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- So...
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when Glen and I first got married,
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his parents gave us,as a wedding gift, um,
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a little house that they hadin Pennsylvania.
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They had it sincethey were married back in,
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I don't know, '69,
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and now they spend their summersin a bigger house
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that they moved intothat's right near the little house
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and I think thatthey partly gave it to us
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so that they could seeGlen's kids more,
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since we would be spendingall of our summers right by them,
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uh, which I didn't mind at all,because I liked them, and...
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And... I don't know.
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But after all the chaptersin my life being married to you,
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having the kids,
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the... whole mess, divorce,
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teaching public high school,
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I'd stopped really giving a shit aboutmy own personal space, you know?
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It was just like, well,everybody, hey, come on in,
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you know, take whatever you want.
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So we started going there every summer.
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And it's really nice there.
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Just tall trees for days.
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Um, something about a placethat gets so cold in the winter,
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'cause in the summer,there's all this moisture,
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and so there's still these pocketsof cool air,
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even in the hottest parts of the summer.
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I loved it.
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And...
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Glen's kids would romp
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and he loved taking them fishing,
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and there was a horse farm nearby
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and they would all borrow horsesand go riding
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and, uh, Roger and Beth,Glen's parents,
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they would come overalmost every night for dinner.
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And it was real easy.It, uh...
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I didn't mindthat it was all Glen's family,
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his parents, his kids, and then me.
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I was okay with that.
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I just thought, well, I can do thisfor as long as it works.
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And it...
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Really...
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nothing ever went wrong,
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'cause nobody had any issues,
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Glen's kids and I, we--we never had any bumps or...
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It was just real easy.
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And I used to love goingto sleep in the country
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with the bugs buzzing and frogs and...
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And then waking up in the quiet,
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'cause I used to get up beforeanybody else did.
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That was my time.
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And so, also, Roger would come overa lot, Glen's dad.
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He's real handy, Glen's not handy,so Roger would come over
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and tend to stuffaround the little house,
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'cause I think he never reallylet go of the feeling
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that that was still his to care for.
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And Beth, um...
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was just kinda quiet.
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Like together they're quiet,
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like their whole relationship is...
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kind of a secret.
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They would come over togetherand sit and watch everybody
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with these two peaceful smileson their face,
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like they're already ghosts,
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silently watching over the grandkids,
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but by himself, Roger, he-- he--he would talk and tell stories.
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Uh, he...
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He's very...
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He has that kind of man's egofrom another time,
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when it wasn't consideredjust being an asshole,
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when it was a virtue, you know,
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'cause he grew up in Michigan,and I just think
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that it's really interestingto know somebody
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that has a quarter-centuryhead start on you.
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It's like gettingto talk to a time machine.
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So he would come over and dostuff around the house,
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and I'd make him coffeeand he would talk while he worked.
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And I would listen and laugh.
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He's really funny.
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And I'd watch him.
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I mean, he's 84.
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And in all those years,
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he never stopped usinghis muscles, his body.
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So he comes over and works
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and, um, usually takeshis shirt off after a while,
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and when you look at a man's84-year-old body
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and you see the skin turn red
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and then sweaty with the workthat he's doing
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all of his life,
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and a man who doesn't haveto prove anything
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to anybody in that little house.
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He would tell me storiesabout his past in the Navy
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and growing up on his parents' farm,
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but he-- he didn't really carethat it was me that he was telling.
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He was just being social.
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He never looked at me much.
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But I would stare at him
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'cause I could,'cause he wasn't looking back.
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So this one day when he comes overto fix the porch boards,
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he drives up in this littletruck that he has.
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I can hear the truckfrom all the way down the hill.
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The house is up on a little hilland then there's nothing
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but woods betweentheir place and ours.
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And so whenever he comes,I hear that little engine,
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I hear the-- him switching his gearswhen he comes up the hill.
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So it's morning and Glen's gotthe kids out on the lake
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and I'm all aloneand I'm sunbathing out on the lawn,
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which feels stupid,
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but I just wanted to feelthe sun on my body
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and I'm alone, so who cares?
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And I'm laying back in the chaisein my only bikini that I ever--
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that I ever, ever bought myself.
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And I just let my legs... go open,
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'cause I want the sunon the inside of my thighs,
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and it just feels goodto be in the woods
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alone and letting the sun in,
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just splayed like a frog,legs open and...
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letting the sun.
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And then I hear the little truck.
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I hear it, uh, coming.
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And I smile like I always do,with my eyes closed.
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And I hear it getting nearer and nearer,
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and I think, well,right where he's gonna pull in,
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he's gonna see me like that,
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and here I am with my legs open
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and I'd better close themand lay here like a lady does.
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And then I thought,oh, well, what if I don't?
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What if I lay here with my eyes closedand my legs open
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and let him see?
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And...
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the thought of that, it re-- it...
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made my heart go really fast.
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And I kept my eyes closed and...
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the closer that the soundof that little truck got,
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the more...
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I got...
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Oh, my God.
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I just stayed there, and, uh...
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I tried to sort of make it looklike I was sleeping,
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but who sleeps like that?
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And-- and I hear the truck pullinto the little space
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in front of the house
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and I have to-- I--
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I was breathing so hard,
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I thought I was gonna havean orgasm just laying there.
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And I hear the truck door squeak openand slam shut,
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and I hear his feet in the grass.
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He'd take a step, then I hear him stop,
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so I know that he's standing there,looking at me.
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And I let him.
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I just-- I just let him look.
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And it was so...
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It was so dirty.
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I don't know, I don't know.
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- Why are you telling me this?
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- I know, I know, it's weird.
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- Yeah.- I know, I know,
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'cause I mean, we haven't eventalked in years.
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Ever since Alice wentto college and 'cause now
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there finally hasn't beenany reason for us...
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- Yeah, I guess not.- ...to talk.
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- Right.- You probably think I hate you,
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and maybe sometimes I do, still,a little bit.
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- Maybe I hate you, did you ever...?
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- Yeah, well, I don't know.I'm sure you do.
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But I-- can I just keep going?
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- Sure.
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- Okay.
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- You're laying on your backwith your legs open in a bikini
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and your new 84-year-old dad-in-law
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is looking between your legs.
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- So yes, he's looking.
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And, um...
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And I can tell because he's not moving,so, yeah, he's...
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he's looking right at me.
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Now.
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Now, all I can think is,
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don't open your eyes, right?
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Because if you look back at him,then you did this.
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You... That's it.
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And you can never take it back.
