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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,367 --> 00:00:02,289 Back in the '80s, 2 00:00:02,290 --> 00:00:03,904 MTV did this crazy thing... 3 00:00:03,906 --> 00:00:06,554 And actually played music videos. 4 00:00:06,555 --> 00:00:09,826 They taught us that huge hair and a sick guitar solo... 5 00:00:09,828 --> 00:00:12,379 Could turn a mere mortal into a Rock God. 6 00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:21,669 So, like all kids, I formed an epic garage band 7 00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:23,107 with my brother, Barry. 8 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,741 And we were the Stuff of Legends. 9 00:00:29,234 --> 00:00:31,328 Well, in our minds. 10 00:00:34,945 --> 00:00:36,976 Thank you, Philadelphia. 11 00:00:36,978 --> 00:00:39,250 Good night! 12 00:00:39,252 --> 00:00:42,474 Okay, so we weren't Twisted Sister, but we thought we were. 13 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:46,060 We're, like, guaranteed to be superstars. 14 00:00:46,062 --> 00:00:49,367 I mean, I'm big tasty, the rapper who can rock a mike. 15 00:00:49,369 --> 00:00:51,002 But I can also rock a guitar. 16 00:00:51,004 --> 00:00:53,718 You know, if we're gonna be selling out mega-stadiums, 17 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:58,091 - maybe we should learn more than one song. - It's not about the music, okay? 18 00:00:58,093 --> 00:00:59,904 It's about the showmanship 19 00:00:59,906 --> 00:01:03,044 and pageantry and smoke machines 20 00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:06,625 and glitter cannons and giant hair and codpieces. 21 00:01:06,627 --> 00:01:07,781 Seems a bit much. 22 00:01:07,783 --> 00:01:09,382 Well, the front man gets all the ladies. 23 00:01:09,384 --> 00:01:11,936 So I make all the decisions for Barry and the Hendersons. 24 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:15,039 I told you, our band name isn't gonna have "Barry" in it. 25 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,654 Let's just put it on the board, 26 00:01:16,656 --> 00:01:18,826 see what it looks like... Maybe we'll fall in love. 27 00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:20,748 Sure, we had our creative differences. 28 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,563 But the one thing we could agree on 29 00:01:22,565 --> 00:01:25,654 was that we were the greatest band that ever existed. 30 00:01:25,656 --> 00:01:27,216 Just ask our groupies. 31 00:01:34,765 --> 00:01:36,577 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 32 00:01:39,104 --> 00:01:41,718 - Thank you, Veterans Stadium! - Good night! 33 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:42,976 Wow. 34 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,963 Sounds like nobody's gonna take it. 35 00:01:44,965 --> 00:01:46,414 Mission accomplished! 36 00:01:46,416 --> 00:01:47,203 Yes! 37 00:01:47,205 --> 00:01:49,107 Oh, you're so awesome! 38 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,976 You remind me of my other favorite band... Kiss. 39 00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:54,195 No, no, no, no! Stop, stop! 40 00:01:56,401 --> 00:01:59,152 Sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 41 00:02:06,808 --> 00:02:08,674 It was mid-summer, 1980-something, 42 00:02:08,676 --> 00:02:10,611 and America had its latest obsession... 43 00:02:10,613 --> 00:02:11,691 The Royal wedding. 44 00:02:11,693 --> 00:02:15,074 And no one was more into Prince Chuck and Lady Di than my mom. 45 00:02:15,076 --> 00:02:16,369 Mm! That Prince Charles. 46 00:02:16,371 --> 00:02:19,746 Imagine what it's like to be married to someone so regal and majestic. 47 00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,199 Hey, Bevy, what kind of mustard do I like? 48 00:02:22,201 --> 00:02:23,700 You like ketchup. 49 00:02:23,702 --> 00:02:25,822 We have company. Put on pants or leave. 50 00:02:25,824 --> 00:02:27,793 Yeah. You win this round. 51 00:02:27,795 --> 00:02:29,707 Guess we can't all have Prince Charles, huh? 52 00:02:29,709 --> 00:02:30,463 Oh, hush. 53 00:02:30,465 --> 00:02:34,978 He may not be the biggest fan of slacks, but Murray can be very romantic. 54 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,802 Trust me. 55 00:02:36,804 --> 00:02:39,004 Charles and Diana got nothing on our wedding. 