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1
00:00:02,105 --> 00:00:04,176
Gary: Troy,
did you unplug my monitor?
2
00:00:04,211 --> 00:00:06,661
Troy: I'm sorry.
I did it... with my foot.
3
00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:08,594
I'm sorry. Oh! Oh!
4
00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:09,940
Ow! God!
5
00:00:09,975 --> 00:00:11,597
Oh!
6
00:00:11,632 --> 00:00:12,667
Thank you, Percy.
7
00:00:13,703 --> 00:00:15,739
Oh, holy shit.
8
00:00:15,774 --> 00:00:17,258
This is really nice.
9
00:00:17,293 --> 00:00:19,743
Look at this.
10
00:00:25,094 --> 00:00:27,579
Giddyap, horsy.
Come on!
11
00:00:27,613 --> 00:00:29,546
Hey, guys.
Gary!
12
00:00:29,581 --> 00:00:30,547
Look what I got!
13
00:00:30,582 --> 00:00:32,963
It's noisy paper.
14
00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:47,599
Whoo!
Gary!
15
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:51,051
Some of us are trying to work,
and the sound is insane!
16
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,535
So, please,
take it away from them.
17
00:00:52,569 --> 00:00:54,399
You want me to take away
the only pleasure
18
00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,228
they've ever had
in their never-lived lives?
19
00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:58,058
Yeah... No, I will not do it.
20
00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,611
- Yay!
- Whoo-hoo!
21
00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:01,544
Then I will, 'cause
I have authority
22
00:01:01,578 --> 00:01:05,134
over anything that's over
negative six months old, okay?!
23
00:01:05,168 --> 00:01:06,559
Fully formed people
are trying to work.
24
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:08,585
Take your hands off
our bubble wrap!
25
00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:11,726
Aagh!
26
00:01:11,761 --> 00:01:13,107
It's fine.
27
00:01:13,142 --> 00:01:14,729
Oh.
Whoa!
28
00:01:14,764 --> 00:01:16,731
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just put the gun down.
29
00:01:16,766 --> 00:01:18,112
I don't know how you got it.
30
00:01:18,147 --> 00:01:20,597
Okay, I understand
that he's a doodie-head...
31
00:01:20,632 --> 00:01:22,910
Aah!
32
00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:26,086
I got shot!
33
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,089
♪♪
34
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,987
So, apparently,
that blob of hamburger meat
35
00:01:31,021 --> 00:01:32,471
got this gun
at a gun show down here.
36
00:01:32,506 --> 00:01:34,277
Since when do we have gun shows?
They don't like to be
37
00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:36,268
called hamburger meat, Claude.
They're accidents.
38
00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:38,167
Why don't you just
hit the undo button on them?
39
00:01:38,201 --> 00:01:39,661
They have souls, too, Claude.
They have nowhere to go.
40
00:01:39,685 --> 00:01:42,412
They were never born,
so they were never baptized.
41
00:01:42,447 --> 00:01:44,114
Nobody wants 'em. Yeah, I don't want them,
42
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,519
especially next to my cube.
43
00:01:45,553 --> 00:01:47,117
I mean, the world is better off
without them.
44
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,774
There's actually a really
interesting passage
45
00:01:48,798 --> 00:01:50,189
in "Freakonomics"
that you should... Yeah, hold that.
46
00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:52,250
Hey, Gary, buddy.
How you doing?
47
00:01:52,284 --> 00:01:53,537
I hustled down
as soon as I heard.
48
00:01:53,561 --> 00:01:54,838
It's been three months.
49
00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:56,153
You have my thoughts
and prayers.
50
00:01:56,185 --> 00:01:57,634
Heard you got shot in the dick.
51
00:01:57,669 --> 00:02:00,430
I got shot in the hip. I understand.
52
00:02:00,465 --> 00:02:01,890
It's embarrassing to say
you got shot in the dick,
53
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,123
so you're saying "hip."
