All language subtitles for Christmas.Eve.2015.720p.BluRay.x264-.YTS.LT

Well, that was your first mistake.

You see, department stores are designed

on the premise that people naturally travel

in a clockwise direction.

Go counterclockwise and
you'll spend less money.

Huh, maybe.

Hmm.

Whoo-hoo, I got a trophy.

I'm James.

Oh, right, James, come in,

sit down over there.

James... Harris?

Yes.

I want a signed contract,
not tickets to hear somebody

crying Italian for three hours.
Get Steven on the phone.

Steven's in, um, London, sir.
It's Christmas Eve there.

Did I bloody ask
you what time it was in London?

Now, what if,
instead of paying for things

with money, you could
tell the cashier a story

that you've never told anyone before

and the crazier it was, the
more stuff you could buy?

Would the story
have to be true?

100% or else you get tased.

No wait, if the tumor's there,

we take it, right?

That's why we operate.

You saw her heart, the
damage was already done.

If I'd have seen it on the MRI,

I would have never opened her up.

And you're okay with that?

Whoa, ho, hold up!

That there,

what's the problem with you people?

Don't you know what a penthouse is?

I do not want a pillar obstructing my view!

I'm afraid that's just not possible, sir.

I mean, we could do it
but we'd have to change

the five floors underneath.

Well, it just so happens
that I own those five floors

and all the bloody floors beneath them.

I have Steven on the phone for you, sir.
Yeah, Steven?

Do to unforeseen
financial constraints

placed upon Pavlick Energy

a reorganization's become necessary,

which results in the
termination of James Harris.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I'm getting fired?

No, laid off.

But it's Christmas Eve.

Hey, Turk, what's up, buddy?

What?

Six to eight weeks?

Oh my god! What am I gonna
do for a running back?

We're gonna be late!

We're always late remember?

All aboard who's coming aboard.

Hurry guys, hurry up!

Just chill, guys, it's Christmas.

Come on, Dawn!

Okay, look at this, good
thing we're all friends here.

What about Jacob?
There's no way he'd fit in, just go.

Oh, come on, Jacob.

He'd better hurry.

Sorry boys, got a transport.

Oh well, well, it's Dr. Roberts.

Nurse Ratchet.

Wait a minute, isn't that the same...

don't worry, she'll be out
cold for another two hours,

then some poor nurse will
have to break her the news

because you'll be long gone.

Yeah, she's supposed
to be out in 30 minutes.

I should be there in 26,
assuming the subway's on time

and the crosswalk signals are
still set for commuter flow.

I don't want to hear that right now.

Listen, it's Christmas Eve,
we'll do it

after the New Year, okay?

We'll have lunch, then
we'll let the new guys

introduce themselves
and I'll cover the comp.

Hey, quick question,
I'm down a running back,

who do you take, Moreno...

Hello?

Can you hear me?

Um, sir, I just thought I'd remind you,

it's your son's birthday.

Um and it's Christmas,
should I send him a gift

in your name, maybe?

Reading my mind already?

What was that?

Shit!

What the hell?

That's not good.

That's not good at all.

Am I blind?

Anyone got any ideas?

I always knew I would
die in an elevator.

I want you to scatter my
ashes over our apartment.

On the roof or like
on the floors and stuff?

Maybe just in the fish tank,

like a little each day.

Just like, you know, a doo-doo-doo.

Did you know your fingernails
grow for like a year

after you're dead?

Actually, that's a myth.

As the body decomposes,
the skin recedes,

making it appear as if
the nails are growing,

but they're not.

Was that the brainiac
or the clean freak?

I think it was the brainiac.

The proper term for clean freak

is obsessive compulsive.

Used primarily as an adjective,

but sometimes as a noun.

So I wash my hands a lot.

You should thank me.

This is getting freaky!

Stu, hey, dude,

it's me.

Yeah, what's going on out there, man?

You're kidding me. The whole city?

What are you telling me?

Zombies, I knew it would
always end up like this.

You getting your face
ripped off by bikers

and me stuck in an
elevator with, hold please,

what's your name?

Dimples?

You said Dimples to me?

Interesting.

Dimples and I'm stuck with her.

And it would appear that
we may just be the last man

and woman on earth soon.

Great power does come
with great responsibility.

You know what, Stu?

This doesn't make
any sense, man.

You know why, because I
don't get cell reception

in elevators, which
means this conversation

isn't happening.

Which means, texting
probably doesn't work either.

Hmmmm.

Hi.

Do you know how long it's been?

Since I fell in love?

Since the elevator stopped moving?

10 minutes maybe?

You live in 38?

41?

Hey, do you live in 42?

Hey, you live in 43?

Yes, I live in 43.

I thought that snake
charmer lived in 43.

No, he's in 53, next to the clogger.

The clogger, that's right.

So how long you lived here?

Four years. You?

I don't live here.

I pop in, I make a
difference, I pop out.

But I'm not afraid
of commitment either.

You know what I heard?

I heard that if you
make it to five years,

this building does something
super dope for you.

They turn your hot water
on for an entire day.

So, I should probably swing
by and use your shower.

You know?

Are you all right in there?

Cover your eyes!

Okay.

Whoa!

Everyone get back.

Sir, your van's conducting electricity.

Don't touch anything.
Do you understand?

I will be all right if
I can find my Guadalupe.

Hello!

Anybody! I'm stuck in the elevator!

