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1
00:00:04,488 --> 00:00:06,983
Here, Myrna. Take it down to
the paper right away, will you?
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,841
I got to rest a little bit. I got
to cover the hockey game.
3
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,087
Oh, boy! Oh, boy?
4
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:14,228
Is that ulcer hurting "Oh, boy"?
5
00:00:14,297 --> 00:00:16,414
Feels like I swallowed
the Middle East.
6
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:20,452
Are you going to have
dinner, or is that it?
7
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,401
Felix will be home soon.
He'll fix me something.
8
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,889
Go, will you? Bring it down.
9
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,419
You know Milt Dubin
down at the paper?
10
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,176
He died last week.
11
00:00:28,244 --> 00:00:29,878
I didn't know.
12
00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,280
Will you go already, Myrna?
13
00:00:32,349 --> 00:00:35,350
He was the obituary columnist.
14
00:00:35,418 --> 00:00:36,496
Myrna, they're waiting.
15
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,448
Keeled over in the
middle of writing up
16
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:39,938
somebody else's death.
17
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:42,024
They're waiting already!
18
00:00:42,092 --> 00:00:45,410
A complete stranger had
to write up his obituary.
19
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,528
You going to go?
20
00:00:46,596 --> 00:00:48,096
I'm going.
21
00:00:48,165 --> 00:00:51,032
You really ought
to slow down, Mr. M.
22
00:00:51,101 --> 00:00:53,463
I'd hate for anything
to happen to you.
23
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:56,938
Nobody else would hire me.
24
00:00:57,007 --> 00:00:59,173
Oh, hi, Mr. Unger.
25
00:00:59,242 --> 00:01:01,409
You look terrible.
26
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,161
Bye, Mr. Unger.
27
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,275
Hi, Felix. Listen, I
got to cover a game.
28
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,842
Make supper right
away, will you?
29
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:12,037
Oscar, I can't move.
30
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:15,774
Every bone in my body aches.
31
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:18,777
Even my earlobes ache.
32
00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:20,212
I know how you feel.
33
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:21,897
Oh... nobody knows.
34
00:01:21,965 --> 00:01:25,166
Eleven hours today.
35
00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:28,353
I photographed little
children eating breakfast food.
36
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:34,759
One tiny tyke
drooled on my ankle.
37
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:38,730
A heavyset kid rammed
his tow truck into my shin.
38
00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:43,601
And an angel-faced little girl
made sissy in my camera bag.
39
00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:49,402
Success has a hollow ring.
40
00:01:49,426 --> 00:01:51,193
My stomach has a hollow ring.
41
00:01:51,261 --> 00:01:52,594
Will you make supper already?
42
00:01:52,662 --> 00:01:54,908
Oh, Oscar, I can't
even think about supper.
43
00:01:56,499 --> 00:01:57,432
Get that, will you?
44
00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:00,736
Sure. Come in!
45
00:02:00,804 --> 00:02:03,364
It would take a miracle
to get me off this couch.
46
00:02:07,611 --> 00:02:10,295
Hello, my sons.
47
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,769
On November 13, Felix Unger
was asked to remove himself
48
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,905
from his place of residence.
49
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:22,608
That request came from his wife.
50
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,010
Deep down, he
knew she was right,
51
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:28,514
but he also knew that
someday he would return to her.
52
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,482
With nowhere else to go,
53
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,267
he appeared at the home
of his friend, Oscar Madison.
54
00:02:33,336 --> 00:02:34,535
Several years earlier,
55
00:02:34,605 --> 00:02:36,182
Madison's wife
had thrown him out,
56
00:02:36,206 --> 00:02:39,073
requesting that he never return.
57
00:02:39,142 --> 00:02:41,643
Can two divorced
men share an apartment
58
00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:43,828
without driving
each other crazy?
59
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,800
I'm Brother Ralph.
60
00:03:38,869 --> 00:03:41,269
I'm collecting for the
Brotherhood of Life Mission.
61
00:03:41,337 --> 00:03:42,637
I gave at the office.
62
00:03:42,706 --> 00:03:44,789
I'll just take a moment.
63
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,603
Once a year, the
Brotherhood of Life
64
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,605
goes around collecting
for our mission
65
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:49,895
in upstate New York.
