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1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:03,766
- Aw!
- Aw!
2
00:00:03,768 --> 00:00:06,936
It's so cute, I just
want to kiss her all over.
3
00:00:06,938 --> 00:00:08,371
So, since we're testing new wetsuits
4
00:00:08,373 --> 00:00:10,139
with linings that mimic her fur,
5
00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:12,408
I brought in an actual
otter for the photo shoot.
6
00:00:12,628 --> 00:00:14,995
Zeb, how's the endurance
test for the wetsuit going?
7
00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:16,119
Not great.
8
00:00:16,144 --> 00:00:17,713
I graduated from Princeton,
9
00:00:17,715 --> 00:00:20,850
and now I'm trying to pee
on myself to stay warm.
10
00:00:21,119 --> 00:00:22,518
Careful, I tried that once
11
00:00:22,543 --> 00:00:24,478
when my dad forgot to pick
me up from ice skating.
12
00:00:24,503 --> 00:00:27,371
It worked, and then it didn't.
13
00:00:27,682 --> 00:00:29,775
This otter's so cute.
14
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,501
How do we not have a tiny
tuxedo and a cigar right now?
15
00:00:32,541 --> 00:00:34,374
Watch out because, like any animal,
16
00:00:34,399 --> 00:00:36,699
if she feels cornered or
threatened, she'll attack.
17
00:00:36,989 --> 00:00:38,823
I know you said something
important, but I just learned
18
00:00:38,848 --> 00:00:40,180
face swap works on otters.
19
00:00:41,199 --> 00:00:43,332
[Emma laughs]
20
00:00:44,151 --> 00:00:45,345
Good morning.
21
00:00:45,564 --> 00:00:47,156
Wait, wait, I know that smell.
22
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,031
Don't tell me, don't tell me.
23
00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:50,033
- It's an otter.
- MASON: Wow.
24
00:00:50,035 --> 00:00:51,735
[applause] How did you do that?
25
00:00:51,737 --> 00:00:53,637
Oh, the face swap's still on the screen.
26
00:00:54,943 --> 00:00:57,643
But the otter is not the
only cute visitor today.
27
00:00:57,668 --> 00:00:59,353
Paul's gonna be coming
in in a few minutes,
28
00:00:59,378 --> 00:01:01,611
so I would really appreciate
it if you could be nice to him.
29
00:01:01,613 --> 00:01:02,779
Notice I'm talking to all of you
30
00:01:02,781 --> 00:01:04,648
but looking directly at Jack.
31
00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:06,449
All right, so we finally
get to meet your fianc?.
32
00:01:06,451 --> 00:01:08,451
He's a little bit nervous to begin with,
33
00:01:08,453 --> 00:01:10,629
but once he warms up to
you, he can be very sweet.
34
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,833
You realize that nothing
you've ever said about him
35
00:01:12,858 --> 00:01:17,176
contradicts the prevailing
theory that Paul is a cat?
36
00:01:17,201 --> 00:01:18,676
Paul is not a cat.
37
00:01:18,701 --> 00:01:21,469
He's... people.
38
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,215
Is he bringing you lunch?
39
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:25,417
Maybe a dead bird?
40
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,386
No, he's popping in
to go over a few things
41
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:28,438
for the party tonight.
42
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,933
Oh, right, your re-engagement party.
43
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,591
What a whimsical way of commemorating
44
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,194
over three years of cold feet.
45
00:01:35,868 --> 00:01:37,096
Very funny.
46
00:01:37,345 --> 00:01:40,877
No, we are celebrating because
we did set a wedding date.
47
00:01:40,902 --> 00:01:43,335
And I like the term "re-engagement."
48
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,137
I mean, what else are you
supposed to call a party
49
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,735
after an engagement party?
50
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,694
Usually, it's called a wedding.
51
00:01:50,471 --> 00:01:52,923
Look, Jack, I know mocking
people is your twisted way
52
00:01:52,948 --> 00:01:54,179
of showing people you care, but...
53
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,448
Oh, my God, is that true?
54
00:01:57,676 --> 00:01:58,876
Paul is sensitive.
55
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,185
So please don't make fun of him.
56
00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:03,910
Yes, of course, I won't
make fun of him, starting...
57
00:02:03,935 --> 00:02:06,036
Paul is a cat... now.
58
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,426
Thank you.
59
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,153
Ah, here he is.
60
00:02:09,178 --> 00:02:10,940
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi, babe.
61
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,264
- Mwah.
- Mwah.
62
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,083
Everyone, this is Paul.
63
00:02:14,108 --> 00:02:15,207
Sorry I'm late, I, uh,
64
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,202
I curled up and fell
asleep in that sunny spot
65
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:19,171
right near the window.
66
00:02:20,942 --> 00:02:22,975
[restrained laugh]
67
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:24,543
[eagle screeches]
68
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,011
69
00:02:26,035 --> 00:02:29,225
Synced and corrected by javiernv
www.addic7ed.com
70
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,684
[phone ringing]
71
00:02:34,115 --> 00:02:35,903
So, you're Paul.
