Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:16,451
FXX presentsYou're the Worst.
2
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,138
Oh!
3
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:09,156
Ah, it is so nice
to finally have a day off.
4
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:12,333
-It's Sunday.
-Paul F. Tompkins doesn't
believe in Sundays.
5
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,813
Or doctors appointments
or bathroom breaks.
6
00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:17,338
Well, since you have
all this free time,
7
00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:19,166
-have you finally
read my script?
-Oh!
8
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:22,125
Shoot! I'm sorry, Jimmy. I did.
9
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,127
And I... loved it.
10
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:27,826
You captured the book perfectly.No notes.
11
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,394
No notes?
12
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,831
No... notes?
13
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,485
Thank you, Edgar.
14
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:37,358
Well, I shall just send it in
as is, then.
15
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,535
-Final draft, incoming.
- Say, Edgar?
16
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,711
Why, yes, Lindsay?
-You know what I miss?
17
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:45,366
Handwritten letters? Landlines?Light brown M&M's?
18
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,630
Sunday Funday. Remember that?
19
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:50,980
I sure do, Lindsay!
20
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,809
-What... is this?
21
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:57,160
It looks like
a Sunday Funday list.
22
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,988
Nope, we're not doing
Sunday Funday.
23
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:01,643
We retired it, remember?
24
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,254
: That's too bad,
because it's...
25
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:08,737
BOTH: Bachelor/Bachelorette
Party Sunday Funday!
26
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,739
-What?!
27
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,436
-♪ Sunday Funday♪
28
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,221
♪ Sunday Funday,
Sunday Funday...♪
29
00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:16,179
What do you think, Jim-skillet?
30
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:19,791
♪ Sun-day Fun-day♪
31
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,532
ALL:
♪ Better than a Monday♪
32
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,534
♪ Can only do it one way♪
33
00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:25,275
♪ And that is the drunk way♪
34
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:29,323
♪ Sunday Funday,
better than a Monday♪
35
00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:33,196
♪ Can only do it one way,
and that is the drunk way♪
36
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,634
♪ Sunday Funday,
better than a Monday.♪
37
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:44,599
♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway♪
38
00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:46,688
♪ I'm gonna leave you
anyway♪
39
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:49,169
♪ Gonna leave you anyway.♪
40
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:57,438
If I see one plastic
novelty penis,
41
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,266
I'm shoving you off the bus.
42
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:02,356
Don't worry, Gretch.
Only real ones.
43
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:08,449
ALL:
Surprise!
44
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,712
-What the shit?
-Whoo! Hell yeah!
45
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:14,150
Party bus bachelor party
Sunday Funday!
46
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,500
-Whoo!
-Ooh!
47
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,894
So honored to be included,
you guys.
48
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:22,071
Gonna crush it.
You'll see... basically.
49
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:24,378
-Where are all my real friends?-Which friends?
50
00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:25,814
How am I supposed to get buck
51
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,903
with my future
ball-and-chain here?
52
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,252
-Yeah!
-EDGAR: Check out
53
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:32,081
all the amazing stuff
we have planned.
54
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:35,911
First, the oldest tiki bar
in the San Fernando Valley.
55
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:39,306
We'll then hop over
to crazy Topanga Canyon
56
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,308
where real-life hippies will
teach us to throw pottery.
57
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:47,270
Then, a coastal sundown drive
along the water.
58
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,403
It's gonna be hardcore.
59
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,883
-More like hard-snore.
60
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,885
The only way to make this
impending disaster
61
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:56,845
remotely fun now is
to immediately get hammered
62
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,413
and enjoy what an utter failureEdgar and Lindsay
63
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:02,459
-once again prove to be.
-Where the hell is
all the booze?
64
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:06,507
I had the privilegeof crafting a special microbrew
65
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,552
to commemorate the event.
66
00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:12,861
Introducing the Jimmy
and Gretchen... Strawberry...
67
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:16,473
-Huh? Pale Ale!
68
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,519
What a laugh.
69
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,999
So jolly.
70
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,393
This is going to be fun,
trust us.
71
00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:30,879
Paul aboard!
72
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:49,332
Hello, everybody. Hi.
73
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:52,466
As we get closer to Jimmy
and Gretchen's big day,
74
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:57,558
I just want to say how much
I look forward to being firmly
75
00:04:57,601 --> 00:05:00,474
involved in their lives,
then even more than now.
