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1
00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:07,741
Prisoner: Yo, Sheik.
2
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:08,976
Shriek.
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,212
Shrek.
4
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:12,746
It's Dustin Diamond, man.
5
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,248
I'm bored, Squeak.
6
00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:16,484
Hey, won't you do squeak out
one of them funny TV jokes
7
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,487
like you used to do
back in the day, Squeak?
8
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,889
All right, I got
a funny joke for you.
9
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,992
I get tomorrow,
and you've got six more years
10
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,660
for selling weed.
11
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:35,503
You're not gonna get saved
by the bell this time, Squeak.
12
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,207
Aaah!
13
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:42,776
It's Screech.
14
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,745
Go to hell!
15
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:54,755
Hello?
16
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,023
Dad!
17
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,025
[ Canned studio cheers
and applause ]
Dad?
18
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,193
No, kid, I'm...
19
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,928
Wait, what the hell?
You're home!
20
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,231
Check it out!
21
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,872
Guess who spent
their lemonade stand money
22
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,775
on a used drum set?
23
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:18,712
I have no idea. I don't even
know who you two people are.
24
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,748
Whoa, ha.
25
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,884
Hey, Levi, I think I know
the name of that song.
26
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,320
I think it's called
"Noise Complaint."
27
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:30,224
See, Levi? You're disrupting
the whole neighborhood.
28
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:34,595
Let Mama show you
how it's done.
29
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,499
Ooh, wa-ah-ah-ah!
30
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:45,506
I can't believe you allowed
Levi to get a drum set!
31
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,908
Hey, what the
is going on here?
32
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,411
Why can't I say ?
33
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,079
It's network standards.
34
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,248
Ain't it a
?
35
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,121
Okay, listen.
36
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,256
Don't freak out.
You're in Hell.
37
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,591
What?
Yeah.
38
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,792
Why?
39
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,694
For a lot of reasons
that I think that you know.
40
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,596
Satan's a huge fan, though,
41
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,664
and he wants you to reprise
your most popular role
42
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,533
as loveable goofball,
Squeak.
43
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,268
You are aware that
it's Screech, though, right?
44
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,703
Listen to me, all right.
45
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,838
It's Squeak, because Satan
thinks that it's Squeak,
46
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,707
so it's Squeak from now on,
all right?
47
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:23,811
I never want to hear the word
"Screech" ever again.
48
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,184
I'm in a sitcom?
49
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,823
Whoa!
50
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,959
There you are!
51
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,796
We have to hurry, or we're going
to be late for league night.
52
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:47,801
Um, why is it snowing
inside the house?
53
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,805
Honey, remember when you said,
"It'll be a cold day in Hell"
54
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:55,809
before you let anyone
touch your prize bowling ball?
55
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:56,877
I've never said that.
56
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,580
Get in here, Levi!
57
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,183
Papa, it's stuck.
58
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,555
-Wow, I hacky sitcom star
59
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,023
being forced to star in
a hacky sitcom in Hell
60
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,259
for all of eternity?
61
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,060
Pretty genius, sir.
62
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,495
Hacky?
63
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,364
Uh, no, it's funny, funny.
64
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,865
Razzleberries!
65
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,834
Why the hell
did I just say that?
66
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,837
Oh, "Razzleberries" better
not be my catch phrase.
67
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:24,872
Razzleberries!
68
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,674
Oh, come on, I'm being
forced to say it!
69
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,242
Razzleberries!
70
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:31,945
See, that -- that's gonna be
the next "Dyno
71
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,382
What is that?
72
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:35,883
Well, that's a -- that's
a catch phrase, Claude.
73
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,786
You know, like,
"Hey, sit on it, Potsie."
74
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,421
"Nanu nanu"?
75
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,189
"Dee plane, dee plane"?
76
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,757
"Jane, you ignorant slut,
you"?
77
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,559
Uh, "Yeah,
that's the ticket"?
78
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,960
"No soup for you"?
I don't get
79
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:50,398
any of those references,
but I was referring to that.