72
00:02:35,928 --> 00:02:36,993
Yep, I'm Paul.
73
00:02:37,018 --> 00:02:39,106
Rudd. Gotcha, I'm not Paul Rudd,
74
00:02:39,131 --> 00:02:40,564
I wasn't in Clueless.
75
00:02:41,189 --> 00:02:42,889
I'm Paul... Giamatti. Gotcha.
76
00:02:42,891 --> 00:02:44,316
He's dead. No, he's not, still alive.
77
00:02:44,341 --> 00:02:45,992
Gotcha again.
78
00:02:46,927 --> 00:02:48,594
I don't know when to laugh.
79
00:02:49,052 --> 00:02:50,863
No one does.
80
00:02:50,865 --> 00:02:52,402
I come bearing gifts.
81
00:02:52,427 --> 00:02:53,593
Uh, you must be Emma.
82
00:02:53,595 --> 00:02:54,761
Brooke said you would love
83
00:02:54,763 --> 00:02:56,062
strawberry apricot.
84
00:02:56,064 --> 00:02:57,931
Oh, it's so cute!
85
00:02:57,933 --> 00:02:59,466
It's a jam.
86
00:02:59,468 --> 00:03:01,301
It's a preserve, but
I'll let it go this time.
87
00:03:02,304 --> 00:03:04,170
You must be Mason. And guess what.
88
00:03:04,172 --> 00:03:06,021
This is in a Mason jar,
89
00:03:06,046 --> 00:03:08,646
so that's obviously hysterical, Mason.
90
00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:10,343
[laughs]
91
00:03:10,345 --> 00:03:12,879
[forced laugh]
92
00:03:12,881 --> 00:03:14,681
Hey, babe, I'm just gonna make a call
93
00:03:14,683 --> 00:03:16,516
- and then we can head out.
- Oh, great, great, great, great.
94
00:03:16,518 --> 00:03:18,451
So I hear you guys are
going out for the weekend.
95
00:03:18,453 --> 00:03:19,452
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
96
00:03:19,454 --> 00:03:21,020
I was, uh, I was pushing for Seattle.
97
00:03:21,022 --> 00:03:23,356
They've got that cool market
where they throw around fish.
98
00:03:23,358 --> 00:03:25,725
I could watch that all day.
99
00:03:26,517 --> 00:03:29,028
I bet you'd be there with bells on.
100
00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:31,598
But, uh, we're headed to New
Orleans where we got engaged.
101
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,244
Yeah. Hasn't that city
been through enough?
102
00:03:35,504 --> 00:03:37,203
Um, yeah, actually,
that-that reminds me,
103
00:03:37,205 --> 00:03:39,205
I've got all these photos from
our first trip to New Orleans.
104
00:03:39,207 --> 00:03:40,840
I was wondering if you guys
could maybe throw together,
105
00:03:40,842 --> 00:03:42,447
like, a-a slideshow for tonight?
106
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,872
- For tonight? Sure.
- Oh.
107
00:03:44,246 --> 00:03:45,211
Cool.
108
00:03:45,213 --> 00:03:46,546
And, uh, Jack, uh,
109
00:03:46,548 --> 00:03:48,915
can I see you for a
t?te-?-t?te in the kitchenette?
110
00:03:49,334 --> 00:03:51,084
Ooh, accidental rhyme.
111
00:03:51,086 --> 00:03:53,453
Gotcha, I rhymed it on purpose.
112
00:03:54,147 --> 00:03:55,855
[forced laughing]
113
00:03:55,857 --> 00:03:58,057
[Jack and Paul laugh]
114
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,095
I can just whip this up on PowerPoint.
115
00:04:02,097 --> 00:04:03,329
PowerPoint?
116
00:04:03,331 --> 00:04:04,230
That's good if you're doing
117
00:04:04,232 --> 00:04:05,865
a third grade book report, amateur.
118
00:04:05,867 --> 00:04:07,066
[chuckling]: No.
119
00:04:07,068 --> 00:04:08,067
We're doing iMovie.
120
00:04:08,069 --> 00:04:09,135
iMovie?
121
00:04:09,137 --> 00:04:10,937
I'm just gonna grab that idea
122
00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:13,239
and drag it into the
trash. [clicks tongue]
123
00:04:13,241 --> 00:04:15,008
We're going with Final Cut Pro.
124
00:04:15,010 --> 00:04:17,377
Okay, guys, love the passion,
125
00:04:17,379 --> 00:04:19,879
but I'm gonna pull rank
and say we go with my plan.
126
00:04:20,506 --> 00:04:21,648
Pull rank?
127
00:04:21,650 --> 00:04:23,149
Dude, you're not in charge of us...
128
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:24,756
- I am.
- I am.
129
00:04:30,525 --> 00:04:32,091
We should figure this out.
130
00:04:32,093 --> 00:04:33,250
Totally.
