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1
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(Adult Adam) Every kid who
grew up in Philly in the '80s
3
00:00:06,678 --> 00:00:09,513
was obsessed with the Sixers,
especially my brother Barry.
4
00:00:09,581 --> 00:00:11,582
Basketball was his life.
5
00:00:11,650 --> 00:00:12,984
Where's he gonna go? Is he gonna go left?
6
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Is he gonna go right? Hook!
7
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Oh, and he passes to
himself off the backboard.
8
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Ah! Didn't count.
9
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(Thuds)
10
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Didn't count.
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He's on fire.
12
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You're bruising the plums.
13
00:00:27,665 --> 00:00:29,833
What do you think I'm
made of, fresh produce?
14
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It was his passion.
15
00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:33,436
- Dr. J rejects him!
- Barry!
16
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He was obsessed. It never stopped.
17
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(Clatter) Get that outta here! Yeah!
18
00:00:38,041 --> 00:00:40,743
He backs him down. He backs him down.
19
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It was hard to live with.
20
00:00:42,112 --> 00:00:44,013
You gotta get low!
21
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,883
- You gotta want it. You can't come in here soft.
- Gotta pee!
22
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(Grunting) Move! I drank a big gulp!
23
00:00:50,319 --> 00:00:53,320
My brother had one dream... going pro.
24
00:00:53,388 --> 00:00:57,025
Three... two... one!
25
00:00:57,092 --> 00:00:58,559
At the buzzer!
26
00:00:58,627 --> 00:01:00,962
There was more time left on the clock!
27
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He was misinformed!
28
00:01:03,465 --> 00:01:05,633
Then he found a way to
make his dream a reality.
29
00:01:05,701 --> 00:01:08,869
Mom, dad, I have huge news.
30
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If you'd follow me outside to the hoop?
31
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- No.
- Here's good.
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00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:14,074
What if I told you one day
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there'd be a piece of technology
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that can guarantee I play
professional basketball?
35
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Well, that day has come.
36
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,182
(Commercial fanfare
playing) The Reebok Pump.
37
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,884
A cushion of air around the foot
38
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that literally allows you
to defy the laws of gravity.
39
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,356
And the amazing part? It's only $175.
40
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:32,524
Don't say no.
41
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,993
- No.
- (Music warps and stops)
42
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:37,396
Honey, I've got a pair of
Reeboks upstairs you can have.
43
00:01:37,463 --> 00:01:38,214
Oh, really?
44
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,281
Can I please borrow
your beige mom sneakers?
45
00:01:41,349 --> 00:01:43,717
Listen! My dream is to
be a basketball superstar,
46
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not a nurse!
47
00:01:45,386 --> 00:01:47,588
Well, here's the thing about your dream...
48
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It's stupid.
49
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You have the money.
50
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Just get your pants and give it to me.
51
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Barry, your father's pants are not a bank.
52
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Money comes from hard work, you moron.
53
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You really want those shoes,
54
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:02,067
come down to the store and work for 'em.
55
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Fine!
56
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,658
But when I get to the NBA,
57
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and you want my autograph,
58
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I'm signing it, "Worst wishes... Barry."
59
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,731
(I Fight Dragons) * I'm twisted up inside *
60
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:16,535
but nonetheless I
feel the need to say
61
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I don't know the future
62
00:02:20,506 --> 00:02:23,419
but the past keeps
getting clearer every day
63
00:02:25,157 --> 00:02:27,892
It was October 5, 1980-something,
64
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,260
and while Barry pursued his NBA dream,
65
00:02:29,327 --> 00:02:31,162
I pursued a dream of my own...
66
00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,030
seeing the movie "Poltergeist."
67
00:02:33,098 --> 00:02:35,133
Please, please. I'll do the dishes.
68
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,135
No! You're not seeing that ghost movie.
69
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It's too scary for you.
70
00:02:39,004 --> 00:02:42,005
Come on! It's re-released
at the Dollar Theater.
71
00:02:42,073 --> 00:02:43,640
- A dollar! You love a bargain.
- (Chuckles)
72
00:02:43,707 --> 00:02:45,142
Forget it!
73
00:02:45,209 --> 00:02:48,311
Barbara Fishman's neighbor's
nephew saw that movie.
74
00:02:48,379 --> 00:02:52,048
Three days later, he had a terror stroke.
75
00:02:52,116 --> 00:02:53,984
- A terror stroke?
- Mm-hmm.
76
00:02:54,051 --> 00:02:55,085
That's not even a thing!
77
00:02:55,153 --> 00:02:56,953
You can see this movie.
78
00:02:57,021 --> 00:02:58,453
(Adam) "The great mouse detective"?
79
00:02:58,521 --> 00:03:00,756
(Singsongy) He's got a
little magnifying glass.