66
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:52,614
Looks like a nice,
clean mission.
67
00:03:52,683 --> 00:03:54,382
Looks like the Alamo.
68
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,953
We're a nonsectarian group
69
00:03:58,021 --> 00:04:00,338
devoted to the
simpler things in life.
70
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,940
I'll tell you what I'll do.
71
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:03,141
I'll donate ten dollars
72
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,743
if you'll make me a
simple hamburger.
73
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,890
Oh, Oscar, this is a man...
74
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,596
I'll make supper.
75
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,032
I'd be glad to make
him something.
76
00:04:11,101 --> 00:04:13,046
You're both exhausted
from your quests
77
00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:14,564
in the world out there.
78
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,099
It's the least I can do.
79
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,272
You would make him a hamburger?
80
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:21,626
For a ten-dollar donation, I'd
make him chicken cacciatore.
81
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:24,645
Tell you what. Listen.
I like mustard, ketchup,
82
00:04:24,715 --> 00:04:26,247
Tabasco sauce, and some chili.
83
00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:27,248
No onions?
84
00:04:27,317 --> 00:04:29,334
No. I got an ulcer.
85
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,405
I got to run.
86
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,118
Oh, Oscar. Did
you ever, in your life,
87
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,841
see anyone with an
ulcer eat like that?
88
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,511
Yes. Me. Worse.
89
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,958
Your stomach is
worth more than that.
90
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,515
Oscar, you hear? Slow down!
91
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,061
Felix, the man is a monk.
92
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,519
What does he know about
deadlines and taxes and alimony?
93
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:48,664
Here's my donation. Thanks.
94
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:50,567
If you ever want to
go into society again,
95
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,735
you can get a job as a short-order
cook. You'd be very good.
96
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,761
There was a little too
much Tabasco sauce.
97
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,430
I had a regular job.
98
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,059
I was head of the Decker
Advertising Agency.
99
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,661
I had 1100 men under me.
100
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:05,737
You're Ralph Decker!
101
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,617
I did an ad for you
once! Remember?
102
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,024
The talking bra?
103
00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:14,195
Yes, yes.
104
00:05:14,264 --> 00:05:15,914
Gave it all up.
105
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:19,351
One day, I looked
out my office window,
106
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,486
and I saw a bluebird.
107
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:24,155
All I wanted to do in the world
108
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,458
was look at that bluebird.
109
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:29,410
I had a headache,
my eye twitched,
110
00:05:29,479 --> 00:05:31,424
I smoked five packs
of cigarettes a day.
111
00:05:31,448 --> 00:05:32,914
Every light on my phone was lit.
112
00:05:32,983 --> 00:05:34,916
I answered them:
one! two! three!
113
00:05:34,985 --> 00:05:39,387
And, when I was done,
the bluebird had vanished.
114
00:05:39,456 --> 00:05:42,774
That day, I packed up
115
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,811
for the Brotherhood of
Life for a month's retreat.
116
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,945
That was ten years ago.
117
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,947
You just quit.
118
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,916
Said good-bye
to the talking bra.
119
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:57,522
Well, I have some
more stops to make.
120
00:05:57,590 --> 00:06:00,492
Here. A little something
from the Felix Unger Studios:
121
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,327
portraits a specialty.
122
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:03,939
Oh, bless you, bless you.
123
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:05,774
And remember our brochure.
124
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:08,666
You may like to come up
and spend some time with us.
125
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,301
I still can't get over
126
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,586
that you came in here
and cooked our dinner.
127
00:06:12,656 --> 00:06:15,223
Well, the Lord travels
in mysterious ways.
128
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,874
Why not through hamburger?
129
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,177
Be well.
130
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:22,046
I can't keep my eyes open.
131
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,648
Did you see my blue tie, Felix?
132
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,082
Blue tie. You see it?
133
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,696
Where were you
working last? Desk.
134
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,698
That's where it's got
to be... at the desk.
135
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:29,654
Oh, you're right.
136
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,133
I used it to clean
my typewriter.
137
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:33,858
It's for you.
138
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:37,595
Hello. Yeah. Yes.
Yes, Mr. Topskin! Yes!
139
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:40,331
Oh, yeah, we put in a
good day's work today.
