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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,039 --> 00:00:02,248 ADULT ADAM: The '80s was a golden age of advertising, 2 00:00:02,273 --> 00:00:04,273 - filled with famous faces. - Oh, hi, Vern. 3 00:00:04,319 --> 00:00:06,530 They talked fast and pitched to us every day. 4 00:00:06,609 --> 00:00:08,367 Hello. I'm Orville Redenbacher. 5 00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:10,208 - Mikey liked it! - He liked it! 6 00:00:10,286 --> 00:00:11,739 And the "Where's the Beef?" lady 7 00:00:11,775 --> 00:00:13,681 needed to know exactly where the beef was. 8 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,040 Hey, where's the beef? 9 00:00:15,079 --> 00:00:17,243 And there were local pitchmen, like Crazy Eddie. 10 00:00:17,322 --> 00:00:19,189 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest Fourth of July sale ever! 11 00:00:19,224 --> 00:00:21,658 Even Jenkintown had its own commercial celebrity... 12 00:00:21,693 --> 00:00:23,860 my dad's competition, the Formica King. 13 00:00:23,895 --> 00:00:25,662 Are you looking for a bed, 14 00:00:25,697 --> 00:00:27,297 a table, a wall unit?! 15 00:00:27,332 --> 00:00:28,704 ADULT ADAM: He was wild, kooky, 16 00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:30,333 and the bane of my dad's existence. 17 00:00:30,369 --> 00:00:34,104 Come see me, Formica Mike, the Formica King! 18 00:00:34,139 --> 00:00:36,006 We got deep discounts on all your favorite 19 00:00:36,041 --> 00:00:39,109 brightly-colored furniture in space-age laminates! 20 00:00:39,144 --> 00:00:41,745 And we're slaying the competition! 21 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,948 ? Furniture deals on everything ? 22 00:00:44,983 --> 00:00:47,984 ? Come on down to the Formica King ? 23 00:00:48,020 --> 00:00:50,720 Ask for me! Mike! Or Luis. 24 00:00:50,756 --> 00:00:52,022 He works here, too! 25 00:00:52,057 --> 00:00:54,078 ANNOUNCER: The Formica King's an authorized Formica laminate dealer. 26 00:00:54,148 --> 00:00:56,693 ? Do-do, do-do-do, do-do, do... ? 27 00:00:56,728 --> 00:00:58,795 Are you humming the jingle of my sworn enemy? 28 00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:01,064 No. Totally unrelated. 29 00:01:01,099 --> 00:01:02,399 ? Formica King ? 30 00:01:02,434 --> 00:01:05,035 All right, that's it. I'm sleeping on the couch. 31 00:01:05,070 --> 00:01:06,670 ADULT ADAM: My dad hated the Formica King 32 00:01:06,705 --> 00:01:08,071 and couldn't get away from him. 33 00:01:08,106 --> 00:01:11,007 Look! The Formica King has a regal summer sale! 34 00:01:11,043 --> 00:01:13,243 Big kingdom furniture for lil' kingdom prices. 35 00:01:13,278 --> 00:01:15,578 - [GROANS] - Murray, you gotta hit this schmuck back 36 00:01:15,614 --> 00:01:17,414 before he drives us out of business. 37 00:01:17,449 --> 00:01:18,615 Dammit, I know! 38 00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,150 My dad had to make his own commercial, 39 00:01:20,185 --> 00:01:21,818 and there was only one geek who could save him. 40 00:01:21,853 --> 00:01:25,188 I never thought I'd say this, but bring me Adam. 41 00:01:25,223 --> 00:01:27,257 I've been waiting for this moment my entire life. 42 00:01:27,292 --> 00:01:29,392 I know your taste. It'll be quick and simple. 43 00:01:29,428 --> 00:01:30,593 Also, you'll be sitting. 44 00:01:30,629 --> 00:01:32,295 Oh, I like this idea. 45 00:01:32,330 --> 00:01:34,631 Or... and I'm just talking out loud here... 46 00:01:34,666 --> 00:01:38,368 what if instead of simple, we made it incredibly complicated? 47 00:01:38,403 --> 00:01:39,903 - Ooh, I'm listening. - No, no. 48 00:01:39,938 --> 00:01:41,404 Do not encourage him. 49 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,040 Yep, my dad's brother and unreliable employee Marvin. 50 00:01:44,076 --> 00:01:45,208 Let the selling begin! 51 00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:46,543 He was full of bad ideas, 52 00:01:46,578 --> 00:01:48,678 and my dad hated all of them. 53 00:01:48,714 --> 00:01:50,246 We have an opportunity here to make the biggest, 54 00:01:50,282 --> 00:01:52,649 most expensive furniture commercial ever, okay? 55 00:01:52,684 --> 00:01:55,952 I'm talking about explosions, car chases, furniture girls. 56 00:01:55,987 --> 00:01:58,121 There's no such thing as furniture girls. 57 00:01:58,190 --> 00:02:00,123 Uncle Marvin's right. We should probably go big. 58 00:02:00,158 --> 00:02:01,424 - So big! - And loud! 59 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:02,959 - And sexy! - Go away! 60 00:02:02,994 --> 00:02:04,494 Ooh! We can set it in space! 61 00:02:04,529 --> 00:02:06,296 - ? Spaaaace ? - No space! 62 00:02:06,331 --> 00:02:07,797 And animals. We need animals. 63 00:02:07,833 --> 00:02:08,798 The deadlier the better. 64 00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:10,100 Yes, people respond to fear. 65 00:02:10,135 --> 00:02:11,668 Not furniture buyers. 66 00:02:11,703 --> 00:02:13,002 And we need epic stunts. 67 00:02:13,038 --> 00:02:15,138 How many sleeper sofas can you jump in a monster truck? 68 00:02:15,173 --> 00:02:17,207 Well, if we load it up with rocket fuel, an infinite amount! 69 00:02:17,242 --> 00:02:19,075 When you're done, we'll do it my way. 70 00:02:19,111 --> 00:02:20,477 Knock yourselves out. 71 00:02:20,512 --> 00:02:22,178 [GASPS] That's it. 72 00:02:22,214 --> 00:02:23,146 We wrap the whole thing up 73 00:02:23,181 --> 00:02:24,948 with a Rocky Balboa/ Apollo Creed 74 00:02:24,983 --> 00:02:26,716 - final freeze frame. - Let's rehearse it. 75 00:02:26,752 --> 00:02:28,685 [IMITATING SYLVESTER STALLONE] Well, I don't usually rehearse, but okay. 76 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:29,886 [SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY] 77 00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:31,554 ? I'm twisted up inside ? 78 00:02:31,590 --> 00:02:34,958 ? But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ? 79 00:02:34,993 --> 00:02:37,427 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 80 00:02:37,462 --> 00:02:38,795 ? I don't know the future ? 