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1
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(knocking)
3
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- Mommy?- Shh, shh, shh.
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Don't wake up your father.
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- Mommy, I can't find my quarter.
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- Okay.
7
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Come over here.
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Let me make you some cereal.
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- Mommy, I lost my quarter.
10
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- You had a quarter?
11
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- It's my bicentennial quarter.
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Dad gave it to me.
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- All right, I'm sorry.
14
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Sorry.
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- Hi, Ma.
16
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- Shh, Pete, shh--
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You'll wake up your father.
18
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Get some milk for yourbrother's cereal, please.
19
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- Hey, Mom.
20
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Can I have Ronnie come to Easter?
21
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- Uhh, Ronnie?
22
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- My friend from my team?
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- Oh, yes.Uh...
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I don't know.
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We can talk about it.
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- It's just Ronnie hasme over his house a lot.
27
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You know, his family's really nice,
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but I've never had him here,so I feel kinda bad.
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- Easter's a big deal.
30
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- Yeah.
31
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We have people over for EasterI've never even seen before.
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Ronnie's my friend.
33
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- Have you seen my quarter anywhere?- No.
34
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You need a quarter?I'll give you one.
35
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- It's my bicentennial quarter.
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Dad gave it to me.
37
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- Oh.
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No.
39
00:01:49,768 --> 00:01:51,643
Mom, so Ronnie and I were thinkingthat we could--
40
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- Okay.
41
00:02:49,532 --> 00:02:50,908
- Dad?
42
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- Huh?
43
00:02:53,703 --> 00:02:55,870
- I lost the quarter you gave me.
44
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- Shut up now about the quarter, Horace,I told you, don't bother your father.
45
00:03:00,543 --> 00:03:03,460
- How'd you lose it?
46
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Stupid.
47
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- Can I have another one?
48
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- What, am I gonna pay you to be stupid?
49
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What are you doing over there?
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Get over here.
51
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Eat breakfast with your...
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children.
53
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- I was gonna see my sister today.
54
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- Since when?- I talked to her yesterday.
55
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- Didn't say nothing to me about it.- No, I--
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I'm gonna go there today around noon.
57
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So.
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00:04:06,605 --> 00:04:09,230
- The fuck are you--What are you doing?
59
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,899
- Horace...
60
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- You're staying right here.
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Mhm.
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You're staying right here.
63
00:04:19,576 --> 00:04:20,909
- Hey, Dad.
64
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:24,410
Yesterday was the hottest in recordedhistory for this day for New York.
65
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:33,794
- What are you smiling at?
66
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Don't smile, you gotta be a tough guy.
67
00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:37,257
You gotta be a tough guy.
68
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Come on.
69
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Are you a tough guy?
70
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:41,511
Huh?
71
00:04:41,597 --> 00:04:44,680
You a tough guy?Come here, come here.
72
00:04:44,767 --> 00:04:46,391
Come here, come here.You a tough guy?
73
00:04:46,476 --> 00:04:48,517
Come on.Come here, come here.
74
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Be tough guy, tough guy.
75
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Come on, let me see tough guy.
76
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Show me tough guy, huh?
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Huh?Come on.
78
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No, no, no, no.Show me tough guy.
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Mary Ann: Horace...- Show me tough guy.
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Show me tough guy.
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Come here.
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Mary Ann: Horace...- Ow, ow, ow!
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Mary Ann: Horace.- Yeah, there you go.
84
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Mary Ann: Horace!- There you go.
85
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- Ow!- That'll make you tough.
86
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Where's Sylvia?
87
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- Um, she didn't come home last night.
88
00:05:18,006 --> 00:05:19,547
- She's out with that--- No, she's out with Tina.
89
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I told her she could stay at her's.
90
00:05:25,179 --> 00:05:28,303
- What are you doing?You're lying...
91
00:05:28,389 --> 00:05:29,765
Two times, it's 9:00.
92
00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:31,558
You already lied twice.
93
00:05:31,644 --> 00:05:34,685
Every time you open that mouth,it's to lie.
94
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You brush your teeth, you're lying.
95
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The only time that mouthof yours is not lying--
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00:05:38,983 --> 00:05:41,025
- And sports fans, the funs begins.
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00:05:41,110 --> 00:05:43,277
A classic matchup between Horace Wittel
98
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and his formidable opponent,Mary Ann Wittel.
99
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Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
100
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Gotta go to my game.
101
00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:02,670
(Horace groans)
102
00:06:02,756 --> 00:06:04,923
- That sister of yours is a fucking snake.
103
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All you...fucking broads are up to something.
104
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:13,849
Go put some real clothes on.
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Go-- Get out of yourlittle baby jammies.
106
00:06:15,518 --> 00:06:16,768
- I'm-- I'm not done with my breakfast.- You had enough.
107
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You had enough.
108
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:23,232
You dress him up like he's a--Like a little teddy bear.
109
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Like a fag.
110
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Look at me.Look at me.
111
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Look at me.
112
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Look at me.
113
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You're not going anywhere.
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You're staying right here.
115
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(muttering) Fucking...
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- Holy shit, it's hot out there today.
117
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It's hotter than a four-titted Mexicanwoman on diarrhea.
118
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Holy shit.
119
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,775
Then my truck breaks down,overheats, and I said--
120
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I said fuck it.
121
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I just left it right there in the middle of thefucking street.
122
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Then I come in here to get a beer
123
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and this shit is warmer than the shit
124
00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:20,493
that's running outof my radiator.
125
00:07:20,579 --> 00:07:23,412
- Oh, fuck you, George.Get out if you don't like it.
126
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- I don't like it.
127
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Why can't you fucking refrigerate yourbeer like everybody else, Pete?
128
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- Because fuck you is why.
129
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I got all the machines downstairs to do it,
130
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but every time I go to turn it on, I think,ah, fuck that black George.
131
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If you want to cool off, go find yourselfa big watermelon and climb inside.
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(woman giggles)
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Warm beer.I'll give you warm beer.
134
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- And you did give me warm beer,you Irish bastard.
135
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(woman laughing)
136
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:53,025
The fuck you laughing at?
137
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- Nothing, Daddy.
138
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- You dumb, drunk bitches.
139
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What the--Shut the fuck up!
140
00:08:00,158 --> 00:08:04,033
- Make me, then.- Yeah, make her.
141
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,745
- Just--You know what?
142
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You take your lezzie friend somewhereand y'all lick on each other's balls.
143
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Is that what y'all do?- Hey, hey, hey!
144
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- Yeah, lick on each other's balls.
145
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- None of that in here.
146
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- None of what?
147
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- What are you laughing at?- If you two are gonna...
148
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do that to each other,just go somewhere else.
149
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- Hey, Jimmy.- How you doing, Pete?
150
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What do you hear, what do you say?
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- Nothing.Nothing.
152
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You want coffee?
153
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- Only your best, Pete.
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Nothing but your best coffee.
155
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Horace.
156
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How are you, Horace Sr.?- Hi.
157
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- How you feeling,still got both your kidneys?
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- One's fulled up.I gotta empty out soon.
159
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One of my balls, you know.
160
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- Duly noted.
161
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- No school today?
162
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- No, it's Good Friday, Pete, you heathen.
163
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The students have to beat eachother up at home today.
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- Fucking animals.
165
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- They're all right.
166
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They just got too muchenergy for a classroom,
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so once in a while,they crack each other over
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the head with a fuckingSnoopy lunchbox.
169
00:09:01,716 --> 00:09:04,549
- Yeah, but I hear the gangs areinfiltrating the schools now.
170
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- Oh, my God, the gangs.
171
00:09:06,137 --> 00:09:07,886
I was in Coney Island the other day,
172
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I had my daughter for the weekend,pick her up at her
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00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:12,099
friend's house in Trump Village,
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00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:13,600
take her to Coney Island, the boardwalk.
175
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We go on the Cyclone.
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She says, Daddy, it's boring.
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The Cyclone is boring now.
178
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So we're on the boardwalk,ice cream, whatever.
179
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- You drink coffee in a bar?
180
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- Yes, ma'am.
181
00:09:24,863 --> 00:09:27,321
- Why the fuck would you cometo a bar to drink coffee?
182
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- Hey, shut up.
183
00:09:28,949 --> 00:09:30,741
Unless you want to getthe fuck out yourself.
184
00:09:30,826 --> 00:09:33,659
- You gonna kick me out just for askingthe man a question?
185
00:09:33,746 --> 00:09:35,329
- Yeah, Pete, it's all right,it's a legitimate question.
186
00:09:35,414 --> 00:09:36,788
Why would I drink coffee in a bar?
187
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- Because he fucking likes it, okay?
188
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Because it's his fuckingbusiness and not yours.
189
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,254
Anyway, you're a degenerate lesbian.
190
00:09:44,339 --> 00:09:45,922
And...
191
00:09:46,007 --> 00:09:48,257
Jimmy here is an educated guy.
192
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So go fuck yourself.
193
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- I was gonna go with a morediplomatic response,
194
00:09:52,930 --> 00:09:57,014
but it's Pete's bar, so I guess,go fuck yourself is an order.
195
00:09:57,101 --> 00:09:58,809
Go fuck yourself, young lady.
196
00:09:58,895 --> 00:10:00,978
How dare you ask the teachera question?
197
00:10:01,064 --> 00:10:02,105
- Hey, Dad.
198
00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:03,356
You wanna go lay down?
199
00:10:03,441 --> 00:10:04,982
- What?
200
00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:07,192
- Why don't you go upstairsand lie down for a minute?
201
00:10:07,277 --> 00:10:08,693
- What for?
202
00:10:08,779 --> 00:10:10,737
- Maybe you're tired,maybe you want to lie down.
203
00:10:10,822 --> 00:10:12,281
- I'm fine.
204
00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:15,199
- I'm on the boardwalk,me and my daughter.
205
00:10:15,285 --> 00:10:16,327
It's quiet.
206
00:10:16,411 --> 00:10:19,577
Suddenly, you hear "Homicides,Homicides, Homicides."
207
00:10:19,663 --> 00:10:22,539
- Ooh, Homicides, the Homicides.
208
00:10:22,625 --> 00:10:24,917
- Worst gang in Brooklyn,worst gang in Brooklyn.
209
00:10:25,002 --> 00:10:27,794
About 80 of them in their leathersrunning right towards us.
210
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,005
And they're yelling"Homicides, Homicides."
211
00:10:30,091 --> 00:10:32,216
I'm looking at my daughter like, is theresomething you're not telling me?
212
00:10:32,301 --> 00:10:34,717
Are you in a feudwith the crazy Homicides?
213
00:10:34,803 --> 00:10:36,095
They stole your pop rocks?
214
00:10:36,180 --> 00:10:38,430
I don't know.They're coming right at us.
215
00:10:38,516 --> 00:10:41,265
George: What happened?- Just then, right behind us,
216
00:10:41,351 --> 00:10:45,017
but in the same direction, four or fivemembers of the Jolly Stompers.
217
00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:46,646
- Oh, that's the guys who'sin the satin jackets.
218
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:50,189
- Jolly Stompers, I mean, terrifying whenyou see them on the train,
219
00:10:50,276 --> 00:10:53,235
but when there's 80 Homicideschasing them, fairly docile.
220
00:10:53,321 --> 00:10:55,654
One of them had a little ball of shit rollingdown his pant leg as he ran.
