Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,367 --> 00:00:02,289
Back in the '80s,
2
00:00:02,290 --> 00:00:03,904
MTV did this crazy thing...
3
00:00:03,906 --> 00:00:06,554
And actually played music videos.
4
00:00:06,555 --> 00:00:09,826
They taught us that huge hair
and a sick guitar solo...
5
00:00:09,828 --> 00:00:12,379
Could turn a mere mortal into a Rock God.
6
00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:21,669
So, like all kids, I
formed an epic garage band
7
00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:23,107
with my brother, Barry.
8
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,741
And we were the Stuff of Legends.
9
00:00:29,234 --> 00:00:31,328
Well, in our minds.
10
00:00:34,945 --> 00:00:36,976
Thank you, Philadelphia.
11
00:00:36,978 --> 00:00:39,250
Good night!
12
00:00:39,252 --> 00:00:42,474
Okay, so we weren't Twisted
Sister, but we thought we were.
13
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:46,060
We're, like, guaranteed to be superstars.
14
00:00:46,062 --> 00:00:49,367
I mean, I'm big tasty, the
rapper who can rock a mike.
15
00:00:49,369 --> 00:00:51,002
But I can also rock a guitar.
16
00:00:51,004 --> 00:00:53,718
You know, if we're gonna be
selling out mega-stadiums,
17
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:58,091
- maybe we should learn more than one song.
- It's not about the music, okay?
18
00:00:58,093 --> 00:00:59,904
It's about the showmanship
19
00:00:59,906 --> 00:01:03,044
and pageantry and smoke machines
20
00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:06,625
and glitter cannons and
giant hair and codpieces.
21
00:01:06,627 --> 00:01:07,781
Seems a bit much.
22
00:01:07,783 --> 00:01:09,382
Well, the front man gets all the ladies.
23
00:01:09,384 --> 00:01:11,936
So I make all the decisions
for Barry and the Hendersons.
24
00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:15,039
I told you, our band name
isn't gonna have "Barry" in it.
25
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,654
Let's just put it on the board,
26
00:01:16,656 --> 00:01:18,826
see what it looks like...
Maybe we'll fall in love.
27
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:20,748
Sure, we had our creative differences.
28
00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,563
But the one thing we could agree on
29
00:01:22,565 --> 00:01:25,654
was that we were the greatest
band that ever existed.
30
00:01:25,656 --> 00:01:27,216
Just ask our groupies.
31
00:01:34,765 --> 00:01:36,577
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
32
00:01:39,104 --> 00:01:41,718
- Thank you, Veterans Stadium!
- Good night!
33
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:42,976
Wow.
34
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,963
Sounds like nobody's gonna take it.
35
00:01:44,965 --> 00:01:46,414
Mission accomplished!
36
00:01:46,416 --> 00:01:47,203
Yes!
37
00:01:47,205 --> 00:01:49,107
Oh, you're so awesome!
38
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,976
You remind me of my other
favorite band... Kiss.
39
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:54,195
No, no, no, no! Stop, stop!
40
00:01:56,401 --> 00:01:59,152
Sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
41
00:02:06,808 --> 00:02:08,674
It was mid-summer, 1980-something,
42
00:02:08,676 --> 00:02:10,611
and America had its latest obsession...
43
00:02:10,613 --> 00:02:11,691
The Royal wedding.
44
00:02:11,693 --> 00:02:15,074
And no one was more into Prince
Chuck and Lady Di than my mom.
45
00:02:15,076 --> 00:02:16,369
Mm! That Prince Charles.
46
00:02:16,371 --> 00:02:19,746
Imagine what it's like to be married
to someone so regal and majestic.
47
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,199
Hey, Bevy, what kind of mustard do I like?
48
00:02:22,201 --> 00:02:23,700
You like ketchup.
49
00:02:23,702 --> 00:02:25,822
We have company. Put on pants or leave.
50
00:02:25,824 --> 00:02:27,793
Yeah. You win this round.
51
00:02:27,795 --> 00:02:29,707
Guess we can't all have Prince Charles, huh?
52
00:02:29,709 --> 00:02:30,463
Oh, hush.
53
00:02:30,465 --> 00:02:34,978
He may not be the biggest fan of slacks,
but Murray can be very romantic.
54
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,802
Trust me.
55
00:02:36,804 --> 00:02:39,004
Charles and Diana got
nothing on our wedding.