81 00:02:38,830 --> 00:02:42,966 ? But the past keeps getting clearer every day ? 82 00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:45,068 It was November 1, 1980-something, 83 00:02:45,103 --> 00:02:47,370 and my brother was about to bust some moves. 84 00:02:47,405 --> 00:02:49,005 - Yo, yo! - Look at this. 85 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,708 The KFC has come to hang out under the bleachers. 86 00:02:51,743 --> 00:02:53,743 - No, it's the JTP. - TOGETHER: JTP! 87 00:02:53,779 --> 00:02:55,745 And it's your lucky day, 'cause Big Tasty 88 00:02:55,781 --> 00:02:57,413 cordially invites you to have dinner with him 89 00:02:57,449 --> 00:02:59,849 at Jenkintown's most exclusive, romantic eatery. 90 00:02:59,885 --> 00:03:02,051 Tony Roma's! Place for ribs! 91 00:03:02,087 --> 00:03:03,453 All right, bleacher creatures. 92 00:03:03,488 --> 00:03:05,555 Stop being all sketchy and get to class. 93 00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:06,923 Nice try, dude. 94 00:03:06,958 --> 00:03:08,158 Mr. Glascott, 95 00:03:08,193 --> 00:03:10,794 I was about to go out with Jamie Weisman for ribs. 96 00:03:10,829 --> 00:03:13,163 Everyone knows that's the most romantic part of the pig. 97 00:03:13,198 --> 00:03:14,264 Except for the heart. 98 00:03:14,299 --> 00:03:15,532 Actually, I saved you. 99 00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:17,767 Seriously, man, you were going down in flames. 100 00:03:17,803 --> 00:03:19,202 Trust me, I know. 101 00:03:19,237 --> 00:03:20,270 You do know. 102 00:03:20,305 --> 00:03:22,505 Hey, it's different when I say it. 103 00:03:22,541 --> 00:03:25,775 Gah! That's the third girl this week who shot me down. 104 00:03:25,811 --> 00:03:27,277 Don't these smoking hot scrubs 105 00:03:27,312 --> 00:03:28,812 know I dated Lainey for three years? 106 00:03:28,847 --> 00:03:30,079 Don't ask me, dude. 107 00:03:30,115 --> 00:03:31,714 I haven't talked to a girl since my piano teacher 108 00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,183 told me to stop calling her. 109 00:03:33,218 --> 00:03:35,084 It's like the only people who see me naked now are you guys. 110 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,719 I used to have great luck with women, 111 00:03:36,755 --> 00:03:38,621 but it all dried up when I started hanging out with you dudes. 112 00:03:38,657 --> 00:03:40,156 Coincidence, Matthew. 113 00:03:40,192 --> 00:03:41,624 Man, I do not miss being single. 114 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:43,393 I'm just so happy I have Erica, ya know? 115 00:03:43,428 --> 00:03:44,994 - You're so lame, Geoff. - We don't have to hear it. 116 00:03:45,030 --> 00:03:46,429 Wait, that's it! 117 00:03:46,464 --> 00:03:48,731 It's been in this house the whole time! 118 00:03:48,767 --> 00:03:50,800 Erica's bedroom. 119 00:03:50,836 --> 00:03:52,869 There has to be some answers in here. 120 00:03:52,904 --> 00:03:53,937 Okay, guys, this is, like, 121 00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,505 a huge invasion of Erica's privacy. 122 00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:57,073 Dude, she's my sister. 123 00:03:57,108 --> 00:03:58,508 I know her better than anyone. 124 00:03:58,543 --> 00:04:00,343 She'd do anything to help us out here. 125 00:04:00,378 --> 00:04:01,882 Erica's very upset and wants to talk to you. 126 00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:02,813 Really, dude? 127 00:04:02,814 --> 00:04:04,781 I know you're her brother, but she's really pretty. 128 00:04:04,816 --> 00:04:07,517 - [SIGHS] - Barry. I will say this once. 129 00:04:07,552 --> 00:04:10,320 Leave my room, or I will end you. 130 00:04:10,355 --> 00:04:12,121 Aww. You are so sweet. 131 00:04:12,157 --> 00:04:14,123 Guys! She said, "Go for it." 132 00:04:14,159 --> 00:04:15,225 We're good to go. 133 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:16,960 Put Geoff back on the phone right now! 134 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,761 Yo, Geoff, she says she loves you, 135 00:04:18,797 --> 00:04:20,096 and you're, like, totally the one. 136 00:04:20,131 --> 00:04:21,664 I've been waiting for this moment! 137 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:23,233 If you don't get out right now, 138 00:04:23,268 --> 00:04:25,668 so help me God, I will get on a bus and... 139 00:04:25,704 --> 00:04:27,170 No, you're the best. 140 00:04:27,205 --> 00:04:28,304 Geoffrey, tackle Barry! 141 00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:30,273 - Love you. - Punch him in the nards! 142 00:04:30,308 --> 00:04:31,908 We officially have Erica's blessing. 143 00:04:31,943 --> 00:04:33,142 Let's do this! 144 00:04:33,178 --> 00:04:35,245 Naked Rob, you and I shall play the board game 145 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:36,946 where you literally become a woman... 146 00:04:36,982 --> 00:04:38,081 "Girl Talk." 147 00:04:38,116 --> 00:04:40,083 Matthew, you take this Caboodle 148 00:04:40,118 --> 00:04:41,584 and make friendship bracelets for all. 149 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,586 One of you lucky bros is gonna get an anklet. 150 00:04:43,622 --> 00:04:45,455 Andy, you read these Judy Blume books. 151 00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:47,323 Soak up all the teenage lady writing 152 00:04:47,359 --> 00:04:49,025 and see if God ever responds to Margaret. 153 00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:50,126 I hope it's a yes. 154 00:04:50,161 --> 00:04:52,295 Geoff Schwartz, you take Erica's diary 155 00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:54,264 and read her inner-most secret girl thoughts. 156 00:04:54,299 --> 00:04:55,999 She's never let me read it before! 157 00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,233 She finally trusts me! 158 00:04:57,269 --> 00:05:00,637 Gentlemen, our world changes today. 159 00:05:00,672 --> 00:05:02,572 Let's get feminine. 160 00:05:02,607 --> 00:05:05,541 ? 