76
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:03,607
I'm gonna be there
is all I'm saying.
77
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:08,220
And now a song to get
this party started!
78
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:10,135
-Just wait.
79
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,921
Quickly, just right
after this, but quickly.
80
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,488
-I just have a quick... -
81
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,620
Hello, everyone! Hi!
82
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:21,190
Hi.
I have a huge announcement.
83
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,974
-EDGAR: English.
-Is everyone looking at me?
84
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:26,413
-English.
-Shut up, back there! Okay.
85
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,589
-Drumroll.
86
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:32,636
I'm going to have another baby!
87
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,595
What? What?
88
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,248
Becca! Becca!
89
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:38,599
-Becca!
-Seriously?
Hey, nerd, it worked!
90
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:42,646
Oh, my. Huzzah! Huzzah!
91
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:47,259
-MAN: Shut up, jerk!
-Oh, sorry. Sorry.
92
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,523
Hell yeah! What a miracle.
93
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,742
-Little baby growing in there.
-Yeah.
94
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,571
Gosh, can you believe
it's not just come anymore?
95
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:03,537
-Me? A papa.
96
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:06,017
What responsibility.
97
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,459
One more of these
ultra-low-ABV bad boys,
98
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:15,505
and I'm liable
to tell you a little secret.
99
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,986
-Uh, no.-Are you sure? It's quite juicy.
100
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:21,076
Paul, I've never been more sure
of anything in my life.
101
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,817
: Oh!
That sounds like a challenge.
102
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:25,820
But you have to swear
not to tell anyone.
103
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:28,475
If you do,
you'll owe me $1,000.
104
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:29,693
Okay, fine. Deal.
105
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:33,784
Just tell me so I can be out
of this horrible conversation.
106
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:36,439
I impregnated Becca.
107
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:39,268
Direct deposit method.
108
00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:41,444
With my member.
109
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,146
-Well, that is a good secret.
-I told you.
110
00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:56,111
Oh, bother. Oh.
111
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:58,592
Hi, everybody.
I have an announcement.
112
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:01,464
-What is it?
-And... sent.
113
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,814
-JIMMY: I feel like
we haven't given
114
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,599
enough attention
to how thrilling it is
115
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,949
-that Becca is pregnant again.
-No, no, no!
116
00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,559
Jimmy, no!
117
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:12,475
But what is so extraordinary
about this event
118
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:15,260
is the method by which
it transpired.
119
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,741
You see, as it turns out,
120
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:21,702
Paul used nature's baster.
121
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,921
His willy! He used his willy!
122
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:29,492
Paul put his penis inside Beccaand moved it in and out.
123
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:32,408
-Party officially set off.
124
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,543
What-What?
125
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:39,546
This is the first I'm hearing
of this shocking news.
126
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:41,548
You guys are so lucky
you have us
127
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,637
to make your lame-o party
awesome.
128
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,987
-Hey...
129
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:51,079
Okay, we're stopping at
the liquor store immediately.
130
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,921
Oh, I can actually have
more than one because
131
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:09,663
most women don't even knowthey're pregnant at this point.
132
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:12,579
You've done a lot of shitty
things to me over the years--
133
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,798
dropped me in the laundry chute,
134
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:17,322
made me sleep in the backyard
because I breathed too loud--
135
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,803
but sleeping with my husband
was the lowest,
136
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:21,979
and I'm including
that summer you told me
137
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:24,678
I had to drink your pee
or I wouldn't get boobs.
138
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,810
Lindsay, I swear to you
139
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:30,205
it was as passionless
as sex has ever been.
140
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:33,513
You should know.
You married him.
141
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:46,613
Oh, do I have a booger?
142
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,745
Let's make a promise
that we'll do this forever,
143
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:51,618
that this, our freest selves,
shall e'er rule
144
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:55,622
and that marriageshall not change us in any way.
145
00:08:55,665 --> 00:09:00,235
I don't know. In five years,
my freest self might be sober.
146
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:01,628
That's not funny.
147
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,281
Who knows
what our lives will be?
148
00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,066
We can make
these big declarations,
149
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,720
but it doesn't mean anything.
150
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,722
Or worse,
we think it means something,
151
00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:10,419
so we force ourselves
to be this,
152
00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:12,508
even though
that's not who we are anymore.
153
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:16,251
-But I am who I am.
-I am, too. For now.
154
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,820
What's your favorite part?
155
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:22,257
-Of what?
-Of the script, man.