80
00:03:00,824 --> 00:03:03,358
(Normal voice) Ooh, take
pops. He loves talking animals.
81
00:03:03,426 --> 00:03:07,696
And here is a little extra
money for something sweet.
82
00:03:07,764 --> 00:03:09,631
Now how about a little
somethin' sweet for me?
83
00:03:09,699 --> 00:03:11,600
Mom, do we have to do this every morning?
84
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(Hands drop against sides)
85
00:03:12,969 --> 00:03:15,070
It's been four days since
I've gotten a huggie.
86
00:03:15,137 --> 00:03:16,971
I'm jonesin'. I need my fix.
87
00:03:17,039 --> 00:03:18,707
(Chuckles and gasps)
88
00:03:18,774 --> 00:03:21,676
Ooh...
89
00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,244
What are you doing? What is this?
90
00:03:23,312 --> 00:03:25,180
You wanted a hug.
91
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,448
Who hugs like that? At
least put some arm into it.
92
00:03:27,516 --> 00:03:30,017
- This is what I got.
- Oh...
93
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:31,251
Go.
94
00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:32,820
Even though my mom was being denied
95
00:03:32,887 --> 00:03:34,588
the affection she wanted,
96
00:03:34,655 --> 00:03:37,758
i wasn't about to be denied "Poltergeist."
97
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,059
Thanks again for bringing me.
98
00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:40,794
Of course.
99
00:03:40,862 --> 00:03:44,231
Popcorn, milk duds, a mouse detective...
100
00:03:44,298 --> 00:03:45,999
what's not to like?
101
00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:48,835
Um... (Dramatic music playing)
102
00:03:48,902 --> 00:03:51,104
the mouse stuff comes at the end...
103
00:03:51,171 --> 00:03:52,706
after the ghosts.
104
00:03:52,773 --> 00:03:54,574
I felt awful for lying,
105
00:03:54,642 --> 00:03:57,244
but how scary could the movie really be?
106
00:03:57,311 --> 00:04:01,448
*
107
00:04:01,515 --> 00:04:04,082
Turns out, it was scary!
108
00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:06,952
Really scary!
109
00:04:09,989 --> 00:04:12,991
Really, really scary!
110
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*
111
00:04:18,097 --> 00:04:19,998
(Audience murmuring)
112
00:04:20,066 --> 00:04:22,124
Where the (Bleep) was the mouse?!
113
00:04:23,703 --> 00:04:26,538
Okay, so you got your
love seats over there,
114
00:04:26,606 --> 00:04:28,540
uh, sectionals over there.
115
00:04:28,608 --> 00:04:30,475
That's a divan.
116
00:04:30,543 --> 00:04:33,078
Hey, Vic, say hello to my son.
117
00:04:33,145 --> 00:04:35,412
What? Little baby Barry?
118
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:36,814
Get outta here!
119
00:04:36,882 --> 00:04:38,515
That's a good-looking kid there, Mur.
120
00:04:38,584 --> 00:04:40,751
He must get it from his
mom! (Laughs) (Forced laugh)
121
00:04:40,819 --> 00:04:43,955
Where does Vic Jr. get it from,
Carl down at the loading dock?
122
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:45,522
Oh, man, come on! (Laughs)
123
00:04:45,591 --> 00:04:47,458
That's part of the job. We bust balls.
124
00:04:47,525 --> 00:04:49,793
Yeah, Vic. You sad old loser.
125
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:50,761
(Laughs) Hey, what?
126
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,603
You know what? He's new. He's new.
127
00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:54,538
Let's just get to work. All right.
128
00:04:54,606 --> 00:04:57,241
So this is what we do all day?
129
00:04:57,308 --> 00:04:59,476
- It's pretty cool.
- No, no, no, no.
130
00:04:59,544 --> 00:05:02,178
This is what I do all day, okay?
131
00:05:02,247 --> 00:05:03,780
You sweep.
132
00:05:03,848 --> 00:05:05,715
And then you move some furniture,
133
00:05:05,782 --> 00:05:06,882
and you sweep around that.
134
00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:08,684
I'll see you for lunch.
135
00:05:08,752 --> 00:05:11,120
Ah. I see what you're trying to do.
136
00:05:11,187 --> 00:05:13,055
You're trying to break me.
137
00:05:13,123 --> 00:05:15,891
Well, you can't break me, old man.
138
00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:17,660
I'll sweep your floor, and you know why?
139
00:05:17,728 --> 00:05:21,063
'Cause nobody gets to the
NBA without a struggle.
140
00:05:21,131 --> 00:05:23,097
(Exhales) Struggle away.
141
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,069
(Groans) Vic? A little help here?
142
00:05:28,137 --> 00:05:28,713
Hell, no.