80
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,309
I want catch phrase.
Razzleberries!
81
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,410
Boob farts!
82
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,711
Razzleberries!
83
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,145
Boob farts!
84
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:07,080
Oh,
85
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,882
Razzleberries!
Boob farts!
86
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:13,887
It's your turn, Squeak.
87
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,956
What are you doing?
88
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,057
Trying to kill myself.
89
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:21,161
Judging by his bowling game,
I don't blame him.
90
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,997
Seriously, though,
you can't kill yourself.
91
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:26,266
We've all tried
thousands of times.
92
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,568
Are you serious?
93
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,236
Tens of thousands of times.
Come on, man.
94
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,573
I spent my entire life trying
to distance myself from Screech.
95
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,842
Good, that's good, that's good.
Because if you enjoy it,
96
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,577
it's not a torture
and Satan will end it.
97
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,580
So you got to hate it, but then
you got to like, enjoy it.
98
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,814
Like life on Earth.
99
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:45,018
Boy, you're up. Come on.
Make your papa proud.
100
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,020
All right, all right,
the guys are watching.
101
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,256
Just like I showed you,
get in there.
102
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,428
Levi, you're killing me!
What's going on, son?
103
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,599
Sorry, Dad,
I slipped on the ice.
104
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,602
Spare me the sob story,
you turkey!
105
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,372
And don't eat that yellow snow!
106
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:05,706
See, you're getting it.
107
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,442
Spare and turkey are
dumb bowling terms.
108
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,010
And the snow part, right?
109
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,845
That was kind of putting
a hat on a hat.
110
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,316
Diarrhea Lagoon
is a sheet of ice.
111
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:17,985
Hell is literally
freezing over.
112
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,354
All because of that
one line of dialogue?
113
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,490
Seems like a pretty
thin B-story, Satan.
114
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,525
It's not a B-story,
Claude, okay?
115
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,527
What writer would think
of something so dumb?
116
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,797
The magic I used
to create the sitcom
117
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,833
is spreading like a virus,
and if I can't stop it,
118
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,035
Hell could become
a frozen tundra.
119
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:39,973
Hey, Satan! This hot poker
ain't hot anymore.
120
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,744
All right, well then,
just stick it on your tongue.
121
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,913
Yeah, but it's already
been up my ass.
122
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,015
I know exactly
where it's been, Eddie.
123
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:55,322
Razzleberries!
124
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,992
Aaaah!
125
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,695
Knock it off!
126
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,866
Whoo!
127
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,335
Boob farts.
128
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,337
Whoa!
129
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,039
Whoa, whoa!
130
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:14,775
Whoa!
131
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,276
Whoa!
132
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,914
I think I found
something here.
133
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,851
In order to reverse the spell
and get the snow to stop,
134
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,953
I need the eyes
of a small child.
135
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,187
Oh, that's it?
136
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,857
I thought you were gonna ask
for something ridiculous.
137
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,196
Where are we gonna
find a child in Hell?
138
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:40,367
This child falsely accused
a priest of rape.
139
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,135
That -- that's
not even a joke.
140
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,704
That actually happened.
141
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,038
I don't think
an eyeless child's
142
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,974
gonna play very well
with our audience.
143
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,777
It's a bit of a downer,
am I right?
144
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,144
You know what's even more
of a downer?
145
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:53,046
Being frozen in Hell
for all eternity.
146
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,615
Now, you get out there
and you go find this kid
147
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,949
and rip his eyes out
and bring them back to me!
148
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,250
I can't take
much more of this.
149
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,219
All right.
Boob farts.
150
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,588
Oh!
151
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,460
Can we please do something
about the temperature in here?
152
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,128
We actually can,
you know.
153
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,598
In order to reverse
the spell and to keep Hell
154
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,065
from freezing over...
Okay.
155
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,635
...all you need to do
is stab your son's eyes out.
156
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,336
Wait, what?
157
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,238
No. No!
158
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,407
I'm sorry, I just don't
see Squeak doing that.