156
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,694
Come on. Was it
the Ramones concert intercut
157
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:26,740
with Neville Chamberlain
announcing conscription?
158
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:30,700
Or Kitty's seduction atthe hands of the church rector?
159
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:33,834
It was all really good, Jimmy.
160
00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:36,880
Well, that was markedly
disappointing. For our next...
161
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,316
Well, well, well.
162
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,797
: Edgar,
I thought you had jury duty.
163
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,844
Oh, um, the guy confessed.
164
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:45,280
Crazy.
165
00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:47,848
Uh, Jimmy,
this is Paul F. Tompkins.
166
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:51,895
Hey, Jimmy.
Any friend of Edgar's.
167
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:56,073
So, what are you guys
up to on this glorious Sunday?
168
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,861
Howdy, everybody!
My name is Paul F. Tompkins,
169
00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:04,125
-and I will be your host
for this party.
170
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:08,216
I regret to inform youthe old plan died of being lame.
171
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,565
-Oh!
172
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,871
-Boo!
-New plan:
173
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,917
-we're going to Las Vegas!
174
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:15,527
-Hit it!
175
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,529
Oh.
176
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:20,010
-♪ Vegas♪
177
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:23,057
♪ We're on our way
to Las Vegas♪
178
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,712
♪ We're gonna go
where paying for sex♪
179
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:28,715
♪ Is not a crime♪
180
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,804
-That's true.
181
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,849
♪ I said Vegas♪
182
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:35,243
-♪ We're gonna go where the...♪
-Hi, buddy.
183
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:36,897
We have a question.
What were you doing
184
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:40,378
while another man
was having sex with your wife?
185
00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:42,337
Uh...
186
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,905
I think I was watching a movie.
187
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,907
Oh. What movie
were you watching?
188
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,604
Was it A Cuckwork Orange?
189
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,171
The Hunt for Red Cucktober?
190
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:51,912
Uncle Cuck? The Mighty Cucks?
191
00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:54,305
-The Joy Cuck Club?
-Cuckleberry Finn?
192
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,959
The Marx Brothers in Cuck Soup?
193
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:57,569
-Good Night and Good Cuck?
194
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:58,919
One Flew Over
the Cuck-oo's Nest?
195
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,355
-Mooncuck?
-Ha!
196
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:02,574
Sick burns. So comical.
197
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,359
Excuse me for a second.
198
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:09,930
I'm looking real bad
in this scenario, nerd.
199
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:12,497
I got to tell 'em
the full, triumphant story.
200
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:13,629
Vernon, you can't do that.
201
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,936
-Hmm.-EDGAR:
The Cuck-il Wears Prada.
202
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:17,633
What's it worth to you?
203
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,898
Are you on Venmo?
204
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:23,857
Mm-hmm.
205
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,554
BECCA:
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
206
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,774
-You know what? No, listen!
207
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:29,819
You all should be ashamed
of yourselves.
208
00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:33,954
Vernon is a strong, secure man
who should be celebrated
209
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:36,957
-for his open-mindedness.
-Aw, thanks, Bec.
210
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,090
Yeah. And actually, I think
the movie he was watching was
211
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:43,790
-I Heart Cuckabees!
212
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,748
Didn't see that coming,
did you, cuck?
213
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,446
-Hey-o!
214
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,668
No, no, no, no, no, no!
215
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,627
-No, Vernon, no!
-I was there, too, you guys!
216
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:57,891
I was in the room
where it happened.
217
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,675
-I was a part of it!
218
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,896
I came, too! So hard!
219
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:05,246
We all came at the same time.
220
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,987
It was super sexual.
221
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:10,033
I helped his dong back in
and then Bec blew harder
222
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,819
than she ever blew before.
We held hands after.
223
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:16,953
I tried to kill myself, and thesex made me want to stay alive!
224
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:19,913
That's about it!
I yield my remaining time!
225
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,741
Sunday Funday!
226
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:31,576
Who here's from out of town?
227
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,665
Oh.
228
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:43,023
So, you picked up a bus driver
and invite him
229
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,155
-into your marriage bed?
-Oh!
-What?
230
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,374
-No, no.
231
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:49,464
-Let me explain.
-I don't trust him, Jimmy.
232
00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:51,422
He's got that same look
in his eyes he had that day
233
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,381
he made me eat
all that sour cream.
234
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,687
Oh, you're just mad that he'smaking this party actually fun.
