All language subtitles for Happily Divorced s02e04 The Burial Plotz.eng

Happily Divorced is shot
before a live audience.

A dozen of those?
Oh, two dozen.

No problem, we can
deliver those tomorrow.

Sure.

That's the biggest order
we've had all month.

Is it roses for a birthday,
orchids for a wedding?

Girl scout cookies
for my daughter.

Oh, I tell you, Cesar,

everything is
so depressing today.

You read this paper,
people are dying left and right.

One guy drives off a cliff,
another one O.D.S...

And did we get one order
for a funeral arrangement?

Hey, Fran.

Oh, hi, sweetie.

Oh, wait till
you hear my big news.

Boy, are you
gonna love me.

Are you sure?

'Cause last time
you gave me big news...

Not that thrilled.

You know
that cute reporter

- on channel six?
- Yeah?

Showed him
a house today.

- And he bought it?
- Nope.

- He wants to date me?
- Nope.

- He wants to date you?
- Nope.

Tuning out, Peter.

What the hell is it?

Franny, who's
the most successful

small businesswoman
we know?

Well, Cesar's daughter's
kicking some serious ass.

He wants to do
a story on you, Fran.

Me? Why?

On women who started
businesses at home.

I told him
how amazing you are,

how you started
with nothing,

and you built it into
this successful empire.

Oh, sweetie,
you lied for me?

Of course I did.

You know what this is gonna do
for your business, Fran?

It's gonna boom,
I'm telling you.

Last week,
he did that woman

that makes those little, uh,
koala bear key chains.

- Yeah?
- She's raking it in.

You know how people are.

They watch something
on television,

and every idiot
has to have one.

Look how cute.

Oh, Peter, you can't pay
for advertising like this.

I know,
you're gonna be on TV.

I'm gonna be on TV...
Oy, I'm gonna be on TV...

The TV puts
on ten pounds.

That means I'm gonna
have to lose 30.

- When do we shoot?
- Thursday.

Well, that sucks.

Oh, stop it,
you're gorgeous.

And this place looks like
a magazine cover.

Oh, you're right.
It did come out so good.

I did a good job
with it.

Oh, sweetie, I was so depressed
not two minutes ago.

Look how things
can just change on a dime.

Oh!

- What was that?
- Nothing.

It's just
a little drip.

Didn't your dad
fix this roof?

Well, with a plastic bag
and four rocks,

which only proves
that the only thing

a jewish man should do
on a roof is fiddle.

- Oh!
- Ooh.

Oh, my God.

The drip turned
into a stream.

Oh, jeez,
wait a minute.

- Oh, oh!
- It's okay, honey.

It's okay, it's just
one little stream.

One little streams.

Oh, they say it's gonna
rain like this all week.

They're not gonna
wanna shoot the show here.

Calm down, it's
just two little holes.

We'll have someone
in to fix them.

With what? What are
we gonna pay for it with?

We'll sell something.

There must be something
around here we don't need.

Like what?
What do... what?

It doesn't matter.
Sell anything you want.

The important thing is that
this place looks great,

and you look great,
and you will.

Okay.
You're right.

I mean, how much could it cost
to patch a rooj?

Ahh!

Okay, those roofers?
Amazing.

Didn't they do
a fantastic job?

I haven't seen it yet,
but those roofers... amazing.

Really? Are they good?

'Cause I need something done
in my apartment.

- What?
- Me.

Sweetie, I have
to tell you,

you are my hero.

- Stop.
- No.

I owe it all
to you.

I mean, all
of Southern California

is gonna see
frantastic flowers.

Why? Because of you.

And now frantastic flowers
has a new roof,

also because of you.

Fran, you really
don't need to do this.

Keep going, what else
do you have to say?

Well, you were
the one that said

that we should sell anything
that we don't need anymore,

and I wracked my brains.
What could that be?

Then it came to me.

What do we have
that we don't need anymore

that's worth
a lot of money?

I don't know. What?

Remember the family
burial plots

that my parents bought
for the four of us?

Well, now that
we're divorced,

I sold yours.

Well, look at you.
You thought of everything.

- You sold my burial plot?
- Yeah, sweetie.

Because I said sell
anything that we don't need.

- Yeah, sweetie.
- And you listened.

For the first time,
finally, you listened.

Well, that's great.
Od, Fran, good.

Good, good,
good, good...

- -Oh.
- What?

- Did you see that?
- See what?

The look on his face when
you told him you sold this plot.

What are you
talking about?

Fran, I think
he's upset.

Don't be ridiculous, Judi.
I mean, we're divorced.

He doesn't expect to share
a burial plot with me.

We don't even share
a waterpik anymore.

I'm gonna go out
and get some air.

Sweetie...
You're not upset,

- are you?
- No.

I didn't think so.
Where you going?

I don't know.
I thought I knew,

but now... I don't!

So then he storms
out the front door

like I did
something wrong.

Well, you did.

You were horribly insensitive
to your husband.

He's not my husband.

We sleep
in separate rooms.

