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1
00:00:00,547 --> 00:00:03,707
Happily divorced was filmed
in front of a live audience.
2
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:06,326
- Oh, miss Fran!
- Yeah?
3
00:00:06,327 --> 00:00:07,961
Do you want me
to put some flowers in the den
4
00:00:07,962 --> 00:00:09,988
since you invited Mr. Peter's
brother to stay here?
5
00:00:09,989 --> 00:00:13,367
How did you
hear about that?
6
00:00:13,368 --> 00:00:16,244
Well, your voice,
it carries.
7
00:00:16,245 --> 00:00:19,873
It was a text!
8
00:00:19,874 --> 00:00:22,011
Honestly, Cesar,
you've really got to start
9
00:00:22,012 --> 00:00:25,045
minding your own business.
10
00:00:25,046 --> 00:00:27,214
Oh, when is
the brother landing again?
11
00:00:27,215 --> 00:00:29,800
4:40.
12
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:34,262
Oh, sweetie, 've got
the nicest surprise for you!
13
00:00:34,263 --> 00:00:37,516
Guess who's coming into town
for the L.A. car show.
14
00:00:37,517 --> 00:00:39,357
Your brother!
15
00:00:39,358 --> 00:00:41,456
What?
16
00:00:41,457 --> 00:00:42,791
What?
Matthew is here?
17
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:43,814
Yeah!
18
00:00:43,815 --> 00:00:45,857
And I told him
he could stay in the den.
19
00:00:45,858 --> 00:00:47,984
What? Why?
20
00:00:47,985 --> 00:00:50,927
Well, because
this thing is shot
21
00:00:50,928 --> 00:00:52,760
and the Springs
are terrible.
22
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,283
It's not fit for a human being
to sleep on this couch.
23
00:00:55,284 --> 00:00:57,786
Where should I
put your head?
24
00:00:57,787 --> 00:01:00,956
Matthew, my brother,
is coming here? Now?
25
00:01:00,957 --> 00:01:03,231
- Yeah.
- But... but, uh...
26
00:01:03,232 --> 00:01:05,002
We're not...
We're not gonna be here.
27
00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:06,336
What? Why?
28
00:01:06,337 --> 00:01:08,934
Because we're
going to, uh, the, uh...
29
00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:10,966
Springs.
30
00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:12,718
What Springs?
31
00:01:12,719 --> 00:01:15,554
The Springs. The palm Springs.
We're going to, uh...
32
00:01:15,555 --> 00:01:17,506
We're going to...
We're going to see follies.
33
00:01:17,507 --> 00:01:20,559
- It's closing night!
- With, uh, Lloyd Bridges.
34
00:01:22,143 --> 00:01:26,879
Lloyd Bridges is dead.
We missed his closing night.
35
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,900
Now, why don't you
want to see your brother?
36
00:01:28,901 --> 00:01:31,653
Fran, that's ridiculous. Why wouldn't
I want to see my own brother?
37
00:01:31,654 --> 00:01:35,240
Don't answer it!
38
00:01:35,241 --> 00:01:36,658
Franny...
39
00:01:36,659 --> 00:01:38,577
Fran there may be one
little, little thing
40
00:01:38,578 --> 00:01:40,288
that I neglected
to tell him and...
41
00:01:40,289 --> 00:01:41,556
- Matthew!
- Franny!
42
00:01:41,557 --> 00:01:43,915
Aw, hey, girl!
43
00:01:43,916 --> 00:01:45,667
- Petey!
- Hey, Matty.
44
00:01:45,668 --> 00:01:48,294
Oh, my God,
is it possible
45
00:01:48,295 --> 00:01:49,962
that you've gotten
even more beautiful?
46
00:01:49,963 --> 00:01:52,966
Oh!
47
00:01:52,967 --> 00:01:55,032
Am I lucky
to still be married
48
00:01:55,033 --> 00:02:00,432
to this smoking hot
chick or what?
