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1
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,608
...and my brother would
just get so mad.
2
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:09,510
Whoa!
3
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,613
Did you see that?
It was a spaceship!
4
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:20,454
**
5
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,003
Where'd you
get that gun?
6
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,871
My dad's nightstand.
7
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,188
Damn, you ugly, son!
8
00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,389
Now you're in hell?!
9
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,458
Some people
can't catch a break.
10
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:58,759
No, no, no, no,
Dizzay, no!
11
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,762
This guy's an alien
from outer space!
12
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,432
He's a Gray!
He's here to promote peace.
13
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,767
He's here to save
the universe!
14
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,302
And he doesn't belong here.
15
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:09,737
Troy:
Hey, X-Files!
16
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,905
If you die on earth,
you don't believe in Jesus,
17
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:13,207
you get the hook.
Now hook him!
18
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,608
See, that's what
I'm talking about.
19
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,278
No, no, no!
I will not face the wrath
20
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:19,079
of the Intergalactic
Committee.
21
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,081
And I refuse to gut
any more molesters
22
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,616
until you
bring him down.
23
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,921
Aah! Aah! Aah!
24
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,957
Aah! Aah!
25
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,827
Aah! Aah! Aah!
26
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,196
Aah! Aah!
27
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,965
Ow! Wow! Wow! Ah!
28
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:39,233
-Yo!
29
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,534
You all right, Eddie?
30
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:41,769
Yeah.
31
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:47,040
Oh, thank you!
32
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,642
Oh, my God.
33
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:51,212
You healed all
of Eddie's wounds!
34
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,747
All right, do it again.
Yah!
35
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:54,748
Ah!
36
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,217
Oh, thank you!
37
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,219
-Yah!
Ah!
38
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,488
Ah!
39
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,891
Because you healed
Eddie's wounds,
40
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:07,661
I'm gonna call you...
41
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:08,896
Healy.
42
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,698
Hey! What's going on?
43
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,266
Eddie's been down here
for 45 minutes.
44
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,534
He's completely
unblemished.
45
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,869
Well, that's because
Healy's been healing him
46
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:18,206
with his healing powers,
ya knucklehead!
47
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,807
Healy?
48
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,311
Healy is short for Healifer,
and I am his Earth father.
49
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:24,578
And it's amazing!
50
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,447
It's proof that there's
life in outer space!
51
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,249
Yeah, I'm not really
into sci-fi.
52
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,351
It's not sci-fi.
It's just sci!
53
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,085
Will you do me a favor?
Will you cut his head off
54
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:34,555
and stick it on a spike and then
slice his body up into pieces
55
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,723
and make him eat
the pieces?
56
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,326
He's proof
that there's life-force
57
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,727
out in the universe!
58
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,763
He made my whip
into a licorice whip
59
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,465
with a peppermint handle.
60
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,099
-Yeah.
61
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,168
Yeah, come here, Healy.
62
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:50,103
Heal this, huh.
63
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,842
Whoa! That's awesome!
64
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,076
He gave me hair?
65
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,879
You look like Willy Wonka's
coke dealer.
66
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,350
Gave me licorice hair.
67
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:03,717
He gave you
licorice hair!
68
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:04,618
Cut his head off.
69
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,687
No, he's from
Zeta Reticulum!
70
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,689
Cut his finger off, too,
and make him eat it.
71
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,791
**
72
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:14,027
I don't want to do this.
73
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,230
I know you're special,
74
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:17,865
and you're my little peanut
75
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,234
that I want to keep
in a little basket.
76
00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:22,903
But they don't care
that you're special
77
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:26,740
or that you're cute
or that you're my little peanut.
78
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,476
Dizzay?
79
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,778
Hold his big-ass
weird feet.
80
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,647
God bless you,
little boy.
81
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:38,286
[ Speaking
alien language ]
82
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,688
-Gary, look!
83
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,756
I don't know, man --
looks like plants or something.
84
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:44,358
It's weed!
85
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,332
Look at this, Gary!
86
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,701
Tomatoes, asparagus!
87
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,070
It was Healy! He made
the vegetables grow
in the tar sands!
88
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:01,141
That's a pepper!
A yellow pepper.
89
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,209
William?
90
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,210
Yeah, Gar?
91
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,378
Can you do me a favor?
92
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,980
Sure, Gar. What's up?
