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1
00:00:01,806 --> 00:00:05,969
Hot In Cleveland is recorded in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:09,283 --> 00:00:12,207
What are you doing?
That's Crisco!
3
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:17,161
I can't help it. I'm delirious
from cosmetics depravation.
4
00:00:17,162 --> 00:00:20,097
I rush-ordered some indonesian
rosewood oil last week,
5
00:00:20,098 --> 00:00:21,499
And it still hasn't arrived.
6
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:24,101
- The indonesian rosewood
is endangered.
7
00:00:24,102 --> 00:00:28,135
- I know. That's why the box
is labeled "auto parts. "
8
00:00:28,136 --> 00:00:29,898
- We're just going
to a wine tasting.
9
00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,664
It's not exactly
a photo shoot for vogue.
10
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:32,696
- Yeah, well,
what if someone
11
00:00:32,697 --> 00:00:34,361
Tips off
the cleveland paparazzi?
12
00:00:34,362 --> 00:00:35,828
- You called three times.
13
00:00:35,829 --> 00:00:39,059
He's not coming.
14
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,700
- Oh, elka,
have you gone goth?
15
00:00:45,701 --> 00:00:47,334
- I'm going to a funeral.
16
00:00:47,335 --> 00:00:49,599
- Oh, I'm sorry.
17
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:50,700
Who died?
18
00:00:50,701 --> 00:00:53,199
- I don't know.
19
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,966
Some guy, I guess.
20
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:59,840
My friend sheila
crashes funerals to meet men.
21
00:01:01,212 --> 00:01:03,112
I'm going with.
22
00:01:03,113 --> 00:01:05,115
- But you have max.
23
00:01:05,116 --> 00:01:08,117
- Just because
I'm chained to the fence,
24
00:01:08,118 --> 00:01:12,023
It doesn't mean
I can't bark at the cars.
25
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:18,431
- Good morning!
26
00:01:18,432 --> 00:01:21,101
- Great morning!
27
00:01:25,774 --> 00:01:29,343
- What else do you want
for breakfast?
28
00:01:29,344 --> 00:01:32,714
- I really don't have much
of an appetite this morning.
29
00:01:32,715 --> 00:01:35,516
- I don't either anymore.
30
00:01:35,517 --> 00:01:37,417
- Well, I better
get out of here
31
00:01:37,418 --> 00:01:39,819
So you women
can talk about me.
32
00:01:45,023 --> 00:01:48,258
- How cute is she?
33
00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:50,426
- Oh, very.
34
00:01:50,427 --> 00:01:52,995
- How cute is he?
35
00:01:52,996 --> 00:01:54,730
Wait, wait, wait,
I'll walk you out.
36
00:01:54,731 --> 00:01:56,665
That way,
you can frisk me again.
37
00:01:56,666 --> 00:01:59,835
- Well, you are
a "person of interest. "
38
00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:03,539
- Oh, I'll be so relieved when
the bad pun stage is over.
39
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,307
- It could be worse.
40
00:02:05,308 --> 00:02:06,676
You know,
we hardly ever see melanie
41
00:02:06,677 --> 00:02:07,944
Now that she's
dating pete.
42
00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:13,448
- Well, I have some earplugs
you can use.
43
00:02:13,449 --> 00:02:14,783
I had to buy a box of them
44
00:02:14,784 --> 00:02:16,618
Because of that owl
that keeps me up at night.
45
00:02:16,619 --> 00:02:20,288
- That's not an owl,
that's them!
46
00:02:20,289 --> 00:02:23,457
- Good lord,
she hoots like that?
47
00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:26,693
- I think it's him.
It's weird.
48
00:02:29,463 --> 00:02:31,296
- Isn't pete the best?
49
00:02:31,297 --> 00:02:34,299
- "owl" say.
50
00:02:43,077 --> 00:02:45,178
- What?
What's so funny?
51
00:02:45,179 --> 00:02:46,446
- It's nothing.
52
00:02:46,447 --> 00:02:49,450
You better get dressed
for our ohio wine tasting.
53
00:02:49,451 --> 00:02:53,153
- Oh, no!
I totally forgot about that.
54
00:02:53,154 --> 00:02:54,355
You know,
I promised pete
55
00:02:54,356 --> 00:02:55,789
That I'd take him
hiking this afternoon.
56
00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:57,191
- You're canceling
on us again?