49
00:02:02,241 --> 00:02:04,895
♪ she was certain
that he was ♪
50
00:02:04,896 --> 00:02:07,479
♪ her one and only ♪
51
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:12,483
♪ but their union always
seemed a little forced ♪
52
00:02:12,484 --> 00:02:15,586
♪ she got married anyway ♪
53
00:02:15,587 --> 00:02:17,655
♪ turns out
that he was gay ♪
54
00:02:17,656 --> 00:02:18,957
♪ they're still in love ♪
55
00:02:18,958 --> 00:02:21,578
♪ but now
she's happily divorced ♪
56
00:02:21,579 --> 00:02:23,455
sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.Com/
57
00:02:24,362 --> 00:02:26,124
what is wrong with you?
58
00:02:26,125 --> 00:02:27,564
Hey, come on, babe.
59
00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:29,332
You can't expect me
to keep my hands off you
60
00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:30,433
when you're walking
around here
61
00:02:30,434 --> 00:02:34,002
in that sexy
Roberto Cavalli top.
62
00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:37,405
Or whatever brand it is.
I don't know designers.
63
00:02:37,406 --> 00:02:38,840
Peter!
64
00:02:38,841 --> 00:02:40,909
Hey, Matt, why don't you
put your stuff in the den?
65
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:41,977
Yeah.
66
00:02:41,978 --> 00:02:43,177
You look
different there, petey.
67
00:02:43,178 --> 00:02:44,845
What's going on?
You been going to the gym?
68
00:02:44,846 --> 00:02:46,680
No, why would I do that?
Who needs a six-pack?
69
00:02:46,681 --> 00:02:50,450
I got a wife!
70
00:02:50,451 --> 00:02:53,953
Peter, I cannot believe
you haven't told your brother
71
00:02:53,954 --> 00:02:55,028
that you're gay!
72
00:02:55,029 --> 00:02:56,355
Shh!
I will, I will.
73
00:02:56,356 --> 00:02:58,023
I just... I mean,
I've been really busy.
74
00:02:58,024 --> 00:03:01,284
Busy? You took a week
alphabetizing your CDs!
75
00:03:01,285 --> 00:03:05,164
"Is it chorus line
or a chorus line?"
76
00:03:05,165 --> 00:03:08,125
How long does it take
to tell your brother "I am gay!"
77
00:03:08,126 --> 00:03:09,534
Aah!
78
00:03:09,535 --> 00:03:11,336
Matt! Matt!
Why don't you take a shower?
79
00:03:11,337 --> 00:03:13,880
We'll shoot some hoops!
80
00:03:13,881 --> 00:03:17,843
Straights
don't shower first.
81
00:03:17,844 --> 00:03:19,845
Eww.
82
00:03:19,846 --> 00:03:22,212
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute here.
83
00:03:22,213 --> 00:03:27,060
How could he not know?
Didn't your parents tell him?
84
00:03:27,061 --> 00:03:30,647
Oh, my God.
You didn't tell your parents?
85
00:03:30,648 --> 00:03:33,150
We're...
We're not talkers.
86
00:03:33,151 --> 00:03:35,124
How could you keep
something like that inside?
87
00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:39,114
I get an ingrown toenail
and I have to tweet about it!
88
00:03:39,115 --> 00:03:40,696
Franny, just pretend.
89
00:03:40,697 --> 00:03:42,303
Pretend we're marrie
while he's here, please?
90
00:03:42,304 --> 00:03:43,451
- No!
- Please?
91
00:03:43,452 --> 00:03:45,036
No, I will not
lie for you!
92
00:03:45,037 --> 00:03:46,788
Oh, come on!
I lie for you all the time!
93
00:03:46,789 --> 00:03:48,535
- When?
- Well, remember I lied to
94
00:03:48,536 --> 00:03:50,871
the pilot of that prop plane
in Hawaii about your weight.
95
00:03:50,872 --> 00:03:52,839
Oh, please.
96
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,407
I put my life
on the line!
97
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:55,922
There were
children on that plane!
98
00:03:55,923 --> 00:03:57,465
Little children!
99
00:03:57,466 --> 00:03:59,645
We're talking about
you and your brother.