You gotta help me!

I'm pregnant, I'm a pregnant woman.

I'm about to have my
baby in the elevator,

if you don't come
right now, I'm gonna,

my water just broke!

You gotta help me, please!

Yeah, you want to
help me out here?

Ex-employees shall not infringe

upon the workspace of company,

nor use its resources,
tools, or services

at any time.

I get it, you're pissed 'cause I laid you off.

Ex-employees shall be
barred from association

with current employees
on company property.

Help!

Whether or not such interaction...

you're a lunatic!
Is at the invitation

of a current employee.

Listen, bro, it's Christmas Eve.

I don't want to be in
here anymore than you do.

Why don't you help me
get us both out of here?

Get out and go where?

I don't have a job, remember?

You think I enjoy laying people off?

Nope, firing people.

You fired me.

You want to think I'm evil? Go ahead!

I'd like to think of you as human.

I really would, but when you
can't spare fantasy football

for five minutes to
square up with a guy

whose life you just
turned upside down,

well then you seem more like
the Spawn of Satan himself.

You ever play fantasy football?

No, I'm not a loser.

Oh, okay, thank you.

It's a power outage,
they're working on it.

Five minutes at the most.

Walt, if you don't stop
elbowing me, I'm gonna kill you.

You hear that everybody?

Give queen Dawn her precious space.

Up yours, Walt.

Could you just be quiet a minute?

I'm trying to make this call.

There's no service in here.

Hey, sis?

Uh, if you get this message, it's Marta.

I'm stuck in an elevator

with the orchestra.

I think we're all gonna die.

Oh, god!
Oh come on, Marta,

shut the hell up!

That was uncalled for, Walt.

You shut up yourself.

You just told Walt to shut up.

I was shutting up the shutter upper.

It's different.

What if we miss the
entire Christmas concert?

I wouldn't care if I
never played another concert

in my entire life.

Oh come on, you
don't mean that.

Ugh.

Oh, seriously?

Oh.
Okay, who did that?

Nice try, Walt?

I'm so backed up right now

I couldn't fart to save my life.

Who ever did the deed, I hope you die

a long and painful death. Ow!

I think I just threw up.

Ugh, what's that on my neck?

Is that throw up on my neck?

It's probably just sweat.

Marta?

Maybe I didn't, maybe
I didn't, it's okay.

How can you not know
whether or not you threw up?

It's your own sweat.

Back off.

Hey, relax kid.

Bring it bad boy.
Hey!

Walt!

Come on, come on.

Stop the madness!

What.... was that?

Who the hell has a gun in here?

I don't have a gun.

Me neither.

I wish I had a gun.

A woman of my beauty
can never be too careful.

Shh.

Damn it.

Let me guess again, cakes?

In the business of cakes?

You don't work for the government.

What are you an attorney?

What are you, a private detective?

Do I look like a private dick?

I wouldn't say private.

Paralegal.

Ahhhh.

I was wondering...
you know...

I'm sorry, go ahead.

No, no, no, you should go.

I was just gonna say,
maybe we should try

yelling or jumping up
and down or something?

Really?

I was gonna say that coat
is totally wrong for you.

You're a fashion critic now?

No, it's deeper than that.

I'm a deep guy.

No thanks.

You ever poor crackle all
over a scoop of ice cream?

I don't know.

Well, you're the ice cream

and that coat is your shell,

that's your hiding place.

Well, if you can tell I'm trying to hide,

I must not be doing a very good job of it.

Why would you possibly want
to hide how beautiful you are?

I mean, what are you afraid of?

Little ole' me?

Wait, I got it.

You're an only child, right?

You're a sorority girl at Harvard,

just like mommy was.

And then you went to law
school and you thought

you met Mr. Right but he
dumped you final semester

when he realized he could be the next

Wolf of Wall Street.

You managed to graduate but

you were so distraught you just couldn't

pass the bar and so you
told all your friends

that you're a lawyer even though, really,

all you do is work for one.

Here comes my favorite part.

It's why I saved it for last.

I can't wait.

You've always wanted
to be a cheerleader.

What are you doing?

Well, I'd like to take a picture of you.

Stop! Hey! Stop!

Come one, show me
what's under that shell.

Stop!

Show me some emotion,
yeah, that's it.

We're in the surgery wing,

headed down to recovery
on the third floor.

How can that be?
This is a hospital.

Got it.

There's a glitch with
the backup generators,

should be 10 to 15 minutes.

You better hope
it's fixed before sleeping

beauty wakes up or one
of you's gonna have to

tell her the truth.

The truth is a cardiac liposarcoma.

Nothing anybody could
have done about it,

except god.

She had that bitch covered.

How's that?

She asked me to pray
with her before surgery.

And?

Maybe we should jump up
and down to get it going.

Yes!

No.

No.

Oh.

Well, I'm Molly.

I have been sober for 45 minutes.

I was headed to eat Chinese
with my BFF, Sherry,

who will tell you about
herself in just a minute.

Oh, I'm a Sagittarius and
I'm allergic to peanuts,

which is rare to be a Sagittarius

and allergic to peanuts.

I'm Sherry, rhymes with canary.

In a past life I was a cyberkinetic
force of unknown origin,

but in this life, I'm a poetry major.

Which means I pay the
rent by testing cosmetics,

which is why my face
is kind of puffy today.

Don't stare!