56
00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:42,275
Wow. I want to see pictures,
wedding pictures, right now.
57
00:02:42,277 --> 00:02:44,785
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
They're all packed away in the attic.
58
00:02:44,787 --> 00:02:47,238
- Here's the album.
- Thank you, Janice.
59
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,877
Thank you for chiming in.
60
00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:52,691
Huh. Now, tell me why Murray is
sitting down during your vows.
61
00:02:52,693 --> 00:02:54,410
He got woozy.
62
00:02:54,412 --> 00:02:56,965
Big day, low blood sugar.
He ate a plum. It was fine.
63
00:02:56,967 --> 00:02:59,468
Listen, we all have things about our wedding
64
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,012
that we'd like to redo, right?
65
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,746
That's why the Hubby and I decided
to renew our vows last year.
66
00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:06,285
- You what, now?
- Just an intimate ceremony.
67
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,558
You know, some friends and family
68
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,919
and a band, some cake.
69
00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:11,785
You can have a second wedding?
70
00:03:11,787 --> 00:03:15,846
- No!
- Come on. It'll just be a little ceremony.
71
00:03:15,848 --> 00:03:18,314
Marriage is not like a
magazine subscription.
72
00:03:18,316 --> 00:03:19,679
You don't have to keep renewing it.
73
00:03:19,681 --> 00:03:21,231
Well, you do if you want
to keep the magazine.
74
00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,967
Well... this magazine right here,
75
00:03:23,969 --> 00:03:27,105
you get for free for the rest of your life.
76
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,189
How do you like that?
77
00:03:28,191 --> 00:03:29,607
You don't want to do this? Fine.
78
00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:30,975
How'd you make tears so fast?
79
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,310
They're always there,
80
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:36,145
lying in wait, because I feel so deeply.
81
00:03:36,147 --> 00:03:38,465
Fine! You wore me down.
82
00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:41,401
He said yes!
83
00:03:41,403 --> 00:03:43,419
He said yes!
84
00:03:43,421 --> 00:03:45,221
While my mother couldn't
wait to renew her vows,
85
00:03:45,223 --> 00:03:47,974
my sister was doing some waiting of her own.
86
00:03:47,976 --> 00:03:50,860
Just stop talking
and play The Bangles already.
87
00:03:50,862 --> 00:03:52,895
I know! It's music television!
88
00:03:52,897 --> 00:03:54,831
They should just play
videos and nothing else.
89
00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:57,470
Back then, you couldn't just
pull up your favorite song
90
00:03:57,472 --> 00:03:58,588
with a click on Youtube.
91
00:03:58,590 --> 00:03:59,636
You actually had to sit...
92
00:03:59,638 --> 00:04:00,863
Play the video!
93
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:04,939
And wait and wait until
that one glorious moment
94
00:04:04,941 --> 00:04:07,093
when your favorite video finally came on.
95
00:04:07,095 --> 00:04:10,221
And nothing would stop
you from singing along.
96
00:04:16,578 --> 00:04:17,911
No! No!
97
00:04:18,555 --> 00:04:21,221
I will kill you! I am not kidding.
98
00:04:21,223 --> 00:04:24,077
I will go to jail. I will do my time.
99
00:04:24,079 --> 00:04:26,412
I may come out a different
person, but it'll be worth it!
100
00:04:26,414 --> 00:04:28,933
Forget the lame-ass chick music.
101
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,129
I'm cordially inviting you out
to the garage to hear a real band.
102
00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:34,113
This...
103
00:04:36,117 --> 00:04:37,861
This is for you, girl.
104
00:04:37,863 --> 00:04:40,689
I...Pick... you.
105
00:04:40,691 --> 00:04:44,392
Yep, Barry had become obsessed
with Erica's best friend, Lainey,
106
00:04:44,394 --> 00:04:47,674
ever since she kissed him in a
moment of incredibly poor judgment.
107
00:04:47,676 --> 00:04:49,877
I'll dedicate a jam to you, girl.
108
00:04:49,879 --> 00:04:52,994
- Just come to one of our gigs.
- In the garage? No.
109
00:04:52,996 --> 00:04:56,361
Are we done with this horrible interaction?
Because there's a TV upstairs. Let's go!
110
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:58,863
Too bad Lainey didn't feel the same way.
111
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,179
Ah, she's good.
112
00:05:00,181 --> 00:05:01,647
Acting all, "I don't like you."