143
00:05:28,772 --> 00:05:30,203
(Rattling, wind whistling)
144
00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:32,207
- Sure, I knew "Poltergeist" was just a movie...
- (Tapping)
145
00:05:32,276 --> 00:05:35,378
but when night came, it
seemed pretty freakin' real!
146
00:05:40,183 --> 00:05:42,517
(Cackling)
147
00:05:42,585 --> 00:05:45,053
(Cackling continues)
148
00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:46,688
(Cackling warps, fades)
149
00:05:46,756 --> 00:05:48,791
I just can't stop
thinking about that movie.
150
00:05:48,858 --> 00:05:50,492
It's really gone to my head, pops.
151
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:53,127
Aw, buddy. It's all make-believe.
152
00:05:53,195 --> 00:05:54,361
It's not.
153
00:05:54,429 --> 00:05:55,930
Ghosts are real.
154
00:05:55,998 --> 00:05:57,731
They're what keep the
Ghostbusters employed.
155
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,768
You got nothing to be afraid of.
156
00:06:00,836 --> 00:06:02,270
Now go get some rest.
157
00:06:02,337 --> 00:06:05,039
Okay. Good night.
158
00:06:05,107 --> 00:06:07,275
In my head, I knew pops was right,
159
00:06:07,342 --> 00:06:11,378
but the rest of me was
not gonna take any chances.
160
00:06:11,446 --> 00:06:13,514
(Button clicks, whirring)
161
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:16,883
Desperate times called
for desperate measures.
162
00:06:16,951 --> 00:06:19,420
(Whispering) Mom? I have a tummy ache.
163
00:06:19,487 --> 00:06:22,723
(Lowered voice) Oh,
sweetie. Do you need to make?
164
00:06:22,791 --> 00:06:24,792
No! But...
165
00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:26,492
Can I sleep here tonight?
166
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,227
Yeah, sure.
167
00:06:30,130 --> 00:06:31,831
(Glasses clatter)
168
00:06:31,838 --> 00:06:33,540
I had given in.
169
00:06:33,607 --> 00:06:35,508
For one night, my mom
would get the snuggles
170
00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:37,743
she so desperately craved.
171
00:06:40,311 --> 00:06:41,877
And then morning came.
172
00:06:41,945 --> 00:06:45,314
- How's the tum-tum?
- I... it's fine. I'm fine.
173
00:06:45,381 --> 00:06:46,682
I gotta go.
174
00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:49,285
See ya!
175
00:06:49,352 --> 00:06:51,720
(Scoffs) Okay.
176
00:06:51,788 --> 00:06:52,988
(Door opens) Oh, Adam,
you forgot your jacket.
177
00:06:53,056 --> 00:06:53,856
- Don't need it!
- (Door closes)
178
00:06:56,059 --> 00:06:57,792
"Poltergeist"?
179
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:01,462
I told him not to see
that movie. Unbelievable!
180
00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:03,631
He's scared.
181
00:07:03,699 --> 00:07:05,466
That's why he wants snuggies.
182
00:07:05,534 --> 00:07:07,401
Hey, if you're looking
for some snuggies, I...
183
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,736
You're not going to that party.
184
00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:10,571
You never let me do...
(Clenches teeth) anything!
185
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,219
Ugh!
186
00:07:12,374 --> 00:07:14,007
That's when my mom realized
187
00:07:14,075 --> 00:07:15,376
she had found the ticket
to all the snuggies
188
00:07:15,444 --> 00:07:16,977
- she could ever want.
- (Door closes)
189
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,414
(Door creaks)
190
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:27,154
Mom?
191
00:07:27,222 --> 00:07:29,756
You didn't put this clown here, did you?
192
00:07:29,764 --> 00:07:31,097
Yes, Adam.
193
00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:32,899
After running errands, cooking dinner,
194
00:07:32,966 --> 00:07:34,867
and cleaning the house, I had lots of time
195
00:07:34,935 --> 00:07:36,236
to futz around with a clown.
196
00:07:36,304 --> 00:07:38,238
Okay, okay. Jeez.
197
00:07:41,209 --> 00:07:43,843
(Suspenseful music playing)
198
00:07:48,949 --> 00:07:51,918
Mom? I have a tummy ache!
199
00:07:51,985 --> 00:07:55,054
Little did I know the
scariest thing in this house
200
00:07:55,122 --> 00:07:58,224
was lying right next to me.
201
00:07:59,536 --> 00:08:01,737
After a grueling week of manual labor,
202
00:08:01,805 --> 00:08:03,806
the day Barry had been
waiting for had arrived...
203
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,475
Payday.
204
00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:10,078
$33.27?
205
00:08:10,145 --> 00:08:13,314
Is this some sick joke?
206
00:08:13,382 --> 00:08:15,216
Oh.