161 00:05:05,577 --> 00:05:08,544 Okay, our big commercial's all done. 162 00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:11,381 Yep. There's no story, there's no effects, 163 00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:13,449 there's no artistic expression whatsoever. 164 00:05:13,485 --> 00:05:15,351 I've never been more proud of the kid in my life! 165 00:05:15,387 --> 00:05:18,655 Are you looking for high-quality furniture 166 00:05:18,690 --> 00:05:20,456 at low prices? 167 00:05:20,492 --> 00:05:22,425 Come on down to the Ottoman Empire... 168 00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:25,828 Huh! Where I will personally fight high prices. 169 00:05:25,864 --> 00:05:27,964 I am the Sofa Samurai, 170 00:05:27,999 --> 00:05:31,134 and I will erase the bloodlines of the competition! 171 00:05:31,169 --> 00:05:33,169 - [GRUNTS] - What the hell was that? 172 00:05:33,204 --> 00:05:35,738 Don't ask me! Marvin taped over my commercial! 173 00:05:35,774 --> 00:05:37,540 ADULT ADAM: And that's when things got weird. 174 00:05:37,575 --> 00:05:39,776 My Uncle Marvin hijacked the commercial. 175 00:05:39,811 --> 00:05:41,544 - He was a space man... - [LASER BLASTS] 176 00:05:41,579 --> 00:05:42,545 ...who was a lifeguard... 177 00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:44,213 No credit? No problem! 178 00:05:44,249 --> 00:05:45,248 I'll save you! 179 00:05:45,283 --> 00:05:46,749 ADULT ADAM: ...who had a cyborg arm. 180 00:05:46,785 --> 00:05:48,351 And I've been rebuilt by the government 181 00:05:48,386 --> 00:05:49,719 to fight crime and high prices. 182 00:05:49,754 --> 00:05:50,920 ADULT ADAM: It was a disaster. 183 00:05:50,956 --> 00:05:53,056 So, come on down to the Ottoman Empire. 184 00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:54,390 And bring the kids. 185 00:05:54,426 --> 00:05:57,026 They can swing my sword around and chop up stuff. 186 00:05:57,062 --> 00:05:58,361 Ding! Freeze, freeze. 187 00:05:58,396 --> 00:06:00,730 ? 188 00:06:00,765 --> 00:06:01,864 ADULT ADAM: It was classic Marvin, 189 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,533 and my dad had seen enough. 190 00:06:03,568 --> 00:06:04,634 How do you do it, Marvin? 191 00:06:04,669 --> 00:06:06,970 How do you literally screw up everything? 192 00:06:07,005 --> 00:06:08,004 What?! 193 00:06:08,039 --> 00:06:09,939 If anything, I spiced it up with swords 194 00:06:09,975 --> 00:06:11,674 and time travel and furniture girls. 195 00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:12,909 What's their story? 196 00:06:12,944 --> 00:06:14,644 Tiffany and Megan. They're actually good people. 197 00:06:14,679 --> 00:06:16,279 I hope you don't mind. I had to pay them in chairs. 198 00:06:16,314 --> 00:06:17,246 I do mind! 199 00:06:17,282 --> 00:06:18,681 You can't just give away our furniture 200 00:06:18,717 --> 00:06:20,550 and promise that kids can play with swords! 201 00:06:20,585 --> 00:06:22,018 This is insane! 202 00:06:22,053 --> 00:06:23,786 I'm not airing this stupidity. Ever. 203 00:06:23,822 --> 00:06:25,288 Oooooooooh. 204 00:06:25,323 --> 00:06:27,156 "Ooh"? What do you... What do you mean, "ooh"? 205 00:06:27,192 --> 00:06:28,791 What if I told you there was a world 206 00:06:28,827 --> 00:06:31,194 where people will see it or have absolutely seen it? 207 00:06:31,229 --> 00:06:32,428 - Which is it? - Both. 208 00:06:32,464 --> 00:06:34,330 I knew that you wouldn't understand my vision, Mur, 209 00:06:34,366 --> 00:06:35,665 so I had to go "behind your back," 210 00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:37,433 and I handed it off to the local affiliates. 211 00:06:37,469 --> 00:06:38,901 Wait. This already aired?! 212 00:06:38,937 --> 00:06:41,771 Okay, calm down. The man means well. 213 00:06:41,806 --> 00:06:43,272 You realize that's the worst thing 214 00:06:43,308 --> 00:06:44,440 you can say about a person. 215 00:06:44,476 --> 00:06:46,843 How is it bad if a man means well? 216 00:06:46,878 --> 00:06:48,644 Because it means he doesn't do well. 217 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,747 He's too busy being a moron. 218 00:06:50,782 --> 00:06:52,048 That's it! 219 00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:54,350 I refuse to work for someone who thinks so little of me! 220 00:06:54,386 --> 00:06:55,785 Great. Then don't come in tomorrow. 221 00:06:55,820 --> 00:06:57,487 - Are you firing me? - No, you just quit. 222 00:06:57,522 --> 00:06:59,255 Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm just refusing to work. 223 00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:01,157 - That is quitting. - Which I didn't do! 224 00:07:01,192 --> 00:07:02,358 Then fine. You're fired. 225 00:07:02,394 --> 00:07:03,760 No, no, you can't fire me. I already quit. 226 00:07:03,795 --> 00:07:04,994 Too late. I fired you first. 227 00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:06,462 Okay, so rehire me so I can quit. 228 00:07:06,498 --> 00:07:07,730 You're rehired. Go ahead and quit. 229 00:07:07,766 --> 00:07:09,065 - I'm staying. - Then you're fired. 230 00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:10,433 You would fire your own brother? 231 00:07:10,468 --> 00:07:11,501 I quit! 232 00:07:11,536 --> 00:07:13,436 - He means well. - [GROANS] 233 00:07:13,471 --> 00:07:14,771 As my uncle was quitting, 234 00:07:14,806 --> 00:07:16,973 Barry and his pals were ready to give up on girls. 235 00:07:17,008 --> 00:07:18,374 Dude, "Girl Talk" sucks. 236 00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:19,709 The only thing I've gotten from this game 237 00:07:19,744 --> 00:07:20,977 is a bunch of zit stickers. 238 00:07:21,012 --> 00:07:23,079 And I admitted I had a crush on the hunky quarterback, 239 00:07:23,114 --> 00:07:24,547 and he's so not my type. 240 00:07:24,582 --> 00:07:26,449 You need a guy who makes you laugh, man. 241 00:07:26,484 --> 00:07:28,751 Andy? You have better luck with that Judy Blume book? 242 00:07:28,787 --> 00:07:31,220 You have no idea what women go through each month. 