221
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,989
They were scared.
222
00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:58,324
And then--- So wait a minute, wait.
223
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,908
The Homicide gang were chasing them.
224
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,161
- Thank Christ, at leastfrom our point of view.
225
00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:05,539
So these ill-fated Jolly Stompersrun past us
226
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:09,374
and we're standing there frozen,can't move, and this
227
00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:12,836
running mob runs around uslike a herd of buffalo
228
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,422
and we're just standing there and then
229
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,757
ten seconds, just standingaround us yelling.
230
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,510
Homicides, Homicides,
231
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:22,136
and running after these poor souls, whoare probably dead by now, by the way.
232
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And--
233
00:11:23,807 --> 00:11:25,099
And ten seconds later, they're gone.
234
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Just me and my daughter,
235
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,935
standing there,my 13-year-old daughter and me,
236
00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:31,437
and we still have nothing to talk about.
237
00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:36,356
(women laughing)
238
00:11:36,444 --> 00:11:38,570
- Hey, Pete.Give me another one?
239
00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:43,116
- Cash first.
240
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,908
- What?
241
00:11:44,994 --> 00:11:46,827
- Horace, come on.What is this shit?
242
00:11:46,912 --> 00:11:48,454
- Hey.
243
00:11:48,539 --> 00:11:50,788
You ain't paid for the last threeI poured you.
244
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- Okay, okay, okay.- Cash first.
245
00:11:52,334 --> 00:11:53,834
- So I'm broke.
246
00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:57,044
I've got...
247
00:11:57,131 --> 00:11:59,214
I've got a quarter.
248
00:12:03,136 --> 00:12:04,344
You know what?
249
00:12:04,429 --> 00:12:06,304
What if I could make
250
00:12:06,389 --> 00:12:09,805
a one dollar bill that you gave mechange into a twenty.
251
00:12:09,893 --> 00:12:12,018
- Ooh, I wanna see it.- I wanna go dancing.
252
00:12:12,103 --> 00:12:14,645
- Then you'll give me a free drink?
253
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:17,980
- What are you talking about?- If I can make your one into a twenty.
254
00:12:18,066 --> 00:12:19,774
Can I-- Can I borrow this?Swear you'll get it right back.
255
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:21,194
I won't do--- Mm-hmm.
256
00:12:21,278 --> 00:12:22,694
- Do you have a--Could I--
257
00:12:22,779 --> 00:12:25,530
Yeah?
258
00:12:25,616 --> 00:12:27,865
Here, you take the twenty,I don't want to touch his money.
259
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:29,117
His money.
260
00:12:29,203 --> 00:12:31,203
Your money, I don't do anything.
261
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Just-- Just fold it.
262
00:12:33,582 --> 00:12:36,123
No, no, no.Fold it, fold it, fold it.
263
00:12:36,209 --> 00:12:38,250
And then again, this way.
264
00:12:38,336 --> 00:12:39,419
Crease it.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
265
00:12:39,503 --> 00:12:41,961
Like this.Yeah, yeah, good, good, good.
266
00:12:42,048 --> 00:12:45,089
Here, so if I rub the twenty,just like this, here.
267
00:12:45,176 --> 00:12:46,551
Can you see, your twenty?
268
00:12:46,636 --> 00:12:48,219
- Yeah.- Look.
269
00:12:48,304 --> 00:12:53,262
If I rub the twenty against the one, see,the ink'll start to change.
270
00:12:53,350 --> 00:12:54,433
See? Here, you see your twenty?
271
00:12:54,517 --> 00:12:55,559
I'm going to give youmy one, but look.
272
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:58,435
If I just place the little piece on top
273
00:12:58,521 --> 00:13:01,271
like this and I do that.
274
00:13:01,358 --> 00:13:03,566
See, now, actually--
275
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,485
No...
276
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:07,028
I kinda messed up.George: Oh! That's a--
277
00:13:07,112 --> 00:13:08,154
(laughter)
278
00:13:08,239 --> 00:13:09,322
- Fuck?
279
00:13:09,406 --> 00:13:11,198
What the fuck?How did you do that?
280
00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:12,408
- I didn't do that.
281
00:13:12,493 --> 00:13:13,992
It just happened.
282
00:13:14,078 --> 00:13:15,245
- Come on, what do you think--
283
00:13:15,329 --> 00:13:16,828
- Don't fucking touch me.
284
00:13:16,913 --> 00:13:18,455
Now, just tell me how you did it.
285
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:19,790
How the fuck did you do that?
286
00:13:19,874 --> 00:13:21,208
Horace: Hey, it's a trick.Horace Sr: Tell him it's a trick, please.
287
00:13:21,293 --> 00:13:22,335
Horace: It's a trick.
288
00:13:22,419 --> 00:13:23,670
- I don't know any tricks.
289
00:13:23,753 --> 00:13:26,420
I just watch nature happen.
290
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:27,547
- Nature?
291
00:13:27,633 --> 00:13:29,007
You fucking freak!
292
00:13:29,092 --> 00:13:30,300
What?My eyes didn't see that, all right?
293
00:13:30,385 --> 00:13:31,759
What did you do?What happened?
294
00:13:31,843 --> 00:13:33,010
- It's all right, Pete, it's a trick.
295
00:13:33,096 --> 00:13:34,137
He's doing--Show him the trick.
296
00:13:34,222 --> 00:13:35,264
- I don't know.
297
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,723
Horace: Show him the trickor we need you to go.
298
00:13:36,807 --> 00:13:37,932
- I don't know.Here.
299
00:13:38,016 --> 00:13:39,517
(glass breaking)- Oh!
300
00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:41,644
- Okay, all right.Time to go, time to go.
301
00:13:41,729 --> 00:13:42,770
- Okay.Horace: Let's go.
302
00:13:42,854 --> 00:13:44,397
- Okay, I'm going.- Let's go.
303
00:13:44,481 --> 00:13:47,189
- Hey, wait, wait, wait.Where's my twenty?
304
00:13:47,276 --> 00:13:49,359
- Look under Pete's watch.
305
00:13:50,445 --> 00:13:52,612
- Holy shit.
306
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:53,780
- All right.
307
00:13:53,864 --> 00:13:56,240
That's enough.- Fucking scumbag!
308
00:13:56,325 --> 00:13:58,783
What the--Horace: That's enough of your shit.
309
00:13:58,869 --> 00:14:01,203
Let's go, goodbye.
310
00:14:01,289 --> 00:14:02,788
- What the fuck was that, huh?
311
00:14:02,873 --> 00:14:04,582
- Yeah.
312
00:14:12,425 --> 00:14:14,341
Mary Ann: (quietly)I'm just gonna go.
313
00:14:16,511 --> 00:14:18,261
- Where are you going?- I'm-- See my sister, I told you.
314
00:14:18,346 --> 00:14:19,388
- Why are you going there?
315
00:14:19,472 --> 00:14:20,888
- I'm just gonna go to my sister's house.
316
00:14:20,974 --> 00:14:22,016
I can go where I want.- No, you're not.
317
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,891
- I don't need your permission, Horace.- No, you're not.
318
00:14:23,976 --> 00:14:26,310
- You have no right to keep me herelike a fucking prisoner.
319
00:14:26,396 --> 00:14:27,438
Just let me go, please.
320
00:14:27,522 --> 00:14:28,896
- All right, go ahead.
321
00:14:28,981 --> 00:14:31,773
- Thank you-- Horace...
322
00:14:31,859 --> 00:14:33,192
(Mary Ann gasps)
323
00:14:39,408 --> 00:14:41,616
- I told you to cut your hair.
324
00:14:45,163 --> 00:14:49,121
- So, anyone have an opinion on thispeanut farmer, Jimmy Carter?
325
00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:52,958
Looks like he's floatingto the top of the sewer.
326
00:14:53,046 --> 00:14:55,421
Could be our next president.
327
00:14:55,506 --> 00:15:00,173
- Well, anything to throw that fuckin'bum Ford out of there.
328
00:15:00,261 --> 00:15:02,636
- Okay, now, what's yourproblem with Ford?
329
00:15:02,722 --> 00:15:04,430
- Are you fucking kidding me?
330
00:15:04,515 --> 00:15:05,766
You know what he said, he--
331
00:15:05,849 --> 00:15:06,974
Here.
332
00:15:07,059 --> 00:15:08,392
I saved it, all right?
333
00:15:08,477 --> 00:15:10,268
"Ford to City: Drop Dead."
334
00:15:10,354 --> 00:15:12,062
Horace: He's been saving that headlinefor a year now.
335
00:15:12,147 --> 00:15:13,689
- Yeah.Fuck this guy!
336
00:15:13,774 --> 00:15:15,690
He can go fuck himself forever.
337
00:15:15,776 --> 00:15:19,650
You know what?I wish I had Squeaky Fromme right here
338
00:15:19,738 --> 00:15:21,904
and I could fucking teach her how toshoot a gun.
339
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,031
Jimmy: Oh.
340
00:15:23,115 --> 00:15:25,657
- Fucking hippies, they sendin a girl, you know?
341
00:15:25,743 --> 00:15:27,034
I mean, she had a clear shot at Ford
342
00:15:27,119 --> 00:15:29,119
and she throws the bullet like a girl.
343
00:15:29,205 --> 00:15:30,246
- Holy moly.
344
00:15:30,331 --> 00:15:31,790
Pete.
345
00:15:31,873 --> 00:15:34,956
I understand you have a hate for thepresident, but it's pretty severe.
346
00:15:35,043 --> 00:15:36,085
Jeez.- Oh, wait-- Wait a minute.
347
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,711
Where does he get the balls, all right?
348
00:15:37,797 --> 00:15:39,838
To tell America's greatest cityto drop dead.
349
00:15:39,923 --> 00:15:41,465
- That's just it.He never said that.
350
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:44,424
The Daily News said he did,but he didn't say it.
351
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:47,636
- Oh, I don't care.You don't, as leader of the free world,
352
00:15:47,722 --> 00:15:51,389
tell this city, I mean, this great city,which by the way,
353
00:15:51,476 --> 00:15:54,851
gave more of its sons and brothers toevery war,
354
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:56,771
you know, since we kept the British from
355
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,356
crossing the Hudson River.
356
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,232
- Not accurate, but I get your point.
357
00:16:00,317 --> 00:16:02,526
- How-- How do youtell a whole city
358
00:16:02,611 --> 00:16:04,528
of New Yorkers to drop dead, all right?
359
00:16:04,613 --> 00:16:08,029
New York is the greatestcity in the world.
360
00:16:08,116 --> 00:16:10,866
- Paris is a better city.
361
00:16:10,952 --> 00:16:12,952
- He's right.We got nothing on Paris.
362
00:16:13,037 --> 00:16:14,746
- I wish I was in Paris right now.
363
00:16:14,832 --> 00:16:16,748
- What's so fucking great about Paris?
364
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,124
- Shut up.
365
00:16:18,209 --> 00:16:21,501
- Their cheese, their bread,the way they kiss, eau de toilett.
366
00:16:21,587 --> 00:16:22,712
Cancan.
367
00:16:22,797 --> 00:16:23,839
Pete: Hey.- Everything's better.
368
00:16:23,922 --> 00:16:24,964
Pete: Hey, hey, hey!
