All language subtitles for 07 - The Superfluous Finger

[Door closes]

Who's there?

It's your niece, Sir Hector.

Ha!

Mm.

When's dinner, Sterling?
I'm getting peckish.

Would 15 minutes do, sir?

Well, I suppose it'll have to,
won't it?

Very good, sir.

Sterling by name,
sterling by nature.

- His wife can't cook for toffee.
-[ Door closes]

So let's have a look at you.

Uh, well...

I suppose as women go,
you're not bad-looking.

Seen 'round the estates,
have you?

Yes.

Oh, I will say,
you don't chatter on like some.

What do you think
of your ancestors?

Bloodthirsty-looking
lot of ruffians.

Mad as March hares,
most of them.

Some say I am.

[ sniffs 1

What do you think?

Ah. Wise girl.

Who's to know who's sane?

Mind you, the family have known
hard times.

Not all beer and skittles,
estates and titles.

Now you see 'em, now you don't.

Take him.
The first baronet's father.

Queen Elizabeth's favorite.
Didn't return the compliment.

Worse, fell for one of
her chambermaids.

That put paid to him.

Yes, we seem to have a habit
of backing the wrong side.

Held out for Charles I.

Drawn and quartered.

Son switched to Cromwell.

Precipitated the Restoration,
if you ask me.

The baronetcy wasn't restored
till Blenheim.

And all the credit
went to Marlborough!

Ah, but we know better.

Never mind the history books.
It's all here.

Malplaquet was won by Drummond!

The nation didn't build him
a palace.

Typical.

Soldiers, sailors, statesmen.

Man and boy,
we've served for centuries.

No money in it.

Estates steadily going
to rack and ruin.

Father, he fought a duel
to save them.

Won it too.

The shock killed him.

And there's a moral in that.
Look after number one.

[ sniffs 1

Have you -- Have you
ever handled one of these?

Oh, there's nothing to it.
See?

Bit of an accident, Sterling.

Have you killed her?

I don't know.
Looks like it.

Ah.
Must have been loaded.

Still, it'll teach them
to come sniffing 'round

before I'm underground.

In late Victorian times
there lived many detectives --

the rivals
of Sherlock Homes.

The forefinger.

I should like it amputated
at the second joint, please.

Amputa--

Amputated?

I'm told you are
a skillful surgeon.

Perhaps the best in London.

And the cost of the operation
is immaterial.

- What's the matter with it?
-Nothing.

I merely wanted it removed
from the second joint.

- Why?
-Oh, that I can't tell you.

And there's no reason
that I should.

You are a surgeon.
I want an operation performed.

You must understand, Miss...
Miss?

I could give you a name,
but it wouldn't be my own.

So, what's the point?

I'm a surgeon, not a tradesman.

And the point is that surgery
is a profession

for the relief of suffering,
not for willful mutilation.

Aren't you being rather pompous?

If I wish to submit to --

to willful mutilation,
as you put it,

surely that is my affair.

There is no necessity
to remove that finger.

To do so would be quite
unethical, not to say criminal.

Shall we say 200 guineas?

I wouldn't do it
for 500 guineas.

1,000, then.

I don't think
you quite understood.

I will not perform
an unnecessary operation.

Money does not come into it.

-It is necessary.
-Why?

- Won't you take my word for it?
-No.

Not without some
supporting medical evidence.

Such as?

Well, if it were...

if it were diseased or...

But it's not.
You say so yourself.

Very well.

Suppose I were to come to you
with it irreparably damaged.

You would be bound to dress
the wound, then, wouldn't you?

Oh, yes, of course.

And make
any necessary amputation.

That is purely academic.

You haven't answered
my question.

There are people waiting
who need my services.

I have neither the time

nor the inclination
to discuss hypotheses.

I need to know.

I wish to have nothing further
to do with the matter.

Miss Jones?

But you would dress the wound,
wouldn't you?

You will excuse me.

Miss Jones, will you kindly
see this lady out?

And send the next patient in,
please.

- This way.
-Well, we shall see.

- Good day to you.
-Sir Tobias.

[Sighs]

[Bell chiming]

WOMAN: Aaaah!

[ Indistinct talking]

JONES: Thank you.

Oh!

L-I showed her out.

As I closed the door,

she turned and quite
deliberately put her finger --

Yes.
All right. All right.

Will you help me to get her into
the consulting room, please?

Thank you.

Can you manage?

Uh, Miss Jones,

would you call
Professor Van Dusen?

Ask him if he'd be kind enough

to come over here
as soon as he can.

