:37,310 --> 00:32:40,820
Mr. Sharma who works in Meerut Bank
scored a homerun last night.
488
00:32:41,510 --> 00:32:43,600
- Really?
- Yes.
489
00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:46,220
Who told you?
490
00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:48,360
Mr. Sharma himself said
this to Bhatia.
491
00:32:50,900 --> 00:32:53,910
Rahul, a B.Tech student
takes tuitions from my husband.
492
00:32:55,380 --> 00:32:56,720
I have fixed the mixer, ma'am.
493
00:32:57,810 --> 00:33:00,350
He told me that he went
to fix the mixer.
494
00:33:01,580 --> 00:33:05,030
"These pretty eyes of yours"
495
00:33:05,070 --> 00:33:08,480
"Set my heart racing"
496
00:33:08,750 --> 00:33:12,600
"It's black magic"
497
00:33:12,980 --> 00:33:14,520
- And?
- What else?
498
00:33:14,940 --> 00:33:18,660
My husband went to pandit's shop.
Normally he doesn't smoke...
499
00:33:18,690 --> 00:33:22,930
...but I sent him forcibly to spy.
He said...
500
00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:25,210
"The inspector
assigned me this job."
501
00:33:26,020 --> 00:33:30,100
Officer, there's no need
to take off your uniform.
502
00:33:30,350 --> 00:33:31,770
The uniform turns me on!
503
00:33:33,140 --> 00:33:34,700
Ms. Snehlata was nearby...
504
00:33:34,940 --> 00:33:36,720
...when her husband stepped
out of Ms. Shanu's home.
505
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:37,960
And he was not in the uniform.
506
00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:44,340
Hey, what are you doing here?
I went with your lunchbox...
507
00:33:45,780 --> 00:33:46,880
What happened to your uniform?
508
00:33:47,330 --> 00:33:49,320
- They took it.
- Who took it?
509
00:33:50,210 --> 00:33:51,290
The laundry guy.
510
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,220
My shirt was stained with tea.
He'll return after washing it clean.
511
00:33:55,860 --> 00:33:57,320
Why are you still standing here?
512
00:33:57,350 --> 00:33:59,420
Come on, go.
I have to go to the station.
513
00:34:08,130 --> 00:34:10,800
Did she catch him in the act?
514
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,200
Dude, if she had caught
him red-handed...
515
00:34:13,420 --> 00:34:15,780
...she would have spread the news
in the entire neighbourhood.
516
00:34:16,020 --> 00:34:17,570
And she would have kicked
the shit out of her husband.
517
00:34:18,470 --> 00:34:21,280
- Looks are really deceptive.
- You're right.
518
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:24,830
Ma'am...
519
00:34:26,140 --> 00:34:29,980
...you can ask me if you want
to know anything about me.
520
00:34:33,910 --> 00:34:37,180
Dude, I don't believe this.
521
00:34:39,630 --> 00:34:41,800
Rumours about Shanu ma'am
were in the air...
522
00:34:42,610 --> 00:34:44,660
...and I was getting mind f****d.
523
00:34:50,770 --> 00:35:00,770
[Theme Music Playing]
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