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And now you can't even close your legs
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because then you definitelyweren't sleeping,
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and what would Glen sayand sweet Beth and the kids?
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And I thought, I'm sick.
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I'm corrupt.
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I just should have left thislittle family alone.
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Glen, he's pure, he's innocent.
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His wife died, is all,
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and he needed somebody,and here I came,
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this fucked-up divorced older lady,
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and I'm showing half of my vaginato his 84-year-old dad.
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- Did you open your eyes?- No.
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No.
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I kept 'em closed.
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And he was there...
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a-- a long time.
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I just felt him there.
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I...
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It was the most erotic thing ever,
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and after I don't even knowhow long, um,
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I heard him start to unload woodfrom the truck,
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so when that first plank of woodhit the porch, I got up,
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I pulled a wrap on around my bottom,
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I got up, I made him coffee,
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and just like always,I watched him work.
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He told me stories,but this time, when he talked to me,
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he looked right at meand he asked me things
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and I talked and he listened and...
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And he listened very well.
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- Is that all that ever--is that all that happened?
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- That's all that happened that day.
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I mean, that was it.He... left,
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and I didn't even dare masturbate,
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because I knew thatit would just be too much.
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- What happened?
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- Okay.
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So... I didn't see him for a few days.
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Him and Beth didn't come overfor dinner.
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He didn't come over to fix anything.
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It was weird, not havingany contact with them
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and I got kinda scared,even though I--
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I mean, what?Nothing happened.
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But I couldn't think aboutanything else.
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Glen and the kids and I,we'd be having our time
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and... I'm miles away.
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I'd be in the kitchen
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watching Glen make somethinghe likes to cook,
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and I just kept staring outthe window at the chaise.
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So then, I think two days after that,Roger calls the house,
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I pick up the phone,he says, "Hi, Sarah,"
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I say, hey,and my heart's pounding.
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It's pounding, and he says, um,
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"So I'm thinking about coming overto paint the wainscoting
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"in the dining room tomorrow,it's peeling.
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So is around 11:00in the morning okay for you?"
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And see, here's the--
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The thing is, he never did that.(clears throat)
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He never called before,he just comes over.
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He never did that.
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So I just say, "Yeah, sure, Roger,I'll see you then."
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I hang up the phoneand Glen says, "What'd he say?"
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And so I told him what he said,
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exactly what he said.
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And I was lying to him.
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I mean, I never lied to him.
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I never-- I never lied to a man,that I remember.
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- You never lied to me.- And here I am,
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telling Glen exactly what his dad said,
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and it was a big lie.
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And Glen just shrugged and said,okay, and I thought,
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boy, the worst part about telling a lie
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is when someone that you lovejust accepts it.
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- Yep.
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So he came over.
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- Well, oh, my God.
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That night, I-- I-- I said to Glen,
259
00:14:59,626 --> 00:15:02,501
well, first, you know,I counted in my head
260
00:15:02,584 --> 00:15:06,626
like how much time should go byafter the call,
261
00:15:06,709 --> 00:15:10,292
and then I open my mouth to suggestthat Glen take the kids to the lake,
262
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:12,292
and I thought, what the hell?
263
00:15:12,375 --> 00:15:13,626
- Mm-hmm.
264
00:15:13,709 --> 00:15:16,751
- Come--What the hell are you doing?
265
00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:18,959
You know, am I really gonna do this?
266
00:15:19,042 --> 00:15:22,501
'Cause that-- that would really bedoing something, to get rid of Glen.
267
00:15:22,584 --> 00:15:24,167
- Yep.
268
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:26,417
- And I told myself,you haven't done anything.
269
00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:29,125
Nothing happened.
270
00:15:29,209 --> 00:15:31,334
So I decide to do the oppositeand I say to Glen,
271
00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:32,959
"Hey, what do you wantto do tomorrow?
272
00:15:33,042 --> 00:15:34,501
Should we all go into town?"
273
00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:36,334
And he goes, "No.
274
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:40,000
I already booked horses for meand the kids, starting at 7:00."
275
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,292
(Horace chuckles)
276
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,209
- Of all...
277
00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:47,626
So, and then all I had to do was go--
278
00:15:47,709 --> 00:15:50,042
just nod my head up and downand say, sure,
279
00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:54,709
and so the next morning, they leaveand now it's getting close to 11:00
280
00:15:54,792 --> 00:15:58,000
and I don't know what to do.What do I do? What do--
281
00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:03,042
Do I put on the bikiniand assume the position?
282
00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:04,542
I don't know, what do I--
283
00:16:04,626 --> 00:16:06,876
I don't want to do anything.
284
00:16:06,959 --> 00:16:09,834
I do not want any of this to behappening, but at the same time,
285
00:16:09,918 --> 00:16:12,667
I felt like I needed to see it through,
286
00:16:12,751 --> 00:16:14,751
because he calledand said that he was coming
287
00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:16,876
and he doesn't do that becauseit-- so it just--
288
00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:22,000
It sounded like he wanted itto happen again.
289
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:24,626
So I put on the old bikini, and then--
290
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:27,375
Oh, Horace, this is the worst.
291
00:16:27,459 --> 00:16:29,000
I had the most awful thought.
292
00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:30,792
- What?
293
00:16:30,876 --> 00:16:35,959
- I thought that when he saw me therethat first time,
294
00:16:36,042 --> 00:16:37,876
he didn't like it.
295
00:16:37,959 --> 00:16:41,751
He thought that it was grossand he thought that it was shameful
296
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,209
and he thought that it was awful
297
00:16:43,292 --> 00:16:45,000
and the reason that he stopped
298
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:46,959
was because he thoughtthat I was sleeping.
299
00:16:47,042 --> 00:16:48,417
He didn't want to wake me up
300
00:16:48,501 --> 00:16:50,626
because he didn't want to have mefeel ashamed,
301
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:53,375
and that the reasonthat he had called the house
302
00:16:53,459 --> 00:16:56,417
was that so I would have a warningthat he was coming
303
00:16:56,501 --> 00:16:58,250
so that it wouldn't happen again,
304
00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:01,125
because he's a decent manand I'm a whore.
305
00:17:01,209 --> 00:17:05,751
And I hear the truck,and I am so afraid, I run upstairs,
306
00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,042
I start changing my clothes.
307
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:08,876
I am in a panic, I'm--
308
00:17:08,959 --> 00:17:11,709
I'm literally trying to figure out,what does a woman wear
309
00:17:11,792 --> 00:17:14,417
who's trying not to fuckthe old guy down the hill
310
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:18,042
who gave birth to her new husband?