93
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:10,384
I feel like my whole body
is filling with energy.
94
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,985
Yeah, I guess that's
what happens
95
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:14,555
when you eat something
besides chalk for a change?
96
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,156
Where you getting
chalk from?
97
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,025
I get it from
the conference room.
98
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,894
That's why there
ain't no chalk, baby.
99
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,599
Hey, shh!
Healy, you're in disguise.
100
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,735
Stop drawing attention
to yourself!
101
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,503
What the hell
are you guys doing?
102
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:31,038
Nothing, just hanging out
with our friend William.
103
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,307
You know, just --
just chilling down.
104
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:35,175
That ain't William.
105
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,481
He's destroying
my computer!
106
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,384
You said that it was running
slow, and so he's fixing it.
107
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,587
He's ripping
his intestines out.
108
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,922
Hello, Gary.
109
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,725
Oh, look at that, he made
a little translator!
110
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,594
I'm not sure what part
of your planet this is,
111
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,862
but I want to go home.
112
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,697
Well, guess what,
I want to go home.
113
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,467
This guy wants to go home.
Everybody here wants to go home!
114
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,702
You're a soul now.
Your body's dead.
115
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,337
I can get back
into my body.
116
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,372
On Earth?
117
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:06,039
Yes.
I can heal myself.
118
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,842
We're not exactly supposed
to leave, Healy.
119
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:11,745
Help me get my body, and I will
take you to my home planet.
120
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,747
We have a tree that grows
your favorite food.
121
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,384
You mean to tell me you've got
a tree that just grows pad thai?
122
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,352
Yes, and we have
horny sex robots
123
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:20,187
that exist
only to please you.
124
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,722
All nude. Triple X.
125
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:22,923
I -- I wanna go.
I wanna go.
126
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,392
No, no, no, no,
shut your mouth.
127
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,826
I'll do it.
I'll go. I'll go.
128
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,528
Let me ask him.
Shut up!
129
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,630
They do handjobs?
130
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,765
Well,
they'll do anything.
131
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,834
You can get more
than handjobs.
132
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,269
But tell me, they got,
like, real hands, right?
133
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:37,671
And not, like,
just claws --
134
00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:38,972
They're not gonna rip off
my dick and balls?
135
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,609
Handjob, pad thai, done.
Are we good to go?
136
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,977
Uh, you know what.
You're gonna take me, too,
137
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:48,382
because, otherwise,
I'm gonna tell Satan.
138
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,618
-That's blackmail.
-Please don't do this.
139
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,520
You're also fixing my eyesight
'cause you know what?
140
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,954
I'm sick of wearing
these glasses.
141
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,956
Okay, bend down here.
142
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,893
What the...is this?
143
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,195
Oh, God.
144
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,764
Why did you do that
to him?
145
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,033
He was a liability.
So I turned his face into corn.
146
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,301
All right, well I'm gonna
go pack my stapler,
147
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:09,837
and then we can
get out of here.
148
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,305
Leave the stapler. My planet
has plenty of staplers.
149
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:16,109
Yeah, you just hide
in there. Just shh.
150
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,978
All right.
151
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,551
Hey, I just got to take
the old machine topside.
152
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,886
Getting standard
maintenance done to her.
153
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,423
For some reason these
photocopy repair places
154
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:30,424
aren't down here.
155
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:31,692
They're always up there.
156
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,360
You know how it is
with photocopiers
157
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,729
'cause you're always using them
and they, like, need maintenance
158
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,565
pretty much standardly
all the time.
159
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:40,000
So I'm just taking her
topside with it.
160
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,234
Taking her topside.
161
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,437
See ya, buddy!
162
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:53,080
According to my finger,
my body's nearby.
163
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,550
It's you!
164
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,218
It's you!
165
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,453
Oh, my God.
166
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:00,988
They're playing
with your guts.
167
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,690
Healy:
They split me wide open.
168
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,592
Why, you animals
169
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,059
That is
too much to heal.
170
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:09,096
There are my space shorts.
I can call my brother.
171
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,264
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
172
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,566
Mention me, you know?
173
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,934
Mention that I'm coming
with you guys.
174
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,037
Tell him that we can have
some pad thai on me.
175
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,840
And my tree -- The tree that
grows all my favorite foods?