56 00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:42,275 Wow. I want to see pictures, wedding pictures, right now. 57 00:02:42,277 --> 00:02:44,785 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. They're all packed away in the attic. 58 00:02:44,787 --> 00:02:47,238 - Here's the album. - Thank you, Janice. 59 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,877 Thank you for chiming in. 60 00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:52,691 Huh. Now, tell me why Murray is sitting down during your vows. 61 00:02:52,693 --> 00:02:54,410 He got woozy. 62 00:02:54,412 --> 00:02:56,965 Big day, low blood sugar. He ate a plum. It was fine. 63 00:02:56,967 --> 00:02:59,468 Listen, we all have things about our wedding 64 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,012 that we'd like to redo, right? 65 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,746 That's why the Hubby and I decided to renew our vows last year. 66 00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:06,285 - You what, now? - Just an intimate ceremony. 67 00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,558 You know, some friends and family 68 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,919 and a band, some cake. 69 00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:11,785 You can have a second wedding? 70 00:03:11,787 --> 00:03:15,846 - No! - Come on. It'll just be a little ceremony. 71 00:03:15,848 --> 00:03:18,314 Marriage is not like a magazine subscription. 72 00:03:18,316 --> 00:03:19,679 You don't have to keep renewing it. 73 00:03:19,681 --> 00:03:21,231 Well, you do if you want to keep the magazine. 74 00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,967 Well... this magazine right here, 75 00:03:23,969 --> 00:03:27,105 you get for free for the rest of your life. 76 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,189 How do you like that? 77 00:03:28,191 --> 00:03:29,607 You don't want to do this? Fine. 78 00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:30,975 How'd you make tears so fast? 79 00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,310 They're always there, 80 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:36,145 lying in wait, because I feel so deeply. 81 00:03:36,147 --> 00:03:38,465 Fine! You wore me down. 82 00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:41,401 He said yes! 83 00:03:41,403 --> 00:03:43,419 He said yes! 84 00:03:43,421 --> 00:03:45,221 While my mother couldn't wait to renew her vows, 85 00:03:45,223 --> 00:03:47,974 my sister was doing some waiting of her own. 86 00:03:47,976 --> 00:03:50,860 Just stop talking and play The Bangles already. 87 00:03:50,862 --> 00:03:52,895 I know! It's music television! 88 00:03:52,897 --> 00:03:54,831 They should just play videos and nothing else. 89 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:57,470 Back then, you couldn't just pull up your favorite song 90 00:03:57,472 --> 00:03:58,588 with a click on Youtube. 91 00:03:58,590 --> 00:03:59,636 You actually had to sit... 92 00:03:59,638 --> 00:04:00,863 Play the video! 93 00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:04,939 And wait and wait until that one glorious moment 94 00:04:04,941 --> 00:04:07,093 when your favorite video finally came on. 95 00:04:07,095 --> 00:04:10,221 And nothing would stop you from singing along. 96 00:04:16,578 --> 00:04:17,911 No! No! 97 00:04:18,555 --> 00:04:21,221 I will kill you! I am not kidding. 98 00:04:21,223 --> 00:04:24,077 I will go to jail. I will do my time. 99 00:04:24,079 --> 00:04:26,412 I may come out a different person, but it'll be worth it! 100 00:04:26,414 --> 00:04:28,933 Forget the lame-ass chick music. 101 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,129 I'm cordially inviting you out to the garage to hear a real band. 102 00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:34,113 This... 103 00:04:36,117 --> 00:04:37,861 This is for you, girl. 104 00:04:37,863 --> 00:04:40,689 I...Pick... you. 105 00:04:40,691 --> 00:04:44,392 Yep, Barry had become obsessed with Erica's best friend, Lainey, 106 00:04:44,394 --> 00:04:47,674 ever since she kissed him in a moment of incredibly poor judgment. 