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1
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_
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00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:07,485
Oh, Hayley, you know what
I drove by the other day?
3
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:11,098
That old place we always used to
go to when you were little,
4
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,839
the ice cream shop
with the kinda confusing name?
5
00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,450
- Hot Scoops?
- Yeah.
6
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,973
Whaddya you say
we go after this,
7
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,235
for old times' sake?
8
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:20,498
Ah, wish I could, Big Mama
9
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:23,197
but I gotta, uh...
get to work.
10
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:25,199
I thought Sub Hub
was still closed
11
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,462
because of that
whole horse meat thing.
12
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:30,378
You know, how they found out it
was actually raccoon meat?
13
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,249
That's right, huh?
14
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,164
I meant, um, I have a...
15
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,600
ah, let's see...
16
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,428
Groff Progressive Student
Alliance meeting.
17
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:40,649
On Cesar Chavez Day?
18
00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:42,607
Babe, it's
the Scholastic Book Fair
19
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:44,174
at the middle school today.
20
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,524
Can I get an advance
on my allowance?
21
00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,657
Okay,
but no "Goosebumps."
22
00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:50,006
You'll be awake all night.
23
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:55,055
Since when does Hayley
have that kind of loot?
24
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:59,146
Hm, must be pickin' up a
little extra scratch somehow.
25
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:01,539
Some, uh, walkin' around money?
26
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:03,846
Chuckle cheddar?
Some funky frog-skins?
27
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:06,588
Play-Doh, lil stash
o' cushion cash.
28
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:10,026
But where is Hayley picking up
that kind of wallet candy?
29
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:11,332
Must get it from me.
30
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:13,160
The ability to make money,
that is,
31
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,596
not the money itself.
32
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,337
As you know,
having come from poverty,
33
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,948
I pride myself on my ability
to provide this family
34
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:20,167
a high standard of living.
35
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,298
Steve-o, heads up.
36
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,518
Escargot, comin' in hot.
37
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:27,174
Hold up, gettin' a call
from my financial planner.
38
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:28,697
Scotty Boombotty.
39
00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:31,003
Lemme get somewhere quiet
so you can really scream
40
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:33,180
those big-ass numbers at me.
41
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,964
Double digit gains, you say?
42
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:38,750
- No. I said "devastating losses."
- What?
43
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:42,885
I told you not to put everything
you had into pornographic pogs.
44
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:45,366
But the children of the '90s
are all grown up.
45
00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:47,150
Naturally they'll now be
looking for pogs
46
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,891
with more
adult-oriented content.
47
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:51,198
I remember the words
"sure thing" being said.
48
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:54,026
By you.
I begged you not to do it.
49
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,419
Okay, give it to me straight.
50
00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:56,681
How much have I lost?
51
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:57,813
Stan...
52
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,380
you're gonna lose the house.
53
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:01,904
No one must know.
54
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:05,255
No one must know
that anything is wrong.
55
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,692
Porn pogs must've gone tits up.
56
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,529
I don't think he's coming down.
57
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:22,054
Ah, shizballs, I gotta scoot.
58
00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:24,796
Here, can you stick this
on Dad's back for me?
59
00:02:25,841 --> 00:02:26,885
For your trouble.
60
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,890
Since when does Hayley
have a bleeper?
61
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:34,110
Are you trying to say "beeper"?
62
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:36,895
Where the hell is this guy?
63
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,897
I got shit I gotta do.
64
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:43,902
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
65
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,819
No one must know.
66
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:50,300
No one must know that
I've bankrupted the family.
67
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,259
You've bankrupted the what now?
68
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,086
Probably shoulda done this
in the bathroom.
69
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,958
You heard nothing.
70
00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:58,178
Looks like you're gonna
have to find us
71
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,788
some money fast, Francine.
72
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:02,269
One more thing to worry about.
73
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,879
What else is weighing on you?
74
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:05,881
Those chimpanzees in the news,
75
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,622
that've been stepping
on landmines
76
00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,363
and losing their limbs?
77
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,451
The chimp-u-tees?
78
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,104
No, it's Hayley.
79
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:14,324
Klaus, I think she might be...
80
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,412
dealing.