I... am... Nick.

I'm an art curator.

I was supposed to
lead the benefit tour

of the abstract exhibit
at the met tonight.

Just me, in New York's leading lights.

Yeah, instead I get to
spend it with four strangers

who clearly wash their hands
less than three times a day.

That's the national average.

I know.

My name is Glenn.

I'm Tim Giles.

And first off, cyberkinetic
forces, if they exist at all

have origins as
definable as any other,

unless they lay outside the
realm of time and space,

which is impossible.

Secondly, I don't buy that
you're going out for Chinese.

Not in those shoes.

Uh, well, we're headed to

a salsa bar to dance with illegal people.

It's our little Christmas charity.

So sue us.

It's not a winnable case.

Are you kidding me?

Why.. so.. serious? Huh?

We got a party here!

Looking good.

Stop!

Say what you're gonna say.

We got a problem
getting you out of there.

I know this.

Que pasa?

We got people stuck in
elevators all around the block.

Your van severed their main power line.

I screw the pooch?

Yeah, you did.

But your van is also
connecting the two halves

of the backup line.

The reason those elevators
haven't fallen to the ground

is because your van is
conducting electricity to their

emergency breaks.

What are you gonna do?

We're gonna dig down either side of you,

splice a line around your van,

lift you up and get you out of there.

Hope it works.

Me too.

Can I get you anything else?

Yeah.

I want to see my senora.

Guadalupe?

My real senora.

A gunshot?

I don't think so, no.

But if we did have a gun in here,
would that help us get out quicker?

Tell them we'll shoot
a person every hour until

they rescue us.

No wonder you're a drummer,
you're so aggressive.

10 more minutes, more or less.

They're working on it as fast as they can.

Let's pry the doors open.

We could shoot them open.
I never want to see that gun again.

Rotate?

Yeah.

Gonna be starting the
hallelujah chorus about now.

They're asleep.

Why would you say that?

You're one of the world's
most accomplished violinists.

I'm one of the world's
most bored violinists.

I wanted to be a dancer.

Then why aren't you?

My mother made me give
it up for the violin.

I got to admit, playing
dead guy's compositions

over and over again kinda bums me out.

Mozart, Bach, Handel,

those guys have got more
control over my life than I do

and they've been dead for over 300 years.

Yeah, when I was a little
girl I used to dream of

playing for the Queen of England.

I taped a picture of her to my bedroom wall

and practiced in front of it.

Two years ago, there she was

sitting in our audience.

When I warm up before a concert,

I do it exactly the way
my father taught me.

It's like a prayer to him.

I like boy bands.

Please tell me that wasn't Dawn.

She's got a gun,

she can like whoever she wants.

Come on, I said I was sorry.

I didn't mean to freak you out.

Now, how long has it been

since we got stuck in here?

Ugh, two hours?

It's the only elevator in the building, right?

Yeah.

So they gotta know that
we are still stuck in here!

I'm not an only child.

What?

I'm not an only child.

I'm the middle of five.

My dad was a janitor

but I did have all the
aspirations of the rich kids.

Debate club, early graduation,

and the whole bit.

But as soon as I got
accepted to Princeton

and Yale and Harvard,
I realized I just,

I really didn't want to go to any of them.

It was, I don't know,

I was just completely burnt out.

So I stayed home and went to a couple

community college classes.

I'm not even a paralegal.

Ahh, lies.

I just make copies and coffee.

Speaking of which, I'm really hungry.

Do you have anything in these bags?

I don't know.

I'll make you a deal.

Hello? Hello!

Harris and son, can you hold?

No, I can't.

Okay, sir, what's the problem?

What do you think the problem is?

I'm stuck in this damned elevator!

Yeah, I see that.

Uh, we're dealing with
a situation down here.

I'm gonna check it out
as soon as possible.

Really sorry about that.

You've just spoken
four complete sentences

without providing one drop
of pertinent information.

I already realize my
elevator has a situation

and you being sorry in and of itself

is not pertinent.

Your checking out the
problem is not pertinent.

I doubt that you are even pertinent!

But whoever you are, you
better get this elevator moving

in one minute or I will find you,

fire you, and then make
sure that you are fired

from your next three jobs after that.

Is that pertinent enough for you?

Hello? Hello?

Over two hours.

What's going on?

It can't be that hard
to reset the system.

Don't let him get to you, doc.

The idea of a higher power
helps someone, then great.

Personally, I don't buy it.

You don't buy it or you don't buy

that anyone should buy it?

I don't like to see
good people get hurt

putting faith in things that aren't real.

Did you get hurt, doc?

It's just not real.

Are heart transplants real?

Of course they are.

Now, but they were only
imaginary a few decades ago.

So if we wait long enough
then anything can be...

Oww!

Hello?

Yeah?

Okay.

I think we might have
killed the backup system.

If ever there was an argument

against intelligent design...

Ping.

Huh, "abandon hope, all ye who enter here."

Okay, I'm gonna pretend
that I didn't see that.

Could you please stop doing that?

Hey, we're stuck between
the 15th and 16th floors.

We're aware of that.

So the logical solution
is to lower us half a floor

by accessing the reserve cable.

There's no such thing as a reserve cable,

but nice try.

Don't patronize me,

we all have the same problem,

one problem, increasing the
ratio of problem solvers

to said problem inevitably
improves our chances

of solving that problem is less time.

