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1
00:00:02,690 --> 00:00:04,396
They're calling it
one of today's news stories.
2
00:00:04,420 --> 00:00:07,090
Two fugitives... Angela Tribeca
and Angela Geils Jr.
3
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:10,890
Are on the run after a plot
to steal the Louisiana Purchase
4
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,230
was foiled by
Vice President Perry.
5
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:16,570
Their last known location
was inside a convenience store.
6
00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:21,500
Do you have anything
to clean off DNA?
7
00:00:21,510 --> 00:00:23,640
No. Sorry.
8
00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:26,710
Can I get a six-pack
of Coors Light?
9
00:00:28,510 --> 00:00:30,380
And a beef roll-up.
10
00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:32,110
Credit or debit?
11
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,720
Do you take bills with
fluorescent dye all over 'em?
12
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,720
Just nothing over $20.
13
00:00:36,790 --> 00:00:38,920
I'm gonna go warm up the car.
14
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:43,190
You in the convenience store,
they're right in front of you.
15
00:00:47,470 --> 00:00:49,400
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
16
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,670
Don't even think about it.
17
00:00:57,740 --> 00:00:59,180
Grab the beer.
18
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,350
Nice car you got here, lady.
19
00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:10,550
Trade you this crowbar for it.
20
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,960
Sucker!
21
00:01:28,110 --> 00:01:30,770
Ugh!
They didn't clean.
22
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,560
Uh, yeah. We're gonna need
housekeeping in room 102.
23
00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:43,520
Look out!
24
00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:46,120
No, it's fine.
25
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,860
Everything's been lovely so far.
26
00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:50,990
Yeah, thank you. Okay.
27
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,000
What's going on, son?
28
00:01:57,070 --> 00:01:58,870
It's just hitting, you know?
29
00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:02,940
The SDF, the "team."
It was all a shame.
30
00:02:03,010 --> 00:02:04,810
Scholls, Atkins.
31
00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:07,810
Jesus! Charo.
32
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,010
The woman I went
to second base with.
33
00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:11,326
She was playing me
the whole time.
34
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:14,350
Don't forget Hoffman.
35
00:02:14,420 --> 00:02:17,020
More people in my life
that abandoned me.
36
00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:19,020
Hey. That is not fair,
okay?
37
00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:21,960
I abandoned you
to make my life easier,
38
00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:24,160
not for some kind of
international land grab.
39
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:25,960
How could I believe
in anybody anymore?
40
00:02:26,030 --> 00:02:28,570
You can't. I learned
a long time ago
41
00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:31,700
that human beings
are rotten to the core.
42
00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:34,040
They only do things that
benefit them in the short term.
43
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,510
I call that bed.
44
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:39,240
I thought they cared about us.
45
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,840
I thought they cared
what we're doing.
46
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,380
I know.
47
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,280
You were so stupid.
48
00:02:47,450 --> 00:02:51,050
But hey.
You got me, okay?
49
00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:54,390
And I'm never,
ever gonna abandon you...
50
00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:56,260
for a second time.
51
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,036
And even though he hasn't
been featured in this season,
52
00:02:58,060 --> 00:03:01,130
your father cares
about you, too.
53
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,200
That's why he sent this
for you in the mail.
54
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:06,170
Dad's badge.
55
00:03:08,410 --> 00:03:11,270
I can't believe
he remembered my birthday.
56
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,210
Yeah, how could
anyone forget that?
57
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:19,750
That's why I got you
this very special, uhh,
58
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:23,190
bible with a bullet hole in it.
59
00:03:25,490 --> 00:03:28,160
Whoa. Cool.
60
00:03:28,230 --> 00:03:30,560
You could spin it on
your finger and everything.
61
00:03:30,630 --> 00:03:34,900
Thanks, mom! Now, what's this
about going to second base?
62
00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:53,650
I want them found,
and I want them found now.
63
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,650
Are those them!
64
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,390
Oh, my God. Every time.
65
00:03:58,460 --> 00:04:00,390
So, who wants
to tell me how we let
66
00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:03,790
A.J. and Tribeca escape
after we flawlessly framed them
67
00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:07,400
for stealing the
Louisiana Purchase?
68
00:04:07,470 --> 00:04:11,000
Hmm?
69
00:04:11,070 --> 00:04:13,400
I'm gonna start
calling on people.
70
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:17,010
Sweetheart, we've tracked their
location to a 25-mile radius.