235
00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:57,689
Now, shush. I want to see
who he's going to
236
00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:59,039
take the piss out of next.
237
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:01,955
Oh, you two are getting married!
238
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,957
-That's right!
239
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,046
Oh, so great.
240
00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:08,048
Now, you know, things will
change after you get married.
241
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:10,441
That's right. About to gain
that marriage weight, sucka!
242
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,662
So have you two had
all the big discussions?
243
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,011
-We will.
-Oh.
244
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:17,709
-Will is my handsy uncle.
245
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,973
Let's knock some of these out
right now.
246
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:22,018
First question:
If you have a boy,
247
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:23,890
-will he be circumcised?
-JIMMY: Yes.
248
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,109
-Everyone calls it a turtle.
-No, that's mutilation.
249
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,068
Will you raise your child
with religion?
250
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:30,461
-Absolutely not.
-Yes.
251
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,550
Wait, why is everything
about children?
252
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:34,857
Next question:
Do you want children?
253
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:38,078
-Probably not.
-Absolutely.
254
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,731
-You're not religious.
-Yes, I am.
255
00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:42,125
I don't talk about it because
you'll make me feel dumb.
256
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,866
Why would you say
that we want children?
257
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,695
-Because I want them.
-Well, I don't.
258
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,219
This feels bad.
259
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,265
Is it just me,
or does this feel really bad?
260
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,484
-You said you weren't sure.
-Well, I changed my mind.
261
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:56,052
And I might change it again.Right now these are my beliefs.
262
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:58,011
But who knows how I'll feel
in a couple years?
263
00:13:58,054 --> 00:14:00,927
Then they're not beliefs.
They're whims.
264
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:06,671
Ooh, that is not
going to land well.
265
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:09,936
He's right, we should make thesedecisions before we get married.
266
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:11,676
What's even the point?
267
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,678
Any rethinking I might do
isn't called "growth"
268
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:16,507
but "weakness" because Jimmy's
so goddamn set in his ways.
269
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:17,552
Can't you fucking
adjust something
270
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:18,988
for me for once in your life?
271
00:14:19,032 --> 00:14:20,555
I have changed for you.
272
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,035
Guys, quick,
name some of the things
273
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:24,037
I've adjusted for Gretchen.
274
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,735
-Um...
-Uh...
275
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,345
Ha! See?
276
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:31,958
-You can't name one thing...
-I sucked a dick for you!
277
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,311
I'm sorry, I don't think
I heard that right.
278
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:43,143
Gretchen told me
to suck a dick, so I did.
279
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:45,275
I sucked one.
280
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:49,192
LINDSAY: I want a guy
to suck a dick for me.
281
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:51,368
It all makes sense now,
because of how infrequently
282
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,935
he wanted to make love.
283
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,415
Was I at least
on the short list?
284
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,373
I always thought
I'd be dope at that
285
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,810
on account of how good
I am at Popsicles.
286
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:03,163
Why are we stopping?
287
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,513
-ALL: Oh!
288
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:09,952
As far as I can hypothesize,I have an optic yeast infection.
289
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,041
Happens to the best
home brewers.
290
00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:13,825
Move. I'll drive.
291
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,218
We've also run out of fuel.
292
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,351
-What?
293
00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:19,875
-I don't have any service.
-What?!
294
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,050
Me neither.
295
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:24,010
This was your plan
all along, wasn't it?
296
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:27,187
To trap us out here
in the desert.
297
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,797
I'm simply trying to have fun
298
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,842
with this couple
who, by the way, clearly
299
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,322
-shouldn't be getting married.
-Hey!
300
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:35,108
Don't make fun of my friends.
301
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:37,110
Some group of friends, Edgar.
302
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:40,200
The dick-hungry come loverwhose script you clearly hated.
303
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,766
-Edgar?
304
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:44,117
I'm sorry, Jimmy, I didn't wantto hurt your feelings.
305
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,249
And the sad girl
he barely even knows
306
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:48,121
who tricked him
into sucking a dick.
307
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:51,037
Then there's this
alcoholic Gorgon
308
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,647
who boned her sister's ex.
309
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,997
I had her permission.
310
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,999
-You did not!
-Do me! Do me!
311
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,914
Then there's
her Howdy Doody husband
312
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,221
who's too lame to even
waste a good insult on.
313
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:04,267
-All right, that's it.
314
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,835
-Get off of this bus!
315
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:08,706
Oh, let me think about it.