243 00:07:31,256 --> 00:07:32,655 I mean, it's crazy. 244 00:07:32,690 --> 00:07:34,724 It still won't help us get dates, but... 245 00:07:34,759 --> 00:07:35,858 it's crazy. 246 00:07:35,894 --> 00:07:37,427 Maybe the ol' Bevernator can help you 247 00:07:37,462 --> 00:07:38,661 with your lady troubles. 248 00:07:38,696 --> 00:07:40,830 Mom! Stop invading our privacy 249 00:07:40,865 --> 00:07:42,865 while we're invading Erica's privacy! 250 00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:44,734 Maybe this is a chance for our relationship 251 00:07:44,769 --> 00:07:46,836 - to change for the better. - It can't change. 252 00:07:46,871 --> 00:07:48,704 Once you're a lame mom, you're always a lame mom. 253 00:07:48,740 --> 00:07:50,373 Well, once you graduate from high school, 254 00:07:50,408 --> 00:07:51,874 you're not gonna need a mom anymore. 255 00:07:51,910 --> 00:07:54,043 You're gonna need a friend who knows things. 256 00:07:54,079 --> 00:07:55,678 I want to be that friend. 257 00:07:55,713 --> 00:07:56,913 Your lady bro. 258 00:07:56,948 --> 00:07:58,981 Dude, a lady bro is exactly what we need. 259 00:07:59,017 --> 00:08:00,583 No. Last thing we need is for you 260 00:08:00,618 --> 00:08:02,919 to mom us up with corny mom advice. 261 00:08:02,954 --> 00:08:04,587 That is quite possibly the most hurtful thing 262 00:08:04,622 --> 00:08:05,588 you've ever said to me. 263 00:08:05,623 --> 00:08:07,290 I am so much more than just a mom. 264 00:08:07,325 --> 00:08:08,558 Now eat your prunes 265 00:08:08,593 --> 00:08:10,126 so you can get your tummy engine cookin'. 266 00:08:10,161 --> 00:08:11,094 No prunes! 267 00:08:11,129 --> 00:08:12,895 They're just so... wet. 268 00:08:12,931 --> 00:08:14,197 It's been four days, Barry. 269 00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,364 You need to make. 270 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:16,466 Mom. I'm fine. 271 00:08:16,501 --> 00:08:18,267 You know, Essie Karp's nephew's son 272 00:08:18,303 --> 00:08:19,335 held it in for that long, 273 00:08:19,370 --> 00:08:21,304 and then he got on a ferry to Nantucket... 274 00:08:21,339 --> 00:08:23,106 I don't wanna hear this stupid mom story. 275 00:08:23,141 --> 00:08:25,608 They had to turn the boat around, Barry. 276 00:08:25,643 --> 00:08:27,677 I don't care about Essie's nephew's son! 277 00:08:27,712 --> 00:08:30,613 - A Coast Guard chopper was involved. - Mom. 278 00:08:30,648 --> 00:08:33,116 - People were jumping into the ocean. - Mom! 279 00:08:33,151 --> 00:08:35,084 They had to decommission the boat. 280 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,653 - Mom!! - Because he didn't eat his prunes. 281 00:08:37,689 --> 00:08:38,921 I think you've proven my point. 282 00:08:38,957 --> 00:08:40,123 Well, suit yourself. 283 00:08:40,158 --> 00:08:42,692 But just know that the most attractive trait in a man 284 00:08:42,727 --> 00:08:44,794 is when he makes on schedule. 285 00:08:44,829 --> 00:08:46,762 No, Naked Rob! Drop the prunes! 286 00:08:46,798 --> 00:08:48,598 Oh, sorry, dude. I need these prunes, 287 00:08:48,633 --> 00:08:50,800 and I need a lady bro to help me get a lady, bro. 288 00:08:50,835 --> 00:08:53,836 My mother is not the answer, Naked Rob. 289 00:08:53,872 --> 00:08:55,972 Okay, see, that's the problem right there. 290 00:08:56,007 --> 00:08:57,840 This whole naked thing, Robert. 291 00:08:57,876 --> 00:08:59,575 Girls don't like it when you run up to them 292 00:08:59,611 --> 00:09:00,643 with no pants on. 293 00:09:00,678 --> 00:09:01,944 Don't listen to her! 294 00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:04,247 Your nudity is your most redeeming quality. 295 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,648 So you're saying if I get dressed in the morning 296 00:09:05,683 --> 00:09:06,816 and stay that way all day, 297 00:09:06,851 --> 00:09:08,618 then women will be less revolted by me? 298 00:09:08,653 --> 00:09:10,887 I'm not just saying it. I know it. 299 00:09:10,922 --> 00:09:13,723 Fine! But I guarantee this will not work. 300 00:09:13,758 --> 00:09:15,858 ? 301 00:09:15,894 --> 00:09:17,527 Dude. I can't believe it. 302 00:09:17,562 --> 00:09:19,128 My mom actually helped the guy. 303 00:09:19,164 --> 00:09:21,297 Um, could you tell your friends to go? 304 00:09:21,332 --> 00:09:23,866 No, Debbie! I'm watching and learning. 305 00:09:23,902 --> 00:09:25,635 Guys, please. This is a big moment for me. 306 00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:27,970 Do you guys actually think my mom isn't just a mom? 307 00:09:28,006 --> 00:09:29,005 Accept it, man. 308 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,873 She's the answer to all our problems. 309 00:09:31,976 --> 00:09:33,376 While Barry had to admit defeat, 310 00:09:33,411 --> 00:09:36,112 Uncle Marvin was ready to take a victory lap. 311 00:09:36,147 --> 00:09:37,180 What's going on? 312 00:09:37,215 --> 00:09:38,915 Why are you here? I thought you quit. 313 00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:41,083 [LAUGHS] Don't worry about me, Mur-Man. 314 00:09:41,119 --> 00:09:42,151 I'm just here to let you know 315 00:09:42,187 --> 00:09:43,853 that I landed a sweet new job. 316 00:09:43,888 --> 00:09:44,820 Oh, did you, now? 317 00:09:44,856 --> 00:09:46,322 Oh, yes, I did. 318 00:09:46,357 --> 00:09:48,558 And I finally have a real boss... 319 00:09:48,593 --> 00:09:50,326 one that I can respect. 320 00:09:50,361 --> 00:09:53,763 [PLAYS FANFARE] 321 00:09:53,798 --> 00:09:54,764 Make way... 322 00:09:54,799 --> 00:09:57,433 ? For Formica Michael Mikowitz ? 323 00:09:57,468 --> 00:09:59,435 Well, well, well. 324 00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:01,037 What do we got here? 325 00:10:01,072 --> 00:10:03,973 A whole lot of crappy furniture with no one to buy it. 326 00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:05,341 So, you're working for this putz now? 327 00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:07,843 That's right. I just snaked your top salesman. 