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1
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Adult adam: This is my mom,
2
00:00:01,286 --> 00:00:03,453
Beverly Goldberg,a shoulder-padded,
3
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,071
Country-haired mother warrior
4
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,940
Whose top prioritywas always her kids.
5
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,508
Before helicopter momsand attachment parenting,
6
00:00:10,026 --> 00:00:12,711
She was the original smother.
7
00:00:13,745 --> 00:00:16,282
Snuggle bug,
circular motions.
8
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:19,268
We've had this discussion.
Just give it to me.
9
00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:21,069
See?
10
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,838
Feel that difference?
Make a bunny face.
11
00:00:22,873 --> 00:00:25,591
She was all over usfrom early in the morning
12
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:26,642
To late at night.
13
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,310
Who wants
a sleepover snack?
14
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,595
[ Chuckles ]
15
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:32,515
First one to fall asleep
gets their bra frozen.
16
00:00:32,549 --> 00:00:33,999
Why are you in here?
17
00:00:34,017 --> 00:00:36,219
She even found a wayto smother us at school.
18
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:36,973
[ Gasps ]
19
00:00:37,049 --> 00:00:38,562
- Mom?
- Don't mind me.
20
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:40,139
Soccer tryouts
are this afternoon.
21
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,274
You need that
to protect your special spot.
22
00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:44,076
I know what it's for.
Just leave.
23
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:45,811
But nothingput a bounce in her step
24
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,514
more thanplanning our futures for us.
25
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,316
Oh, this is just so exciting!
26
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,152
So many choices...
how are we ever gonna decide?!
27
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,621
"We"?
No, I'm deciding.
28
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:59,125
Oh, if it were your decision,
you'd go to Hawaii University.
29
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,426
Uh, whoa, whoa,
30
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,862
whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
31
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:05,297
They have a college in Hawaii?
32
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:07,900
How did they get
a school on an island?
33
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:10,369
Oh, my!
I got to check this out!
34
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,505
Aloha!
35
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,906
What's this?
36
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,942
A prestigious college right
in our hometown of Philadelphia?
37
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,244
Yeah, there's no way in hell
38
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:20,513
I am living at home
and going to Drexel.
39
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,415
Hear you loud and clear.
40
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,683
Hello, Drexel.
41
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,453
I'm Beverly Goldberg.
This is Erica.
42
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:28,587
I don't want to
build her up too much,
43
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,890
but she is literally
the best student
44
00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:32,591
that ever has been or will be.
45
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,160
[ Chuckles ]
46
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:35,561
Uh, besides having
a great personality,
47
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:39,298
she gets good grades, does
Meals on Wheels, Model U.N.,
48
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,701
and is a volunteer
swim instructor at the "Y."
49
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,503
For the love of God,
stop talking!
50
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,939
You're parading me around like
a Poodle, and it's embarrassing.
51
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,074
Honey, I'm your mother.
52
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,842
It is my job
to strong-arm people
53
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,444
into seeing
how amazing you are.
54
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:52,645
Look around.
55
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,214
No other mothers
insist on being so involved.
56
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,182
Betsy: Beverly!
57
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,017
But that wasn't true.
58
00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:02,822
Her name was Betsy Rubenstone,the other smother.
59
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,790
She was head of the PTA,Chair of the Fall Festival
60
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,992
and eight otherparent committees.
61
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,095
My mom volunteered, too,
62
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:14,133
but Betsy was just madebetter, stronger, faster.
63
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,401
Ah, Betsy!
64
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,236
Oh!
Mwah!
65
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,538
So, what school are you
thinking about for Carin?
66
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,307
She's already been
early-accepted to Yale.
67
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:22,575
[ Clicks tongue ]
68
00:02:23,142 --> 00:02:25,711
Today's all about getting
a jump-start for Michael.
69
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,781
- Isn't he a sophomore?
- It's never too early.
70
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:29,915
I mean,
he only has a 3.8,
71
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,717
so I'm pushing
the extracurriculars.
72
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,819
He's on the debate team, tours
middle schools with D.A.R.E.,
73
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,321
and he was just Riff
in "West Side Story."
74
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:38,157
Riff? That's... what?...
Like third lead.
75
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:39,625
Michael's too busy to be Tony.
76
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:40,960
He's swamped.
[ Sighs ]
77
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:42,962
He can't even be student council
treasurer this year,
78
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:44,663
even though
he always runs unopposed.
79
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,133
Betsy and my momhad been at war for years
80
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,135
over whose kids were better.
81
00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:50,469
[ Ding! ]
82
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:53,005
My little science wiz.