107 00:04:47,676 --> 00:04:49,877 I'll dedicate a jam to you, girl. 108 00:04:49,879 --> 00:04:52,994 - Just come to one of our gigs. - In the garage? No. 109 00:04:52,996 --> 00:04:56,361 Are we done with this horrible interaction? Because there's a TV upstairs. Let's go! 110 00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:58,863 Too bad Lainey didn't feel the same way. 111 00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,179 Ah, she's good. 112 00:05:00,181 --> 00:05:01,647 Acting all, "I don't like you." 113 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,635 I think that's 'cause she doesn't like you. 114 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,669 Aw, sweet, naive baby child. 115 00:05:06,671 --> 00:05:08,869 She's just playing hard to get. 116 00:05:08,871 --> 00:05:10,976 It's obvious I'm all she thinks about. 117 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,644 It's not that obvious. 118 00:05:13,143 --> 00:05:15,427 It's all a part of the game of love, my brother. 119 00:05:15,429 --> 00:05:17,346 And once we're topping the charts, 120 00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:18,603 she'll change her tune. 121 00:05:18,605 --> 00:05:20,611 Man! I can't wait to be famous. 122 00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:24,435 All the kids at school who call me a nerd are gonna beg to be my best friend. 123 00:05:24,437 --> 00:05:26,371 And I'll buy a Ferrari for every day of the week. 124 00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:29,010 And I will have every garbage pail kid ever made. 125 00:05:29,012 --> 00:05:30,658 And Chuck Norris will be my personal trainer 126 00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:32,392 till his wife falls in love with me and it gets awkward. 127 00:05:32,394 --> 00:05:34,392 And I'll buy bubbles the chimp from Michael Jackson 128 00:05:34,394 --> 00:05:36,072 and give him a new name with dignity, 129 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,924 like William or Professor Bananas. 130 00:05:37,926 --> 00:05:39,892 And Charles Barkley will beg me to join the sixers. 131 00:05:39,894 --> 00:05:41,369 And we'll live in a mansion in Miami, 132 00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:44,510 and Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine will be our neighbors. 133 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,140 And we're gonna paint the name of the band on the roof 134 00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:47,908 so everyone can see it from the sky! 135 00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:49,244 We'll be Rock Gods. 136 00:05:49,246 --> 00:05:50,869 There's only one way to get there. 137 00:05:50,871 --> 00:05:52,267 We got to get ourselves a gig. 138 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:55,216 So we did what any band does when they need a big break. 139 00:05:55,218 --> 00:05:57,151 We asked our mommy. 140 00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:04,792 Yeah. 141 00:06:05,428 --> 00:06:07,971 That's gonna be a polite pass. 142 00:06:07,973 --> 00:06:09,197 - What?! - What?! 143 00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:10,775 You never say no to us! 144 00:06:10,777 --> 00:06:12,883 Yeah! We're your delicious snuggle monsters. 145 00:06:12,885 --> 00:06:14,892 I don't think she understands. 146 00:06:14,894 --> 00:06:16,853 Give us the thing we want! 147 00:06:16,855 --> 00:06:18,806 Love to. 148 00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:20,301 But can't. 149 00:06:23,013 --> 00:06:25,862 Joke! She's kidding. 150 00:06:25,864 --> 00:06:26,963 You're hired. 151 00:06:26,965 --> 00:06:29,486 Yes! I knew we were amazing. 152 00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:31,965 We charge 200 bucks, non-negotiable. 153 00:06:33,138 --> 00:06:36,155 Dad, I thought we agreed on dueling harpists. 154 00:06:36,157 --> 00:06:39,705 We'll have them play one song at the very end. 155 00:06:39,707 --> 00:06:43,369 The noise will sober everybody up for the drive home. 156 00:06:43,371 --> 00:06:44,981 It's money well spent. 157 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,499 I told you you didn't have to pay for all this. 158 00:06:47,501 --> 00:06:48,596 Stop. 159 00:06:48,598 --> 00:06:50,387 What does my Princess want? 160 00:06:50,389 --> 00:06:53,090 Well, I do have a few ideas. 161 00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:58,801 I'm thinking ice sculptures and a horse-drawn carriage 162 00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:01,431 and, um, oh, those carving stations 163 00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:02,798 where they have the different meats 164 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,322 and then you point at the meats, and they give you the meats. 