328 00:10:07,879 --> 00:10:09,478 - Must be killin' ya. - No, I'm good. 329 00:10:09,514 --> 00:10:10,613 No, but he's your brother, 330 00:10:10,648 --> 00:10:11,914 and now he's working for me... the enemy. 331 00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:13,015 Yeah, well, things happen. 332 00:10:13,051 --> 00:10:14,350 Wow. That's, uh... 333 00:10:14,385 --> 00:10:16,252 That's not the reaction I was expecting. 334 00:10:16,287 --> 00:10:17,253 [CHUCKLES] Look at him. 335 00:10:17,288 --> 00:10:18,788 It's eating him up inside. 336 00:10:18,823 --> 00:10:21,023 I don't know. He doesn't seem so put out by the whole thing. 337 00:10:21,059 --> 00:10:23,259 Nah, nah, nah, nah. You don't know him like I do. 338 00:10:23,294 --> 00:10:24,794 He is dying to take me back. 339 00:10:24,829 --> 00:10:26,362 Okay. I'll come back. 340 00:10:26,397 --> 00:10:28,431 Bup bup! Nope, you see the sign. 341 00:10:28,466 --> 00:10:30,967 Says "no refunds on damaged goods." 342 00:10:31,002 --> 00:10:32,368 Hoo-hoo! 343 00:10:32,403 --> 00:10:36,172 [LAUGHING] Oh, he's such a faker. 344 00:10:36,207 --> 00:10:38,207 This is gonna be great! 345 00:10:38,243 --> 00:10:40,343 I got concerns. 346 00:10:41,491 --> 00:10:43,943 It had been two days since my Uncle Marvin's crazy commercial 347 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,975 had aired, and when my dad arrived to work, 348 00:10:46,022 --> 00:10:47,992 he was surprised to find business was booming. 349 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,797 What's with all the people? 350 00:10:49,837 --> 00:10:51,604 It's Marvin's farkakte commercial. 351 00:10:51,647 --> 00:10:53,313 I think it actually worked! 352 00:10:53,349 --> 00:10:56,216 No way. No one's here to see a sweaty samurai. 353 00:10:56,252 --> 00:10:57,551 Hey, where's the Sofa Samurai? 354 00:10:57,586 --> 00:10:59,319 My kid wants to take a whack at this recliner 355 00:10:59,355 --> 00:11:00,354 with that katana. 356 00:11:00,389 --> 00:11:02,956 Unfortunately, the Samurai is sick. 357 00:11:02,992 --> 00:11:05,092 What? I drove two hours to get here. 358 00:11:05,127 --> 00:11:06,827 Uh, which is why... 359 00:11:06,862 --> 00:11:09,997 you're looking at the Mattress Magician! 360 00:11:10,032 --> 00:11:12,699 What's that behind your ear, huh? 361 00:11:12,768 --> 00:11:14,268 Don't touch my son. 362 00:11:14,303 --> 00:11:16,303 Uh... give us a second. 363 00:11:17,339 --> 00:11:19,072 You gotta get your brother back. 364 00:11:19,108 --> 00:11:20,040 We need him. 365 00:11:20,075 --> 00:11:21,642 You know, we're talking about Marvin. 366 00:11:21,677 --> 00:11:23,076 I've never once needed him. 367 00:11:23,112 --> 00:11:24,378 Until now. 368 00:11:24,413 --> 00:11:27,547 His terrible ideas, turns out, are great. 369 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:29,483 - [GROANS] - Fine. 370 00:11:29,518 --> 00:11:30,884 You don't want Marvin's help. 371 00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:32,552 I'll work on my magic. 372 00:11:32,588 --> 00:11:34,855 - Say, what's that behind your... - Aah! Stop it. 373 00:11:34,890 --> 00:11:36,256 I'll go talk to him. 374 00:11:36,292 --> 00:11:37,958 That day, my dad wasn't the only one 375 00:11:37,993 --> 00:11:40,160 who was asking for help from the least likely person. 376 00:11:40,195 --> 00:11:41,528 Double coupon? 377 00:11:41,563 --> 00:11:43,230 Don't mind if I do-pon. 378 00:11:43,265 --> 00:11:44,898 Yep, the unthinkable happened. 379 00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:47,234 Barry went to my mom for some girl talk. 380 00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:49,670 - Hey, Boofaloo. - [SIGHS] 381 00:11:49,705 --> 00:11:52,172 As much as it shocks me to say it, 382 00:11:52,207 --> 00:11:54,675 you're not just a big-haired, mom-shaped sweater lady. 383 00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:56,043 Hurtful, but continue. 384 00:11:56,078 --> 00:11:58,412 You helped Rob, which means you're not only a mom. 385 00:11:58,447 --> 00:11:59,713 You could actually be a lady bro 386 00:11:59,748 --> 00:12:00,847 and help me get girls. 387 00:12:00,883 --> 00:12:02,649 Shut your delicious little face! 388 00:12:02,685 --> 00:12:04,017 You asked for my help! 389 00:12:04,053 --> 00:12:05,485 - Forget it! Forget it. This is a mistake. - Wh... 390 00:12:05,521 --> 00:12:08,855 No, Barry, look into my eyes. 391 00:12:08,891 --> 00:12:10,590 I will take this more seriously 392 00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:13,327 than anything I've ever done in my life. 393 00:12:13,362 --> 00:12:15,996 I just wanted some advice on how to impress Jamie Weisman. 394 00:12:16,031 --> 00:12:17,898 I've already tried both aggressive rapping 395 00:12:17,966 --> 00:12:19,700 and casual flexing in a yellow tank top. 396 00:12:19,735 --> 00:12:21,134 Uh-huh. 397 00:12:21,170 --> 00:12:23,103 Have you considered something simpler? 398 00:12:23,138 --> 00:12:24,871 You mean like eating an entire apple in one bite? 399 00:12:24,907 --> 00:12:27,207 Or. What if you just talk to her? 400 00:12:27,242 --> 00:12:29,309 - Like with a bullhorn? - For now, just be yourself. 401 00:12:29,345 --> 00:12:31,011 That's all women really want. 402 00:12:31,046 --> 00:12:32,145 Sincerity. 403 00:12:32,181 --> 00:12:33,814 Be sincere. 404 00:12:33,849 --> 00:12:36,116 So I speak with a British accent and wear a monocle? 405 00:12:36,151 --> 00:12:37,951 We'll get you there. 406 00:12:37,986 --> 00:12:39,553 And she did. 407 00:12:39,588 --> 00:12:41,355 After a little training from his lady bro, 408 00:12:41,390 --> 00:12:43,957 Barry was ready to win over his lady. 409 00:12:43,992 --> 00:12:46,460 Whoa, whoa. What am I looking at here? 410 00:12:46,495 --> 00:12:47,961 Just a boy who took my advice 411 00:12:47,996 --> 00:12:50,597 and is now chatting to his future girlfriend. 412 00:12:50,632 --> 00:12:52,299 - Are you nuts? - What? What's wrong? 413 00:12:52,334 --> 00:12:55,068 Jamie Weisman hangs with the no-good bleacher creatures. 414 00:12:55,104 --> 00:12:57,003 They spend every lunch under there smoking 415 00:12:57,039 --> 00:12:59,106 and listening to that awful ska music. 