81
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:16,631
Pai Gow?
82
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:17,545
Drugs.
83
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,808
Cool.
But no way.
84
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:22,463
Hayley's a drug doer,
not a drug dealer.
85
00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:24,813
Oh, yeah?
What about the money,
86
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,859
the secretiveness,
the bleeper...
87
00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:30,601
Sometimes I feel like
I don't know her at all.
88
00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,951
It's not like it was
when she was little.
89
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:36,128
We were two peas in a pod
back then.
90
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:37,826
Inseparable.
91
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:41,482
And everywhere we went people
just ate us right up, too.
92
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:44,267
You've heard the term
"daughter-mama-charm-a-rama"?
93
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,790
No, never.
94
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:48,271
Well, we were a mega
daughter-mama-charm-a-rama.
95
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:49,446
Oh, well, that I've heard.
96
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,448
But that was when she was a kid.
97
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:54,756
Now, honestly, God knows
what she could be up to.
98
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,323
Why would you put this in here?
99
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,673
- Whatcha doing?
- Nothing.
100
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:01,328
Say, what's in the duffel bag?
101
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:04,156
Nothing.
Gotta go.
102
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:06,637
You've been making
that face a lot lately.
103
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:09,205
- Mm. Like this.
- Mm.
104
00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:10,685
This face. Mm.
105
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:15,298
I've ruined us, Roger.
106
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:18,170
All our money,
our iconic house, gone.
107
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,608
Oh, so you need to pick up
a little extra scratch?
108
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:21,826
Funky frog-skins?
109
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,828
A little zip-a-dee-moo-lah?
110
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:26,918
'Scuse me one sec.
111
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,225
You.
Don't move.
112
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:31,836
Rugged despair,
salt-and-pepper stubble,
113
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,142
Buzz Lightyear chin...
114
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,883
Why are you wearing
a garbage bag?
115
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:37,015
I didn't bring a costume with me
so I had to make do
116
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,191
with what I could find
in the bathroom trash can.
117
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:43,065
Giardia Capitosto, Web Ad
Stock Photo Talent Manager.
118
00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,893
The internet needs handsome,
119
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,721
graying,
worried faces like yours.
120
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:51,116
Erectile dysfunction, reverse
mortgages, 401k mismanagement...
121
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,728
from now on, you could be
the face of them all.
122
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,904
- Is there money in that?
- I think so?
123
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:58,820
All I know is
you've got it, kid,
124
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,865
and I'm gonna put you
in the pictures.
125
00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,650
The little pictures
at the bottom of the screen
126
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,478
on Barstool Sports.
127
00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:21,103
What the hell are you doing
in that bush?
128
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:25,063
If you must know,
I am trying to sneak into
129
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,762
my ex-boyfriend's apartment.
130
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:28,850
Sheila?
131
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,374
Oh, great.
132
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,640
- Aah!
- The jib is up.
133
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,555
I know you've been pushing...
134
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:42,342
...arthritis medication?
135
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,344
It's true.
These last few months
136
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,825
I've had a secret side hustle
going as a...
137
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:49,610
pharmaceutical representative.
138
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:53,265
So that's how you've been
making all that extra money?
139
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:55,920
Pushing pills for Big Pharma.
140
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,619
Mom, I am begging you
to keep this secret.
141
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,751
If anyone at the Groff
Progressives found out...
142
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:03,450
Oh, I'll keep it secret, alright.
143
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,930
Secret like a fox.
144
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,410
- What does that...
- I want in.
145
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,412
I want to push pills
for Big Pharma, too.
146
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:16,854
Isn't this whole Pharma rep
thing a little shady, though?
147
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:19,727
Buttering up a bunch
of pervy old doctors to...
148
00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:22,556
Informing a bunch
of pervy old doctors,
149
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,035
about a miracle arthritis drug
150
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,298
that really will help
so many people.
151
00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:28,779
Hey, if I ever found out
Bendjuvanex wasn't all
152
00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:30,999
it's cracked up to be,
I would quit like that.
153
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,914
But this drug is the real deal.
154
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,699
Derived from armadillo mucin
humanely harvested
155
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:38,093
from the best-treated armadillos
in the world.