113
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,635
I think that's 'cause she doesn't like you.
114
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,669
Aw, sweet, naive baby child.
115
00:05:06,671 --> 00:05:08,869
She's just playing hard to get.
116
00:05:08,871 --> 00:05:10,976
It's obvious I'm all she thinks about.
117
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,644
It's not that obvious.
118
00:05:13,143 --> 00:05:15,427
It's all a part of the
game of love, my brother.
119
00:05:15,429 --> 00:05:17,346
And once we're topping the charts,
120
00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:18,603
she'll change her tune.
121
00:05:18,605 --> 00:05:20,611
Man! I can't wait to be famous.
122
00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:24,435
All the kids at school who call me a
nerd are gonna beg to be my best friend.
123
00:05:24,437 --> 00:05:26,371
And I'll buy a Ferrari
for every day of the week.
124
00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:29,010
And I will have every
garbage pail kid ever made.
125
00:05:29,012 --> 00:05:30,658
And Chuck Norris will be my personal trainer
126
00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:32,392
till his wife falls in love
with me and it gets awkward.
127
00:05:32,394 --> 00:05:34,392
And I'll buy bubbles the
chimp from Michael Jackson
128
00:05:34,394 --> 00:05:36,072
and give him a new name with dignity,
129
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,924
like William or Professor Bananas.
130
00:05:37,926 --> 00:05:39,892
And Charles Barkley will
beg me to join the sixers.
131
00:05:39,894 --> 00:05:41,369
And we'll live in a mansion in Miami,
132
00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:44,510
and Gloria Estefan and the Miami
Sound Machine will be our neighbors.
133
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,140
And we're gonna paint the
name of the band on the roof
134
00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:47,908
so everyone can see it from the sky!
135
00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:49,244
We'll be Rock Gods.
136
00:05:49,246 --> 00:05:50,869
There's only one way to get there.
137
00:05:50,871 --> 00:05:52,267
We got to get ourselves a gig.
138
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:55,216
So we did what any band does
when they need a big break.
139
00:05:55,218 --> 00:05:57,151
We asked our mommy.
140
00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:04,792
Yeah.
141
00:06:05,428 --> 00:06:07,971
That's gonna be a polite pass.
142
00:06:07,973 --> 00:06:09,197
- What?!
- What?!
143
00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:10,775
You never say no to us!
144
00:06:10,777 --> 00:06:12,883
Yeah! We're your delicious snuggle monsters.
145
00:06:12,885 --> 00:06:14,892
I don't think she understands.
146
00:06:14,894 --> 00:06:16,853
Give us the thing we want!
147
00:06:16,855 --> 00:06:18,806
Love to.
148
00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:20,301
But can't.
149
00:06:23,013 --> 00:06:25,862
Joke! She's kidding.
150
00:06:25,864 --> 00:06:26,963
You're hired.
151
00:06:26,965 --> 00:06:29,486
Yes! I knew we were amazing.
152
00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:31,965
We charge 200 bucks, non-negotiable.
153
00:06:33,138 --> 00:06:36,155
Dad, I thought we agreed
on dueling harpists.
154
00:06:36,157 --> 00:06:39,705
We'll have them play
one song at the very end.
155
00:06:39,707 --> 00:06:43,369
The noise will sober everybody
up for the drive home.
156
00:06:43,371 --> 00:06:44,981
It's money well spent.
157
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,499
I told you you didn't
have to pay for all this.
158
00:06:47,501 --> 00:06:48,596
Stop.
159
00:06:48,598 --> 00:06:50,387
What does my Princess want?
160
00:06:50,389 --> 00:06:53,090
Well, I do have a few ideas.
161
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:58,801
I'm thinking ice sculptures
and a horse-drawn carriage
162
00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:01,431
and, um, oh, those carving stations
163
00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:02,798
where they have the different meats
164
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,322
and then you point at the meats,
and they give you the meats.
165
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,830
You want meats, you got meats.
166
00:07:07,832 --> 00:07:09,838
"Wedding Binder"?
167
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,541
Isn't this what you have
when the wedding is real?
168
00:07:12,543 --> 00:07:16,645
Just shut up and let me do this. All
you have to do is write your vows.
169
00:07:16,647 --> 00:07:18,801
- Go.
- How about, instead,
170
00:07:18,803 --> 00:07:21,700
I go up and clean out the gutters
like you've been nagging me to do?