140
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,734
Yes, I love working
with the little people.
141
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,436
Sure. Yeah.
142
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,338
Well, I'll have the proofs on
your desk by noon tomorrow.
143
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:52,143
8:00 in the morning?
Well, that... that's outra...
144
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,990
Come on. I'll
have to work all...
145
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,415
Well, of course I want the job.
146
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,528
Yes, you'll have them
by 8:00 in the morning.
147
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,703
Good-bye, Mister...
Oscar, can you imagine?
148
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,722
Oscar! Hey! Hey!
149
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,032
Now they want this job finished
150
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,392
by 8:00 in the morning!
151
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:08,493
Can you imagine that?
152
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,162
Means I'll have
to work all night!
153
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,130
Take a pep pill.
That's all I can do.
154
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,744
After that, I'll take
a sleeping pill!
155
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,004
I'll take a diet pill.
156
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,105
What else can I do?
157
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:22,774
How the hell they...?
158
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,187
Stop! What's the matter?
159
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:25,476
Look at us!
160
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,790
We're running
around like lunatics.
161
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:28,224
We're losing our bluebird.
162
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,781
Out of my way, Felix. I'm late!
163
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:30,999
Oscar, I've made a decision.
164
00:07:31,068 --> 00:07:33,234
Tonight, you can find
me at Brother Ralph's,
165
00:07:33,303 --> 00:07:34,469
seeking contentment.
166
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:36,148
Tonight, you can find me
at Rhoda Zimmerman's,
167
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:37,572
seeking contentment.
168
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:42,927
And now, gentlemen,
169
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,997
for the next step
in our orientation,
170
00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:47,643
Brother Lou will call your name
171
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,979
and distribute your robes.
172
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,080
Once in your robe,
173
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,949
you'll be referred
to as Brother.
174
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,974
Tucker, H.
175
00:07:56,042 --> 00:08:00,178
Yes! I come here once a year
to get away from my factory!
176
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,296
What do you make? Megaphones!
177
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:07,802
My company is the largest
manufacturer of megaphones
178
00:08:07,871 --> 00:08:09,537
in the whole country!
179
00:08:09,606 --> 00:08:13,141
You know the majority
of your "sis-boom-bah's"
180
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:15,443
and your "rah-rah-rah's"
are shouted
181
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,606
through Millman megaphones?
182
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,029
How nice.
183
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:19,274
Millman, S.
184
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:20,665
Here!
185
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,294
See you later. Cheers!
186
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,853
How do you do? How do you do?
187
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,476
How do you do? Unger, Felix.
188
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,157
My name is now Brother Lowell.
189
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,931
Brother Lowell. What
business are you in?
190
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,750
I'm in shoes.
191
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,084
Ah! Manufacturing?
192
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,820
No. Shining.
193
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:44,200
I have a shoeshine
stand in Yonkers.
194
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,423
Really?
195
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,754
Yes. Some of us
still do it, you know.
196
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,043
Ah.
197
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,262
Unger, F.
198
00:08:51,315 --> 00:08:53,581
Excuse me. I'm Unger, F.
199
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:54,916
Thank you.
200
00:08:57,688 --> 00:08:59,549
Do you mind if I
ask you a question?
201
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,773
What is it, Unger, F.?
202
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,103
What do we wear
underneath these?
203
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,945
It doesn't matter. Nobody peeks.
204
00:09:23,947 --> 00:09:26,597
No wonder it took them
so long to copy the Bible.
205
00:09:29,519 --> 00:09:31,519
Oh. Hello.
206
00:09:31,588 --> 00:09:33,555
Everything all
right, Brother Felix?
207
00:09:33,623 --> 00:09:37,358
Yes. Yes. I was just
writing a postcard.
208
00:09:37,427 --> 00:09:40,528
I had the most wonderful
day today, Brother Ralph.
209
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:44,148
I stared at my
hand for two hours.
210
00:09:44,201 --> 00:09:47,435
I had forgotten the
beauty of my hand.
211
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,437
Very good.
212
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:52,240
Well, if you want
anything at all, just abstain.
213
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:58,612
Remember, your
inner self is you.
214
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,254
How true.
215
00:10:06,323 --> 00:10:09,156
How true.
