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1
00:00:00,916 --> 00:00:04,752
??
2
00:00:05,877 --> 00:00:08,745
I can't believe this is
our last calculus class.
3
00:00:08,740 --> 00:00:10,072
Well, don't worry.
4
00:00:10,071 --> 00:00:11,204
If it's anything like the others,
5
00:00:11,203 --> 00:00:12,803
it'll feel like a lifetime.
6
00:00:12,801 --> 00:00:14,667
[LAUGHS]
7
00:00:14,665 --> 00:00:17,732
I'm going to miss all your little jokes,
Steve Smith.
8
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,327
I still can't believe
you're about to graduate.
9
00:00:20,323 --> 00:00:23,058
And follow Billie Eilish on tour!
10
00:00:23,053 --> 00:00:24,452
So cool!
11
00:00:24,451 --> 00:00:25,784
I'm hoping to meet her
12
00:00:25,783 --> 00:00:28,650
'cause I think she knows
who my real dad is.
13
00:00:28,645 --> 00:00:30,111
I know it's the last day,
14
00:00:30,109 --> 00:00:32,910
but I'm gonna have to
reteach you everything!
15
00:00:32,905 --> 00:00:34,972
I just found out that at the
start of the school year,
16
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:37,102
one of my colleagues
pranked me and switched
17
00:00:37,099 --> 00:00:40,100
my teacher's edition with
one full of bullshit,
18
00:00:40,095 --> 00:00:42,162
and that's what I've been
teaching you all year.
19
00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,293
Thank God none of us were
paying attention, am I right?
20
00:00:45,287 --> 00:00:47,421
- [LAUGHTER]
- That's it.
21
00:00:47,418 --> 00:00:50,085
You guys don't respect me,
I don't make squat,
22
00:00:50,081 --> 00:00:52,215
and I have to cram for my
test on the milkshake machine
23
00:00:52,212 --> 00:00:54,746
before my shift at Bobby Freeze,
24
00:00:54,742 --> 00:00:58,230
which starts in nine minutes?!
25
00:00:59,734 --> 00:01:01,800
Hey, are you going to
26
00:01:01,797 --> 00:01:04,332
Vince Chung's
end-of-the-year bash tonight?
27
00:01:04,328 --> 00:01:05,727
I doubt it.
28
00:01:05,726 --> 00:01:06,992
His party is invite-only
29
00:01:06,991 --> 00:01:09,124
and he only liked me when I had boobs.
30
00:01:09,121 --> 00:01:10,787
[LAUGHS]
31
00:01:10,785 --> 00:01:14,521
Tell you what, since you've
been making me laugh all year
32
00:01:14,514 --> 00:01:15,779
and it is our last week together
33
00:01:15,778 --> 00:01:17,778
before I follow Billie on the road,
34
00:01:17,775 --> 00:01:21,377
if you do show up to Vince
Chung's party tonight...
35
00:01:21,370 --> 00:01:24,637
I'll give you a handjob...
36
00:01:24,631 --> 00:01:26,499
[ECHOING] Handjob...
37
00:01:26,497 --> 00:01:28,630
Handjob...
38
00:01:28,626 --> 00:01:31,727
Handjob...
39
00:01:35,816 --> 00:01:38,416
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
40
00:01:38,412 --> 00:01:42,148
? I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ?
41
00:01:42,141 --> 00:01:45,342
? The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ?
42
00:01:45,336 --> 00:01:49,906
? And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ?
43
00:01:51,661 --> 00:01:54,995
? Oh, boy, it's swell to say ?
44
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:57,523
- ? Good... ?
- ? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
45
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,718
Aah!
46
00:01:59,916 --> 00:02:03,251
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
47
00:02:03,245 --> 00:02:04,977
This is it, man!
48
00:02:04,974 --> 00:02:06,974
It's finally happening for you!
49
00:02:06,972 --> 00:02:09,907
You're going to become a man!
50
00:02:09,901 --> 00:02:11,234
I'm not gonna lie, Snot.
51
00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:12,965
When you got bar mitzvah'd last year
52
00:02:12,963 --> 00:02:16,031
and became a man the Jewish way,
I was very jealous.
53
00:02:16,026 --> 00:02:19,961
And now it's your turn to do
it one of the Christian ways.
54
00:02:19,953 --> 00:02:22,687
But how are we gonna get an
invite to Vince Chung's party?
55
00:02:22,682 --> 00:02:24,616
It'd be one thing if Barry were here.
56
00:02:24,614 --> 00:02:26,080
Vince Chung loves Barry.