311
00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:19,667
(Horace laughs)
312
00:17:19,751 --> 00:17:21,918
- So he comes in the house
313
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,751
and he's--he's-- he's down there.
314
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,709
And I hear him call out,hi, hello?
315
00:17:26,792 --> 00:17:31,209
And I'm standing upstairsin my bra and panties
316
00:17:31,292 --> 00:17:33,542
and I yell out, "Hi, Roger!"
317
00:17:33,626 --> 00:17:35,584
And he calls up, said,"I'm just gonna get started,
318
00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:37,250
work down here."
319
00:17:37,334 --> 00:17:40,250
And I yelled down,"Yeah, sure."
320
00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:44,918
And I hear him starting to work.
321
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,667
And I...
322
00:17:47,751 --> 00:17:53,292
stood there in my underwearlistening to him shuffle around,
323
00:17:53,375 --> 00:17:57,584
popping open the paint can,stirring it.
324
00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:59,417
And...
325
00:17:59,501 --> 00:18:04,042
all of the blood that had beenrunning through my body
326
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:09,792
all that time went rightbetween my legs and...
327
00:18:09,876 --> 00:18:13,626
(chuckling)
328
00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:19,501
I laid down on my bed,and this house is so old, so small, so--
329
00:18:19,584 --> 00:18:24,209
The walls are thin,the floors are thin.
330
00:18:24,292 --> 00:18:27,042
When I laid down on the bed,it made this noise,
331
00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:32,125
and he's in the room right below me,
332
00:18:32,209 --> 00:18:37,584
and I hear the brush stop
333
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:41,250
when the bed creaksand then start again,
334
00:18:41,334 --> 00:18:46,792
and I start running my hands...
335
00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:54,292
...on myself all over and...
336
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:59,000
I mean, he's, what, maybelike 10 feet away from me,
337
00:18:59,083 --> 00:19:01,042
vertically,
338
00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:03,626
and I'm this dirty womantouching myself
339
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,083
and I can hear him working,
340
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:09,542
but very quietly,
341
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:14,292
so my heart is poundingand I made a sound-- I--
342
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:19,042
I made a sound, like a little moan.
343
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:23,000
And then, I hear the brush stop.
344
00:19:23,083 --> 00:19:25,626
And then start.
345
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,209
And then I just--
346
00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:30,209
I let myself get a little bit louder,
347
00:19:30,291 --> 00:19:33,374
and now I hear him put downthe brush, stand up,
348
00:19:33,458 --> 00:19:39,042
my heart's pounding,I-- I-- I stop, I mean, I freeze.
349
00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:44,125
I hear him pull a chair out fromthe table and sit down,
350
00:19:44,209 --> 00:19:46,291
'cause I hear the old woodof the chair creak
351
00:19:46,374 --> 00:19:51,000
and settle under himand-- and, um... (chuckles)
352
00:19:51,083 --> 00:19:57,083
And then I hear, like rustlingof clothes and then nothing,
353
00:19:57,167 --> 00:20:00,958
and-- and I knowthat he's sitting in that chair,
354
00:20:01,042 --> 00:20:05,167
not moving, and that's allthat I know.
355
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,958
So my heart's--- Did he take his dick out?
356
00:20:07,042 --> 00:20:09,374
- I...
357
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,583
I start touching myself,
358
00:20:11,666 --> 00:20:16,875
and I let my-- my own sounds
359
00:20:16,958 --> 00:20:19,000
drowned out his,
360
00:20:19,083 --> 00:20:21,833
and I assume that he's doingthe same,
361
00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:24,458
but of course,I don't know, I don't know.
362
00:20:24,541 --> 00:20:27,250
I-- I don't know anything that's--
363
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:29,708
I mean, for all I know,he's guessing what I'm doing up there
364
00:20:29,792 --> 00:20:31,708
and the poor guy is sitting down therejust totally shocked,
365
00:20:31,792 --> 00:20:35,541
or he has no ideathat any of this is going on
366
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:38,625
and all of this is just making me crazy.
367
00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:42,750
I'm full-on masturbating,I came like crazy.
368
00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:46,458
I...
369
00:20:46,541 --> 00:20:48,958
I-- I-- I might have been loud,
370
00:20:49,042 --> 00:20:51,625
I might've not even madeany noise at all.
371
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:56,000
I couldn't even tell you,but my God, Horace,
372
00:20:56,083 --> 00:20:59,042
it was a lot.
373
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:05,291
And I hear him, um, uh,
374
00:21:05,374 --> 00:21:08,958
stand up, then, from the chairand go back to work,
375
00:21:09,042 --> 00:21:13,250
so I put my clothes onand-- and I go in the bathroom,
376
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,875
I'm running the water, you know,I'm just trying to be normal,
377
00:21:15,958 --> 00:21:18,000
I'm trying to be normal, loud,footsteps, loud, loud,
378
00:21:18,083 --> 00:21:19,666
and all, ahh, ahh.
379
00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:21,042
You know, I come downstairs
380
00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:25,625
and, um, and we talk,
381
00:21:25,708 --> 00:21:28,250
we listen to each other.
382
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:30,917
Um...
383
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,708
He takes his shirt off.(chuckles)
384
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,458
I watch him work.
385
00:21:34,541 --> 00:21:36,500
When he's done, he leaves.
386
00:21:36,583 --> 00:21:40,583
That was... three months ago.
387
00:21:42,625 --> 00:21:44,250
- Holy fuck.
388
00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:49,458
So did you guys ever fuck or what?
389
00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:57,042
- I mean, Horace.
390
00:21:57,125 --> 00:21:59,500
Oh, do you know how...
391
00:21:59,583 --> 00:22:02,833
how horrible it would beif Glen found out
392
00:22:02,917 --> 00:22:05,250
and Beth and the kids and...
393
00:22:05,333 --> 00:22:09,125
And even more, I mean, it wouldjust like be the end of life.
394
00:22:09,209 --> 00:22:12,708
- Sounds like you guys are fucking.
395
00:22:12,792 --> 00:22:15,167
Oh, shit.
396
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,625
- I don't know, I don't know.I don't know what to do.
397
00:22:17,708 --> 00:22:20,917
I-- I can't stop, and...
398
00:22:23,291 --> 00:22:26,250
I mean, if I don't stop,
399
00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:30,250
then all these people aregonna get so hurt.
400
00:22:30,333 --> 00:22:32,125
I just want to die.