369
00:16:25,048 --> 00:16:27,215
You fucking playingbackgammon over there?
370
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,843
Close that shit up.
371
00:16:28,927 --> 00:16:31,636
We don't do that here.
372
00:16:31,721 --> 00:16:34,346
You heard me.Close it up now, and get out.
373
00:16:34,433 --> 00:16:35,474
Horace: Get outta here.- Get out.
374
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:37,225
Horace: Get outta here.
375
00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:40,310
- Fuck, I didn't see that.Horace: Get outta here.
376
00:16:40,397 --> 00:16:41,689
Fucking backgammon.
377
00:16:41,773 --> 00:16:43,022
Oh, shit.
378
00:16:43,107 --> 00:16:45,107
Here come these two rummies.
379
00:16:48,821 --> 00:16:51,028
- Hi.Pete: Hi, Lenny.
380
00:16:51,115 --> 00:16:54,240
- Hi.- Pete, you're gonna serve 'em?
381
00:16:54,326 --> 00:16:55,743
- Why not?
382
00:17:01,624 --> 00:17:04,374
Fucking Ford.
383
00:17:04,461 --> 00:17:07,002
He's a fucking piece of shit is what he is.
384
00:17:07,088 --> 00:17:09,046
And he's a clumsy motherfucker.
385
00:17:09,132 --> 00:17:12,757
- Pete, I understand you don't like thepresident, but the fact is,
386
00:17:12,844 --> 00:17:14,927
he never said"Drop dead, New York."
387
00:17:15,012 --> 00:17:16,095
He probably said--
388
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:17,805
he said somethinga lot more boring, like,
389
00:17:17,891 --> 00:17:21,765
I'll veto any bill that includes the bailoutof the municipal government
390
00:17:21,852 --> 00:17:23,018
of New York.
391
00:17:23,103 --> 00:17:24,312
- He said it, Jimmy!
392
00:17:24,396 --> 00:17:25,438
- Okay.- He said it!
393
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,314
- All right, all right, Jimmy, why don't youchange the subject, huh?
394
00:17:27,399 --> 00:17:28,649
What else is in the news?
395
00:17:28,734 --> 00:17:32,734
- Well, Namath going to the Rams.
396
00:17:32,821 --> 00:17:34,529
I mean...- Who cares?
397
00:17:34,614 --> 00:17:35,822
- Well, I for one, don't like it.
398
00:17:35,908 --> 00:17:37,199
Anyone care to weigh in?
399
00:17:37,283 --> 00:17:39,283
- Joe Namath has a great tush.
400
00:17:39,368 --> 00:17:40,535
(woman laughing)
401
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,620
- Great tush?Mike: Great.
402
00:17:42,705 --> 00:17:43,788
- 'Cause you're a fucking fag.
403
00:17:43,873 --> 00:17:47,331
- No, I'm not a fag, I just appreciatea great tush when I see one.
404
00:17:47,417 --> 00:17:50,167
- No offense, Mike, but you are a fag.
405
00:17:50,253 --> 00:17:51,295
- You're a fag.
406
00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:55,296
- No--I am not a fag, you're not a fag.
407
00:17:55,383 --> 00:17:56,425
- Hey, I'm not--I'm not a fag.
408
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:57,551
- Oh, yeah?Prove it.
409
00:17:57,636 --> 00:17:58,761
- All right, all right, all right.All right, he said it 'cause--
410
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,178
- What?- He said it 'cause you said it.
411
00:18:00,263 --> 00:18:01,847
He said it 'cause you said it.- But I'm not a fag.
412
00:18:01,932 --> 00:18:03,097
- Yeah, no, we know you're not a fag.
413
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,474
Right, you said it, 'cause you retaliated.- Yeah, I said it 'cause you said I was--
414
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:06,894
- Right?- Yes.
415
00:18:06,978 --> 00:18:08,019
- All right, it's okay, Pete.
416
00:18:08,103 --> 00:18:10,437
- Watch your mouth.- It's okay.
417
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:11,814
- You watch my mouth.
418
00:18:11,899 --> 00:18:12,941
- What?- Nothing.
419
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,901
- Okay, okay.All right, Mike.
420
00:18:14,985 --> 00:18:17,235
Mike, let me get--Let me buy you a beer.
421
00:18:17,321 --> 00:18:18,947
It's okay, Pete.
422
00:18:21,407 --> 00:18:22,449
- I can't come, Abb.
423
00:18:22,534 --> 00:18:24,951
He won't--He won't let me leave here.
424
00:18:25,036 --> 00:18:27,078
I can't just leave.
425
00:18:27,163 --> 00:18:29,956
He doesn't let me do anything.
426
00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:32,583
Yeah, well, it's-- That's easy for you tosay, Abby, all right?
427
00:18:32,669 --> 00:18:34,377
I will come and see you tomorrow.
428
00:18:34,462 --> 00:18:36,546
And we'll talk about it, okay?
429
00:18:38,883 --> 00:18:41,258
Wha-- Why? Becau--Yeah, because he's my husband.
430
00:18:41,343 --> 00:18:45,426
That is my fault and I can't do anythingabout that.
431
00:18:45,514 --> 00:18:48,389
No, do not come here, I'm telling you,that's gonna make things worse.
432
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:53,436
Yeah, I know, I know.I know, I know.
433
00:18:53,522 --> 00:18:55,438
I-- I don't know what to do.
434
00:18:55,523 --> 00:18:56,815
I don't know--
435
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:59,942
I don't know what to do,can't do this anymore.
436
00:19:00,028 --> 00:19:02,903
I just want to die every day.
437
00:19:02,989 --> 00:19:04,530
I can't.
438
00:19:04,615 --> 00:19:06,740
No, do not--I can't, I can't, Abby.
439
00:19:06,826 --> 00:19:08,784
Don't do that.I'm telling you, don't come here.
440
00:19:12,039 --> 00:19:13,372
Just tell me that--
441
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:17,331
That you love meand that it's gonna be okay.
442
00:19:17,419 --> 00:19:19,335
I know, but just say it anyway,will you, honey, please?
443
00:19:19,421 --> 00:19:22,379
I'm dying over here, I need you.
444
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:25,215
I don't need you like that.
445
00:19:25,301 --> 00:19:27,384
Why can't I?Why can't I?
446
00:19:27,469 --> 00:19:31,303
I'm the one getting my ass kickedover here, it's not you.
447
00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:33,265
Horace.
448
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:35,559
Yeah, I have children here, you don'tknow what that's like.
449
00:19:35,644 --> 00:19:36,686
(change jingling)
450
00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:37,854
Yeah, but I'm not gonna do that.
451
00:19:37,938 --> 00:19:39,438
What are you, crazy?
452
00:19:39,523 --> 00:19:40,690
Yeah.
453
00:19:40,774 --> 00:19:42,107
No, I can't do that.
454
00:19:42,191 --> 00:19:43,233
Come here.
455
00:19:43,318 --> 00:19:47,068
Go downstairs, get mamaa pack of cigarettes.
456
00:19:47,155 --> 00:19:49,031
Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
457
00:19:49,115 --> 00:19:51,282
I know, Abby.
458
00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:55,035
Oh, okay.
459
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,203
- Well, Little Horace,when he was about six,
460
00:19:57,289 --> 00:20:00,331
he was in the little leagueand I coached his team, right?
461
00:20:00,417 --> 00:20:04,208
And so he played right field, so rightaway, you know how good he is, right?
462
00:20:04,296 --> 00:20:06,463
I mean, how many kids that agecould hit it out to right field?
463
00:20:06,548 --> 00:20:10,173
So he'd be out there, you know,picking his nose and staring off,
464
00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:14,135
and then one day, he comes running upto me in the middle of the game,
465
00:20:14,221 --> 00:20:15,472
up to the bench,he says,
466
00:20:15,557 --> 00:20:18,140
(high pitched) Uncle Pete, Uncle Pete,
467
00:20:18,225 --> 00:20:21,225
I gotta make a pee pee!
468
00:20:21,312 --> 00:20:23,312
I said, get the fuckback out on the field!
469
00:20:23,397 --> 00:20:24,981
What's the matter with you?(laughter)
470
00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:28,816
He said, (high pitched) time out,Uncle Pete, I gotta make a pee pee!
471
00:20:28,903 --> 00:20:31,028
I said, I don't care if yougotta make a doo-doo.
472
00:20:31,113 --> 00:20:33,404
You don't stop in the middle of the game.
473
00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:35,115
What are you doing?
474
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,659
What is this, girls' softball?
475
00:20:36,743 --> 00:20:39,118
And then he's crying like, wahh...
476
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,871
All right, all right,I had to call a time-out.
477
00:20:40,955 --> 00:20:42,455
So I say to the ump, time out.
478
00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:47,124
And then I go over to Horace, I said,okay, all right, come here.
479
00:20:47,211 --> 00:20:48,336
Here, come here.
480
00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:49,671
I said, all right, Horace.
481
00:20:49,756 --> 00:20:52,381
I called a time out so youcan go take a leak, all right?
482
00:20:52,466 --> 00:20:55,174
I mean, what am I gonna do?He's my nephew and he's crying, right?
483
00:20:55,260 --> 00:20:59,969
So I said, okay, honey, go to the toilet,I'll put Ralphie in right field, all right?
484
00:21:00,057 --> 00:21:02,306
So you can go take a pee pee.
485
00:21:02,393 --> 00:21:04,518
And he's crying, just standing there.
486
00:21:04,603 --> 00:21:06,812
I said, what's the matter with you?
487
00:21:06,897 --> 00:21:08,313
I thought you had to gomake a pee pee?
488
00:21:08,398 --> 00:21:10,564
Now go make a pee pee!
489
00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:12,608
And he says...
490
00:21:12,694 --> 00:21:17,443
(high pitched) Uncle Pete,Uncle Pete, it's too late!
491
00:21:17,532 --> 00:21:20,782
I look and he's got pissall over his pants!
492
00:21:20,868 --> 00:21:22,410
His pants are covered in piss!
493
00:21:22,494 --> 00:21:24,661
Remember that, Horace?
494
00:21:24,747 --> 00:21:26,580
Remember when you peedyour pants in little league?
495
00:21:26,665 --> 00:21:28,040
Where you going?
496
00:21:28,126 --> 00:21:30,583
Oh, come on, you little crybaby!
497
00:21:30,669 --> 00:21:32,919
- Don't cry, little Horace.
498
00:21:33,004 --> 00:21:37,130
Horace: He's all right.He's all right, Pa.
499
00:21:37,216 --> 00:21:38,258
man: Oh, Jesus.
500
00:21:38,342 --> 00:21:43,342
- Hey, Horace, didn't your otherboy play baseball, too?
501
00:21:43,431 --> 00:21:46,014
- Yeah.Yeah, Little Pete's good.
502
00:21:46,101 --> 00:21:47,934
- Yeah.- He's on a team, he's great.
503
00:21:48,018 --> 00:21:51,518
Shortstop, and he can hit it.
504
00:21:51,605 --> 00:21:53,064
Fantastic.
505
00:21:58,904 --> 00:22:00,612
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
506
00:22:00,697 --> 00:22:02,447
Where you been?
507
00:22:02,532 --> 00:22:04,240
Where you been?
508
00:22:04,325 --> 00:22:06,076
- Heaven.