Isn't he amazing?
83
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,707
[ Coughing ]
She built it for him.
84
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,776
[ Ding! ]
Betsy was winning.
85
00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,246
Well, Barry's busy, too.
Um, he makes up rap songs.
86
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:01,781
They call him Big Tasty.
87
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,915
And he does karate
88
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:05,951
and plays harmonica
and basketball.
89
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:06,952
Barry made Varsity?
90
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,088
More like street ball.
91
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,557
He plays in the street
and in our driveway,
92
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,592
which leads...
to the street.
93
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,828
I'm not sure you can put that
on a college r?sum?. [ Laughs ]
94
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,630
It's a gray area.
Oh, you know.
95
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,733
Point is, though, he will be
going to an Ivy league school...
96
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,921
probably not Yale 'cause
I haven't heard great things.
97
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,037
Check it out...
Hawaii University!
98
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,807
It's real, and he said
they accept Americans!
99
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,074
[ Laughs ]
100
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:32,545
He's kidding! Oh, class clown!
Kids love him.
101
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,513
Sense of humor... it's such
a commodity in today's economy.
102
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,248
- Hi.
- Anyway, bye-bye, now.
103
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,083
What's the matter?
104
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,352
You're not going to school
in Hawaii.
105
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,322
It's surrounded by sharks,
and even if I did let you go,
106
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,623
it would be a stretch
because you don't have
107
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,091
a single club on your r?sum?.
108
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,259
Not true.
109
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,428
I'm founding member
of the Beat-box Club.
110
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,397
It's not official,
but that's by choice
111
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:52,998
'cause then we'd be sellouts.
112
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:57,436
[ Beat-boxing ]
113
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,239
Listen, I just heard
there's an opening
114
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,008
for school treasurer...
unopposed.
115
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,477
Think about it.
It's a guaranteed...
116
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:06,979
[ Beat-boxing ]
...Wi-in.
117
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,582
- So, I do nothing and automatically win?
- Yes.
118
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,484
- Nah.
- Come on. Name your price.
119
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,631
8 bucks, and I get to eat
in front of the TV tonight.
120
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,120
- Deal.
- Yeah!
121
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,622
I love politics.
122
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,457
I'm twisted up inside
123
00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:24,531
but nonetheless
I feel the need to say
124
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,131
I don't know the future
125
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:29,869
but the past keeps getting clearer every day
Sync & corrections by Alice | www.addicted.com
126
00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:32,503
Sync & corrections by Alice | www.addicted.com
127
00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:32,838
Back in the '80s,
128
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,506
you couldn't justlay on your couch
129
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,342
and stream a movieto your phone.
130
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,177
You actually hadto spend an hour venturing
131
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,513
to a wondrous placecalled a video store,
132
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,849
and it was awesome!
133
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,351
Let's just
make this fast, okay?
134
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:48,821
Pick a movie, and don't go
behind the curtain!
135
00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:50,222
The stakes were high.
136
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,724
If someone already rentedthe movie you wanted,
137
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:52,758
you were out of luck.
138
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,293
No!!
139
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:56,128
"Temple of Doom"
is checked out!
140
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,163
Some putz checked it out!
141
00:04:58,231 --> 00:04:59,498
Just pick any movie.
142
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:02,001
Look... "Rhinestone."
Rambo sings in it.
143
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:04,370
Does Rambo sing while ripping
a man's heart out of his chest?
144
00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:06,005
Doesn't say.
145
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:10,175
When you were out of options,there was one last Hail Mary...
146
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,644
the return bin.
147
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:12,978
If your movie was in there,
148
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,647
it was likewinning the lottery...
149
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:17,049
at least for an obsessivemovie geek like me.
150
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,118
[ Gasps ] Yes!
151
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:21,787
I am the luckiest man alive!
152
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,956
Yeah, we all have our stories.
153
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,825
Let's just get going.
Here's my card.
154
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:29,862
"Temple of Doom."
Overrated.
155
00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:31,497
You want to
see a good film, kid,
156
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:32,998
watch Bergman's
"The Seventh Seal"
157
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,000
or "Devil's Manners"...
that's my student film.
158
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,568
It's pretty much
the quintessential...
159
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,570
No, thank you,
and let's get going.
160
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:40,005
Uh, we're in a big rush.
161
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:43,676
[ Beep ] Yeah, you
have a movie out.
162
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:46,011
"Slap Shot." Overrated.
163
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:48,681
If you ask,
Paul Newman should not...
164
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,349
I did not ask you, and I know
I returned that movie.