171
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,201
There's your romance.
172
00:07:23,203 --> 00:07:24,936
Write your vows.
173
00:07:24,938 --> 00:07:28,267
For my dad, that
was his definition of no fun.
174
00:07:28,269 --> 00:07:30,267
This is gonna be so much fun!
175
00:07:30,269 --> 00:07:33,094
Okay. Barry told us about the $200.
176
00:07:33,096 --> 00:07:34,095
Let's do this.
177
00:07:34,097 --> 00:07:36,080
Whoa, whoa. What's happening?
178
00:07:36,082 --> 00:07:38,267
Good news. The girls are joining the band.
179
00:07:38,269 --> 00:07:41,064
Barry ignored the cardinal
rule of being in a band.
180
00:07:41,066 --> 00:07:43,821
- Lainey.
- He let a girl come between us.
181
00:07:43,823 --> 00:07:46,557
You could share my mike.
It's great for duets.
182
00:07:46,559 --> 00:07:48,159
Your breath smells like cat food.
183
00:07:48,161 --> 00:07:50,957
I can assure you, it's people food.
184
00:07:51,866 --> 00:07:53,933
What... we're a two-man band.
185
00:07:53,935 --> 00:07:55,917
I'm not splitting our
appearance fee with them.
186
00:07:55,919 --> 00:07:57,168
Think about it.
187
00:07:57,170 --> 00:07:59,904
What's better than performing for her?
188
00:07:59,906 --> 00:08:01,525
Performing with her.
189
00:08:01,527 --> 00:08:05,066
Now we'll make sweet music together, and she
won't be able to deny her feelings for me.
190
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,601
But it's supposed to be you and me!
191
00:08:06,603 --> 00:08:09,213
It is just you and me... and them.
192
00:08:09,215 --> 00:08:10,832
You know what would be so cool?
193
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:12,500
If we did an all-acoustic set.
194
00:08:12,502 --> 00:08:13,584
Totally!
195
00:08:13,586 --> 00:08:15,830
That is a great idea,
Lainey! Adam, take five.
196
00:08:15,832 --> 00:08:18,260
Let's brainstorm. Do you
have any band names, Lainey?
197
00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:19,838
Ooh. How about the Gal Pals?
198
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:20,785
- Nailed it!
- Never!
199
00:08:20,787 --> 00:08:22,703
As my band was writing me off,
200
00:08:22,705 --> 00:08:25,027
my dad was busy writing his vows.
201
00:08:30,463 --> 00:08:32,463
Okay, so, he wasn't writing.
202
00:08:32,465 --> 00:08:35,830
He was watching his favorite
TV show, "Family Ties."
203
00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:41,189
Like all shows at the time,
204
00:08:41,191 --> 00:08:43,619
it was only as good as
its opening theme song.
205
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:45,559
Murray!
206
00:08:48,253 --> 00:08:49,685
Are you watching TV?
207
00:08:49,687 --> 00:08:53,156
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm just sitting in my writing chair,
208
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,633
letting the ideas flow from my pen.
209
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,017
You're gonna love what I got.
210
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:58,627
It's blank.
211
00:08:58,629 --> 00:09:00,728
Yeah, I got it all up here, baby.
212
00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:03,298
I know exactly what I want to say.
213
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:05,465
Let's hear it. Right now.
214
00:09:05,467 --> 00:09:06,887
Right now?
215
00:09:07,418 --> 00:09:09,185
You want to pre-hear
216
00:09:09,187 --> 00:09:12,621
the special vows I wrote special?
217
00:09:12,623 --> 00:09:15,260
- Who does that?
- Me. Go.
218
00:09:15,262 --> 00:09:17,598
My dad knew he
just had to speak from the heart
219
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,168
or the next best thing...
Quote an epic theme song.
220
00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:25,199
I bet we've been together
for a million years.
221
00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:30,777
And I bet we'll be
together for a million more.
222
00:09:31,578 --> 00:09:36,322
It's like I started breathing
on the night we kissed.
223
00:09:36,324 --> 00:09:38,353
My dad couldn't remember our birthdays,
224
00:09:38,355 --> 00:09:41,353
but he remembered every
damn word of that theme song.
225
00:09:41,355 --> 00:09:43,855
What would we do, baby...
226
00:09:43,857 --> 00:09:45,933
Without us?
227
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,471
Sha-la-la-la.
228
00:09:48,473 --> 00:09:50,946
That... was...