509
00:22:06,161 --> 00:22:08,035
- Tell me where you been.What, are you fucking wearing lipstick?
510
00:22:08,121 --> 00:22:09,245
When'd you start wearing lipstick?
511
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:10,371
Where you been?
512
00:22:10,456 --> 00:22:12,123
Tell me where you been and don't lie.
513
00:22:12,208 --> 00:22:13,332
Don't tell me you been at Tina's,'cause your mother
514
00:22:13,417 --> 00:22:15,417
already colluded on that lieand I'm not buying it.
515
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:19,170
- I don't have to lie to you, I don't have totell you anything.
516
00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:20,590
- You're dating that nigger again.
517
00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:25,216
- Yeah, I don't date niggers,Dad, I just fuck 'em.
518
00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:26,595
- There's something wrong with you.
519
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:27,930
- Oh, yeah?- There's something wrong with you.
520
00:22:28,015 --> 00:22:29,056
- Yeah, what's wrong with me?
521
00:22:29,141 --> 00:22:31,807
- Somebody should put you away.- Oh, yeah?
522
00:22:37,191 --> 00:22:39,899
- She's got a mouth on her.
523
00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:41,776
I mean, the way she talks.
524
00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:46,572
You know what I heard?
525
00:22:46,656 --> 00:22:48,823
That all teenage girls,
526
00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:52,243
they got, like,a hormonal imbalance,
527
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:53,370
so no matter what you do,
528
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:55,247
you know, you could smack 'emand smack 'em.
529
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:59,791
beat the shit out of them, tell them rightfrom wrong, it ain't gonna get through.
530
00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:01,003
- That's true.
531
00:23:01,087 --> 00:23:03,254
She gonna be married in anotheryear anyway, Horace.
532
00:23:03,339 --> 00:23:05,547
Let some other guy smack her out.
533
00:23:05,633 --> 00:23:08,716
- Your people do that a lot,don't' they, George?
534
00:23:08,803 --> 00:23:10,261
- Say what?
535
00:23:10,346 --> 00:23:12,346
- You smack the shit out of your kids.
536
00:23:12,431 --> 00:23:15,431
- Well, I just do what my daddy did, man.
537
00:23:15,518 --> 00:23:18,018
- A teenage girl hates her father.
538
00:23:18,103 --> 00:23:20,103
She's supposed to.
539
00:23:20,189 --> 00:23:24,231
It's a biological imperative so she doesn'tfuck her father.
540
00:23:24,317 --> 00:23:26,859
- Hey, hey, what the fuckis wrong with you?
541
00:23:26,945 --> 00:23:28,986
- I loved my dad.
542
00:23:32,992 --> 00:23:34,076
- Hey, Dad.
543
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,743
We won.
544
00:23:38,372 --> 00:23:40,497
- Nice.
545
00:23:49,883 --> 00:23:53,050
- Hey.
546
00:23:53,136 --> 00:23:57,011
You okay?
547
00:23:57,099 --> 00:23:58,932
Where's Mom?
548
00:23:59,016 --> 00:24:01,349
- She's in there crying.
549
00:24:01,435 --> 00:24:03,019
- Oh.
550
00:24:03,104 --> 00:24:04,562
Oh, hey, guess what I got?
551
00:24:04,647 --> 00:24:05,814
- What?
552
00:24:05,898 --> 00:24:06,940
- Guess.
553
00:24:07,024 --> 00:24:08,275
- What?
554
00:24:08,358 --> 00:24:10,150
- Look at the back.
555
00:24:10,236 --> 00:24:13,111
Bicentennial.
556
00:24:13,197 --> 00:24:15,446
- Oh.Wow.
557
00:24:15,532 --> 00:24:16,615
Thanks, Pete.
558
00:24:16,700 --> 00:24:19,533
- Sure.
559
00:24:19,619 --> 00:24:21,911
- Now I can show DadI have another one.
560
00:24:21,997 --> 00:24:24,289
- Pete.
561
00:24:24,373 --> 00:24:26,748
What did you do to my stuff?Little Pete: What?
562
00:24:26,835 --> 00:24:28,335
- What did you do to my pictures?
563
00:24:28,419 --> 00:24:30,003
- I didn't do anything.
564
00:24:30,088 --> 00:24:32,796
- I found all these fuckingpictures in the trash.
565
00:24:32,882 --> 00:24:36,423
Those are mine and youscratched out the faces!
566
00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:37,760
- Why do you think I did it!
567
00:24:37,845 --> 00:24:39,636
- Because you're a fucking retard!
568
00:24:39,722 --> 00:24:42,347
You have mental problems, or you'requeer or something, I don't know.
569
00:24:42,432 --> 00:24:44,349
- Just shut up!Shut up!
570
00:24:44,434 --> 00:24:46,184
- What is wrong with you, Pete?
571
00:24:46,270 --> 00:24:48,644
Why can't any of us be normal?- Shut up!
572
00:24:48,730 --> 00:24:50,272
- Why can't anyone be fucking normal?- Just shut up!
573
00:24:50,357 --> 00:24:51,648
- No!- Sylvia!
574
00:24:51,733 --> 00:24:53,317
- I have had it!- Shut up!
575
00:24:53,401 --> 00:24:55,735
- I have fucking had it with you!- Shut up!
576
00:24:59,781 --> 00:25:01,448
Mary Ann: How dare you?Sylvia: I didn't do anything!
577
00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:03,450
(shouting continues)
578
00:25:03,535 --> 00:25:04,869
I didn't do anything!
579
00:25:12,794 --> 00:25:13,878
Little Horace: Why are wecoming down here?
580
00:25:13,962 --> 00:25:15,004
Mary Ann: Shh, shh, shh, shh...Sylvia: Mom, this is so stupid.
581
00:25:15,088 --> 00:25:16,130
You just sneak out?
582
00:25:16,214 --> 00:25:17,381
Mary Ann: Shh!You're gonna wake up your father.
583
00:25:17,465 --> 00:25:18,715
Go.Sylvia: So what, Mom?
584
00:25:18,799 --> 00:25:21,133
This is a fucking waste of time.Mary Ann: Yeah, you shut your mouth.
585
00:25:21,219 --> 00:25:22,719
This is all because of you.
586
00:25:22,803 --> 00:25:24,511
Because you had to stay out late.- It's not my fault.
587
00:25:24,597 --> 00:25:26,472
- If I don't get us out of here, you have noidea what's going on--
588
00:25:26,557 --> 00:25:28,099
- It's not my fault you don'tknow how to fight back.
589
00:25:28,184 --> 00:25:30,100
- Horace, go, go, go.
590
00:25:30,186 --> 00:25:32,353
Okay.- Wait a sec.
591
00:25:32,437 --> 00:25:35,313
- God.- Honey.
592
00:25:35,399 --> 00:25:37,732
Sylvie.- Hi, Aunt Abby.
593
00:25:37,817 --> 00:25:39,525
- God, here, please, Sylvia, take yourbrother out to the car right now.
594
00:25:39,611 --> 00:25:40,861
- What?- Where are we going?
595
00:25:40,946 --> 00:25:42,029
- This better be for real, Mom.- Take your brother out.
596
00:25:42,113 --> 00:25:43,280
Abby: Shut up, Sylvie.
597
00:25:43,365 --> 00:25:44,530
- Go, go.- Okay.
598
00:25:44,616 --> 00:25:45,658
- Oh, my God.- What about Pete?
599
00:25:45,742 --> 00:25:47,284
- My bag, my bag.- No, no, no--
600
00:25:47,369 --> 00:25:49,077
- No, Mom, forget your stuff, just come.- Mary Ann, Mary Ann, just come now.
601
00:25:49,162 --> 00:25:50,828
- No, wait, I'll be right there,I'll be one second.
602
00:25:50,914 --> 00:25:51,956
- Okay, hurry up!Little Horace: What about Pete?
603
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,623
- Go on, kids.Little Horace: Where are we going?
604
00:25:53,707 --> 00:25:55,416
What about Pete?- Shh, shh.
605
00:25:55,501 --> 00:25:57,668
(sink running)
606
00:26:14,644 --> 00:26:16,727
- Hey, Mom.
607
00:26:16,813 --> 00:26:19,230
- Pete.what the hell are you doing?
608
00:26:19,315 --> 00:26:20,564
- I just have to get these filled up.
609
00:26:20,649 --> 00:26:22,066
It's important.
610
00:26:22,151 --> 00:26:23,734
- You're gonna wake up your father.
611
00:26:23,819 --> 00:26:24,860
- I'll explain it to him,it's important.
612
00:26:24,945 --> 00:26:26,320
He'll understand.
613
00:26:29,116 --> 00:26:30,573
- Pete, what the hell?
614
00:26:30,659 --> 00:26:31,701
- I told you, Mom, this is important.
615
00:26:31,785 --> 00:26:33,827
Dad will understand, I'll explain it later.
616
00:26:40,419 --> 00:26:41,626
Dad, listen.
617
00:26:41,711 --> 00:26:44,169
I have to get all these glassesfilled up before the sun rises.
618
00:26:44,256 --> 00:26:46,339
It's really important.
619
00:27:04,858 --> 00:27:06,899
No, Dad...
620
00:27:06,985 --> 00:27:09,651
(smacking sounds)No!
621
00:27:09,738 --> 00:27:10,946
(Little Pete shouting,Mary Ann panting)
622
00:27:11,031 --> 00:27:13,156
Please, Dad! Stop!
623
00:27:13,241 --> 00:27:14,450
Dad!
624
00:27:14,533 --> 00:27:16,284
Please, stop!
625
00:27:16,369 --> 00:27:17,952
Stop! Please!
626
00:27:18,037 --> 00:27:19,370
Please! Dad!
627
00:27:19,456 --> 00:27:20,538
Stop! Stop!
628
00:27:20,622 --> 00:27:22,040
Dad, please!
629
00:27:22,124 --> 00:27:24,874
Stop! Dad!
630
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,002
Stop!
631
00:27:26,086 --> 00:27:27,170
Please, Dad!
632
00:27:27,254 --> 00:27:30,254
Dad! Stop!
633
00:27:30,340 --> 00:27:32,090
Please! Stop!
634
00:27:32,176 --> 00:27:34,217
Please!
635
00:27:34,303 --> 00:27:35,344
Please!
636
00:27:35,429 --> 00:27:37,803
Dad! Stop!
637
00:27:37,889 --> 00:27:40,930
Dad! Please!Dad! Stop!
638
00:27:41,017 --> 00:27:42,059
Dad!(door opens)
639
00:27:42,143 --> 00:27:44,060
Please! Dad!
640
00:27:44,145 --> 00:27:46,270
Please! Don't!(door slamming)
641
00:27:49,858 --> 00:27:53,233
642
00:27:57,032 --> 00:28:00,032
(man humming)
643
00:28:10,169 --> 00:28:13,169
(vocalizing)
644
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,847
-
Horace & Pete
645
00:28:34,526 --> 00:28:36,650
- Found the box of Easter stuff.
646
00:28:36,735 --> 00:28:38,777
Some of it is really fucking old.
647
00:28:38,862 --> 00:28:40,571
And gross.
648
00:28:40,656 --> 00:28:42,864
Anyway, you want to start decorating?
649
00:28:43,992 --> 00:28:45,576
- No.