Yes, sir.

[Door closes]

[Clock ticking]

[ Door opens ]

Good.

[Sighs]

Would you have operated

if she hadn't injured herself
on the premises?

No.

Uh, she's, um, sane, presumably?

Well, she would appear to be so.

Mm.

What do you make of it?

- Hers?
-Yes.

Did you happen
to see her remove it?

Yes, I did.

Well, she was
certainly determined

to have that finger off.

The question is, why?

Uh, one can only conjecture,

if it's a matter
of any importance to you.

I have been trapped

into performing
an unnecessary operation.

Now, ethically,
that's bad enough.

But suppose her motives
are criminal.

- They will emerge in time.
-Yes, during which time --

You will have to curb
your imagination.

While you give yours rein
and do precisely nothing.

You sent for me.

I'd forgotten
how infuriating you can be.

You malign me.

Rather than waste my time
in idle speculation,

I apply myself to the facts.

Now, firstly, the lady has
recently returned from America.

From America?

Yes.

Her gloves, hat, handbag,
and boots

were all
recently purchased there.

All right.
All right, I'll give you that.

And what's your second fact?

It's of no consequence,
uh, for the moment.

If I didn't know you --

Ah, but you do.
May I use your telephone?

Please do.

You are too kind.

Be so good as to put me through

to the offices of
the Daily Recorder, would you?

Yes.
Mr. Roderick Varley.

Ugh.
Your reporter friend.

My occasional acquaintance
and longtime associate.

I have very few friends.

That I can well understand.

It's a curious irony

that those who call upon
my services

so frequently resent them

hardly less than those
upon whom they are exercised.

Professor Van Dusen.

If you would take people
a little more into your confi--

I should only delay myself
and not greatly enlighten them.

Ah. Varley.

Now, I'm with
Sir Tobias Prescott.

Yes.
The surgeon.

At his Harley Square
consulting room.

Yes, now,
he has a little problem.

It might be
to our mutual advantage

to cooperate in solving it.

Can you come 'round?

What?

Well, yours and mine, of course.

Good.

Number 5.

Then I'll see you shortly.

And what form
will this cooperation take?

Oh, the usual.
His legs and my brain.

- May one inquire to what end?
-By all means.

But, uh, first I should
like to learn

a little more
about your patient.

- Why don't you ask her?
-What did she tell you?

- Nothing.
-Precisely.

So if she refused to say
anything before the operation,

she's hardly like to do so
now it's done.

Upon my soul, Van Dusen, you can
be the most exasperating of men.

Do you want me to withdraw
from the case?

No.

Then you will kindly allow me
to handle it as I see fit.

Oh, very well.

All the same, you might take me
a little into your confidence.

Don't let me distract you
from your duties.

- What?
-Your patient.

I think
she's coming 'round again.

[Sighs]

Who's this?

Professor Van Dusen.
I was about to say "a friend."

An acquaintance.
A sometime colleague of mine.

- WOMAN: Oh.
-How are you feeling?

Better, thank you.

I'm sorry to have been
such a nuisance,

fainting and everything.

It was the shock, I think.

Yes.
What on earth possessed you?

I'm sorry?

Oh, come, come, Miss...
Missus...

Whoever you are.

I refuse to operate.

You promptly mangle yourself

so that I have no alternative
but to repair the damage,

thereby doing
exactly what you wanted.

Now, the very least you owe me
is an explanation.

How can you say such things?

And what is your account?

Well, I consulted you

about the numbness I had
experienced in this finger.

You were kind enough
to reassure me.

As I left, I was clumsy,
and I shut it in your door.

The next thing I knew, I...

I do see it must be
most inconvenient for you.

But to accuse me
of having done it on purpose,

it's -- it's too cruel.

I see.
So you're calling me a liar.

[ Sighs ]
One of us must be at fault

for such a horrid
misunderstanding to have arisen.

That's a fact.

But would anyone
in their right mind --

least of all, a woman --

deliberately
mutilate themselves?

I ask you.

Forgive me.
One moment.

Uh, uh...

Now, let me remind you,
young lady --

No.
Let me remind you.

I have common sense on my side,

and it is your word
against mine.

Now, how much do I owe you?

Nothing.

As you wish.

Then perhaps you will be
kind enough to call me a cab.

You are in no fit state
to travel.

I'm certainly in no fit state to
stay here and be abused by you.

Oh.

Very well.

Here.
Drink this.

Drink it.

I wish I knew
what you were up to.

Now, stay there.
I'll get you a cab.

