All language subtitles for Happily Divorced s02e24 For Better or For Worse.eng

Happily Divorced is shot
before a live audience

and based on what
actually happened to me.

So you kissed
your neighbor,

and you got a fianc?.

Mm, let me see.

The last thing
my lips was on

was that thing
the cops make you blow into

at a checkpoint.

Actually, Judi,
Neil kissed me.

And you
didn't kiss him back?

I may have lingered.

But it's only
because I miss Elliot so much.

I mean, it's just not normal
for an engaged couple

to be apart for so long.

I need to be loved.
I need to be caressed.

I need sex!

Well, baby,
the answer to your problem

is right here.

Oh, Judi,
I-I wouldn't want anything

to ruin our friendship.

Not me.

I'm talking about your husband's
new boyfriend.

Well, he's gay.

Been there, done that.

I meant
that you miss Elliot.

You have a flight attendant
in the next room.

He can hook you up,

and you can be in London
by tonight,

and I'll be
all over that neighbor

like brown on rice.

Oh, my God, Judi.
That is brilliant.

Plus it'll be like
a surprise.

It's always so much hotter

when a partner
does something unexpected.

[Laughs]

Well, most of the time.

Oh, this is gonna be
so great.

I swear, if I was away
from Elliot any longer,

I might make
an even bigger mistake

than I made last night
when I...

Who? What?

Why did you stop talking
when I came in?

Cesar, you don't need
to know everything

that goes on
in this house.

Do you really want
to play this game?

I will know by noon.

Ooh, I'm dying
to ask Chris,

but I don't want
to wake them up.

Oh, no, girl.
I heard them talking earlier.

Oh, well,
if they were talking,

- that means that they're up.
- Go.

I can't wake them
if they're already up.

Do it.

Oh, God, oh, God!

Not talking now, Judi.

Not talking at all.

What?

Is everything
all right, Fran?

Well, yes,
I-I just wanted

to ask Chris a favor,

but I don't want
to disturb you guys.

Uh, go back to spooning

or whatever the hell
you were doing.

T.M.I.

I have a flight
at noon.

The sooner we find out
what she wants,

- the sooner you and I...
- Talk fast.

Well, I've been feeling
very, you know...

- Faster.
- Okay.

Um, London.
Horny.

Sex dreams.
I kissed Neil.

You kissed Neil?

I-isn't Neil the British guy
who lives next door?

Yep.

Isn't she engaged
to the other guy?

Yep.

We're not going
back in there, are we?

Nope.

But the only reason
why I kissed Neil

was because
I miss Elliot so much.

You know what it's like

when you go for months
and months and months

without having sex.

Shh, shush, please.

Well, I was just hoping
that Chris might be able

to use some pull
and get me on a flight

to London today.

Oh, Fran,
if that's all you want,

my flight to Paris
has a stopover in London,

and I am allowed
a buddy pass.

Buddy pass?

As in you can take
a buddy for free,

and I can be your buddy?

Of course
you can be my buddy.

Why can't I be
your buddy?

I only get
one buddy.

I want to be
your buddy.

Oh, thank you, Chris.

If you do anything
to screw up this relationship,

I swear...

I've got you
for that, Fran.

Okay.

I'm gonna pack now.

And listen,
don't tell anybody

about what I told
you guys.

I don't need
everybody knowing

that I kissed Neil.

Like taking candy
from a baby.

[Bubbly music]

Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/

Oh, excuse me, sir.

Um, this is
my fianc?'s room,

and I would love
to surprise him.

Would you mind opening
the door for me?

I'm sorry.
I'm not allowed to do that.

Oh, well, wait a minute.

Maybe if you saw his picture,
you'd understand.

He's very cute.

He is very lovely.

Does he have
a twin brother?

Identical.

Surprise.

Does little Elliot want
to come out and play?

[Gasps]

Where the hell
is little Elliot?

May I help you?

Oh, my God.

Who the hell are you,

and what the hell
are you doing in here?

I could ask
the same of you.

Oh, please tell me this isn't
what it looks like.

What is going on?

Oh, my God!
There's more?

Why was she in our bed?

Your bed?
Oh, thank God.

You two are...

I think this is
really beautiful, by the way.

My ex-husband is, uh...

Oh, it's a long story.

Anyway, the stupid front desk
gave me the wrong room.

I'm so sorry.
Forgive...

Fran?

Elliot!

Oh, my God!

They gave you
the wrong room too!

Will it be for just one?

Oh, yes, my fianc?
is trying to get us a room.

There was some big,
crazy misunderstanding.

Can I get you
something to drink?

After an 11-hour flight,
hells, yeah.