Sir, we are working very hard...

possibility number one,
a secondary source of power

as evidenced by the
backup lights is available

and while probably insufficient
to simultaneously power

every elevator in the
building, might be fed

exclusively to one.

Seven and a half
billion people in the world

and you manage to piss
off the one man who could

possibly help us.

There are only 7.163
billion people in the world.

Point taken.

It was dark, it was misty,

it was no night to
be running out of gas

on a lonely country road.

The husband locked his wife in the car

while he went for help.

But when he came back, she was dead

and there was someone
he'd never seen before

in the car with her.

But the doors had not been opened,

the windows had not been rolled down.

The car... it was a baby.

Why can't you take a
picture of an Indian woman

with hair curlers?

You need a camera to take a picture,

not hair curlers.

Take an empty wine bottle, drop a coin it

and put a cork in the top of the bottle.

How can you get the coin
out without removing

the cork?

There's no such thing
as a question without

an answer.

You might not know it
now, but it's out there,

waiting to be found.

Wanting to be found.

It's almost always simple.

So simple, it's almost silly.

And when you find it,

well, there's no feeling
like it in the world.

My wife's gonna kill me.

My dad's gonna kill
me when he finds out

I was fired.

Laid off.

He's a big time developer.

All he cares about is work and money.

He's building a skyscraper
with a five floor penthouse,

just for him.

You know, I've had to
lay off 238 people since I

started this job?

I have list at home of
everybody I've ever laid off.

I don't know why I keep it.

Probably helps you to
pretend you really care.

What are you a Saint?

It's like watching tornado
coverage on the news,

you know you should feel
bad but then you just

change the channel and
thank god it wasn't you.

You know what the execs
call you employees?

Care Bears.

Know what they call you?

Snow White because you're so bored

and disengaged that you
might as well be dead.

Snow White?

Yeah, Dave called you sasquatch,

but he never made any sense.

Dave, you know Dave slept

on my couch one night?

Yeah, company Christmas
party two years ago.

Dave, designated driver Dave,

gets so sloshed, calls a cab, climbs inside,

and can't remember where he lives.

The hotel gives him my
address since I'm the guy

who paid for the party,

he shows up at my house,
he's got no idea he's

at the wrong place.

He waltzes in on my wife and me,

so we take him out and
put him on the couch.

Next morning we get up,
he's gone without a trace.

Blanket's folded up, the whole bit,

like he was never there.

And he never said a word
about it and neither did I,

but every Christmas, there's
a plate of sugar cookies

arrives on our doorstep.

Little reindeer sugar cookies

and I know it's
Dave bringing them.

That's not Dave.

It's accounting.

They put eyedrops in them,

diarrhea.

That explains a lot.

Oh, I know, it's just the
worst thing ever, isn't it?

Perfect.
Okay.

All right.

Wow!

Let's do it.

Sir?

Hello? Yes, I'm in here!

We're trying to get you down.

There's a power outage a block away

and it looks like it might be awhile.

Just open the damn door!

You're between floors, sir,

even if we could... is there anything

you know how to do?

Sir, I'm trying my...

you're fired!
That's what you are!

Hello?

Hello? Come back here!

Hello? Hello?

Oh, shit!

Get me...

out of here!
Ahhhhh!

Like this.

Well, it's
not as big as my face.

You gotta push harder.

Oww! You little runt.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I almost started to pee.

Think of something else.

Think about cars.

What kind of car do
you think she drives?

What's she do, chief?

She's a harpist in the orchestra.

So she's gotta drive something big

enough to haul the harp around.

She's what? 35?

32.

A young, poor musician,

it's gotta be used.

A 2001 Volvo wagon.

No, her husband's a computer programmer.

So, we do have a little money. Hmm.

A Land Rover?

Could be.

10 bucks says it's red.

Why?

Musicians love red.

Passionate artist, dressed
in black all the time.

Whenever they can, they choose red.

Says who?

Says...

studies.

I bet her car's black 'cause she's

conditioned to like black.

I bet it's brown.

Look at her hair color.

She's kept it natural.

How 'bout you, Dr. Moneybags?

Mmm, I'll say white, not off white,

pure white.

You know, like heaven.

Here we go.

Look, let's be honest,
god, white beard, angels.

Isn't that the most ridiculous
thing you've ever heard?

Is there anything about our existence

that isn't ridiculous?

Sure there is.

Let's assume the universe existed

only as random chaos

and 14 billion years ago

there was a big bang

and out of it came planets
and stars and vegetables

and cavemen and the
five of us all sitting

right here in this elevator?

Is that possible?

You bet it is.

And is it also crazy?

Yeah, because I don't care
how any of us got here,

it's mind-blowing,
incredible and grand.

All right, a beautiful,
young wife whose heart is being

strangled now, explain that
and a loving god to me,

on this fine Christmas Eve?

I can't.

I'll tell you what I can explain.

One summer evening when I was 10,

I was playing outside because
my parents were fighting.

The sun was going down
and I turned around

to look at my house
and I had this feeling

as clear as anything
that god knows who I am.

It wasn't like, here's the whole story,

or now it's us against
them, it was just

know this,

know this one thing.

And, uh, I could never deny what I felt

at that moment

and hanging on to it
gets me passed the things

that I don't understand.

I don't know everything, but it doesn't mean

I don't know anything.

Yeah, yeah, we're almost down to the mains.