216
00:10:09,226 --> 00:10:12,026
Hmm.
217
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:17,548
Actually, my foot is just
as interesting as my hand.
218
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,785
This little piggie
went to market.
219
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,587
This little piggie went home.
220
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,888
This little piggie...
221
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,194
Brother Oscar.
222
00:10:30,247 --> 00:10:33,381
So this is it, eh?
223
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:34,949
Yeah.
224
00:10:35,017 --> 00:10:36,618
What's the matter?
No room at the inn?
225
00:10:36,686 --> 00:10:38,264
Oh, Oscar, don't be a heathen.
226
00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:39,932
Well, what happened?
What changed you?
227
00:10:39,956 --> 00:10:42,268
What brought you here?
Did you see a vision?
228
00:10:42,292 --> 00:10:44,058
No, I saw the
X-ray of my ulcers.
229
00:10:44,127 --> 00:10:46,628
The doctor said either
I take a short rest now,
230
00:10:46,696 --> 00:10:48,363
or I take a long
rest permanently.
231
00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:50,309
Oh, boy. Not a very
spiritual reason, is it?
232
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:51,510
But you're going to have
233
00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,446
the most marvelous
experience here.
234
00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:55,164
Oscar, do you know
what I did today?
235
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:59,173
I stared at my
hand all day long.
236
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:02,110
The hand is an amazing
instrument, Oscar.
237
00:11:02,178 --> 00:11:04,289
Each finger can
move individually.
238
00:11:04,313 --> 00:11:05,975
Or they can move in unison.
239
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,449
Or in any combination.
240
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:13,571
Look. The thumb can
move with the pinky.
241
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,234
Or the forefinger
with the thumb.
242
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,036
Or with the pinky, or
in any combination.
243
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:18,126
You better cut it out.
244
00:11:18,194 --> 00:11:19,777
You won't be able
to use any fingers.
245
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:23,314
Mock if you will,
Oscar, but you'll find out
246
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:26,784
that contemplating your
hand can be very rewarding.
247
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,487
Yeah, only if it's
holding a can of beer.
248
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:32,034
Oscar, will you stop that?!
249
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:33,902
It's time to go
to bed... it's 8:00.
250
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,993
8:00 already?
251
00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:38,896
Gee, I'll have to take a
nap tomorrow morning.
252
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,463
Isn't there anything
to read? No.
253
00:11:43,487 --> 00:11:46,754
Felix, I can't go to
sleep without reading.
254
00:11:46,823 --> 00:11:48,301
No magazines in
the Brother John?
255
00:11:48,325 --> 00:11:51,926
Good night, my fellow man.
256
00:11:51,994 --> 00:11:54,362
I, too, am used to reading
before I go to sleep,
257
00:11:54,431 --> 00:11:56,230
but here we meditate and sleep.
258
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:59,000
You don't understand, Felix.
259
00:11:59,068 --> 00:12:00,988
I can't go to sleep
unless I read.
260
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:10,077
What are you doing?
261
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:11,979
Reading my toothpaste tube.
262
00:12:20,056 --> 00:12:21,417
Oscar? Yeah?
263
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,424
Can I read it when
you're finished?
264
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:33,663
As a special part of
our midweek dinner
265
00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,469
we ask each brother to share
266
00:12:35,539 --> 00:12:38,873
some moment of his
meditation with all of us.
267
00:12:38,942 --> 00:12:40,942
Brother Samuel, will you begin?
268
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,948
I stared at a flower today!
269
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,371
I stared at a flower today.
270
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,642
I don't think I've ever really
looked at a flower before,
271
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,827
but it was so beautiful.
272
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:03,531
I talked to the flower.
273
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,533
And all its petals blew off.
274
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,590
Thank you.
275
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,508
Uh, Brother Horace.
276
00:13:14,578 --> 00:13:16,761
Oh, I didn't meditate, per se.
277
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,547
I worked in the carpentry shop.
278
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:23,601
I'm in the military...
and I've made decisions
279
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:27,805
that have changed history
and won battles, per se,
280
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,607
but I have never known
281
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:33,745
the sense of accomplishment
that I felt today
282
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:37,381
when I requisitioned
some pieces of wood
283
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:41,201
and made one
small house, bird...
