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1
00:00:00,454 --> 00:00:04,012
Happily Divorced is shot
before a live audience.
2
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,562
Oh, hurry up, boys.
This is it.
3
00:00:05,563 --> 00:00:07,290
Judi's commercial's
about to begin.
4
00:00:07,325 --> 00:00:09,018
- This is it! Quiet!
- Oh!
5
00:00:09,019 --> 00:00:11,586
[On tv]
when your lady parts
6
00:00:11,587 --> 00:00:14,033
have taken a snooze
7
00:00:14,034 --> 00:00:17,506
get yourself
some estrogen chews
8
00:00:17,507 --> 00:00:18,506
ooh!
9
00:00:18,541 --> 00:00:20,404
- That's great.
- Oh, Judi.
10
00:00:20,405 --> 00:00:22,471
- So good.
- You were great!
11
00:00:22,505 --> 00:00:25,770
Damn, I'm cute.
12
00:00:25,771 --> 00:00:26,803
In the old days,
13
00:00:26,838 --> 00:00:28,639
no one believed
in this hormone crap.
14
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,114
Women just turned
into men.
15
00:00:31,148 --> 00:00:32,314
Oh, Judi,
16
00:00:32,349 --> 00:00:34,818
I think you're gonna get
a lot of work fr this.
17
00:00:34,819 --> 00:00:36,954
Next you'll be doing
activia commercials
18
00:00:36,955 --> 00:00:38,959
and those pants
that ladies use
19
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,493
when they pee a little
after they laugh.
20
00:00:41,527 --> 00:00:43,897
[Laughter]
21
00:00:48,771 --> 00:00:51,107
Well, I'm headed home now.
22
00:00:51,108 --> 00:00:52,508
Oh, no, Cesar. Stay.
23
00:00:52,509 --> 00:00:54,143
We just bought champagne
for everyone.
24
00:00:54,144 --> 00:00:55,377
Oh, no, I can't.
25
00:00:55,378 --> 00:00:56,913
I promised my wife
I'd go home
26
00:00:56,914 --> 00:00:58,816
because her mother
is coming.
27
00:00:58,817 --> 00:01:03,319
Oh, hell yeah,
I'll have some booze.
28
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:04,886
So, Judi, who was that
great-looking guy
29
00:01:04,887 --> 00:01:06,188
that played your husband?
30
00:01:06,222 --> 00:01:07,389
His name is Scotty.
31
00:01:07,390 --> 00:01:08,691
He lives on sweetzer,
32
00:01:08,692 --> 00:01:10,992
and he has a puggle that wears
a burberry sweater.
33
00:01:10,993 --> 00:01:12,427
That's him.
34
00:01:12,428 --> 00:01:13,694
He brought the dog
to the set.
35
00:01:13,695 --> 00:01:14,862
I was hitting on him
all day.
36
00:01:14,863 --> 00:01:16,530
Why didn't he just say
he was gay?
37
00:01:16,531 --> 00:01:20,799
You couldn't put the pieces
of the puggle together?
38
00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:22,033
I don't know.
39
00:01:22,034 --> 00:01:23,467
Why didn't that guy
just tell me the truth?
40
00:01:23,502 --> 00:01:25,636
Judi, it's not something
you can just blurt out.
41
00:01:25,637 --> 00:01:27,572
You think I just woke up
d said, "I'm gay"?
42
00:01:27,606 --> 00:01:30,374
No, you woke me up instead.
43
00:01:30,408 --> 00:01:32,210
Fran, come on.
We have guests.
44
00:01:32,211 --> 00:01:33,545
You really want to get
into all the...
45
00:01:33,546 --> 00:01:35,113
Okay, all right.
46
00:01:35,147 --> 00:01:36,382
You're right.
47
00:01:36,383 --> 00:01:37,983
Tonight's Judi's night.
48
00:01:38,017 --> 00:01:39,818
Me!
[Laughter]
49
00:01:39,819 --> 00:01:42,521
But I've always
been curious.
50
00:01:42,522 --> 00:01:43,689
Why?
51
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:46,491
Why that night,
after 18 years of marriage,
52
00:01:46,492 --> 00:01:48,226
did you decide
was the perfect night
53
00:01:48,227 --> 00:01:50,661
to rip my kishkas out?
54
00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:52,496
Fran, it's old news.
55
00:01:52,497 --> 00:01:54,498
Come on.
The point is, I came out.
56
00:01:54,499 --> 00:01:56,599
Who really cares
about the details?