54
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,779
It's okay,
but you might want to change
55
00:02:04,814 --> 00:02:06,264
the dressing on your "hip,"
56
00:02:06,298 --> 00:02:09,336
because it's bleeding
into your dick.
57
00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,796
I've been degraded enough. Hey, listen.
58
00:02:10,820 --> 00:02:12,787
I just wanted to tell you,
I am taking steps
59
00:02:12,822 --> 00:02:15,204
to ensure that something
like this never happens again.
60
00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:17,482
Hell is going to be a safer
place for all eternity.
61
00:02:17,516 --> 00:02:19,173
Stay strong... Gary strong!
62
00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:20,795
We're making bracelets
for you.
You are?
63
00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:22,659
No, I hate you,
you piece of shit.
64
00:02:22,694 --> 00:02:24,040
Satan: All right.
Keep it moving.
65
00:02:24,074 --> 00:02:26,180
Single file.
One gun apiece.
66
00:02:26,215 --> 00:02:28,296
Remember, the only thing
that stops a bad guy with a gun
67
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:29,908
is a good guy with a gun...
That's it.
68
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:33,187
So, everybody just gets a gun,
even the presidential assassins?
69
00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:34,637
Yes. Even the school shooters?
70
00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:37,191
Yes, absolutely.
The undiagnosed schizophrenics?
71
00:02:37,226 --> 00:02:38,513
The terrorists? Definitely.
All those guys.
72
00:02:38,537 --> 00:02:40,367
Idi Amin and the Nazis? Yes, of course.
73
00:02:40,401 --> 00:02:42,886
And Harpo or Zeppo
or whoever the this is?
74
00:02:42,921 --> 00:02:44,854
Yeah.
The skinheads?
75
00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:45,993
This guy gets a gun.
76
00:02:46,027 --> 00:02:46,994
This guy.
This man!
77
00:02:47,028 --> 00:02:48,168
He's a wizard.
78
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,755
Hey, Troy. Hey, how you doing.
79
00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:50,998
No, no, no.
What?
80
00:02:51,032 --> 00:02:52,206
Not these dicks.
81
00:02:52,241 --> 00:02:53,897
Oh, definitely
these dicks.
No.
82
00:02:53,932 --> 00:02:56,486
Do you have the guns to make
the bullets go fast,
83
00:02:56,521 --> 00:02:58,350
like... like pap,
pap, pap, pap?!
84
00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:01,871
Of course I do!
It's an AR-15 with a bump stock.
85
00:03:01,905 --> 00:03:03,217
Knock yourself out.
86
00:03:03,252 --> 00:03:04,505
How are they even gonna
shoot that thing?
87
00:03:04,529 --> 00:03:05,713
Their fingers are
stuck together.
88
00:03:05,737 --> 00:03:07,017
They can't even
pull the trigger.
89
00:03:07,048 --> 00:03:08,671
My brain has hemispheres.
90
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:12,019
Who are you to tell me
I don't get to have a gun?!
91
00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:15,195
One gun for Gary Bunda.
92
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,024
Make it loaded.
93
00:03:17,058 --> 00:03:18,508
You, of all people,
94
00:03:18,543 --> 00:03:20,683
you haven't learned
one lesson about guns?
95
00:03:20,717 --> 00:03:22,063
Give me a goddamn gun!
96
00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:24,756
'Cause if I had a gun that day
when Rainbow Pie shot me,
97
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:26,516
I would have shot that gun
out of his hands,
98
00:03:26,551 --> 00:03:29,105
and I wouldn't be here right now
like this.
99
00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:37,139
♪♪
100
00:03:38,597 --> 00:03:40,461
This is so wrong. No one's forcing you.
101
00:03:40,496 --> 00:03:42,163
If you don't want a gun,
you don't have to have one.
102
00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:43,637
I don't need a gun.
103
00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:46,226
I'm just saying,
what is to prevent
104
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,227
some lunatic just from coming...
105
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,056
Whoa!