131
00:04:33,275 --> 00:04:35,742
Except I'm the one saying
we should figure this out.
132
00:04:37,199 --> 00:04:40,567
- "T?te-?-t?te, kitchenette."
- [laughing]: Yeah.
133
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:42,735
Milk?
134
00:04:42,737 --> 00:04:45,004
Oh, no, I'm-I'm lactose intolerant.
135
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,780
So, uh, Roland felt bad
about being out of town,
136
00:04:49,805 --> 00:04:51,110
so he, uh, he sent me a toast
137
00:04:51,112 --> 00:04:52,779
for someone to read
at the party tonight.
138
00:04:52,781 --> 00:04:54,414
I think you would be perfect for that.
139
00:04:54,416 --> 00:04:55,648
Oh, Paul,
140
00:04:55,650 --> 00:04:57,250
you seem like a very nice guy,
141
00:04:57,252 --> 00:04:59,485
so, what's a nice way to tell someone
142
00:04:59,487 --> 00:05:01,287
that you don't want to do something?
143
00:05:01,289 --> 00:05:02,622
[laughs]
144
00:05:02,624 --> 00:05:04,591
I don't know what Brooke was
talking about, you're funny.
145
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,561
Seriously, though, um,
146
00:05:08,563 --> 00:05:10,296
I know it'd mean so much to her.
147
00:05:10,298 --> 00:05:12,332
[snickers] Geez.
148
00:05:12,334 --> 00:05:15,668
I've never... this speech
has an intermission.
149
00:05:17,072 --> 00:05:18,705
Yeah, sure, I'd love to.
150
00:05:18,707 --> 00:05:20,240
Oh, fantastic, oh.
151
00:05:20,242 --> 00:05:22,108
I knew we'd get along,
we have so much in common.
152
00:05:22,594 --> 00:05:25,172
Well, we have been in a
lot of the same places.
153
00:05:28,899 --> 00:05:31,184
CLARK: Duh, a Digital
Conversation Specialist
154
00:05:31,186 --> 00:05:34,220
obviously reports to the
Online Content Curator.
155
00:05:34,222 --> 00:05:36,445
Yeah, maybe in Iran.
156
00:05:37,273 --> 00:05:39,475
Guys, have you spent
this whole time arguing
157
00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:41,027
over who has seniority?
158
00:05:41,029 --> 00:05:42,528
Not the whole time.
159
00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:45,098
The otter got bored, so
we put her in the tank.
160
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,799
Jack, did you say they attack?
161
00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:47,834
Only when cornered.
162
00:05:47,859 --> 00:05:51,661
Well, this tank is nothing but corners!
163
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,573
164
00:05:56,601 --> 00:05:58,341
Hey, hey, hey, party people.
165
00:05:58,407 --> 00:05:59,806
You all set with the slideshow?
166
00:05:59,808 --> 00:06:02,075
I am. I rented this
projector from the library.
167
00:06:02,077 --> 00:06:04,478
Gotcha. I actually paid $3,000 for it.
168
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,579
What?!
169
00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:06,813
[laughs]
170
00:06:06,815 --> 00:06:08,515
I'll see you guys up there.
171
00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:10,629
Crap!
172
00:06:10,819 --> 00:06:12,986
That was the perfect opportunity
173
00:06:12,988 --> 00:06:14,554
to tell Paul we didn't do the slideshow!
174
00:06:14,556 --> 00:06:16,423
Why did we spend all day
arguing over the fact that
175
00:06:16,425 --> 00:06:17,824
you two report to me?
176
00:06:17,826 --> 00:06:18,859
Report to you?
177
00:06:18,861 --> 00:06:20,761
I should fire both your asses.
178
00:06:22,564 --> 00:06:25,465
Man, this speech is the most
confusing and bloated thing
179
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:26,566
I've ever seen.
180
00:06:26,568 --> 00:06:28,922
And I've seen manatees have sex.
181
00:06:30,339 --> 00:06:31,972
That was for work, right?
182
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:33,570
Uh, sure.
183
00:06:34,677 --> 00:06:36,055
You all right, man?
184
00:06:36,375 --> 00:06:38,145
This whole Brooke and
Paul engagement stuff
185
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,680
must be kind of awkward for you, huh?
186
00:06:39,682 --> 00:06:41,000
Why would it be awkward?
187
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,894
Well, you're standing in
for the father of the woman
188
00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:45,318
you slept with at a party
189
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,121
to celebrate her re-engagement
to someone who isn't you.
190
00:06:49,224 --> 00:06:50,586
And your fly's down.
191
00:06:51,383 --> 00:06:54,494
It's down on purpose; it's a power move.
192
00:06:54,496 --> 00:06:55,929
[glass clinking]
193
00:06:55,931 --> 00:06:57,397
Thank you all for coming.
194
00:06:57,399 --> 00:07:00,125
I know there's been a bit
of confusion over tonight,
195
00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:02,150
so I just wanted to say that...