100
00:03:59,646 --> 00:04:02,949
And by the way, that samoan kid
sitting next to me
101
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:05,599
was no 90 pounds!
102
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,021
Franny, you just
don't understand.
103
00:04:08,022 --> 00:04:10,395
You're not a guy.
You don't have a brother.
104
00:04:10,396 --> 00:04:12,959
I mean, growing up,
everything is a competition!
105
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,561
Actually,
there was no competition.
106
00:04:14,562 --> 00:04:16,443
He won every time!
107
00:04:16,444 --> 00:04:20,447
The one time I outdid him
was when I married you!
108
00:04:23,605 --> 00:04:27,141
Well...
109
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,706
He had a wife too.
110
00:04:29,707 --> 00:04:31,146
That didn't last.
111
00:04:31,147 --> 00:04:34,961
And come on, you cannot
compare her to you.
112
00:04:37,085 --> 00:04:40,655
Well...
113
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:44,137
She was pretty too.
114
00:04:44,138 --> 00:04:46,262
Franny,
I'm begging you, please,
115
00:04:46,263 --> 00:04:48,099
just give me
a little bit of time.
116
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,900
Oh, okay.
117
00:04:50,901 --> 00:04:52,969
But you realize you're gonna
have to tell him by tonight,
118
00:04:52,970 --> 00:04:55,072
because when he sees you
sleeping out on this couch
119
00:04:55,073 --> 00:04:58,809
it's going to raise
a big rainbow flag.
120
00:04:58,810 --> 00:05:00,611
Yeah,
I know, definitely.
121
00:05:00,612 --> 00:05:02,822
- Tonight, maybe even sooner.
- Good.
122
00:05:02,823 --> 00:05:06,743
Hey, who here
buys out & proud?
123
00:05:06,744 --> 00:05:08,119
Oh,
you found my magazine!
124
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,157
Thank you, papi.
125
00:05:13,227 --> 00:05:15,228
Next time you tell me
to get my big fat ears
126
00:05:15,229 --> 00:05:17,331
off the window,
maybe you'll think twice, huh?
127
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
128
00:05:28,324 --> 00:05:29,766
Hey, Matty, look.
It's your old nova.
129
00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:31,434
Boy, I had some
good times in that car.
130
00:05:31,435 --> 00:05:33,161
Oh, please.
It took him forever
131
00:05:33,162 --> 00:05:34,729
to pick up
how to drive a stick.
132
00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:38,191
Ah, well,
he's got the hang of it now.
133
00:05:38,192 --> 00:05:40,203
Matty, look.
134
00:05:40,204 --> 00:05:41,486
- It's your wedding.
- Oh.
135
00:05:41,487 --> 00:05:45,975
Oh, look at
the four of us at your wedding.
136
00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:48,678
Why didn't things work out
with you and Danielle?
137
00:05:48,679 --> 00:05:50,286
I really enjoyeder.
138
00:05:50,287 --> 00:05:54,082
Yeah...
Everyone enjoyed her.
139
00:05:54,083 --> 00:05:57,454
I gotta tell you,
it's tough starting over again.
140
00:05:57,455 --> 00:05:58,545
Oh, trust me, Matty,
141
00:05:58,546 --> 00:06:00,490
you're not gonna be
on the meat market long.
142
00:06:00,491 --> 00:06:01,631
You're a great guy.
143
00:06:01,632 --> 00:06:04,060
Aww, you're sweet...
144
00:06:04,061 --> 00:06:05,829
And a great cook.
145
00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:08,346
This is delicious.
What did you put in this?
146
00:06:08,347 --> 00:06:11,558
There's a hint of ginger in.
147
00:06:11,559 --> 00:06:15,061
That is the secret,
right, Fran?
148
00:06:15,062 --> 00:06:18,773
Yeah, Peter,
that's the secret.
149
00:06:18,774 --> 00:06:23,778
You're a lucky man, petey.
And you know what?
150
00:06:23,779 --> 00:06:24,988
You owe it all to me.