156
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,703
Plus, it's been a great way
157
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:42,010
to make a little
extra scratch, ya know?
158
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,099
That light-green good-good.
159
00:06:46,144 --> 00:06:48,669
Our scientists start
with the best part
160
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:50,453
of the armadillo, the mucin.
161
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:53,282
And through a proprietary
extraction technology
162
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:56,633
yield an efficacy rate
of 42% over placebo...
163
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:57,895
...with a Bayesian
credible interval
164
00:06:57,895 --> 00:07:01,377
of .52 to 1.39.
165
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:04,424
Alleviation of arthritic
immobility reaches
166
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,251
39% and 47%...
167
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,775
over leading generic therapies
168
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:09,298
at initial dosages...
169
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:12,606
...of 200 and 400 milligrams respectively.
170
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:15,391
Other compelling numbers
include 27,
171
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:18,002
7,000, 70,000...
172
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,397
Okay, thanks so much,
173
00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:23,268
but I think I'll just
stick with generics.
174
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:24,835
Have a blessed day.
175
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,794
Another bust.
176
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:30,101
The commissions came so easy
at first, but lately...
177
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,973
Maybe it's time
to just hang it up.
178
00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:35,150
Or maybe we just need to
jazz up our pitch a little...
179
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,979
Mom, I've been doing this
a while now, okay?
180
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:40,547
This is how we do it.
181
00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,422
Alright, sugar dumpling,
182
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,642
now, y'all don't forget
your chip clips
183
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:51,166
and your pen-
flashlight-thumbdrive.
184
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,646
Oh, sweet.
185
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,431
And I'll be in touch
with those Shark tickets, too.
186
00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:59,000
Do you come with the tickets?
187
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,002
Listen, y'all keep
those prescriptions
188
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:04,222
a-scribble-dibble-doodlin',
and I just might.
189
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,572
Kidding not kidding.
190
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,182
Oh, I will.
191
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,618
Also kidding.
192
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,968
I'm not kidding.
193
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,496
There he is.
194
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,020
My worried web ad Adonis.
195
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,457
So rugged.
So handsome.
196
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,850
So haunted.
197
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:24,329
Brian, your KFC Famous Bowl
is here.
198
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,984
- Don't move a muscle.
- Bubbeleh, amazing news.
199
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:29,509
We already have another
10 gigs lined up.
200
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,685
Your money troubles are finito.
201
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,948
Ah. Oh, my God,
thank you, Roger.
202
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,515
Giardia Something-Something.
203
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,125
This is such a relief.
204
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,388
Now, you've just taken out
a reverse mortgage,
205
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:41,999
and you're rocked
to your very core
206
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:45,350
contemplating
the unforeseen risks.
207
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,528
No, no, no, no, no, no.
208
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:52,270
What the... You, trash woman,
over here.
209
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:53,707
- What's up?
- What happened?
210
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:54,882
- He's lost the look.
- The what?
211
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,884
The look. Look.
212
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,842
Just look at him.
213
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,017
Oh, yeah.
214
00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:01,584
God, he sucks.
215
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:02,977
Where's the concern?
216
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:05,675
The stunned, grave,
soul-piercing worry?
217
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,503
It's not there.
He's =BLEEP= it up.
218
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:10,071
- I got this.
- What's up. Everything good?
219
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,247
Hmm, you know, on the set
of "The Exorcist,"
220
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,510
Billy Friedkin once
slapped an actor
221
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:17,078
to get the stunned,
haunted look he needed.
222
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,080
Well, that's a really
interesting bit of movie trivia.
223
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,038
- Thanks for...
- There it is. Go, go, go.
224
00:09:23,954 --> 00:09:25,608
- Hayley, listen!
- Aah!
225
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:29,786
Sorry. Look, I know you wanna
stick to facts and figures,
226
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,701
but if we're gonna keep
this gig goin'
227
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:35,749
and the money a-flowin',
we have to change things up.
228
00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:37,925
Okay, well, just how, exactly?
229
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:40,667
By focusing on the four S's...
230
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:44,453
sex, sass, and swag.
231
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:46,760
That's three.