[ Door opens ]

[Hooves clopping]

Is that her?

Right.
Off you go, Varley.

Well.

Well, a little cup of coffee
wouldn't come amiss.

VARLEY: At first I thought she
was traveling towards Bayswater.

But after a while
her cab stopped

and then started off
in another direction --

I think possibly
because she suspected

that she might be followed.

Finally, she seemed
to be making towards Chelsea.

It had grown darker
and begun to rain

when we went
along the King's Road,

turned off towards the river.

She obviously hadn't realized
that I had followed so closely.

And when she stopped
at a block of mansion flats,

we were able to drive past
and halt on the corner

without attracting
any attention.

From the way in which the lady
was greeted by the porter,

I thought she could only be
a frequent visitor

or, more likely, a resident.

[Hooves clopping]

And when the porter
paid off her cab

and followed her into the flats,

I thought I might
investigate further.

I paid my driver --
I have the amount noted down --

and approached the flats.

Fortunately, the, uh, porter
was a friendly soul

and offered me
the shelter of his umbrella.

We exchanged pleasantries.

I told him I was a journalist

and, uh [Clears throat]
gave him a large tip.

He was very forthcoming.

A few shrewd questions

elicited that the suspect
was a Mrs. John Smith.

Ah. Now there's a rare
and unusual name.

She arrived here last Tuesday --
today being Friday --

with her husband.

- Her husband?
-Oh, yes. She was married.

They rented a furnished
apartment for three months.

- At what rent?
-£100 a month.

That's not cheap.

No more was the fee
she was offering you.

The John Smiths are evidently
playing for high stakes.

VARLEY:
I was about to leave

when the suspect came down again
in the lift.

Now, she'd changed
her hat and clothing.

VAN DUSEN:
Extraordinary.

How long after she'd entered
the block?

VARLEY: Uh, 15 minutes.
Certainly no more.

VAN DUSEN: Amazing fortitude
under the circumstances.

But do go on.

VARLEY: She went out.

I debated whether to follow
but decided against it

because I knew now where
to find her if I wanted her.

I further questioned the porter
and discovered, to my surprise,

that Mr. and Mrs. Smith
had arrived from America.

However, none of the steamers

that arrived from America
last Tuesday

had a Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
as passengers.

VAN DUSEN:
You amaze me.

After sundry disbursements,
of which I have note...

- No doubt.
-...and, I might add,

a great deal of tenacity
and hard work,

I managed to discover

that one of the steamers
that arrived last Tuesday

had a certain Mr. and Mrs.
Chevedon Morey aboard.

And Mrs. Morey
bore a striking resemblance

to the lady posing
as Mrs. John Smith.

Right down to the dress she was
wearing when she left here.

And where, exactly,
does that get us?

To the fact that we are dealing
with a woman

of extraordinary determination.

Mrs. Morey?

Oh, I think we can safely assume
that their name's not Smith.

You say she changed her dress

and came out again
shortly after returning home?

VARLEY: Yes.

When she left here, she was
so ill and weak from shock

she could hardly stand.

VAN DUSEN: Just so.

So I think
we can also safely assume

that the matter is one
of a certain importance to her.

In what way important?

It seems that
we're likely to find out

sooner than I anticipated.

In the nature of the case,

I wouldn't have expected
any particular developments,

oh, not for some months.

And the final development

should have arisen in America,
not here.

Strange.

Does he always talk in riddles?

More or less.

VAN DUSEN:
Only to the obtuse.

Now, what is the problem
from which we start?

Why was it necessary for her

to go to such lengths
to lose that finger?

Good.

And if we admit her sanity,
the answer cannot be far to see,

provided we use our brains.

- Well, you've lost me.
-And me.

Oh, well, never mind.

Was Mrs. Morey's hand bound up

in precisely the same way
when you saw her come out again?

She hardly had time
to change the dressing.

Ah ah ah ah.
Just the facts.

Yes.

No, come to think of it.

She was wearing a muff.

Oh.

I begin to think that this
is a case for Scotland Yard.

DR. PRESCOTT:
Then why don't we call them?

What, and lose
an exclusive story?

Now, don't let's be selfish.

[Laughs ] Oh, coming from you,
that's a trifle excessive.

What it is to inspire affection.

Still, it might be best
to learn a little more first.

Hmm. 9:00.

Now, Varley, why don't you call
upon the Moreys in the morning

and see what you can find out
about them?

- On what pretext?
-Oh, I leave it to you.

You can be quite ingenious
when you set your mind to it.

Good night to you.

Thank you very much.

And good night.