71
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,386
Their credit cards
have been frozen.
72
00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:19,880
Their passports
have been canceled,
73
00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:22,680
and their Uber ratings have
been downgraded to one star.
74
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:26,480
I can't stay mad at you.
75
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,690
There's something going
on between you two.
76
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,490
Listen, Joe, I take
full responsibility
77
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,360
for the fact that
these guys screwed up,
78
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,430
but we need to stay focused
on the task at hand.
79
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:45,440
Returning the Louisiana Purchase
to the President of France.
80
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:49,440
Thereby undoing the disastrous
transaction made in 1803.
81
00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:52,110
And forming a new country
in the central United States
82
00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:53,780
of which you will
be made President,
83
00:04:53,850 --> 00:04:55,050
and I will be First Lady.
84
00:04:55,110 --> 00:04:57,650
Yes. Yes.
85
00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:02,190
Now then,
the President of France
86
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:05,390
is awaiting my arrival
at Gerard Depardieu Airport.
87
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:07,060
While I'm aboard Air Force Two,
88
00:05:07,130 --> 00:05:08,790
I want you to track down
A.J. and Tribeca.
89
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,590
They're the only thing
that stands between me
90
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,176
and becoming the president of
what I'm gonna call
91
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,130
Lil' France with a hop-hop
apostrophe after Lil'
92
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,330
to play to the younger citizens.
93
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,740
You said you were going
to name it Scholls.
94
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,470
It didn't test well.
95
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:25,110
Good call on whoever
ordered the deli platter.
96
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:29,080
I am famished.
97
00:05:29,150 --> 00:05:31,610
Ohh.
98
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,620
What are we gonna do?
99
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:36,090
Once that document gets
to France, it's game over.
100
00:05:36,150 --> 00:05:38,590
They'll have the deed
to the entire Midwest.
101
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,890
Okay, so we figure out a way
to sneak aboard Air Force Two.
102
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,430
We secure the Purchase.
103
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,700
Hold Perry hostage.
Notify the president.
104
00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:49,606
And then land safely
at Andrews Air Force Base.
105
00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:52,370
Air Force Two is the second-most
secure plane in the world.
106
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,710
I realize that.
And we're wanted fugitives.
107
00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:58,110
Our faces are plastered
all over town.
108
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:01,680
But his isn't.
109
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,580
But our faces are.
110
00:06:04,650 --> 00:06:06,426
And we're the ones that need
to get on the plane.
111
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:09,120
But if one of us had his face,
we would sail right through.
112
00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:10,590
But one of us doesn't.
113
00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,190
So, we still have
the same problem.
114
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:15,590
But what if one of us did?
115
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,190
Ugh.
116
00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:18,930
She's saying that
if you cut off my face
117
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:23,600
and put it on one of your faces,
you can pass through security.
118
00:06:23,670 --> 00:06:27,200
Oh, so you mean we take his...
119
00:06:27,270 --> 00:06:30,670
face off?
120
00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:33,180
I will become him.
121
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:41,350
Sorry, folks.
Looks like Air Force Two
122
00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:44,690
is stuck here
another 45 minutes.
123
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,430
Cardin!
124
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,500
How the hell did you get
away from those animals?
125
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,500
It sure as hell wasn't easy.
126
00:06:53,570 --> 00:06:56,030
Tribeca put up quite a fight.
127
00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:58,370
Man, she's amazing.
128
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,640
What happened to
your French accent?
129
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:02,110
Oh, right.
130
00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:04,970
You know that thing where you
start to bond with your captors?
131
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,510
I must have taken
on their accent.
132
00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:08,640
Oh, there it is!
133
00:07:08,710 --> 00:07:10,380
Ahh, liberation!
134
00:07:10,450 --> 00:07:14,180
Ah, it's very sweet and...
135
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:17,590
Anyway.
Pierre. You're here.
136
00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:18,590
How on earth?
137
00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:21,860
Actually,
it was easiest on earth.
138
00:07:21,930 --> 00:07:25,130
Tribeca and A.J. were no match
for Pierre Cardin.
139
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,600
Although Tribeca
does somehow manage
140
00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:29,530
to be both tough and elegant
at the same time.
141
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,940
Really? That's not how
I would describe her.
142
00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:35,470
Okay, folks.
143
00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:37,116
Looks like we've got
things sorted out here
144
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,670
and are ready to
board Air Force Two.