232
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:47,891
What's the fourth "S"?
233
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,284
It's "us."
234
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:51,416
The "S" is at the end
of that one.
235
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,593
Us.
You and me.
236
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,465
The daughter-mama-charm-a-rama.
237
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:58,598
Trust me.
238
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,905
This is how we do it.
239
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,864
♪ This is how we do it ♪
240
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:06,518
♪ Sha, la, la,
la, la, la, lo ♪
241
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,303
♪ This is how we do it ♪
242
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:11,785
♪ Sha, la, la,
la, la, la, lo ♪
243
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,787
Okay, I'll do anything you want.
244
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,136
Just give it to me.
245
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:17,660
♪ This is how we do it ♪
246
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:20,358
♪ I'll never come wack
on an old-school track ♪
247
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,317
♪ This is
how we do it ♪
248
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,928
♪ I'm kinda buzzed,
it's all because ♪
249
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,451
♪ This is how we do it ♪
250
00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:29,193
♪ South Central does it
like nobody does ♪
251
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,326
♪ This is how we do it ♪
252
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:34,808
♪ Oh, it's party time ♪
253
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,636
♪ This is how we do it ♪
254
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,899
♪ Straight up comin'
from the West Side ♪
255
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:41,336
♪ This is how we do it ♪
256
00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:43,643
♪ OG's got the flavor, yeah ♪
257
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,383
♪ This is how we do it ♪
258
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,039
Hmm, the broad's got
the right look,
259
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:50,345
but your boy...
260
00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:51,825
On it.
261
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:54,001
And this is how we do it.
262
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,090
- Who are you talking to?
- Anyone who'll listen.
263
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,613
♪ This is how we do it ♪
264
00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,834
♪ South Central does it
like nobody does ♪
265
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,444
♪ This is how we do it ♪
266
00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:05,360
♪ To all my neighbors
you got much flavor ♪
267
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,144
♪ This is how we do it ♪
268
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:10,104
♪ I'll never come wack
on an old-school track ♪
269
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,627
♪ This is how we do it ♪
270
00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:14,064
♪ I'm kinda buzzed,
it's all because ♪
271
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:15,587
♪ This is how we... ♪
272
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,372
Have we made enough money
to save the house yet?
273
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:18,678
Not quite, love.
274
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,157
But never fear.
275
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:22,551
Because you're moving up
to the big leagues...
276
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:27,295
a live-action TV commercial
for, wait for it, Bendjuvanex.
277
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:30,428
One last big slap, and
your money troubles are finito.
278
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:33,605
Whaddya say we go to BJ's
and celebrate with a Pizookie?
279
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,042
One more big slap,
280
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:37,479
and your troubles
could be just beginning.
281
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,133
Oh, right,
I forgot we were here.
282
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,309
All those slaps have left
your face as fragile
283
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:45,705
as a gossamer veil of ice
atop a springtime lagoon.
284
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,402
My God, that's...
285
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,360
a beautiful description.
286
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,754
The point is, even one more slap
287
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,843
to Stan's bullshit face bones
288
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:55,062
and he risks...
289
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,891
a full facial cave-in.
290
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,460
I still wanna get a Pizookie.
291
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:09,598
I give you
our new top regional reps,
292
00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,731
Hayley and Francine Smith,
293
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,517
who will be receiving
a hefty bonus and the honor
294
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:20,087
of driving
the Bendjuvanex Pillmobile.
295
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:26,267
I couldn'a done it without ya.
296
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,486
So here's to you, Big Mama.
297
00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:31,620
Nah, nah, nah,
Little Mama. To us.
298
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,101
I couldn't've done it
without you either.
299
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,233
No us?
No magic.
300
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,800
And no magic...
301
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,541
no mona-a-a-y.
302
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:44,502
Aight, I gotta use
the little reps' room.
303
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:52,946
Congra-a-a-a-tulations
to the big hero.
304
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:54,121
You wanna go, brah?
305
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,513
What's your problem, chief?
306
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:58,603
Our problem is Bendjuvanex.
307
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:01,868
I was the lead scientist
who developed it.
308
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,740
And this miracle drug
that I made,
309
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,307
and that you're selling...