That's great, not too deep.

Yeah, well, I'll get right back to you.

Mr. Cooper?

Mrs. Lopez?

If we're halfway between floors,

the top of our elevator's
got to be no more

than 10 feet from the next floor.

Why not just break the
bottle to get the coin out?

You can't break the bottle.

Can you melt it?

No, because you can't
alter the condition

of the bottle in any way.

Hey, could you give me a boost, big guy?

Okay.

Ah, let's play charades.

Yes!

I'll go first.

It's movie.
Yes.

Two words.

There's no light
coming from the other floors.

No way to tell how
far the next one is.

A horse, a deer?

Deer Hunter?

It's a dog.

If we could get up there,

the doors probably wouldn't
open with the power out.

Benji?

Hounds Of The Damned?

Old Yeller.

Yeah.

How did he get that?

Saddest movie ever,
scarred me for life,

I loved it.

Saddest thing you can think of, go!

A puppy in a full body cast

and he's crying and in the reflection

of one of the tears,
there's a unicorn and he's

starving to death.

Hmm, it's hard to top that.

Yes, it is.

A boy who eats his best friend.

Eaww.

Um, a bunny who falls in a well

and no one can save him because...

everyone's been eaten.

Your turn, Einstein, saddest thing ever.

Well, there was a scientist who lived

300 years ago who wanted to figure out

how much the earth weighed.

And he theorized a
series of measurements

that could be taken
using pendulums, weights,

and counterweights.

He spent years building
his ingenious contraption

and then he died.

He knew exactly how to get the answer,

but he never got to know it.

Everything that has ever occurred,

everything that ever will occur

is subject to laws that are knowable

and with enough of that knowledge,

you could literally
understand everything.

And to live in recognition of that gulf,

between what is knowable,
which is everything,

and what we actually know,
which is almost nothing,

well that's more than sad.

It's the ultimate human tragedy.

You know the problem
with this company?

Global energy's a big challenge, right?

So we think we gotta be a big company,

so we end up big and
slow and old-fashioned.

No way to stay ahead of
the curve when you're built

like an aircraft carrier.

Yeah, it's the worst
place to be though,

ahead of the curve.

Why?

Everyone is always
focusing on energy sources,

I mean you can get
energy from anything;

Water, corn, dead dinosaurs,

but it's the delivery
of energy that poses

the greatest opportunity.

And it's simple.

You mean microgrids?

No, no, no.

The fiberoptic?

Nope.

What?

What is this? Your magnum opus?

Check it out.

This is your idea?

I said it was simple.

Why haven't you
shared this with anyone?

I'm in tech support,
or rather was,

plus, it's not fully thought out yet.

I mean, I can deliver
energy straight to your

front porch, but if you've
got a house with stoneage

circuitry, well, that's where

the magic ends.

Well, who says you need
to go inside the house?

Make them go out and get it.

Not the people, the gadgets.

They want a second extension,

one way or another, somebody's
gonna hung out to dry

and it ain't gonna be me.

Call the fixer, get the
names of all the other

competitors, take out
separate lawsuits,

get Hillman back
from his honeymoon,

he can help.

And find the name of
Kelso's favorite restaurant,

buy it, we can't
wine and dine him,

let's make damn sure
no other bugger can. Ahhh!

Show me what's
underneath that shell.

Think about the clogger.

I hate the clogger.

How much do you hate him?

Clogging in the morning,

clogging in the evening,

clogging 'til you want to die.

He clogs for the girl in 43.

But you know what,
she's not a lover,

she's a fighter.

We're not making copies today.

She's got a jaw of steel,
ladies and gentlemen.

Show me what's
underneath that shell.

A heart of glass.

What does that mean?

When that heart gets broken,

ain't nobody gonna come in...

okay, you know what, I'm done.

I just, I want my
stupid candy bar, okay?

All right.

You earned it.

I kind of hate you.

Hola, Jorge.

Hey, hey!

No, no.

And I want him scared stiff,

I want him scared into action.

These people, they aren't tough,

they're weak people
trying to act tough.

They're wasting my time.

Please? Won't somebody help me?

I am stuck in here!

Help me!

God help me.

I'll dose her down to make it last,

but if her vitals drop, you're gonna have

the mother of all
lawsuits on your hands.

I'm gonna have the
mother of all divorces

on my hands if I don't
get out of here soon.

I promised my wife I'd take
her to the Met tonight,

some Christmas Eve art thing.

Just go in the corner.

Not in here, you don't.

Let me show you a trick.

Ah, I don't think
that'll handle the volume.

I did a rotation at
in eastern medicine.

I'm gonna show you how to block out

pain with your mind.

Stick this into my neck.

The mind controls the body.

The body serves the mind.

Through the mind, into the body.

So...
shhh.

My body is hereby denied
permission to feel pain.

My mind has not authorized it.

My mind has not deemed it so.

Right here.

All at once.

Ha.

Ha!

Take it out!

Take it out!

I can't!

Come here.

Hold still, hold still.

You said you
wouldn't feel it.

Yeah.

Karen? Can you hear me?

Try not to move.

Heart rate is climbing.

Probably from somebody screaming.

Karen, I want you to relax.

Can you hear me?

Where's my husband?

After several days,
officials changed the mission

from one of rescue to recovery.

But friends and family held out hope,

staging a candlelight vigil
in the building's lobby

mere feet from where the
group were last seen.