650
00:28:45,661 --> 00:28:47,537
- Well, don't leave it for tomorrow.It's gonna be a clusterfuck.
651
00:28:50,290 --> 00:28:53,623
- What are you doing?- Uhh, cutting limes.
652
00:28:54,919 --> 00:28:56,794
- What for?- For fucking gin and tonics.
653
00:28:56,879 --> 00:28:59,296
I'm not asking anymore, I'm just doing,it's fucking stupid.
654
00:28:59,382 --> 00:29:00,673
You don't have to use them.
655
00:29:00,758 --> 00:29:03,217
We're gonna have limes and lemons andolives like every bar
656
00:29:03,302 --> 00:29:04,718
on the face of the earth.
657
00:29:04,804 --> 00:29:06,054
- Okay.
658
00:29:06,139 --> 00:29:07,389
man: Hey, you know what?I figured out Trump.
659
00:29:07,473 --> 00:29:08,515
woman: Yeah?- Yeah.
660
00:29:08,599 --> 00:29:11,599
He's the neediest guy in the world.
661
00:29:11,685 --> 00:29:15,310
Like, he's really needy and he reallyneeds this to be president
662
00:29:15,398 --> 00:29:16,939
more than anything, and we're
663
00:29:17,023 --> 00:29:19,648
all gonna vote for him, 'cause we're agenerous country
664
00:29:19,734 --> 00:29:21,943
and we help people that are in need.
665
00:29:22,028 --> 00:29:24,028
- Maybe he just wants to give back.
666
00:29:24,114 --> 00:29:26,281
You ever think of that, you cynicalchimp?
667
00:29:26,366 --> 00:29:28,324
- No, he can't do that.He cannot give back.
668
00:29:28,410 --> 00:29:30,368
That's gonna make his hole way deeper.
669
00:29:30,453 --> 00:29:31,703
You understand that?
670
00:29:31,787 --> 00:29:34,454
Google "Trump charity," okay?
671
00:29:34,541 --> 00:29:36,291
All that's gonna come up is, you know,
672
00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:37,916
some teenager blowing a black guy,which is what
673
00:29:38,002 --> 00:29:41,377
everything connects to, but Trump has apresident hole, get it?
674
00:29:41,463 --> 00:29:44,630
Nothing short of the presidency is gonnafill that hole,
675
00:29:44,716 --> 00:29:47,175
and he's gonna get itlike he got that ten billion,
676
00:29:47,260 --> 00:29:50,177
'cause when he got the ten billion, itdidn't fill his hole.
677
00:29:50,263 --> 00:29:52,597
He went, oh, my God, there's still morehole and my--
678
00:29:52,682 --> 00:29:55,308
my many Russian war bridesaren't filling it,
679
00:29:55,393 --> 00:29:57,851
and you know, saying hi to my doormanis not filling it
680
00:29:57,936 --> 00:30:01,395
and my stupid show, I get to tell PennGillette what to do, that didn't fill it.
681
00:30:01,482 --> 00:30:05,732
I need to be the leader of the free worldand everyone has to love me,
682
00:30:05,819 --> 00:30:08,694
like he knows what his hole is and he'sgoing for it, you see?
683
00:30:08,780 --> 00:30:10,822
And America, 'cause we're good, we'regonna help him.
684
00:30:10,908 --> 00:30:11,949
- Okay.
685
00:30:12,034 --> 00:30:16,742
- Okay, so we're all gonna vote for Trumpbecause he's hurting, he's in pain?
686
00:30:16,829 --> 00:30:21,704
We're actually gonna let him be ourpresident to be nice,
687
00:30:21,792 --> 00:30:23,335
or kind or something?
688
00:30:23,419 --> 00:30:24,710
- Yeah, yeah.Like Batboy.
689
00:30:24,795 --> 00:30:25,837
Remember Batboy?
690
00:30:25,922 --> 00:30:28,755
We're all in on it.
691
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:30,049
- What was Batboy?
692
00:30:30,134 --> 00:30:33,092
- The kid with cancer and he wanted tobe Batman,
693
00:30:33,179 --> 00:30:36,803
so the whole city was like,you're Batman!
694
00:30:36,890 --> 00:30:41,474
- I had this friend and she's ten years old.
695
00:30:41,561 --> 00:30:42,603
You know, she's--
696
00:30:42,688 --> 00:30:44,688
She's my neighbor.
697
00:30:44,772 --> 00:30:47,022
I mean, it's okay if I have a ten-year-oldfriend, right?
698
00:30:47,108 --> 00:30:49,359
- Yeah, you can have one.
699
00:30:49,444 --> 00:30:52,653
- Anyway, I talk to her the other day andshe said that she had
700
00:30:52,738 --> 00:30:54,530
a stomachache and so she--
701
00:30:54,616 --> 00:30:56,658
she said to me, Big Boy--
702
00:30:56,742 --> 00:30:58,117
Well, that's what she calls me, she callsme "Big Boy."
703
00:30:58,202 --> 00:31:02,035
She said, um, my stomach hurtsso bad, I wanna--
704
00:31:02,122 --> 00:31:06,747
I wanna pound my stomach, 'cause it--'cause it hurts.
705
00:31:06,834 --> 00:31:09,918
And I said, well,that's not how it works, Esmeralda.
706
00:31:10,004 --> 00:31:14,171
If your stomach hurts and you hurt itmore, then you hurt more.
707
00:31:14,259 --> 00:31:18,217
I said, you have to, you know,
708
00:31:18,304 --> 00:31:20,054
find the place in youwhere it hurts
709
00:31:20,139 --> 00:31:21,515
and be kind to it, be good to it,
710
00:31:21,599 --> 00:31:24,057
give it milk and honey and medicine
711
00:31:24,142 --> 00:31:28,559
and it'll heal and youand it will be okay and...
712
00:31:29,691 --> 00:31:34,607
Then I thought, if someone's part of you,how do you stop them from hurting you?
713
00:31:34,695 --> 00:31:36,444
And it's...
714
00:31:36,530 --> 00:31:40,405
It's by being good to them
715
00:31:40,492 --> 00:31:45,284
and being caring to them and givingthem milk and honey,
716
00:31:45,371 --> 00:31:48,912
you know, and you need to take careof people to hurt you.
717
00:31:51,002 --> 00:31:52,043
- Yeah, we're all connected.
718
00:31:52,128 --> 00:31:53,253
That hippie shit is true.
719
00:31:53,337 --> 00:31:55,795
That's not just Trump, that's our Trump,do you understand?
720
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:59,589
And he's in pain, and he's swollen,and we gotta get some ice on him quick
721
00:31:59,677 --> 00:32:01,051
and get him in the White House.
722
00:32:01,136 --> 00:32:03,511
- Can't we just tell himhe's the president?
723
00:32:03,596 --> 00:32:05,887
You know, can't we just pretend,so he'll be okay?
724
00:32:05,974 --> 00:32:07,516
- Like Batboy.Leon: Yeah, like Batboy.
725
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,267
- Can we Batboy him?
726
00:32:09,352 --> 00:32:10,644
- Ugh.
727
00:32:10,729 --> 00:32:12,729
Who cares?
728
00:32:12,813 --> 00:32:15,147
Whatever.I don't vote, I think it's annoying.
729
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,819
- Sylvie.
730
00:32:21,905 --> 00:32:23,698
- Hey.
731
00:32:23,782 --> 00:32:25,574
Hey, Ricky.
732
00:32:25,659 --> 00:32:26,701
- Hi, Ricky.
733
00:32:26,785 --> 00:32:28,577
Hey, any news?
734
00:32:28,662 --> 00:32:30,787
- Uh, look, guys.
735
00:32:30,872 --> 00:32:33,706
I've had everybody in the departmentlooking for Pete.
736
00:32:33,792 --> 00:32:36,751
You know, I mean, I've got someone inevery precinct.
737
00:32:36,836 --> 00:32:40,128
We put out a silver alert, even thoughhe's not old enough,
738
00:32:40,214 --> 00:32:41,423
we got his picture everywhere.
739
00:32:41,507 --> 00:32:42,632
- That's great.
740
00:32:42,717 --> 00:32:45,091
- Been checking even tri-statedepartments.
741
00:32:45,178 --> 00:32:48,470
- Wow.- Friends up in New Jersey state.
742
00:32:48,556 --> 00:32:52,473
I mean, we've looked everywhere, guys.
743
00:32:52,559 --> 00:32:53,601
Nothing.
744
00:32:53,686 --> 00:32:55,519
Nothing's turning up.
745
00:32:58,815 --> 00:33:00,981
He ain't been to see Trisha.
746
00:33:01,067 --> 00:33:02,233
Nothing.
747
00:33:02,319 --> 00:33:06,027
Not a lead, or a story about someoneseeing him.
748
00:33:06,113 --> 00:33:07,781
Nothing.
749
00:33:07,865 --> 00:33:10,491
I mean, I'm sorry, but we're striking out.
750
00:33:10,576 --> 00:33:11,743
- Well, thank you.Thanks for all that.
751
00:33:11,828 --> 00:33:12,869
That's--- Yeah.
752
00:33:12,953 --> 00:33:14,537
Thank--Thank everybody, please.
753
00:33:14,622 --> 00:33:15,663
- Yeah, just let us know.- Just let us-- Yeah.
754
00:33:15,748 --> 00:33:16,955
- Yeah.- If you get some more info.
755
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,582
- If there's an update.- Yeah.
756
00:33:19,668 --> 00:33:20,959
Um...
757
00:33:21,044 --> 00:33:24,628
Guys.
758
00:33:24,715 --> 00:33:28,173
Look, this is the hard part.
759
00:33:28,259 --> 00:33:30,426
Pete's gone.
760
00:33:30,512 --> 00:33:32,428
- Yeah, I know.
761
00:33:32,514 --> 00:33:36,847
- No, I mean, like,when someone is missing...
762
00:33:36,934 --> 00:33:39,975
Hey, we've had more manpower on thisthan we've ever had
763
00:33:40,062 --> 00:33:41,521
looking for someone.
764
00:33:41,606 --> 00:33:44,606
I mean, I've got the fire departmentinvolved in looking for him
765
00:33:44,691 --> 00:33:45,817
and I hate firemen.
766
00:33:45,901 --> 00:33:47,485
- No.- No, it means a lot.
767
00:33:47,569 --> 00:33:49,111
- Yeah.- Ricky, thank you.
768
00:33:49,196 --> 00:33:50,363
- No.
769
00:33:50,447 --> 00:33:54,447
What I'm trying to say is...
770
00:33:54,535 --> 00:33:57,909
You know, someone in Pete's condition?
771
00:33:57,995 --> 00:34:00,704
He didn't go anywhere.
772
00:34:00,791 --> 00:34:04,624
He couldn't have gone anywhere.
773
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:07,836
He's gone.
774
00:34:07,921 --> 00:34:11,713
He's in the river or something.
775
00:34:11,801 --> 00:34:14,925
And it's hard when a body doesn't--
776
00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:16,928
Doesn't turn up.
777
00:34:17,013 --> 00:34:20,972
Look, this isn't the first time I've had tohave this talk, but...
778
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:23,560
when it's people you know, it's hard.
779
00:34:28,315 --> 00:34:30,982
- What are you trying to say, Ricky?
780
00:34:31,068 --> 00:34:34,652
- Horace, he's gone.