[ Doorbell rings]

Is anybody home?

[ Door opens ]

[Door closes]

Hello?

What did I tell you?

They can't keep away
from the scene of the crime.

What?

You are not obliged
to say anything,

but anything you do say
will be taken down

and may be used in evidence.

Ah, you see --

I'd shut up if I were you
and come along quietly.

Get hold of him, though,
just in case.

The door was open, and I...

Now, come on.
There's a sensible chap.

Now, let's go
and have a nice little chat

about the willful murder
of Mrs. John Smith, shall we?

Get him down to the station now.

You're making
a terrible mistake, you know?

Professor Van Dusen.

- Doctor...
-Mason.

Oh, Dr. Mason. I wondered what
the police were doing outside.

Uh, I was looking
for my associate.

Oh, dear, that wouldn't be...

Not unless you employ a lady.

That surprises me.

So soon.

- What?
-Oh, nothing. Poor woman.

And of course Varley
was coming here earlier.

- Varley, sir?
-Mm.

About 30.
Tall, with a dark mustache.

Calls himself a journalist.

Most graphic, officer.
Well done.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Uh, Sergeant Mallory picked him
up a couple of hours ago, sir.

He...picked him up?

Suspicion of murder, sir.

He was found in here
with the body.

Varley must have hidden depth
I never suspected.

You're taking it
devilishly calmly.

Oh, well, you know,
I've always felt that death

was fairly final.

I mean,
if I were to have hysterics,

it wouldn't help Varley,
would it,

much less revive
the wretched woman?

I think a certain respect

under the present circumstances
would be in order.

Yes.

But, of course, you're more
involved than I am, aren't you?

What would you estimate
the time of death to have been?

I'm not sure I should tell you.

Oh, come. It can't be kept
a secret forever.

Where's the harm in divulging it
to a fellow professional?

Oh, very well.

I'd put the time of death

at somewhere between
6:00 and 7:00 last evening.

But before 9:00, at all events?

Without question.

And the, um, cause of death?

Well, I will, if I must,
go down on bended knee.

Strangulation.

What can I do for you, sir?

- Accept my deepest sympathies.
-What?

Only the keepers
of the nation's conscience

could possibly work in such
insalubrious surroundings.

Now, can you tell me where I can
find Detective Sergeant Mallory?

He's interviewing a suspect.

I asked you where he was.

I'm well aware
of what he's doing. Ah.

Hey, just a minute!
You can't just walk in!

Perfectly all right, Sergeant.

Good morning, Varley.
How are you?

He just marched past!

Back to your desk.
There's a good fellow.

Wait a minute.

Now, you'll be Detective
Sergeant Mallory, I take it.

Never mind who I am.

Who the hell
do you think you are?

Professor Van Dusen.
Augustus Van Dusen.

And what the devil do you mean
by barging in here like this?!

Uh, we, uh -- We work together.

Oh! So you're in this together,
are you?

Uh, yes and no.

Don't you fence with me.

That, my dear sergeant,

would argue a degree
of expertise

not compatible
by the present circumstances.

Sit down, Varley.

You don't appear to understand
the gravity of the situation.

Oh, indeed?

I repaired to certain premises

on receiving reports
of foul play.

And there you found
that the victim had passed on.

This is no joking matter.

Murder seldom is, Sergeant.

But your present absurd position
could be.

Absurd, is it?

How did your accomplice
come to be there?

The door was open.

Give him rope, Varley.
Give him rope.

He's near enough
to hanging himself.

How do you account for the fact

that his fingerprints
were all over the place?

Fingerprints?

I say.
They do move with the times.

I found him bending over
a brutally murdered woman.

Sergeant, you must indeed
be hard-pressed

to grasp at straws
quite so improbably thin.

- I'll deal with you later.
-You'll deal with me now.

What?

Unless, of course, you want to
face a charge of false arrest.

What's that?

Were you detained, Varley?

In a manner of speaking, yes.

You didn't ask to stay.

- Not exactly, no.
-No.

Well, even the police
haven't the right

to deprive a man of his liberty

unless they can
reasonably suspect him

of having committed a crime
or of being about to commit one.

I already told you
the reasons of my suspicion.

And I have just returned
from the scene of the crime.

The police doctor
sets the time of death

at between 6:00 and 7:00
last evening.

Well?

Mr. Varley was with me
until 9100...

Oh, you'll need
to do better than that.

...and, uh, a third party,

to whom even you
Will find difficulty

in attributing means and motive,
much less opportunity.

Name?