165
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:51,650
Please check again.
166
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,585
I didn't realize
that my computer was Hal 9000
167
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:54,753
and it could change at will
168
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,689
and blast us
out the pod bay doors.
169
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,525
Nothing you say
makes any sense.
170
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:03,362
Please check again
because I am 100% positive
171
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:05,030
that I returned that movie.
172
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,832
You guys lost it.
173
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,500
Dad, I just want to
watch my movie.
174
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:11,003
Okay, how much do I owe you?
175
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,371
To restore your account,
176
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,040
you would have to purchase
the unreturned video...
177
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:18,077
[ Beep ]
...Which would be $59.99.
178
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,212
That's crazy!
I'm not paying that!
179
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,247
Come on. This is
the only video store in town.
180
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,716
It's not like we have a choice.
181
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,017
We do have a choice!
182
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,286
I am not leaving here
183
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:32,057
until you clear my account
and I get my justice.
184
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,793
[ Keyboard clacking,
computer beeping ]
185
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:38,430
- What are you doing?
- Just marking "Temple of Doom" as in stock.
186
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:42,601
Let's get out of here.
Come on, now, now!
187
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,872
- Is Mom here?
- Yeah, she just got home.
188
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,874
Damn it!
189
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,542
Don't mind me.
Just go back to your sandwich.
190
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:51,944
In that moment,
191
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,079
Pops saw that his sweet,little granddaughter
192
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,281
was actuallya master of deception.
193
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,918
There's my beautiful mermaid.
How was swim class?
194
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:02,821
Little Emily Goodman finally
put her face in the water.
195
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,757
Oh, you are an inspiration.
196
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:07,359
- Thanks, Mom.
- I'm so proud of you.
197
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,861
[ Sighs ]
198
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,264
"Swim class...
Thursday the 27th.
199
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,234
Emily Goodman...
face in water."
200
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,971
Uh-oh, I'm looking at some
pretty shady stuff here,
201
00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:20,906
and I know shady.
202
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,541
Okay.
203
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,344
I'm gonna let you in on a secret
that's so gigantic
204
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:28,647
that it could rock this family
to its very core.
205
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,482
- Maybe I shouldn't...
- Here it is.
206
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,418
I've never taught a swimming
lesson in my entire life,
207
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,553
I don't do Model U.N.
or Meals on Wheels,
208
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,655
and it feels so good
to finally tell someone!
209
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,091
Wait.
You scammed your mom?
210
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,726
That's very risky.
211
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,962
How has she not been
at one of your swim lessons?
212
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,764
I specifically chose
the YMCA pool
213
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,433
'cause she hates it.
214
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:51,136
- It's so humid, it makes her hair frizz.
- And the Model U.N. thingy?
215
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,604
I swore I'd quit
if she showed up,
216
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:54,432
and she knows better
than to call that bluff.
217
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,008
But how did you get
in the yearbook?
218
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,810
Turns outmy sister's desperation
219
00:07:57,877 --> 00:08:00,746
spawned a new invention...
220
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,047
The photo bomb.
221
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,316
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
222
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,921
And I thought she was good.
223
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,723
She is, but I'm better.
224
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,524
And I have to be,
'cause if she ever finds out,
225
00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:13,859
she'll kill us both.
226
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,261
- Why am I getting killed?
- 'Cause you're in on it with me.
227
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,396
Since when?!
228
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:19,198
Since I just told you!
229
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:20,399
How did this happen?
230
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,401
I just came here
to have a pastrami sandwich!
231
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:25,037
You better come clean with your
mother before she finds out.
232
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,506
Or I fake-join
the debate club
233
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,308
and create
a whole other level of lies!
234
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,076
Thanks, Pops!
You're the best!
235
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,064
[ Gasps ]
236
00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:36,974
Finally! There's my baby.
237
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,218
[ Sniffs ]
What's that weird smell?
238
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:40,519
That's the smell of clean.
239
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,721
You're free to start
reversing the process now.
240
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,823
- How was school?
- Sweet!
241
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,825
Fed a sea gull a French fry.
242
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,994
We're not near the ocean.
How do they get there?
243
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,796
No, I was talking
about student council.
244
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,431
Oh, that. Yeah.
245
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,466
- Not happening.
- What?!
246
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,435
Michael Rubenstone
is running now.
247
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,737
You said this was a guaranteed
win and I wouldn't have to try.
248
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:01,340
- That's what I'm good at.
- Since when is Michael running?
249
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,409
He's already got a full plate.
250
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,743
I'm okay with it...