57
00:01:58,669 --> 00:02:02,437
Look, all I remember
is coming back
58
00:02:02,438 --> 00:02:04,305
from my therapist's office
59
00:02:04,306 --> 00:02:07,075
and forcing myself
to put on a happy face
60
00:02:07,076 --> 00:02:10,279
and act like
everything was fine.
61
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,515
Oh, God.
62
00:02:13,516 --> 00:02:15,718
Oh God, oh God,
oh God, oh God
63
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,787
[panting]
64
00:02:19,758 --> 00:02:22,760
Oh, God.
65
00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:28,766
Peter, is that you?
Where are you?
66
00:02:28,767 --> 00:02:32,603
In the closet.
67
00:02:32,637 --> 00:02:35,005
[Upbeat music]
68
00:02:35,039 --> 00:02:37,073
she was certain
that he was
69
00:02:37,108 --> 00:02:39,542
her one and only
70
00:02:39,543 --> 00:02:41,877
but their union
always seemed
71
00:02:41,878 --> 00:02:44,112
a little forced
72
00:02:44,113 --> 00:02:47,882
she got married anyway
73
00:02:47,883 --> 00:02:49,451
turns out
that he was gay
74
00:02:49,452 --> 00:02:50,953
they're still in love
75
00:02:50,954 --> 00:02:53,789
but now she's
happily divorced
76
00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:55,658
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
77
00:02:55,659 --> 00:02:57,661
Oh, hey, sweetie.
78
00:02:57,662 --> 00:02:58,762
How'd it go at therapy?
79
00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:00,597
Good. Good, good, good,
good, good.
80
00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,599
Mwah.
81
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,134
So what did he say
about those headaches
82
00:03:04,135 --> 00:03:05,202
that you're having?
83
00:03:05,236 --> 00:03:06,971
Yeah, he said
there's a possibility
84
00:03:06,972 --> 00:03:10,775
that I'm not getting
enough sleep.
85
00:03:10,776 --> 00:03:12,277
Of course you're not getting
enough sleep.
86
00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:13,845
I mean,
you spend half the night
87
00:03:13,846 --> 00:03:15,714
having those
terrible nightmares
88
00:03:15,715 --> 00:03:19,852
where you're screaming
at Ryan Gosling.
89
00:03:19,886 --> 00:03:24,156
What's he doing to you
in those dreams?
90
00:03:24,157 --> 00:03:26,692
Franny, you know what?
91
00:03:26,693 --> 00:03:28,861
I'm really not supposed
to talk about this.
92
00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:32,198
It's, uh, doctor-patient
confidentiality.
93
00:03:32,199 --> 00:03:34,768
Oh, that's for the doctor,
not for you.
94
00:03:34,769 --> 00:03:36,770
You know, sweetie,
I've been thinking.
95
00:03:36,771 --> 00:03:37,971
I mean,
you've been going to him
96
00:03:37,972 --> 00:03:39,640
for six years already.
97
00:03:39,641 --> 00:03:42,209
Maybe it's time we think
about you switching.
98
00:03:45,446 --> 00:03:47,080
I don't want to switch.
I like things the way they are.
99
00:03:47,081 --> 00:03:48,915
Want to have intercourse?
100
00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:50,951
Okay.
101
00:03:50,952 --> 00:03:53,487
Both: [Giggling]
102
00:03:53,521 --> 00:03:56,457
- [Doorbell rings]
- Oh, crap.
103
00:03:59,694 --> 00:04:00,761
Oh, it's Judi.
104
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:01,795
Ah.
105
00:04:01,796 --> 00:04:04,030
Judi, how'd the audition go?
106
00:04:04,031 --> 00:04:06,699
They said I was all wrong
for the character.
107
00:04:06,734 --> 00:04:10,637
Oh, sweetie,
I'm so sorry.
108
00:04:10,638 --> 00:04:12,305
What was the part?
109
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,874
Black woman.
110
00:04:20,248 --> 00:04:22,717
Oh, come on, Judi.
What do they know?
111
00:04:22,718 --> 00:04:24,585
You know, the head of mgm
said Judy Garland
112
00:04:24,586 --> 00:04:28,556
was too fat,
and she had a hump.
113
00:04:28,557 --> 00:04:31,691
How do you know so much
about Judy Garland?
114
00:04:31,692 --> 00:04:35,729
Just stuff guys know.
115
00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:38,865
Judi.
Hey, I got an idea.
116
00:04:38,866 --> 00:04:40,499
Why don't we go
to Victoria's secret?
117
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,334
Weould pretend
it's our birthdays
118
00:04:42,335 --> 00:04:45,036
to get the free pantie
119
00:04:45,037 --> 00:04:47,539
nah, they're on to me.