57
00:02:26,078 --> 00:02:28,879
Apparently if you witness
one murder at Taco Bell
58
00:02:28,874 --> 00:02:31,875
with someone,
it creates some sort of "bond."
59
00:02:31,870 --> 00:02:35,605
Too bad he and Toshi already
left for summer horse camp.
60
00:02:35,598 --> 00:02:36,864
I'll text him.
61
00:02:36,863 --> 00:02:38,929
I'm warning you bud, if you text
62
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:43,129
Barry at camp, you're just gonna
get a hundred horse photos.
63
00:02:49,311 --> 00:02:51,512
What a ride, Pepper!
64
00:02:51,509 --> 00:02:53,642
This is why we do it, Tosh.
65
00:02:53,638 --> 00:02:55,839
The union of man and beast.
66
00:02:55,836 --> 00:02:59,905
Sometimes I don't know where
I end and my horse begins.
67
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:02,355
_
68
00:03:02,693 --> 00:03:05,293
[BELL RINGS]
69
00:03:05,288 --> 00:03:07,556
You guys? No way!
70
00:03:07,553 --> 00:03:10,086
Only cools get to go to my party, bros.
71
00:03:10,082 --> 00:03:13,618
Oh, dude,
you're the guy who caught that bird
72
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,478
with your bare hand in PE class.
73
00:03:16,473 --> 00:03:19,741
Please come to my bash.
74
00:03:19,735 --> 00:03:22,536
Vince, please,
it's the difference between my friend
75
00:03:22,531 --> 00:03:24,063
becoming a man or not.
76
00:03:24,062 --> 00:03:25,462
Tell you what, I'll let you guys
77
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:28,128
come to my party under one condition.
78
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,924
You bring a keg...
79
00:03:29,922 --> 00:03:32,388
of Og 4LOCO!
80
00:03:32,384 --> 00:03:35,051
[LAUGHS]
81
00:03:35,046 --> 00:03:38,982
Okay, we just have to get a keg
of Og 4LOCO, whatever that is.
82
00:03:38,975 --> 00:03:40,374
- [TOILET FLUSHES]
- [LAUGHS]
83
00:03:40,372 --> 00:03:43,774
You think you two nerds
can get a keg of Og 4LOCO?
84
00:03:43,768 --> 00:03:46,168
The one with caffeine,
taurine, and guarana?
85
00:03:46,164 --> 00:03:47,563
Yes?
86
00:03:47,562 --> 00:03:48,896
I happen to know there's only one place
87
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,628
within a 100-mile radius that has it.
88
00:03:51,623 --> 00:03:55,425
A dirty dive bar in
Chimdale called XXXX.
89
00:03:55,418 --> 00:03:57,085
That's four X's.
90
00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:59,816
It used to be called XXX in
honor of the Vin Diesel movie,
91
00:03:59,811 --> 00:04:01,811
but they got into trouble
with Columbia Pictures
92
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:04,542
and had to add the extra X.
93
00:04:04,538 --> 00:04:05,804
- Oh.
- Good luck buying
94
00:04:05,803 --> 00:04:07,737
a keg there underage.
95
00:04:07,734 --> 00:04:09,600
It's a fake ID graveyard.
96
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,797
Even the ones I sell don't work there.
97
00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:13,594
Alright, see you chodes later.
98
00:04:13,592 --> 00:04:15,125
I'm off to eavesdrop on more students
99
00:04:15,123 --> 00:04:17,257
and spread more dangerous legends.
100
00:04:17,254 --> 00:04:18,720
Alright, you heard him.
101
00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:21,652
If we're going to make you a man,
we need real IDs.
102
00:04:21,647 --> 00:04:24,515
I think it's time we
talk to my uncle Roger.
103
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:25,975
They're so cool. I wish...
104
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,442
Mark McKenzie, you talking switchblades?
105
00:04:28,438 --> 00:04:30,371
The ice cream man will sell you one
106
00:04:30,368 --> 00:04:32,435
if you know the secret password...
107
00:04:32,432 --> 00:04:33,832
"butterball."
108
00:04:37,786 --> 00:04:39,958
Hey, Roger, I...
109
00:04:39,955 --> 00:04:42,622
Huh, I know
he's usually out doing stuff,
110
00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:45,618
but he's usually also here.
111
00:04:45,613 --> 00:04:47,413
Steve-O, what up, chode?!
112
00:04:47,411 --> 00:04:48,810
I need your help.
113
00:04:48,808 --> 00:04:50,542
- Can you get me...
- No can do, I'm busy.
114
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,940
I finally figured out how to
get rid of all my Kohl's cash
115
00:04:52,936 --> 00:04:55,804
gift cards without having
to buy anything from Kohl's.