251
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,412
Mostly
'cause I don't give a crap.
252
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,047
You can beat
Michael Rubenstone.
253
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:11,016
I mean, what has he got
that my delicious boy doesn't?
254
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,351
Cookies!
255
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,586
His mom made them,
256
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:17,323
and they're the perfect mix
of chewy and crunchy.
257
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,124
Mmm.
258
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,260
Mmm.
259
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:24,229
Oh, so we're baking
political cookies now, huh?
260
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,800
You wanted war?
[ Chuckles ]
261
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,135
You've got it,
Betsy Rubenstone.
262
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,938
[ Sighs ]
263
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,841
[Bleep] That is good!
264
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:36,976
Good morning, guys.
265
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:38,877
Vote for Michael.
Michael for Treasurer.
266
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,379
You guys know Michael, right?
267
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,314
Betsy Rubenstone.
268
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,882
We need to talk.
269
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,184
Beverly!
270
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,420
Look at you pulling off
that outfit for the most part.
271
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,556
Cut the chitchat.
I'm on to you.
272
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,725
You said Michael was too busy
to run for treasurer.
273
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:53,759
Well, he found the time
274
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,461
'cause he has a passion
for politics.
275
00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:56,595
No, he doesn't!
276
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:57,897
All kids hate everything.
277
00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,999
He's only running
because you have it out for me.
278
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,467
Why don't I make Michael
drop out of the race
279
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:02,801
and give poor Barry the win?
280
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,904
No!
You leave Michael in.
281
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:08,274
I'm Barry's campaign manager
now, and we will crush you.
282
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:09,875
- I'd love to see that.
- Well, good luck.
283
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,183
- Good luck to you.
- Don't need it.
284
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,378
- Neither do I.
- Think you do.
285
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,612
- Think you do.
- Do you?
286
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,114
- I do.
- I don't.
287
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,448
- What?
- Just kidding. I don't.
288
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,050
Oh.
289
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,518
Things were really heating up
290
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,554
between my momand Betsy Rubenstone,
291
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:25,824
while back home my dadwas about to lose his cool.
292
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:30,462
Murray: Oh, what did you do
with the TV guide?
293
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,633
My father had found the videohe swore he had returned.
294
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,001
[ Sighs ]
295
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,637
So he did whatany honorable man would do.
296
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,640
Hide the evidence.
297
00:10:46,244 --> 00:10:47,513
What you doing?
298
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:49,348
- Nothing.
- Is that "Slap Shot"?!
299
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:52,151
Are you kidding me?
You swore you returned it.
300
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:54,353
You said
you were 100% positive!
301
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:57,523
I've never been 100% positive
about anything in my life.
302
00:10:57,591 --> 00:10:58,824
Whatever!
303
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,393
Let's just end this stupid feud
and return the movie.
304
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:02,595
Nope, dad is gonna teach you
305
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,030
a very valuable
life lesson here, okay?
306
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:10,002
If you never admit you're wrong,
you're never wrong!
307
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,338
Either you take that tape
back to the video store
308
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,406
or we got real problems, man!
309
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,642
- What are you getting at?
- You know what I'm getting at!
310
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,644
- I really have no clue.
- I don't either!
311
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,079
Just return the tape!
312
00:11:22,605 --> 00:11:24,606
As Erica spun her web of lies,
313
00:11:24,923 --> 00:11:27,025
pops tried to avoidgetting caught in it.
314
00:11:27,092 --> 00:11:29,494
Pops, pops, thank God.
Um, I need you to listen
315
00:11:29,562 --> 00:11:31,796
to this fake argument about,
uh, trickle-down economics
316
00:11:31,914 --> 00:11:34,015
in case mom asks me
about the debate team.
317
00:11:34,082 --> 00:11:36,517
You're writing speeches
for a debate
318
00:11:36,585 --> 00:11:37,885
you're not a part of?
319
00:11:37,953 --> 00:11:39,554
Yes, and we need to
make it good.
320
00:11:39,621 --> 00:11:41,289
No "we."
Stop saying "we."
321
00:11:41,356 --> 00:11:43,076
"Trickle-down economics
is a pejorative term
322
00:11:43,125 --> 00:11:44,525
used by
liberal-media hacks."
323
00:11:44,593 --> 00:11:45,960
This is crazy!
324
00:11:46,028 --> 00:11:49,530
Wouldn't it just be easier
if you actually did this stuff?
325
00:11:49,598 --> 00:11:52,433
I mean, it would look great
on the college r?sum?.