57
00:02:57,192 --> 00:02:59,326
- I'm sorry. I seem to be
doing that a lot.
58
00:02:59,327 --> 00:03:00,494
But you guys
can go without me.
59
00:03:00,495 --> 00:03:02,229
- Oh, no, we'll just wait
till next week.
60
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,497
It's no fun without you.
61
00:03:03,498 --> 00:03:05,166
- Aw.
62
00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:09,437
- After all, you're
our designated driver.
63
00:03:09,438 --> 00:03:13,541
- Yes. I'm not gonna spit out
perfectly free wine.
64
00:03:13,542 --> 00:03:15,076
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
65
00:03:15,077 --> 00:03:17,713
But you and I are definitely on
for our movie tonight, okay?
66
00:03:17,714 --> 00:03:20,082
But can you guys blame me?
You understand, right?
67
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,685
He's just so cute!
68
00:03:22,686 --> 00:03:25,921
Outside, I stole a kiss
69
00:03:25,922 --> 00:03:29,658
And then he pretended to
read me my miranda rights,
70
00:03:29,659 --> 00:03:35,659
And then he said, "you have the
right to remain adorable. "
71
00:03:39,501 --> 00:03:42,536
- Hear that?
72
00:03:42,537 --> 00:03:47,007
It's the sound of us
all turning against you.
73
00:04:01,523 --> 00:04:03,891
- Don't get up.
74
00:04:06,394 --> 00:04:07,695
- Where is she?
75
00:04:07,696 --> 00:04:08,762
- I beg your pardon?
76
00:04:08,763 --> 00:04:12,366
- Oh, my god.
77
00:04:12,367 --> 00:04:15,736
Ms. Chase.
78
00:04:15,737 --> 00:04:17,337
My name is zack adams.
79
00:04:17,338 --> 00:04:22,208
Like yourself, I am a devotee
of the craft of thespis.
80
00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:24,043
- Shocker.
81
00:04:24,044 --> 00:04:27,279
- I am also a devotee
of honor st. Raven,
82
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:29,014
Which is why I am pleased
to give you this package
83
00:04:29,015 --> 00:04:31,250
From "indonesian
beauty auto supply. "
84
00:04:31,251 --> 00:04:33,518
- Oh, my rosewood oil!
85
00:04:33,519 --> 00:04:35,287
How did you get this?
86
00:04:35,288 --> 00:04:36,421
- The mailman brought it.
87
00:04:36,422 --> 00:04:38,824
I live at the same house number,
two blocks over.
88
00:04:38,825 --> 00:04:43,696
And it's almost as if the hand
of god was at work,
89
00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:46,298
Only it wasn't god because the
mailman does this all the time,
90
00:04:46,299 --> 00:04:49,136
And I think he smokes weed.
91
00:04:49,137 --> 00:04:50,971
- Well, thank you, zack.
92
00:04:50,972 --> 00:04:53,707
It's always so nice to meet
such an enthusiastic fan.
93
00:04:53,708 --> 00:04:58,712
- Honor st. Raven taught me
courage, determination, love...
94
00:04:58,713 --> 00:05:00,714
Even how to
survive a blizzard
95
00:05:00,715 --> 00:05:04,251
By crawling
inside a bear carcass.
96
00:05:04,252 --> 00:05:08,889
- "I never wear fur,
but this is an emergency!"
97
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:11,025
- That was during the writers'
strike, wasn't it?
98
00:05:11,026 --> 00:05:15,596
- Ah! The best six months
of my life.
99
00:05:15,597 --> 00:05:17,798
- Actually, ms. Chase,
100
00:05:17,799 --> 00:05:20,134
I too am in
a blizzard of sorts,
101
00:05:20,135 --> 00:05:25,906
And I need you
to be my bear carcass.
102
00:05:25,907 --> 00:05:28,008
- I'm intrigued.
103
00:05:28,009 --> 00:05:30,077
- We're in rehearsal
for our school play
104
00:05:30,078 --> 00:05:32,679
And I desperately need you
to help us not make it suck.
105
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,681
Even a word from you
106
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:37,885
Would be as rejuvenating as
the indonesian rosewood oil-
107
00:05:37,886 --> 00:05:39,820
Which, I might add,
you hardly need.
108
00:05:46,696 --> 00:05:50,098
- Look, I'm flattered,
109
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,467
But I'm not really
a school play sort of person.