145
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,480
We are calling families
and small children
146
00:07:40,550 --> 00:07:44,680
and anybody who needs additional
time to get on the aircraft.
147
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:46,380
Let's go.
148
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,796
- Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
- It's a red light.
149
00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:54,290
Oh, no, no, no.
150
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:56,560
And then we went
to Jefferson Memorial.
151
00:07:56,630 --> 00:08:01,830
Ugh. Hands down, filthiest
bathrooms I've ever seen.
152
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:05,170
I could barely flush.
Zero toilet paper.
153
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,440
Urine all over the sink.
154
00:08:07,510 --> 00:08:10,570
Could you maybe
find another seat?
155
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,110
Oh, sorry.
156
00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:13,310
Secret Service has to stay near
157
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:16,850
the vice president at all times.
158
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:20,250
Season Two of "The Detour."
Nice.
159
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,460
That chime means we've reached
our cruising altitude,
160
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,720
and you are free
to silently fart in your seat.
161
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:29,260
Oh, good.
162
00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:32,460
Uh, pardon me, I'm going to see
163
00:08:32,530 --> 00:08:37,000
if they have
gluten-free blankets.
164
00:08:37,070 --> 00:08:39,340
What can I get for you,
Mr. Vice President?
165
00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:41,000
I'll just have a cup
of coffee, please.
166
00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:42,540
We have Coors Light.
167
00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:45,680
Coors Light, as in born
in the Rockies, Coors Light?
168
00:08:45,740 --> 00:08:48,410
Yes. Well, why
didn't you say so?
169
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,550
I'll have one now
and another one in an hour
170
00:08:50,550 --> 00:08:53,480
when my body has safely
metabolized the first one.
171
00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:57,150
And that's it.
Good thinking, sir.
172
00:09:16,910 --> 00:09:19,110
I hope it wasn't too
cramped in there for you.
173
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:31,920
Thanks, mom.
How we doing?
174
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:35,330
Armed and dangerous, son.
Armed and dangerous.
175
00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:49,540
Let's move. Okay. You work
your way up from the back.
176
00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:51,516
I'm gonna follow this compartment
all the way to the front.
177
00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:54,010
Copy that.
And hey.
178
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,780
Be careful.
179
00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,280
I don't want anything
happening to my baby boy.
180
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,770
Hyah!
181
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,180
Hyah!
182
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,550
Whoo.
183
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,890
Hyah!
184
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:46,330
Ha!
185
00:10:56,270 --> 00:10:58,270
Hyah!
186
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,010
Whoo.
187
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,750
Oh, wait. Shit.
188
00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:10,820
Ugh.
189
00:11:10,890 --> 00:11:12,620
Nope.
190
00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:14,160
Ugh.
191
00:11:14,230 --> 00:11:15,606
What, what?! What's happening?
What's going on?
192
00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:18,090
Shut up.
You're coming with me.
193
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,360
Not if the Secret Service
has anything to do with it.
194
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,970
Move it.
195
00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:34,510
You sure this is
the right place?
196
00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:35,910
No doubt about it.
197
00:11:35,910 --> 00:11:37,780
Sir?
198
00:11:37,850 --> 00:11:38,980
I found Cardin.
199
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:43,920
Oh, my God.
200
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:49,830
Well, well, well.
201
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:52,360
If it isn't
Vice President Joe Perry.
202
00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:53,700
You're not Cardin, are you?
203
00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:55,630
Why don't you
figure out who I am?
204
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,500
I'll give you 20 years.
205
00:11:57,570 --> 00:11:58,500
Tribeca.
206
00:11:58,570 --> 00:12:00,440
In the flesh...
207
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:01,640
of another person.
208
00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:03,310
You'll never get away with it.
209
00:12:03,380 --> 00:12:04,840
These pilots
are flying to Paris,
210
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,216
no matter what orders
they're given.
211
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,580
I don't know.
212
00:12:07,650 --> 00:12:09,086
I think the pilots might
be swayed by your head
213
00:12:09,110 --> 00:12:10,780
rolling into the cockpit.
Well, of course.
214
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:13,050
Anyone's gonna
be curious about that.
215
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,050
Care to wager?
216
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,050
Loser gets 20 years in prison.
217
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,920
All right! I sent you to
prison for 20 years once!
218
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,330
Jesus!
Turn this plane around!
219
00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,776
We're calling the president,
and we're landing in Washington.