326
00:11:52,501 --> 00:11:55,036
Oh, it would, but I can't.
327
00:11:55,103 --> 00:11:56,504
[ Sighs ]
328
00:11:56,572 --> 00:11:58,873
I'm gonna let you in
on another huge secret.
329
00:11:58,941 --> 00:12:00,074
- No!
- Here it is.
330
00:12:00,142 --> 00:12:01,976
This is the opposite
of what I want.
331
00:12:02,044 --> 00:12:04,879
Back in freshman year
when I actually did Model U.N.,
332
00:12:05,197 --> 00:12:07,998
there was... an incident.
333
00:12:08,066 --> 00:12:10,634
It was my sister'sdark origin story.
334
00:12:10,702 --> 00:12:12,603
Back before Erica was Erica,
335
00:12:12,671 --> 00:12:15,573
she was an overachieving,first-class stress case!
336
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,875
Senegal? Really?
337
00:12:17,943 --> 00:12:19,643
Their main export
is the peanut!
338
00:12:19,711 --> 00:12:21,111
If I'm getting
a country in Africa,
339
00:12:21,179 --> 00:12:22,746
I'm getting Libya!
340
00:12:22,814 --> 00:12:24,415
- Erica?!
- I am Libya!
341
00:12:24,483 --> 00:12:25,583
- Hey!
- I've got every country now.
342
00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:26,984
Uh-huh,
that's right, Patel!
343
00:12:27,052 --> 00:12:29,653
[ Indistinct shouting ]
I declare a new world order!
344
00:12:29,721 --> 00:12:31,755
I was such a stress case
under so much pressure
345
00:12:31,823 --> 00:12:34,859
from Mom, Dad,
my teachers, everyone.
346
00:12:34,926 --> 00:12:36,794
So that's when I started hanging
out with the popular kids,
347
00:12:36,862 --> 00:12:38,382
and you know
what they do after school?
348
00:12:39,264 --> 00:12:41,465
Nothing.
They do nothing!
349
00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:44,401
They're never stressed-out,
so I quit all of it.
350
00:12:44,469 --> 00:12:46,170
But aren't you just as stressed
351
00:12:46,238 --> 00:12:48,305
trying to keep
this whole charade alive?
352
00:12:48,373 --> 00:12:49,807
Oh, yeah, it's way worse!
353
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:52,676
Then just apologize and go back
to being a weirdo again.
354
00:12:52,744 --> 00:12:54,511
I can't do that.
They hate me.
355
00:12:54,579 --> 00:12:58,916
Kiddo, sometimes you just
have to swallow your pride
356
00:12:58,984 --> 00:13:00,918
and ask for forgiveness.
357
00:13:02,888 --> 00:13:04,555
[ Bell dings ]
358
00:13:04,623 --> 00:13:07,057
Well, what have we here?
359
00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:10,594
Just take the tape,
and I no longer owe you $59.
360
00:13:10,662 --> 00:13:13,197
That is correct.
361
00:13:13,265 --> 00:13:14,965
[ Keyboard clacking ]
You now owe me...
362
00:13:15,033 --> 00:13:18,269
[ Beep ]
...$106.75.
363
00:13:18,336 --> 00:13:19,603
What are you talking about?
That's crazy.
364
00:13:19,671 --> 00:13:25,442
Late fees... 61 days overdue
times $1.75, and let's see.
365
00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:28,679
Yes, definitely...
a $2 rewind fee.
366
00:13:28,747 --> 00:13:30,114
- Just give me the movie.
- No.
367
00:13:30,181 --> 00:13:31,421
- Come on. Give me the movie.
- No.
368
00:13:31,449 --> 00:13:32,516
No!
369
00:13:33,084 --> 00:13:35,319
Okay, that's it.
I ban you from Video Heaven.
370
00:13:35,387 --> 00:13:36,620
Oh, no, no, no!
371
00:13:36,688 --> 00:13:38,722
I ban you!
That's right!
372
00:13:38,790 --> 00:13:41,258
I am never
coming in here again ever!
373
00:13:41,326 --> 00:13:42,726
That's what I said.
[ Bell dings ]
374
00:13:42,794 --> 00:13:46,397
And "Slap Shot"
is a great movie.
375
00:13:46,464 --> 00:13:49,033
While my dadwas losing his battle,
376
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:52,036
my mom was determinednot to lose hers.
377
00:13:52,103 --> 00:13:55,039
Hi. Uh, can I speak
to Julianne Crump, please?
378
00:13:55,106 --> 00:13:57,474
Hello, Mrs. Stevens.