207
00:08:15,284 --> 00:08:17,218
You're just busting balls, huh?
208
00:08:17,286 --> 00:08:18,787
This is a joke paycheck.
209
00:08:18,855 --> 00:08:20,689
I wish I was busting balls.
210
00:08:20,756 --> 00:08:22,223
Welcome to the real world.
211
00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:24,758
I know I made more than
this. Why is it so low?
212
00:08:24,826 --> 00:08:26,360
Taxes!
213
00:08:26,427 --> 00:08:30,097
You got federal, state,
social security, F.I.C.A.
214
00:08:30,164 --> 00:08:33,601
What are you talking about?
Those aren't real things.
215
00:08:33,668 --> 00:08:34,902
Did you ever go to school? Taxes?
216
00:08:34,970 --> 00:08:36,403
Those are totally real things.
217
00:08:36,471 --> 00:08:38,105
Just let me become a salesman.
218
00:08:38,172 --> 00:08:39,806
I can make more if I work on commission.
219
00:08:39,874 --> 00:08:41,643
You? You're not ready.
220
00:08:41,743 --> 00:08:42,810
There's a customer right there.
221
00:08:42,877 --> 00:08:44,144
Just let me go sell him the pink couch?
222
00:08:44,212 --> 00:08:45,813
It's a salmon love seat.
223
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,781
It's been there for five years.
224
00:08:47,849 --> 00:08:49,183
It's un-sellable.
225
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:51,218
I'm gonna move him over to the sectionals.
226
00:08:51,285 --> 00:08:54,154
You stay over here and
continue your fine broom work.
227
00:08:57,057 --> 00:08:59,491
Sir, just so you know,
228
00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:00,927
we have financing.
229
00:09:00,994 --> 00:09:03,462
Bad credit, no credit... no problem.
230
00:09:03,530 --> 00:09:05,932
Thanks. I'm not gonna make any
final decisions today, so...
231
00:09:05,999 --> 00:09:07,867
Today is not a day for final decisions.
232
00:09:07,935 --> 00:09:10,069
I'm with you. Take your time.
233
00:09:11,871 --> 00:09:14,106
- What are you doing?
- Sorry. I had a phone call.
234
00:09:14,173 --> 00:09:15,373
I didn't hear the phone ring.
235
00:09:15,441 --> 00:09:17,542
Oh, it rang. It was Ron Jaworski.
236
00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:19,611
Said he wants this couch.
237
00:09:19,678 --> 00:09:22,114
Ron Jaworski? The Eagles quarterback?
238
00:09:22,181 --> 00:09:23,548
Dude.
239
00:09:24,951 --> 00:09:26,417
- (Chuckles) Dude!
- Dude!
240
00:09:26,485 --> 00:09:28,620
- Dude.
- Dude?
241
00:09:28,687 --> 00:09:31,456
Dude. He literally just called.
242
00:09:31,523 --> 00:09:33,190
I want this couch.
243
00:09:33,259 --> 00:09:34,240
Mm... no can do.
244
00:09:34,434 --> 00:09:36,134
Ronnie J. just put this on reserve.
245
00:09:36,202 --> 00:09:38,303
What if I pay cash?
246
00:09:38,371 --> 00:09:39,337
Murray?
247
00:09:42,508 --> 00:09:46,411
You know what? I'll handle Big Ron.
248
00:09:46,478 --> 00:09:47,945
You, sir, have got yourself a deal.
249
00:09:48,013 --> 00:09:50,014
(Gasps) Thank you.
250
00:09:50,081 --> 00:09:53,250
No doubt about it. Barry was a natural.
251
00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:56,353
Meanwhile, I was still
dealing with the supernatural.
252
00:09:56,422 --> 00:09:58,055
(TV turns on)
253
00:09:58,123 --> 00:09:59,456
(Suspenseful music playing)
254
00:09:59,524 --> 00:10:01,191
(Static hissing)
255
00:10:03,928 --> 00:10:05,995
(Static hissing)
256
00:10:10,101 --> 00:10:11,268
(Shivering)
257
00:10:11,336 --> 00:10:13,404
(Door closes) Mom... (Panting)
258
00:10:13,471 --> 00:10:15,538
Oh! (Gasps) What's this about?
259
00:10:15,605 --> 00:10:17,807
- (Whispers) Tummy ache.
- Okay.
260
00:10:17,874 --> 00:10:19,959
Why don't you, uh, run upstairs,
261
00:10:20,144 --> 00:10:21,284
- and I'll be there in a minute, okay?
- (Exhales)
262
00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:22,326
It's fine.
263
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,240
Wow!
264
00:10:26,288 --> 00:10:27,795
(Groans) (Door closes)
265
00:10:27,978 --> 00:10:30,490
You scared me. That's not cool.
266
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,702
Not cool, huh? Why'd you
take the remote outside?