781
00:34:34,738 --> 00:34:37,155
Pete's gone.
782
00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:40,241
He's dead.
783
00:34:40,327 --> 00:34:41,369
We gotta call it now.
784
00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:45,203
We gotta call him dead.
785
00:34:45,290 --> 00:34:46,748
I'm sorry.
786
00:34:46,834 --> 00:34:49,250
That's what this is.
787
00:34:49,335 --> 00:34:53,127
- Huh.
788
00:34:53,214 --> 00:34:55,798
- I'm sorry, guys.
789
00:34:55,884 --> 00:34:58,884
- Yeah, give up, Ricky.That's fine.
790
00:34:58,969 --> 00:35:00,887
Thanks a lot, man.
791
00:35:00,971 --> 00:35:02,263
Thanks for trying.
792
00:35:02,347 --> 00:35:03,598
- Ricky, let's go.
793
00:35:09,146 --> 00:35:10,521
- Sorry for your loss.Horace: Thanks a lot.
794
00:35:10,606 --> 00:35:12,439
Thank you.- Ricky, thank you.
795
00:35:12,524 --> 00:35:14,982
Thanks a lot.- Okay, Sylvia.
796
00:35:15,067 --> 00:35:16,651
You know...
797
00:35:16,737 --> 00:35:17,778
Pete, he...
798
00:35:17,863 --> 00:35:19,987
- I know, I know, we knew.
799
00:35:20,072 --> 00:35:21,740
Thank you.
800
00:35:41,928 --> 00:35:46,302
Some of this stuff is from the '60s.
801
00:35:46,389 --> 00:35:48,014
It's kinda cute, though.
802
00:35:48,098 --> 00:35:51,265
Oh, I found the famous...
803
00:35:51,352 --> 00:35:55,060
Horace & Pete's ham recipe,so, you know, I'm gonna--
804
00:35:55,147 --> 00:35:56,564
I'll try to make that.- We're not--
805
00:35:56,649 --> 00:35:58,190
We're not doing Easter.
806
00:35:58,275 --> 00:35:59,484
- We're not?- No.
807
00:35:59,568 --> 00:36:01,568
- Uh, well, it's tomorrow.
808
00:36:10,829 --> 00:36:12,913
All right, um, Horace?
809
00:36:12,998 --> 00:36:14,498
Listen.
810
00:36:14,582 --> 00:36:16,457
It's been a month.
811
00:36:16,543 --> 00:36:18,376
I didn't need Ricky to tell me what wealready know.
812
00:36:18,461 --> 00:36:20,878
He's gone.So-- So what are you gonna do?
813
00:36:24,049 --> 00:36:25,800
- What are you talking about?What the fuck-- What are you--
814
00:36:25,885 --> 00:36:28,134
Why are you saying this to--What are you saying to me right now?
815
00:36:28,220 --> 00:36:29,804
Why are you saying this?- Horace, because,
816
00:36:29,889 --> 00:36:31,681
right now is right now.
817
00:36:31,765 --> 00:36:33,265
Pete is gone.
818
00:36:33,350 --> 00:36:34,600
Are you gonna do Easter?
819
00:36:34,685 --> 00:36:36,351
What are you gonna do?
820
00:36:36,436 --> 00:36:37,645
What are you gonna do?
821
00:36:37,729 --> 00:36:39,938
- I'm not doing Easter.I'm not doing any of that.
822
00:36:40,023 --> 00:36:41,147
None of that makes sensewithout Pete here.
823
00:36:41,232 --> 00:36:42,983
- Okay, so, then close this place down.
824
00:36:43,067 --> 00:36:44,317
Go do something else.
825
00:36:44,402 --> 00:36:45,527
- I can' t do that.
826
00:36:45,611 --> 00:36:46,653
- Why not?
827
00:36:46,737 --> 00:36:48,029
- Because he's gonna come back,'cause he might come back.
828
00:36:48,114 --> 00:36:51,197
- He's-- Horace, he is not coming back.Horace.
829
00:36:51,284 --> 00:36:54,075
Pete is dead, Horace.
830
00:36:55,538 --> 00:36:58,454
Fuck it.You know, Horace, it's time.
831
00:36:58,540 --> 00:37:01,290
It's time for you to claim a fucking life.
832
00:37:01,376 --> 00:37:04,084
You sat out the first half, now it's time ofyou to make something
833
00:37:04,170 --> 00:37:05,296
of whatever time you fuckinghave left.
834
00:37:05,380 --> 00:37:06,547
- I didn't sit out my life.
835
00:37:06,631 --> 00:37:08,756
- No, no, you most certainly did.
836
00:37:08,842 --> 00:37:10,425
You and fucking Pete, both you guys.
837
00:37:10,510 --> 00:37:12,760
You guys together, like,you were half a guy each.
838
00:37:12,846 --> 00:37:15,429
Together, you didn't didn'teven add up to a whole.
839
00:37:15,514 --> 00:37:17,556
Now, he is gone.
840
00:37:17,641 --> 00:37:19,600
You have a chance to be a person.
841
00:37:19,685 --> 00:37:22,476
To live a fucking life, I don't care, Horace,I'm saying all of it.
842
00:37:22,563 --> 00:37:24,688
What are you going to do?
843
00:37:24,773 --> 00:37:29,440
What are yougoing to do?
844
00:37:29,528 --> 00:37:32,987
- I don't know.
845
00:37:33,073 --> 00:37:34,698
I don't know, I'm sorry.
846
00:37:38,202 --> 00:37:42,453
- Okay, well, there's somethingyou need to know, brother.
847
00:37:42,540 --> 00:37:45,082
I'm leaving.
848
00:37:45,167 --> 00:37:46,417
- You are?- Yes, I'm going.
849
00:37:46,501 --> 00:37:47,960
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
850
00:37:48,046 --> 00:37:49,128
You can do what you want,
851
00:37:49,212 --> 00:37:51,630
but Harold and I are leaving townon Monday and that's it.
852
00:37:51,715 --> 00:37:53,340
I'm getting the fuck out of here.- Where?
853
00:37:53,425 --> 00:37:54,717
- Where--I don't know where.
854
00:37:54,801 --> 00:37:58,551
See the country or whatever, just--Just not here, though.
855
00:37:58,639 --> 00:38:00,597
- You're telling me that now?- Yes, now.
856
00:38:00,682 --> 00:38:02,599
Yes, now, Horace.
857
00:38:02,684 --> 00:38:04,684
This is all you fucking have is right now.Do you understand?
858
00:38:04,770 --> 00:38:07,811
I almost died and I gotmy fucking life back,
859
00:38:07,898 --> 00:38:10,814
and I'm not spending it here,there's no fucking way.
860
00:38:13,527 --> 00:38:17,444
I hope you don't either, Horace.
861
00:38:17,531 --> 00:38:20,740
And I will miss you, but I'm not gonna sithere and watch you rot.
862
00:38:27,415 --> 00:38:30,749
- Oh, Pete...
863
00:38:30,835 --> 00:38:32,710
Pete.- Horace?
864
00:38:32,796 --> 00:38:34,629
You can call him all you want.
865
00:38:34,714 --> 00:38:36,506
He doesn't hear you, Horace.
866
00:38:41,178 --> 00:38:42,804
Horace.
867
00:38:46,058 --> 00:38:50,974
You know, fuck Easter, then, I mean,like, you know, fuck that anyway.
868
00:38:51,063 --> 00:38:53,688
I am leaving on Monday.
869
00:38:53,774 --> 00:38:55,273
Do something.
870
00:38:55,358 --> 00:38:58,400
Please.
871
00:38:58,486 --> 00:39:00,277
Don't make me think about you sittingthere like...
872
00:39:00,363 --> 00:39:02,279
Like that.
873
00:39:11,124 --> 00:39:14,373
(door opens, footsteps approaching)
874
00:39:17,421 --> 00:39:18,587
- Hey.
875
00:39:18,672 --> 00:39:20,505
Hi. I'm Mara.
876
00:39:20,590 --> 00:39:22,632
I'm here for the interview.- Sorry?
877
00:39:22,718 --> 00:39:24,051
- Oh, you sound like the guyI talked to on the phone.
878
00:39:24,136 --> 00:39:25,177
Are you Horace?
879
00:39:25,261 --> 00:39:26,720
- Yeah.- Oh, hey.
880
00:39:26,805 --> 00:39:28,638
How you doing?
881
00:39:28,723 --> 00:39:30,140
Gosh, it's so dark in here.
882
00:39:30,224 --> 00:39:33,016
So, I'm here for the job interview.- Oh.
883
00:39:33,103 --> 00:39:34,477
- Today.
884
00:39:34,562 --> 00:39:35,603
- We're looking for a bartender.
885
00:39:35,688 --> 00:39:37,479
- Yes.I'm the person, right here.
886
00:39:37,565 --> 00:39:39,565
Look.Goodbye, gone.
887
00:39:39,650 --> 00:39:41,025
When do I start?
888
00:39:41,110 --> 00:39:42,776
Let's go.
889
00:39:42,862 --> 00:39:44,987
- Listen, this isn't a great timefor me right now.
890
00:39:45,072 --> 00:39:46,405
- Oh.- I'm sorry, I apologize.
891
00:39:46,489 --> 00:39:47,948
- Oh, I'm sorry, just give meten minutes, though.
892
00:39:48,033 --> 00:39:50,283
Just give me ten minutes and then youwon't have to see me again
893
00:39:50,368 --> 00:39:52,285
'til tomorrow, at work.
894
00:39:52,370 --> 00:39:54,037
Horace.- You want an interview now?
895
00:39:54,122 --> 00:39:55,164
- Yes, please.
896
00:39:55,247 --> 00:39:56,706
I mean, that's what you saidand I'm in a hurry.
897
00:39:56,791 --> 00:39:58,125
I have popsicles in the car.
898
00:39:58,209 --> 00:39:59,667
Popsicles melt.
899
00:39:59,753 --> 00:40:01,335
And then it's juice.
900
00:40:01,420 --> 00:40:04,087
Who likes juice, Horace?
901
00:40:04,174 --> 00:40:05,339
Please?
902
00:40:05,424 --> 00:40:08,216
- Sure, have a seat, would you?- Thank you.
903
00:40:08,302 --> 00:40:10,385
- Okay.Now, I know this job starts tomorrow,
904
00:40:10,471 --> 00:40:11,596
but I'm gonna neednext weekend off
905
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,263
because I'm gonna go to Chicago.
906
00:40:13,347 --> 00:40:15,514
They're having a bit of a--
907
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,391
Like, a little party thingthat I want to go to.
908
00:40:18,478 --> 00:40:19,519
And I like going to parties.- In Chicago?
909
00:40:19,604 --> 00:40:20,645
- Yeah, in Chicago.
910
00:40:20,730 --> 00:40:22,563
The land of pizza, yes.
911
00:40:22,648 --> 00:40:24,065
This is a nice place.
912
00:40:24,151 --> 00:40:26,692
Do you have any termites?Everything's wood.
913
00:40:26,778 --> 00:40:27,819
- Yeah.- Yeah.
914
00:40:27,904 --> 00:40:29,820
Are you okay?I mean...
915
00:40:29,906 --> 00:40:31,363
- Yeah, no, yeah.- Okay.
916
00:40:31,448 --> 00:40:32,698
All right.- So, have you...