Sir Tobias Prescott.
The, um, celebrated surgeon.

Oh. Address?

His consulting rooms
are at 5 Harley Square.

We'll check that.

Do it now.
He's on the telephone.

Keep an eye on him, Sergeant.

Poor fellow.

We're about to witness
the unedifying spectacle

of authority
compelled to eat its own words.

- Well, I hope you're right.
-Oh, of course I am.

Uh, take a seat, my good man.

He says his name is Van Dusen.

Van Dusen.

Oh?

Oh.

Oh.

And you are quite sure
that he and Mr. Varley

were with you until after 9:00?

Thank you very much, sir.

Yeah, all right, Sergeant.
Thank you.

Well, it seems I, uh,
owe you an apology, sir.

- If you insist.
-[ Door closes]

Aye, well, uh, if you would care
to collect your belongings, sir.

I'd be delighted.

I do have one or two little jobs
I have to be getting on with.

And now, Sergeant, perhaps you
and I could have a quiet word.

[Door closes]

I'm not quite clear, sir,
how you are concerned.

I was called in by Prescott.

Well, to cut a long story short,

a lady visited him yesterday
who declined to give her name,

and she wanted him to amputate
a perfectly healthy finger.

- What?
-Yes.

Well, when he refused,

she trapped him into doing so
by shutting it in the door,

damaging it to such an extent

that he was obliged
to amputate it.

A finger off?
What on earth for?

That was what Prescott
wanted to know.

Now, I sent Varley here
to find out who she was,

and he established that she was
a Mrs. Chevedon Morey.

Mrs. Chevedon Morey?

Yes. I think you will know
her better as Mrs. John Smith.

You mean the murdered woman?

Apparently.

My first thought was

that the amputation
might be the opening shot

in a fraudulent insurance claim.

But oh, no, no, no.

They were playing
for higher stakes than that.

They take an expensive flat.

Money was no object

when she was trying to persuade
Prescott to mutilate her.

In fact,
so much so that, frankly,

I didn't expect any developments
for some time.

The fact that she promptly
got herself murdered

made nonsense of my assumptions.

You arrested the wrong man,
but I, too, was at fault.

Well, that's a handsome
admission, sir.

No, no. I don't like it any
better than you do, Sergeant.

But perhaps
if we pool our resources,

we can salvage our reputations
and solve the crime.

Right.
What did you have in mind?

[ Chuckles ]

You know, you must have been
on pretty thin ice

to haul Varley in on
purely circumstantial evidence.

Well, uh, between ourselves,

there were a few,
uh, loose ends.

VAN DUSEN: I'm sure.

The night porter swore

that he saw them leave the block
late last night.

In fact, he called a cab
for them at 11:00 p.m.

After the woman was dead.

More than that, they told him

that they'd been called away
on business.

The manager found the body
this morning.

By which time a dead woman
had returned to a locked flat.

Without anybody seeing her
or her husband.

Unlikely, I think.

The porter and the manager --
Did you believe them?

No reason not to.

They were as shocked
as you'd expect them to be

under the circumstances.

But somebody must be lying.

Either that
or a number of people

have been
very skillfully mislead.

- I don't follow you.
-No?

Well, two and two make four,
Sergeant.

Not sometimes, but always.

But the facts don't tally.

Then the facts,
my dear Sergeant, must be wrong.

There's, uh -- There's this.

- Hmm?
-Here.

Oh.

"The wedding
of Mr. and Mrs. Chevedon Morey.

The bride wore..."

Hmm. Charming.

"She was given away by her
uncle, Sir Hector Drummond Bt.

Among the guests were --"

Wait a minute.

I seem to remember
something about him.

Hmm?

VARLEY: Yes.

Let's see, now.
Drummond, Drummond.

Oh, here we are.

Ah, 14th baronet.

Well, unmarried.
"Clubs -- The Eccentrics.

Address -- Drummond Hall,
near Fordingbridge, Hampshire.

No telephone."

That's right.
It's all coming back to me now.

Yes, he's reckoned
to be not quite all there.

He ran for Parliament on some
crackpot platform, I remember.

What was it, now?

Oh, yes -- Home Rule
for the Men of the New Forest.

Oh, how splendid.

Uh, oh, it should be in here.

Have a look.

Ah, here it is.

That's right, yes.

He had to withdraw
his candidature

for breaking up
his opponents' election meeting.

Ha.

He drove a pack of foxhounds

through the assembly hall
at Salisbury.

Oh, yes,
and that just about died down

when he had to retire
from the bench

for dispensing summary justice.