229
00:09:50,948 --> 00:09:52,682
Amazing!
230
00:09:54,207 --> 00:09:56,721
- You love me so much! Oh!
- I really do.
231
00:09:56,723 --> 00:09:58,336
I really do.
232
00:09:58,338 --> 00:10:00,455
Sha-la-la-la.
233
00:10:00,457 --> 00:10:03,791
Oh, I cannot wait for you to
say that in front of our friends!
234
00:10:03,793 --> 00:10:06,728
Well, you know I was just spitballing.
235
00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,027
I'm gonna have to rewrite it.
236
00:10:08,029 --> 00:10:09,579
No! No, no, no, no, no.
237
00:10:09,581 --> 00:10:12,551
You say those words exactly.
238
00:10:13,269 --> 00:10:16,393
I said no more than 10% baby's breath,
239
00:10:16,395 --> 00:10:17,453
and I'm looking at 30%.
240
00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:19,057
Take it all back.
241
00:10:19,059 --> 00:10:22,479
Wow, Bev, you are really
pulling out all the stops.
242
00:10:22,481 --> 00:10:24,986
Ohh. Well, I'm not the only one.
243
00:10:24,988 --> 00:10:27,682
I mean, I knew Murray was romantic.
244
00:10:27,684 --> 00:10:29,088
He doesn't show it,
245
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:32,275
but when you press him, it comes oozing out.
246
00:10:32,277 --> 00:10:34,824
Oh, you should hear the
vows he's writing for me.
247
00:10:34,826 --> 00:10:36,307
What did he say? I got
to hear. I got to hear.
248
00:10:36,309 --> 00:10:39,596
It was a private moment. I-I don't
really remember what was said...
249
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,137
- Oh, fair enough.
- But it was definitely this.
250
00:10:43,074 --> 00:10:47,699
"I bet we've been together
for a million years.
251
00:10:48,598 --> 00:10:52,871
And I bet we'll be
together for a million more.
252
00:10:53,738 --> 00:10:57,775
It's like I started breathing
on the night we kissed."
253
00:10:57,777 --> 00:10:58,676
Hmm.
254
00:10:58,678 --> 00:10:59,691
What?
255
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,180
It's just that... Have
you seen "Family Ties"?
256
00:11:02,182 --> 00:11:04,072
It's a hit TV show.
257
00:11:04,074 --> 00:11:06,417
Insanely popular. Michael J. Fox?
258
00:11:06,419 --> 00:11:07,721
Where are you going with this?
259
00:11:07,723 --> 00:11:10,846
I think that Murray's vows
260
00:11:10,848 --> 00:11:13,574
may share a few similarities with...
261
00:11:13,827 --> 00:11:16,033
A very famous theme song.
262
00:11:16,035 --> 00:11:19,212
What? No. You are so way off.
263
00:11:19,214 --> 00:11:23,848
You're right. But did his vows
happen to end with "sha-la-la-la"?
264
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,129
- You should go.
- I should go.
265
00:11:30,332 --> 00:11:32,488
Even though my brother
266
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:35,424
let Lainey Yoko Ono her way into our band,
267
00:11:35,426 --> 00:11:37,810
I was still clinging to our original dream.
268
00:11:37,812 --> 00:11:40,221
That is, until I heard this.
269
00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:06,603
Stop! Stop!
270
00:12:07,112 --> 00:12:08,411
What have you done?
271
00:12:08,413 --> 00:12:09,929
Where's my drum set?
272
00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:11,291
There are no drums, bro.
273
00:12:11,293 --> 00:12:13,199
Here. You can ding the little triangle.
274
00:12:13,201 --> 00:12:15,385
I don't want to ding a triangle.
275
00:12:15,387 --> 00:12:17,606
- Just ding the damn triangle!
- Never!
276
00:12:17,608 --> 00:12:19,822
Triangles? Candles?
277
00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:22,518
That's girl-band stuff.
We're not a girl band.
278
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,275
Says the guy wearing the lady's wig.
279
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,525
For your information, we're
trying to be Dee Snider.
280
00:12:27,527 --> 00:12:29,189
- Who's she?
- Never heard of him.
281
00:12:29,191 --> 00:12:30,463
Or his awesome music.
282
00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:32,525
What happened to you, man?
283
00:12:32,527 --> 00:12:36,027
It used to be about the music
and the mansion and Chuck Norris.