917
00:40:32,784 --> 00:40:35,159
- Um, yes?- ... bartended before?
918
00:40:35,244 --> 00:40:37,203
- I have, I've bartended a lot, actually.
919
00:40:37,287 --> 00:40:41,412
The last, I was in Greece, I worked ata taverna for a while in Athens, Greece.
920
00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:44,583
And then I did a little bitof bartending in Mykonos,
921
00:40:44,669 --> 00:40:47,377
'cause I was there, and I bartended in
922
00:40:47,463 --> 00:40:49,588
Chicago at a little club,but I hated the manager.
923
00:40:49,673 --> 00:40:51,590
I'm not gonna give you his reference.I hated his guts.
924
00:40:51,675 --> 00:40:53,300
I actually took his keysand I threw them in the snow
925
00:40:53,385 --> 00:40:55,552
'cause I knew he wouldn'tfind them 'til the springtime.
926
00:40:55,638 --> 00:40:56,805
I just couldn't stand that guy.
927
00:40:56,889 --> 00:40:57,931
I mean, I know I shouldn'tbe telling you that,
928
00:40:58,015 --> 00:40:59,973
'cause here I am trying to get a job, but...
929
00:41:00,059 --> 00:41:03,683
And then I've been everywhere but prettymuch, like, North and South Dakota,
930
00:41:03,771 --> 00:41:05,646
I've never been.But I love Black Hills Gold,
931
00:41:05,731 --> 00:41:06,981
so I should go there one day, right?
932
00:41:07,066 --> 00:41:08,107
Are you all right?
933
00:41:08,192 --> 00:41:09,483
You look--- I've had a tough day.
934
00:41:09,567 --> 00:41:11,484
- Oh.I'm sorry, let me just..
935
00:41:11,569 --> 00:41:14,361
God, it's driving me crazy, your eyes are,like, soaking wet.
936
00:41:14,447 --> 00:41:15,572
They're, like, soaking wet.
937
00:41:15,657 --> 00:41:16,782
Do you have an allergy problem
938
00:41:16,866 --> 00:41:17,908
or something?- Um.
939
00:41:17,992 --> 00:41:19,325
- Look, I'm gonna just go like this.- Okay.
940
00:41:19,409 --> 00:41:20,618
- And you're just gonna breathe.- Okay.
941
00:41:20,703 --> 00:41:21,745
- Isn't that good?- Yeah.
942
00:41:21,830 --> 00:41:22,955
- You know, sometimes,if you just press on the temple--
943
00:41:23,039 --> 00:41:24,664
You have a headache, don't you?- A little bit, yeah.
944
00:41:24,748 --> 00:41:26,623
- Look, 'cause, like, your whole face isfull of strawberries.
945
00:41:26,708 --> 00:41:28,042
You're sensitive, aren't you?
946
00:41:28,127 --> 00:41:30,086
Redheads are sensitive.- Yeah, I guess so.
947
00:41:30,171 --> 00:41:31,213
- When's your birthday?
948
00:41:31,297 --> 00:41:32,880
Are you a Virgo?- Yeah.
949
00:41:32,965 --> 00:41:34,464
- I knew it, I knew it, see.
950
00:41:34,550 --> 00:41:37,883
I do just a little bit of palm reading andcan do horoscopes, charts.
951
00:41:37,970 --> 00:41:39,761
This woman taught me.
952
00:41:39,847 --> 00:41:41,013
- Who taught you?- Yeah, she was a pill-popping,
953
00:41:41,098 --> 00:41:44,722
you know, astrologer, but she taught mehow to read charts.
954
00:41:44,809 --> 00:41:46,725
It's fascinating, so I'm really good--
955
00:41:46,811 --> 00:41:47,978
I'm really good with people.
956
00:41:48,062 --> 00:41:50,229
I'm really great with strangers.
957
00:41:50,314 --> 00:41:52,814
- So where did you work besides Chicagoand Greece?
958
00:41:52,900 --> 00:41:56,276
- Oh, gosh, I worked in Vancouver for awhile at this place called
959
00:41:56,361 --> 00:41:58,028
the Golfin' Dolphin, but they didn't
960
00:41:58,114 --> 00:42:01,072
have alcohol, but I served drinks, but itwas just, like, you know,
961
00:42:01,158 --> 00:42:04,825
water mixed with, like,flavored juice.
962
00:42:04,911 --> 00:42:08,328
I didn't work there long, but that was inVancouver and that was a lot of fun.
963
00:42:08,414 --> 00:42:11,622
And then I worked in Iowa for a while
964
00:42:11,710 --> 00:42:13,710
and then Washington, D.C.
965
00:42:13,794 --> 00:42:15,253
and then I worked in
966
00:42:15,338 --> 00:42:17,088
South Carolina, Charleston.- Where are you from?
967
00:42:17,173 --> 00:42:18,756
- Are you--Originally, I'm from North Carolina.
968
00:42:18,841 --> 00:42:19,883
Raleigh, the capital.
969
00:42:19,967 --> 00:42:21,009
You been there?- No.
970
00:42:21,093 --> 00:42:22,176
- Near Cherry Point.
971
00:42:22,261 --> 00:42:23,886
It's like a military base.
972
00:42:23,971 --> 00:42:26,470
I went there 'cause I wanted to savemy money to get a Hobie Cat, a boat.
973
00:42:26,556 --> 00:42:28,764
Do you ever go sailingor anything like that?
974
00:42:28,851 --> 00:42:29,893
- No.- Do you know anything about--
975
00:42:29,977 --> 00:42:31,019
Well, you're sensitive.
976
00:42:31,103 --> 00:42:32,686
I bet you want to stay outof the sun, right?
977
00:42:32,770 --> 00:42:35,478
You probably frizzle,you burn, you know?
978
00:42:35,565 --> 00:42:37,357
Ha, look at that, you're smiling!
979
00:42:37,442 --> 00:42:38,817
Look at that smile.
980
00:42:38,902 --> 00:42:41,735
See, you use every musclein your face when you smile.
981
00:42:41,821 --> 00:42:43,030
You're all sad sack.
982
00:42:43,114 --> 00:42:44,239
You know?
983
00:42:44,324 --> 00:42:45,448
Can I get you a drink?
984
00:42:45,532 --> 00:42:46,824
Maybe that'll cheer you up.
985
00:42:46,910 --> 00:42:49,368
Then I can prove to you how goodI'm gonna be at this job.
986
00:42:49,453 --> 00:42:50,953
- Listen, Mora, can I haveyour phone number?
987
00:42:51,038 --> 00:42:52,704
Maybe I'll call you when--- Oh! My phone number?
988
00:42:52,789 --> 00:42:55,332
- I mean, just so I can call you when wefigure out what we're doing,
989
00:42:55,417 --> 00:42:56,834
'cause I'm not sure whatwe're doing.
990
00:42:56,919 --> 00:42:58,501
- Okay, I'm gonna give youa phone number.
991
00:42:58,587 --> 00:43:00,587
I don't really have a phone,but I know this guy--
992
00:43:00,672 --> 00:43:01,839
It's a long story.
993
00:43:01,924 --> 00:43:03,341
It's this guy I dated for a long time,
994
00:43:03,424 --> 00:43:05,507
he was actually an alcoholicand gay and he came to my
995
00:43:05,593 --> 00:43:07,218
house and he drank all the sangria
996
00:43:07,304 --> 00:43:10,095
and then I had this watermelon and hepicked it up and he threw it on the floor
997
00:43:10,181 --> 00:43:11,597
and then he wet my bed.
998
00:43:11,682 --> 00:43:13,515
I dated him for two years, it took me fiveto get over him,
999
00:43:13,601 --> 00:43:16,517
but I'm gonna give you his number.He'll call you.
1000
00:43:16,603 --> 00:43:18,561
Ugh, he was a Sagittarius.
1001
00:43:18,647 --> 00:43:21,397
You know, they say if you look atsomething green
1002
00:43:21,483 --> 00:43:24,067
for ten minutes every day,it's supposed to cheer you up.
1003
00:43:24,153 --> 00:43:25,527
- I didn't know that.
1004
00:43:25,612 --> 00:43:27,154
- Why don't you cometo Chicago with me?
1005
00:43:27,238 --> 00:43:30,155
I'm not gonna be there long.
1006
00:43:30,241 --> 00:43:31,741
I don't even know you.That's weird, isn't it?
1007
00:43:31,826 --> 00:43:32,993
Right?- Sure.
1008
00:43:33,078 --> 00:43:35,869
- Okay.Oh! You have a jukebox.
1009
00:43:35,956 --> 00:43:37,580
There's your fun over there.
1010
00:43:37,665 --> 00:43:38,873
- Yeah.- Do you have any money?
1011
00:43:38,958 --> 00:43:40,499
- It's free, we just let you give--
1012
00:43:40,584 --> 00:43:43,168
- Oh, free?Finally, something free, okay.
1013
00:43:43,253 --> 00:43:45,087
I'm gonna play a song and I'm gonna getout of your hair.
1014
00:43:45,172 --> 00:43:46,381
- Okay.- Okay.
1015
00:43:46,465 --> 00:43:47,507
Any song?
1016
00:43:47,591 --> 00:43:48,758
- Whatever you want.
1017
00:43:52,930 --> 00:43:53,972
- Okay.Here's one.
1018
00:43:54,056 --> 00:43:56,139
This one's for you.
1019
00:43:56,225 --> 00:43:57,433
Redhead.
1020
00:43:57,517 --> 00:44:00,976
(song playing)
1021
00:44:02,563 --> 00:44:04,314
Perfect.All right, I'll see you tomorrow.
1022
00:44:04,399 --> 00:44:05,440
- Okay.- Okay.
1023
00:44:05,524 --> 00:44:08,607
Bye!- It's nice to meet you.
1024
00:44:08,694 --> 00:44:10,403
- See you around like a doughnut.
1025
00:44:10,487 --> 00:44:14,446
- Okay.
1026
00:44:14,533 --> 00:44:16,075
-
Let us be lovers
1027
00:44:16,159 --> 00:44:22,492
We'll marry our fortunes together
1028
00:44:22,581 --> 00:44:24,332
I've got some real estate
1029
00:44:24,418 --> 00:44:29,292
Here in my bag.
1030
00:44:29,381 --> 00:44:32,672
So we bought a pack of cigarettes
1031
00:44:32,758 --> 00:44:36,883
And Mrs. Wagner's pies
1032
00:44:36,971 --> 00:44:38,971
And walked off
1033
00:44:39,056 --> 00:44:43,098
To look for America
1034
00:44:48,565 --> 00:44:49,940
Kathy I said
1035
00:44:50,025 --> 00:44:56,400
As we boarded a Greyhound
in Pittsburgh
1036
00:44:56,489 --> 00:45:02,697
Michigan seems like
a dream to me now
1037
00:45:02,786 --> 00:45:04,745
It took me four days
1038
00:45:04,830 --> 00:45:06,913
To hitch-hike from Saginaw
1039
00:45:06,999 --> 00:45:08,582
I've come
1040
00:45:08,667 --> 00:45:13,460
To look for America
1041
00:45:14,797 --> 00:45:17,214
Laughing on the bus
1042
00:45:17,301 --> 00:45:21,800
Playing games with the faces
1043
00:45:21,888 --> 00:45:23,221
She said the man
1044
00:45:23,306 --> 00:45:27,389
In the gabardine suit was a spy
1045
00:45:29,603 --> 00:45:31,187
I said be careful
1046
00:45:31,272 --> 00:45:36,272
His bow tie is really a camera
1047
00:45:41,907 --> 00:45:43,615
Toss me a cigarette
1048
00:45:43,700 --> 00:45:49,784
I think there's one in my raincoat
1049
00:45:49,872 --> 00:45:51,331
We smoked the last one
1050
00:45:51,416 --> 00:45:54,500
An hour ago
1051
00:45:56,670 --> 00:45:57,712
So I looked at the scenery...