401
00:22:34,708 --> 00:22:38,500
Just the other night, I--I cried so hard till morning,
402
00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:42,583
and, um, I thought--
403
00:22:42,666 --> 00:22:45,875
I just felt like my back wasagainst a bed of rusty nails.
404
00:22:45,958 --> 00:22:49,250
- Oh, Sarah.- And I thought of you, Horace,
405
00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:52,666
and I thought of how when I found outabout you and Rosemary
406
00:22:52,750 --> 00:22:54,666
and how much I hated you and how--
407
00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:57,708
And how could you do thatto the family, you know,
408
00:22:57,792 --> 00:23:00,374
to the kids and to me and to yourself?
409
00:23:00,458 --> 00:23:04,583
And then-- and then, I was like,oh, Jesus Christ.
410
00:23:04,666 --> 00:23:09,416
The guy was 21, I was 32,and I married him.
411
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:11,458
I mean, I made him marry me.
412
00:23:11,541 --> 00:23:13,875
It's not that hard to make a guythat age do what you want.
413
00:23:13,958 --> 00:23:18,291
He's so used to still listeningto his mother.
414
00:23:18,374 --> 00:23:22,458
And so, I just thought,how was that like for you?
415
00:23:22,541 --> 00:23:27,833
'Cause, I mean, I had neverthought about how--
416
00:23:27,917 --> 00:23:29,708
How was it like for you?
417
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,083
- So you thought that maybeI could help you now
418
00:23:35,167 --> 00:23:37,209
because I went through itwhen I cheated on you?
419
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:39,374
- Yeah.
420
00:23:39,458 --> 00:23:40,792
- Wow.
421
00:23:40,875 --> 00:23:42,500
Well, that's... (scoffs)
422
00:23:49,917 --> 00:23:51,625
Can you give me a minute?
423
00:23:54,167 --> 00:23:55,666
I'll be right back.
424
00:23:59,374 --> 00:24:02,374
425
00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:10,083
(man humming)
426
00:24:32,792 --> 00:24:35,666
-
Horace and Pete
427
00:24:44,458 --> 00:24:45,875
- Okay.- Okay.
428
00:24:45,958 --> 00:24:47,541
What, did you go jerk offor something?
429
00:24:47,625 --> 00:24:49,333
- Ha.- Ha ha.
430
00:24:49,416 --> 00:24:51,333
- Well, my head is clear now.- Okay.
431
00:24:51,416 --> 00:24:56,000
- Yeah.- And-- and I am sorry.
432
00:24:56,083 --> 00:24:58,291
- Okay, it's all right, it's all right.
433
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,708
So you're in a-- you're ina pretty fucked up situation.
434
00:25:03,792 --> 00:25:06,125
- Yes, I am, yes, I am.- Well, I know how that feels.
435
00:25:06,209 --> 00:25:07,958
- Yes, you do.That's why--
436
00:25:08,042 --> 00:25:12,583
- Okay, well, look, Sarah.
437
00:25:12,666 --> 00:25:15,458
I mean...
438
00:25:15,541 --> 00:25:17,500
you know, it's funny,we never talked about it.
439
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:18,917
- That's true.
440
00:25:21,625 --> 00:25:26,083
- Well, look, let me--let me just say this off the bat, okay?
441
00:25:26,167 --> 00:25:28,958
If you keep doing this with this guy,
442
00:25:29,042 --> 00:25:32,333
and I'm not judging you,obviously.
443
00:25:32,416 --> 00:25:36,416
I mean, people do what they--they do what they do.
444
00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:40,833
But you really have two choices.- Mm-hmm.
445
00:25:40,917 --> 00:25:44,167
- Stop and forget about it,
446
00:25:44,250 --> 00:25:49,333
or keep doing it, in which case,everybody's gonna know.
447
00:25:49,416 --> 00:25:51,958
- Oh, my God.- Well, come on, Sarah.
448
00:25:52,042 --> 00:25:53,500
There's no other way.
449
00:25:53,583 --> 00:25:56,167
I mean, you know it.
450
00:25:56,250 --> 00:25:59,666
If you keep fucking this guy,someone's gonna find out,
451
00:25:59,750 --> 00:26:03,083
which meanseveryone's gonna find out,
452
00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:05,958
and then all the worst thingsthat you're imagining,
453
00:26:06,042 --> 00:26:07,917
they're all gonna happen.
454
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,083
So if you keep doing it--
455
00:26:10,167 --> 00:26:13,792
And again, God bless,do what you gotta do.
456
00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:16,458
But it's all gonna happen,all that awful stuff,
457
00:26:16,541 --> 00:26:19,083
so you need to reconcile with that
458
00:26:19,167 --> 00:26:21,250
and start thinking about howyou're gonna deal with it,
459
00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:24,458
or stop.
460
00:26:24,541 --> 00:26:26,750
- That's not really a choice.
461
00:26:26,833 --> 00:26:28,583
- Yeah, I know.
462
00:26:28,666 --> 00:26:30,625
None of it is a choice.You can't stop.
463
00:26:30,708 --> 00:26:32,209
- No.- I know.
464
00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:35,291
- I mean, he's just beautiful,he smells good.
465
00:26:35,374 --> 00:26:37,708
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay.- I-- I-- I--
466
00:26:37,792 --> 00:26:41,917
I know what you're saying is true.
467
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,666
I know what I need to do.
468
00:26:44,750 --> 00:26:46,541
I can't do it.
469
00:26:46,625 --> 00:26:50,458
So I'm not asking what I should do.
470
00:26:50,541 --> 00:26:54,875
- You're asking...
471
00:26:54,958 --> 00:26:57,750
How did I not kill myself?
472
00:26:59,666 --> 00:27:00,958
Jesus.
473
00:27:03,917 --> 00:27:05,209
I remember feeling like that.
474
00:27:05,291 --> 00:27:07,416
That was-- that's a...
475
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:09,500
That's a bad feeling.
476
00:27:13,666 --> 00:27:16,250
I mean, you're doing something that--
477
00:27:16,333 --> 00:27:19,416
I was doing something
478
00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:22,291
that was the endof absolutely everything
479
00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:24,583
and I kept-- I kept doing it.
480
00:27:24,666 --> 00:27:26,000
- Yeah.
481
00:27:28,750 --> 00:27:30,458
- I never thought about killing myself,
482
00:27:30,541 --> 00:27:34,625
but I used to have fantasiesabout something happening to me,
483
00:27:34,708 --> 00:27:40,042
you know, like getting hit by a truckor falling off a cliff.
484
00:27:40,125 --> 00:27:42,000
That's a bad feeling.
485
00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:48,792
So, well...