120
00:04:47,573 --> 00:04:52,043
Just like every casting agent
is in this business.
121
00:04:52,044 --> 00:04:53,745
You know,
I haven't got it.
122
00:04:53,746 --> 00:04:55,113
I'm not wasting
any more time
123
00:04:55,114 --> 00:04:56,181
going on auditions.
124
00:04:56,182 --> 00:04:57,215
I'm done.
125
00:04:57,249 --> 00:04:59,651
Oh, no.
Judi, you're crazy.
126
00:04:59,652 --> 00:05:00,886
You're so talented.
127
00:05:02,822 --> 00:05:05,190
For the rest of your life,
like I did.
128
00:05:05,191 --> 00:05:06,658
Why do you think
I decided
129
00:05:06,659 --> 00:05:08,694
not to go to Juilliard?
130
00:05:08,695 --> 00:05:09,928
Because you can't sing,
you can't dance,
131
00:05:09,929 --> 00:05:12,565
and you can't act?
132
00:05:12,566 --> 00:05:15,568
Says them.
133
00:05:15,569 --> 00:05:18,204
I'm sorry, Fran.
My mind is made up.
134
00:05:18,239 --> 00:05:19,606
Hey, Judi, don't you think
you should take some time
135
00:05:19,607 --> 00:05:20,606
and think about this?
136
00:05:20,608 --> 00:05:21,708
Come on,
you walk into an office,
137
00:05:21,709 --> 00:05:24,011
one person says
this devastating news,
138
00:05:24,012 --> 00:05:26,913
and you're just supposed
to accept it?
139
00:05:26,948 --> 00:05:28,982
Yeah. Did it ever occur
to you
140
00:05:28,983 --> 00:05:31,351
that the man
could be wrong?
141
00:05:31,385 --> 00:05:32,384
Yeah.
142
00:05:32,386 --> 00:05:34,520
You can play black woman.
143
00:05:34,521 --> 00:05:37,656
You're an actress.
144
00:05:37,657 --> 00:05:39,791
Judi, I just don't think
it's smart to just rush
145
00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:42,127
into a life-changing decision
like this.
146
00:05:42,161 --> 00:05:43,628
Listen to him.
147
00:05:43,662 --> 00:05:45,163
Yeah, take some time.
Think about it.
148
00:05:45,164 --> 00:05:46,264
Take a week.
149
00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:48,934
- Take a month.
- 18 years.
150
00:05:48,968 --> 00:05:51,170
What kind of a schnook
takes 18 years
151
00:05:51,171 --> 00:05:52,805
to make a decision?
152
00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:54,507
Judi. Who doou think
we're talking about?
153
00:05:54,508 --> 00:05:56,982
Don't make this
about me, Fran.
154
00:05:57,011 --> 00:05:58,984
What's the matter
th you?
155
00:05:59,014 --> 00:06:00,280
I don't know.
Ask my therapist.
156
00:06:03,619 --> 00:06:06,253
It's time I took
a long, hard look in the mirror
157
00:06:06,254 --> 00:06:09,022
and faced the truth
about myself.
158
00:06:09,023 --> 00:06:10,190
I'm sorry,
159
00:06:10,224 --> 00:06:12,592
but it's damn obvious
what I need to do.
160
00:06:12,627 --> 00:06:14,193
You know what?
161
00:06:14,194 --> 00:06:16,362
She's right.
162
00:06:16,363 --> 00:06:18,764
She does need to do
those things.
163
00:06:18,765 --> 00:06:20,098
You knowhat?
It's her life,
164
00:06:20,099 --> 00:06:22,400
and we just need
to butt out.
165
00:06:22,401 --> 00:06:25,403
- But...
- Out.
166
00:06:29,898 --> 00:06:31,832
Well, obviously, all of this
led to me telling Fran.
167
00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,735
I just don't remember
what the exact trigger was.
168
00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:37,072
I remember I had
my usual oatmeal that morning.
169
00:06:37,073 --> 00:06:39,307
I had switched to the lactaid
because I was having...
170
00:06:39,341 --> 00:06:41,175
Pete!
171
00:06:41,210 --> 00:06:42,944
When the hell
are you coming out already?
172
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,879
I been ltening to this saga
for 45 minutes.
173
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,781
At my age,
that's a big chunk
174
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:49,783
of what I got left.
175
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:50,783
Daddy, give him a chance.
176
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,186
He's trying to tell
a story.
177
00:06:53,221 --> 00:06:54,488
But he has a point.
178
00:06:54,489 --> 00:06:56,156
You're no
hans Christian andersen.
179
00:06:56,157 --> 00:06:58,058
Speed it up.
180
00:06:58,059 --> 00:07:00,293
Franny, I don't know
what you're hoping to hear.
181
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:01,962
Look, is this really
important anyway?
182
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,097
Listen to your husband.
183
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,866
What does itatter
why he did what he did
184
00:07:04,867 --> 00:07:05,900
when he did it?
185
00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:08,236
He's not doing you.
Move on.
186
00:07:08,271 --> 00:07:10,172
Fran, look,
I am sorry.
187
00:07:10,173 --> 00:07:11,707
I can't remember
every little detail
188
00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:13,809
of a very turbulent time
in my life.
189
00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:16,345
It's not like I had
a tape recorder running 24/7
190
00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:17,814
to get every little word.
191
00:07:17,815 --> 00:07:19,715
No, you didn't,
but I have a feeling
192
00:07:19,716 --> 00:07:21,984
we've got
the next best thing.
193
00:07:24,621 --> 00:07:27,490
Why are you looking
at me?
194
00:07:27,491 --> 00:07:31,761
It was unusually warm
that day.
195
00:07:31,796 --> 00:07:34,797
We were sitting
in the flower shop.
196
00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:37,900
Hola, Mr. Peter.
197
00:07:37,901 --> 00:07:39,268
Oh, hey, Cesar.
198
00:07:39,269 --> 00:07:41,103
Your wife told me
to order lunch for us.
199
00:07:41,104 --> 00:07:42,171
Would you like a taco,
200
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:45,375
or would you prefer
a burrito?
201
00:07:45,376 --> 00:07:46,443
What's that
supposed to mean?
202
00:07:46,444 --> 00:07:49,179
What have you heard?
203
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:50,648
Nothing.
I'm just giving you a choice.
204
00:07:50,682 --> 00:07:52,249
It's not a choice.
205
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:53,617
I am a taco man,
206
00:07:53,618 --> 00:07:56,720
and I shall stay
a taco man.
207
00:07:56,721 --> 00:07:58,490
Hey.
208
00:07:58,491 --> 00:08:00,058
Oh, hi, girls.
Where you been?
209
00:08:00,059 --> 00:08:02,360
Oh, I'm just coming back
with Judi from her new job
210
00:08:02,361 --> 00:08:04,429
at the short stack
pancake house.
211
00:08:04,463 --> 00:08:05,797
I had a belgian waffle,
212
00:08:05,798 --> 00:08:07,165
buttermilk pancakes,
213
00:08:07,166 --> 00:08:09,400
and cream-cheese-filled
french toast
214
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:13,004
to show how supportive
am of her new life.
215
00:08:13,005 --> 00:08:16,908
You know, half a grapefruit
is just as supportive.
216
00:08:16,942 --> 00:08:20,345
You ow nothing
about friendship, Peter.
217
00:08:20,379 --> 00:08:21,813
Well, you do, franny,
218
00:08:21,814 --> 00:08:23,414
because I know how much
you were against me
219
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:26,117
giving up singing
and getting a regular job.
220
00:08:26,152 --> 00:08:28,253
Judi, if you're happy,
221
00:08:28,254 --> 00:08:29,921
I'm happy.
222
00:08:29,955 --> 00:08:32,390
- But...
- Out.
223
00:08:32,391 --> 00:08:33,424
Well, I'm happy.
224
00:08:33,425 --> 00:08:35,026
For the first time
in my life,
225
00:08:35,027 --> 00:08:36,861
I've got money
in my pockets.
226
00:08:36,862 --> 00:08:39,097
Actually, I've got money
in my new purse.
227
00:08:39,098 --> 00:08:40,132
Oh.
228
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:41,333
I've got these sunglasses.
229
00:08:41,334 --> 00:08:43,368
I've got new shoes.
230
00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:45,137
Mm, new perfume.
You smell great.
231
00:08:45,138 --> 00:08:46,372
What is that?
232
00:08:46,406 --> 00:08:48,608
Bacon.
233
00:08:48,642 --> 00:08:50,643
Well, Judi,
it looks like you made
234
00:08:50,644 --> 00:08:51,811
the right decision.
235
00:08:51,812 --> 00:08:53,646
And all of this
after just four days
236
00:08:53,647 --> 00:08:55,181
of servjng pancakes.
237
00:08:55,182 --> 00:08:57,917
Are they still hiring?
238
00:08:59,787 --> 00:09:01,587
Check out my tag.
239
00:09:01,588 --> 00:09:03,089
Assistant manager.
240
00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:05,191
[Chuckles]
It says "ass. Manager".
241
00:09:05,192 --> 00:09:08,328
[Laughing heartily]
242
00:09:08,362 --> 00:09:10,997
Congratulations.
243
00:09:10,998 --> 00:09:13,465
Yeah, congratulations, Judi.
Well done.
244
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,233
Thank you, Petey.
Well, I gotta go.
245
00:09:15,234 --> 00:09:16,868
I cked up other shift.
246
00:09:16,869 --> 00:09:18,803
You know when you're
gainfully employed,
247
00:09:18,804 --> 00:09:22,307
they just
give you credit cards?
248
00:09:22,308 --> 00:09:24,810
I'm livin' the dream, baby!
249
00:09:24,811 --> 00:09:28,514
Livin' the dream.
250
00:09:28,515 --> 00:09:30,650
What are you doing?
251
00:09:30,651 --> 00:09:32,652
Why are you
encouraging her?
252
00:09:32,686 --> 00:09:35,355
Judi is a performer.
253
00:09:35,356 --> 00:09:37,991
She's repressing
her true self.
254
00:09:38,026 --> 00:09:39,960
Well, what's wrong
with that?
255
00:09:39,961 --> 00:09:42,929
I mean, yoknow,
it's eauier being a waitress.
256
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,799
It's... it's acceptable,
and it's respectable.
257
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,068
And... andt makes
everybody happy.
258
00:09:48,069 --> 00:09:49,770
So from now on,
when someone dangles
259
00:09:49,771 --> 00:09:51,438
a big microphone
in front of her face,
260
00:09:51,439 --> 00:09:52,539
she just has to say
to herself,
261
00:09:52,540 --> 00:09:55,541
"no, I am a waitress."
262
00:09:58,945 --> 00:10:00,012
Hey, wait a minute.
263
00:10:00,046 --> 00:10:01,980
Did you get into our
special brownies?
264
00:10:01,981 --> 00:10:05,984
'Cause I was saving that
for new year's.
265
00:10:05,985 --> 00:10:07,052
No.
266
00:10:07,087 --> 00:10:08,421
Well, I know you, Peter.
267
00:10:08,422 --> 00:10:10,891
Something's up.
What is it?
268
00:10:10,892 --> 00:10:11,891
Is it work?
269
00:10:11,926 --> 00:10:13,127
No.
270
00:10:13,161 --> 00:10:16,664
Is it me?
271
00:10:16,665 --> 00:10:18,032
Oh, God, no.
272
00:10:18,066 --> 00:10:20,801
Are you regular?
273
00:10:23,339 --> 00:10:26,675
I'm trying to be.
274
00:10:31,556 --> 00:10:33,724
Anyway, that's how
I remember it.
275
00:10:33,725 --> 00:10:36,827
At least, that's all I heard
through the refrigerator glass,
276
00:10:36,828 --> 00:10:38,196
because this was
before I tricked you
277
00:10:38,197 --> 00:10:41,566
into installing those vent
278
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:42,934
okay.
279
00:10:42,935 --> 00:10:46,904
This is why you shouldn't drink
at work functions.
280
00:10:46,905 --> 00:10:48,339
But you know, Pete,
281
00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:50,541
you were so angry
that day,
282
00:10:50,576 --> 00:10:51,976
and I kept thinking,
"is it me?"
283
00:10:51,977 --> 00:10:54,779
But I'd never done
a single horrible thing to you
284
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,849
that I didn't cover
my tracks on.
285
00:10:57,883 --> 00:10:59,083
Fran, it was not you.
286
00:10:59,084 --> 00:11:00,584
It was everything
I was going through.
287
00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:02,219
Must've been torture
for you.
288
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:05,255
Oh, my God, Dori.
I just got a text.
289
00:11:05,256 --> 00:11:07,724
Our complex is on fire.
We need to go.
290
00:11:07,725 --> 00:11:09,092
Daddy.
291
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,094
Your phone
doesn't get texting.
292
00:11:11,095 --> 00:11:15,232
You didn't want to pay
the $1.99 a month, remember?
293
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:18,268
I'm paying for it now.
294
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,970
The thing
that gets me, Pete,
295
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,305
is that you did everything
but hold up a sign.
296
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:25,608
Was I a total idiot?
297
00:11:25,609 --> 00:11:27,310
Fran, I was freaking out,
298
00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:29,646
and I was not being direct
with you.
299
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,481
Hindsight is 20/20.
300
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,250
Well, that's true.
301
00:11:33,251 --> 00:11:35,652
I guess at the time,
none of us knew.
302
00:11:35,686 --> 00:11:39,188
All: Well...
303
00:11:39,189 --> 00:11:41,224
I just know
that Judi is making
304
00:11:41,225 --> 00:11:43,192
a huge mistake.
305
00:11:43,193 --> 00:11:45,094
Maybe she wasn't meant
to be a performer,
306
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,162
just like you.
307
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,397
What are you saying?
I stunk?
308
00:11:48,431 --> 00:11:50,499
No, you just did.
309
00:11:52,502 --> 00:11:54,135
But you said
you loved me
310
00:11:54,136 --> 00:11:58,240
when I was in dreamgirls
at the temple.
311
00:11:58,241 --> 00:11:59,375
It's because
your mother and I
312
00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:02,378
are wonderful actors.
313
00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:05,716
Which is why
it's so surprising you stunk.
314
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:08,753
Okay, okay.
We're talking about Judi here.
315
00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:11,256
I gotta convince her
not to give up on herself.
316
00:12:11,291 --> 00:12:13,726
And Peter's no help,
the big dope.
317
00:12:13,727 --> 00:12:15,894
Keeps agreeing with her.
318
00:12:15,895 --> 00:12:17,796
I don't know
who he is anymore.
319
00:12:17,797 --> 00:12:21,267
Lately it seems like
we're on opposite teams.
320
00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,505
Really. Opposite teams?
321
00:12:25,506 --> 00:12:27,874
And why do you think
that is?
322
00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:29,742
I have no idea.
323
00:12:29,743 --> 00:12:33,413
Don't know
what's gotten into him
324
00:12:33,414 --> 00:12:36,816
let's just say that Peter
might be going through
325
00:12:36,817 --> 00:12:37,917
some inner turmoil.
326
00:12:37,918 --> 00:12:39,686
I knew a guy like that
in the army.
327
00:12:39,687 --> 00:12:40,921
Oh, really?
328
00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:42,723
What was his story?
329
00:12:42,724 --> 00:12:47,095
I didn't ask,
and he didn't tell.
330
00:12:47,129 --> 00:12:50,599
What does that have to do
with Peter?
331
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,401
Why do you keep looking
at each other?
332
00:12:52,402 --> 00:12:55,237
We're in love, darling.
333
00:12:55,238 --> 00:12:56,939
Now, if you really want to know
what's going on
334
00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:57,939
with your husband,
335
00:12:57,941 --> 00:13:00,008
sit down and ask him...
336
00:13:00,009 --> 00:13:03,445
While your breasts
are still perky.
337
00:13:03,446 --> 00:13:05,313
Peter's not a boob man.
338
00:13:05,347 --> 00:13:07,815
Makes sense.
339
00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:09,884
And besides,
what does that have to do
340
00:13:09,885 --> 00:13:12,620
with Peter and I fighting
over Judi's decision?
341
00:13:12,621 --> 00:13:14,455
Look, sweetheart.
342
00:13:14,456 --> 00:13:17,459
No person can ever deny
who they truly are.
343
00:13:17,493 --> 00:13:20,628
The truth eventually...
344
00:13:20,629 --> 00:13:22,631
Comes out.
345
00:13:22,632 --> 00:13:24,900
Oh, ma.
346
00:13:24,901 --> 00:13:27,136
I think now I know
what you've been trying
347
00:13:27,137 --> 00:13:28,638
to tell mf.
348
00:13:28,639 --> 00:13:31,641
Halle-frickin'-lujah.
349
00:13:34,145 --> 00:13:35,345
Now you kotta figure out
a way
350
00:13:35,346 --> 00:13:37,680
to give the truth
a little nudge.
351
00:13:37,715 --> 00:13:39,816
You're so right, ma.
352
00:13:39,817 --> 00:13:40,917
Yeah!
[Laughing]
353
00:13:40,918 --> 00:13:44,253
I gotta nudge Judi
into singing ain
354
00:13:44,254 --> 00:13:47,990
so she can stop being
in denial.
355
00:13:48,024 --> 00:13:51,360
Then Peter and I
can go back
356
00:13:51,361 --> 00:13:53,495
to our normal, happy lives.
357
00:13:53,496 --> 00:13:57,865
See you later.
358
00:13:57,866 --> 00:14:00,268
Maybe the deviated septum
goes all the way up
359
00:14:00,269 --> 00:14:02,971
to her brain.
360
00:14:10,713 --> 00:14:12,681
- Hey.
- Hi.
361
00:14:12,682 --> 00:14:13,682
Nice place.
362
00:14:13,716 --> 00:14:14,984
Yeah, I thought because
363
00:14:14,985 --> 00:14:17,453
we we taking Judi out
to celebrate her promotion,
364
00:14:17,454 --> 00:14:19,522
we might as well
try someplace new.
365
00:14:19,523 --> 00:14:21,291
- And?
- And what?
366
00:14:24,562 --> 00:14:25,895
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
367
00:14:25,896 --> 00:14:27,397
I had no idea.
368
00:14:27,398 --> 00:14:28,499
Oy, I hope Judi
doesn't think
369
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,634
that I invited her here
on purpose
370
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:31,836
just so th
I could get her to...
371
00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:33,538
Oh, cut the crap.
372
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,239
Who you talking to?
373
00:14:35,273 --> 00:14:36,974
All rit, all right.
374
00:14:36,975 --> 00:14:38,576
Just play alg, would ya?
375
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:39,677
That's a good-looking
burger.
376
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:40,878
Why have we never eaten here?
377
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,979
'Cause it's a y bar.
378
00:14:42,980 --> 00:14:44,548
What's the matter?
Why'd you get all stiff?
379
00:14:44,549 --> 00:14:45,782
I'm not stiff.
Nothing's stiff.
380
00:14:45,783 --> 00:14:48,784
I like women.
381
00:14:54,485 --> 00:14:57,953
So now the story
is picking up.
382
00:14:57,987 --> 00:15:01,067
Pete, your first time
in a man bar.
383
00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:03,528
So did you take anyone home
that night?
384
00:15:03,559 --> 00:15:06,561
Yeah, me.
385
00:15:09,331 --> 00:15:11,298
Why are you looking up
at the ceiling?
386
00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:12,500
I don't want
to make eye contact
387
00:15:12,501 --> 00:15:13,734
with any of the guys here.
388
00:15:13,735 --> 00:15:16,736
I don't want
to turn them on.
389
00:15:16,737 --> 00:15:17,838
Please.
390
00:15:17,839 --> 00:15:19,206
The only reason
why any of these guys
391
00:15:19,207 --> 00:15:20,841
would want to rip
your clothes off
392
00:15:20,842 --> 00:15:23,043
is because they're appalled
by a sweater vest
393
00:15:23,044 --> 00:15:26,114
and corduroys.
394
00:15:26,115 --> 00:15:28,386
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
395
00:15:28,418 --> 00:15:29,651
First round is on me,
396
00:15:29,652 --> 00:15:31,855
on my new korean air
Visa card.
397
00:15:31,856 --> 00:15:34,600
Bam!
398
00:15:34,625 --> 00:15:36,660
Oh, no.
399
00:15:36,661 --> 00:15:37,728
This is on us.
400
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,563
You're not paying
for anything.
401
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,732
We're here to celebrate
your new lif
402
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:44,777
so you bring me
to a gay bar?
403
00:15:44,803 --> 00:15:46,370
Just how new
did you think my life
404
00:15:46,371 --> 00:15:48,781
was gonna get?
405
00:15:48,807 --> 00:15:51,809
Judi, we're just so proud
of you.
406
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:54,578
You made such
a life-changing decision.
407
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:55,880
You know,
it takes a lot of guts.
408
00:15:55,881 --> 00:15:58,149
A lot of people...
Oh, look at this.
409
00:15:58,150 --> 00:16:01,185
It's open mic night.
410
00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:02,962
Seriously?
411
00:16:02,988 --> 00:16:04,722
Yeah, look.
412
00:16:04,757 --> 00:16:07,826
This is why you dragged
my ass down here?
413
00:16:07,827 --> 00:16:10,396
You think I'm gonna get
on the stage and sing
414
00:16:10,397 --> 00:16:12,138
and get the bug
all over again.
415
00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:14,434
That's the plan.
416
00:16:14,468 --> 00:16:15,769
Well, that's a bad plan,
417
00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:17,837
because I don't do that
anymore.
418
00:16:17,838 --> 00:16:19,506
And even if I did,
when I sing,
419
00:16:19,507 --> 00:16:21,341
you know,
I have certaintandards.
420
00:16:21,342 --> 00:16:22,976
What? Holding a stack
of pancakes
421
00:16:22,977 --> 00:16:26,212
with a candle in it?
422
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:28,487
Come on, Judi.
Do it for me.
423
00:16:28,515 --> 00:16:30,116
Really?
Are you guys kidding?
424
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:31,751
Hey, I had nothing
to do with it, Judi.
425
00:16:31,785 --> 00:16:33,319
I didn't choose this place.
Why would I?
426
00:16:38,459 --> 00:16:42,062
Judi, you can't deny
who you really are.