And it's a regular sized coin?

Regular sized coin,
regular sized bottle,

regular sized cork.

Not a time travel thing?

So, uh,

what do they mean?

Oh, uh, lots of things.

Uh, this one's for my grandpa.

This one's my mom.

This is my goldfish, Mr. Sundae,

he still hasn't figured
out what he wants to say.

Um, what about,
uh, um, this one?

That one?

That one's complicated.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Who's it for?

A friend.

A, uh, a girlfriend?

Not anymore.

Is that water?

You have water?

Yes.

I think we should
give it to Jacob.

I'm all right for now.

I think we should save it.

In case we're
trapped in a smaller,

hotter, elevator some day?

Maybe Jacob's right,
maybe we should save it.

Crimeny!

I'll give you $20 for it.

I'll give you $100 for it.

Since when do you have 100 bucks?

We'll save it for later.

Yeah.

Christmas Eve, solo performance,

what do you play?

I'll Be Home For Christmas.

Bing Crosby, better than Beethoven.

Got similar chord progressions.

Not sure what we could
bring to the lyrics.

♪I'm dreaming tonight♪

♪Of a place, I love♪

♪Even more than I usually do♪

♪And although I know,
It's a long road back♪

♪I promise youuuu,♪

♪I'll be home for Christmas♪

♪You can count on me♪

♪Please have snow and mistletoe♪

♪And presents on the tree♪

♪Christmas Eve will find me♪

♪Where the love light gleams♪

♪I'll be home for Christmas♪

♪If only in my dreams♪

♪Christmas Eve will find me♪

♪I'll be home for Christmas♪

♪If only in my dreams♪

Ah.... yeah.

It's the same delivery
system you're talking about

but we apply it to both sides,

doubling its efficiency.

What about rural areas?

You know, places that
don't draw that much power?

Maybe we could sell the
midwest back to the French.

Or, we could offset the difference

with a bigger push from the primary?

I don't know. No, no, no.

We're making it too complicated.

The beauty of it was
its simplicity. Right?

How do we turn a rural
area's remoteness,

into a benefit?

Hello? Is anybody there?

I need to reach my son.

I have to tell him that...

I didn't expect
him to understand.

I certainly don't
expect him to forgive me

but he ought to know

that I know that I screwed up.

I've got a lot of stuff.

That's not what we had.

You, your mum, and me

had a one bedroom
flat in north London.

Archway.

You probably don't remember it

but we were rich.

All this other stuff,

it's nothing!

They dress you up,

they tell you you can
buy everything you want,

act like you own the world,

but that isn't it.

We were rich, James, Jimmy.

So sorry.

I blew it.

Do you feel anything, Karen?

No.

I can't feel my chest.

Your sternum is held
together with staples,

so it's important that
you hold very still, okay?

How'd it go?

Tumor did a lot of damage.

Much more than we
could see on the MRI.

It's not good, Karen.

Am I gonna die?

You probably have a few weeks.

Maybe a month.

Do I have to spend
the rest of it in here?

This all seems very strange, I know,

but, uh, you'll be out of here soon

and back together with your husband.

No...

I'm not going to tell him.

Why not?

Well, he already knows
too much about everything.

He doesn't need to know this.

Don't we have to tell him?

Legally she is the only
one we have to inform.

He'll know soon enough
what's happening to me.

Dr. Roberts?

Yes?

I need something from you.

What's that, Karen?

I need you to pray for me.

I'll be sure to...
I want you to pray

for me now.

Karen, I don't think
that a prayer is gonna...

I'm not asking for a miracle, doc.

Just a prayer.

Dear god, if

you're there...
He's there,

doc, he's there.

We have a woman here...

I have a name.

Karen is very sick.

Be honest, doc.

Would you let me do this?

Karen is going to die.

She has a tumor on her heart

and there's nothing
that we can do about it.

So if there's anything
that you can do,

please do it.

She's going to be in a lot of pain and

her husband is going to need help.

Her family and friends

and all of us,

we all need to know something.

Not everything, just something.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

You should have prayed for
the elevator too, chief.

Well, Dimples,

if they haven't
figure it out by now,

they ain't gonna figure
it out 'til morning.

So, don't let the bed bugs bite.

Got any more candy bars?

I wish.

You know, you changed me.

I what?

Well, you wanted to
prove I was beautiful,

and the first thing
you did was change

my hair and makeup.

Okay, that's called putting
your best foot forward.

I believe the Greeks invented that.

Well, if you really
thought I was beautiful,

you would've have
just taken my picture.

I'm sorry, uh,

who's photo was it that I
just took about 300 times?

Someone you made
me pretend to be.

No, that was you.

I took those pictures of you.

If waking you up and
welcoming you back

to the rest of us is wrong,
then you can lock me up

and throw away the key.

Because when some east
villager with non-prescriptive

lenses in his glasses
makes concentric circles

of elephant shit on a
canvas and calls it art,

I thank Monet.

I thank him for painting lilypads

instead of the dead carp floating

on top of the pond, I lost my metaphor.

But you know where I'm coming from.

And I think you liked it.

I think I want to
take some more pictures.

You know, I just want to say...

I'm not afraid to eat you guys if that's

what it comes down to.

Think I figured out why
you're still single, Walt.

There are no secrets in elevators.

Well, then

I cheated on my music
theory final at Julliard.

I have flowers sent to
me after every concert.