284
00:12:36,809 --> 00:12:38,049
You've changed.
285
00:12:38,051 --> 00:12:40,080
No. I evolved.
286
00:12:40,082 --> 00:12:42,330
You're the one who's
stuck in the same place.
287
00:12:42,332 --> 00:12:44,697
I just... like being a team.
288
00:12:45,302 --> 00:12:46,718
Guess that's over now.
289
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,832
That...
290
00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:53,334
Was a bummer, but, hey.
291
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:55,746
It's show business, not
show friends, am I right?
292
00:12:55,748 --> 00:12:57,504
Speaking of that, we had a band meeting.
293
00:12:57,506 --> 00:12:58,793
- When?
- Just now.
294
00:12:58,795 --> 00:13:01,285
- And we're gonna have to ask you to leave.
- What are you talking about?
295
00:13:01,287 --> 00:13:04,421
You're out of the band. You keep
winking at Lainey and staring at Lainey.
296
00:13:04,423 --> 00:13:06,801
- And one time, I saw you smell Lainey.
- Wait. What?
297
00:13:06,803 --> 00:13:09,087
You're throwing me out of my
own band? You can't do that.
298
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,340
We just did.
299
00:13:13,106 --> 00:13:14,592
Wait. Barry.
300
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,710
Yeah?
301
00:13:16,127 --> 00:13:18,027
Leave the triangle.
302
00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:20,389
It was 6:00 P.M. sharp.
303
00:13:20,391 --> 00:13:23,275
As always, my dad
dropped his pants off from work.
304
00:13:23,277 --> 00:13:24,577
Little did he know,
305
00:13:24,579 --> 00:13:27,171
my mom was about to drop a bomb on him.
306
00:13:31,528 --> 00:13:32,731
Wow.
307
00:13:32,733 --> 00:13:35,525
Shrimp parm. What's the occasion?
308
00:13:35,527 --> 00:13:37,197
Oh, just a little thank-you
309
00:13:37,199 --> 00:13:41,135
for all you're doing to
make our renewal so magical.
310
00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:43,408
Well, it's mostly you,
311
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:45,182
but I do deserve some credit.
312
00:13:45,184 --> 00:13:48,635
Gosh, I just can't stop thinking
about those vows of yours.
313
00:13:48,637 --> 00:13:50,977
How did you come up with
such beautiful words?
314
00:13:50,979 --> 00:13:54,340
Well, I thought, "I wish we'd
been together for a million years."
315
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,137
- And?
- And...
316
00:13:57,139 --> 00:14:00,111
"I wish we could be
together for a million more."
317
00:14:00,113 --> 00:14:01,369
That... that... 2 million!
318
00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:05,301
Wow. That is so touching and from the heart.
319
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:09,010
Maybe I should share my vows
with you. Would you like that?
320
00:14:09,012 --> 00:14:11,205
Uh... surprise me on the day.
321
00:14:11,207 --> 00:14:13,400
No. No, no, no, no. I insist.
322
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:16,152
You take the good.
323
00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,154
You take the bad.
324
00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:19,756
You take them both,
325
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:22,425
and then you have the Facts Of Life.
326
00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:23,209
Oh, boy.
327
00:14:23,211 --> 00:14:25,979
The Facts Of Life!
328
00:14:25,981 --> 00:14:27,614
Okay.
329
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,499
Clearly, you're angry.
330
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,901
And I'm willing to take some of the blame...
331
00:14:31,903 --> 00:14:32,952
Up to 30%.
332
00:14:32,954 --> 00:14:35,893
How hard is it for you to say you love me?
333
00:14:35,895 --> 00:14:38,432
What do you want from me?
Nothing rhymes with Beverly.
334
00:14:38,434 --> 00:14:40,260
It doesn't have to rhyme.
335
00:14:40,262 --> 00:14:40,979
It... you know what?
336
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,413
Don't even bother with
the vows. I'm canceling it.
337
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:44,764
Oh, don't do that.
338
00:14:44,766 --> 00:14:45,965
I mean it.
339
00:14:45,975 --> 00:14:48,174
We are never getting married again... ever.
340
00:14:48,176 --> 00:14:50,719
Fine. The whole thing was just a big excuse
341
00:14:50,721 --> 00:14:52,354
to throw yourself a party, anyway.