- We no longer have sex.
- Darling...

All relationships
go through phases.

You have different needs,
you change, you grow.

Yeah, well, I can't grow
what he needs.

Franny, what time does
your TV program start tonight?

I wanna LSD it
on the machine.

Daddy, it's...

5:00 news.

Glen, are you not hearing
what your daughter did to Peter?

I'm hearing,
I'm hearing.

But as far as I'm concerned,
when I'm gone,

just put me out with the trash
like we did with that cat.

Ernie?

You told me you buried Ernie
with Nana.

Oh, yeah, of course.
We opened up grandma's grave

to put in
a one-eyed cat.

Fran, that was a family plot
that you sold,

and our son belongs there,
not some stranger.

Why is everybody
so concerned

about who they're
gonna be buried with?

You're dead.

It's not like we're gonna
be sharing a cabin

with him
at big bear.

What kind of cold,
unfeeling person

with someone
she doesn't even know?

I wouldn't do that, ma.

- I know her.
- Know who?

Hello, neighbor.

I just thought I'd pop by
and bring you a little something

to thank you for starting my car.

Aw, thank you, Marilyn,
but it was Peter who did that.

He's a keeper,
that one.

I used a new bakery.
I-I hope it tastes okay.

I just wish
I could be sure.

Well, Marilyn,
would you like a piece?

Oh, just a...
A sliver...

To test it.

Well, I'll see you
around the pool.

I bought a new bikini
in Israel.

They asked me
not to wear it there.

For religious reasons.

Okay.

I want my darling Peter
to be in there

not that
pain in the ass.

I don't see
what the big deal is

having Marilyn
laying next to us.

Oh, yeah, Glen,
you would love that.

Now that you can have
your menage a trois

that I said "over my dead body"

Francine, you know you've done
something very wrong.

You will not be able
to live with yourself

unless you
set things right.

I'm not
a bad person.

Darling, of course not.

You're a good person...

Who did a very,
very bad thing.

Well, what am I
supposed to do?

I-I don't have the money
to buy back the plot.

What vault, daddy?

The can of chock full o' nuts
on top of the fridge?

Now we're gonna
have to move it.

Marilyn, I made
a mistake.

I shouldn't have sold
Peter's burial plot.

I wasn't really thinking
about his feelings,

and now I need
to get it back.

You can understand
that, right?

Oh, of course.

- Just tell me one thing.
- Yes?

Are these
all caramel,

or are there ones
on the bottom that I like?

The thing is,
I don't have t $3,000.

So I was thinking...

Maybe I can give you
beautiful fresh flowers

every single week
until it's all payoff.

Well, I don't know.
I can windex these.

You know,
the problem is,

I didn't buy a single plot
for myself.

I'm a vibrant woman
in her prime.

I could
meet someone.

Uh, okay.

I bought the plot
to put my mother in.

Oh, you wanna move
your mother there.

- Where is she now?
- In the bedroom.

In an urn?

No, a pantsuit.

Your mother
is still alive?

Let me check... ma!

What?

Yep.

So you see, she has the deed
to the plot now.

You're gonna have
to ask her.

What do you want?

Ma, you remember franny,
the little Newman girl

from our old neighborhood
in queens?

- Ah.
- Hi, Mrs. Kapelmaster.

Oh, right, right.
Remember you.

I hear you
dig chicks now.

Go for you.

Actually, it was
my husband...

Yeah, I'm a lesbian.

Uh, Mrs. Kapelmaster,

I need to get back
that burial plot,

but I don't
have the $3,000.

Sweetheart, I wouldn't
take $3,000 from you.

- Oh, really?
- I'm looking for $6,000.

But...

But that's double
what she paid for it.

Inflation, honey.

$13 a pack. I never thought
I'd live to see it.

Neither did I.

But you've known me
since I was born.

Which is why I'm letting you
have it for $7,000.

But you
just said $6,000.

Did I?

I don't have the $7,000.
Please, Mrs. Kapelmaster.

I-I-I'll do anything
to make this right.

I'll... I'll... I'll...
I'll run errands for you.

I'll-I'll-I'll...
I'll take you to the doctor's.

Um, I can...
I can bathe you.

If I said no
to Eleanor Roosevelt,

I'm not giving it up
to you.

Where is
Peter already?

The film crew's
gonna be here any minute

and I need him.

How does
my makeup look?

You look
very natural.

Well, that sucks.

I need Peter
to fluff me.

I mean, you're good too,
but Peter was born to fluff.

Oh, Peter,
where have you been?

Oh, I'm sorry,
my car broke down.

Had to hitchhike.

Are you crazy?
You could've been killed.

Then where
would I go?

Peter, look, I know that
you're upset about the plot,

and I am
really sorry.

I tried so hard to get it back,
but I just couldn't.

I understand.

Thank you.

What I don't understand

is how you could sell it
in the first place.

Well, I said
I was sorry.

Fine, let's just
leave it at that.

Fine.

Just seems like
a very cold thing to do.