I'll have a glass
of your finest champagne.

[Mouths words]

No problem, miss Collins.

No, shh!

Oh, my God!

Miss Collins!

What are you doing
in London?

Wishing I was in Paris.

What a small world.

Oh, it's okay.
I know her.

My ex works
for miss Collins.

You can bring my drink
over here.

Darling, I have
dinner reservations.

Oh, that's very sweet
of you,

but I ate on the plane.

So Elliot's trying
to find us a suite.

You know, I came over here
and surprised him,

and you would not believe
what happened.

Darling, why don't you
call Peter?

He cares.

Oh, I-I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to bother you.

It was just
the funniest thing,

'cause when I went
up to his room,

there were two girls
in his bed.

Oh, damn it,
now I am interested.

Go on.

Well, it turns out
that they were working

on the music video
that he's shooting,

and because they had
a really early call tomorrow,

he said
that they can use his room.

I mean, is my guy
a gentleman or what?

I'd go with "or what."

What does that mean?

You don't think
he's a gentleman?

I mean, he was giving up
his bed for them.

He was gonna sleep
on the couch.

Oh, Fran.

Yes, miss Collins?

You're not really
that stupid.

I'm not?

Oh, but he would never
do anything to jeopardize

this wedding
that he's been dreaming about

since he was
a little girl...

Boy!

Listen, Fran,
do you know what you sound like?

One of those women

who are so desperate
to get married

that when she finds two girls
in her fianc?'s bed,

she invites them
to the wedding?

You didn't.

No.

But I thought about it.

Oh, my God.

How could I not see him
for what he is?

I mean, the breakups,
the makeups,

the commitment issues.

A sane person would've stopped
after one red flag

or maybe even two.

I needed the whole U.N. plaza
waving in my face

before I could see it.

On the upside,

at least this one
likes women.

Oh, what am I gonna do?

I'm gonna have to start
all over.

How?
I'm almost 48 years old.

Oh, please,
I did playboy when I was 48,

and now I'm considering
doing it again at 50.

Oh, look at you,

making jokes
to cheer me up.

Oh, you're serious.

- Thank you, ladies.
- Thank you.

Oh.

[Chuckles]
I've got yours.

Thank you.
That's very generous of you.

So you know
what you have to do.

Leave this bar,
leave that guy,

and leave this country.

I know, I know.

Oh, thank you,
miss Collins.

I can't tell you how much
talking to you

has helped me.

Anytime, darling.

You have my cell number?

- No.
- Perfect.

Here we go!

Oprah's favorite drink,

Moscow mules!

Here you go.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Ohh.
- Mm.

How are you doing?
You okay, baby?

You know,
I really am, Jude.

I mean,
I cried and screamed,

got it all out of my system
on the flight coming home.

Oh, you poor thing.
That's an 11-hour flight.

I was pretty comfortable,
though.

They bumped me
into first class

upon the request
of everyone in coach.

[Laughs]

That's my girl.

You know what I say?

Good riddance
to bad rubbish.

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay?

The man was a cheater.

- I know.
- Dirt. Slime.

And I swear, if he should ever
call me in again

to sing backup
on one of his little albums,

it is going to kill me
when I do it.

[Doorbell rings]

You know what the hardest part
about all this

is gonna be?

Where's my broken
little girl?

That bastard Elliot,

I'll beat the crap
out of him.

Cheating on my angel
with two women!

What were they...
Twins, Asians?

Ma, I'm fine.

It's you
that I'm worried about.

I mean,
you had your heart so set

on my getting married.

Oh, sweetheart,
I was worried about you.

Well, if you're fine,
then I'm fine.

Listen, you're a young,
beautiful woman.

You got plenty of time
to find someone else.

Well,
as long as you're okay, I mean,

I just know
you're gonna have to make

all kinds of excuses
to your friends.

I wish I could spare you
the embarrassment.

Oh, sweetheart,
when did I ever care

about what anyone thinks?

[Chuckles]

Well, you guys would've been
really proud of me.

I mean, I held my own.

Elliot made
all kinds of excuses,

but I wasn't buying 'em.

Good for you.

Yep, I told him
I need somebody that's faithful,

somebody that I can trust.

He doesn't deserve you.

Then I took
that six-carat engagement ring,

and I threw it
back in his face.

You okay?

You all right?

It's okay, Dori.
You're not bleeding.

On the outside.

How about I take the family
out to dinner?

Franny's choice.

Which olive garden
you want to go to?

That's a great idea,
daddy.

I could go
for a big bowl of pasta.

Or a salad.

Listen, darling,

now that you're getting
back on the horse,

you don't want
to snap its spine.