416 00:12:59,141 --> 00:13:02,008 - And don't get me started on the truancy. - Truancy? 417 00:13:02,044 --> 00:13:04,511 Well, that's a gateway to being late for everything in life! 418 00:13:04,546 --> 00:13:07,314 And the worst part is, they're always sassing off at the mouth, 419 00:13:07,349 --> 00:13:09,383 saying things like "[Bleep] this school" 420 00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:11,017 and "[Bleep] Mr. Glascott." 421 00:13:11,053 --> 00:13:12,519 Kids can't speak that way. 422 00:13:12,554 --> 00:13:13,987 This is un-[Bleep]-believable. 423 00:13:14,022 --> 00:13:15,655 Barry will not be a part of that group. 424 00:13:15,691 --> 00:13:17,324 Now, there's the woman I know and fear. 425 00:13:17,359 --> 00:13:19,326 Now get in there and break up that boy's good time! 426 00:13:19,361 --> 00:13:20,694 Well, I just became his bro. 427 00:13:20,729 --> 00:13:22,462 I can't go back to being his mom. 428 00:13:22,498 --> 00:13:24,865 But you're the mommiest mom of all the mom I've ever met. 429 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:25,999 I don't know what to do! 430 00:13:26,034 --> 00:13:27,200 What you always do. 431 00:13:27,236 --> 00:13:28,335 Ruin things. 432 00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:29,936 Well, I'd love to, but I just can't get... 433 00:13:29,972 --> 00:13:31,338 Oh, hey. What's up, bro? 434 00:13:31,373 --> 00:13:32,572 Your advice totally worked! 435 00:13:32,608 --> 00:13:34,408 Jamie's coming over after school to study! 436 00:13:34,443 --> 00:13:37,677 Ohh. She's already coming over to study, huh? 437 00:13:37,713 --> 00:13:39,212 That worked better than I thought. 438 00:13:39,248 --> 00:13:40,714 I'm sorry I said you're just a mom. 439 00:13:40,749 --> 00:13:42,749 You made this happen. You. 440 00:13:42,785 --> 00:13:45,752 [LAUGHS] And I feel big feelings about it. 441 00:13:45,788 --> 00:13:47,320 I gotta go buy some Drakkar 442 00:13:47,356 --> 00:13:48,822 so I smell awesome when we study. 443 00:13:48,857 --> 00:13:49,856 [CHUCKLES] Bye. 444 00:13:49,892 --> 00:13:51,191 Drakkar?! 445 00:13:51,226 --> 00:13:53,927 That is the musk of Europeans on holiday! 446 00:13:53,962 --> 00:13:55,095 What have I done? 447 00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:56,496 The worst thing any mom could do. 448 00:13:56,532 --> 00:13:58,498 You became your son's bro. 449 00:13:58,534 --> 00:14:00,000 While my mom was realizing her mistake, 450 00:14:00,035 --> 00:14:02,736 my dad was gonna try to win back the Formica King's jester. 451 00:14:02,771 --> 00:14:05,439 - [BELLS JINGLING] - Hey, uh, Marvin. You got a sec? 452 00:14:05,474 --> 00:14:07,140 Uh, not for you. 453 00:14:07,176 --> 00:14:09,109 I'm in the middle of a top-secret project 454 00:14:09,144 --> 00:14:10,143 for Formica Mike. 455 00:14:10,179 --> 00:14:12,412 J-Just stop jingling and... 456 00:14:12,448 --> 00:14:14,147 You can come back to my store. 457 00:14:14,183 --> 00:14:15,382 I knew it! 458 00:14:15,417 --> 00:14:17,551 Sales have plunged since your top salesman left. 459 00:14:17,586 --> 00:14:19,386 Sure. If that's what you want to hear. 460 00:14:19,421 --> 00:14:20,954 Oh, I want a lot more than that. 461 00:14:20,989 --> 00:14:22,556 I shall return to your employ 462 00:14:22,591 --> 00:14:24,324 should you meet the following demands. 463 00:14:24,359 --> 00:14:25,559 Demand number one. 464 00:14:25,594 --> 00:14:27,527 I want stock options. All of them. 465 00:14:27,563 --> 00:14:29,162 We're not a public company, moron. 466 00:14:29,198 --> 00:14:30,530 There is no stock. 467 00:14:30,566 --> 00:14:32,265 I want 100 paid vacation days. 468 00:14:32,301 --> 00:14:33,433 That's three months! 469 00:14:33,469 --> 00:14:34,835 - I want my own parking spot... - No. 470 00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:35,802 - ...toilet... - No. 471 00:14:35,838 --> 00:14:37,037 - ...office... - No. 472 00:14:37,072 --> 00:14:38,605 ...and I'm going to change the name of the store 473 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,841 to Marvin and Brother Furniture Place. 474 00:14:40,876 --> 00:14:41,975 All right, forget I asked. 475 00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:43,176 [STAMMERING LOUDLY] 476 00:14:43,212 --> 00:14:44,311 Hold on. Fine. 477 00:14:44,346 --> 00:14:47,547 All you have to say is that you need me. 478 00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:49,316 I'm not gonna do that. 479 00:14:49,351 --> 00:14:51,618 Just say it, and all your dreams will come true. 480 00:14:51,653 --> 00:14:53,286 - I'm not gonna say it. - Just say the words! 481 00:14:53,322 --> 00:14:56,189 I don't need you, and I never will! 482 00:14:56,225 --> 00:14:57,624 [SCOFFS] 483 00:14:59,127 --> 00:15:00,460 Fine. 484 00:15:00,496 --> 00:15:02,195 We're finished here. [BREATHES DEEPLY] 485 00:15:02,231 --> 00:15:03,396 Leave your basement! 486 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,733 Or... fine. 487 00:15:06,768 --> 00:15:07,934 I will leave. 488 00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:10,937 [BELLS JINGLING] 489 00:15:10,973 --> 00:15:12,639 As my dad showed Marvin the door, 490 00:15:12,674 --> 00:15:14,474 my mom was showing Jamie Weisman 491 00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:15,575 Barry's baby book. 492 00:15:15,611 --> 00:15:17,177 And now here's Barry with his head 493 00:15:17,212 --> 00:15:18,812 - stuck in the banister. - Ooh. 494 00:15:18,847 --> 00:15:21,047 And now there he is with his head stuck in the fence. 495 00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,148 [WHISTLING] 496 00:15:22,184 --> 00:15:23,450 What?! 497 00:15:23,485 --> 00:15:26,019 We took a two-minute study break so I could get snacks! 498 00:15:26,054 --> 00:15:27,621 How did this happen so fast? 499 00:15:27,656 --> 00:15:30,257 Relax. I'm just showing your new friend some photos. 500 00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:31,525 Bro. A word? 501 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:32,526 Sure thing, bro. 502 00:15:32,561 --> 00:15:33,693 Feel free to peruse. 