110
00:05:52,468 --> 00:05:53,835
- But you have to!
111
00:05:53,836 --> 00:05:55,036
We're doing
romeo and juliet,
112
00:05:55,037 --> 00:05:56,438
Which I know
is the first thing
113
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:57,839
You ever acted in
in high school.
114
00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:58,940
- Well, that is true.
115
00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:00,375
- And our production
is doomed
116
00:06:00,376 --> 00:06:03,145
Because the soccer coach is now
doubling as the drama teacher
117
00:06:03,146 --> 00:06:06,615
Due of budget cuts.
118
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:07,983
- God, I hate jocks.
119
00:06:07,984 --> 00:06:09,985
- You were married
to a wide receiver.
120
00:06:09,986 --> 00:06:12,288
- I still don't know
what sport that was.
121
00:06:15,393 --> 00:06:16,660
- Please come.
122
00:06:16,661 --> 00:06:18,395
The man wants to put
the character names
123
00:06:18,396 --> 00:06:20,364
On the back of our costumes.
124
00:06:20,365 --> 00:06:24,402
- What kind of monster
is he?
125
00:06:24,403 --> 00:06:27,806
Zack, I will be
your carcass.
126
00:06:35,708 --> 00:06:37,809
- All acting is an art,
127
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:40,045
Whether some great work
on broadway
128
00:06:40,046 --> 00:06:41,713
Or a production of
romeo and juliet
129
00:06:41,714 --> 00:06:44,650
Right here in your little
school cafetorium.
130
00:06:44,651 --> 00:06:47,053
For why else would
victoria chase
131
00:06:47,054 --> 00:06:50,556
Be standing here before you
on this humble stage?
132
00:06:50,557 --> 00:06:52,558
Because, believe it or not,
133
00:06:52,559 --> 00:06:55,161
I was once where you are.
134
00:06:55,162 --> 00:06:57,864
Albeit taller
and with better skin.
135
00:06:57,865 --> 00:07:03,336
So dig deep and strive hard
to be a true artist.
136
00:07:03,337 --> 00:07:06,906
Because that is when
the awards come a'calling.
137
00:07:06,907 --> 00:07:10,576
And you had better be ready
because they are awesome.
138
00:07:13,747 --> 00:07:15,714
- Inspiring stuff.
- Ah, thank you.
139
00:07:15,715 --> 00:07:17,482
- Campbell, I see you smirk
like that again,
140
00:07:17,483 --> 00:07:19,751
I'll knock your block off.
141
00:07:19,752 --> 00:07:24,123
Okay, bring it in
and take a knee.
142
00:07:24,124 --> 00:07:25,491
Listen up.
143
00:07:25,492 --> 00:07:27,626
We got our first show
on Friday,
144
00:07:27,627 --> 00:07:29,027
And your parents
aren't paying
145
00:07:29,028 --> 00:07:31,930
To see a bunch of amateur
ragtime grab-ass up here.
146
00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:33,998
So let's execute!
147
00:07:33,999 --> 00:07:36,033
Hands in,
"shakespeare" on three.
148
00:07:36,034 --> 00:07:38,869
Everybody, know your lines
and be awesome.
149
00:07:38,870 --> 00:07:39,870
One, two, three.
150
00:07:39,871 --> 00:07:42,873
All: Shakespeare!
151
00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:46,209
- I see what
you're dealing with here.
152
00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:48,946
- Shh! Don't let him
catch you talking to me.
153
00:07:48,947 --> 00:07:51,248
He'll make me do push-ups.
154
00:07:51,249 --> 00:07:54,252
Boy push-ups.
155
00:07:59,025 --> 00:08:02,395
- Excuse me,
is this seat taken?
156
00:08:02,396 --> 00:08:05,164
- Oh.
Um...
157
00:08:05,165 --> 00:08:07,434
Sorry, I'm waiting
for my friend.
158
00:08:07,435 --> 00:08:10,103
- No problem.
159
00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:14,641
- Is this seat taken?
160
00:08:24,684 --> 00:08:26,084
- So that guy's
the bachelor?
161
00:08:26,085 --> 00:08:27,752
- For this season.
162
00:08:27,753 --> 00:08:31,123
- Looks like a guy
you want to punch.