486
00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:53,833
I met your sister...
487
00:27:53,917 --> 00:27:56,083
when we started dating.
488
00:27:56,167 --> 00:27:59,333
Like we were dating for about a month,right before we got married.
489
00:27:59,416 --> 00:28:01,209
- And I cannot believewe got married that quick.
490
00:28:01,291 --> 00:28:03,042
- Yeah, that was dumb.
491
00:28:03,125 --> 00:28:04,708
I don't know, it was just--I don't know.
492
00:28:04,792 --> 00:28:08,792
- So...- So...
493
00:28:08,875 --> 00:28:11,209
you remember...
494
00:28:11,291 --> 00:28:13,250
I went to dinner with youand your family?
495
00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:15,291
- Mm-hmm, sure.
496
00:28:15,374 --> 00:28:17,958
- Do you want to hear this?- Sure.
497
00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:24,416
- Okay, so that's when I first met her,was at that dinner,
498
00:28:24,500 --> 00:28:26,374
and I-- I forgot-- I don't know why,
499
00:28:26,458 --> 00:28:29,708
but I asked her why she--when she graduated high school,
500
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:33,083
and you made that joke, you said,"She's your age, Horace."
501
00:28:33,167 --> 00:28:36,958
- Yeah, yeah.Yeah, I remember that.
502
00:28:37,042 --> 00:28:38,625
- This doesn't bother youto hear about this?
503
00:28:38,708 --> 00:28:41,291
- No, it's helping me.I think it's--
504
00:28:41,374 --> 00:28:43,250
- Did you forgive me or--
505
00:28:43,333 --> 00:28:45,875
- No.No, I never did.
506
00:28:45,958 --> 00:28:47,500
I stayed mad at you for years.
507
00:28:47,583 --> 00:28:49,250
Why would I forgive youfor fucking my sister?
508
00:28:49,333 --> 00:28:52,291
Breaking apart the family?Doing that to the kids?
509
00:28:52,374 --> 00:28:54,083
- Just, you don't seem mad anymore.
510
00:28:54,167 --> 00:28:56,833
- I'm not, it just went away.
511
00:28:56,917 --> 00:28:59,083
It's kinda sad.
512
00:28:59,167 --> 00:29:01,125
Um...
513
00:29:01,209 --> 00:29:02,833
No, I was so mad at you,
514
00:29:02,917 --> 00:29:04,833
I would walk around all daywith these bad feelings,
515
00:29:04,917 --> 00:29:10,083
about what you didand I thought, well, someday,
516
00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:12,875
something'll happen, you know,
517
00:29:12,958 --> 00:29:17,374
I'll be overcome by a wave of kindness,or I'll just--
518
00:29:17,458 --> 00:29:20,000
or I'll just figure outa different way to look at it
519
00:29:20,083 --> 00:29:23,083
and I'll forgive you and I'll feel good,but instead,
520
00:29:23,167 --> 00:29:26,708
what happens is,time just takes the feelings away,
521
00:29:26,792 --> 00:29:32,374
they just kinda get dimwith time going by,
522
00:29:32,458 --> 00:29:35,250
they just go awayand you don't get to figure it out.
523
00:29:35,333 --> 00:29:37,250
It's like erosion, it just goes away.
524
00:29:37,333 --> 00:29:39,666
It's kinda sad.- Yeah.
525
00:29:39,750 --> 00:29:43,875
- Anyway, uh, I don't feel anythingabout it, Horace.
526
00:29:43,958 --> 00:29:49,333
But, well, all that's left is,I'm curious how you got through it.
527
00:29:53,291 --> 00:29:54,666
- Okay.
528
00:29:54,750 --> 00:29:57,125
So, Rosemary.
529
00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:03,458
You know, I never thought about herthat way when I first met her.
530
00:30:03,541 --> 00:30:06,083
I mean, she was all right.She was your sister.
531
00:30:09,500 --> 00:30:12,875
And then... (chuckling)
532
00:30:12,958 --> 00:30:15,042
Shit.
533
00:30:15,125 --> 00:30:17,250
- Yes?(Horace exhales)
534
00:30:17,333 --> 00:30:22,042
- Well, then we got married,
535
00:30:22,125 --> 00:30:26,374
and then one day, you were at work
536
00:30:26,458 --> 00:30:30,374
and I was home,and she came over to get something,
537
00:30:30,458 --> 00:30:35,833
I don't remember what,and we fucked.
538
00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:37,541
- So that's it?
539
00:30:37,625 --> 00:30:39,666
- Yeah, I mean, it's nota cool story like yours.
540
00:30:40,530 --> 00:30:42,446
But, um...
541
00:30:42,530 --> 00:30:44,238
Maybe it was, I don't remember.
542
00:30:46,947 --> 00:30:49,738
Anyway, once we figured that out,
543
00:30:49,822 --> 00:30:53,405
that we were into fucking each otherand not telling anybody,
544
00:30:53,488 --> 00:30:56,154
we started to do it a lot.
545
00:30:56,238 --> 00:30:59,030
And after a while,we couldn't stop doing it.
546
00:30:59,113 --> 00:31:00,655
- Oh, God.
547
00:31:00,738 --> 00:31:02,405
- Yeah, it was a lot of fucking.
548
00:31:02,488 --> 00:31:04,446
A lot.
549
00:31:04,530 --> 00:31:07,154
And then, just the worst...
550
00:31:07,238 --> 00:31:10,863
The worst, worst, worst, worst,worst feeling
551
00:31:10,947 --> 00:31:12,863
in the whole wide fucking world.
552
00:31:12,947 --> 00:31:15,280
- Yeah.
553
00:31:15,363 --> 00:31:19,613
- I would lie awake next to you,
554
00:31:19,697 --> 00:31:23,863
just thinking,what if she finds out?
555
00:31:23,947 --> 00:31:26,863
Like scared, like what ifshe finds out?
556
00:31:26,947 --> 00:31:29,446
And then all the shitwith the kids when they were born.
557
00:31:29,530 --> 00:31:31,613
- Horace...(chuckles)
558
00:31:31,697 --> 00:31:33,989
- Well, I couldn't have beendoing a worse thing.
559
00:31:34,071 --> 00:31:35,780
I couldn't have been doinga worse thing.
560
00:31:35,863 --> 00:31:38,863
It was the worst thing I could ever do.
561
00:31:38,947 --> 00:31:40,572
And I kept doing it.
562
00:31:40,655 --> 00:31:42,738
- Yeah. Yeah.