165 00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,830 You want meats, you got meats. 166 00:07:07,832 --> 00:07:09,838 "Wedding Binder"? 167 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,541 Isn't this what you have when the wedding is real? 168 00:07:12,543 --> 00:07:16,645 Just shut up and let me do this. All you have to do is write your vows. 169 00:07:16,647 --> 00:07:18,801 - Go. - How about, instead, 170 00:07:18,803 --> 00:07:21,700 I go up and clean out the gutters like you've been nagging me to do? 171 00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,201 There's your romance. 172 00:07:23,203 --> 00:07:24,936 Write your vows. 173 00:07:24,938 --> 00:07:28,267 For my dad, that was his definition of no fun. 174 00:07:28,269 --> 00:07:30,267 This is gonna be so much fun! 175 00:07:30,269 --> 00:07:33,094 Okay. Barry told us about the $200. 176 00:07:33,096 --> 00:07:34,095 Let's do this. 177 00:07:34,097 --> 00:07:36,080 Whoa, whoa. What's happening? 178 00:07:36,082 --> 00:07:38,267 Good news. The girls are joining the band. 179 00:07:38,269 --> 00:07:41,064 Barry ignored the cardinal rule of being in a band. 180 00:07:41,066 --> 00:07:43,821 - Lainey. - He let a girl come between us. 181 00:07:43,823 --> 00:07:46,557 You could share my mike. It's great for duets. 182 00:07:46,559 --> 00:07:48,159 Your breath smells like cat food. 183 00:07:48,161 --> 00:07:50,957 I can assure you, it's people food. 184 00:07:51,866 --> 00:07:53,933 What... we're a two-man band. 185 00:07:53,935 --> 00:07:55,917 I'm not splitting our appearance fee with them. 186 00:07:55,919 --> 00:07:57,168 Think about it. 187 00:07:57,170 --> 00:07:59,904 What's better than performing for her? 188 00:07:59,906 --> 00:08:01,525 Performing with her. 189 00:08:01,527 --> 00:08:05,066 Now we'll make sweet music together, and she won't be able to deny her feelings for me. 190 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,601 But it's supposed to be you and me! 191 00:08:06,603 --> 00:08:09,213 It is just you and me... and them. 192 00:08:09,215 --> 00:08:10,832 You know what would be so cool? 193 00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:12,500 If we did an all-acoustic set. 194 00:08:12,502 --> 00:08:13,584 Totally! 195 00:08:13,586 --> 00:08:15,830 That is a great idea, Lainey! Adam, take five. 196 00:08:15,832 --> 00:08:18,260 Let's brainstorm. Do you have any band names, Lainey? 197 00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:19,838 Ooh. How about the Gal Pals? 198 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:20,785 - Nailed it! - Never! 199 00:08:20,787 --> 00:08:22,703 As my band was writing me off, 200 00:08:22,705 --> 00:08:25,027 my dad was busy writing his vows. 201 00:08:30,463 --> 00:08:32,463 Okay, so, he wasn't writing. 202 00:08:32,465 --> 00:08:35,830 He was watching his favorite TV show, "Family Ties." 203 00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:41,189 Like all shows at the time, 204 00:08:41,191 --> 00:08:43,619 it was only as good as its opening theme song. 205 00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:45,559 Murray! 206 00:08:48,253 --> 00:08:49,685 Are you watching TV? 207 00:08:49,687 --> 00:08:53,156 No, no, no, no, no. I'm just sitting in my writing chair, 208 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,633 letting the ideas flow from my pen. 209 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,017 You're gonna love what I got. 210 00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:58,627 It's blank. 211 00:08:58,629 --> 00:09:00,728 Yeah, I got it all up here, baby. 212 00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:03,298 I know exactly what I want to say. 213 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:05,465 Let's hear it. Right now. 214 00:09:05,467 --> 00:09:06,887 Right now? 215 00:09:07,418 --> 00:09:09,185 You want to pre-hear 216 00:09:09,187 --> 00:09:12,621 the special vows I wrote special? 217 00:09:12,623 --> 00:09:15,260 - Who does that? - Me. Go. 218 00:09:15,262 --> 00:09:17,598 My dad knew he just had to speak from the heart 219 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,168 or the next best thing... Quote an epic theme song. 220 00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:25,199 I bet we've been together for a million years. 