284
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:47,625
with these hands.
285
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:48,959
Would you care to inspect it?
286
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,961
May I?
287
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,446
Oh! Mmm...
288
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,132
Oscar, look... look.
See the little door?
289
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,577
And inside there's
a place for water.
290
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:56,812
I don't want to see it.
291
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,636
Oh, but the man
worked so hard at it.
292
00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:02,907
Oh, come on. Who wants
to look at a G.I. birdhouse?
293
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:07,578
Brother Felix, would you
share your revelations with us?
294
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,914
Gladly.
295
00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:13,784
Today... I watched
an anthill for five hours.
296
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:18,789
Can I look at the birdhouse?
297
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:22,693
Brother Felix has the
floor and our attention.
298
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:27,932
As I watched the ants,
I saw that one little ant
299
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,551
was having trouble
carrying his load.
300
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:34,355
The other ants
carried theirs with ease,
301
00:14:34,424 --> 00:14:35,722
scurrying to and fro,
302
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:41,262
but this one little fellow
couldn't handle his.
303
00:14:41,331 --> 00:14:44,799
I was rooting for him.
304
00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:46,900
I always root for the under-ant.
305
00:14:49,005 --> 00:14:50,070
Well...
306
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:53,807
he tugged and he
pulled and he pushed,
307
00:14:53,876 --> 00:14:56,277
but he just couldn't do it,
308
00:14:56,346 --> 00:15:01,031
and finally he shrugged
his shoulders and... gave up.
309
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:05,236
But the other ants did not
abandon their little friend.
310
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:10,707
They rushed to his side
and carried his crumb.
311
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,244
I thought that I, too,
312
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:18,583
should help my fellow
man carry his load.
313
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:20,251
Amen.
314
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,600
Here, here, Brother.
315
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:23,516
Brother Lowell?
316
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:27,725
Well, I just laid all day on
my cot, with eyes closed.
317
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,477
And he's the social director.
318
00:15:32,815 --> 00:15:33,864
Brother Oscar.
319
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,329
Oh, I don't have
anything to say, sir.
320
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:37,918
Don't be embarrassed.
321
00:15:37,987 --> 00:15:39,787
Surely there must be something
322
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:42,340
that's been on your
mind these past few days.
323
00:15:45,995 --> 00:15:48,195
Boy, do I miss Rhoda Zimmerman.
324
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:57,488
Yes. Well, uh, it's a start.
325
00:15:57,556 --> 00:16:02,559
And now I see by the old
shadow on the floor that...
326
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:06,563
it's time for unsupervised
communication.
327
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,438
Another interesting
thing about the ant...
328
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,240
Again with the ant?!
329
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,243
Brothers, let me tell you
my most inner thoughts.
330
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:22,513
I am bored. And I am going
to take these sugar cubes,
331
00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:24,410
and I am going to
make them into dice.
332
00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:26,734
Anybody who wants
a spiritual uplift,
333
00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:28,614
it will be floating in my room!
334
00:16:28,638 --> 00:16:29,721
This is blasphemy!
335
00:16:29,773 --> 00:16:31,550
Blasphemy! What
are you talking about?
336
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,018
The Lord giveth
and the Lord taketh.
337
00:16:33,042 --> 00:16:35,522
We're just gonna
find out how mucheth.
338
00:16:39,849 --> 00:16:42,450
I'm glad to see that all of
you have enough sense
339
00:16:42,519 --> 00:16:45,586
not to follow that pagan.
340
00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:47,588
Forget my ant.
341
00:16:47,657 --> 00:16:50,458
I'd like to tell you
my impressions
342
00:16:50,527 --> 00:16:53,928
of some clouds I saw today.
343
00:16:53,996 --> 00:16:56,864
Clouds that looked like flowers.
344
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,467
Clouds that looked like animals.
345
00:16:59,536 --> 00:17:02,754
And one cloud that looked
like a chicken salad sandwich.
346
00:17:02,806 --> 00:17:06,407
And though I know
it sounds clichéd,
347
00:17:06,475 --> 00:17:09,911
I actually saw the oft-mentioned
348
00:17:09,979 --> 00:17:11,996
cloud with a silver lining.