310
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:08,875
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
311
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,137
Oh, no.
312
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,225
Does it not work?
313
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,966
What?
It works great.
314
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,489
I take it myself.
315
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:19,363
In fact, it works too great.
316
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:22,105
The clinical trials all went
so well at first.
317
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:25,369
The subjects' arthritis
improved rapidly.
318
00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:29,547
But soon, after ingesting
all that damn mucin,
319
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:33,160
they must've built up so many
armadillo pheromones that...
320
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,378
they began to attract...
321
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,164
...predators.
322
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:39,340
First came the coyotes.
323
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,211
Our headquarters was
right next to a desert.
324
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,431
Then the bears, owls,
325
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:47,043
red-tailed hawks,
a few Komodo dragons.
326
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,698
94% of the non-control group
327
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:53,267
was killed
by armadillo predators.
328
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,138
Well, that was in a lab setting.
329
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:57,184
We don't know
it'll translate to...
330
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,402
Yes, we do!
331
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,883
And we covered it up!
332
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:06,367
God knows what we're
unleashing on the world!
333
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:08,369
Shame on all of us!
334
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:12,503
I didn't get to finish
my negroni!
335
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:13,591
Hey.
336
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,593
Did I miss anything?
337
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:18,858
Nope. In fact, you're
getting half a negroni.
338
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:24,037
Make sure you got
the Bendjuvanex barbecue set.
339
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:27,040
The doc we're seeing here
is a total swag hag.
340
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:32,088
Hey, you can't park that there!
341
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:35,396
It's okay!
We're top regional reps!
342
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,528
His office is
just through the E.R.
343
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,884
Another coyote bite here.
344
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:48,322
Komodo dragon just tore through
the Ruby Tuesday's on Sixth.
345
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:50,237
- Incoming!
- Coyotes?
346
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,935
Komodo...
What the hell is going on?
347
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,763
I have no idea.
348
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:57,113
Oh, don't you?
349
00:14:57,113 --> 00:15:00,116
This is exactly what I warned
you would happen.
350
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,075
Mom, what's this guy
talking about?
351
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:04,816
I'm talking about Bendjuvanex.
352
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:06,862
They knew this would happen.
353
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:09,343
They knew
and they covered it up.
354
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,084
And so did she.
355
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:13,434
- Wha... I...
- Bear!
356
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,829
Oh, God, what have we done?
357
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,570
So this is true?
358
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,442
And you...
knew?
359
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:23,661
I...didn't know
for sure that...
360
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,620
And you let me go out there
with you,
361
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,970
pushing this death drug
onto people?
362
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:31,104
- I just... I needed...
- You needed what?
363
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:32,757
A little extra scratch?
364
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:33,976
How could you?
365
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,936
I... I never want
to speak to you again.
366
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:39,808
Can you do me a solid?
367
00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:43,159
Check out my toe tag.
Tell me what it says?
368
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:45,161
Please, please, please,
please, please, please, please.
369
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,294
"Goner."
370
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:49,818
Are you sure you want me
to slap you, Stan?
371
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:52,255
If you care to remember,
your face might cave in.
372
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:53,778
I'm afraid we have no choice.
373
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,476
It's a risk
I'll just have to take.
374
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:58,348
I needs dem clams.
375
00:15:58,348 --> 00:16:03,179
Whoa. Now, that's what I call
grave, soul-piercing worry.
376
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:04,615
Stan.
Lock that in.
377
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,400
You got back the look.
It's a miracle.
378
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,924
What the... What...
What the hell is this?
379
00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:10,926
Weren't you just a photographer
a few weeks ago?
380
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:13,581
Yeah, my career
has advanced, too.
381
00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:14,843
I'm a director now.
382
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,976
But this is
an "after" commercial.
383
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,327
After the drug has given him
a new lease on life.
384
00:16:20,327 --> 00:16:22,938
I need ease, contentment, joy.
385
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,505
Quick, Stan, smile.
386
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:26,333
I...
387
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:27,856
I can't.
I'm locked in here.
388
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,379
Oh, God, oh, God,
oh, God, oh, God.
389
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:30,728
Roger, slap me.