342
00:14:52,356 --> 00:14:55,463
Yes, I wanted to be treated like a princess,
343
00:14:55,465 --> 00:14:57,476
because all I do around here
344
00:14:57,478 --> 00:15:00,950
is cook and clean all... day... long.
345
00:15:00,952 --> 00:15:03,457
But you know what I really wanted?
346
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:08,777
I just wanted to hear you talk
about how much you love me.
347
00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:15,236
My mom wasn't the only one feeling
the sting of disappointment.
348
00:15:15,813 --> 00:15:19,486
Even the greatest musical instrument
of the '80s couldn't cheer me up.
349
00:15:19,488 --> 00:15:22,127
- Since when do you play keytar?
- Since I went solo.
350
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,229
Like David Lee Roth with less jumping
351
00:15:24,231 --> 00:15:26,197
'cause of my ingrown toenail.
352
00:15:26,199 --> 00:15:28,354
I'm kind of on my own, too.
353
00:15:28,356 --> 00:15:32,439
- They kicked me out of the band.
- Oh, doesn't feel good, does it, you putz?
354
00:15:32,441 --> 00:15:35,018
All right. Listen.
355
00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:37,856
I'll admit I got blinded by love.
356
00:15:37,858 --> 00:15:39,233
But I'm back now.
357
00:15:39,235 --> 00:15:41,536
- I don't know, man.
- Come on.
358
00:15:41,538 --> 00:15:43,229
I got no band without my drummer.
359
00:15:43,231 --> 00:15:46,307
In one day, we went through
the whole cycle of a band...
360
00:15:46,309 --> 00:15:50,121
The fight, the breakup, and now the reunion.
361
00:15:51,012 --> 00:15:53,150
You know, even though
my mom canceled our gig,
362
00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:55,744
we're amazing enough to still
become a female supergroup.
363
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,752
For sure. Let's get famous.
364
00:15:57,754 --> 00:15:59,369
Two, three, four.
365
00:16:10,549 --> 00:16:13,512
Get out of here! You two
are kicked out of the band!
366
00:16:17,025 --> 00:16:19,025
Fine! If that's how you want to be...
367
00:16:19,027 --> 00:16:20,190
Hit it, Lainey.
368
00:16:23,045 --> 00:16:24,973
It was an epic battle of the bands.
369
00:16:24,975 --> 00:16:26,646
Twisted Sister vs. Sister.
370
00:16:26,648 --> 00:16:28,465
And even though they were different styles,
371
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:32,469
sometimes, music melds together
into one glorious mash-up.
372
00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:36,411
Enough!
373
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,723
This was not one of those times.
374
00:16:39,945 --> 00:16:41,278
Go practice somewhere else!
375
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,752
No! This garage belongs to us!
376
00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:46,032
I'm sorry, Lainey, but at
this point in my career,
377
00:16:46,034 --> 00:16:47,400
I have to put the music first.
378
00:16:47,402 --> 00:16:49,736
Barry, what are you talking about?
379
00:16:49,738 --> 00:16:53,621
I'm talking about what happened
between us and our tongues.
380
00:16:53,623 --> 00:16:55,759
Why do you deny our night of passion?
381
00:16:55,761 --> 00:16:58,178
Uh... how much more obvious can I be?
382
00:16:58,180 --> 00:16:59,905
We're not a thing.
383
00:16:59,907 --> 00:17:02,424
- But...
- Look, I just don't like you that way.
384
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,348
What's going on?
385
00:17:16,350 --> 00:17:18,176
Nothing. Just turn it off.
386
00:17:18,178 --> 00:17:20,312
Hey.
387
00:17:20,314 --> 00:17:22,746
You set the alarm to watch the wedding.
388
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,078
Don't not watch it because
you're pissed at me.
389
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,513
Just leave me alone.
390
00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:33,580
What the hell are you doing?
391
00:17:33,582 --> 00:17:34,799
Can't sleep.
392
00:17:34,801 --> 00:17:36,025
Look at her.
393
00:17:36,027 --> 00:17:38,416
She really is the people's princess.
394
00:17:38,418 --> 00:17:40,572
I'll never be anyone's Princess.
395
00:17:40,582 --> 00:17:42,504
My destiny is to die alone.
396
00:17:42,506 --> 00:17:45,199
What are you talking about? Why
are you being a dramatic moron?
397
00:17:45,201 --> 00:17:46,520
I suck!
398
00:17:46,522 --> 00:17:49,213
I actually thought I could land
a girl that's so out of my league.