Apparently he produced
a shotgun in court

and peppered
some wretched poacher

that had been brought
before him.

A trifle eccentric.

He was a rotten shot,
luckily for all concerned.

Hmm.

Well, perhaps I'd better take
a change of armor.

You're not going down there.
What for?

I go where the scent
leads me, Varley.

Yes, but he doesn't sound
the sort of chap

that would
exactly welcome strangers.

Well, someone's got to tell him
his niece is dead.

[Bell chimes]

Yes?

My card.

I am acquainted
with Sir Hector's niece.

Oh, dear.

I would be grateful
if Sir Hector could spare me

a few moments of his time.

One moment, sir.

[Owl hooting]

[ Groaning ]

Oh, dear.

I'm sorry about this, sir.

Have you dined?

Yes, thank you.

I thought
a little reading matter

might help you
to while away the time, sir.

All this won't get you very far,
you know?

Oh?

A gentleman of the press
is aware that I called here.

When I don't return, he'll --
he'll institute inquiries.

Unfortunately, the matter
is out of my hands, sir.

But I'll see what I can do.

Yes.
I'd be obliged.

Morning tea at 8:00, sir.
Will that do?

Admirably.

With milk and sugar, sir?

Please.

I regret the newspapers do not
appear before midmorning, sir.

I suppose you realize that
you're working for a madman?

All too well, sir.
But it comes and goes.

The wife and I have been
with the family for many years.

It would be a great wrench
to seek a new position,

and they are hard to find.

Besides, Sir Hector can be
very charming.

Yes, I'll take your word
for that.

Thank you, sir.

May I bid you good night.

[Clicks tongue]

[Sighs]

[ Grunts ]

[Birds chirping]

[Bell chimes]

Ah!

Listen to this, Sterling.

"And the 10th baronet replied,

'If you think I'm gaga,
you should see the monarch.“

[ Laughs 1

George Ill, you see!

Agh!

No respecter of persons.
The Drummonds never have been.

There's another gentleman
to see you, sir.

Varley? Varley?
Who's he?

A gentleman of the press, sir.

Gentleman? That's no occupation
for gentlemen.

Journalists.
Muckrakers, the lot of them.

He's asking
for Professor Van Dusen, sir.

Never heard of him.
Get rid of the fellow.

Would that be wise, sir?

When snoopers come,

they come not single spies,
but in battalions,

to misquote the Bard, you mean?

Oh, very well.

Stick him in the dungeon.

I hardly think we want

the Commissioners in Lunacy
calling again, sir.

[ Chuckles ]
I should think not.

As daft a lot as ever I saw.

Perhaps we might stick them
in the dungeon, too, what?

Might become
a trifle overcrowded, sir.

Oh, very well.
[ Sniffs ]

Set a couple more places.
Send him in.

And fetch
that other fellow up too.

Might as well get quit
of the pair of them.

- Very good, sir.
-Ah.

I don't know about

an Englishman's castle
being his home.

Can't even read in peace
without hordes of strangers

trooping in and out
during mealtime.

STERLING:
Good morning, sir.

I trust you slept well.

Tolerably.

If you would care
to step this way, sir.

I'm happy to report

Sir Hector is more his
usual self this morning, sir.

I'm relieved to hear it.

He's expecting you to breakfast
with him in the library.

You and your
reporter friend, sir.

Sir Hector is too hospitable.

Ah.
You all right?

Why shouldn't he be?

I'll have you know
that a lot of care

when into building that place.

Ah.

We haven't met before, have we?

No.

- Drummond.
-Van Dusen.

I understand you two
know each other.

Well, that's all right, then.

- Will that be all, sir?
-Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Now, in the first place,
Sir Hector --

Breakfast?
I've had mine.

Eggs underdone.
Bacon overdone.

Toast burnt.
Tea like nothing on earth.

Still, the woman does her best.

We shall make the most of it.

Here about my niece, aren't you?

Well, it was bound to come up,
I suppose.

Well, in a nutshell,
this is what happened.

She asked herself to stay.

Now, when was it?
Let me see.

Must be two or three
years ago now.

Didn't welcome the idea.

I couldn't very well refuse,

seeing as how
she's going to inherit.

- Sir Hector --
-You eat. I'll do the talking.

Lose my train of thought.

It's apt to wander
at the best of times.

Now, where was I?
Ah!

Anyway, she came down here
to have a look around.

Damn cheek.

She might at least have waited
till I was dead

or, at any rate, dying.

Well, there you are.
[ Sniffs ]

Well, I showed her
the family portraits.