196
00:07:02,371 --> 00:07:05,072
yes, this venue was our second choice.
197
00:07:05,074 --> 00:07:06,239
[laughter]
198
00:07:06,241 --> 00:07:09,476
This is the first I've heard of this.
199
00:07:09,478 --> 00:07:10,677
A special thanks to
200
00:07:10,679 --> 00:07:12,479
Clark, Mason and Emma
for putting together
201
00:07:12,481 --> 00:07:14,848
the fantastic slideshow
we're all about to see.
202
00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:17,039
[Brooke coos]
203
00:07:17,753 --> 00:07:20,430
But first, Brooke,
uh, I have a surprise.
204
00:07:20,455 --> 00:07:22,299
I know you're really sad
your father couldn't be here.
205
00:07:22,324 --> 00:07:24,558
Roland couldn't get
back from Canada in time,
206
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,126
but he wrote a toast.
207
00:07:26,128 --> 00:07:29,180
And who better to read
it than Jack Gordon?
208
00:07:33,712 --> 00:07:35,679
Please say "Gotcha." [laughs]
209
00:07:37,464 --> 00:07:38,997
[Jack clears throat]
210
00:07:41,148 --> 00:07:43,977
"Brooke, you're the love of my life."
211
00:07:43,979 --> 00:07:45,879
[guests gasp]
212
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,327
Oh, I should point out
that I've already started
213
00:07:48,352 --> 00:07:49,484
Roland's speech.
214
00:07:52,203 --> 00:07:54,955
"Brooke, when I look in your eyes,
215
00:07:54,957 --> 00:07:56,562
my world comes into focus."
216
00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:57,991
You know what? Um...
217
00:07:57,993 --> 00:07:59,426
I think Roland would be okay
218
00:07:59,428 --> 00:08:01,728
if I just skipped to
the highlights, uh...
219
00:08:01,730 --> 00:08:04,664
Oh, this looks a little more safe.
220
00:08:04,666 --> 00:08:07,167
"Thoughts on my family.
221
00:08:07,169 --> 00:08:09,102
"Before you came into my life, Brooke,
222
00:08:09,104 --> 00:08:11,505
"I was addicted to thrills
in the outside world,
223
00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:13,740
but I was hollow on the inside."
224
00:08:13,742 --> 00:08:15,075
[Jack snores, chuckles nervously]
225
00:08:15,873 --> 00:08:19,008
I'll find something that
people can relate to. Ugh.
226
00:08:19,882 --> 00:08:21,715
"Paul has a splendid sense of humor."
227
00:08:21,717 --> 00:08:23,116
Nope. Uh...
228
00:08:25,432 --> 00:08:28,138
"And he's a smart chap
because only a fool
229
00:08:28,163 --> 00:08:30,547
would not stay with you for..."
230
00:08:33,495 --> 00:08:35,128
"...ever." Right.
231
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:36,696
Oh, great.
232
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,937
"Brooke, I love you more
than you will ever know."
233
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:44,471
Geez,
234
00:08:44,473 --> 00:08:46,072
this speech is so long and complicated.
235
00:08:46,074 --> 00:08:47,641
It's just like Paul
and Brooke's engagement.
236
00:08:47,643 --> 00:08:49,442
[laughter]
237
00:08:49,444 --> 00:08:50,944
I mean, am I right?
238
00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:52,345
A re-engagement?
239
00:08:52,347 --> 00:08:54,381
Someone get a shotgun,
not for the wedding,
240
00:08:54,383 --> 00:08:56,516
but to put this saga out of its misery.
241
00:08:56,518 --> 00:08:57,818
[laughter]
242
00:08:57,820 --> 00:08:59,853
How dare you, sir.
243
00:09:01,264 --> 00:09:03,197
And, uh, of course, we're in Chicago.
244
00:09:03,222 --> 00:09:06,961
Home of the World
Series champs, the Cubs.
245
00:09:07,362 --> 00:09:09,262
[cheering and applause]
246
00:09:09,264 --> 00:09:10,897
And it's also home to Paul and Brooke,
247
00:09:10,899 --> 00:09:13,099
another team of lovable losers
248
00:09:13,101 --> 00:09:14,301
who won't get rings
249
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,069
for another 108 years.
250
00:09:16,071 --> 00:09:17,771
[laughter]
251
00:09:17,773 --> 00:09:19,172
Do me. Do me, please.
252
00:09:19,174 --> 00:09:20,607
"Do me, please."
253
00:09:20,609 --> 00:09:22,642
Oh, Alex, uh, what are
254
00:09:22,644 --> 00:09:26,413
phrases never heard in
Paul and Brooke's bedroom?
255
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,917
Ooh, direct hit. [nervous chuckle]
256
00:09:30,919 --> 00:09:32,986
Cheers, everyone.
257
00:09:32,988 --> 00:09:34,688
Mmm.
258
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:38,523
Are you okay?
259
00:09:38,548 --> 00:09:41,116
Yeah, I'm good. Let's, uh,
let's keep this party going.