176
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,242
And then I can have
some alone time with that robot
177
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,645
that's just gonna give me
handjobs all night.
178
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,581
Here,
hold my translator.
179
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,082
No, but wait, wait.
Listen, hey, hey.
180
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,618
I'm really excited
to meet you guys.
181
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:31,985
I think
this is going to be fun.
182
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,721
Healy's brother,
I can't wait to meet you.
183
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,656
It's fun, it's cool.
All right. All right.
184
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,625
Ga gak! Ga gak kak!
185
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,761
Yes, I'm still alive.
No thanks to you, dumbass.
186
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,963
That was just
some stupid earthling.
187
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,766
I do not give a shit if you
have to ask off of work, Roy!
188
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,434
This place is horrible.
189
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,170
I'm gonna push that we have
this entire planet destroyed.
190
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,240
What the hell
are you doing?!
191
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:56,877
Well, doctor, yes, yes.
192
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,780
Aliens are normal
to see every day.
193
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,351
My brother wanted me to tell you
"thank you" for helping me.
194
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,353
Why can't your brother
just thank me in person
195
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,621
when we're on
your home planet?
196
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,356
He said he's bringing
the smaller ship,
197
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,558
and you may not
fit inside.
198
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,359
Well, I can just
take less stuff.
199
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:13,761
Won't that fix
the problem?
200
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,663
There are many sandstorms
on my planet.
201
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,731
You will get a lot of sand
in your pad thai.
202
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,133
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you backing out on me?
203
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,035
Is that what I'm hearing
from you?
204
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:25,038
Hey, where do you guys think
you're going with that bod--
205
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,207
A lot of the beings
on my planet are racist.
206
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,943
You may have trouble finding
work with the way you look.
207
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:32,145
Well, I'll be fine,
as long there is no Satan.
208
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,683
What about Satan?
209
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,985
Who told you?
Was it Troy?
210
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,720
No, Troy has a speech
impediment.
211
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,723
Shut your corn hole!
212
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,992
Get that?
Corn hole?
213
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,860
Come with me.
214
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,400
This is
the Soul Shredder.
215
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,769
It'll shred your soul
for good.
216
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:59,607
Yeah, you fall in there,
you will cease to exist.
217
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,474
See ya, suckers!
218
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,610
Ha ha ha!
219
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,447
No, let me die!
220
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,016
Nice try, Eddie.
221
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,752
You gotta be
kidding me!
222
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,020
Healy, take a look.
223
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,589
Thought you might
like to see this.
224
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:19,526
No, Satan. Noooo!
225
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,194
Nooo!
226
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,997
No, Healy!
227
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,675
Whoa!
228
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:38,011
Hey, Healy, your little brother
brought the big ship anyways!
229
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,781
Tell him to beam me up, too!
I got all my shit!
230
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,984
See ya later, Gary.
It has been real.
231
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,886
-That's bullshit!
-Hey!
232
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,055
Let go of me.
You are not a good fit.
233
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,490
I'm coming with you anyway!
234
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:51,692
Also, I don't like you.
235
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,927
I demand immunity
236
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:57,597
by the name of the Galactic
Federation of Starfleet.
237
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,466
Sounds like some
made-up bullshit.
238
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:02,703
Your feet! You're cutting off
your damn feet!
239
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,137
Oh, don't worry.
They will grow back.
240
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:06,707
You promised!
241
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,508
You promised me
you'd take me with you!
242
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,110
You promised!
243
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,819
Don't you have,
like, a spell
244
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,387
that can clean
all this stuff up?
245
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,490
Yeah, I do, but I don't want to
take jobs away from people.
246
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,592
Yeah...
247
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,527
You said to him
"You promised."
248
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,829
Promised.
249
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:31,832
What, uh...
what did he promise?
250
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,466
I mean, 'cause it
looked to me
251
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,102
like you were
trying to escape.
252
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,137
Certainly not.
253
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:41,308
Why don't you drop trou
and tell me what he promised.
254
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,911
That finger's not
going to heal me, is it?
No.
255
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,947
Guess what, I'm not doing this
like I normally do.
256
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:47,948
Yeah?
257
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,217
I'm doing it
the Gary way.
258
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:53,954
**
259
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,898
Yeah, here comes
the airplane.
260
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,133
Looking for the hangar.
261
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,968
You want it less
because I want it?
18382
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