All language subtitles for Happily Divorced s02e10 Fran-alyze This.eng

Happily Divorced is shot
before a live audience.

Oh.

It's for me.

Oh, boy, folks,
it's the end of an era.

Yup, Elliot,
my almost-love-of-my-life,

just friended me
on Facebook.

Well,
it's confirmed.

He's officially
just my friend.

Is that you
cutting Mr. Elliot off,

or cutting something off
of Mr. Elliot?

What happened to you saying
you were completely over him?

Saying, thinking,
lying.

Aw, you know what, franny?
I'm-a take you to same place

my mother used to take me when
I came home sad from school.

- Where?
- Happy hour, baby.

Oh, what's so happy about
sitting on my ass at a bar,

trying to make a $15 sprite
last for five hours?

Come on, franny,
let's go to the bar.

The drinks are half-off,
and the place

will be
crawling with men.

Oh, great, so my next husband
will be an alcoholic schnorrer?

No, Judi,
I got to get off of this

dating hamster wheel
already.

I think
for the next six months,

I'm just gonna do no men,
and no sex.

You know,
if you count time served,

you only have
a week left.

Oh.

Guess who just found
the perfect guy at the gym?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, Peter, what do you think
is gonna happen?

You think magically
you're gonna feel whole,

just because you've got some guy
on your arm?

You think that that is
what's going to make you happy?

Because if you do,
that's sad.

Very, very sad.

The guy is for you.

Jewish?

??? she was certain
that he was her one and only ???

??? but their union
always seemed a little forced ???

??? she got married anyway ???

??? turns out
that he was gay ???

??? they're still in love,
but now she's happily divorced ???

Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/

Well, this evening
couldn't be any more perfect.

A beautiful woman,
a fine paulliac,

and I got a cat-sitter
at short notice.

So you have a cat?

Yeah, I have an old dog.
A rescue.

Peter didn't want her.

Luckily he didn't want you,
either, or we wouldn't be here.

So tell me, Harold,
what do you do for fun?

I talk to dead people.

I'm a parapsychologist.
It's a hoot!

Well, uh, so, uh,
you study ghosts, huh?

Well, tell me, you know, like,
what if there was

something strange going on
in my neighborhood,

who am I gonna call?

Ah!

I-I don't follow.

It was a movie...
Eh, never mind.

I can get
another bottle.

No. No, um,

I have a very early appointment
in the morning,

and, look,
it's already...

6:15.

Ay.

See?
The night is young.

We have
three enchanted hours

before I have
to feed the meter.

Why risk
a $45 ticket?

Maybe we should go now.

Okay, you don't need to be
a PhD... although I am one...

To see
what's going on here.

Fran, first impressions
aren't my specialty,

but can I at least
entice you to stay

and have a simple dinner
with me?

Well, you did already
give them your groupon.

I know it seems as if
I'm coming on strong.

It's just, I get a little
nervous around stunning women.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Ah, headway.

Now that I'm on a roll,
do you like music, Fran?

Yes, I love music.

What's happening?

Stop!

What's wrong?

I got a text.
I got a text.

Oh, my God, my girlfriend
was in a terrible car accident.

I'm gonna have to go.

That's my phone.

Oh.

Boy, you are so cute
when you get caught.

Yeah,
how can I put this gently?

Harold...

This is a horrible date,

and we are never
gonna happen.

Playin' hard to get,
Ms. Lovett?

I love it!

You know what?

I'm gonna
go to the ladies' room.

If you'll excuse me.

There are bars
on the window.

But as long as
we're up,

what say
we trip the light fantastic?

Uh, but Harold, there's
no, uh, music here.

I'm sorry.

Ooh, look who's back
from her date.

Must have been sweet.

It was a horror!

Just out of curiosity,
what was it about that yutz

that you thought I would be
even remotely interested in?

It was the worst two hours
of my life.

Hmm,
it's after midnight.

If the date was two hours,
where you been?

I went to have a drink
with Judi.

- You had a drink with Judi?
- Uh-huh, yeah.

- Hmm.
- Got together.

- Yeah.
- Girl talk.

Sure.
How is Judi doing?

Oh, you know,
she's fine.

She was just feeling fat
in her jeans.

Piling up the carbs.
Poor girl needs some lovin'.

Oh.

Oh, look at this.

Oh, speak of the devil,
it's Judi.

Oh, look, she sent me
a picture of me.

Oh, boy, my ass looks huge
in that dress.

Which is this dress.

- Oh, Judi!
- Shut up.

Fran, why'd you make up
a whole story

about being with Judi?

I'll get it,

since I have to lose weight,
anyway.

I didn't want you
to worry.