399
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:51,955
Hey. It's possible. Trust me.
400
00:17:51,957 --> 00:17:53,479
No offense, dad,
401
00:17:53,481 --> 00:17:55,518
but you just don't get
what it's like to be me.
402
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,869
Come with me. I want to show you something.
403
00:17:57,871 --> 00:17:59,869
Look at her.
404
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,705
Talk about out of my league.
405
00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:04,275
You're sitting through the ceremony.
406
00:18:04,277 --> 00:18:06,410
My God. All you do is sit.
407
00:18:06,412 --> 00:18:08,004
It's a problem, really.
408
00:18:08,006 --> 00:18:09,722
Shut up.
409
00:18:09,724 --> 00:18:12,316
Your mother thought it was low blood sugar.
410
00:18:12,318 --> 00:18:15,293
- Actually, I was just so overwhelmed.
- Why?
411
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,601
Look at her. She's so beautiful and smart.
412
00:18:17,603 --> 00:18:19,621
I never thought I'd be good enough for her.
413
00:18:19,623 --> 00:18:21,388
Well, this gives me hope.
414
00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:24,875
I mean, you're awful, and you got mom, so...
415
00:18:24,877 --> 00:18:26,513
Can't give up.
416
00:18:27,447 --> 00:18:30,097
Sure, what Barry said
was needlessly hurtful,
417
00:18:30,099 --> 00:18:31,644
but in that insult,
418
00:18:31,646 --> 00:18:34,246
my dad found a kernel of wisdom.
419
00:18:34,724 --> 00:18:36,699
Go wake up the other morons.
420
00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:38,443
You got a gig to play.
421
00:19:11,769 --> 00:19:13,268
Dad.
422
00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:15,347
What's going on?
423
00:19:15,349 --> 00:19:18,550
Turns out you get that
perfect wedding after all.
424
00:19:34,209 --> 00:19:38,531
I'm not very good, uh, with vows.
425
00:19:39,282 --> 00:19:41,316
And, uh...
426
00:19:41,318 --> 00:19:45,336
God knows I'm not a prince.
427
00:19:45,338 --> 00:19:46,671
Um...
428
00:19:46,673 --> 00:19:49,709
The one thing I do know for sure
429
00:19:49,711 --> 00:19:52,084
is you are my princess.
430
00:19:52,863 --> 00:19:58,646
And I am the luckiest nobody in the world.
431
00:20:00,388 --> 00:20:02,388
Sha-la-la-la.
432
00:20:13,016 --> 00:20:16,332
Sure, we were far from royalty or Rock Gods,
433
00:20:16,334 --> 00:20:19,670
but that night, my mom felt like a queen.
434
00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:25,509
- Listen, about what I said.
- No.
435
00:20:25,511 --> 00:20:27,945
It's fine. I get it.
436
00:20:27,947 --> 00:20:29,998
You don't feel the same way about me.
437
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,499
But I'll win you over.
438
00:20:31,501 --> 00:20:32,894
No, you won't.
439
00:20:32,896 --> 00:20:34,488
Yeah, I will.
440
00:20:34,489 --> 00:20:36,550
No. You won't.
441
00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:37,922
Yes, I will.
442
00:20:38,406 --> 00:20:39,748
No. You won't.
443
00:20:59,018 --> 00:21:00,855
Mommy, I have a question.
444
00:21:00,857 --> 00:21:03,419
So, Lainey's going to
Ocean City over the weekend,
445
00:21:03,421 --> 00:21:07,600
and if you let me go, I will give you
the best snuggies of your life.
446
00:21:07,602 --> 00:21:10,144
Get off! Don't touch me!
447
00:21:10,146 --> 00:21:11,949
God! You've got to stop wearing that wig.
448
00:21:11,951 --> 00:21:13,095
I keep thinking you're mom.
449
00:21:13,097 --> 00:21:15,261
What are you talking about? I look awesome.
450
00:21:15,263 --> 00:21:18,113
- Seriously, look at you.
- Nope. Don't see it.
451
00:21:18,115 --> 00:21:19,661
Say "I have failed as a mother."
452
00:21:19,663 --> 00:21:21,713
I have failed as a mother.
453
00:21:22,592 --> 00:21:25,226
Adam, we're getting mohawks!
454
00:21:25,525 --> 00:21:27,525
sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
455
00:21:27,575 --> 00:21:32,125
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34326
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.