Shane, knock it off!
106
00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:53,888
All right, everybody grab a gun,
protect yourselves.
107
00:03:53,923 --> 00:03:55,062
Hurry up.
108
00:04:01,758 --> 00:04:05,417
♪♪
109
00:04:05,452 --> 00:04:06,763
Diiiiiie!
110
00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:09,145
♪♪
111
00:04:09,179 --> 00:04:10,733
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
112
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:11,941
♪♪
113
00:04:11,975 --> 00:04:14,564
Perfect.
114
00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:16,428
I will shot you in the...
In the...
115
00:04:16,463 --> 00:04:19,120
In the dick, Rainbow Pie.
116
00:04:22,227 --> 00:04:24,402
Diarrhea's a pretty bold
roast today.
117
00:04:25,713 --> 00:04:29,510
Well, looky here, Dr. Ashby.
We meet again!
118
00:04:29,545 --> 00:04:30,936
We... We don't know
each other, sir.
119
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,274
Not so big without
your vacuum tube, are you?
120
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,828
Please, I'm merely
an obstetrician.
121
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:39,934
I'm down here for
fondling my patients,
122
00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:41,004
that's all.
123
00:04:41,039 --> 00:04:43,283
And I'm a Cabbage Patch Kid.
124
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:46,147
Ah, ah, ah! Hands where
I can see 'em, Ashby.
125
00:04:46,182 --> 00:04:48,805
In nine weeks,
we develop a conscience.
126
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,291
So, you're looking
at my head circumference
127
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,120
and wondering...
128
00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:56,606
"Is he eight weeks,
or is he nine?"
129
00:04:57,504 --> 00:05:01,370
Well, do you feel lucky, punk?!
130
00:05:01,404 --> 00:05:03,337
See ya, Claude.
131
00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:05,615
Ow! Agh! Ow.
132
00:05:05,650 --> 00:05:06,961
I told you,
133
00:05:06,996 --> 00:05:11,311
less face and less groin,
yet you keep going there.
134
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,968
And I tell you,
I'll do what I want to do.
135
00:05:14,003 --> 00:05:16,454
Well, you see this?
136
00:05:16,488 --> 00:05:20,699
You're gonna do less face
and less groin,
137
00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:22,874
and you're gonna do it now.
138
00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:25,394
I'll do as much face
139
00:05:25,428 --> 00:05:28,086
and as much groin as I want to.
140
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,468
Dizzay, give me my gun.
141
00:05:30,502 --> 00:05:35,265
You don't tell me what
to do, Eddie.
142
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,750
Yeah.
You tell 'em, Dizzay.
143
00:05:36,784 --> 00:05:38,510
And you don't tell me
what to do, either.
144
00:05:38,545 --> 00:05:40,419
You don't tell me what to do!
Don't point your gun at me.
145
00:05:40,443 --> 00:05:43,688
Don't tell me what to do!
Put the gun in my hand
146
00:05:43,722 --> 00:05:45,103
and let me point it at Troy.
147
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,356
Would you just give him his gun?
148
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,071
He has a right
to protect himself.
149
00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:50,350
Claude: If we're gonna be giving
guns to everybody,
150
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,120
don't you think we should have
some safety training?
151
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:55,182
I need one of those laser dots.
152
00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:57,357
Hey, man, is that my pen? No.
153
00:05:57,391 --> 00:06:00,014
I'm talking about
mandatory background checks,
154
00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:01,257
mental health exams.
155
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:03,949
It's just common sense
gun control, guys.
156
00:06:03,984 --> 00:06:05,917
Seriously, man,
it's got my teeth marks on it.
157
00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:07,401
It's not your pen, Ben.
158
00:06:07,436 --> 00:06:09,507
Satan, think about it,
these guys are all idiots.
159
00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:13,511
Do you want them running around
with...
Ahem.
160
00:06:13,545 --> 00:06:15,409
Um, you know what, Ben,
161
00:06:15,444 --> 00:06:17,377
um, yeah, why don't you
just take that pen.