349
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,942
We don't have any money.
350
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,277
I'll write it on the parchment.
351
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,261
We'll play for "I.O.
Thou's," okay?
352
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,073
You! are the world's worst monk!
353
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,285
What are you talking about?
354
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,719
We're just going
to have some fun.
355
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,544
Fun, yes. Fun, all
right, but not like this.
356
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,452
All right, if you have to
have some excitement,
357
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,646
I'll tell you the big secret.
358
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:30,914
What?
359
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,585
Brother Lou accidentally
let it slip today.
360
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:35,586
What? It's a biggie.
361
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:36,587
What is it?!
362
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:37,888
Tomorrow...
363
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,940
we all get to take a
ride on the donkey.
364
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,223
Why don't you go back to
looking at your hand, see?
365
00:17:45,247 --> 00:17:47,526
See if you can get your
fingers to move in unison.
366
00:17:47,550 --> 00:17:49,394
See, you have them
close and make a fist.
367
00:17:49,418 --> 00:17:51,858
Then punch
yourself in the mouth.
368
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,672
Brother Oscar,
examine your psyche.
369
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,351
Oh, go examine an
ant hill or something.
370
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:59,810
Let her roll!
371
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,590
Nine! The loudmouth's
point is nine.
372
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,881
All right, come on, baby!
373
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,261
Brother needs a
new pair of sandals!
374
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,218
Psst, psst. Brother Ralph.
375
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,487
Eat the dice! Eat the dice!
376
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:12,035
I can't. I'm diabetic.
377
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:18,813
What have we here?
A mass meditation?
378
00:18:18,882 --> 00:18:21,282
I had to report you,
brothers, for your own good.
379
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:22,494
I'm sorry. It was my fault.
380
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,080
I started the game.
I was going crazy.
381
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,344
Would you please
all go to your cells?
382
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,775
Brother Oscar,
this is your cell.
383
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,978
We have to have
certain rules here
384
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,476
so that all can experience
what they came for.
385
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,167
Part of our goal here is
to create an atmosphere
386
00:18:40,236 --> 00:18:42,715
where each man can
meditate undisturbed
387
00:18:42,739 --> 00:18:44,149
by another man.
I know. I'm sorry.
388
00:18:44,173 --> 00:18:45,784
I guess I just
don't fit in here.
389
00:18:45,808 --> 00:18:47,019
Look, I'll pack and I'll leave.
390
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:49,527
I think you'd benefit
more by serving penance.
391
00:18:49,579 --> 00:18:51,623
Each brother took a
vow to stay a week.
392
00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:53,391
I'd hate to see
you break that vow.
393
00:18:53,415 --> 00:18:55,115
I think penance would do you
394
00:18:55,184 --> 00:18:57,250
a world of good, Brother Oscar.
395
00:18:57,319 --> 00:18:58,419
You're not a vow-breaker.
396
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:01,071
Okay. I'll serve penance, then.
397
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,352
Naturally you'll serve a
penance, too, Brother Felix.
398
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:04,542
Me? But why? I...
399
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,589
I know you weren't
indulging in the game,
400
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:09,747
but here we also frown on
men turning in their fellow man.
401
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,375
It's an unwritten commandment...
402
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,101
Thou shalt not fink.
403
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:18,088
Brother Lou is our
penance director.
404
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,624
Hmm. Brother Lou?
405
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,124
Hmm.
406
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:25,229
They will get up at
4:00 a.m. tomorrow
407
00:19:25,281 --> 00:19:27,547
and bake the bread.
408
00:19:27,616 --> 00:19:31,902
They will be
silent for 24 hours.
409
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:35,973
Three marks on the slate
for speaking and you fail.
410
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:44,042
Well, we'll get
the slates, then.
411
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:45,482
Not a very stiff penance.
412
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:46,832
Yeah, but you'll fail.
413
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,964
You can't keep your big
mouth shut for 24 hours.
414
00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:50,633
Go finking on your fellow man!
415
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:51,856
All right. I sinned once.
416
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:53,290
But I think I can keep silent
417
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,093
better than a weak-willed,
fun-crazed person I know.
418
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,773
Boy, I'm going to
get even with you.
419
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:58,841
I'm gonna make you speak.