116
00:04:55,799 --> 00:04:58,132
- Later, chode!
- No, Rog...
117
00:04:58,129 --> 00:04:59,515
[GROANS]
118
00:05:01,590 --> 00:05:04,591
I know where we can get IDs, Snot.
119
00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:06,986
But I'd be breaking a
promise I made to my uncle.
120
00:05:06,982 --> 00:05:08,916
If my dad taught me anything,
121
00:05:08,914 --> 00:05:13,583
breaking promises is a
huge part of being a man.
122
00:05:13,573 --> 00:05:17,108
Gosh, your uncle really
has some unique outfits!
123
00:05:17,102 --> 00:05:18,835
Uh, it's nothing weird,
124
00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:20,500
he just likes to shop at thrift stores
125
00:05:20,498 --> 00:05:21,763
and buy dead people's clothes
126
00:05:21,761 --> 00:05:23,161
because sometimes they
have wallets in them.
127
00:05:23,258 --> 00:05:24,444
Oh.
128
00:05:25,623 --> 00:05:26,889
Bingo.
129
00:05:26,888 --> 00:05:29,155
And these adult clothes
will make us look older
130
00:05:29,152 --> 00:05:30,551
than our little boy clothes.
131
00:05:30,549 --> 00:05:33,684
We're going to do this Steve,
I can feel it.
132
00:05:33,679 --> 00:05:38,348
A girl is gonna rub your penis
until you orgasm tonight.
133
00:05:43,531 --> 00:05:46,332
What the hell do you
think you're doing?!
134
00:05:48,258 --> 00:05:50,324
You don't have to show ID, Clint!
135
00:05:50,321 --> 00:05:52,387
Anyone with Clint is
probably an asshole,
136
00:05:52,384 --> 00:05:54,585
but you can come in too!
137
00:05:54,659 --> 00:05:55,849
Hey, everybody!
138
00:05:55,857 --> 00:05:59,581
Look what the ol' Ferret dragged in!
139
00:05:59,574 --> 00:06:01,574
TOGETHER: Clint!
140
00:06:01,571 --> 00:06:03,038
I thought you died!
141
00:06:03,036 --> 00:06:05,103
Steve, what's happening?
142
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,966
Roger's personas...
143
00:06:06,964 --> 00:06:08,497
They're working on us!
144
00:06:08,495 --> 00:06:12,363
Hey, everybody, drinks are on
us if this credit card works!
145
00:06:12,356 --> 00:06:13,623
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
146
00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:16,389
MAN: That's kind of a big "if"
though, right?
147
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:23,615
Clint, I should kick your
ass for cheating me at pool
148
00:06:23,608 --> 00:06:26,541
and stealing my truck last time.
149
00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:29,137
But now that I'm walking everywhere,
150
00:06:29,132 --> 00:06:30,665
my diabetes cleared up
151
00:06:30,664 --> 00:06:34,266
and I'm in the best shape of my life!
152
00:06:34,259 --> 00:06:36,860
Carrot stick?
153
00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:40,391
I don't get why the whole bar
thinks I'm this guy Clint.
154
00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:42,650
Listen, the good news is for some reason
155
00:06:42,646 --> 00:06:43,979
they really believe we're adults,
156
00:06:43,978 --> 00:06:47,180
which means buying this keg
is going to be super easy.
157
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,573
Excuse me!
158
00:06:48,572 --> 00:06:50,839
- I'd like to buy a keg of...
- ๏ฟฝo kegs today!
159
00:06:50,836 --> 00:06:53,502
Dave's the only one with
the key to the keg fridge.
160
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,697
- What?
- What?
161
00:06:54,696 --> 00:06:59,166
Our owner Dave has the only key.
162
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,622
And he's at his friend's wedding.
163
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,555
That's obviously not
the wedding he's at now,
164
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,752
but no doubt it gets my point across.
165
00:07:04,749 --> 00:07:07,416
How many weddings are on Friday night?
166
00:07:07,411 --> 00:07:08,877
There must be a way to find it.
167
00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:10,409
PRINCIPAL LEWIS: I know where it is!
168
00:07:10,407 --> 00:07:11,940
I couldn't help but overhear you
169
00:07:11,938 --> 00:07:13,805
because I've been eavesdropping
on people a lot lately.
170
00:07:13,803 --> 00:07:17,471
Not only do I know where the wedding is,
I'm going myself.
171
00:07:17,464 --> 00:07:20,398
See, me and my buddy,
we like to wedding crash...
172
00:07:20,393 --> 00:07:21,993
like the movie.