260
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,163
Gotcha. If you need me,
I'll be getting drunk
261
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:45,131
and chasing pigeons in Grant Park.
262
00:09:46,802 --> 00:09:48,301
Oh, no.
263
00:09:48,303 --> 00:09:49,436
Come back.
264
00:09:49,438 --> 00:09:51,271
What about our slideshow?
265
00:09:59,039 --> 00:10:00,738
[elevator bell dings]
266
00:10:00,740 --> 00:10:02,073
Hey, Esther, how you doin'?
267
00:10:02,075 --> 00:10:03,541
Fine.
268
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,880
Just fine?
269
00:10:08,882 --> 00:10:10,248
You don't want to tell me
270
00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:13,218
about your creepy landlord
leaving you processed meats?
271
00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:16,148
Or how you turned your
closet into a bat sanctuary?
272
00:10:17,062 --> 00:10:18,156
Not today.
273
00:10:20,326 --> 00:10:22,953
This might be the scariest
conversation we've had yet.
274
00:10:34,321 --> 00:10:35,531
Mason?
275
00:10:37,859 --> 00:10:38,643
Emma?
276
00:10:40,797 --> 00:10:41,879
Zeb?
277
00:10:42,529 --> 00:10:45,797
[air bubbling]
278
00:10:47,554 --> 00:10:48,419
Good morning, Clark.
279
00:10:50,957 --> 00:10:53,124
Good morning, Clark.
280
00:10:57,964 --> 00:10:59,597
I suppose you're all ignoring me
281
00:10:59,599 --> 00:11:01,466
because of what happened last night?
282
00:11:01,468 --> 00:11:03,167
So I told some jokes,
283
00:11:03,169 --> 00:11:05,103
some of which may have gone too far,
284
00:11:05,105 --> 00:11:07,184
but I didn't mean to
hurt anyone's feelings.
285
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:07,872
MASON: No,
286
00:11:07,874 --> 00:11:09,607
you just got uncomfortable
making an emotional speech
287
00:11:09,609 --> 00:11:11,175
and started putting down Paul.
288
00:11:11,177 --> 00:11:13,111
In fact, if I didn't know any better,
289
00:11:13,113 --> 00:11:15,380
I'd say there's something
about Paul that threatens you.
290
00:11:15,382 --> 00:11:18,349
And when Jack feels threatened
or cornered, he attacks.
291
00:11:18,351 --> 00:11:19,684
Jack's an emotional otter.
292
00:11:19,686 --> 00:11:21,653
- Ooh...
- Ooh...
293
00:11:21,655 --> 00:11:23,254
Don't "ooh" like that's a thing.
294
00:11:23,256 --> 00:11:24,422
That's not a thing.
295
00:11:24,424 --> 00:11:26,024
Oh, look, he's threatened right now.
296
00:11:26,026 --> 00:11:27,692
- He's ottering.
- Ottering! Ottering!
297
00:11:27,694 --> 00:11:30,061
- He's ottering!
- Ottering is not a thing, all right?
298
00:11:30,063 --> 00:11:32,897
And why would I be
threatened by Jam Master Paul?
299
00:11:32,899 --> 00:11:34,932
I mean, everyone else
is too thin-skinned.
300
00:11:34,934 --> 00:11:38,503
I mean, I wouldn't be upset
if someone tried to mock my...
301
00:11:38,669 --> 00:11:39,554
hmm.
302
00:11:40,106 --> 00:11:42,578
I can't think of anything
about me that's mock-able.
303
00:11:43,276 --> 00:11:44,709
How about how you only use small mugs
304
00:11:44,711 --> 00:11:45,910
so your hands look bigger?
305
00:11:45,912 --> 00:11:48,279
Or how you look like a
stretched out David Spade?
306
00:11:48,281 --> 00:11:49,747
And how you take beard vitamins?
307
00:11:49,749 --> 00:11:51,049
And how you think
that Dave Matthews Band
308
00:11:51,051 --> 00:11:52,417
is better than the Beatles?
309
00:11:52,419 --> 00:11:54,819
Whatever. Clark, you
want to get in on this?
310
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:55,405
No.
311
00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:56,788
Come on, they're just
jokes. They don't hurt.
312
00:11:56,790 --> 00:11:58,790
- I don't want to be mean.
- Burn me, Clark!
313
00:11:58,792 --> 00:12:00,925
You look like you were
built using irregular pieces
314
00:12:00,927 --> 00:12:04,595
from Dax Shepard and
Dirk Nowitzki. Oh, my...
315
00:12:07,355 --> 00:12:10,635
Well, you see that this
has proved my point:
316
00:12:10,637 --> 00:12:12,236
none of this affects me.
317
00:12:12,238 --> 00:12:15,073
And you're right, uh, if I
have hurt anyone's feelings,
318
00:12:15,075 --> 00:12:17,008
I will go apologize to Brooke.
319
00:12:17,292 --> 00:12:20,244
It's obvious you're losing
that battle against dad bod!