I'm the one who farted.

Owww!

There can be no retribution,

it's a confession.

Depends on what you confess.

Hey, we should shoot the door open.

And then what? Shoot our
way through the brick wall?

Maybe we'll be near an opening.

Huh?
Okay.

Give me some room.

Wait a minute, what
about a ricochet?

This is a really bad idea.

Don't do it, Dawn!

I'll give you my water!

Forget the water,
open the damn door!

Don't give up your water, Kendra.

Maybe we should all just have a sip.

What? Are we in Africa? Huh?

It's Kendra's water, she should do

what she likes with it.

Everyone who thinks the
water should remain a symbol

of hope, raise your hand.

This is ridiculous, it's her water!

Shoot the damn door!

Shut up!

Or I'll pour it out!

Okay, fine, okay,

I will put the gun away.

But I get to choose the next song.

I want to hear silent night

and I want Mandy to play it.

About halfway down,

the big black one that looks
like it should be pushed.

Yeah, you push it again to
take a picture.

Right, okay, you ready?

You're so pleased with yourself.

Well, wouldn't you be?

I guess I deserved that.

Yes, okay, let's see you work it.

Come on, Dimples,
show me some emotion.

Ooh, all right,
you're the ice cream.

Crack the shell.

Oh, there it is.

That's really nice.

Have you done this before?

This mascara really
brings out your eyes.

Really nice look on you.

I don't know why
you're making me do this.

Yes, you do.

3.1415926535358.

3.14159265358.

3.14159265358.

Hello?

Hey!
Hello?

You guys okay?

Ecstatic, yeah.

We're about to
splice a broken power line.

It might get a little bumpy.

I'll check back in a bit,

see if you need anything.

All right.

Actually, we kind of
need something right now.

What's that?

Well, we've got a wine bottle,

an empty wine bottle

and there's a coin in
it and we want to get

the coin out without removing the cork.

Couldn't you
just push the cork down

into the bottle, then
pour the coin out?

Ah, yeah, that
might work! Thanks!

The distances
posed by rural areas

are no longer an issue.

Hey, this is security.

Anybody in there?

No, no, nobody here.

We're fine.

Distances are irrelevant

as long as the system
itself remains unchanged.

I mean, it's pretty simple, right?

Right?

Slap me in the face.

Slap me in the face!

I feel like I'm having
a dream where I'm stuck

inside an elevator,
revolutionizing world energy.

How 'bout we slap each
other at the same time?

To be sure?

Great, I'll count.

One, two, three.

Oww!

I still see it.

I still see it too.

We're not dreaming.

We're not dreaming!

Oh my gosh, you're light.

Come on, Mandy, you
can do better than that.

So, uh, what kind of art thing

were you doing tonight?

It was at a Christmas benefit.

Abstract art in a post-abstract world.

Why don't you give us the tour?

Oh, seriously, we want to see it.

I don't think so.

I "heart" art.

Nothing better to do.

Oh, right.

Huh, you seem taller.

Really?

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome to the
metropolitan museum of art

and our newest exhibit,

abstract art in a post-abstract world.

The French art critic, Andre Gide,

famously stated that art
is a collaboration between

god and the artist and the less
the artist does, the better.

So with that in mind, let's
take a look at some of the

finest collaborations in the
sunset of the movement itself.

Leading off our exhibit is
a piece entitled, war cry.

Based on the title the
viewer might expect

to be presented with a
traditional battle scene.

But is instead presented
with the image of a mirror

painted on a large
chunk of cardboard.

The image itself doesn't
reflect anything,

for the viewer has
to complete the piece

in their own imagination.

What is it they want to see?

What are they afraid to see?

And if there is a war cry,
then where is the war?

Well, perhaps it's in that
location common to us all,

the human psyche.

That sacred place where we
decide what we'll fight for

and what we'll run from.

Moving on now to
our largest exhibit.

It's a concrete wall.

It's 12 feet high, 20 feet long

and on the left hand side of the wall,

a single word, "history," written some

70,000 times, varying
in size and shape,

they seem to be vying for space,

pushing and shoving,
hoping to be noticed,

hoping to be remembered.

On the right hand
side of the wall,

the blank side, is just
as much a piece of art

as the left side.

Is the blank side the future?

One suspects, yes.

Because all 70,000 histories
are written upside down,

forcing us to read them upside down

and thus capsizing the
importance of the past.

And if you focus solely on the past,

it threatens to
become our present,

or perhaps, even our future.

Get it up!

Get it up more!

Get away!

Our next piece is a
sculpture entitled figurehead.

I like it.

It calls to mind the
figureheads that adorned ancient

sailing ships, most often
wooden carvings of women

or mythical gods.

This figurehead gives

few clues as to the
precise being underneath.

There are hints of an overall shape,

perhaps a woman,

possibly trying to emerge.

It's impossible to
tell, of course,

because it's hidden
under layer upon layer of

thick paint, rendering
it almost formless.

So what's really
underneath all the paint?

Oh, we don't know.

Don't you want to know?

Well, once a mystery's
scheduled for solution,

it's no longer a mystery, is it?

It's a problem.

But my favorite, piece,
and one I really can't wait

to show you, is this one here.

It has no title and the
artist refused to sign it,

not wishing to influence
its interpretation.

But the unique size
of canvas, the colors,

the variety of media,
leave it all as open

to interpretation as possible.