162
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,033
Thank you. See that?
163
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,725
It was Ben's pen after all.
164
00:06:20,759 --> 00:06:23,762
And to your point,
Gary has made us a video
165
00:06:23,797 --> 00:06:26,075
about gun safety that
I'd like you all to see.
166
00:06:26,109 --> 00:06:27,421
Gary, you want to come up?
167
00:06:27,456 --> 00:06:30,942
Can you help me, Dizzay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, buddy.
168
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,707
It's okay to clap...
169
00:06:37,742 --> 00:06:39,053
if you want to clap.
170
00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:40,400
Got it?
171
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,160
Yeah, I think I... Oh, oh, oh...
172
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,093
Come on, buddy.
173
00:06:44,127 --> 00:06:45,439
All right.
174
00:06:45,474 --> 00:06:46,923
Take one step.
175
00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,131
There you go.
176
00:06:56,761 --> 00:06:59,142
♪ A rifle in the wrong hands ♪
177
00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:01,075
♪ Can cause a killing spree
178
00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:03,595
♪ But a gun in the hand
of a righteous man ♪
179
00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:05,563
♪ Is what made
our country free ♪
180
00:07:05,597 --> 00:07:07,910
♪ What if Kennedy had a gun?
181
00:07:07,944 --> 00:07:10,464
♪ The other guy wouldn't
have too much fun ♪
182
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:12,811
♪ It damn sure would have
been a different story ♪
183
00:07:12,846 --> 00:07:15,365
♪ Of the sixth floor
of the book depository ♪
184
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,575
♪ If Kennedy had a gun
185
00:07:17,609 --> 00:07:19,266
Light 'em up, gents!
186
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:21,475
Bap, bap, bap, bap! No one's offended?
187
00:07:21,510 --> 00:07:23,270
♪ Maybe we'd be in
a better place ♪
188
00:07:23,304 --> 00:07:27,792
♪ If everyone in the human race
could only have a gun ♪
189
00:07:27,826 --> 00:07:30,588
♪ Starts with me and Gandhi
and Sharon Tate ♪
190
00:07:30,622 --> 00:07:32,807
♪ And Malcolm X,
John Lennon♪I can't be a part of this.
191
00:07:32,831 --> 00:07:34,350
♪ Abe Lincoln, Tupac,
Dian Fossey ♪
192
00:07:34,384 --> 00:07:36,835
♪ Biggie Smalls, Pancho Villa ♪
193
00:07:39,528 --> 00:07:41,046
What are you doing?
194
00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:44,464
I'm looking for my bubble wrap
that youstole!
195
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,638
There are ways to solve conflict
without guns.
196
00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:48,295
You stole my bubble wrap!
197
00:07:48,329 --> 00:07:49,779
I have to stand my ground.
198
00:07:49,814 --> 00:07:52,299
I understand that.
It's not your fault if...
199
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,680
If only the rules here
200
00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:56,061
were like they were
in Australia, you know?
201
00:07:56,096 --> 00:07:58,616
What's, uh...
Australia?
202
00:07:58,650 --> 00:08:01,791
It's a place, Windstorm...
A beautiful place.
203
00:08:01,826 --> 00:08:04,898
They used to have a ton of guns,
but then they banned them.
204
00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:08,971
And the shootings stopped.
Let me show you.
205
00:08:10,559 --> 00:08:13,872
That's a funny baby horse
inside a mama horse.
206
00:08:13,907 --> 00:08:16,979
No, that's a kangaroo
and its joey.
207
00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:18,152
Joey?
208
00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:21,328
But she won't throw joey away.
209
00:08:21,362 --> 00:08:22,985
No, Windstorm, never.
210
00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:27,161
They keep their joeys close,
like we are right now.
211
00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:28,577
You see, look at us.