173
00:07:21,991 --> 00:07:24,391
So when I heard Dave talking
about a wedding the other day,
174
00:07:24,387 --> 00:07:25,853
I locked it away.
175
00:07:25,852 --> 00:07:28,120
The Ramada on Fifth and...
176
00:07:28,116 --> 00:07:29,515
something.
177
00:07:29,514 --> 00:07:31,847
Eh, if we drive down Fifth long enough,
we'll find it.
178
00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:34,411
Hit the ocean, we've gone too far!
179
00:07:36,304 --> 00:07:38,104
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
180
00:07:38,102 --> 00:07:39,434
There's a phone in my jacket.
181
00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:41,467
Silent mode this bad boy.
182
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,760
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]
183
00:07:45,758 --> 00:07:48,158
Steve,
don't you think it's a little weird
184
00:07:48,154 --> 00:07:50,220
that Lewis doesn't recognize us?
185
00:07:50,217 --> 00:07:51,684
Yeah! I do.
186
00:07:51,682 --> 00:07:52,882
Now relax.
187
00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:59,551
? Don't let the sun go down on me ?
188
00:07:59,537 --> 00:08:02,472
? Although I search myself ?
189
00:08:02,467 --> 00:08:06,736
TOGETHER:
? It's always someone else I see ?
190
00:08:06,728 --> 00:08:12,065
? I'd just allow a
fragment of your life ?
191
00:08:12,054 --> 00:08:16,723
? To wander free ?
192
00:08:16,714 --> 00:08:19,114
? Oh-ho! ?
193
00:08:21,241 --> 00:08:23,307
Whoa, a new flavor!
194
00:08:23,304 --> 00:08:25,638
Green tea with Moroccan mint!
195
00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:28,101
Should we buy it instead of our usual
196
00:08:28,097 --> 00:08:30,031
green tea with peach and lemongrass?
197
00:08:30,028 --> 00:08:31,760
Maybe we buy both?
198
00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:32,957
Buy both?!
199
00:08:32,956 --> 00:08:35,290
Sure, why don't we buy
some fruit punch too?!
200
00:08:35,286 --> 00:08:37,553
We're supposed to be saving for a house
201
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,550
to show your dad we're responsible.
202
00:08:39,547 --> 00:08:42,015
And you want to double our tea budget?
203
00:08:42,011 --> 00:08:44,277
And I said, "make it 10 bucks
204
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,074
and I'll put both hands up there!"
205
00:08:46,071 --> 00:08:48,071
- Ugh.
- Ahhhhhh!
206
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,369
Relax, Clint!
207
00:08:51,863 --> 00:08:53,729
This isn't even my car!
208
00:08:53,727 --> 00:08:54,994
'Zooka Sharks!
209
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,459
MAN: This is our year!
210
00:08:56,457 --> 00:08:59,191
Or maybe we get all the flavors
211
00:08:59,187 --> 00:09:01,354
and don't use any of our tea budget!
212
00:09:06,842 --> 00:09:08,241
Steve, look!
213
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,106
The Ramada!
214
00:09:10,103 --> 00:09:12,638
Dave and his key are right there!
215
00:09:16,428 --> 00:09:19,830
You check the perimeter,
I'll take the dance floor.
216
00:09:19,824 --> 00:09:20,957
Dave?!
217
00:09:20,956 --> 00:09:22,288
Dave?!
218
00:09:22,287 --> 00:09:23,486
[CHANTING] Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave!
219
00:09:23,485 --> 00:09:27,287
Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave!
220
00:09:27,279 --> 00:09:29,879
Dave? Dave?
221
00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:31,743
Dave! Dave!
222
00:09:31,741 --> 00:09:35,074
Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave!
223
00:09:35,068 --> 00:09:36,068
Dave!
224
00:09:36,066 --> 00:09:37,399
Dr. Kenji! You came!
225
00:09:37,398 --> 00:09:38,932
And I didn't even invite you!
226
00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,396
You've got to give a speech!
227
00:09:41,392 --> 00:09:43,059
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I couldn't...
228
00:09:43,057 --> 00:09:45,457
Guys, I want you to meet my dentist.
229
00:09:45,453 --> 00:09:48,988
He's cool and he's always
telling me dirty jokes,
230
00:09:48,982 --> 00:09:50,515
and now he's going to give a toast.
231
00:09:50,513 --> 00:09:54,215
This is gonna be better than
a Netflix stand-up special!
232
00:09:56,905 --> 00:09:58,837
Oh, no.
233
00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:00,568
You can't go too blue.
234
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:04,702
Uh, that's right, I'm his dentist.