563
00:31:42,822 --> 00:31:45,196
- And every day, every single day,
564
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,238
I would think,I don't want to be alive.
565
00:31:48,321 --> 00:31:50,196
I just want it all to end.
566
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,822
Not just me,I wanted us all to die.
567
00:31:52,905 --> 00:31:54,613
- Oh, Jesus.
568
00:31:54,697 --> 00:31:58,238
- Well, I wanted everybodyinvolved in any way
569
00:31:58,321 --> 00:32:00,071
to just stop existing.
570
00:32:00,154 --> 00:32:02,780
It was the only clean way out.
571
00:32:02,863 --> 00:32:05,822
I remember on 9/11 whenthe planes had hit the buildings
572
00:32:05,905 --> 00:32:08,822
and on the news they said thatWashington was on fire
573
00:32:08,905 --> 00:32:10,655
and there was--
574
00:32:10,738 --> 00:32:11,905
Remember, everybody thoughtthere was more planes coming?
575
00:32:11,989 --> 00:32:13,321
- Yeah, God.
576
00:32:13,405 --> 00:32:15,655
- I thought,maybe this is it, maybe...
577
00:32:15,738 --> 00:32:18,822
maybe the planes will take us outand this will all be over.
578
00:32:18,905 --> 00:32:21,697
- Oh, that's... horrible.
579
00:32:21,780 --> 00:32:23,530
It's horrible.
580
00:32:23,613 --> 00:32:27,154
- Well, I preferred thatto what I knew would happen, and did,
581
00:32:27,238 --> 00:32:29,863
that everybody would find outwhat I was doing.
582
00:32:29,947 --> 00:32:31,530
- Mm-hmm.
583
00:32:31,613 --> 00:32:34,154
- I would picture you finding out.
584
00:32:34,238 --> 00:32:37,154
Like I would close my eyesand I'd picture your face
585
00:32:37,238 --> 00:32:40,280
and I'd see all this hate in your eyes
586
00:32:40,363 --> 00:32:43,738
that I knew I could nevercome back from,
587
00:32:43,822 --> 00:32:47,446
and I kept on fucking her,
588
00:32:47,530 --> 00:32:49,321
and you hated me anyway.
589
00:32:49,405 --> 00:32:52,154
- What?- You hated me.
590
00:32:52,238 --> 00:32:55,697
- Horace, you thoughtI hated you before we broke up?
591
00:32:55,780 --> 00:32:57,989
I didn't hate you.
592
00:32:58,071 --> 00:32:59,947
I didn't.
593
00:33:00,030 --> 00:33:02,613
- Yeah, I kinda know that now.
594
00:33:02,697 --> 00:33:04,613
I mean, come on, honey,we were--
595
00:33:04,697 --> 00:33:06,697
I was 21, you were 32.
596
00:33:16,947 --> 00:33:21,154
- Well, you know, Horace,aside from all of that,
597
00:33:21,238 --> 00:33:23,488
you were neveranything but nice to me.
598
00:33:23,572 --> 00:33:28,697
I mean, like just daily life,like, you know,
599
00:33:28,780 --> 00:33:30,613
all that time,you were always just nice
600
00:33:30,697 --> 00:33:33,488
and I do wish that I had puta higher value on that than I did.
601
00:33:33,572 --> 00:33:35,363
I-- Maybe that's a part of the reason.
602
00:33:35,446 --> 00:33:38,405
- Sarah, I fucked your sister.
603
00:33:38,488 --> 00:33:40,863
That's the story, okay?That's what happened.
604
00:33:40,947 --> 00:33:42,613
- Yeah.
605
00:33:42,697 --> 00:33:44,488
- We don't have to digany deeper than that.
606
00:33:44,572 --> 00:33:46,905
- No, that-- that does make ita lot easier, doesn't it?
607
00:33:46,989 --> 00:33:49,905
- Well, that's why peopledo stuff like that, like this.
608
00:33:49,989 --> 00:33:52,947
Because then you don't haveto go through all the muck.
609
00:33:53,030 --> 00:33:55,196
Otherwise, you have to gothrough all the muck,
610
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:58,405
and nobody can do that,so you just...
611
00:33:58,488 --> 00:34:01,154
In a bad marriage?Fuck a relative and get out.
612
00:34:01,238 --> 00:34:02,863
It works.
613
00:34:02,947 --> 00:34:04,655
It's like an insurance fire.
614
00:34:04,738 --> 00:34:06,488
And you know, when a buildingburns to the ground,
615
00:34:06,572 --> 00:34:07,863
nobody asks any questions,
616
00:34:07,947 --> 00:34:09,655
you just gotta really burn it down.
617
00:34:09,738 --> 00:34:13,863
- I don't even know whyI'm laughing.
618
00:34:13,947 --> 00:34:15,655
- Come on.
619
00:34:15,738 --> 00:34:17,321
Like let's get real.
620
00:34:17,405 --> 00:34:20,488
Sarah, you know what you should do?
621
00:34:20,572 --> 00:34:22,613
You want to know the truth?You should get out.
622
00:34:22,697 --> 00:34:24,989
You should leave Glen and get out.
623
00:34:25,071 --> 00:34:26,780
That's what you're doing anywayby fucking his dad,
624
00:34:26,863 --> 00:34:28,280
you're getting out.- I can't do it.
625
00:34:28,363 --> 00:34:29,905
I can't, I can't.
626
00:34:29,989 --> 00:34:32,030
No, ahh, I have to face it,I have to fix it.
627
00:34:32,113 --> 00:34:34,738
- That is facing it.That's facing it.
628
00:34:34,822 --> 00:34:36,738
Get out and thenthe whole mess is fixed.
629
00:34:36,822 --> 00:34:37,863
That's the fix.
630
00:34:37,947 --> 00:34:39,738
- Well, but I can--
631
00:34:39,822 --> 00:34:41,989
I-- I can stop.I can stop with Roger.
632
00:34:42,071 --> 00:34:44,321
That's what a good person would do.
633
00:34:44,405 --> 00:34:46,989
That's what I'm called on to do.
634
00:34:47,071 --> 00:34:49,238
Don't just throw up your hands,say, oh, well, I--
635
00:34:49,321 --> 00:34:51,655
You know, I do this awful thing,so come what may.
636
00:34:51,738 --> 00:34:55,488
You have to correct your behavior,and you have to strive to be better
637
00:34:55,572 --> 00:34:56,738
for the people in your life.- Okay.