- Miss Fran.
- Yes?

I just ran into Mr. Neil,

and he said you needed
to talk to him.

Why do you need to talk to him?
What don't I know?

Just tell him to meet me
in the flower shop.

Okay.

But there is nothing
that you can do

that's going to keep me
from finding ou...

Oh, look, it's 6:00.
Bye-bye.

Hey, what happened to that box
with the diamond earrings

that Elliot gave me
that was here?

Judi.

What?
You felt so uncomfortable

keeping the engagement ring.

I couldn't imagine
you would feel good

about keeping these.

I'm not keeping them.
They're for someone else.

- Ah...
- Oh...

Not you either, ma.

Hello, neighbor.

Hello, Neil.

Thank you for coming.

The reason
why I asked you here

is because I wanted
to finish

what we started.

- Ooh, let's do it.
- No.

Not that.

I came to give you these.

You're giving me gifts
like I'm some boy toy?

This cheapens
what we have.

And I love it!

Focus, Neil.

This is to pay off the debt
on the property.

It's worth more
than I owe you,

so we're even.

Wow, I never actually thought
I'd be paid.

- Well...
- But if these are worth more,

I really should give you
the difference.

Well, Peter's been stealing
your Wi-Fi for months,

so use it for that.

How the devil
has he been doing...

Your password is "boobs."

It's not exactly
the Da Vinci Code.

Well, our, uh,
our debt is settled, then.

That's right.

Why are you still here,
Neil?

I just wanted to say
I'm very sorry.

Oh.
For what?

Well, I heard somewhere
that you're no longer engaged,

and it
must be heartbreaking.

Actually, I'm fine.

But thank you.
That's very decent of you.

After all,
you only broke it off

because of me.

What?

Well, obviously,
my kiss so rocked your world,

you couldn't go through
with marrying another man.

You are so full
of yourself.

You know, it's guys like you
that make me wish

I were into women.

Ooh.

Let's explore that.

Shut up.

Just shut up.

The reason why I broke off

my engagement
with Elliot

is because I found...

I found out
that he wasn't Jewish.

So it had nothing to do
with our kiss?

Nothing whatsoever.
That meant nothing.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

You might want to mention that
to your tongue.

Oh, my God.

Do you want to know
what it's like

when I'm really
into a kiss?

[Gasps]

I guess
you'll never know.

Wow.

Peter, we are debt-free.

Except for the house,
the cars,

the computers,
the discover card...

And of course,
those mountain bikes

you made us buy for
the mountains we never go to.

Wait a minute.

You paid off Neil
with those earrings?

Yes, I did,
and you know what?

It feels great.

I feel great.

I don't need a man
to complete me.

Mm-hmm.

I may never
get married again,

and it's okay.

Now I'm gonna put on
my eating pants,

and we can go.

Good.
I'm starved.

Judi, you coming with us
to dinner,

or you got a hot date?

[Cackles]

Yeah, I'll be there, G.

You guys go on ahead.

I'll wait here for Fran.

Peter, darling,

you have no idea
how comforting it is

for us to know

that no matter what
my baby goes through,

you will always
be here for her.

Even after we're gone.

Oh, Dori.

You're not gonna die
anytime soon.

I meant to Florida.

All right,
why don't you go on ahead?

And don't worry.

She is in great shape.

Do you think
I need a coat?

Better order without us!

What happened to you?
You were doing so well.

I don't know.

I went to the bedroom,
and there it was, hanging,

in a box under the bed.

Oh, Petey, I'm never gonna get
married again.

No man's
ever gonna love me.

Oh, honey, I know.

What do you mean,
you know?

What about, "of course
someone's gonna love you.

You're a beautiful,
vibrant woman"?

And you are.

Look, you look better now
than you did on our wedding day.

Really?

That is the first thing

I thought
when I just saw you.

Right after, "does Obama care
cover cray-cray?"

You know, I don't even care
if I'm alone

for the rest of my life.

But am I gonna be alone
for the rest of my life?

Honey, no.
Look at me.

Who ever would've thought
that I would find a man?

Certainly not me.

- [Both laugh]
- Don't worry.

I'm not going anywhere.

Oh, Petey, I had
my whole future mapped out

with Elliot,

and now I don't even get
to dance my first dance

as husband and wife.

Oh.

Never could've topped
ours anyway.

May I have this dance?

Again?

I'm not in the mood.

Come on, come on.

Come on, Franny.

You remember
how romantic it was?

It was very romantic.

[Sultry jazz music playing]

[record scratches]

['80s pop music playing]

[both laughing]

I love you.

I love you too.

Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0