235
00:10:04,694 --> 00:10:06,360
And I swear
236
00:10:06,358 --> 00:10:09,959
that's "the whole tooth
and nothing but the tooth."
237
00:10:09,952 --> 00:10:11,552
Oh, no.
238
00:10:11,550 --> 00:10:12,550
Oh, no!
239
00:10:12,549 --> 00:10:14,082
Clint, you bastard!
240
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,882
You just had to show
up on my wedding day!
241
00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:22,477
You know I can't resist you.
242
00:10:22,468 --> 00:10:24,468
Come on!
243
00:10:24,465 --> 00:10:25,931
MAN: Someone in here, actually.
244
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,128
It's okay.
245
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,461
I know what you want.
246
00:10:32,854 --> 00:10:35,787
Whoa, I do kind of want this!
247
00:10:35,781 --> 00:10:37,315
And that's when I said...
248
00:10:37,314 --> 00:10:41,516
"Make it 10 bucks and I'll
put both hands up there!"
249
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,642
[LAUGHTER]
250
00:10:43,638 --> 00:10:46,905
Thank you, goodnight!
251
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:48,300
Dr. Kenji, everyone!
252
00:10:48,298 --> 00:10:51,098
That was so funny I'm
going to piss myself.
253
00:10:51,093 --> 00:10:52,426
I'm not lying!
254
00:10:52,425 --> 00:10:54,826
I know you're loving this.
255
00:10:54,822 --> 00:11:01,960
I've been on my feet all day long.
256
00:11:01,945 --> 00:11:04,145
What the hell is going on in here?
257
00:11:04,142 --> 00:11:06,476
KLAUS: Hilarious speech, man.
258
00:11:06,472 --> 00:11:09,006
You don't meet a lot of funny dentists.
259
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,535
I'm actually looking for a funny guy.
260
00:11:11,531 --> 00:11:13,665
See, I wasn't even invited
to this wedding.
261
00:11:13,662 --> 00:11:17,864
Me and my buddy are wedding crashers...
like the movie.
262
00:11:17,856 --> 00:11:19,189
Except my buddy didn't show up!
263
00:11:19,187 --> 00:11:21,187
So I'm done with him! He's out!
264
00:11:21,184 --> 00:11:23,851
I'm looking for a Vince Vaughn-type
265
00:11:23,847 --> 00:11:26,648
to play opposite my Owen Wilson-type,
266
00:11:26,643 --> 00:11:29,510
and you might fit the bill.
267
00:11:29,505 --> 00:11:30,704
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
268
00:11:30,703 --> 00:11:32,103
You ruined my wedding!
269
00:11:32,102 --> 00:11:35,404
My wife's beautiful feet
smell like a face now!
270
00:11:38,061 --> 00:11:39,827
Come on!
271
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:43,326
Oh, he is a Vince Vaughn-type.
272
00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:47,016
[BRAKES SCREECH]
273
00:11:47,015 --> 00:11:49,281
Go, go! This guy's gonna kill us!
274
00:11:49,277 --> 00:11:51,811
Okay, but this isn't a normal cab,
275
00:11:51,807 --> 00:11:54,742
because this is a Kohl's cash cab!
276
00:11:54,737 --> 00:11:56,669
It's just like the show "Cash Cab"
277
00:11:56,666 --> 00:11:59,134
where they drive you around
and ask you trivia questions
278
00:11:59,131 --> 00:12:01,865
except on this one, you win Kohl's cash
279
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,259
instead of usable cash!
280
00:12:03,344 --> 00:12:04,591
This is my pilot episode.
281
00:12:04,647 --> 00:12:07,156
I'm shooting it on my own and
hoping to sell it to Kohl's.
282
00:12:07,238 --> 00:12:10,053
- Just go!
- Steve?
283
00:12:10,048 --> 00:12:11,915
Well, look who it is...
284
00:12:11,913 --> 00:12:14,180
Local piece of shit Clint McGlint
285
00:12:14,176 --> 00:12:17,711
and dentist to the Japanese mafia,
Dr. Kenji.
286
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:20,104
- Please, Rog...
- Anh-anh.
287
00:12:20,101 --> 00:12:23,769
Please... Jamiroquai J. Spunklestain.
288
00:12:23,762 --> 00:12:25,428
Ah, damn it! Please just go!
289
00:12:25,426 --> 00:12:28,161
Okay, but only if you get
the questions right.
290
00:12:28,156 --> 00:12:31,157
Miss one question and I
drop you at the next corner.
291
00:12:31,152 --> 00:12:33,418
This show is much harder
than the one that was on
292
00:12:33,414 --> 00:12:34,614
Discovery Channel!