221 00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:30,777 And I bet we'll be together for a million more. 222 00:09:31,578 --> 00:09:36,322 It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed. 223 00:09:36,324 --> 00:09:38,353 My dad couldn't remember our birthdays, 224 00:09:38,355 --> 00:09:41,353 but he remembered every damn word of that theme song. 225 00:09:41,355 --> 00:09:43,855 What would we do, baby... 226 00:09:43,857 --> 00:09:45,933 Without us? 227 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,471 Sha-la-la-la. 228 00:09:48,473 --> 00:09:50,946 That... was... 229 00:09:50,948 --> 00:09:52,682 Amazing! 230 00:09:54,207 --> 00:09:56,721 - You love me so much! Oh! - I really do. 231 00:09:56,723 --> 00:09:58,336 I really do. 232 00:09:58,338 --> 00:10:00,455 Sha-la-la-la. 233 00:10:00,457 --> 00:10:03,791 Oh, I cannot wait for you to say that in front of our friends! 234 00:10:03,793 --> 00:10:06,728 Well, you know I was just spitballing. 235 00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,027 I'm gonna have to rewrite it. 236 00:10:08,029 --> 00:10:09,579 No! No, no, no, no, no. 237 00:10:09,581 --> 00:10:12,551 You say those words exactly. 238 00:10:13,269 --> 00:10:16,393 I said no more than 10% baby's breath, 239 00:10:16,395 --> 00:10:17,453 and I'm looking at 30%. 240 00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:19,057 Take it all back. 241 00:10:19,059 --> 00:10:22,479 Wow, Bev, you are really pulling out all the stops. 242 00:10:22,481 --> 00:10:24,986 Ohh. Well, I'm not the only one. 243 00:10:24,988 --> 00:10:27,682 I mean, I knew Murray was romantic. 244 00:10:27,684 --> 00:10:29,088 He doesn't show it, 245 00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:32,275 but when you press him, it comes oozing out. 246 00:10:32,277 --> 00:10:34,824 Oh, you should hear the vows he's writing for me. 247 00:10:34,826 --> 00:10:36,307 What did he say? I got to hear. I got to hear. 248 00:10:36,309 --> 00:10:39,596 It was a private moment. I-I don't really remember what was said... 249 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,137 - Oh, fair enough. - But it was definitely this. 250 00:10:43,074 --> 00:10:47,699 "I bet we've been together for a million years. 251 00:10:48,598 --> 00:10:52,871 And I bet we'll be together for a million more. 252 00:10:53,738 --> 00:10:57,775 It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed." 253 00:10:57,777 --> 00:10:58,676 Hmm. 254 00:10:58,678 --> 00:10:59,691 What? 255 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,180 It's just that... Have you seen "Family Ties"? 256 00:11:02,182 --> 00:11:04,072 It's a hit TV show. 257 00:11:04,074 --> 00:11:06,417 Insanely popular. Michael J. Fox? 258 00:11:06,419 --> 00:11:07,721 Where are you going with this? 259 00:11:07,723 --> 00:11:10,846 I think that Murray's vows 260 00:11:10,848 --> 00:11:13,574 may share a few similarities with... 261 00:11:13,827 --> 00:11:16,033 A very famous theme song. 262 00:11:16,035 --> 00:11:19,212 What? No. You are so way off. 263 00:11:19,214 --> 00:11:23,848 You're right. But did his vows happen to end with "sha-la-la-la"? 264 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,129 - You should go. - I should go. 265 00:11:30,332 --> 00:11:32,488 Even though my brother 266 00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:35,424 let Lainey Yoko Ono her way into our band, 267 00:11:35,426 --> 00:11:37,810 I was still clinging to our original dream. 268 00:11:37,812 --> 00:11:40,221 That is, until I heard this. 269 00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:06,603 Stop! Stop! 270 00:12:07,112 --> 00:12:08,411 What have you done? 271 00:12:08,413 --> 00:12:09,929 Where's my drum set? 272 00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:11,291 There are no drums, bro. 273 00:12:11,293 --> 00:12:13,199 Here. You can ding the little triangle. 274 00:12:13,201 --> 00:12:15,385 I don't want to ding a triangle. 275 00:12:15,387 --> 00:12:17,606 - Just ding the damn triangle! - Never! 276 00:12:17,608 --> 00:12:19,822 Triangles? Candles? 277 00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:22,518 That's girl-band stuff. We're not a girl band. 278 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,275 Says the guy wearing the lady's wig. 279 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,525 For your information, we're trying to be Dee Snider. 