267
00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:35,671
It's not what you think.
268
00:10:35,739 --> 00:10:39,108
I think you're scaring
Adam so he'll give you hugs.
269
00:10:39,176 --> 00:10:41,044
It might be what you think.
270
00:10:41,111 --> 00:10:42,678
But is that so wrong?
271
00:10:42,746 --> 00:10:45,713
Yes, it's wrong! Very, very wrong.
272
00:10:45,781 --> 00:10:47,315
Well, it would have never come to this
273
00:10:47,383 --> 00:10:49,184
if I didn't have to beg for affection
274
00:10:49,252 --> 00:10:50,452
from my own children.
275
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:51,145
Here we go.
276
00:10:51,255 --> 00:10:52,788
I used to walk through that door,
277
00:10:52,856 --> 00:10:55,191
and you would all come
running and jump into my arms.
278
00:10:55,259 --> 00:10:57,927
And then you stopped. And Barry stopped.
279
00:10:57,994 --> 00:11:00,462
Adam's all I have left. And if he stops,
280
00:11:00,530 --> 00:11:01,930
no one's ever gonna hug me again.
281
00:11:02,177 --> 00:11:04,613
(Scoffs) You know I'm gonna
have to tell Adam, right?
282
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,281
Don't!
283
00:11:06,349 --> 00:11:09,083
Just one more night of snugs,
and I'll never do it again.
284
00:11:09,151 --> 00:11:10,418
I promise.
285
00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:13,735
I suppose I could forget
the whole thing if...
286
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:16,137
You let me stay out
insanely late this weekend.
287
00:11:16,204 --> 00:11:17,270
- Deal.
- Really?
288
00:11:17,338 --> 00:11:18,772
Please. Like you were gonna come home
289
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,240
- when I wanted anyway?
- True.
290
00:11:21,443 --> 00:11:22,433
I feel good about this.
291
00:11:23,011 --> 00:11:24,945
My mother wasn't the only one feeling good.
292
00:11:25,013 --> 00:11:27,014
Over the next week, Barry
proved himself to be...
293
00:11:27,081 --> 00:11:30,384
- (Telephone ringing)
- Not only a great salesman, but a real visionary.
294
00:11:30,452 --> 00:11:32,285
Mix the duck sauce with the hot mustard
295
00:11:32,353 --> 00:11:33,786
and dip your egg roll in it.
296
00:11:33,854 --> 00:11:36,022
That's crazy! Who does that?
297
00:11:36,089 --> 00:11:38,724
Just do it. You'll like it, you big baby.
298
00:11:38,792 --> 00:11:41,661
(Crunches)
299
00:11:41,728 --> 00:11:43,663
I don't like it.
300
00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:44,534
I love it!
301
00:11:44,552 --> 00:11:46,252
Hey, Barry, there's a woman on the phone
302
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,721
who said that you set aside
two nightstands for her?
303
00:11:48,789 --> 00:11:50,956
Yep. And set aside a
one-night stand for your wife.
304
00:11:51,024 --> 00:11:52,124
Wha...
305
00:11:52,192 --> 00:11:53,793
Just busting balls.
306
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:55,394
It's what we do.
307
00:11:55,461 --> 00:11:58,363
Come on. (Laughs) That's what we do.
308
00:11:58,431 --> 00:12:00,299
I'm home!
309
00:12:00,366 --> 00:12:03,002
(Both) Nobody bother me!
310
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,203
But my dad began to notice
311
00:12:05,270 --> 00:12:07,038
that success was changing Barry,
312
00:12:07,106 --> 00:12:09,140
and not all for the good.
313
00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:11,542
(Sighs)
314
00:12:11,610 --> 00:12:13,011
That's the stuff.
315
00:12:13,079 --> 00:12:14,612
What the hell are you doing?
316
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:18,316
Get out of my chair, go
outside, play basketball.
317
00:12:18,383 --> 00:12:18,916
Or something.
318
00:12:19,051 --> 00:12:21,085
Ah, screw basketball.
319
00:12:21,152 --> 00:12:22,591
It was a stupid dream. You were right.
320
00:12:22,722 --> 00:12:25,857
But furniture? That's where it's at.
321
00:12:25,925 --> 00:12:27,759
Oh, look at you!
322
00:12:27,827 --> 00:12:30,194
Ha ha! You're a mini Murray!
323
00:12:30,262 --> 00:12:32,063
Chip off the old block.
324
00:12:33,999 --> 00:12:35,699
He really was,
325
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:38,402
and my dad suddenly realized
he didn't like it one bit.
326
00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:41,939
So he decided to handle it
the only way he knew how.
327
00:12:42,006 --> 00:12:43,407
You're fired.
328
00:12:43,475 --> 00:12:45,309
What? Why?
329
00:12:45,376 --> 00:12:46,677
It's not working out.
330
00:12:46,745 --> 00:12:48,846
Yes, it is. It's working out awesome.
331
00:12:48,914 --> 00:12:50,613
You just can't randomly fire me.
332
00:12:50,681 --> 00:12:52,048
I mean, you have to have cause.
333
00:12:52,115 --> 00:12:54,851
Okay. It's 'cause you're a moron.
334
00:12:54,919 --> 00:12:57,153
No. This is not happening.
335
00:12:57,220 --> 00:13:01,157
In fact, I fire you.
That's right, you're fired.
336
00:13:01,224 --> 00:13:02,859
- Y... you don't have to go.
- No. No, no, no.
337
00:13:02,927 --> 00:13:04,627
You guys leave and come
to my store instead.
338
00:13:04,695 --> 00:13:06,696
- He doesn't have a store.
- Oh, yes, I do have a store.
339
00:13:06,764 --> 00:13:08,264
I'm opening one right across the street.
340
00:13:08,332 --> 00:13:09,765
He's not opening across the street.
341
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,867
- I just did!
- No, you didn't.
342
00:13:11,935 --> 00:13:13,502
(Bell dings) And Ron Jaworski's
really gonna go there...
343
00:13:13,570 --> 00:13:15,137
You don't know Ron Jaworski.
344
00:13:15,205 --> 00:13:16,949
And people are gonna
treat each other nicely.
345
00:13:16,957 --> 00:13:19,993
It's gonna be a friendly working
environment! (Slaps counter)
346
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,528
Who's coming with me, huh? (Pen clatters)
347
00:13:22,595 --> 00:13:24,396
You! Vic,
348
00:13:24,463 --> 00:13:26,832
I'm doubling your salary.
You work for me now.
349
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,100
- Wait, for real?
- For real, for real.
350
00:13:29,168 --> 00:13:31,336
No, he's not going with you.
351
00:13:31,404 --> 00:13:33,104
Toodle-oo!
352
00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:35,574
His store sounds nice.
353
00:13:35,642 --> 00:13:37,709
- His store isn't real!
- (Door closes)
354
00:13:39,739 --> 00:13:41,006
My dad was hoping
355
00:13:41,074 --> 00:13:42,641
by the time he got home from work,
356
00:13:42,709 --> 00:13:44,509
the Barry incident would have blown over.
357
00:13:44,577 --> 00:13:47,046
But in our house, things just blow up.
358
00:13:47,113 --> 00:13:48,714
You fired your own son?
359
00:13:48,781 --> 00:13:49,748
Oh, boy.
360
00:13:49,816 --> 00:13:51,550
Damn right he fired me.
361
00:13:51,617 --> 00:13:54,419
And you know why? 'Cause he's jealous.
362
00:13:54,487 --> 00:13:56,988
That's right. I sold the pink couch.
363
00:13:57,056 --> 00:13:58,556
And for a brief moment,
364
00:13:58,623 --> 00:14:00,758
you got to see what a good
furniture salesman looks like.
365
00:14:00,826 --> 00:14:04,362
This. Yeah. Soak it in.
366
00:14:04,429 --> 00:14:07,966
Okay. We're done yelling.
Let's all just calm down.
367
00:14:08,033 --> 00:14:09,433
Oh, I'm done.
368
00:14:09,501 --> 00:14:12,035
I'm done with you, I'm done with the store,
369
00:14:12,103 --> 00:14:14,371
and I'm done with furniture... forever!
370
00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:17,140
- What does that even mean?
- I reject all furniture!
371
00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:20,010
I'm going up to my room and
getting rid of everything.
372
00:14:20,078 --> 00:14:21,378
I'll never be comfortable again.
373
00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:22,361
(Exhales)
374
00:14:23,928 --> 00:14:25,830
(Wheels rattling on ground)
375
00:14:33,738 --> 00:14:35,304
What are you doing?
376
00:14:35,373 --> 00:14:38,408
Rejecting all furniture.
What are you doing?
377
00:14:38,476 --> 00:14:40,744
There's a ghost in the TV.
378
00:14:40,811 --> 00:14:41,978
That's just stupid.
379
00:14:46,716 --> 00:14:49,017
Thanks for sleeping over, pops.
380
00:14:49,085 --> 00:14:50,552
I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, kiddo.
381
00:14:51,001 --> 00:14:53,703
No man should have to bunk
up with his mom for a week.
382
00:14:53,771 --> 00:14:55,404
No man.
383
00:14:55,473 --> 00:14:56,739
But what happens when you leave?
384
00:14:56,807 --> 00:14:57,941
You can't protect me forever.
385
00:14:58,008 --> 00:15:00,709
But this watch sure can.
386
00:15:00,777 --> 00:15:03,545
My grandpa Irv gave me this
387
00:15:03,613 --> 00:15:05,681
just before I shipped off to France,
388
00:15:05,748 --> 00:15:08,417
and he told me as long
as I kept it with me,
389
00:15:08,485 --> 00:15:11,553
nothing bad would happen, and he was right.
390
00:15:11,621 --> 00:15:12,688
Boom.
391
00:15:12,755 --> 00:15:14,223
(Exhales)
392
00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:16,124
Thanks. I feel better already.
393
00:15:16,192 --> 00:15:18,894
(Voice whispering indistinctly)
394
00:15:18,962 --> 00:15:20,428
What the hell is that?
395
00:15:20,497 --> 00:15:21,697
(Whispering continues)
396
00:15:21,764 --> 00:15:23,732
It came from inside the trunk.
397
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,101
(Whispering indistinctly,
then deep voice) Evil!
398
00:15:26,168 --> 00:15:27,503
(Whispering) Beverly, what are you doing?
399
00:15:27,570 --> 00:15:29,738
(Suspenseful music playing)
400
00:15:29,806 --> 00:15:30,886
(Gasps) It keeps coming back!
401
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,222
(Pants) There's gotta be a
rational explanation for this.
402
00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:34,423
Of course there is!
403
00:15:34,491 --> 00:15:36,392
My toy chest is a portal to hell!
404
00:15:36,459 --> 00:15:37,759
(Whispering resumes)
405
00:15:37,827 --> 00:15:41,263
Aha! That's the explanation!
406
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:43,566
M... my walkie-talkie?
407
00:15:44,867 --> 00:15:47,235
- You!
- What's the matter, pooh?
408
00:15:47,303 --> 00:15:49,136
- Don't you "pooh" me.
- Don't you "pooh" him.
409
00:15:49,205 --> 00:15:51,539
There is a monster in
this house, and it's you.
410
00:15:51,607 --> 00:15:52,973
You're the monster.
411
00:15:53,041 --> 00:15:56,077
If that's what you really think of me,
412
00:15:56,144 --> 00:15:57,878
then I have failed as a mother.
413
00:15:57,946 --> 00:16:01,082
(Static)
414
00:16:01,149 --> 00:16:03,183
Well, you lied, too.
415
00:16:03,251 --> 00:16:04,751
I told you not to see that movie,
416
00:16:04,819 --> 00:16:06,286
and you did it anyway.
417
00:16:06,354 --> 00:16:08,988
And you shouldn't have let
him see something so scary.
418
00:16:08,996 --> 00:16:12,466
Not my fault. That movie
was wildly mis-titled.
419
00:16:12,533 --> 00:16:15,235
There was neither a mouse nor a detective.
420
00:16:15,303 --> 00:16:16,903
I hope you enjoyed the
hugs while they lasted,
421
00:16:16,971 --> 00:16:18,404
'cause I got news for you, woman.
422
00:16:18,472 --> 00:16:20,383
As of this moment, I'll
never snug you again.
423
00:16:20,389 --> 00:16:21,555
Ever!
424
00:16:23,985 --> 00:16:26,420
After a week of being
scared by my own mother,
425
00:16:26,487 --> 00:16:29,589
what I just said terrified her to the core.
426
00:16:29,657 --> 00:16:31,392
(Sighs) I can't believe I'm losing sleep
427
00:16:31,459 --> 00:16:33,559
over that damn kid.
428
00:16:33,627 --> 00:16:34,794
(Clicks tongue) (Sighs)
429
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,329
Adam's never forgiving me,
430
00:16:36,397 --> 00:16:38,531
but you could still patch
things up with Barry.
431
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,933
Just hire him back.
432
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,777
I can't!
433
00:16:41,936 --> 00:16:44,703
The last thing I want is
that kid peddling furniture
434
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,306
for the rest of his life.
435
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,673
I want more for him.
436
00:16:47,741 --> 00:16:49,207
Why didn't you tell him that?
437
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:51,143
Eh, he... he knows.
438
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,307
Murray.
439
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:53,742
Fine!
440
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:55,143
Fine.
441
00:16:57,013 --> 00:16:58,881
We're bad parents, aren't we?
442
00:16:58,949 --> 00:17:01,516
We're not great, that's for sure.
443
00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:03,318
But who really is?
444
00:17:03,386 --> 00:17:04,919
Well...
445
00:17:05,117 --> 00:17:07,852
Ah. The blond people down the block.
446
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,587
The ones with all the bikes.
447
00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:12,089
They're making it work.
448
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:14,893
Oh. At least we have each other.
449
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,295
Yeah, you can't scare me away.
450
00:17:19,531 --> 00:17:21,197
(Exhales)
451
00:17:26,538 --> 00:17:28,439
Here.
452
00:17:28,507 --> 00:17:30,608
I know you love Bill Murray
and you wanted to see "Stripes"
453
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:32,043
and I wouldn't let you.
454
00:17:32,111 --> 00:17:35,512
Um... it's playing at the Dollar Theater.
455
00:17:35,579 --> 00:17:36,980
Not interested.
456
00:17:37,048 --> 00:17:39,850
I hear they show boobs.
457
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:41,618
How many?
458
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:44,888
I'm sorry I scared you.
459
00:17:44,956 --> 00:17:47,958
But you were so warm and snuggy, and...
460
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,559
I miss it.
461
00:17:49,627 --> 00:17:52,795
I just need a hug, and when I don't get it,
462
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:55,898
I do bad things.
463
00:17:55,966 --> 00:17:58,367
Fine.
464
00:17:58,434 --> 00:18:00,536
One hug... a week.
465
00:18:00,603 --> 00:18:03,039
One a day, Monday through
Friday, weekends off.
466
00:18:03,106 --> 00:18:04,498
Every other day, two seconds max.
467
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:07,238
- Five seconds.
- Three and a half seconds. That's my final offer.
468
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:08,377
Deal.
469
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:13,148
(Whitesnake's "Here I go again" playing)
470
00:18:23,825 --> 00:18:25,593
That one's free.
471
00:18:28,130 --> 00:18:29,998
- (Knocks)
- (Barry) What?
472
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:33,034
Go away. Not talking to you.
473
00:18:33,102 --> 00:18:35,836
That's okay. I'll do the talking.
474
00:18:35,904 --> 00:18:38,305
Why? Did mom send you here?
475
00:18:38,373 --> 00:18:41,208
Of course she did.
476
00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:46,313
All right. Uh... when I was your age,
477
00:18:46,381 --> 00:18:49,282
my dad... he wasn't around much.
478
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:51,684
I had nobody looking out for me.
479
00:18:51,752 --> 00:18:54,120
So I had no direction.
480
00:18:54,187 --> 00:18:56,655
Boy, if I hadn't met your mother,
481
00:18:56,723 --> 00:18:59,291
I don't know where I'd be today.
482
00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:02,895
And then pops gave me a job at the store,
483
00:19:02,962 --> 00:19:06,532
and, uh, suddenly I'm a guy
484
00:19:06,599 --> 00:19:09,568
with a family and a future.
485
00:19:09,636 --> 00:19:11,836
What I'm trying to say is
486
00:19:11,904 --> 00:19:16,374
for me, selling furniture
was... was a big deal.
487
00:19:16,442 --> 00:19:18,243
But I want more for you.
488
00:19:18,310 --> 00:19:21,379
489
00:19:21,447 --> 00:19:25,316
so I keep searching for an answer
490
00:19:27,652 --> 00:19:29,886
Never seem to find
what I'm looking for
491
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:32,882
No... way.
492
00:19:33,055 --> 00:19:36,091
The Reebok Pumps? For real?
493
00:19:36,159 --> 00:19:38,193
I thought you said my dream was stupid.
494
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:41,496
Yeah, well, you're just
the moron to pull it off.
495
00:19:41,563 --> 00:19:43,864
Oh, my goodness!
496
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,801
The lonely street of dreams
497
00:19:46,868 --> 00:19:51,773
and here I go again on my own
498
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,376
going down the only
road I've ever known
499
00:19:57,111 --> 00:20:00,880
like a drifter, I
was born to walk alone
500
00:20:03,451 --> 00:20:06,286
and I've made up my mind
501
00:20:08,656 --> 00:20:11,692
I ain't wastin' no more time
502
00:20:11,759 --> 00:20:13,091
(thud)
503
00:20:13,159 --> 00:20:14,627
(Music stops) (Gasps)
504
00:20:14,695 --> 00:20:17,081
(Murray) Thank God he can sell furniture.
505
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,285
Welcome to my house.
506
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:22,087
*
507
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:24,122
(Grunting)
508
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:25,924
Ain't no one gonna stop Barry. Uhh!
509
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,160
*
510
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,259
Swish, baby!
511
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,831
Swish, baby!
512
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,500
Lefty. Lefty.
513
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:38,435
Swish, baby!
514
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:40,805
*
515
00:20:43,675 --> 00:20:45,508
Swish, baby!
516
00:20:45,576 --> 00:20:47,744
Basketball.
517
00:20:47,812 --> 00:20:49,345
*
518
00:20:51,982 --> 00:20:54,217
That was... that was fantastic!
519
00:20:54,284 --> 00:20:58,154
He... he made a shot from
the end of the driveway!
520
00:21:01,024 --> 00:21:02,324
Thank you.
521
00:21:02,325 --> 00:21:07,690
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
522
00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:12,290
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