I wanted to go to have a drink
by myself, all alone.

Fran, you left your jacket
in my car.

With Elliot.

Well, thanks for bringing me
back my jacket, Elliot.

I'm kind of glad
you left it.

Can't get
enough of me, huh?

Uh, Fran,
can we talk in private?

Oh, sure.

You know, Fran,
it's very late...

I'm really glad
you called, you know.

I've been wanting to talk to you
about something all night,

but I didn't know
if you'd be cool with it.

Oh, well,
now I'm intrigued.

Aren't you, Peter?

So, um, Fran, if you don't
want to, you don't have to.

I want to.

You don't know what it is,
yet.

I don't care.

You see, the thing is,
I started therapy...

- Mm-hmm.
- And it turns out that I have...

Commitment issues.

- Right.
- Yeah.

So my therapist thinks
it's best if I bring someone

who's been through this with me,
and so he said that...

Okay.

You didn't
let me finish.

Oh, sorry.
Go ahead.

So I was hoping
maybe tomorrow...

I'm free
in the morning.

The session's
in the afternoon.

Perfect.

- Great.
- Yeah.

- I'll text you the address.
- Okay.

Mwah.

Drive carefully.

Good seeing you!
Bye!

I love you.

Oh, wait! What time was it,
again?

Peter, did you hear?

He just said
"afternoon."

I don't believe you.

The guy shows up,
and he says, "Fran,

"hey, how 'bout
you go to therapy with me,

so I can get you all excited
again, so I can dump you?"

And what do you say?

"Sounds great,

what should I wear?"

Please, like I don't already
know what I'm gonna wear?

Who are you
divorced from?

What exactly
did you tell your therapist?

Um, well, you know, I told him
that I'm having difficulty

committing
to a stable relationship...

- Mm-hmm.
- And, you know,

that my mother
was always...

About me.

I told him
you were great, Fran.

In fact, thanks so much
for doing this.

Oh, listen,
what are friends for?

The important thing
is that we both know

this is your problem,
and we're here to fix you.

Good afternoon.

Oh, my God!

Look at this.
I just got a text.

My girlfriend was
in a terrible accident.

That's my phone.

Oh.

Dr. meyers,
this is...

Oh,
I know who this is.

You're a doctor?

You know,
a little dating tip,

you might want to open
with that, instead of,

"thank God
I found a cat-sitter."

Well, I want women to date me
for who I am,

not just because I can write
a prescription for Xanax.

Why? Would it have
made a difference?

Wait a second,
you two dated?

Yeah,
Peter fixed us up.

How does that
make you feel?

Jealous? Angry?
Longing for a commitment?

Look, I'm supposed to be
asking the questions.

Uh, Fran, sit down.

Although,
I'm not sure now

that I should continue
with this session,

given the nature
of our relationship.

Relationship?

Elliot, uh,
there are

many well-respected colleagues
of mine who would be happy to...

No, it's okay.
Maybe this is even better.

You two spent time
together.

So tell me, why would I
reject someone like this?

Yeah, why?

Well, Fran is
a very lovely woman.

She is intelligent,
beautiful, funny.

I can see how
you'd feel strongly about her.

He is
a very wise doctor.

But if
you're looking for a mature,

angst-free relationship
with this woman,

run now, run hard,
run fast.

How good can he be?
His office is above a quizno's.

Fran is attracted
to emotionally unavailable men.

It's quite common.
She wants what she can't have,

then when she gets it,
she doesn't want it anymore.

Listen, just because
we didn't hit it off...

Oh, I hit it off
quite well.

You rejected me, because
I was emotionally available.

Uh, okay.

Yeah, sarcasm.

Classic knee-jerk
defense mechanism.

Let me see, daddy's girl,
hyper-critical mother,

and aging pet
you sublimate for a child...

So?

So the root of your problem
is obvious.

Excuse me.

A-aren't we supposed to be
dealing with my issues?

Shh! We're having
a breakthrough here.

Go ahead, doctor.

The reason you are drawn
to unavailable men

is because of
the emotional devastation

you suffered
when Peter came out.

Well, you know,
I was shocked.

I don't know if I would say,
"devastated."

Oh, yes, you were.

He told me you tried to
run him over in the driveway.

That was an accident.
I couldn't see behind me.

He always leaves
the rearview mirror

pointing at his face.

Don't you see,
it's quite simple.

What prevents you
from opening up

to an attractive,
available,

renaissance man--
I.E., me--

is that you fear
ever reliving

the pain
that Peter caused you.

Oh, my God.
Doctor...

So what you're saying is,
all this is...

My fault?

Yes.

So you're saying
this yutz doctor

said that your problems
with Elliot are my fault?