320
00:12:20,246 --> 00:12:21,579
[gasps]
321
00:12:21,581 --> 00:12:22,880
Dude, easy.
322
00:12:22,882 --> 00:12:25,116
Oh, you shut up, nerdy Urkel. [gasps]
323
00:12:27,486 --> 00:12:30,688
It's so intoxicating.
324
00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:33,475
[knocks]
325
00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:35,526
Brooke, uh,
326
00:12:35,528 --> 00:12:39,831
I had a good talk with the kids
from Stranger Things.
327
00:12:39,833 --> 00:12:42,567
And I want to apologize for last night.
328
00:12:42,569 --> 00:12:44,535
Yeah, well, you hurt Paul's feelings,
329
00:12:44,537 --> 00:12:47,423
you mocked our relationship,
and you ruined our party.
330
00:12:47,448 --> 00:12:48,072
[Jack chuckles]
331
00:12:48,074 --> 00:12:49,507
If you're gonna list
things out individually,
332
00:12:49,509 --> 00:12:50,985
we are gonna be here a long time.
333
00:12:52,065 --> 00:12:54,212
All I asked is for you to be nice.
334
00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:57,812
Is something bothering
you or are you just a jerk?
335
00:12:59,183 --> 00:13:00,883
Are those my only two options?
336
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:03,517
Well, then I guess I'm the jerk
337
00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:05,347
that got carried away at your party.
338
00:13:05,372 --> 00:13:07,043
But that's it. There's
nothing else going on.
339
00:13:07,068 --> 00:13:09,902
I mean, the point is, I'm really sorry.
340
00:13:10,397 --> 00:13:11,829
Okay, thank you.
341
00:13:12,276 --> 00:13:13,620
So, we're good, right?
342
00:13:13,645 --> 00:13:15,977
Well, we will be, once you
apologize to Paul, as well.
343
00:13:16,002 --> 00:13:17,802
[groans] I have to do this aga...
344
00:13:17,804 --> 00:13:19,904
You're right. I'm... I will.
345
00:13:22,065 --> 00:13:24,409
So, we finally figured
out the hierarchy.
346
00:13:24,411 --> 00:13:25,777
I'm in charge of Clark,
347
00:13:25,779 --> 00:13:27,645
Clark's in charge of Emma,
348
00:13:28,269 --> 00:13:29,847
Emma's in charge of me?
349
00:13:29,849 --> 00:13:33,206
The ol' rock-paper-scissors
management structure.
350
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,286
Unorthodox but effective.
351
00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:37,655
Yeah, this could be really cool.
352
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,090
Mason, get me a soda.
353
00:13:39,092 --> 00:13:40,491
Clark, get Emma a soda.
354
00:13:40,493 --> 00:13:42,126
Emma, get your own soda.
355
00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:46,531
Guys, I'm gonna go apologize to Paul.
356
00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:47,999
If I'm not back in an hour,
357
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,201
he's murdered me and jarred my remains.
358
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,136
[knocking at door]
359
00:13:58,472 --> 00:13:59,444
Hey, Jack.
360
00:13:59,446 --> 00:14:01,245
I assume you're gonna
make fun of my apron?
361
00:14:01,247 --> 00:14:02,230
No.
362
00:14:02,849 --> 00:14:05,082
No, you totally pull it off.
363
00:14:05,474 --> 00:14:07,174
Let me pull it off.
364
00:14:08,745 --> 00:14:12,423
Paul, uh, I got carried away
with the jokes at your party.
365
00:14:12,425 --> 00:14:14,158
[scoffs] I was totally fine.
366
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,562
Gotcha... I was so mad, I
was up all night capping jars.
367
00:14:18,347 --> 00:14:19,897
You still have preserves on your face.
368
00:14:19,899 --> 00:14:21,499
Really?
369
00:14:24,456 --> 00:14:27,839
I-I-I'm just sorry that
I hurt your feelings.
370
00:14:27,841 --> 00:14:31,009
Oh, thanks. Maybe I was
being overly sensitive.
371
00:14:31,034 --> 00:14:32,376
You know, but can you really blame me?
372
00:14:32,378 --> 00:14:34,078
Especially since, you know,
373
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,680
you and Brooke hooked up that one time.
374
00:14:35,682 --> 00:14:38,249
Yeah, anyone would feel threatened.
375
00:14:38,251 --> 00:14:40,667
Yeah, uh, but, uh,
then I thought about it,
376
00:14:40,692 --> 00:14:42,186
and, you know, you're
going through a lot.
377
00:14:42,188 --> 00:14:43,688
Dealing with that professional setback
378
00:14:43,690 --> 00:14:45,533
of being stuck in the office now,
379
00:14:45,558 --> 00:14:47,001
living with a roommate above a bar...
380
00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:49,527
Okay, let's go back to you
feeling threatened by me,
381
00:14:49,529 --> 00:14:50,661
because that's the real point.