390
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,513
If you could slap worry
onto my face,
391
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:34,167
just maybe you can slap it...
392
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,088
♪ Bendjuvanex ♪
393
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:45,656
Look forward again
to the free time,
394
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:49,225
the quality time,
395
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,575
the good times.
396
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,187
Bendjuvanex.
397
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,189
Look forward again...
398
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,713
to what's around the bend.
399
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:02,804
♪ Bend, bend,
Bendjuvanex ♪
400
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,675
Side effects,
while rare, may include hypoxia,
401
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:06,721
hypothermia, heart
palpitations, hyperhydrosis,
402
00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:09,245
hydrohyposis, encephalitis,
elephantitis, and weeping anus.
403
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:10,725
If you experience weeping anus
that lasts longer
404
00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:12,335
than 24 hours,
that's a bad sign.
405
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,424
If while taking the drug
you see any coyotes, bears,
406
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:16,905
owls, Komodo dragons or various
desert raptors lurking nearby,
407
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:19,212
don't worry about it. It's
probably just your imagination.
408
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,909
♪ Bendjuvan... ♪
409
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:24,086
They're still covering it all up
and selling the damn stuff.
410
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,566
Sorry, what?
411
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:26,915
No one's been keeping me
in the loop on this one.
412
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:29,091
You were, dealing Pai Gow
or something?
413
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:34,357
- This a religious thing?
- No.
414
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:37,317
I'm here on behalf
of Bobo's Promise,
415
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,536
the chimp-u-tee char-i-tee?
416
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:41,495
Are you Francine Smith?
417
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,366
=BLEEP= no.
418
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:46,804
Oh, well, we're here
to thank her
419
00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,850
for the generous
weekly donations
420
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,112
of $10,000
421
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,983
she's been making
for the past two months.
422
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:54,203
Wait, that would've been
her entire share
423
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:57,380
of everything we made,
from the very start...
424
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,903
"Made."
425
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:01,950
So that means
there's no more money?
426
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:05,084
Ah, crap, I'm selling this thing
for scrap metal, then.
427
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,087
See ya.
Wouldn't wanna be ya, Bobo.
428
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,186
So you didn't do it
for the money?
429
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,317
No.
430
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:23,319
I knew your dad
was taking care of that.
431
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:26,366
I mean, his face is all over
the dang internet.
432
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:29,586
The money...
was always just an excuse.
433
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:32,154
- For what?
- To hang out with you.
434
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:34,504
Like we did
when you were little.
435
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:38,029
That's why I didn't tell you
when I found out about the drug.
436
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:40,815
I just didn't want it to end.
437
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,643
I'm sorry, kiddo.
438
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,646
Now, come on.
Let's go =BLEEP=
439
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:48,083
that =BLEEP= pharmaceutical
company's shit
440
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,216
right up in the =BLEEP= face.
441
00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:56,352
Alright, we go in
through the vents,
442
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,875
make our way to the C-suite,
443
00:18:57,875 --> 00:19:00,443
download the secret
animal attack data,
444
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:02,184
and get it to the press.
445
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,881
Why'd you bring
the t-shirt cannon?
446
00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:05,448
Case we run into any trouble.
447
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:19,767
Got it.
448
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:25,251
Hand it over, ladies.
449
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,082
Quick, Hayley.
450
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:32,649
Charm him.
451
00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:36,784
You think you can tug
452
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,525
at my heartstrings?
453
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,918
I'm a pharmaceutical executive.
454
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,920
I don't have any.
455
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:46,881
Run!
456
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,856
Gotcha.
457
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:07,249
Hey. Skinko.
458
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:10,383
Time to take your medicine.
459
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:13,777
Oh, no.
460
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,479
Mr. Skinko, coyotes have
461
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,829
breached the perimeter
and are in the vents.
462
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,140
Armadillo tuck.
463
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,189
You know, we should
do this more often.
464
00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:37,192
Hang out, that is,
not, you know, this.
465
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:49,160
Now, that's what I call
a little extra scratch.
466
00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:51,511
Let's get outta here.
467
00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:53,513
This is actually
pretty gruesome.
468
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:58,344
Bye. Have a great time.
33737
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