503 00:15:33,729 --> 00:15:34,761 There's some great pictures 504 00:15:34,796 --> 00:15:36,563 of little Barry making on the potty. 505 00:15:36,598 --> 00:15:37,564 [BOTH LAUGH] 506 00:15:37,599 --> 00:15:39,132 Or close to the potty. You know. 507 00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,433 Enjoy. 508 00:15:40,469 --> 00:15:41,902 What did you do? 509 00:15:41,937 --> 00:15:43,703 I just showed her a photo album. 510 00:15:43,739 --> 00:15:44,771 Like a mom. 511 00:15:44,806 --> 00:15:46,172 What happened to being my bro? 512 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:47,407 I am your bro. 513 00:15:47,442 --> 00:15:50,110 But not when it comes to cool girls with bad intentions. 514 00:15:50,145 --> 00:15:52,746 I was right! All you'll ever be is a mom. 515 00:15:52,781 --> 00:15:55,148 Dammit, I want to be more! I do! 516 00:15:55,183 --> 00:15:57,017 But I just can't stop myself. 517 00:15:57,052 --> 00:15:58,118 Well, I can. 518 00:15:58,153 --> 00:16:00,253 This is the last time I ask for your help. 519 00:16:00,289 --> 00:16:01,254 Ever. 520 00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:02,756 - Everything cool? - Yeah. 521 00:16:02,791 --> 00:16:04,157 I'm all studied out. 522 00:16:04,192 --> 00:16:06,092 I'll see you tomorrow. 523 00:16:06,128 --> 00:16:08,061 Just leave the door open when you go. 524 00:16:08,096 --> 00:16:10,263 We need to air out the Drakkar stink. 525 00:16:10,299 --> 00:16:12,766 ? 526 00:16:13,836 --> 00:16:15,828 After refusing to tell Marvin he needed him, 527 00:16:15,867 --> 00:16:18,745 my dad got a surprise visit from a guy who did. 528 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,143 Oh, God. 529 00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:21,256 I came to say "bravo." 530 00:16:21,292 --> 00:16:22,737 You pulled it off perfectly. 531 00:16:22,792 --> 00:16:24,158 What... What... What are you talking about? 532 00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:25,693 - Sabotage. - What? 533 00:16:25,728 --> 00:16:27,495 - Sabotage! - What about it? 534 00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:29,597 - [WHISPERING] Sabotage. - Stop saying "sabotage"! 535 00:16:29,632 --> 00:16:31,666 You let me steal your brother knowing full well 536 00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:34,068 that he would destroy my store from the inside. 537 00:16:34,103 --> 00:16:35,303 Ohh. What'd he do? 538 00:16:35,338 --> 00:16:37,805 First, he mistook the display toilet 539 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,107 - for "the real deal." - Oh, geez. 540 00:16:40,143 --> 00:16:42,443 Then he wants to rearrange the stock room. 541 00:16:42,478 --> 00:16:44,078 He loses control of the forklift. 542 00:16:44,113 --> 00:16:45,413 He pops three water beds. 543 00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:47,982 Now I gotta shut down because he flooded my showroom. 544 00:16:48,017 --> 00:16:49,984 Formica Mike, listen to me. 545 00:16:50,019 --> 00:16:52,653 - This isn't sabotage. - That wasn't sabotage? 546 00:16:52,689 --> 00:16:55,056 No. I'm not smart enough, and I know Marvin isn't. 547 00:16:55,091 --> 00:16:57,692 Okay. Then, first, I'm gonna fire the putz. 548 00:16:57,727 --> 00:16:59,927 Then I'm gonna make him pay for the water beds. 549 00:16:59,963 --> 00:17:01,862 Don't do that. 550 00:17:01,898 --> 00:17:03,564 I'll pay for it. 551 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,499 Why would you do that? 552 00:17:05,535 --> 00:17:08,235 Because... he really does mean well. 553 00:17:08,271 --> 00:17:10,171 You do know that that is the worst thing 554 00:17:10,206 --> 00:17:11,472 that you could say about a person? 555 00:17:11,507 --> 00:17:13,007 Oh, I'm aware. 556 00:17:13,042 --> 00:17:14,942 Here ya go, Ad. 557 00:17:14,978 --> 00:17:16,777 Sorry I stole your camera. 558 00:17:16,813 --> 00:17:19,246 I guess that's the end of my illustrious film career. 559 00:17:19,282 --> 00:17:20,881 It had a lens cap and a case. 560 00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:23,784 It sure did, pal. 561 00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:26,354 Marvin? Can we, uh, talk? Again? 562 00:17:26,389 --> 00:17:27,455 I don't think it's a good idea 563 00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:28,923 for me to fraternize with the enemy. 564 00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:30,257 Just shut up and listen. 565 00:17:30,293 --> 00:17:31,993 I made a deal with Formica Mike. 566 00:17:32,028 --> 00:17:34,895 You're coming back to work on Monday at twice the pay. 567 00:17:34,931 --> 00:17:36,764 - He tell you about the forklift incident? - Yes. 568 00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:38,289 And the miscommunication with the toilet? 569 00:17:38,351 --> 00:17:39,700 - Yeah. - He's gonna fire me, isn't he? 570 00:17:39,736 --> 00:17:40,968 Do you want to come back or don't you? 571 00:17:41,004 --> 00:17:41,969 I don't get it. 572 00:17:42,005 --> 00:17:43,738 Why would you take me back with a raise 573 00:17:43,773 --> 00:17:46,040 when I'm just your dumb kid brother who "means well"? 574 00:17:46,075 --> 00:17:47,508 Well, this time you didn't mean well. 575 00:17:47,543 --> 00:17:48,676 You did well. 576 00:17:48,711 --> 00:17:50,978 Your stupid commercial is a hit. 577 00:17:51,014 --> 00:17:52,316 [Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" plays] 578 00:17:52,341 --> 00:17:56,550 And... I really need you. 579 00:17:56,586 --> 00:17:58,653 You said it? He said it. 580 00:17:58,688 --> 00:18:00,788 What do you say we make another commercial? 581 00:18:00,823 --> 00:18:02,256 Together. 582 00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:04,659 In the end, turns out all my Uncle Marvin 583 00:18:04,694 --> 00:18:06,527 really wanted was to be needed. 584 00:18:06,562 --> 00:18:08,095 And he was. 585 00:18:08,131 --> 00:18:11,766 ? 586 00:18:11,801 --> 00:18:13,200 Hey, booper. 587 00:18:13,236 --> 00:18:14,702 Brought you a snacky. 