Told her a little bit
about the family history.

You know, she didn't utter.

Best thing about her, I thought.
Most women screech like peahens.

As a matter of fact,
I quite warmed to her.

[ sniffs 1

So I showed her
some of the family weapons,

the idea being that she should
learn to look after herself.

Nobody else does, do they?

I asked her
if she'd ever handled

one of these, and damn --

Huh.

Must have loaded
the damn thing again.

Well, no harm done.

Makes a change.

Oh, last time, stupid girl
got her finger in the way.

Blew the top of it clean off.
Blood all over the place.

You thought I'd killed her,
didn't you, Sterling?

- Yes, sir.
-Not a bit of it.

Ruined the carpet, though.

And you say
that this was three years ago?

Ohh, thereabouts.

I persuaded the family doctor
to hush the matter up, sir.

It was a nasty accident.
Most distressing.

But Sir Hector's niece
was not seriously harmed.

Are you sure
this was three years ago?

Are you calling me a liar?!
Agh!

Journalist gentleman, indeed.

I at least
must be sure about this.

It was three years ago, sir.

Thank you. Varley?

We will no longer trespass
on your hospitality.

- Good day.
-VARLEY: Good morning.

Extraordinary couple of fellows.
What was it all about?

I really couldn't say, sir.

Oh, well, good riddance
to the pair of them.

Had I better take charge
of that, sir?

Hmm?

We might not be so fortunate

should you happen to forget
you loaded it a third time, sir.

[ Chuckles ]
Just as you like.

[ sniffs 1

VAN DUSEN:
The likeness is uncanny.

Sergeant, you not only got hold
of the wrong suspect.

You also got hold
of the wrong victim.

But her left forefinger's
been amputated.

PRESCOTT: Yes.
And by a skillful surgeon.

Well, then.

But the wound
is perfectly healed.

That operation was performed
some years ago.

- And she's not my patient.
-And she's not Mrs. Morey.

The resemblance between the
murdered woman and Mrs. Morey

was sufficiently remarkable
to deceive a lot of people.

-Including me.
-Yes.

Which is what, of course,
the Moreys counted on.

- Why?
-Oh, dear.

Collaboration is uphill work.

We were discussing
why a perfectly sane woman

should deliberately
want to mutilate herself.

An insurance claim?

- An impersonation!
-Good.

With the object of defrauding
someone similarly mutilated.

[ Chuckles ]
You see?

Our time together
has not been entirely wasted.

Now, supposing Mrs. Morey
and her husband

did conspire in such a fraud.

But sacrificing a finger

to match her identity
with the rightful claimant

would be a steep price to pay.

Not if the stakes
were high enough.

My trouble was that
I could hardly prevent a crime

which was still
merely in contemplation.

Well, no, you couldn't,
could you?

Or if you could have done,

I wouldn't have
a case of murder on my hands.

One step at a time, Sergeant.
One step at a time.

Remember, we all thought the
murdered woman was Mrs. Morey.

Now, I got Varley here
to investigate her background,

and it transpired
that she was the niece

of Sir Hector Drummond, Baronet.

A wealthy bachelor.
Old and without issue.

And mad as a hatter, moreover.

Ha!
He was capable of anything.

Do you know
he damn near killed us?

Yes, we won't weary you with
an account of our adventures.

The fact is
he once shot his niece.

Three years ago, to be exact.

He didn't kill her.

More by luck than good judgment,
I imagine.

But the shot removed
the lady's left forefinger.

More to the point,

the victim of this bizarre
incident was not Mrs. Morey,

but the real heiress.

Another niece.

Her first cousin, in fact,

which, of course, accounts for
the extraordinary resemblance

and the comings and goings
that so baffled us.

This cousin --
What was her name?

Miss Evelyn Rossmore,

who, I discover,
has been missing from her rooms

for the last two days.

But how did she come
to be murdered here?

She was invited here
by the Moreys,

who made their proposition
to her,

demonstrating that Mrs. Morey
could be mistaken for her.

But why on earth
did Miss Rossmore

come back here again?

To refuse their demands.

A refusal which precipitated
their original plan.

What original plan?

The eventual murder
of Miss Rossmore.

I believe they never intended
the murder to take place here,

nor anything like so soon.

I still don't follow.

I'm doing my best to explain.

Mr. Morey must have thought

he was doing pretty well
for himself

marrying into
the Drummond family.

Agreed?

VARLEY: But Mrs. Morey wasn't
going to get any of the money.

VAN DUSEN:
Imagine what a disappointment

that must have been to him.