280 00:12:27,527 --> 00:12:29,189 - Who's she? - Never heard of him. 281 00:12:29,191 --> 00:12:30,463 Or his awesome music. 282 00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:32,525 What happened to you, man? 283 00:12:32,527 --> 00:12:36,027 It used to be about the music and the mansion and Chuck Norris. 284 00:12:36,809 --> 00:12:38,049 You've changed. 285 00:12:38,051 --> 00:12:40,080 No. I evolved. 286 00:12:40,082 --> 00:12:42,330 You're the one who's stuck in the same place. 287 00:12:42,332 --> 00:12:44,697 I just... like being a team. 288 00:12:45,302 --> 00:12:46,718 Guess that's over now. 289 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,832 That... 290 00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:53,334 Was a bummer, but, hey. 291 00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:55,746 It's show business, not show friends, am I right? 292 00:12:55,748 --> 00:12:57,504 Speaking of that, we had a band meeting. 293 00:12:57,506 --> 00:12:58,793 - When? - Just now. 294 00:12:58,795 --> 00:13:01,285 - And we're gonna have to ask you to leave. - What are you talking about? 295 00:13:01,287 --> 00:13:04,421 You're out of the band. You keep winking at Lainey and staring at Lainey. 296 00:13:04,423 --> 00:13:06,801 - And one time, I saw you smell Lainey. - Wait. What? 297 00:13:06,803 --> 00:13:09,087 You're throwing me out of my own band? You can't do that. 298 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,340 We just did. 299 00:13:13,106 --> 00:13:14,592 Wait. Barry. 300 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,710 Yeah? 301 00:13:16,127 --> 00:13:18,027 Leave the triangle. 302 00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:20,389 It was 6:00 P.M. sharp. 303 00:13:20,391 --> 00:13:23,275 As always, my dad dropped his pants off from work. 304 00:13:23,277 --> 00:13:24,577 Little did he know, 305 00:13:24,579 --> 00:13:27,171 my mom was about to drop a bomb on him. 306 00:13:31,528 --> 00:13:32,731 Wow. 307 00:13:32,733 --> 00:13:35,525 Shrimp parm. What's the occasion? 308 00:13:35,527 --> 00:13:37,197 Oh, just a little thank-you 309 00:13:37,199 --> 00:13:41,135 for all you're doing to make our renewal so magical. 310 00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:43,408 Well, it's mostly you, 311 00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:45,182 but I do deserve some credit. 312 00:13:45,184 --> 00:13:48,635 Gosh, I just can't stop thinking about those vows of yours. 313 00:13:48,637 --> 00:13:50,977 How did you come up with such beautiful words? 314 00:13:50,979 --> 00:13:54,340 Well, I thought, "I wish we'd been together for a million years." 315 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,137 - And? - And... 316 00:13:57,139 --> 00:14:00,111 "I wish we could be together for a million more." 317 00:14:00,113 --> 00:14:01,369 That... that... 2 million! 318 00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:05,301 Wow. That is so touching and from the heart. 319 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:09,010 Maybe I should share my vows with you. Would you like that? 320 00:14:09,012 --> 00:14:11,205 Uh... surprise me on the day. 321 00:14:11,207 --> 00:14:13,400 No. No, no, no, no. I insist. 322 00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:16,152 You take the good. 323 00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,154 You take the bad. 324 00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:19,756 You take them both, 325 00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:22,425 and then you have the Facts Of Life. 326 00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:23,209 Oh, boy. 327 00:14:23,211 --> 00:14:25,979 The Facts Of Life! 328 00:14:25,981 --> 00:14:27,614 Okay. 329 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,499 Clearly, you're angry. 330 00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,901 And I'm willing to take some of the blame... 331 00:14:31,903 --> 00:14:32,952 Up to 30%. 332 00:14:32,954 --> 00:14:35,893 How hard is it for you to say you love me? 333 00:14:35,895 --> 00:14:38,432 What do you want from me? Nothing rhymes with Beverly. 334 00:14:38,434 --> 00:14:40,260 It doesn't have to rhyme. 