Oh, so you admit
you set me up with a yutz?

Let me get this straight.

So even if you meet a guy,
and you fall in love,

and you get married,

and you go off to Australia,
and he gets eaten by a dingo,

it's still my fault
because I came out?

Yup.

For anybody here who thinks
being gay is a choice,

who would choose this?

So, darling...

Tell us about this doctor,
who wasn't good enough

for a 46-year-old woman
with no prospects.

Well, he thinks that
I go after unavailable men

because I am afraid
of getting hurt again,

the way Peter hurt me.

Franny,
cut Pete some slack.

He's a beautiful guy,
he cooked a delicious dinner,

and he made my favorite
chocolate chip cake.

Glen, I didn't have
time to bake.

Son of a bitch!

I think that we should
go to therapy together,

so that I can release

my unresolved
anger issues towards you,

and not want to back
over you with the prius.

I knew
that wasn't an accident!

Well, you know what?
I'm sorry, I can't.

I just got a whole bunch
of new listings.

You can't you make
a little time on tuesday?

No, completely booked
till friday.

Good, 'cause that's
when it is.

Oh, well,
I can't do friday,

because I am in an open house
right up until 5:00.

Perfect,
it's at 6:00.

Son of a bitch.

All right, everyone,
welcome.

As you know,
we're all here to overcome

our unresolved anger issues
from the past.

Why do we need
a helmet?

Fran,
we haven't begun yet.

Oh, sorry.

Now we need
a couple of volunteers to, uh...

- To help demonstrate...
- Batter up!

All right, now,
as everyone knows,

dealing with your anger
can save a marriage.

Oh, we're divorced.

Really?
For how long?

Well, ever since he woke me up
in the middle of the night,

after 18 years of marriage,
to come out.

Should I be wearing
a cup?

All right.
Now before we start...

You rejected me,
and ever since then,

I can only go after men
that don't want me,

so I won't get hurt.

Ow.

I guess we started.

Honey,
it's been two years,

and I didn't reject you,
I'm gay.

It's still a rejection!

Do you see
what I have to deal with?

Don't try to get them
on your side.

Okay, okay, so Peter is gay,
and Fran is feeling rejected.

But Fran, he only came out
two years ago.

So what does that
have to do with anything?

Well, rejection issues
usually stem from incidents

much deeper in your past.

You know, I think
you might be onto something.

Yes. Yes,
it's not about me.

It's deeper
in your past,

way, way, way before
I came out.

When we were 19...

Ah, crap.

We had been seeing each other
for six months,

and we cut calculus,

because the mcrib
had just been reintroduced,

and we were lying on the quad,
and I kissed you,

and you looked into my eyes
and you said,

"I love you...

But I'm not in love
with you."

- Ooh!
- Right?

And that made me want him
even more,

and got me
on this whole sick pattern

of going after men
who are unavailable.

Oh.

All right!
All right, all right!

How much longer
do I have to live with this?

I was confused,

you were moving too fast,
and I was scared!

Peter, express your anger
with the bat.

Oh, no, no,
I can't do that.

Because he has nothing
to be angry about.

Oh!

Fran, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.

It's just that
when you love someone so much

and they keep telling you
how you ruined their life,

it just gets to you.

Why do you think
I keep trying to set you up

and find you somebody?

Oh, I don't know,
to relieve your guilt?

No, it's because
I can't be happy

until I know
that you are happy too!

Aww!

I know!

Oh, Peter,
that's so sweet.

Maybe I have been
a little bit insensitive.

Thank you both
so much, that was very good.

Oh, thank you.

Yes, thank you.
That was very insightful.

You two
can sit down now.

No,
we're gonna go now,

'cause we're not really
that interested

in these other people's
problems.

You know, I'm really glad
we did that therapy.

- Oh, me too.
- I feel totally cleansed.

Now I understand
why I was obsessing on Elliot,

it's because
I can't have him...

- Hmm.
- Yet.

Most important,
you realized that blaming me

is not going to be healthy
for either one of us.

Yes, I do, and I...
I'm very sorry about that.

Here's to closing the door
on old wounds.

- To closure.
- Yay.

Ahh.

So when you said...

Wow.

When you said
that you loved me,

but you weren't
in love with me...

- Closure?
- Yeah, yeah, soon.

What did you mean?

Ugh, Fran, I don't know.
I was 19, I was a kid.

I wasn't ready.

I mean, you understand that,
don't you?

Yeah, I guess so.

Good night, sweetie.

But, Peter...

Were you ever...?

Madly and deeply
in love with you.

And to be honest,

it's still hard for me
to see you with another guy.

Ditto.

Good night, sweetie.

Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/

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