293
00:12:34,614 --> 00:12:35,680
Here at "American Dad,"
294
00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:37,145
we love Discovery Channel
295
00:12:37,143 --> 00:12:38,809
and welcome Warner Bros-Discovery
296
00:12:38,807 --> 00:12:40,340
as TBS's new overlord.
297
00:12:40,339 --> 00:12:43,440
Long may scripted
television reign supreme!
298
00:12:45,797 --> 00:12:47,496
What's the hardest haircut to cut?
299
00:12:47,494 --> 00:12:49,912
- What?
- We've got company!
300
00:12:51,189 --> 00:12:52,256
That's your first question.
301
00:12:52,256 --> 00:12:54,589
What's the hardest haircut to cut?
302
00:12:54,585 --> 00:12:56,985
Uh, the Rachel?
303
00:12:56,981 --> 00:12:58,380
Yes! That's correct.
304
00:12:58,379 --> 00:13:01,182
And that's a $50 Kohl's cash!
305
00:13:02,773 --> 00:13:04,640
This question's a little bit harder.
306
00:13:04,638 --> 00:13:07,505
What's the third-best Pixar movie?
307
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,833
Uh, "The Incredibles"!
308
00:13:08,832 --> 00:13:11,433
Ope, sorry, that's wrong!
309
00:13:11,428 --> 00:13:12,760
No, it's not!
310
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,759
"Wall-E," "Toy Story,"
"The Incredibles."
311
00:13:14,756 --> 00:13:16,690
No, it goes "Shrek," "Toy Story,"
312
00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:18,221
"Nemo," "Incredibles."
313
00:13:18,219 --> 00:13:20,285
"Shrek's" not even a Pixar movie!
314
00:13:20,282 --> 00:13:22,082
- Yes, it is!
- No, it isn't.
315
00:13:22,079 --> 00:13:23,344
It's Dreamworks.
316
00:13:23,343 --> 00:13:24,410
Please hold.
317
00:13:24,410 --> 00:13:26,610
Well, cluck me. What do you know?
318
00:13:26,607 --> 00:13:29,708
That's $50 Kohl's cash!
319
00:13:33,064 --> 00:13:34,129
He's back!
320
00:13:34,128 --> 00:13:36,462
Don't worry, this next question's easy.
321
00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:40,261
What... is the best kind of weather?
322
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,654
- BOTH: Rain!
- Wrong!
323
00:13:46,778 --> 00:13:50,112
GROOM: Ah, I'm stuck real good.
324
00:13:50,106 --> 00:13:54,509
Sorry, but the best kind
of weather is two tornados.
325
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,566
Thanks for playing.
326
00:13:55,565 --> 00:13:57,165
Wait, you're dropping us off here?
327
00:13:57,163 --> 00:13:59,896
Damn, this is one of the
roughest parts of Chimdale.
328
00:13:59,892 --> 00:14:02,493
But I don't pick where
you get the answers wrong.
329
00:14:02,489 --> 00:14:03,700
Now get out!
330
00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:07,652
And quit going through
other people's stuff!
331
00:14:11,409 --> 00:14:13,610
Well, Steve wants my help
332
00:14:13,607 --> 00:14:15,673
getting into Vince Chung's party.
333
00:14:15,670 --> 00:14:18,472
Probably because of our
Taco Bell trauma bond.
334
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:21,370
_
335
00:14:21,364 --> 00:14:23,752
_
336
00:14:24,647 --> 00:14:26,524
I just feel like Steve and Snot
337
00:14:26,521 --> 00:14:28,788
might be in danger for some reason.
338
00:14:30,648 --> 00:14:33,717
Geez, this Makahama guy
called a thousand times.
339
00:14:33,712 --> 00:14:35,912
Hey, the Uber on this phone works.
340
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:36,909
We can get home!
341
00:14:36,907 --> 00:14:39,640
Home?! But we have to get the keg.
342
00:14:39,636 --> 00:14:42,304
How? Face it, Snot, we're done.
343
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:43,565
We lost Dave.
344
00:14:43,564 --> 00:14:45,363
And no Dave, no key.
345
00:14:45,361 --> 00:14:47,228
No key, no keg.
346
00:14:47,225 --> 00:14:48,624
No keg, no party.
347
00:14:48,623 --> 00:14:50,757
No party, no handie.
348
00:14:50,754 --> 00:14:54,222
Come on, Steve, this is your destiny!
349
00:14:54,215 --> 00:14:55,681
Snot, it's okay.
350
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,214
A part of me is actually relieved.
351
00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,544
- What?
- It's just...
352
00:15:00,540 --> 00:15:03,274
I was a little afraid
of getting a handjob.
353
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,402
Afraid? Why?
354
00:15:05,399 --> 00:15:07,399
What if I don't do it right?
355
00:15:07,396 --> 00:15:08,663
What if my penis is weird?
356
00:15:08,662 --> 00:15:10,728
I can't believe this kind of talk.
357
00:15:10,725 --> 00:15:15,261
Steve, I have no doubt you
have a wonderful penis.
358
00:15:15,252 --> 00:15:17,785
Also, if you don't, who cares?
359
00:15:17,781 --> 00:15:20,850
We're entering a new
age of body positivity
360
00:15:20,845 --> 00:15:23,846
where weird is beautiful, my friend.
361
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,641
[VOMITING]
362
00:15:28,566 --> 00:15:29,699
- Dave!
- Dave!
363
00:15:32,428 --> 00:15:34,495
- Dave!
- He's out.
364
00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:37,159
Well, we don't need him, just the key.
365
00:15:37,154 --> 00:15:39,087
Check the keychain!
366
00:15:39,084 --> 00:15:42,886
He's only got one key on
here like a psychopath.
367
00:15:42,879 --> 00:15:44,279
It must be inside.
368
00:15:48,139 --> 00:15:51,340
If we find the key and hustle
back to the bar to get the keg,
369
00:15:51,334 --> 00:15:52,533
we can still make the party.
370
00:15:52,532 --> 00:15:54,399
SNOT: But the keg's not at the bar.
371
00:15:54,396 --> 00:15:56,196
What? How do you know that?
372
00:15:56,194 --> 00:15:58,995
Because it's right here.
373
00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:02,592
??
374
00:16:05,414 --> 00:16:07,281
SNOT: It's beautiful.
375
00:16:07,278 --> 00:16:08,477
You were right, Snot.
376
00:16:08,476 --> 00:16:10,009
It's our destiny.
377
00:16:10,008 --> 00:16:11,674
Let's go!
378
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,138
MAN: Let us help you with that.
379
00:16:13,137 --> 00:16:17,139
You haven't been answering
your phone, Dr. Kenji.
380
00:16:17,131 --> 00:16:24,136
??
381
00:16:24,121 --> 00:16:25,921
I'm sorry, Mr. Makahama,
382
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,919
I assumed you wanted sparkling water!
383
00:16:27,916 --> 00:16:31,717
Well, you know what happens
when you assume...
384
00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:33,577
You die!
385
00:16:36,237 --> 00:16:39,438
Dr. Kenji, thank you for coming.
386
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:43,301
I'm sorry we had to be so persistent.
387
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:46,361
Ah, no problem.
388
00:16:46,355 --> 00:16:48,422
Two nights ago, I ate a gumdrop,
389
00:16:48,419 --> 00:16:51,287
and it made my tooth really hurt.
390
00:16:51,283 --> 00:16:52,615
Then it went away.
391
00:16:52,613 --> 00:16:54,547
But then, I ate a bunch of jujubes
392
00:16:54,545 --> 00:16:59,013
and the pain came back worse!
393
00:16:59,004 --> 00:17:02,206
Please remove the tooth at once.
394
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:06,736
After you fix the boss's tooth,
you'll get your keg back.
395
00:17:06,727 --> 00:17:08,260
How are we going to get out of this?
396
00:17:08,258 --> 00:17:11,325
This is complex dental work,
and I'm terrible with my hands.
397
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,787
You said you wanted
to become a man, right?
398
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:18,687
Well, a man's got to do
what a man's got to do.
399
00:17:22,304 --> 00:17:25,139
Okay, what tooth is it?
400
00:17:28,429 --> 00:17:31,364
Just give that a second to work.
401
00:17:34,155 --> 00:17:36,823
Now let's yank this bad boy.
402
00:17:36,818 --> 00:17:39,785
[GRUNTING]
403
00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:46,279
It does not want to come out!
404
00:17:46,271 --> 00:17:48,937
Ahh! Ahh!
405
00:17:48,933 --> 00:17:50,234
Hold on...
406
00:17:50,497 --> 00:17:51,598
Almost...
407
00:17:51,597 --> 00:17:53,729
Got it!
408
00:17:53,726 --> 00:17:55,726
Ahhhh!
409
00:17:55,723 --> 00:17:56,790
'Ill 'hem!
410
00:17:56,790 --> 00:17:58,255
Steve, the cart!
411
00:17:58,253 --> 00:17:59,553
The elevator!
412
00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,544
Uh-oh.