1052
00:45:57,797 --> 00:46:00,588
- I think I know what I'm gonna do.
1053
00:46:00,674 --> 00:46:03,966
-
She read her magazine
1054
00:46:04,053 --> 00:46:07,053
And the moon rose over
1055
00:46:07,139 --> 00:46:10,473
An open field
1056
00:46:15,438 --> 00:46:17,522
Kathy I'm lost I said...
1057
00:46:17,606 --> 00:46:18,648
- Pete!
1058
00:46:18,732 --> 00:46:22,274
-
Though I know she was sleeping...
1059
00:46:22,362 --> 00:46:24,070
- Pete!
1060
00:46:24,155 --> 00:46:27,280
-
I'm empty and achingand I don't know why...
1061
00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:29,325
- Hi, Pete.- Pete.
1062
00:46:31,787 --> 00:46:33,329
Pete.
1063
00:46:38,085 --> 00:46:39,293
- Hi, Pete.- You all right?
1064
00:46:39,378 --> 00:46:41,669
- Hi.
1065
00:46:41,754 --> 00:46:43,088
- You're okay, it's okay.
1066
00:46:43,172 --> 00:46:45,880
It's okay.It's okay.
1067
00:46:45,967 --> 00:46:47,509
It's okay.
1068
00:46:47,594 --> 00:46:49,553
It's all right.
1069
00:46:49,637 --> 00:46:52,179
(Horace sighs)
1070
00:46:52,265 --> 00:46:54,348
- Horace, wait.Horace, wait a second.
1071
00:46:54,433 --> 00:46:55,724
- Pete, Pete, Pete.- Pete, honey...
1072
00:46:55,809 --> 00:46:57,017
- Pete, Pete, Pete.Pete, honey.
1073
00:46:57,103 --> 00:46:59,478
Pete. Pete.- Horace, wait, wait, wait--
1074
00:46:59,564 --> 00:47:01,355
Wait, wait, Horace, Horace!- Pete, Pete...
1075
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,648
Sylvia: (screaming) No!
1076
00:47:18,330 --> 00:47:19,872
- This place is, like, famous, right?
1077
00:47:19,957 --> 00:47:21,040
- Oh, yeah.
1078
00:47:23,711 --> 00:47:26,211
- What's the story with this place?
1079
00:47:26,297 --> 00:47:27,630
- This...
1080
00:47:27,714 --> 00:47:30,381
This, my friend, is Horace & Pete's,
1081
00:47:30,467 --> 00:47:32,800
the true heart of Brooklyn,
1082
00:47:32,886 --> 00:47:35,136
owned for 100 years by two brothers,
1083
00:47:35,221 --> 00:47:38,138
Horace and Pete.
1084
00:47:38,224 --> 00:47:41,099
Until one day Pete killed Horaceand had to go away.
1085
00:47:43,396 --> 00:47:46,937
And that's what happenedto Horace and Pete.
1086
00:47:47,024 --> 00:47:50,316
- I gotta move the van soon,I'm parked bad.
1087
00:47:50,403 --> 00:47:51,445
- Yeah.
1088
00:47:51,529 --> 00:47:52,862
Okay.
1089
00:47:56,408 --> 00:47:57,533
So that's it from upstairs?
1090
00:47:57,618 --> 00:47:59,034
- Yeah, that's it.
1091
00:48:01,704 --> 00:48:03,663
- What are you gonnado with all this stuff?
1092
00:48:03,748 --> 00:48:07,582
- Uh, I'm not gonna do anything.
1093
00:48:07,669 --> 00:48:09,169
- You're just gonna leave it?
1094
00:48:09,253 --> 00:48:11,545
What's gonna happen to the place?- I don't know.
1095
00:48:11,632 --> 00:48:13,506
And, uh, I don't care.
1096
00:48:13,591 --> 00:48:15,257
- Well, it's yours now, isn't it?
1097
00:48:15,343 --> 00:48:16,551
- No, it is not mine.
1098
00:48:16,636 --> 00:48:19,927
And I am not its.
1099
00:48:20,013 --> 00:48:21,888
- Huh.
1100
00:48:21,973 --> 00:48:24,641
You know, Sylvie, you could--
1101
00:48:24,726 --> 00:48:25,935
Okay.
1102
00:48:26,019 --> 00:48:27,353
Okay.
1103
00:48:27,437 --> 00:48:28,728
- Harold.
1104
00:48:28,813 --> 00:48:33,606
We're walking out of this place and thatis it for me and Horace & Pete's.
1105
00:48:33,693 --> 00:48:35,026
Okay?
1106
00:48:35,111 --> 00:48:39,445
- Okay, all I'm saying is that you can takethis and turn it into something new.
1107
00:48:39,532 --> 00:48:40,699
Sylvia's place.
1108
00:48:40,783 --> 00:48:43,700
Get rid of all these old ghostsand make it your own.
1109
00:48:43,786 --> 00:48:46,161
- Harold, you said you would help me getthe fuck out of here.
1110
00:48:46,247 --> 00:48:48,121
Please, just do that.
1111
00:48:48,207 --> 00:48:49,332
- It's okay, honey.
1112
00:48:49,416 --> 00:48:51,625
- Okay.- It is okay.
1113
00:49:00,093 --> 00:49:01,884
We're going.
1114
00:49:01,970 --> 00:49:04,470
I promise.
1115
00:49:04,555 --> 00:49:07,097
I'm gonna go get this van parked right.
1116
00:49:07,183 --> 00:49:10,058
- Okay.
1117
00:49:10,143 --> 00:49:11,519
Thank you.
1118
00:49:11,604 --> 00:49:13,479
- We're gonna pack it upand get the hell out.
1119
00:49:26,702 --> 00:49:31,702
- Hi, we're closed.- Yeah. Um, hi.
1120
00:49:31,789 --> 00:49:33,290
- Hi.
1121
00:49:33,374 --> 00:49:36,249
- Are-- Are you Sylvia?
1122
00:49:36,335 --> 00:49:38,793
- Yes.
1123
00:49:38,878 --> 00:49:42,671
- You're my aunt, Sylvia.
1124
00:49:42,758 --> 00:49:45,550
- Holy shit.
1125
00:49:45,636 --> 00:49:46,802
You're Horace?
1126
00:49:46,886 --> 00:49:49,886
- Yeah.
1127
00:49:49,973 --> 00:49:52,140
- Whew.
1128
00:49:52,225 --> 00:49:53,559
Wow, there you are.
1129
00:49:53,643 --> 00:49:56,851
Horace the fucking ninth.
1130
00:49:56,937 --> 00:49:59,563
(laughing)
1131
00:49:59,649 --> 00:50:01,149
Gosh, no, nothing.
1132
00:50:01,233 --> 00:50:03,025
Nothing.
1133
00:50:03,110 --> 00:50:04,152
Wow.
1134
00:50:04,236 --> 00:50:07,028
- Guess it's kinda weirdthat we've never met.
1135
00:50:07,114 --> 00:50:09,947
- Yeah, it's kinda weird, isn't it?
1136
00:50:10,034 --> 00:50:11,409
- Well, I--
1137
00:50:11,493 --> 00:50:12,660
I never knew my dad.
1138
00:50:12,745 --> 00:50:14,910
- Well, no, you didn't,
1139
00:50:14,996 --> 00:50:17,788
but you could have,'cause he was here every day, so...
1140
00:50:20,251 --> 00:50:21,418
So...
1141
00:50:21,502 --> 00:50:23,877
- What--What was he like?
1142
00:50:23,963 --> 00:50:25,297
- What was he like?
1143
00:50:25,381 --> 00:50:27,590
Uh...
1144
00:50:27,675 --> 00:50:30,133
You know, he was nothing, really.
1145
00:50:30,219 --> 00:50:33,053
He was no kind of man.
1146
00:50:33,138 --> 00:50:35,388
He was not, uh...
1147
00:50:35,475 --> 00:50:39,099
particularly funnyor smart or kind or...
1148
00:50:39,186 --> 00:50:41,603
You know, he was just...
1149
00:50:41,688 --> 00:50:43,772
He was just some guy.
1150
00:50:43,856 --> 00:50:45,981
But he was your father.
1151
00:50:49,279 --> 00:50:50,654
- Yeah.
1152
00:50:54,033 --> 00:50:55,075
- I'm sorry.
1153
00:50:55,159 --> 00:50:56,659
Excuse me.
1154
00:50:56,745 --> 00:50:58,119
Excuse me for a sec.
1155
00:50:58,204 --> 00:51:00,245
(quietly sobbing)
1156
00:51:03,334 --> 00:51:05,709
Excuse me for a second, I'm sorry.
1157
00:51:11,508 --> 00:51:13,466
(sobbing)
1158
00:51:24,604 --> 00:51:28,187
Oh, my God...
1159
00:51:30,943 --> 00:51:34,610
1160
00:51:34,696 --> 00:51:37,405
(sobbing)
1161
00:51:40,201 --> 00:51:44,451
-
Hell no
1162
00:51:44,539 --> 00:51:51,455
I can't complain about my problems
1163
00:51:51,546 --> 00:51:57,754
I'm okay the way things are
1164
00:51:57,844 --> 00:52:05,051
I pull my stool up to the bar
1165
00:52:05,142 --> 00:52:08,975
At Horace & Pete's
1166
00:52:12,315 --> 00:52:18,023
Sometimes I wonder
1167
00:52:18,112 --> 00:52:23,863
Why do we tear ourselves to pieces?
1168
00:52:23,950 --> 00:52:30,075
I just need some time to think
1169
00:52:30,165 --> 00:52:37,248
Or maybe I just need a drink
1170
00:52:37,338 --> 00:52:41,297
At Horace & Pete's
1171
00:52:49,266 --> 00:52:53,057
Horace and Pete
1172
00:52:54,898 --> 00:52:57,522
- That's a wrap on"Horace & Pete," everybody!
1173
00:52:57,608 --> 00:53:01,065
(cheers and applause)
1174
00:53:02,821 --> 00:53:05,404
- Yeah!
1175
00:53:05,490 --> 00:53:07,823
(cheers and applause)
1176
00:53:07,910 --> 00:53:10,201
- Woo, woo!
1177
00:53:14,582 --> 00:53:16,998
(laughter)
1178
00:53:17,083 --> 00:53:18,542
- Shortest day of work ever!
1179
00:53:18,628 --> 00:53:20,753
(chatter)
1180
00:53:28,178 --> 00:53:30,470
- Thank you all.
1181
00:53:30,555 --> 00:53:32,138
man: Bravo!
1182
00:53:32,222 --> 00:53:34,597
(cheers and applause)
1183
00:53:34,647 --> 00:53:39,197
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