420
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,464
Oh, is that, is that
your challenge,
421
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,600
Brother Madison,
monk of the messy?
422
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:06,236
Yes, Brother Unger,
saint of the stool pigeons!
423
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:09,006
Brother Lou will be
in listening distance
424
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,274
at all times.
425
00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:12,543
Remember, three
marks and that's it.
426
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,279
Your silence begins now.
427
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,614
Good night.
428
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:19,685
Good night.
429
00:20:30,013 --> 00:20:33,814
All right. The gambler
here, and the fink there.
430
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:40,971
And remember... no talking.
431
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:06,331
The blob!
432
00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:56,352
Why don't you bake your stomach?
433
00:22:06,309 --> 00:22:08,109
Gesundheit.
434
00:22:15,985 --> 00:22:17,451
It's a tie ball game.
435
00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:39,253
Look out! That's hot!
436
00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:42,926
I'm the one who talked.
437
00:22:52,889 --> 00:22:54,288
Thank you, Oscar.
438
00:22:57,894 --> 00:22:59,926
And that's three.
439
00:23:02,898 --> 00:23:04,181
Well, that was quick.
440
00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:07,918
We'll pack our things
and leave, Brother Ralph.
441
00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:09,653
We're... we're deeply ashamed.
442
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,104
Why are you leaving?
443
00:23:11,174 --> 00:23:13,285
Well, isn't that the
punishment for failing?
444
00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:16,777
No, there is no punishment.
445
00:23:16,846 --> 00:23:19,579
You failed at a task
and were forgiven.
446
00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,827
Possibly when you
go back out there
447
00:23:21,851 --> 00:23:24,584
your employees or
friends or loved ones
448
00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:27,921
may fail at something and
you won't be so hard on them.
449
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:30,274
People do fail, you know.
450
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:33,794
Well, if the bread's ready,
uh... why don't you wash up?
451
00:23:33,863 --> 00:23:35,062
We'll have breakfast.
452
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,267
Oh, Oscar, what...
453
00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:42,281
what a beautiful
lesson we learned.
454
00:23:42,305 --> 00:23:43,353
What?
455
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:46,891
We learned the
lesson of forgiveness.
456
00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:49,827
And the Big Man up
there looking down
457
00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:52,107
sees a new Felix
and a new Oscar!
458
00:23:52,131 --> 00:23:54,965
Come on! now, don't
turn into a religious fanatic.
459
00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:58,201
The Big Man up there doesn't
even know Oscar and Felix.
460
00:24:16,172 --> 00:24:17,282
Here comes Brother Oscar.
461
00:24:17,306 --> 00:24:19,284
Now remember, he's had no fun.
462
00:24:19,308 --> 00:24:20,441
He's been very depressed,
463
00:24:20,509 --> 00:24:21,520
Nobody would eat his bread.
464
00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:23,109
He failed "no talk,"
465
00:24:23,178 --> 00:24:24,956
He's been reading
everybody's toothpaste.
466
00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:27,031
So let's show him
that we're fun guys.
467
00:24:27,083 --> 00:24:28,115
We'll give him a boost.
468
00:24:28,184 --> 00:24:29,783
Hi, Brothers.
469
00:24:33,322 --> 00:24:34,602
What's going on here?
470
00:24:40,762 --> 00:24:44,098
♪ Brotherhood of
life, that is our name ♪
471
00:24:44,166 --> 00:24:47,200
♪ Contemplation and
reflection, yes, that is our game ♪
472
00:24:47,270 --> 00:24:50,837
♪ If you're feeling beat,
come to our retreat ♪
473
00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:54,275
♪ And you'll surely meet
someone who feels the same ♪
474
00:24:54,343 --> 00:24:57,344
♪ Until you ignore
your former pessimiz ♪
475
00:24:57,413 --> 00:25:00,814
♪ Undemanding, understanding,
yes, that's all there is ♪
476
00:25:00,883 --> 00:25:04,151
♪ If you want to live,
then you've got to give ♪
477
00:25:04,220 --> 00:25:05,864
♪ Your fellow man
a helping hand ♪
478
00:25:05,888 --> 00:25:08,305
♪ And he will
probably offer his. ♪
479
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:14,361
Where's the donkey?
32377
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