VARLEY: Especially when he
found out that his wife's cousin

was going to inherit the lot.

VAN DUSEN: Exactly.

Well, this is a surprise.

Yes, isn't it?

It must be, what,
nearly 20 years

since we saw each other last.

- MR. MOREY: Surely not.
-Perhaps not quite 20.

Not far off, then.

You had your hair in pigtails,
I remember.

Yes.
We were children.

And a fearful little tomboy
you were too.

- MR. MOREY: Oh, never.
-Yes, I was.

And yet here you are,
married and everything.

- MR. MOREY: And here you are.
-Yes.

You know, when you opened
the door just now,

I really thought I was looking
at my reflection the mirror.

I'm glad you think so.

- Glad?
-Yes.

What an odd thing to say.
Why glad?

It makes our task
so much easier.

Well, I don't understand.

We have a proposition
to put to you.

Proposition?

Uncle Hector.

That old madman?

MR. MOREY: Mad or not,

I understand he's left you
all he has.

Well...

Is it fair?

That's not for me to say.

MR. MOREY: There, I'm afraid,
we must disagree.

Then don't talk to me about it.
Talk to Uncle Hector.

And risk getting
our heads blown off?

No thank you.

Do you mean
you want to dispossess me?

MR. MOREY:
Oh, if -- I say "if" --

we wanted to do that,

believe me,
there are easier ways.

- Oh?
-Oh, indeed.

Just be thankful
that I'm not greedy.

On my lady wife's account,
that is.

- What do you want?
-A fair share.

ROSSMORE:
And if I refuse?

You yourself have remarked
on the extraordinary resemblance

between you and your cousin.

You would use it
to contest the will?

- Yes.
-MR. MOREY: Reluctantly.

Oh, you'd never succeed.

Perhaps not.

But think of the expense,
the tedium, the law's delays,

and the ever-present chance
that justice might not be done.

- Why put it to the test?
-You might lose everything.

Why risk it when you could
settle out of court?

ROSSMORE: For what?

A third of the estate,
shall we say?

VAN DUSEN: Miss Rossmore
refused to be intimidated.

MALLORY:
All this is still guesswork.

VAN DUSEN: But
well substantiated by the facts.

Mrs. Morey,
a young and beautiful woman,

had volunteered a disfiguring
and acutely painful operation.

Now, was it just to convince
Miss Rossmore

that they could endanger
her inheritance?

Oh, no.
It had to be more than that.

And they staked their all
upon it.

ROSSMORE:
I have only returned

to say that I have thought more
about your proposition,

and I reject it utterly.

MR. MOREY: You thought
we were bluffing, didn't you?

Well...

What do you say to that, then?

Say?

I'll tell you what I'll say.

I'm going straight from here
to tell it to the police.

Why should you have everything,
when our mothers were sisters?

It's not as if we were asking
for all that much.

There's enough for everyone.

Just give us
what is rightfully ours!

I'll give you nothing --

except a good, long
term in jail.

You come here.
You threaten me. You...

Why, by the time
I finish with you --

[Gasps]
No! Let me go!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Stop it!

Please!

You fool.

Why did you do it here?

[ Breathing heavily]

VAN DUSEN:
And I'll stake my reputation.

That's what happened.

VARLEY: Well, it seems
pretty plausible.

And they panicked.

And I suppose by now they're
on their way back to America.

We shall see.

And perhaps a little sooner
than you think.

-[ Door opens]
-Ah.

What the...

You fool!

VAN DUSEN: Gently, gently.
You're both in this together.

There's no possible point

in trying to shift the blame
on one another.

Mr. and Mrs. Chevedon Morey,

you are not obliged
to say anything,

but anything you do say
will be taken down

and may be used in evidence.

A daunting rigamarole.

But all the same,

I strongly advise you
to cooperate with the sergeant.

After all,
it might help your wife.

You see, Mr. Morey,
you were not a logical man.

You panicked twice --

once when you ran away,
once when you came back again.

You knew the woman was dead.

How could she possibly send you
a telegram, I ask you?

All right.
Take them away.

One thing still beats me.

[ Laughs ]
Only one?

What on earth possessed them
to come back here?

Oh, that.

Well, as soon as I saw how
the land lay, I got Varley here

to telegraph the steamships
leaving for America.

There were only two.

Signed in the name
of Miss Rossmore.

You see, gentlemen,
two and two can only make four.

And now I'm sure
you could both do

with a little
liquid refreshment.

Let us share a hansom
to my club, shall we?

Splendid idea.