Is your daughter Kelly there?
379
00:13:57,542 --> 00:14:00,110
Okay, your son Kelly.
I'm sorry.
380
00:14:00,178 --> 00:14:01,412
Oh, you've already
committed your...
381
00:14:01,479 --> 00:14:03,714
your vote
to Michael Rubenstone? Huh.
382
00:14:03,782 --> 00:14:07,284
Okay, what can I do to
convince you to vote for Barry?
383
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,955
Yes, Erica is single.
384
00:14:11,022 --> 00:14:13,023
[ Door opens ]
385
00:14:14,091 --> 00:14:15,326
What the hell is this?
386
00:14:15,393 --> 00:14:16,994
[ Gasps ]
Surprise!
387
00:14:17,062 --> 00:14:19,463
Get it?
Vote for Barry.
388
00:14:19,531 --> 00:14:21,232
Barry. Berry.
389
00:14:21,299 --> 00:14:22,533
Barry.
390
00:14:22,601 --> 00:14:24,668
They sound the same,
and you're both delicious!
391
00:14:24,736 --> 00:14:27,104
Mom.
Kids like cookies!
392
00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:29,073
Why don't you
just bake some cookies?!
393
00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:31,842
Because "cookie"
doesn't work with "Barry."
394
00:14:31,910 --> 00:14:34,144
Well, this doesn't work either!
395
00:14:34,212 --> 00:14:36,780
That's right!
I got berried!
396
00:14:36,848 --> 00:14:38,749
9th grade girls
threw them at me.
397
00:14:38,817 --> 00:14:40,417
There's supposed
to be a hierarchy.
398
00:14:40,485 --> 00:14:42,520
They ignored the hierarchy!
399
00:14:42,587 --> 00:14:44,488
- I quit.
- You can't quit.
400
00:14:44,556 --> 00:14:46,690
We cannot lose this thing.
Not now, not ever.
401
00:14:46,758 --> 00:14:48,092
Why do you even care so much?
402
00:14:48,159 --> 00:14:50,027
I don't care.
Do I look like I care?
403
00:14:50,095 --> 00:14:52,630
[ Scoffs ]
Look how casual I am.
404
00:14:54,366 --> 00:14:55,666
I don't want to be
stupid treasurer.
405
00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:57,868
Do you even know
what a treasurer does?
406
00:14:57,936 --> 00:15:02,139
A treasurer is one of the most
important jobs a school has.
407
00:15:02,207 --> 00:15:04,341
You get to handle
all the money.
408
00:15:04,409 --> 00:15:06,010
So it does involve treasure.
409
00:15:06,077 --> 00:15:08,612
And you get to run
the student government
410
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,381
when the president,
the vice president,
411
00:15:10,448 --> 00:15:12,917
and the secretary all get sick.
412
00:15:12,984 --> 00:15:15,252
I want this job.
What do we have to do?
413
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,820
You just keep being delicious.
414
00:15:16,888 --> 00:15:19,690
Uh, let your campaign manager
deal with all the nitty-gritty.
415
00:15:19,758 --> 00:15:21,825
Here's your speech.
Memorize it.
416
00:15:21,893 --> 00:15:23,294
Okay.
417
00:15:23,361 --> 00:15:25,930
- But no more berries!
- You have my word.
418
00:15:25,997 --> 00:15:29,233
The next day,there were no berries in sight,
419
00:15:29,301 --> 00:15:32,403
but Barry was everywhere.
420
00:15:41,079 --> 00:15:43,681
Have you seen this? This is so
freaking embarrassing.
421
00:15:43,748 --> 00:15:45,316
Oh, my God, it's you.
422
00:15:45,383 --> 00:15:47,785
No, it's not.
423
00:15:47,853 --> 00:15:51,055
No. No, no, no.
424
00:15:52,891 --> 00:15:57,628
In what universe,
in what reality
425
00:15:57,696 --> 00:16:00,497
would you think
this is even a little bit okay?
426
00:16:00,565 --> 00:16:02,466
Just look
at that delicious face!
427
00:16:02,534 --> 00:16:05,569
That's a face you want to eat...
and vote for.
428
00:16:06,137 --> 00:16:08,239
Fired! You're fired
as campaign manager!
429
00:16:08,306 --> 00:16:11,842
- I have just fired you!
- You can't fire me. I'm your mother.
430
00:16:11,910 --> 00:16:13,410
Then I fire you as my mother!
431
00:16:13,478 --> 00:16:16,113
If you fire me as your mother,
then I have failed as a mother.