335 00:14:40,262 --> 00:14:40,979 It... you know what? 336 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,413 Don't even bother with the vows. I'm canceling it. 337 00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:44,764 Oh, don't do that. 338 00:14:44,766 --> 00:14:45,965 I mean it. 339 00:14:45,975 --> 00:14:48,174 We are never getting married again... ever. 340 00:14:48,176 --> 00:14:50,719 Fine. The whole thing was just a big excuse 341 00:14:50,721 --> 00:14:52,354 to throw yourself a party, anyway. 342 00:14:52,356 --> 00:14:55,463 Yes, I wanted to be treated like a princess, 343 00:14:55,465 --> 00:14:57,476 because all I do around here 344 00:14:57,478 --> 00:15:00,950 is cook and clean all... day... long. 345 00:15:00,952 --> 00:15:03,457 But you know what I really wanted? 346 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:08,777 I just wanted to hear you talk about how much you love me. 347 00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:15,236 My mom wasn't the only one feeling the sting of disappointment. 348 00:15:15,813 --> 00:15:19,486 Even the greatest musical instrument of the '80s couldn't cheer me up. 349 00:15:19,488 --> 00:15:22,127 - Since when do you play keytar? - Since I went solo. 350 00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,229 Like David Lee Roth with less jumping 351 00:15:24,231 --> 00:15:26,197 'cause of my ingrown toenail. 352 00:15:26,199 --> 00:15:28,354 I'm kind of on my own, too. 353 00:15:28,356 --> 00:15:32,439 - They kicked me out of the band. - Oh, doesn't feel good, does it, you putz? 354 00:15:32,441 --> 00:15:35,018 All right. Listen. 355 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:37,856 I'll admit I got blinded by love. 356 00:15:37,858 --> 00:15:39,233 But I'm back now. 357 00:15:39,235 --> 00:15:41,536 - I don't know, man. - Come on. 358 00:15:41,538 --> 00:15:43,229 I got no band without my drummer. 359 00:15:43,231 --> 00:15:46,307 In one day, we went through the whole cycle of a band... 360 00:15:46,309 --> 00:15:50,121 The fight, the breakup, and now the reunion. 361 00:15:51,012 --> 00:15:53,150 You know, even though my mom canceled our gig, 362 00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:55,744 we're amazing enough to still become a female supergroup. 363 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,752 For sure. Let's get famous. 364 00:15:57,754 --> 00:15:59,369 Two, three, four. 365 00:16:10,549 --> 00:16:13,512 Get out of here! You two are kicked out of the band! 366 00:16:17,025 --> 00:16:19,025 Fine! If that's how you want to be... 367 00:16:19,027 --> 00:16:20,190 Hit it, Lainey. 368 00:16:23,045 --> 00:16:24,973 It was an epic battle of the bands. 369 00:16:24,975 --> 00:16:26,646 Twisted Sister vs. Sister. 370 00:16:26,648 --> 00:16:28,465 And even though they were different styles, 371 00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:32,469 sometimes, music melds together into one glorious mash-up. 372 00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:36,411 Enough! 373 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,723 This was not one of those times. 374 00:16:39,945 --> 00:16:41,278 Go practice somewhere else! 375 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,752 No! This garage belongs to us! 376 00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:46,032 I'm sorry, Lainey, but at this point in my career, 377 00:16:46,034 --> 00:16:47,400 I have to put the music first. 378 00:16:47,402 --> 00:16:49,736 Barry, what are you talking about? 379 00:16:49,738 --> 00:16:53,621 I'm talking about what happened between us and our tongues. 380 00:16:53,623 --> 00:16:55,759 Why do you deny our night of passion? 381 00:16:55,761 --> 00:16:58,178 Uh... how much more obvious can I be? 382 00:16:58,180 --> 00:16:59,905 We're not a thing. 383 00:16:59,907 --> 00:17:02,424 - But... - Look, I just don't like you that way. 384 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,348 What's going on? 385 00:17:16,350 --> 00:17:18,176 Nothing. Just turn it off. 386 00:17:18,178 --> 00:17:20,312 Hey. 387 00:17:20,314 --> 00:17:22,746 You set the alarm to watch the wedding. 388 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,078 Don't not watch it because you're pissed at me. 389 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,513 Just leave me alone. 390 00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:33,580 What the hell are you doing? 391 00:17:33,582 --> 00:17:34,799 Can't sleep. 392 00:17:34,801 --> 00:17:36,025 Look at her. 393 00:17:36,027 --> 00:17:38,416 She really is the people's princess. 