Um, no.
316
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:12,101
-Get out! Get out!
-Watch yourself, Edgar.
317
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:14,147
I can make it so you never workin this town again.
318
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,888
I don't care. You can be
as hard on me as you want,
319
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:20,240
but don't mess with my friends.
320
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:23,156
What are you gonna do
about it, loser?
321
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,200
I said...
322
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:28,248
...get out!
323
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:39,824
EDGAR:
Is he okay?
324
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,826
Is he okay?!
325
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,828
I don't know; I'm having
a hard time remembering
326
00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:45,134
what I'm supposed to do.
327
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:48,137
R-I-C-E. What's the "I"?
328
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:53,055
-Where the hell are we?
-PAUL: I may have taken
329
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,188
a wrong turn when the yeast
started to activate.
330
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,059
Why did you have to push him?!
331
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,626
This is so bad.
332
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,628
You guys don't know him
like I do.
333
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:03,109
He is going to ruin my life.
334
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,154
What are you doing?
335
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:06,938
He's a hostile combatant!
336
00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:08,288
Oh, stop it.
You're acting
337
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,203
as irrationally
as you did when you decided
338
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,292
my screenplay needed work.
339
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,946
Edgar's right--
we can't trust this guy.
340
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:17,210
He called me an alcoholic.
341
00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:18,341
PAUL:
What's happening?
342
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,213
Who's fallen?
343
00:17:23,825 --> 00:17:26,480
See? I told you.
344
00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:28,264
TOMPKINS :
What?
345
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:31,441
-Edgar?
346
00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:33,748
Guys? What's happening?
347
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,097
Do not listen to him.
348
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,534
TOMPKINS:
Edgar.
349
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:40,711
You got to help me.
My back really hurts.
350
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:43,236
Why did you push me
down the stairs?
351
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:45,020
Why are you all
standing over me?
352
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,587
What are you gonna do to me?
353
00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:49,503
I'm sorry if I've been
hard on you at work,
354
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,983
-but don't do this.
-Why do you have this?!
355
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:54,247
I-I was uncomfortable
working with you.
356
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:57,685
I mean, you're a disgruntled
employee with PTSD.
357
00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:00,340
-He has a point!
-And then you pushed me
down the stairs.
358
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:03,038
And then I woke up,and you're all standing over me
359
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:06,215
in the middle of the desert!
360
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,263
Hey.
361
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:18,619
-What are we gonna do?
362
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:21,056
I'll take care of him.
363
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:26,279
It's okay. I'm fine.
364
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:28,281
Oh, my God!
What's happening?!
365
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:31,545
-Someone tell me
what's happening!
366
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,203
I'm so cold.
367
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:39,770
Why can't I stand up?
368
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:42,599
What did you do?! He's a doctor!
369
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:44,210
He said he was gonna
take care of me!
370
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,602
I-I thought he was
coming over to kill me!
371
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:48,170
I told you he was a psychopath!
372
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:51,391
Oh, God, and now he's dead.
373
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:54,350
Just like all of you
are about to be dead.
374
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:57,092
-What did you say?
375
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,312
Oh, nothing.
376
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:02,053
Just, um, spitballing here,
but, uh,
377
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:05,753
I think maybe now
I have to kill all of you.
378
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:08,234
-: You...
-I'm not joking, fuck-face.
379
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:11,280
This is actually my dream.
380
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:13,195
You drew first blood.
381
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:14,631
The security camera on this bus
382
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,633
will show you pushing me
down the stairs.
383
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:19,810
But out here, no camera.
384
00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:25,381
Oh, yes, from here on out,
it's all self-defense.
385
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,257
Oh, no.
386
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,911
-No!
387
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,306
You're first, Edgar.
388
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,352
No. No!
389
00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:44,487
He's okay, right?
390
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:45,923
Yeah.
391
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,925
You're okay. Are you okay?
392
00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,590
Oh, my God.
393
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,465
Breathe. Just breathe.
394
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:08,381
I am. I'm calm.
395
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,905
We-we just killed someone!
396
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:14,082
JIMMY:
Okay.
397
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:17,346
We have to leave.
Um... Mexico.
398
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:19,261
We have to go to Mexico.
399
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:20,610
You'd do that?
400
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:22,046
As long as we're together.
401
00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:23,265
-LINDSAY: You guys!
402
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:26,399
I can't. I can't.
403
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,139
-Calm down.