382
00:14:50,663 --> 00:14:51,829
No, no, no, no.
383
00:14:51,831 --> 00:14:53,598
I realized I'm fine. I mean,
384
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,292
I've got a ton of friends
who all beg me to do stand-up.
385
00:15:00,362 --> 00:15:02,673
I've got an enormously
profitable preserves business.
386
00:15:02,675 --> 00:15:04,008
You're rich from this stuff?
387
00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:06,110
[chuckling]: Oh, very. Yeah.
388
00:15:06,112 --> 00:15:09,180
Yeah, and best of all,
I've got a great fianc?e,
389
00:15:09,182 --> 00:15:10,648
and really, you know,
that's what counts the most
390
00:15:10,650 --> 00:15:12,717
for a hilarious dude in his early 30s.
391
00:15:12,719 --> 00:15:14,452
Early 30s?
392
00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:16,787
Still, thank you.
393
00:15:16,789 --> 00:15:18,389
It takes a big man to apologize.
394
00:15:18,391 --> 00:15:21,392
Oh, no, no. You are a
much bigger man than me.
395
00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:23,427
- No.
- I mean, I don't know what I would do
396
00:15:23,429 --> 00:15:25,963
if my fianc?e called in a former fling
397
00:15:25,988 --> 00:15:28,135
and worked in the same office every day.
398
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,166
I mean, life, right?
399
00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:30,701
[sighs]
400
00:15:30,703 --> 00:15:32,103
Huh.
401
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,605
Never thought about those
facts in that exact order.
402
00:15:35,254 --> 00:15:37,208
Well, you are one cool cat.
403
00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:38,576
Oh.
404
00:15:45,058 --> 00:15:46,817
I love apologizing.
405
00:15:46,819 --> 00:15:49,387
It makes me feel so much
better than everyone else.
406
00:15:49,389 --> 00:15:51,622
Then you're definitely
not doing it right.
407
00:15:51,624 --> 00:15:54,625
Jack Gordon, you absolute ass!
408
00:15:54,627 --> 00:15:55,652
See?
409
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:58,873
You hinted to Paul I brought
you back to work in the office
410
00:15:58,898 --> 00:16:00,131
for some kind of romantic reason?
411
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:02,409
In the form of an apology.
412
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:04,869
This is serious.
413
00:16:04,871 --> 00:16:07,772
He's called off our trip to New Orleans.
414
00:16:08,618 --> 00:16:10,518
Brooke, I...
415
00:16:11,113 --> 00:16:12,762
Oh, I need more time.
416
00:16:12,787 --> 00:16:15,354
I didn't think you were
gonna stop mid-storm-out.
417
00:16:17,255 --> 00:16:18,354
Brooke, please!
418
00:16:19,615 --> 00:16:21,081
I-I can't do it now.
419
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:22,706
It's too much pressure.
420
00:16:23,722 --> 00:16:24,626
Sorry.
421
00:16:26,889 --> 00:16:29,489
What's wrong with me?
422
00:16:33,332 --> 00:16:35,416
So you ruined Brooke and Paul's party,
423
00:16:35,441 --> 00:16:36,733
then caused a huge fight between them.
424
00:16:36,735 --> 00:16:40,299
Do you want bartender
advice or friend advice?
425
00:16:40,324 --> 00:16:41,456
Bartender advice.
426
00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:42,824
[in folksy accent]: Welp,
427
00:16:42,826 --> 00:16:46,094
I'm just a simple bartender,
428
00:16:46,096 --> 00:16:47,784
but it seems to me,
429
00:16:47,809 --> 00:16:50,376
there might be something
else going on here.
430
00:16:51,039 --> 00:16:53,506
Mm-hmm. Let's go with friend advice.
431
00:16:53,531 --> 00:16:55,164
Ow!
432
00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:56,555
You're still hung up on Brooke.
433
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,613
I want to talk to the bartender again.
434
00:16:58,875 --> 00:17:00,269
He's on break.
435
00:17:00,294 --> 00:17:03,228
Look, I'm not hung up
on Brooke. I mean it.
436
00:17:03,530 --> 00:17:05,357
I mean, how could I
be if I work with her
437
00:17:05,382 --> 00:17:06,481
every single day?
438
00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:07,698
Then what's the difference this time?
439
00:17:07,723 --> 00:17:09,289
I don't know. Fianc?'s around?
440
00:17:09,456 --> 00:17:11,339
What, are you in love with Paul?
441
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:13,730
Here's what I think it is...
442
00:17:13,857 --> 00:17:16,124
I mean, meeting Paul,
seeing them together,
443
00:17:16,126 --> 00:17:17,613
all that stuff in Roland's speech
444
00:17:17,638 --> 00:17:20,722
freaked me out and made me think
that maybe that's what I want.
445
00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:22,046
[in Irish brogue]: Well, who doesn't?
446
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,942
But you need to make things right.
447
00:17:24,101 --> 00:17:25,734
[in Jamaican accent]: We all think so.