394 00:17:38,418 --> 00:17:40,572 I'll never be anyone's Princess. 395 00:17:40,582 --> 00:17:42,504 My destiny is to die alone. 396 00:17:42,506 --> 00:17:45,199 What are you talking about? Why are you being a dramatic moron? 397 00:17:45,201 --> 00:17:46,520 I suck! 398 00:17:46,522 --> 00:17:49,213 I actually thought I could land a girl that's so out of my league. 399 00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:51,955 Hey. It's possible. Trust me. 400 00:17:51,957 --> 00:17:53,479 No offense, dad, 401 00:17:53,481 --> 00:17:55,518 but you just don't get what it's like to be me. 402 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,869 Come with me. I want to show you something. 403 00:17:57,871 --> 00:17:59,869 Look at her. 404 00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,705 Talk about out of my league. 405 00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:04,275 You're sitting through the ceremony. 406 00:18:04,277 --> 00:18:06,410 My God. All you do is sit. 407 00:18:06,412 --> 00:18:08,004 It's a problem, really. 408 00:18:08,006 --> 00:18:09,722 Shut up. 409 00:18:09,724 --> 00:18:12,316 Your mother thought it was low blood sugar. 410 00:18:12,318 --> 00:18:15,293 - Actually, I was just so overwhelmed. - Why? 411 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,601 Look at her. She's so beautiful and smart. 412 00:18:17,603 --> 00:18:19,621 I never thought I'd be good enough for her. 413 00:18:19,623 --> 00:18:21,388 Well, this gives me hope. 414 00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:24,875 I mean, you're awful, and you got mom, so... 415 00:18:24,877 --> 00:18:26,513 Can't give up. 416 00:18:27,447 --> 00:18:30,097 Sure, what Barry said was needlessly hurtful, 417 00:18:30,099 --> 00:18:31,644 but in that insult, 418 00:18:31,646 --> 00:18:34,246 my dad found a kernel of wisdom. 419 00:18:34,724 --> 00:18:36,699 Go wake up the other morons. 420 00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:38,443 You got a gig to play. 421 00:19:11,769 --> 00:19:13,268 Dad. 422 00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:15,347 What's going on? 423 00:19:15,349 --> 00:19:18,550 Turns out you get that perfect wedding after all. 424 00:19:34,209 --> 00:19:38,531 I'm not very good, uh, with vows. 425 00:19:39,282 --> 00:19:41,316 And, uh... 426 00:19:41,318 --> 00:19:45,336 God knows I'm not a prince. 427 00:19:45,338 --> 00:19:46,671 Um... 428 00:19:46,673 --> 00:19:49,709 The one thing I do know for sure 429 00:19:49,711 --> 00:19:52,084 is you are my princess. 430 00:19:52,863 --> 00:19:58,646 And I am the luckiest nobody in the world. 431 00:20:00,388 --> 00:20:02,388 Sha-la-la-la. 432 00:20:13,016 --> 00:20:16,332 Sure, we were far from royalty or Rock Gods, 433 00:20:16,334 --> 00:20:19,670 but that night, my mom felt like a queen. 434 00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:25,509 - Listen, about what I said. - No. 435 00:20:25,511 --> 00:20:27,945 It's fine. I get it. 436 00:20:27,947 --> 00:20:29,998 You don't feel the same way about me. 437 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,499 But I'll win you over. 438 00:20:31,501 --> 00:20:32,894 No, you won't. 439 00:20:32,896 --> 00:20:34,488 Yeah, I will. 440 00:20:34,489 --> 00:20:36,550 No. You won't. 441 00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:37,922 Yes, I will. 442 00:20:38,406 --> 00:20:39,748 No. You won't. 443 00:20:59,018 --> 00:21:00,855 Mommy, I have a question. 444 00:21:00,857 --> 00:21:03,419 So, Lainey's going to Ocean City over the weekend, 445 00:21:03,421 --> 00:21:07,600 and if you let me go, I will give you the best snuggies of your life. 446 00:21:07,602 --> 00:21:10,144 Get off! Don't touch me! 447 00:21:10,146 --> 00:21:11,949 God! You've got to stop wearing that wig. 448 00:21:11,951 --> 00:21:13,095 I keep thinking you're mom. 449 00:21:13,097 --> 00:21:15,261 What are you talking about? I look awesome. 450 00:21:15,263 --> 00:21:18,113 - Seriously, look at you. - Nope. Don't see it. 451 00:21:18,115 --> 00:21:19,661 Say "I have failed as a mother." 452 00:21:19,663 --> 00:21:21,713 I have failed as a mother. 453 00:21:22,592 --> 00:21:25,226 Adam, we're getting mohawks! 454 00:21:25,525 --> 00:21:27,525 sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 455 00:21:27,575 --> 00:21:32,125 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34326

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