588 00:18:14,737 --> 00:18:16,937 - Not a prune in sight. - Not hungry. 589 00:18:16,973 --> 00:18:19,640 You got a 98 on your Econ test? 590 00:18:19,676 --> 00:18:21,208 That's why I studied with Jamie. 591 00:18:21,244 --> 00:18:22,643 She gets straight "A's." 592 00:18:22,679 --> 00:18:23,944 Hmm. 593 00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:28,315 Guess I made a snap judgment based on some bleachers. 594 00:18:28,384 --> 00:18:31,719 I just... got worried, and the mom in me kicked in. 595 00:18:31,754 --> 00:18:32,720 Whatever. 596 00:18:32,755 --> 00:18:33,921 It's my fault for letting you in. 597 00:18:33,956 --> 00:18:36,924 No. I want you to let me in. 598 00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:37,958 You guys are getting older. 599 00:18:37,994 --> 00:18:39,827 You don't need a mom like you used to. 600 00:18:39,862 --> 00:18:41,462 But if I'm your friend... 601 00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:43,564 then I can still be there for you. 602 00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:45,332 I got plenty of friends. 603 00:18:45,368 --> 00:18:46,901 But I only got one mom. 604 00:18:46,936 --> 00:18:49,070 That night, our mom realized she could shine 605 00:18:49,105 --> 00:18:51,639 just as bright in Barry's life by being his mom, 606 00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:53,808 - while Uncle Marvin... - Like that? 607 00:18:53,843 --> 00:18:56,377 ...was enjoying his time in the spotlight. 608 00:18:56,412 --> 00:18:58,279 He really does mean well. 609 00:18:58,314 --> 00:19:00,114 He really does. 610 00:19:00,149 --> 00:19:01,248 Huh! 611 00:19:01,284 --> 00:19:03,384 And sometimes the people who mean well 612 00:19:03,419 --> 00:19:05,686 end up being the best surprises of all. 613 00:19:05,722 --> 00:19:07,655 Mom? 614 00:19:07,690 --> 00:19:08,956 What are you doing here? 615 00:19:08,991 --> 00:19:10,291 Schmoopie, you were right. 616 00:19:10,326 --> 00:19:11,459 I can't be your friend. 617 00:19:11,494 --> 00:19:13,394 I'm your mom, and that's what you need, 618 00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:15,696 and I am gonna mom it up like you have never seen. 619 00:19:15,732 --> 00:19:17,665 - Now? - I've had enough, mister! 620 00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:19,200 You're failing half of your classes 621 00:19:19,235 --> 00:19:21,168 because of all your wild partying. 622 00:19:21,204 --> 00:19:22,803 What are you doing? 623 00:19:22,839 --> 00:19:24,572 Oh, you just party so wildly. 624 00:19:24,607 --> 00:19:26,040 But it stops today! 625 00:19:26,075 --> 00:19:28,509 The same with your cool-but-dangerous stunts! 626 00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:31,312 And your antics, which are equally as wild. 627 00:19:31,347 --> 00:19:33,314 - Mom! - And you. 628 00:19:33,349 --> 00:19:35,716 You're the one who tutored my can't-be-tamed son 629 00:19:35,752 --> 00:19:36,817 - the other day, right? - Mm. 630 00:19:36,853 --> 00:19:37,952 Um, yeah. 631 00:19:37,987 --> 00:19:39,386 Great. Well, now you're gonna tutor him 632 00:19:39,422 --> 00:19:40,988 in all his subjects, huh? 633 00:19:41,023 --> 00:19:43,090 - [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] - Don't argue with me. 634 00:19:43,126 --> 00:19:45,326 What I say is final. 635 00:19:46,963 --> 00:19:48,062 Moms, huh? 636 00:19:48,097 --> 00:19:49,730 [SIGHS] Yeah. 637 00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:53,434 They're the worst. 638 00:19:53,469 --> 00:19:55,703 ? I can't stand this indecision ? 639 00:19:55,738 --> 00:19:56,871 Hai! 640 00:19:56,906 --> 00:19:58,839 Come on down to the Ottoman Empire, 641 00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:00,241 where the Sofa Samurai 642 00:20:00,276 --> 00:20:02,076 is slashing all our prices in half! 643 00:20:02,111 --> 00:20:04,979 And I am but a simple radish farmer. 644 00:20:05,014 --> 00:20:06,313 Oh, noble warrior, 645 00:20:06,349 --> 00:20:08,916 won't you protect us from high prices? 646 00:20:08,951 --> 00:20:10,217 ADULT ADAM: That's the thing about family. 647 00:20:10,253 --> 00:20:12,119 Everyone has a part to play. 648 00:20:12,155 --> 00:20:14,355 And when the people you love are playing themselves, 649 00:20:14,390 --> 00:20:17,124 well, that's a show you don't want to miss. 650 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:18,726 [GRUNTS] 651 00:20:18,761 --> 00:20:20,628 [SHRIEKS] 652 00:20:20,663 --> 00:20:22,329 ? 653 00:20:22,365 --> 00:20:24,965 Crazy Eddie's having a pillow sale! 654 00:20:25,001 --> 00:20:27,201 Every pillow you can see... 655 00:20:27,236 --> 00:20:30,838 big pillows, large pillows, throw pillows, every pillow! 656 00:20:30,873 --> 00:20:32,863 And it's only for this special month! 657 00:20:32,953 --> 00:20:33,980 Oh! 658 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,363 Call a guy and tell him something gross. 659 00:20:38,433 --> 00:20:40,133 Ew. Never. I'll take a zit sticker. 660 00:20:40,168 --> 00:20:41,801 I knew you'd still be here! 661 00:20:41,837 --> 00:20:43,303 Erica! You came home to see me! 662 00:20:43,338 --> 00:20:46,373 No, I came home to fight you all for invading my privacy! 663 00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:47,807 But Barry said you were fine with it. 664 00:20:47,843 --> 00:20:49,676 That is not what I said, Erica. 665 00:20:49,711 --> 00:20:51,878 What I told them was... Run, JTP! 666 00:20:51,913 --> 00:20:54,147 TOGETHER: JTP! 667 00:20:54,182 --> 00:20:55,415 Okay, I get you're mad, 668 00:20:55,450 --> 00:20:57,917 but can I at least get a kiss before you flip out? 669 00:20:57,953 --> 00:20:59,586 Yeah, I'm going back to school. 670 00:20:59,621 --> 00:21:00,887 Wait. That's not... But I didn't... 671 00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:02,311 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 672 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:06,911 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 49758

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