212
00:08:28,611 --> 00:08:30,993
When you talk
and create a dialogue,
213
00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:32,408
you connect
214
00:08:32,442 --> 00:08:34,893
and surprising things
can happen.
215
00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:36,550
Hey...
216
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:38,172
I've got a surprise for you.
217
00:08:38,207 --> 00:08:42,004
Close your eyes and no peeking,
all right, Windstorm?
218
00:08:42,038 --> 00:08:45,179
♪♪
219
00:08:45,214 --> 00:08:46,353
Surprise!
220
00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:50,115
Argh!
221
00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:52,842
Claude?
H-Hey, Claude?
222
00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:53,843
Claude?
223
00:08:53,878 --> 00:08:54,672
Claude!
224
00:08:54,706 --> 00:08:56,363
Claude, wake up.
225
00:08:56,397 --> 00:08:57,916
Rainbow Pie. It's Windstorm,
226
00:08:57,951 --> 00:09:00,574
but I can see how
you would make that mistake!
227
00:09:00,609 --> 00:09:02,403
Well, you're a bad guy
with a gun.
228
00:09:02,438 --> 00:09:04,267
And I'm a good guy with a gun.
229
00:09:04,302 --> 00:09:08,030
Don't shoot, Gary.
I'm a good guy with gun, too!
230
00:09:08,064 --> 00:09:13,104
♪♪
231
00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:14,554
Aaaaaaaaaah!
232
00:09:18,109 --> 00:09:21,388
You killed Windstorm,
you son of a bitch!
233
00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:24,149
Say hello to your little friend.
234
00:09:24,184 --> 00:09:25,979
I'm talking about me...
235
00:09:26,013 --> 00:09:27,567
Rainbow Pie!
236
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:36,472
♪♪
237
00:09:36,506 --> 00:09:38,819
My dick!
238
00:09:38,854 --> 00:09:40,476
My balls!
239
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:43,168
My dick and balls!
240
00:09:43,203 --> 00:09:51,107
♪♪
241
00:09:51,142 --> 00:09:52,315
No!
242
00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:53,351
Wha...
243
00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:58,598
♪♪
244
00:10:05,466 --> 00:10:07,607
Morning, ladies.
No, no, no, no, no.
245
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:08,815
Don't try to speak.
246
00:10:08,849 --> 00:10:10,920
Some maniac shot you
in the larynx.
247
00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:12,277
So what you're gonna do is,
you're gonna blow
248
00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:13,647
into those little straws,
249
00:10:13,682 --> 00:10:16,270
and it will point to words
on the monitor.
250
00:10:18,548 --> 00:10:19,653
Automated voice: Poop.
251
00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:21,448
Poop.
You've gotta go poop.
252
00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:23,460
Poop. Poop. Okay, you can just go
right in your diaper.
253
00:10:23,484 --> 00:10:24,934
Dog booty. Dog booty.
254
00:10:24,969 --> 00:10:27,972
Listen, I know you have a lot
to express in your heart.
255
00:10:28,006 --> 00:10:31,113
Dog booty. But the monitor has
a very limited vocabulary.
256
00:10:31,147 --> 00:10:32,632
Dog booty.
257
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,943
Poop. Satan is great.
258
00:10:33,978 --> 00:10:36,325
I know you guys are impaired,
259
00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:39,535
but you're still a very
important part of our team.
260
00:10:39,569 --> 00:10:40,719
Poop. Poop. So come on, let's go.
261
00:10:40,743 --> 00:10:43,850
Dog booty. There we go.
262
00:10:43,884 --> 00:10:46,473
Oh. Okay, guys, guys, guys.
Don't panic.
263
00:10:46,507 --> 00:10:48,475
I'm not gonna make you
do the stairs.
264
00:10:48,509 --> 00:10:51,340
No, I had, uh...
I had a ramp put in.
265
00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:58,588
Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop.
Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop.
266
00:10:58,623 --> 00:11:00,211
Because of the coffee table!
267
00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:03,076
Poop, poop, poop, poop!
19005
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