432
00:16:16,181 --> 00:16:17,615
Then you've failed as a mother.
433
00:16:17,682 --> 00:16:19,783
How dare you say
I've failed as a mother?
434
00:16:19,851 --> 00:16:22,286
You know what?
I bet that Betsy Rubenstone
435
00:16:22,354 --> 00:16:24,288
plastered posters
all over the school.
436
00:16:24,356 --> 00:16:26,757
If anyone failed as a mother,
it's probably her somehow.
437
00:16:26,825 --> 00:16:30,427
Wait, this was never about
me beating Michael, was it?
438
00:16:30,495 --> 00:16:33,430
It was about you beating Betsy!
439
00:16:33,498 --> 00:16:37,268
You always complain about
her being overbearing and pushy.
440
00:16:37,835 --> 00:16:39,403
You're way worse.
441
00:16:39,471 --> 00:16:41,572
[ Poster drops ]
442
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,706
I was so excitedfor my dad to get home,
443
00:16:44,774 --> 00:16:47,041
I could barely enjoymy algebra homework.
444
00:16:47,109 --> 00:16:49,644
What's in the bag?
Tell me it's "Indiana Jones."
445
00:16:49,711 --> 00:16:51,145
Even better.
446
00:16:51,213 --> 00:16:55,716
Who needs a movie when you've
got a video-game-machine thing?
447
00:16:55,784 --> 00:16:58,319
[ Chuckles ]
Are you joking with me right now?
448
00:16:58,387 --> 00:17:00,421
This is Atari.
449
00:17:00,489 --> 00:17:02,323
I have Nintendo.
There's a difference?
450
00:17:02,391 --> 00:17:04,592
Why are you giving me
misguided gifts?
451
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:06,327
What happened
at the video store?!
452
00:17:06,395 --> 00:17:08,763
We lost her, son.
453
00:17:08,831 --> 00:17:10,098
She's gone.
454
00:17:10,165 --> 00:17:13,201
I went in
with the best intentions,
455
00:17:13,268 --> 00:17:17,772
but things were said,
and now we're banned for life.
456
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,740
Whose life...
mine or yours?
457
00:17:19,808 --> 00:17:21,709
The video-store guy
wasn't clear about that.
458
00:17:21,777 --> 00:17:23,010
How could you do this?!
459
00:17:23,078 --> 00:17:25,112
You know how important
movies are to me!
460
00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:28,249
Well, I think what we have here
is a valuable life lesson.
461
00:17:28,317 --> 00:17:29,717
You know what's a lesson
that I've learned?
462
00:17:29,785 --> 00:17:32,220
Never count on my dad
to do the right thing.
463
00:17:32,287 --> 00:17:34,856
While I was a casualtyof my father's war,
464
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:38,826
my mom was finally gonnawave the white flag.
465
00:17:38,894 --> 00:17:40,161
Oh, hi, Bev!
466
00:17:40,729 --> 00:17:42,763
Love what you've done
with the hair.
467
00:17:42,831 --> 00:17:45,132
You make such brave choices.
468
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,602
Look, I come in peace.
469
00:17:47,669 --> 00:17:50,238
All this bad blood,
it... it's got to stop.
470
00:17:50,305 --> 00:17:53,307
Uh...
Barry's dropping out.
471
00:17:53,375 --> 00:17:55,910
- Of high school?
- Of the election.
472
00:17:55,978 --> 00:17:58,045
So you guys win.
473
00:17:58,113 --> 00:17:59,514
So unexpected.
474
00:17:59,581 --> 00:18:02,350
And yet...
I knew this would happen.
475
00:18:03,852 --> 00:18:06,087
[ Toto's "Africa" plays ]
Whoo!
476
00:18:06,154 --> 00:18:08,089
Whoo!
477
00:18:08,156 --> 00:18:09,924
Oh, winner!
478
00:18:09,992 --> 00:18:11,025
[ Laughs ]
479
00:18:11,093 --> 00:18:13,160
- What?
- Oh, no!
480
00:18:13,228 --> 00:18:14,562
Oh, my God, that must mean
481
00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:16,597
they really loved
the speech I wrote!
482
00:18:16,665 --> 00:18:20,067
Yep, I, uh... I definitely think
the speech helped clinch it.
483
00:18:20,135 --> 00:18:22,336
This is for all you out there
with overbearing parents
484
00:18:22,404 --> 00:18:25,573
with no sense of shame
or boundaries!
485
00:18:25,641 --> 00:18:26,707
Now, I don't know how this
486
00:18:26,775 --> 00:18:28,576
exactly ties
into being a treasurer.