I wouldn't even know how
to describe it

if you asked me to.

Because it defies every
attempt at description

and categorization.

Help me, Guadalupe!

I doubt the artist
could even reproduce it

if you asked him.

Mi amor.

Art at its very best,

whatever that is.

Well, that concludes our tour.

I'd like to thank you all for
being with us this evening

and the exhibition is
now yours to explore.

Is it working?

My head hurts.

It's working.

So Karen, what are you gonna do

when you get out?

Um, play my harp

a lot.

Eat chocolate cake every night.

Go for some long drives.

Whoa!

Got up too fast.

Whoa.

Is he okay?

He'll be fine,

but I don't think he
has to go pee anymore.

So, Karen,

what kind will you be
driving on those long drives?

You know, I had an old
Chevy Blazer for a long time,

drove that thing everywhere.

But it got stolen
a couple years ago

so I just bought a used Volvo.

It's okay, I guess, functional.

Mostly I bought it for
its color.

What color is it?

You know, to think of it,

it's time for an oil change.

I will never have to change
the oil again, will I?

Or pay taxes or clean
the bathroom.

It's green.

Hello?

Oh! Thank you, that's
wonderful news!

Five more minutes.

Yeah, we've heard that before.

I choose to believe it,
everything's gonna be okay,

back to normal.

A normal Christmas.

Well, I don't know about you guys,

but I'm not going back to normal.

You know, the only thing
worse than being stuck

in this elevator is being
stuck in third chair.

When I get out of here,

I'm gonna try out for first.

Mmm.
Go Marta.

I'm done playing
for the dead guys.

Not another note until it's
something I wrote myself.

And I'm calling Julliard
and telling them I cheated.

And I'm gonna visit Karen,
see how her surgery went.

And how 'bout you, Mandy?

I really don't know
what I'm gonna do.

I ain't making no resolution.

Come on, tough guy!

You've got to!

These are great.

Mmm-hmm.

They're all you, Dimples.

So do you work with
other photographers

or have your own studio or what?

I work at... the morgue,

actually, taking pictures of dead people

for city records and what not.

No kidding?
No kidding.

But sometimes, they
were makeup too.

Walter, Walter, Walter

Walter, Walter, Walter!

All right, enough!

Walter, Walter!

I'm, finally gonna

profess my love to the
woman of my dreams.

Hmm.
Yeah!

So who's the lucky dame, big guy?

Dawn.

I always knew you had
beady eyes for me, Walter.

Okay, if I keep the backstreet
boys sheets on my bed?

As long as you're between them.

Oh, brother.

Hey! Yes!

Get out of my way!

Hello?

Yes.

Thank-you.

Thank-you, very much,
thank-you, thank you.

Merry Christmas.

There are a few
holes in the roof boys,

you might want to check 'em out.

One, two, three, four.

Hey guys, the power's back up,

I want to thank all of
you, well, most of you,

for being so patient.

We should be moving
in just a second.

Merry Christmas to us.

Yes! Yes!

Get everything, get everything.

Uh, okay, could
change everything.

Do you mind if I keep this?

Knock yourself out.

I was thinking maybe...
I was thinking.

go ahead.

No, no, no, you go.

I was gonna say, maybe we
should try climbing up the top?

That's a terrible idea.

I was gonna say that when
this is finally over,

if we're not two dead people,

then we should, uh, yes, yes!

Yes! Thank you!

We love you!

Oh, 6 am.

What's everybody gonna do now?

I'm gonna go for a jog

and then a doughnut.

I want to go to bed and a movie.

Hey, Glenn, thanks
for the art, man.

Yeah, it was neat.

And Nick, I've just
got to know about,

well, no, actually, no,
I don't want to know.

Tim? You never told
us where you were going.

Oh, I'm headed to the hospital.

My wife, she had a
small tumor removed.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, I hope it went well.

No, it's no big deal.

We knew what it was and
we knew how to fix it.

Call CNN as well.

I don't know what...

I Love You!

Sir, are you okay?

What's going on in there?

Wow.

Been in here a long time.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

So are you gonna take the
stairs the rest of the way?

No, my buddy lives
a few floors up

so I think I'm going to take
my chances with the beast.

It helps me.

Very brave.

You know, I never
asked you your name?

Ann.

Well, Annie, I think the two of us

should probably see each other
again, relatively quickly,

someplace with a little more real estate.

What do you say to that?

I have a boyfriend.

No kiddin'?

No kidding.

Dashing and loaded,

I assume.

He's in tech support.

Does he have any idea
how beautiful you are?

I do.

Crikey, no one even knew we were here.

Well, we did.

Come on, guys, bring it in.

Well, I gotta go, see you guys.

Get home safe.

Hi.

Bye, Glenn.

Hey, thought I'd come
along for the ride.

Jogging, we're gonna get doughnuts.

Oh, I really want to watch that movie.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Ohhh, excuse me!

Dude!

It's no big deal.

Well, looks like I'm going like this.

Fantastic!

Damn biker!

Hey, Happy Birthday

and Merry Christmas.

I'm so sorry I missed
the party last night.

Oh my gosh, don't
worry about it.

I didn't make it either.

Look, I'll see you soon and
I'll tell you all about it

but you are never gonna
believe what happened to me.

Try me.

Dude, you're late for a lesson, yah?

Where have you been?

I don't know.

Guys?

Guys?