448
00:17:25,736 --> 00:17:27,378
What-what are you, Irish or Jamaican?
449
00:17:27,403 --> 00:17:29,169
Who am I talking to?
450
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:34,581
Guys, I need your help.
451
00:17:34,606 --> 00:17:35,605
Clark, Jack needs your help.
452
00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:36,613
Emma, Jack needs your help.
453
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,505
Mason, where's my damn soda?
454
00:17:40,444 --> 00:17:42,671
Hey, you guys aren't
still trying to figure out
455
00:17:42,696 --> 00:17:43,936
who's in charge, are you?
456
00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:45,397
- [All]: Yes.
- It's me.
457
00:17:45,422 --> 00:17:48,690
There, I helped you,
now you need to help me.
458
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:51,092
I need to make a big
gesture to Paul and Brooke.
459
00:17:51,094 --> 00:17:52,293
No bad ideas.
460
00:17:52,295 --> 00:17:54,162
How about a re-apology party?
461
00:17:54,164 --> 00:17:56,397
Starting... That sucked... now.
462
00:18:00,203 --> 00:18:02,045
Look, Jack, even if you wanted
463
00:18:02,070 --> 00:18:04,116
to talk to both of us, there
is nothing you could say
464
00:18:04,141 --> 00:18:06,908
- to get Paul to come back here.
- [elevator bell dings]
465
00:18:06,910 --> 00:18:08,977
All right, Jack, where is this
466
00:18:08,979 --> 00:18:11,679
"private stash of rare loganberries"?
467
00:18:11,681 --> 00:18:12,777
Paul,
468
00:18:13,809 --> 00:18:16,577
there are no loganberries.
Just an apology.
469
00:18:16,602 --> 00:18:17,968
Now,
470
00:18:17,993 --> 00:18:19,664
I know I tease a lot of people,
471
00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:22,132
and usually we all get
a big kick out of it.
472
00:18:22,159 --> 00:18:23,486
- No, we don't.
- Sure we do,
473
00:18:23,511 --> 00:18:24,810
but I overstepped with you.
474
00:18:24,961 --> 00:18:27,295
I saw a happy couple and I lashed out.
475
00:18:27,297 --> 00:18:29,764
And even though my insults
were, top to bottom,
476
00:18:29,766 --> 00:18:32,298
undeniably hilarious,
477
00:18:32,323 --> 00:18:34,323
they were also hurtful.
478
00:18:34,348 --> 00:18:36,515
And for that I apologize.
479
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,744
Thank you, Jack.
480
00:18:39,543 --> 00:18:41,251
So, just to clarify, um...
481
00:18:41,311 --> 00:18:42,710
there are no loganberries?
482
00:18:42,712 --> 00:18:44,392
No, but
483
00:18:44,417 --> 00:18:45,716
because I ruined your trip,
484
00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:47,994
I had the kids put together
a little surprise for you.
485
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:49,637
Really? What is it?
486
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,662
The curiosity might kill me.
487
00:18:53,197 --> 00:18:55,490
Since you didn't go to New Orleans,
488
00:18:55,492 --> 00:18:57,859
we brought a little
bit of New Orleans...
489
00:18:57,861 --> 00:18:58,693
to you!
490
00:18:58,695 --> 00:19:00,061
[Cajun music playing]
491
00:19:00,063 --> 00:19:01,229
JACK: Oh, my God.
492
00:19:01,231 --> 00:19:02,330
Nope.
493
00:19:02,332 --> 00:19:03,698
[music stops]
494
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:04,833
Was that a Christmas tree?
495
00:19:04,835 --> 00:19:06,067
Probably. Anyway,
496
00:19:06,069 --> 00:19:08,517
uh, I thought something
like this might happen.
497
00:19:08,542 --> 00:19:10,238
My friend, Connor, is a pilot.
498
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,806
He is waiting at
O'Hare's private airfield
499
00:19:11,808 --> 00:19:13,341
to take you to New Orleans tonight.
500
00:19:13,343 --> 00:19:14,676
Wha...?
501
00:19:14,678 --> 00:19:16,411
Here are the security passes
to get you on the tarmac.
502
00:19:16,413 --> 00:19:19,681
[laughs] Oh, thank you.
503
00:19:20,023 --> 00:19:21,789
That is really thoughtful, Jack.
504
00:19:21,814 --> 00:19:23,151
[chuckles]
505
00:19:23,153 --> 00:19:25,787
Yeah, well, I still think
you're an arrogant jerk.
506
00:19:27,017 --> 00:19:28,556
Gotcha. You won me over!
507
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,391
[Brooke laughs]
508
00:19:30,479 --> 00:19:32,313
Oh. [chuckles]
509
00:19:32,975 --> 00:19:35,809
You guys give me beads, I'll show 'em.
510
00:19:36,933 --> 00:19:37,999
Esther, we're not doing that
511
00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:40,134
- fake New Orleans thing anymore.
- I know.
512
00:19:40,184 --> 00:19:44,734
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