220
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,130
Hope you like being executed.
221
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,000
I'm afraid we'll never
find out how he feels
222
00:12:28,070 --> 00:12:29,730
about being executed.
223
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,100
Drop the guns.
Now.
224
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:34,540
Sure thing.
225
00:12:35,940 --> 00:12:37,740
Ugh!
226
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,680
Anyone see that coming?
227
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:45,010
Mom,
you shot Dr. Scholls!
228
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,280
Scholls died the second
she switched sides.
229
00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:50,420
Monica, I'm sorry.
230
00:12:50,490 --> 00:12:54,860
Thank you for raising me those
three weeks when I was a baby.
231
00:12:56,030 --> 00:13:01,770
I loved kissing
your big... chubby... teeth.
232
00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:09,510
Why don't I just go talk to the
pilots about changing course?
233
00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:16,650
Sir? Air Force Two
is changing course.
234
00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:19,320
Something's wrong.
235
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,920
I thought you said we had
some down time before it landed.
236
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,320
Come in, Air Force Two.
Come in, Air Force Two.
237
00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:28,190
This is Perry.
238
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:31,130
Joe.
It looks like...
239
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,730
your plane is changing course.
240
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,400
Everything okay?
241
00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:36,530
Everything is okay.
242
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:40,870
Are you sure everything's okay?
It doesn't sound like it.
243
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:44,210
No, everything is
definitely okay.
244
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:49,280
If you're in trouble, signify
by using the duress code.
245
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,210
I am not under duress.
246
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,420
Duress code received.
247
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,480
Initiating emergency response.
248
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:59,160
Cancel emergency response.
I am not under duress.
249
00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:01,020
Copy on duress
authentication code.
250
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,360
Moving ahead with response.
251
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,830
I am really, really,
really not under duress.
252
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:09,100
That's three "reallys."
Duress level three.
253
00:14:09,170 --> 00:14:11,430
Call the president.
254
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,700
Atkins, listen to me
very closely.
255
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,170
I am not sending you
the authentication code.
256
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:19,580
Or any other codes.
Throw 'em all out the window.
257
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,040
Got it? All of 'em.
258
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,110
Now, I'm the vice president,
and everyone onboard
259
00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:26,920
is acting of their own volition
and are totally safe.
260
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:30,450
So, stand down and
don't contact me again.
261
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,590
Roger that.
262
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,390
They've got Perry dead
to rights in the cockpit,
263
00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:38,236
and they're turning around
heading back to Washington
264
00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:40,730
to return
the Louisiana Purchase.
265
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,000
He gave me the exact
code word-for-word.
266
00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:50,940
We have to shoot
the plane out of the sky.
267
00:14:51,010 --> 00:14:52,210
Sir, we can't.
I know. I know.
268
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,410
It was just fun to think
about for a second.
269
00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:57,510
Get Scholls on the horn.
And I mean now!
270
00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:14,930
I'm thinking of growing a beard.
271
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,730
Isn't there like
a super-itchy phase?
272
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,670
Drop your gun
and let go of the plane.
273
00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:24,490
Did you really
think you could...
274
00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:29,410
Some people just can't
handle the cabin pressure.
275
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:30,680
Thanks, mom!
276
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:37,220
Always remember to put
your mask on first.
277
00:15:37,290 --> 00:15:39,220
Susan. Thank God.
278
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,820
Ugh!
279
00:15:41,830 --> 00:15:44,530
Nobody kills my mom
and gets away with it.
280
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,700
It's okay, A.J.
She just winged me.
281
00:15:48,770 --> 00:15:51,100
Oh. Sorry, Susan.
282
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:52,970
Altitude, altitude!
283
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,170
Ground approaching
faster than I'd like.
284
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,570
For God Sakes!
The plane's going down!
285
00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,110
Get the real pilots
back in here!
286
00:16:00,180 --> 00:16:01,110
Hang on a second!
287
00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:03,580
Ugh!
Ugh!
288
00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:06,120
What are you saying?
Are you insane?!
289
00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:08,520
I surrender.
You can have the purchase back.
290
00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:11,720
The deal is off!
Just save my life!
291
00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:13,660
Think you can land this thing?
292
00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:19,260
You bet your ass I can.
293
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,670
Sorry.
294
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,280
You tried your best.
295
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,210
Thanks.
296
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,210
Man, this thing was hot.
297
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:38,280
Thank you.
298
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:42,020
Where's Perry?