427
00:16:42,063 --> 00:16:44,131
You've got to follow
your heart,
428
00:16:44,132 --> 00:16:46,567
or you'll never be happy.
429
00:16:46,602 --> 00:16:48,836
Right?
430
00:16:48,837 --> 00:16:50,238
Right.
431
00:16:50,272 --> 00:16:52,707
Now, I put your name
on the list,
432
00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,743
and I evenhose our song.
433
00:16:54,744 --> 00:16:56,979
If you don't get up there
d sing, I will.
434
00:16:57,014 --> 00:16:58,114
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
435
00:16:58,115 --> 00:17:00,984
Don't threaten me.
436
00:17:00,985 --> 00:17:02,819
All right.
437
00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:05,255
Okay, boys,
I'ma dedicate this song
438
00:17:05,256 --> 00:17:09,259
to the person
that's making me sing it.
439
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:12,295
[Wind beneath my wings
playing]
440
00:17:12,296 --> 00:17:13,497
441
00:17:13,498 --> 00:17:15,932
did you ever know
442
00:17:15,966 --> 00:17:21,004
that you're my hero
443
00:17:21,005 --> 00:17:24,908
and everything I
would like to be
444
00:17:28,412 --> 00:17:30,947
I can fly higher
445
00:17:30,948 --> 00:17:34,484
higher than an eagle
446
00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:43,020
'cause you are the wind
beneath my wings
447
00:17:43,394 --> 00:17:45,462
oh, look at her, Peter.
448
00:17:45,463 --> 00:17:47,898
This is where Judi belongs.
449
00:17:47,899 --> 00:17:50,434
This is who
she really is.
450
00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:53,938
"To thine own self be true."
451
00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:56,773
[Sighs]
452
00:17:56,774 --> 00:17:58,842
If there's one thing
I know,
453
00:17:58,843 --> 00:18:01,664
it's people.
454
00:18:06,916 --> 00:18:09,484
So the only reason
that Mr. Peter
455
00:18:09,485 --> 00:18:10,918
had the courage
to come out
456
00:18:10,919 --> 00:18:13,454
is because
you pushed miss Judi.
457
00:18:13,455 --> 00:18:15,156
So he didn't ruin
your life.
458
00:18:15,157 --> 00:18:17,324
You ruined your own life.
459
00:18:17,325 --> 00:18:19,793
[Laughing]
460
00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:20,895
I'll make it easy
on you.
461
00:18:20,896 --> 00:18:24,145
I quit.
462
00:18:26,135 --> 00:18:27,269
Cesar's right.
463
00:18:27,270 --> 00:18:29,237
That was it.
464
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:31,807
That's what gave me the guts
to tell you that night.
465
00:18:31,808 --> 00:18:35,344
How about that?
466
00:18:35,345 --> 00:18:38,815
If I hadn't done
what I did,
467
00:18:38,816 --> 00:18:41,885
we'd still be living
as man and wife,
468
00:18:41,919 --> 00:18:44,454
instead of man and...
469
00:18:44,455 --> 00:18:46,751
Schmuck.
470
00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:48,659
Isn't that funny?
471
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:50,060
It's one of those
great stories
472
00:18:50,061 --> 00:18:52,062
we'll tell our grand...
473
00:18:52,063 --> 00:18:55,298
Heh. Never mind.
474
00:18:55,299 --> 00:18:57,100
So we don't have
grandchildren.
475
00:18:57,101 --> 00:18:58,835
We have...
476
00:18:58,836 --> 00:19:04,835
Whatever the hell
this is.
477
00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:06,811
Fran? You okay?
478
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,380
Oh, yeah, yeah.
479
00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:11,416
Oh, Petey, I'm...
480
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:14,486
I'm... I'm glad
that I helped you
481
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,088
to find your true self.
482
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:18,190
I-I am.
483
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:21,260
I really couldn't have done it
without you.
484
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,563
Thank you, Fran.
485
00:19:23,564 --> 00:19:25,898
And you do know...
486
00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:27,400
I love you.
487
00:19:27,401 --> 00:19:29,368
I always have,
and I always will.
488
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:32,371
Yes. Me too, you.
489
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,410
Ugh, can you imagine
what it would be like
490
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:39,544
if I hadn't come out?
491
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,613
Oh, you would've been
so frustrated.
492
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,882
- We would've started bickering.
- Mm.
493
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,750
Then we would've slept
in separate bedrooms,
494
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,719
not having sex,
stuck in this house tokether.
495
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,719
Mm.
496
00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:52,990
Oy, did we dodge a bullet.
497
00:19:56,559 --> 00:19:58,680
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
498
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:03,280
Repair and Synchronization by
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