-I can't!
404
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:32,100
Gretchen, you have to
hold this for me.
405
00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,111
-Shh!
406
00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:49,422
-What the...?
-Surprise!
407
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,513
What is happening?
I don't understand.
408
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,863
Which part?
The part where Lindsay and I
409
00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:57,517
orchestrated the best
410
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,128
bachelor/bachelorette party
ever?
411
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:05,176
I, uh... yes. I'm speechless.
412
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,526
-Bravo, everyone.
-Yeah.
413
00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:08,397
-Yeah!
-Oh.
414
00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:11,879
-Jimmy, is this real life?
415
00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:24,587
So, pretty good, huh?
416
00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:27,590
You let us murder someone.
417
00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:29,505
How did you...?
418
00:21:29,549 --> 00:21:32,029
Well, we knew
you'd demand real booze
419
00:21:32,073 --> 00:21:34,249
-if we had Paul make home brew.-PAUL: What?
420
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,164
But I brewed the ale
in good faith,
421
00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:37,731
independent of the scheming.
422
00:21:37,774 --> 00:21:40,386
It led us to where Paul F.
Tompkins would be waiting.
423
00:21:40,429 --> 00:21:42,823
And you, sir...
424
00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:45,260
I knew eight years
of stage combat would pay off.
425
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,349
Plus, I make my own squibs.
426
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:49,220
-Oh.
-So, you and Edgar aren't...
427
00:21:49,264 --> 00:21:52,006
Working together anymore? No.
428
00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,225
So, with this, you are free.
429
00:21:54,269 --> 00:21:56,793
And you promise not to goto DB Industries' HR department
430
00:21:56,837 --> 00:22:00,406
with any more allegations
of alleged abuse.
431
00:22:00,449 --> 00:22:02,146
Got to say,
432
00:22:02,190 --> 00:22:05,019
that disgusting threesome runneryou guys made up?
433
00:22:05,062 --> 00:22:07,500
I almost broke, like,
five times.
434
00:22:09,893 --> 00:22:11,504
Oh.
435
00:22:11,547 --> 00:22:14,463
We are not leaving you behind.
436
00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:17,205
-Calm the fuck down.
-Okay.
437
00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:25,605
What?
438
00:22:25,648 --> 00:22:29,391
Mexico?
I thought you hated change.
439
00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:32,742
I suppose there mightbe some circumstances in life
440
00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:35,528
that do change things,
like murder.
441
00:22:35,571 --> 00:22:37,660
Or kids.
442
00:22:37,704 --> 00:22:39,488
Right.
443
00:22:39,532 --> 00:22:42,491
Or murder.
444
00:22:44,450 --> 00:22:47,844
Congrats on knocking up
my big sister, you stud.
445
00:22:49,846 --> 00:22:52,109
I heartily apologize.
446
00:22:52,153 --> 00:22:54,634
It's okay.
447
00:22:54,677 --> 00:22:57,637
-Sister fucker.
448
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,596
Ew, you made my sister come.
449
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,817
-Ew.
450
00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:06,210
No, don't make me laugh.
451
00:23:06,254 --> 00:23:07,647
Tears will feed the yeast.
452
00:23:09,736 --> 00:23:12,478
GRETCHEN:
♪ Anytime♪
453
00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:17,483
♪ You're feeling lonely♪
454
00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:21,269
♪ Anytime♪
455
00:23:21,312 --> 00:23:25,621
♪ You're feeling blue♪
456
00:23:27,971 --> 00:23:32,019
♪ Anytime♪
457
00:23:32,062 --> 00:23:36,066
♪ You feel downhearted♪
458
00:23:36,110 --> 00:23:40,680
♪ That will prove your love♪
459
00:23:40,723 --> 00:23:45,946
♪ To me is true♪
460
00:23:45,989 --> 00:23:49,689
♪ Anytime♪
461
00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:55,477
♪ You're thinking 'bout me♪
462
00:23:55,521 --> 00:23:59,263
♪ That's the time♪
463
00:23:59,307 --> 00:24:02,876
♪ I'm thinking 'bout you.♪
464
00:24:04,660 --> 00:24:06,706
So?
465
00:24:06,749 --> 00:24:08,055
-Hard-core?
-Ugh.
466
00:24:08,098 --> 00:24:09,752
-Hard-core.
467
00:24:09,796 --> 00:24:11,058
-One plot hole.
-Hmm?