163
00:08:31,124 --> 00:08:35,261
- Shh! They're about to start
the rose ceremony.
164
00:08:35,262 --> 00:08:41,134
- Do the women know
he's gay?
165
00:08:41,135 --> 00:08:42,669
Oh, big surprise.
166
00:08:42,670 --> 00:08:45,139
He chose the one with
the biggest breasts.
167
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:48,342
- And she's a paralegal.
168
00:08:48,343 --> 00:08:49,977
And they made
a beautiful connection
169
00:08:49,978 --> 00:08:51,712
That night he dated
those two other women.
170
00:08:51,713 --> 00:08:53,013
- Oh, yeah.
171
00:08:53,014 --> 00:08:55,349
Told them both
they were the one.
172
00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:56,516
- You know what?
173
00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:58,351
You're worse than
watching this with joy.
174
00:08:58,352 --> 00:09:00,453
Oh, my god, joy!
175
00:09:00,454 --> 00:09:02,155
I was supposed to
meet her at the movies!
176
00:09:08,929 --> 00:09:10,196
- Excuse me,
177
00:09:10,197 --> 00:09:12,565
It appears my friend
isn't coming after all.
178
00:09:12,566 --> 00:09:14,567
- Thanks, I'm good.
179
00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:22,543
- Coming soon...
180
00:09:22,544 --> 00:09:24,612
They were
as close as sisters,
181
00:09:24,613 --> 00:09:28,683
Until the summer that would
change everything.
182
00:09:28,684 --> 00:09:31,686
- If you don't have friends,
you have nothing.
183
00:09:31,687 --> 00:09:34,355
Nothing!
184
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,393
- My lips, two blushing
pilgrims, ready stand
185
00:09:40,394 --> 00:09:44,321
To smooth that rough touch
with a tender kiss.
186
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:47,678
- Good pilgrim, you do wrong
your hand too much
187
00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,313
Which mannerly devotion
shows in this-
188
00:09:51,449 --> 00:09:52,916
Barker, you're out
of position again.
189
00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:55,185
Drop and gimme 20.
190
00:09:55,186 --> 00:09:56,753
- This is
a waking nightmare.
191
00:09:56,754 --> 00:09:59,323
- Well, everyone's just
too scared to act.
192
00:09:59,324 --> 00:10:02,993
Except you, zack.
You are mercutio.
193
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:08,165
- This is my friend, gina.
194
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:11,802
My girlfriend, gina.
195
00:10:11,803 --> 00:10:14,438
- Really. Well,
nice to meet you, gina.
196
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,006
And are you an actor also?
197
00:10:16,007 --> 00:10:17,575
- Oh, hair and makeup.
- Ah.
198
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,343
- I keep telling her
I should have a beard.
199
00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:22,346
- Oh, I wouldn't bother.
200
00:10:22,347 --> 00:10:24,281
- All right, guys,
pick up the pace.
201
00:10:24,282 --> 00:10:25,949
We need to motor
through the boring parts.
202
00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:29,120
Actually, coach, I know
a couple of acting exercises
203
00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:30,488
I think might loosen
everyone up.
204
00:10:30,489 --> 00:10:32,791
- These kids
don't need loosening up.
205
00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:34,793
They need
a swift kick in the ass.
206
00:10:34,794 --> 00:10:36,428
- You know, I have worked
207
00:10:36,429 --> 00:10:38,063
With tyrannical directors
like you.
208
00:10:38,064 --> 00:10:39,898
It's not helpful.
209
00:10:39,899 --> 00:10:42,066
Performance
is a collaboration.
210
00:10:42,067 --> 00:10:44,636
- Lady, I'm just trying
to get to the sword fight.
211
00:10:44,637 --> 00:10:48,140
- Romeo and juliet is not
about a sword fight.
212
00:10:48,141 --> 00:10:49,607
- Well, if it was,
213
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,343
Maybe more people
would have heard of it.
214
00:10:54,513 --> 00:10:56,147
- You are
a terrible director,
215
00:10:56,148 --> 00:10:58,416
And I know a thing or two
about directing.
216
00:10:58,417 --> 00:11:00,652
I took a class called "a thing
or two about directing. "
217
00:11:00,653 --> 00:11:04,390
- Fine, if you think
you can do better, go for it.
218
00:11:04,391 --> 00:11:06,225
Just don't dehydrate them.
219
00:11:06,226 --> 00:11:07,326
We've had lawsuits.
220
00:11:07,327 --> 00:11:09,295
- No, but you d-
221
00:11:13,635 --> 00:11:15,202
- What's all that?
222
00:11:15,203 --> 00:11:17,706
- Oh, I told melanie
I'd do her brows.
223
00:11:17,707 --> 00:11:20,141
- I'm surprised you're even
speaking to her,
224
00:11:20,142 --> 00:11:21,509
The way
she's been treating you.
225
00:11:21,510 --> 00:11:23,378
- Oh, it's okay.
226
00:11:23,379 --> 00:11:25,447
So she stood me up
a few times.
227
00:11:25,448 --> 00:11:27,348
She has a new boyfriend.
I get it.
228
00:11:27,349 --> 00:11:30,018
- That's no excuse.
229
00:11:30,019 --> 00:11:34,689
In poland, the nuns had a
saying, "kur przed koguty. "
230
00:11:35,858 --> 00:11:39,128
It means,
"chicks before... "
231
00:11:39,129 --> 00:11:41,664
You know what.
232
00:11:43,601 --> 00:11:45,101
- The nuns said that?
233
00:11:45,102 --> 00:11:49,573
- It was no sound of music.
234
00:11:49,574 --> 00:11:51,575
- Right.
235
00:11:52,978 --> 00:11:54,713
- Thanks again
for doing this.
236
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,715
And again, I'm so sorry
about last night.
237
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,084
- Stop apologizing.
It's all forgotten.
238
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:00,485
- I just lost track of time.
239
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:01,519
Whenever I'm with pete,
240
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,754
I just-I forget about
everything else.
241
00:12:03,755 --> 00:12:05,322
Oh, did I tell you,
242
00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:07,925
This morning,
he said the cutest thing.
243
00:12:07,926 --> 00:12:09,059
Ow!
244
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:12,062
- Oh, my bad.
245
00:12:18,936 --> 00:12:20,370
Raw cookie dough?
246
00:12:20,371 --> 00:12:23,474
Did you finally get that
peruvian tapeworm you ordered?
247
00:12:23,475 --> 00:12:27,245
- No. The mule got caught
at customs again.
248
00:12:28,947 --> 00:12:31,083
Look, it's opening night,
and I need this.
249
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,951
- I thought everything
was going great.
250
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:33,986
What's the problem?
251
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,121
- The problem is juliet.
252
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,856
She's a lox.
253
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,625
When she dies at the end,
no one can tell,
254
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:43,161
Because she's been
so lifeless all along.
255
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,529
- Doesn't she have
an understudy?
256
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,030
- Ah, yes, theresa.
257
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,365
Remind me
to send her flowers.
258
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:52,002
She had her baby
this afternoon.
259
00:12:52,003 --> 00:12:53,471
God, what am I gonna do?
260
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:55,606
- Maybe your actress
is just scared.
261
00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:57,341
Weren't you scared
when you started?
262
00:12:57,342 --> 00:13:02,013
- Of what?
Too much adulation?
263
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:04,783
- Clearly it's hard for you
to relate to the untalented,
264
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,685
But imagine,
just for a second,
265
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,154
What it would be like
if you were one of them.
266
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,528
- Inspiration has struck.
267
00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:17,463
I know just
what to say to her.
268
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,999
Oh, victoria chase's
romeo and juliet
269
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,734
Is going to be a triumph!
270
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:24,637
Isn't it william shakespeare's
romeo and juliet?
271
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,272
- Uh, well,
I tweaked a few lines,
272
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,609
So will and I are gonna share
credit on the program.
273
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,579
- The wax is hot. Ready?
- Yeah, yeah.
274
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,581
Can you give me a little bit
of a higher arch this time?
275
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:36,582
Because I'm meeting
pete's friends
276
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,683
For dinner tomorrow night,
277
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,451
And I want them
to think I'm pretty.
278
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,054
Well, you know,
and smart and stuff.
279
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,857
- Tomorrow night?
- Yeah.
280
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:47,259
oh, joy! Oh, no!
281
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,593
Little Italy,
you and me, dinner.
282
00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:50,762
Oh, I'm so sorry.
283
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,264
Listen, I would cancel,
but it's pete's friends,
284
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:54,698
And you know how important
friends are.
285
00:13:54,699 --> 00:13:57,835
- Yes, if you don't have
friends, you have nothing.
286
00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,138
Nothing.
- Ow!
287
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:03,141
- Ooh, boy.
288
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:07,880
- What?
What did you do?
289
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:11,251
Aah!
290
00:14:11,252 --> 00:14:14,287
Where's my eyebrow?
291
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:17,992
- It's right here.
292
00:14:22,235 --> 00:14:23,402
- And exhale.
293
00:14:26,719 --> 00:14:29,354
Now, places.
294
00:14:29,355 --> 00:14:31,222
Where is my juliet?
295
00:14:31,223 --> 00:14:33,291
- Yeah, ms. Chase?
296
00:14:33,292 --> 00:14:35,060
- How are you feeling,
francesca?
297
00:14:35,061 --> 00:14:36,395
- Like I want to puke.
298
00:14:36,396 --> 00:14:38,263
- Ah, that's good.
- That's good?
299
00:14:38,264 --> 00:14:40,199
- Yes, yes. That means
you're afraid.
300
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,502
Now, do you know
what you're afraid of?
301
00:14:43,503 --> 00:14:45,204
- You?
302
00:14:45,205 --> 00:14:48,207
- No, realizing your dream.
303
00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:50,710
Because in that dream is
the truth about yourself.
304
00:14:50,711 --> 00:14:52,712
Now, I want you to
close your eyes
305
00:14:52,713 --> 00:14:54,314
And visualize it.
306
00:14:54,315 --> 00:14:56,583
Can you see it, francesca?
307
00:14:56,584 --> 00:14:59,252
- I think so.
308
00:14:59,253 --> 00:15:01,121
Yeah, I see it.
309
00:15:01,122 --> 00:15:04,992
- You are confident, talented,
owning the stage.
310
00:15:04,993 --> 00:15:07,928
Every line a triumph,
every gesture a revelation.
311
00:15:07,929 --> 00:15:13,468
You are a young-well, younger-
victoria chase.
312
00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:15,737
You are me.
313
00:15:15,738 --> 00:15:17,973
- But I don't
want to be you.
314
00:15:17,974 --> 00:15:19,608
- What?
315
00:15:19,609 --> 00:15:22,445
- No, that's not my dream.
- But francesca-
316
00:15:22,446 --> 00:15:25,481
- Look, I'm sorry,
ms. Chase, but we both know
317
00:15:25,482 --> 00:15:27,216
This play's gonna be
way better without me.
318
00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:30,319
- Oh, boy.
319
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,720
- Oh, my gosh.
320
00:15:31,721 --> 00:15:34,089
Thank you, miss chase.
321
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:36,525
I see the truth
about myself, too!
322
00:15:36,526 --> 00:15:38,259
And I just want to
shout it out loud!
323
00:15:38,260 --> 00:15:40,961
- Not until after prom,
you don't.
324
00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:49,102
- Now who's gonna
play juliet?
325
00:15:49,103 --> 00:15:52,506
- Finally,
it's zack's turn.
326
00:15:52,507 --> 00:15:53,874
I know all of her lines,
327
00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:56,610
And besides,
it's my wig anyway.
328
00:16:04,052 --> 00:16:06,320
- I think there are three
empty seats over there.
329
00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:08,723
- I'm not blind,
just disfigured.
330
00:16:08,724 --> 00:16:10,992
- Accidents happen.
331
00:16:10,993 --> 00:16:12,727
- Yeah, accidents happen.
332
00:16:12,728 --> 00:16:15,997
- A wise man once said,
"there are no accidents. "
333
00:16:15,998 --> 00:16:17,365
- That was freud.
334
00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:18,533
- I didn't get his name.
335
00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:21,336
It was just some old guy
I spilled my soda on.
336
00:16:24,707 --> 00:16:26,040
- Sorry.
337
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,241
- Oh, now you apologize.
338
00:16:27,242 --> 00:16:29,811
- I was talking to them,
not to you.
339
00:16:29,812 --> 00:16:30,979
Sorry.
340
00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:32,981
Still them.
341
00:16:34,116 --> 00:16:35,984
Look, even if I did
do it on purpose,
342
00:16:35,985 --> 00:16:37,686
On some deep,
subconscious level,
343
00:16:37,687 --> 00:16:39,159
I must have had
a good reason.
344
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,423
- So you admit it!
- I admit nothing.
345
00:16:41,424 --> 00:16:43,092
- Well, are you just
secretly upset
346
00:16:43,093 --> 00:16:44,293
That I have a boyfriend?
347
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,528
- Of course not.
- Then what's the big deal?
348
00:16:46,529 --> 00:16:48,597
- She's upset that you've been
ditching your friends
349
00:16:48,598 --> 00:16:50,882
just because there's a new guy
in your life.
350
00:16:50,883 --> 00:16:54,086
It's as obvious
as that hickey on your neck.
351
00:16:55,026 --> 00:16:56,493
- She's right.
352
00:16:56,494 --> 00:16:59,296
Aren't we past the days when
a guy comes into your life
353
00:16:59,297 --> 00:17:02,900
And suddenly you become
oblivious to everyone else?
354
00:17:04,669 --> 00:17:05,803
- You're right.
355
00:17:05,804 --> 00:17:07,438
I have been acting a little bit
like a teenager.
356
00:17:07,439 --> 00:17:09,607
But in my defense, the last time
I had a boyfriend,
357
00:17:09,608 --> 00:17:12,509
I was a teenager.
358
00:17:12,510 --> 00:17:15,012
I'm really sorry that
we've been in your face.
359
00:17:15,013 --> 00:17:17,792
- And I'm sorry I took off
part of yours.
360
00:17:24,282 --> 00:17:27,184
- So far, I hate it.
361
00:17:30,847 --> 00:17:35,626
- O, then, dear saint,
let lips do what hands do.
362
00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:42,691
They pray; grant thou,
lest faith turn to despair.
363
00:17:49,916 --> 00:17:54,199
- Saints do not move, though
grant for prayer's sake.
364
00:17:55,903 --> 00:17:59,874
- Then move not, while
my prayer's effect I take.
365
00:18:10,997 --> 00:18:14,960
- It's funny
'cause it's gross.
366
00:18:22,247 --> 00:18:23,358
- Oh!
367
00:18:25,443 --> 00:18:28,145
- Honey,
that was so great!
368
00:18:28,146 --> 00:18:30,280
- Best romeo and juliet
I've ever seen.
369
00:18:30,281 --> 00:18:32,215
- Oh, yeah,
a lot of laughs.
370
00:18:32,216 --> 00:18:35,852
- Oh, thank you.
371
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:38,455
Kelly mushlin proclaimed it
a "smash hit. "
372
00:18:38,456 --> 00:18:39,349
- Who?
- A tenth grader.
373
00:18:39,350 --> 00:18:42,753
She writes for the school paper.
374
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:44,727
- Wow, you seem so happy.
375
00:18:44,728 --> 00:18:46,128
- Well, I'm just so excited
to be back
376
00:18:46,129 --> 00:18:49,431
In the legitimate theater
again.
377
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:52,134
Um, I have
an announcement to make.
378
00:18:52,135 --> 00:18:55,170
Uh, the school asked
if I would stay on
379
00:18:55,171 --> 00:18:58,407
As the drama advisor,
and I said yes.
380
00:18:58,408 --> 00:19:02,044
- Are you serious?
That's wonderful!
381
00:19:02,045 --> 00:19:06,048
- I think that might
actually be quite fantastic.
382
00:19:06,049 --> 00:19:07,516
- What about your career?
383
00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:09,018
- Oh, if get offered a part,
384
00:19:09,019 --> 00:19:10,753
I am on the next plane
out of here.
385
00:19:10,754 --> 00:19:14,323
You know, in acting, we call
that michael caine's law.
386
00:19:15,759 --> 00:19:18,127
- Oh.
Oh, it's pete.
387
00:19:18,128 --> 00:19:21,730
He wants me
to come meet him.
388
00:19:21,731 --> 00:19:23,499
But I'm telling him no.
389
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,434
I'm spending the evening
with my girlfriends.
390
00:19:25,435 --> 00:19:26,835
- Ah!
391
00:19:26,836 --> 00:19:30,572
- Because nothing in life
is as important as friendship.
392
00:19:30,573 --> 00:19:33,542
- Or is it also because you look
like a hideous freak
393
00:19:33,543 --> 00:19:35,677
Without your eyebrow?
394
00:19:43,053 --> 00:19:44,620
- Yeah, there's that too.
395
00:19:44,670 --> 00:19:49,220
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