638
00:34:56,822 --> 00:34:58,488
Sarah, tell yourself the story
639
00:34:58,572 --> 00:34:59,989
where you've been fucking this guyas long as you have
640
00:35:00,071 --> 00:35:01,780
and then all of a sudden,you just stop,
641
00:35:01,863 --> 00:35:04,238
and then you just go back to onebig happy family every Christmas
642
00:35:04,321 --> 00:35:07,113
and Easter in your housein the woods, is that--
643
00:35:07,196 --> 00:35:09,405
Do you see that future?- No, no.
644
00:35:09,488 --> 00:35:13,238
- You gotta get out.You gotta get out.
645
00:35:13,321 --> 00:35:15,405
- I-- I don't want--
646
00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:17,446
I don't want to have another divorce.
647
00:35:17,530 --> 00:35:20,154
Horace, I can't take it,I mean, ours was what it was.
648
00:35:20,238 --> 00:35:22,863
I don't blame you,I don't blame me,
649
00:35:22,947 --> 00:35:25,989
it just happened,but if it happens to me again,
650
00:35:26,071 --> 00:35:27,780
what does that say?
651
00:35:27,863 --> 00:35:30,613
- It says that you're shittyat being married.
652
00:35:30,697 --> 00:35:33,071
It's okay, so am I.
653
00:35:33,154 --> 00:35:34,863
That doesn't make you a bad person.
654
00:35:34,947 --> 00:35:36,405
Just don't be married.
655
00:35:36,488 --> 00:35:39,280
Just get outand don't do it again.
656
00:35:39,363 --> 00:35:41,488
Just be alone, like me.
657
00:35:41,572 --> 00:35:43,613
You can't stay in this fucking thing
658
00:35:43,697 --> 00:35:47,405
just to try to make the truthnot be true.
659
00:35:47,488 --> 00:35:50,238
That's insane, that's-- that's Catholic.
660
00:35:50,321 --> 00:35:52,488
- Those kids love me,they really do,
661
00:35:52,572 --> 00:35:55,488
and I love them, and-- and--and they lost their mother.
662
00:35:55,572 --> 00:35:59,738
How do I now just-- just pullout of their life so violently
663
00:35:59,822 --> 00:36:02,196
in such a terrible way?I'd have to be a terrible person.
664
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,989
- You had your kids.
665
00:36:04,071 --> 00:36:05,446
You had your kids, okay?
666
00:36:05,530 --> 00:36:07,613
And you raised your kids.
667
00:36:07,697 --> 00:36:11,822
Their-- their dad...
668
00:36:11,905 --> 00:36:14,822
fucked the family up.
669
00:36:14,905 --> 00:36:19,113
You stayed and saw them throughtheir childhood, okay?
670
00:36:19,196 --> 00:36:22,321
Those are Glen's kids, not yours,
671
00:36:22,405 --> 00:36:24,446
and they lost their mom.
672
00:36:24,530 --> 00:36:25,905
That's what happened to them.
673
00:36:25,989 --> 00:36:28,280
Bu anything you give them is plus.
674
00:36:28,363 --> 00:36:30,321
They got to be with you, okay?
675
00:36:30,405 --> 00:36:32,697
If you leave, it doesn't meanthat they give that back.
676
00:36:32,780 --> 00:36:35,030
Just because you pull outdoesn't mean that you weren't--
677
00:36:35,113 --> 00:36:36,154
that you were never there.
678
00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:42,863
- Boy, you really have a skillat justifying horrible things.
679
00:36:42,947 --> 00:36:45,113
- Yeah.
680
00:36:48,488 --> 00:36:50,446
- I don't know what to do.
681
00:36:50,530 --> 00:36:52,488
- No, you don't.
682
00:36:52,572 --> 00:36:54,697
(sighing)- Oh, God.
683
00:37:06,363 --> 00:37:10,655
- All right, well,here's what you gotta do.
684
00:37:10,738 --> 00:37:13,822
This is what you gotta do,you might as well do it.
685
00:37:13,905 --> 00:37:17,113
Go back and keep fucking Roger.
686
00:37:17,196 --> 00:37:21,947
Keep loving Glen and the kids.
687
00:37:22,030 --> 00:37:26,071
Just do both things as long as you canas well as you can.
688
00:37:26,154 --> 00:37:28,697
That's what you're gonna do.
689
00:37:28,780 --> 00:37:30,363
You know that'swhat you're gonna do,
690
00:37:30,446 --> 00:37:31,572
so you just might as well decideyou're gonna do it.
691
00:37:31,655 --> 00:37:34,530
- Yeah.
692
00:37:34,613 --> 00:37:36,613
(sniffles)Yep.
693
00:37:39,321 --> 00:37:41,405
Oh, my God.
694
00:37:41,488 --> 00:37:43,989
(shuddering)What am I?
695
00:37:44,071 --> 00:37:47,446
- You're just like a whole bunchof other people, Sarah.
696
00:37:47,530 --> 00:37:50,572
Like a lot of other people.
697
00:37:52,154 --> 00:37:53,780
Like you could field an army
698
00:37:53,863 --> 00:37:57,446
with how many people have beenin your situation.
699
00:37:57,530 --> 00:38:01,321
Literally, you could gatherthe cheaters of the world,
700
00:38:01,405 --> 00:38:05,363
and you could wage waron the honest and you'd win.
701
00:38:05,446 --> 00:38:08,822
- Oh, God, you're awful.
702
00:38:08,905 --> 00:38:11,488
- You're gonna be okay,you know.
703
00:38:11,572 --> 00:38:13,822
It's gonna be okay.You're gonna be okay, Sarah.
704
00:38:13,905 --> 00:38:15,613
- Well, I don't know howyou know that.
705
00:38:15,697 --> 00:38:17,905
- Because,you know how I know it?
706
00:38:17,989 --> 00:38:19,863
'Cause I'm okay.
707
00:38:19,947 --> 00:38:22,738
And I was right where you are,and I'm okay.
708
00:38:22,822 --> 00:38:24,113
- What about Glen?
709
00:38:24,196 --> 00:38:26,113
- He'll be okay, too,
710
00:38:26,196 --> 00:38:30,613
because he is where you were,and you're okay.
711
00:38:30,697 --> 00:38:32,405
- Yeah.
712
00:38:32,488 --> 00:38:35,780
- And his kids will be fine,'cause look at our kids.
713
00:38:40,822 --> 00:38:42,446
(chuckling)Fuck.
714
00:38:46,697 --> 00:38:50,280
How is he?
715
00:38:50,363 --> 00:38:52,030
I know, I mean,I follow him on Instagram
716
00:38:52,113 --> 00:38:54,154
so I know...- Yeah.
717
00:38:54,238 --> 00:38:55,989
- ...he's on a lacrosse team
718
00:38:56,071 --> 00:38:59,613
and he went to Peruwith his natural history class,
719
00:38:59,697 --> 00:39:01,613
but how is he?- Well, I--
720
00:39:01,697 --> 00:39:03,238
(clears throat)
721
00:39:03,321 --> 00:39:06,071
He made me promisenot to talk to you about him.
722
00:39:06,154 --> 00:39:08,780
- Oh, okay.
723
00:39:08,863 --> 00:39:11,154
Did he--He knew you were coming here
724
00:39:11,238 --> 00:39:13,863
to tell me that you're fuckingyour new husband's dad?
725
00:39:13,947 --> 00:39:16,947
- Ehh.- Well, ouch, okay?
726
00:39:17,030 --> 00:39:18,446
I mean...
727
00:39:18,530 --> 00:39:20,113
Fuck, man.
728
00:39:20,196 --> 00:39:22,488
I get it, I got it coming,but it fucking hurts.
729
00:39:22,572 --> 00:39:24,238
That's...
730
00:39:24,321 --> 00:39:25,822
- So I'm honoring his...
731
00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:29,280
promise in the sense that,you know,
732
00:39:29,363 --> 00:39:30,613
I'm telling you about it.
733
00:39:30,697 --> 00:39:34,572
I-- I do owe him that,but I think that you should know,
734
00:39:34,655 --> 00:39:37,863
your son is doing really great.
735
00:39:42,071 --> 00:39:45,280
I mean, he's great.
736
00:39:45,363 --> 00:39:49,321
He's a lovely guy, Horace.
737
00:39:49,405 --> 00:39:52,613
He-- he-- he--
738
00:39:52,697 --> 00:39:56,989
He's nice to everybodyand it's genuine.
739
00:39:57,071 --> 00:39:59,030
He's got a girl, terrific.
740
00:39:59,113 --> 00:40:00,572
She's terrific.
741
00:40:03,572 --> 00:40:05,780
And he likes life.
742
00:40:08,697 --> 00:40:12,238
And, um, he's... (clears throat)
743
00:40:12,321 --> 00:40:14,154
thoughtful.
744
00:40:14,238 --> 00:40:17,405
He... picks good friends.
745
00:40:17,488 --> 00:40:19,655
He's really good with tough things,
746
00:40:19,738 --> 00:40:24,321
and so he's doing really good.
747
00:40:24,405 --> 00:40:25,780
- Thanks.
748
00:40:25,863 --> 00:40:27,363
- Yeah.
749
00:40:30,488 --> 00:40:32,280
- I'm really blowing it with Alice.
750
00:40:32,363 --> 00:40:33,947
She's always pissed at me.
751
00:40:34,030 --> 00:40:36,363
- Oh, well, you know,she just needs to stop already.
752
00:40:36,446 --> 00:40:38,071
I don't even--
753
00:40:38,154 --> 00:40:40,405
How long does she thinkshe gets to stay a kid?
754
00:40:40,488 --> 00:40:43,405
- Well...- No, Hor-- No.
755
00:40:43,488 --> 00:40:45,780
I mean, she's almost a lawyer now.
756
00:40:45,863 --> 00:40:50,572
You-- you are making an effortto be in her life.
757
00:40:50,655 --> 00:40:52,863
Nobody owes her any more than that.
758
00:40:52,947 --> 00:40:54,738
She's being a big fat brat.
759
00:40:54,822 --> 00:40:56,905
- Jesus, wow.- Well, I--
760
00:40:56,989 --> 00:40:59,655
I can't-- I can't with that.
761
00:40:59,738 --> 00:41:03,363
I can't with that one.That's enough, I...
762
00:41:03,446 --> 00:41:05,697
- All right, I'll take it.
763
00:41:08,196 --> 00:41:09,530
I didn't really...(clears throat)
764
00:41:09,613 --> 00:41:10,947
I didn't really know, you know,
765
00:41:11,030 --> 00:41:13,113
what I was throwing awaywith those guys.
766
00:41:13,196 --> 00:41:15,989
- You still don't know, Horace,but forgive yourself.
767
00:41:16,071 --> 00:41:19,697
And-- and-- and you wantto know something?
768
00:41:19,780 --> 00:41:24,530
I'm happy for you,'cause I think that you found peace.
769
00:41:24,613 --> 00:41:26,989
I wish that I could do it.
770
00:41:27,071 --> 00:41:29,572
I can't, I'm weak,'cause I need somebody.
771
00:41:29,655 --> 00:41:34,738
And it takes a strengthand a self-acceptance to be alone
772
00:41:34,822 --> 00:41:36,780
and I really do--I feel like you found it
773
00:41:36,863 --> 00:41:39,613
and you're living your truth,you're living honestly
774
00:41:39,697 --> 00:41:42,822
and-- and...
775
00:41:42,905 --> 00:41:46,071
So... I'm proud of you.
776
00:41:48,321 --> 00:41:50,697
I'm just... (sniffles)
777
00:41:50,780 --> 00:41:52,697
I'm really happy for you.
778
00:41:54,363 --> 00:41:55,947
So long, hon.
779
00:41:56,030 --> 00:41:57,446
- Bye, Sarah, see you.- Take care.
780
00:41:57,530 --> 00:41:58,738
- Okay.
781
00:42:08,863 --> 00:42:11,697
- I can't believe you married that cunt.
782
00:42:18,488 --> 00:42:21,488
783
00:42:27,572 --> 00:42:32,113
-
Hell no
784
00:42:32,196 --> 00:42:39,030
I can't complain about my problems
785
00:42:39,113 --> 00:42:43,572
I'm okay the way things are
786
00:42:45,572 --> 00:42:51,280
I pull my stool up to the bar
787
00:42:52,697 --> 00:42:56,321
At Horace and Pete's
788
00:42:59,697 --> 00:43:05,238
Sometimes I wonder
789
00:43:05,321 --> 00:43:11,030
Why do we tear ourselves to pieces?
790
00:43:11,113 --> 00:43:17,196
I just need some time
to think
791
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:22,780
Or maybe I just need a drink
792
00:43:24,947 --> 00:43:29,822
At Horace and Pete's
793
00:43:29,905 --> 00:43:32,905
794
00:43:36,863 --> 00:43:40,363
Horace and Pete
795
00:43:42,697 --> 00:43:44,738
(record scratching)
796
00:43:44,788 --> 00:43:49,338
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