468
00:24:11,101 --> 00:24:12,538
How did you know we'd shoot him?
469
00:24:12,581 --> 00:24:14,191
Ah, we didn't know for sure,
but you did.
470
00:24:14,235 --> 00:24:15,932
You killed him to save me.
471
00:24:15,976 --> 00:24:17,847
Ultimate bad boy move, huh?
472
00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:19,109
-Yeah.
473
00:24:19,153 --> 00:24:21,155
Wait, where'd you get the gun?
474
00:24:21,198 --> 00:24:23,679
Oh, your dad bought itwhen he came to visit, remember?
475
00:24:23,723 --> 00:24:25,855
You've had a gun in your room
since then?
476
00:24:25,899 --> 00:24:27,683
-Mm-hmm.
-Wow. I've called you
477
00:24:27,727 --> 00:24:30,512
some truly awful things
this past year.
478
00:24:30,556 --> 00:24:32,514
You could've just ended it all.
479
00:24:32,558 --> 00:24:34,560
-Well, yeah, I mean...
-The constant nay-saying,
480
00:24:34,603 --> 00:24:36,431
the endless cooking
and cleaning,
481
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,520
the irrational subservience.
482
00:24:38,564 --> 00:24:40,522
With a simple twitch
of your finger,
483
00:24:40,566 --> 00:24:42,742
the misery could have
ceased forever.
484
00:24:42,785 --> 00:24:45,614
And still, you chose
not to kill yourself.
485
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:48,704
Bravo, Edgar.
486
00:24:51,838 --> 00:24:56,016
Hey, I'm sorry about the script,Jimmy, but you can't turn it in.
487
00:24:56,059 --> 00:24:59,019
I suspected
it wasn't very good.
488
00:24:59,062 --> 00:25:01,021
Will you help me fix it?
489
00:25:01,064 --> 00:25:03,763
Yeah.
490
00:25:03,806 --> 00:25:05,373
I'll call the studio,
say you're consulting.
491
00:25:05,416 --> 00:25:08,202
-Cowriting.
-Fine.
492
00:25:08,245 --> 00:25:11,597
Just promise you'll never
lie to me again.
493
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,642
I promise.
494
00:25:19,822 --> 00:25:22,042
Gretchen's been stealing meds
from my medicine cabinet,
495
00:25:22,085 --> 00:25:25,219
-a ton of them, for weeks now.
-So what? She loves pills.
496
00:25:25,262 --> 00:25:27,743
No. This is the serious stuff.
497
00:25:27,787 --> 00:25:30,224
And I don't think
it's for fun this time.
498
00:25:33,749 --> 00:25:36,752
♪ We talked
till late that night♪
499
00:25:36,796 --> 00:25:38,362
♪ I walked her home♪
500
00:25:38,406 --> 00:25:40,756
♪ Debating gun rights♪
501
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,759
♪ We put our differences aside♪
502
00:25:43,803 --> 00:25:47,807
♪ Under the parking lights♪
503
00:25:51,811 --> 00:25:55,771
♪ Two years soon passed♪
504
00:25:55,815 --> 00:25:59,470
♪ She sent a picture
from Spain♪
505
00:25:59,514 --> 00:26:03,170
♪ On a stone street,
a seedling♪
506
00:26:03,213 --> 00:26:06,826
♪ Was growing in a storm drain♪
507
00:26:06,869 --> 00:26:09,785
♪ Familiar plight...♪
508
00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:17,793
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
509
00:26:29,326 --> 00:26:31,894
You're the Worst.
The final season.
510
00:26:31,938 --> 00:26:34,767
All new Wednesdays
at 10:00 on FXX.
511
00:26:36,812 --> 00:26:40,207
Okay, Tracy Cromwell.
What's your address
and date of birth?
512
00:26:40,250 --> 00:26:43,558
Mom. No one ever asks for it.
513
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:44,820
I just...
514
00:26:48,737 --> 00:26:50,391
Slut bucket.
515
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,089
ANNOUNCER: Better Things.
516
00:26:53,133 --> 00:26:55,048
All new
Thursdays at 10:00 on FX.
517
00:27:18,941 --> 00:27:20,160
-Oh!
-Aaah!
518
00:27:25,948 --> 00:27:26,949
FX!
519
00:27:28,995 --> 00:27:31,040
MAN: Five, six, seven, eight.
520
00:27:52,975 --> 00:27:56,370
-Again.
37129
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof