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1
00:00:01,709 --> 00:00:03,878
BAILEY: I love
the Natural History Museum.
2
00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:06,673
{\an8}This is where
ancient dead stuff comes alive.
3
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:10,760
{\an8}Leave us! Go explore.
We're going to be in the coffee shop.
4
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,345
{\an8}But be back here at 2:00 p.m. sharp.
5
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:13,721
{\an8}Have fun, learn things.
6
00:00:13,721 --> 00:00:15,098
{\an8}I make no promises.
7
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,393
{\an8}I just don't get why you're excited
about a bunch of bones.
8
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,644
{\an8}They're fossils.
9
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,771
{\an8}Sediment replacing the soft bone,
10
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:24,524
{\an8}turning it into stone
over millions of years.
11
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,276
What can be more fun?
12
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,820
Bailey. We're at a museum on a Saturday.
13
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,363
(ENUNCIATING) Saturday!
14
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:33,324
- I know. We're so lucky.
- (GROANS)
15
00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,493
Finally, some girl time.
16
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:39,580
Now we can talk about
the best reality baking show ever.
17
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:42,125
BOTH: The Crazy Cockney Cakeoff!
18
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:47,505
(IN COCKNEY ACCENT) Oi! Me shortbread!
Oi! Me pudding! Oi! Me eggs!
19
00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:49,632
He's just so good at being bad.
20
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:50,717
Oi.
21
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,096
Behold, the tyrant lizard king.
22
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,431
Or T. rex.
23
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,808
Whatever.
I fought an otter bigger than that.
24
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,643
But has it been fossilized?
25
00:01:01,477 --> 00:01:03,313
Look, that's Dr. Horsegobble.
26
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,315
He's like the rock star
of the fossil world.
27
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,816
This museum is named after him.
28
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:08,943
Rock star is a strong word.
29
00:01:09,485 --> 00:01:11,612
Ah, young people.
Study hard and one day,
30
00:01:11,612 --> 00:01:14,115
you too can have a career
digging holes in the ground.
31
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,909
He talked to us.
I'll never wash these ears again.
32
00:01:16,909 --> 00:01:20,913
There are more dead things on display
next door in the hall of dinosaurs.
33
00:01:20,913 --> 00:01:22,123
(SIGHS)
34
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:23,833
- Lunch?
- Sure.
35
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,626
Digging up dead things makes me hungry.
36
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,088
ALIEN 1: Oops!
37
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:31,466
ALIEN 2: What did you do?
ALIEN 1: I was texting.
38
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,760
ALIEN 2: You're not
supposed to text while flying.
39
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,678
ALIEN 1: I wasn't flying.
I was hovering.
40
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,186
WOMAN: Horsegobble!
41
00:01:44,645 --> 00:01:45,646
(YAWNING)
42
00:01:45,646 --> 00:01:47,857
Lookit, Gretel, the paleontologists
43
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:51,361
use metallic joints
to connect the vertebrae to steel pylons
44
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,613
that keep it elevated on its display.
45
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,740
Yeah, yeah. Steel pythons.
46
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,409
Uh-oh. Bailey, stay close. Hero hunch.
47
00:01:58,951 --> 00:02:00,870
WOMAN: Horsegobble!
48
00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:04,582
Get ready to feel my wrath!
49
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,963
(SKELETONS ROARING)
50
00:02:10,963 --> 00:02:12,215
(SCREAMS)
51
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,967
Okay, we've reached
the point in the tour
52
00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:17,345
where everyone
should run for their lives.
53
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:18,721
And feel free to scream.
54
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,890
(ALL SCREAMING)
55
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,976
MAN IN TV SHOW: Oi!
56
00:02:23,976 --> 00:02:26,771
BOTH: He just
can't get the toffee right.
57
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:30,108
Seal the building.
No one leaves until I find him.
58
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,194
Ooh, we are so lucky.
59
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,072
Dinosaur bones
usually don't come to life like this.
60
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,616
They don't look very happy, though.
We'll need some backup.
61
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:39,867
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
62
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:42,954
Hey, Gretel, did you know that
hollandaise sauce is not from Holland?
63
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,956
Anyway, I'm making eggs. Oi, me eggs!
64
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,791
No one cares, Kevin. We're at the museum
65
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:48,876
and we're under attack
by living skeletons.
66
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,171
Hamster. Museum. Go!
67
00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,256
Wow!
68
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,049
No "please." Okay.
69
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:57,135
I'm coming.
I just gotta put real clothes on.
70
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,470
- You're still in your pajamas.
- It's Saturday.
71
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:02,223
- (ENUNCIATING) Saturday.
- GRETEL: That's what I said.
72
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,433
(BEEPS)
73
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:04,642
WOMAN: Raptors.
74
00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:07,228
Bring me Horsegobble.
75
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:10,231
I'll tear this museum apart
brick by brick
76
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:13,484
until I find wherever he's cowering.
77
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,111
- Julie?
- Oh, there he is.
78
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,072
Julie Jennings?
But you disappeared in...
79
00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,240
The tar pits.
80
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,535
I know. I was there for 30 years!
81
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,954
- And now it's your turn.
- (SKELETONS SNARLING)
82
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:28,958
Ooh, they recognize each other. Drama!
83
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,419
Drama aside,
let's get you out of the line of fire.
84
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,713
Stay here. Back in a bit.
85
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,340
Yeah, I'm not sure
hanging suspended from a ceiling
86
00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,634
is safer than hiding behind a planter.
87
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:40,678
(PANTING)
88
00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:44,140
Now, Julie,
I'm sure we can talk this out.
89
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:47,935
Now you want to talk?
After what you did? Get him, boy.
90
00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:49,604
(SCREAMS)
91
00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:52,648
Hey! Leave that nice museum man alone.
92
00:03:52,648 --> 00:03:54,484
Nice museum man?
93
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,152
Ha! You know nothing.
94
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,821
- (SNARLS)
- (GRUNTS)
95
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,074
- (GRUNTING)
- (SNARLING)
96
00:04:02,074 --> 00:04:04,911
I'm calling in reinforcements!
97
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,955
(ROARING)
98
00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:10,124
Yeah, the planter was definitely safer.
99
00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,961
(SCREAMING)
100
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:15,046
(GASPS)
101
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,214
Gretel!
102
00:04:16,797 --> 00:04:18,674
- (GASPS AND SCREAMS)
- Bailey!
103
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:21,511
(CHUCKLES)
104
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:25,556
(GRUNTS)
105
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,600
(SKELETONS SNARLING)
106
00:04:28,684 --> 00:04:31,145
- Thanks for the assist, Hamster.
- No problem.
107
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,064
Now that that's done, gift shop?
108
00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:36,484
(GASPS)
109
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:39,362
(ROARING)
110
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,202
- GRETEL: Hamster!
- (GRUNTS)
111
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:49,121
MAN: Oi! Me shepherd's pie
has no shepherds in it.
112
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:51,165
(ROARING)
113
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,961
That's it.
Keep her out of my hair, Susan.
114
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,295
Susan? Who's Susan?
115
00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:59,340
The T. rex skeleton.
I named her when I dug her up.
116
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,884
Wait. You dug her up?
I thought that was Horsegobble.
117
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:03,803
That's why I'm angry!
118
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,181
Here, Susan.
119
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:10,142
Fetch. (GRUNTS)
120
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,980
- (SUSAN GRUNTS)
- I don't know what I was expecting.
121
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,732
Susan's brain was the size of a walnut
when she had one,
122
00:05:16,732 --> 00:05:18,859
and now she's just an empty skull.
123
00:05:18,859 --> 00:05:20,611
Your reign of...
124
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:23,781
whatever it is you're doing, stops now.
125
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:26,534
Mind your own business,
little girl! (WHISTLES)
126
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:31,372
I'm not stopping till I get my revenge.
127
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,207
- Find Horsegobble!
- (ROARING)
128
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,546
- Who's Horsegobble?
- He's the guy who founded this museum.
129
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,715
- Weren't you paying attention?
- I was not.
130
00:05:41,465 --> 00:05:43,551
Sorry. Got lost in the gift shop.
131
00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:45,303
Time to break some bones.
132
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,138
{\an8}(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
133
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,264
{\an8}(GRUNTS)
134
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,145
- WOMAN: (SINGING) Hey
- You better back off quick
135
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,315
- Hey
- What are you, a lunatic?
136
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,109
- Hey
- I know you think you're slick
137
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:03,988
But listen up
I've got a bone to pick with you
138
00:06:09,785 --> 00:06:12,580
- Hey
- I've got a brand new trick
139
00:06:13,205 --> 00:06:15,708
I may speak softly
But I carry a big stick
140
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,419
- Hey
- This may be impolitic
141
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:22,340
But it'll hit you like a brick
I got a bone to pick with you
142
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:29,013
You better back off quick
I got a bone to pick with you
143
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,140
We've thrown everything
at these bone bags,
144
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:34,060
- but they keep on coming.
- Well, at least my mug is safe.
145
00:06:35,519 --> 00:06:37,104
{\an8}And they broke my mug.
146
00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:38,814
I am disappointed.
147
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:40,858
(BEEP)
148
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,110
Kevin, how are we gonna
stop these things?
149
00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,488
- KEVIN: Do they have any weaknesses?
- Weaknesses?
150
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,074
They're just bones
connected with steel joints.
151
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,992
(SNARLING)
152
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:52,244
Excuse me. I'm on the phone.
153
00:06:52,244 --> 00:06:53,371
(WHIMPERING)
154
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,955
KEVIN: Steel poles, let me think.
155
00:06:54,955 --> 00:06:57,458
They're shiny,
they're strong, they're magnetic.
156
00:06:57,458 --> 00:07:00,753
Magnetic. That's it. Bailey. Do you know
where we can get a big magnet?
157
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:01,879
Yeah, I do.
158
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:04,173
Hamster. Come with me
to the Applied Science wing.
159
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:09,095
Okay, here's the magnet,
but the battery is just for display.
160
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,429
It's made of cardboard.
161
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:11,555
Don't worry.
162
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,811
- That was fast.
- I know a guy.
163
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,062
{\an8}(HORNS HONKING)
164
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:21,607
How does my battery go missing
in the middle of the freeway?
165
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:25,528
(SNARLING)
166
00:07:29,865 --> 00:07:31,283
(WHIMPERING)
167
00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:34,412
You can throw them
in the employee cafeteria.
168
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:37,164
The tour guide said no one
in their right mind would eat there.
169
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,583
Now, let's save Horsegobble.
170
00:07:39,583 --> 00:07:41,168
(PANTING)
171
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,421
(WHIMPERING)
172
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,842
(ROARING)
173
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,594
You took everything, Melvin.
174
00:07:50,594 --> 00:07:54,473
You made me extinct
and took away my legacy.
175
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:56,976
Now I'm going to return the favor.
176
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,228
(ROARS)
177
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,021
(DR. MEDUSASAURUS SCREAMING)
178
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,984
(WHIMPERS)
179
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:08,320
Hey, MedusaSaurus. What's your deal?
180
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,156
My name's not MedusaSaurus.
181
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:14,326
It's Dr. Julie Jennings, Ph.D.
182
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:18,497
I wasn't always a woman
with dinosaur bones for hair.
183
00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:22,793
I used to be a normal paleontologist
with really great hair.
184
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,839
Late one night,
while excavating my latest find,
185
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:30,384
I fell into a puddle of tar
and industrial waste.
186
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:36,182
Industrial waste carelessly spilled
by my lazy intern.
187
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:40,060
The toxic waste somehow put me
into a state of suspended animation,
188
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:42,521
preserving me
like a fossil trapped in amber.
189
00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:45,816
When I woke up all these decades later,
190
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:49,195
I looked like this
and had these strange powers.
191
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,573
Oops! That was at a paleontology
convention in the '80s.
192
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,784
- Where'd you get that projector?
- Not important.
193
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:59,079
While I was buried,
that intern stole my work, my fossils,
194
00:08:59,079 --> 00:09:02,166
and they named
the whole museum after him.
195
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:06,462
- (GASPS)
- And that intern was Melvin Horsegobble.
196
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,131
(ALL GASP)
197
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,550
And he couldn't even make coffee.
198
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,802
(ALL GASP)
199
00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:16,889
- That's an intern's most important job!
- You just press the button!
200
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,224
No!
201
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,559
I've learned to make coffee since then.
202
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,561
So you're not a villain then?
203
00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:25,523
No, I was just trying to take back
the life he stole from me,
204
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:30,069
have my dinosaur eat him, and finally
take a shower after 30 years.
205
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,071
- Make things right.
- Give her her life back.
206
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,365
- She deserves a shower.
- She looks clean to me.
207
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,908
We'll agree to disagree.
208
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,744
Julie, I'm so sorry
for the things I did.
209
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,247
Being so clumsy,
210
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:44,250
the not knowing how to make coffee
211
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,085
and the toxic waste.
212
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,670
It was an accident.
213
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:51,006
Taking credit for my life's work,
was that an accident?
214
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:54,844
Well, that was on purpose.
But I am sorry.
215
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:58,097
Talk's cheap, Horsegobble.
How are you gonna make it up to her?
216
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,266
I'll do anything!
217
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,268
Anything, huh?
218
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:08,023
2:00 p.m. on top of the dot.
219
00:10:08,023 --> 00:10:09,149
You girls have fun?
220
00:10:09,149 --> 00:10:12,152
I mean, it's probably
no Crazy Cockney Cakeoff, but...
221
00:10:12,152 --> 00:10:13,362
Nothing is.
222
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:16,365
Actually, it was way more exciting
than I thought it was gonna be.
223
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:18,242
Here's your coffee, Doctor.
224
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,786
I think I've finally got it right.
225
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,788
- Needs more foam.
- (GROANS)
226
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,501
Did that woman
have dinosaur bones for hair?
227
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,545
Yeah, but she makes it work.
228
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:30,880
Oi.
229
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,590
Hey, what happened to Kevin?
230
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,050
Yeah, he should've been here by now.
231
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:38,554
No, I don't know what happened
to my battery, but I have my suspicions.
232
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,806
Anyway, can I have
extra cheese pepperoni on half?
233
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,267
{\an8}Deliver to the stalled minivan
on the freeway. Thanks.
234
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,060
{\an8}- (PEOPLE YELLING)
- (HORNS HONKING)
235
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,397
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
236
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:00,576
MAN: (SINGING) Hamster and Gretel
237
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,460
It's Hamster
238
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,253
Hamster and Gretel
239
00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:15,853
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