487
00:18:28,644 --> 00:18:31,512
But I do know
if I can survive the berries
488
00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:33,781
and the pictures
of me being like this...
489
00:18:33,849 --> 00:18:35,750
Hurry, boy,
it's waiting there for you
490
00:18:35,817 --> 00:18:38,519
...then I'm definitely the dude
to lead this school
491
00:18:38,587 --> 00:18:41,322
'cause all moms suck!
Who's with me?!
492
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:45,426
It's gonna take a lot to take me away
from you
[ Cheers and applause ]
493
00:18:45,494 --> 00:18:48,329
There's nothing that a hundred
men or more could ever do
494
00:18:48,397 --> 00:18:50,631
We did it!
We really did it!
495
00:18:50,699 --> 00:18:52,300
[ Laughs ]
I mean, you... you did it.
496
00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:54,168
This has nothing to do with me.
497
00:18:54,236 --> 00:18:55,903
Gonna take some time to do
the things we never have
498
00:18:55,971 --> 00:18:57,405
- Congrats.
- Thank you.
499
00:18:57,472 --> 00:18:58,572
- Good race.
- It was.
500
00:18:58,640 --> 00:18:59,640
- I know.
- Do you?
501
00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:01,542
- I do.
- Drive safely.
502
00:19:01,610 --> 00:19:03,311
I will.
503
00:19:06,648 --> 00:19:09,250
My mom would have some toughcompetition along the way,
504
00:19:09,318 --> 00:19:13,754
but Beverly Goldberg wouldalways be the original smother.
505
00:19:14,322 --> 00:19:18,159
And Erica was finally ableto embrace her original self.
506
00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:21,395
It's gonna take a lot to take me
away from you
[ Tap on door ]
507
00:19:21,463 --> 00:19:22,863
Hey, I know it's been a while.
508
00:19:22,931 --> 00:19:26,701
Um, I want to say I'm sorry
for everything in the past.
509
00:19:26,768 --> 00:19:28,202
But I'd love to be a part
of Model U.N.
510
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:29,403
If you'd have me back.
511
00:19:29,471 --> 00:19:31,439
You can sit next to me.
Pull up a chair.
512
00:19:31,506 --> 00:19:33,908
You want to be the U.S.A.?
No, no, no, it's fine.
513
00:19:33,975 --> 00:19:37,144
I was thinking...
Senegal?
514
00:19:37,212 --> 00:19:39,480
As for my dad, he learnedthere were very few things
515
00:19:39,548 --> 00:19:41,115
worth swallowing his pride for.
516
00:19:41,183 --> 00:19:43,417
But his kid was one of them.
517
00:19:43,485 --> 00:19:46,220
Don't talk.
I know I'm wrong.
518
00:19:46,288 --> 00:19:50,191
I know I'm banned.
But I'm not here for me.
519
00:19:50,258 --> 00:19:53,961
I'm here for someone who
loves movies as much as you do.
520
00:19:54,029 --> 00:19:55,463
But she hears only whispers
of some quiet conversation
521
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:57,565
Here. [ Sighs ]
522
00:19:57,632 --> 00:19:59,233
It's a video-store
membership.
523
00:19:59,301 --> 00:20:00,735
I'm banned. You're not.
524
00:20:00,802 --> 00:20:03,237
I've prepaid for 50 movies,
525
00:20:03,305 --> 00:20:05,873
which should last you
about a month.
526
00:20:05,941 --> 00:20:09,610
Hurry, boy,
she's waiting there for you
527
00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:15,416
Gonna take a lot
to drag me away from you
528
00:20:15,484 --> 00:20:16,917
Yeah
529
00:20:16,985 --> 00:20:23,357
gonna take some time
to do the things we never have
530
00:20:23,425 --> 00:20:24,625
Ooh, ooh
531
00:20:25,843 --> 00:20:28,243
Up next, "Rhinestone,"starring Sylvester Stallone.
532
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,661
Oh, "Rhinestone"!
533
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,463
I hear Stallone sings
in this one.
534
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,866
Is there nothing
that man cannot do?
535
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:37,068
No! He's Rambo!
He's Rocky!
536
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,137
He doesn't do country music.
537
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:42,274
Where's the remote?
[ Sighs ]
538
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,109
What the...
539
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,644
"Temple of Doom"?!
540
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:48,146
Didn't you rent that
a couple of months ago?
541
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:51,883
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
542
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,820
Oh, balls.
543
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:59,889
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addicted.com
544
00:20:59,939 --> 00:21:04,489
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41432
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