299
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:48,430
Freeze, or I'll drop you
like a sick beat.
300
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,370
Madame President.
301
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:05,640
Thank God.
I caught the terrorists.
302
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:07,310
They tried to hijack my plane,
303
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:08,580
but I fought them off.
304
00:17:08,650 --> 00:17:12,720
Oh, stick it up your ass, Joe.
Everybody knows you're dirty.
305
00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:15,050
Someone arrest this traitor.
306
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,650
With pleasure.
307
00:17:19,190 --> 00:17:21,520
Oh! Okay.
What are you doing?
308
00:17:21,590 --> 00:17:23,390
Nobody move, or the kid gets it.
309
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:24,930
You don't have the guts.
310
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,860
Actually, Tribeca, it's you
that doesn't have the guts.
311
00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,530
I've known it
from the beginning.
312
00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:32,340
Why do you think I sent you
to prison for 20 years?
313
00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:34,200
I kept you on ice
until your son was old enough
314
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,870
to join the Special
Division Force.
315
00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:39,610
You see,
he's my insurance policy.
316
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:40,880
I'm warning you, Joe.
317
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:43,010
You do this, and you
can forget about
318
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,550
breaking the next tie
in the Senate.
319
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:47,950
I'm afraid you don't know me
as well as you think you do,
320
00:17:47,950 --> 00:17:49,690
Mr. Vice President.
Joe's fine.
321
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:53,220
See, I taught my kids that
humans are rotten to the core,
322
00:17:53,290 --> 00:17:56,030
and they only do what benefits
them in the short term.
323
00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:58,090
You think I'm any different?
324
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,160
Even you wouldn't shoot
your own son, Tribeca.
325
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,960
Ugh!
326
00:18:02,030 --> 00:18:03,770
Mom, what have you done?
327
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:09,110
Like I said, A.J.
Don't trust anyone.
328
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:13,180
That is, anyone except me.
329
00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:15,780
'Cause you're my baby boy.
330
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:22,720
Wow.
You aimed for dad's badge.
331
00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:24,520
Uh-huh.
332
00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:25,660
I love you, mom.
333
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,860
I like you, too, kid.
334
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,000
Everybody freeze, damn it!
335
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:39,000
If anybody moves a muscle,
I swear I will...
336
00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:40,316
I told you were
were gonna be late.
337
00:18:40,340 --> 00:18:43,010
And I told you
the drive-thru takes longer.
338
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,280
Atkins, once again,
you served this country
339
00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:48,210
with great distinction.
340
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,880
And Joe, I knew from the moment
341
00:18:50,950 --> 00:18:54,890
I chose you as my running mate
that you were corrupt.
342
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:57,420
I assigned Atkins
here to tail you
343
00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:00,690
until you slipped up.
344
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,490
You were on our side
the whole time?
345
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,760
That's right, Tribeca.
346
00:19:04,830 --> 00:19:08,300
I'll always be
Lieutenant Atkins.
347
00:19:08,370 --> 00:19:09,430
Atkins?
348
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:13,040
I hereby appoint you
Secretary of Defense.
349
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:17,910
And Tribeca, how does
vice president sound to you?
350
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:21,240
With all due respect,
Madame President,
351
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:23,850
I've been doing a lot of
thinking in the past 11 seconds,
352
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,920
and I think it might be time
353
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:28,650
for me to ride off
into the sunset.
354
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,050
The world is too different now,
355
00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:34,730
and I just can't
find my place in it.
356
00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:36,460
I'll be vice president!
357
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:38,300
You got it.
358
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:43,930
Wait!
359
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,870
Wait!
She's got a bomb!
360
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:48,740
Wait! No, she doesn't.
She doesn't.
361
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:50,740
It's... It's a backpack.
Stand down.
362
00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:52,680
Oh.
363
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,280
Did you tell them
about the... Yes.
364
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,750
Does she know about the...
Yes, we've covered everything.
365
00:19:57,820 --> 00:19:59,280
Oh.
366
00:19:59,350 --> 00:20:03,290
Except what Tribeca's
gonna do next.
367
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,890
I just wanna be as far away
368
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:11,160
from rules and structure
as I possibly can.
369
00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:23,440
My name is Tribeca,
and this is U.S. History.
370
00:20:23,510 --> 00:20:25,980
Tribeca!
Get the hell in here!
371
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,780
Coming, Principal Atkins.
26861
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