159
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,677
Really? This is weird,
because from my recollection,
160
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:26,980
you stabbed somebody
in real life, Dustin!
161
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,116
Look, I had a knife, yes,
but it was for defense.
162
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,318
Some guy tried to choke me
and nicked his arm.
163
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,786
It was a big to-do.
164
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,688
The media just loves
to spin that whole
165
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,423
"child star gone bad" angle.
166
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,191
That's why this show
is so important.
167
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,994
It gives me a chance
to rehabilitate my image.
168
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:42,496
Wait.
169
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,632
So, none of this
is a torture for you?
170
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,433
I'm acting, Gary.
171
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,435
Hello, I'm an actor!
172
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,137
Ta-da!
173
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,472
Fine, I'll stab
the boy's eyes out.
174
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,509
It's my job!
175
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:02,349
Thirsty blind drummer,
looking for sour refreshment.
176
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:03,684
You're a drummer, too?
177
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,318
Who's there?
Who's there?
178
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,721
My name's Levi!
This is my lemonade stand.
179
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:11,024
Yeah! I'd love to have
some lemonade! Wow!
180
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:15,462
Business has kind of
cooled down.
181
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,531
It's cool to be blind!
182
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:18,899
Because if I wasn't blind,
183
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,468
I wouldn't of been
the world's best drummer.
184
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,636
Want to see?
185
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,004
Oh, yes.
186
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,973
* Bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim
187
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,679
Yeah!
188
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,247
Yeah, rock and roll, yeah!
189
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:35,382
I'm a drummer, too.
190
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,651
Are you, now?
191
00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:40,520
Do you want to take a look
at my magical drumsticks?
192
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:46,059
Wow, those sure are
weird drumsticks, mister!
193
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:47,828
You just
keep your eyes open
194
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,498
real wide so you can get
a good look at them, okay?
195
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,833
Aaaaah!
196
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,508
Booby farts!
197
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,678
Booby farts!
198
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,547
All right.
199
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:08,882
Here are your eyeballs.
200
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,953
I feel terrible about myself.
201
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,255
I always wanted to see life
through the eyes of a child,
202
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,925
but this is ridiculous.
203
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,128
Yeah, sorry, buddy.
204
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,196
After this whole
child-eye thing,
205
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,232
your character's just not
testing well with audiences.
206
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,700
I got like,
15 seasons left me.
207
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,101
"He was funnier
when he was fatter."
208
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,203
Well, write a scene
where I'm handling a puppy!
209
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,540
Where I save a puppy
from a bunch of snakes!
210
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,776
What is that?
211
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,279
Well, I'll be damned.
212
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,114
It's a thermostat.
213
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:44,952
Somebody must have
nudged it.
214
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,587
Snow is stopping.
215
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:52,125
Boy, is our electrical bill
gonna go through the roof.
216
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,766
Take these and go.
217
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,601
The eyes have it!
218
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,503
That was funny.
219
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,105
I guess Eye'll be going.
220
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,642
That was funny.
221
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,286
Oh, thank you, thank you.
222
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,620
I mean it.
223
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,856
Hey!
Oh, let's hear it for him!
224
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,257
That's the man
with the plan.
225
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,492
Hey!
226
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,028
I just wanted to tell you
I really, really love
227
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,763
the direction
the show is going.
228
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,098
Thank you.
And I've decided
229
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,767
to green light it
for a thousand seasons.
230
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,468
A thousand seasons?
231
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,037
Together: Razzleberries!
232
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,115
Yeah, I'm kidding.
It's cancelled.
233
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,465
Look at this.
All right, ready?
234
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,633
Hey, buddy.
235
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,401
How's it hanging?
236
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,903
Dizzay: Is that your penis
on his forehead?
237
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,471
Yeah, to scale.
Oh.
238
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,173
I'm gonna get some markers.
We're gonna add some shit.
239
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,341
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Just enough to get us
240
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,776
in trouble.
-Hey, grab me one!
16740
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