- Excuse me?
- What you did.

With my plot. Cold.

I don't believe this.
Are you serious?

I am standing here,
apologizing to you,

and frankly, I don even know
if I did anything wrong.

Oh, well,
let me clear it up...

You did.

What did I do?
We're divorced.

Surely you
didn't think

that we were gonna be
buried together.

I'm just
a little shocked

that it never occurred
to you to ask me.

Those plots
were for us.

What "us"?
There is no more "us."

There's just you
and me.

You... and me.

Fine. I thought
we felt the same.

Clearly have
different desires.

Actually, we have
the same desires.

Hence... you...
And me!

You know what, Fran?

You're never gonna understand
how I feel.

Because you have no right
to feel the way you do.

You're right.
I have no right to feel it,

but I do, Fran.
I can't help how I feel.

I thought I was a part
of the family.

Peter, you're the one
that left the family.

Because I'm gay, not
because I stopped loving you

you know that.

What you don't know
is what it feels like

to be tossed
out of a family.

Where am I supposed to go, Fran?
Where am I gonna end up?

You know what, this is the first
time since I've known you

that I feel that
you don't love me.

I feel like...
Completely alone.

All right, so this
should be pretty simple, Fran.

In a few seconds,
we're gonna go live.

I'll throw you
a couple questions

you just relax, and,
uh, have fun, okay?

- Okay.
- All right.

Thanks, D'Angela,
I am here with Fran Lovett,

a woman who made her dream
bloom into reality

right here in her own garage
in Hancock park.

Excuse me, could you...
Could you turn that up, please?

So Fran, tell us
what inspired you

to open
frantastic flowers?

Well, it was my husband.
I mean, my ex-husband.

He always thought that I was
very talented in this area,

and he was
the one that said

that we could take out
a second on the mortgage,

and he said that we could
convert the garage much faster

if we didn't
take out any permits.

Okay, we do not
recommend that.

Fran, tell us, do you remember
your first sale?

Oh, yes,
it was my husband.

He bought the very
first arrangement

and made believe
was a customer

so that I would
feel successful.

He'd do anything
for me

he even got me
this television interview,

because he cut your commission
when he sold you that condo.

True, I made nothing.
Not a penny.

- I just wanted her to be happy.
- So Fran...

What do you think the key
to your success is?

I sold his grave.

But it was only
because the roof caved in.

I didn't know that it
would make him feel so unloved

or not a part
of the family.

I mean, how could
he think that?

He was the love
of my life.

He is a part
of my family.

He is my family.

Did you hear
what she said...

Oh, my gosh.
You're the one.

Okay...

Back to you
in the studio, d'Angela.

Frantast flowers.
Like us on Facebook.

Follow us
on Twitter.

Oh, Petey,
I'm so sorry.

I know, I know.
I saw it on TV.

- You did?
- Yeah.

Did I look fat?

No, you looked gorgeous.
You really popped.

Next then, we're gonna go
with the Navy or the black.

But what
you said, honey.

Oh, I don't even know
what I said,

I just know
what I felt.

Oh, God,
I was such an idiot.

You had every right
to do what you did.

It's just that
when you got it

of the one final thing
that held us together,

I just felt that
you were ending... us.

Oh, no,
I would never do that.

And you know
what I thought?

I'm gonna sell
my burial plot,

and with the money, we can buy
two cheaper ones together.

Fran, you don't have
to do that.

- Peter!
- But, yay.

And look, I even found
online already a place.

It's not fancy,
but we can afford it.

Uh, that's because
it's a pet cemetery.

Oh, no wonder they call it
"four feet under."

That's very clever

oh, petey, you're always
gonna be a part of my life.

I wouldn't have it
any other way.

And I guess wherever you are
is always gonna be home to me.

Well, let's not put that
out in the universe.

Let's look at these plots
as a back-up plan,

'cause you're gonna
meet someone someday.

I will.

And I'm gonna
meet someone.

You will.

We're gonna wanna
end up with them.

Naturally.

And there's no way that
I'm gonna be one of those chicks

that hang out
every Saturday night

at some gay bar.

'Night, Fran.

'Night, fellas.

Mom, I know
that you're upset.

About what you did
to Peter?

Or what you wore?

Your meltdown?

Or your not
saying "hi, mom"

after I told
the whole building to watch?

And yet,
I keep coming back.

No, what I did
to Peter.

You were right.
I did a bad thing.

But, mom,
she made it all ay.

- We worked it out.
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, thank God.
- Yep.

I found some cheaper
cemetery plots

so Peter and I
can be together.

It's not in
the nicest neighborhood.

But you know,
when the gays move in,

everything always
gets nicer.

Wait a minute.

Where'd you get
the money for this?

I sold my
burial plot.

Oh, great.

This is some family plot
we've got here.

Me, Glen, and a couple of people
we're not related to.

Who did you sell
the plot to this Tim

Hello.

Can you watch her
while I get my hair done?

She already
had her nap.

Here's her bottle.

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