413
00:18:09,771 --> 00:18:10,836
Ahh!
414
00:18:10,836 --> 00:18:12,469
Oh, God!
415
00:18:15,163 --> 00:18:16,362
We're not falling!
416
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:18,762
I think we're flying this thing!
417
00:18:18,759 --> 00:18:26,231
??
418
00:18:26,214 --> 00:18:28,480
We just passed Vince Chung's house!
419
00:18:28,477 --> 00:18:31,345
We need to turn around!
420
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:33,741
Deflect off the Shark's nest!
421
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:41,876
??
422
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:44,593
We're alive!
423
00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:45,987
Oh, my God...
424
00:18:45,986 --> 00:18:47,786
it's Vince Chung's party!
425
00:18:47,783 --> 00:18:48,916
We did it!
426
00:18:48,915 --> 00:18:50,715
I'm gonna become a man!
427
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,847
No, we didn't.
428
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,108
- Who cares?
- Who cares?
429
00:18:56,105 --> 00:18:58,706
Uh, Vince Chung for starters.
430
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,301
We've come too far.
431
00:19:00,299 --> 00:19:02,165
I'm going to that party.
432
00:19:02,162 --> 00:19:04,897
And I'm getting that handjob.
433
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,894
Yasss, queen!
434
00:19:07,888 --> 00:19:10,489
Yazzzzzz!
435
00:19:11,749 --> 00:19:14,150
[ALL GASPING]
436
00:19:14,146 --> 00:19:15,745
Hey...
437
00:19:15,743 --> 00:19:18,277
You have no clue what
I've been through tonight.
438
00:19:18,273 --> 00:19:21,441
Just to get here. To you.
439
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:29,000
Why the hell is this
old-ass guy kissing me?!
440
00:19:28,991 --> 00:19:30,858
That's my dentist!
441
00:19:30,856 --> 00:19:32,055
Oh, my God!
442
00:19:32,054 --> 00:19:34,721
Somebody kill them!
443
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:35,949
MAN: Get 'em!
444
00:19:37,712 --> 00:19:39,979
We gotta get out of these clothes!
445
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,507
I can't believe how close
I came to becoming a man
446
00:19:44,503 --> 00:19:48,772
only to be, well, too old I guess.
447
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:49,829
What an awful night.
448
00:19:49,829 --> 00:19:51,228
Steve...
449
00:19:51,226 --> 00:19:53,960
Tonight was the best night of my life.
450
00:19:53,956 --> 00:19:55,289
And do you know why?
451
00:19:55,288 --> 00:19:57,088
'Cause that bride grabbed your wiener?
452
00:19:57,085 --> 00:19:58,350
No...
453
00:19:58,349 --> 00:20:02,351
Because I watched you become a man.
454
00:20:02,343 --> 00:20:04,477
Yeah, you didn't get an hj,
455
00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:07,208
but you did give an
amazing wedding speech.
456
00:20:07,204 --> 00:20:09,605
You cracked a guy over
the head with a vase.
457
00:20:09,601 --> 00:20:13,069
You pulled the tongue out
of a Japanese mob boss.
458
00:20:13,063 --> 00:20:15,063
You shoved Vince Chung.
459
00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:17,160
And you kissed the girl.
460
00:20:18,055 --> 00:20:20,521
[SIREN CHIRPS]
461
00:20:20,517 --> 00:20:23,118
Hey, you haven't seen some scuzzy guy
462
00:20:23,114 --> 00:20:26,849
and an off-duty dentist, have you?
463
00:20:26,842 --> 00:20:28,242
Well, the Japanese mafia
464
00:20:28,241 --> 00:20:30,107
and a bunch of high-school
kids want them dead,
465
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,438
so you should probably
get off the streets.
466
00:20:32,435 --> 00:20:34,101
Can you give us a ride home?
467
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:38,168
No way! Every man for themselves!
468
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,627
And put on some clothes!
469
00:20:40,889 --> 00:20:42,556
BARRY: Somebody need a ride?
470
00:20:42,554 --> 00:20:45,021
[HORSE WHINNIES]
471
00:20:45,017 --> 00:20:46,416
Hey, I can't believe they let you guys
472
00:20:46,415 --> 00:20:48,615
take your horses home from horse camp.
473
00:20:48,611 --> 00:20:49,744
Oh, they didn't let us...
474
00:20:49,744 --> 00:20:51,344
[GUNSHOT]
475
00:20:51,342 --> 00:20:52,807
??
476
00:20:52,805 --> 00:20:54,606
H'yah!
477
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,501
Bye-bye! See you soon!
478
00:20:58,551 --> 00:21:03,101
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