151
00:06:24,989 --> 00:06:26,197
- You?
- Yes!
152
00:06:26,198 --> 00:06:28,616
If I hadn't have bailed
on that Bon Jovi concert
153
00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:30,217
and asked you
to take Fran for me,
154
00:06:30,218 --> 00:06:31,995
you two would
never have even met.
155
00:06:31,996 --> 00:06:33,287
Yeah, that's true.
156
00:06:33,288 --> 00:06:34,831
Yeah, well4
I introduced you to Danielle.
157
00:06:34,832 --> 00:06:38,001
Oops, my bad.
158
00:06:38,002 --> 00:06:39,594
Oh, my God!
Look at this!
159
00:06:39,595 --> 00:06:42,030
The county fair!
Remember that?
160
00:06:42,031 --> 00:06:44,716
I beat petey
in a hot dog eating contest.
161
00:06:44,717 --> 00:06:49,272
He beat you
in a hot dog eating contest?
162
00:06:49,273 --> 00:06:54,059
Maybe it's time that you
challenged him to a rematch.
163
00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:57,748
And on that note,
I'm going to bed.
164
00:06:57,749 --> 00:06:59,549
I'm sure you guys
have a lot to catch up on,
165
00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:01,191
and your brother
has a lot to tell you.
166
00:07:01,192 --> 00:07:03,568
- Not really.
- Yeah, you do.
167
00:07:03,569 --> 00:07:06,153
Good night, honey!
Ve ya!
168
00:07:06,154 --> 00:07:10,075
- She loves me too.
- Yep.
169
00:07:10,076 --> 00:07:12,458
You know, I'm gonna
stay up and watch a game,
170
00:07:12,459 --> 00:07:15,995
but, uh, if you
want to go in there...
171
00:07:15,996 --> 00:07:17,082
I'll turn the sound up.
172
00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:20,867
Ah, no,
I can tap that any time.
173
00:07:20,868 --> 00:07:22,668
- I never get to see you.
- All right, cool.
174
00:07:22,669 --> 00:07:25,337
- Want to watch a game?
- Sure, let's find a game.
175
00:07:25,338 --> 00:07:29,942
Ah, family feud's on.
176
00:08:02,706 --> 00:08:06,708
Get out.
177
00:08:17,118 --> 00:08:18,919
- Have a fight?
- Yeah.
178
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,255
- What about?
- I'm gay.
179
00:08:33,682 --> 00:08:34,782
Thank you.
180
00:08:34,783 --> 00:08:37,495
Yes, I'm upset.
I am.
181
00:08:37,496 --> 00:08:40,221
Not that
you're gay, but...
182
00:08:40,222 --> 00:08:41,791
That you didn't tell me.
183
00:08:41,792 --> 00:08:43,084
I mean, come on, man.
184
00:08:43,085 --> 00:08:44,860
What did you
think it would change?
185
00:08:44,861 --> 00:08:47,005
It didn't change anything
between you and Fran.
186
00:08:47,006 --> 00:08:51,634
Well, I could
think of one thing.
187
00:08:51,635 --> 00:08:54,137
You know, I don't know
why I'm so surprised.
188
00:08:54,138 --> 00:08:55,872
Nobody in our family
ev talks.
189
00:08:55,873 --> 00:08:57,941
It's true.
We're not talkers.
190
00:08:57,942 --> 00:09:01,511
That is so sad.
What's wrong with you people?
191
00:09:01,512 --> 00:09:04,689
I don't want to
talk about it.
192
00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:07,816
Oh, Matty, I'm sorry
it took me so long to tell you.
193
00:09:07,817 --> 00:09:09,418
If I had told you sooner,
maybe it wouldn't have been
194
00:09:09,419 --> 00:09:10,653
so much of a shock.
195
00:09:10,654 --> 00:09:14,122
Actually, petey...
196
00:09:14,123 --> 00:09:15,867
It kind of wasn't.
197
00:09:15,868 --> 00:09:18,761
There were a few,
uh, telltale signs.
198
00:09:18,762 --> 00:09:20,062
Like what?
199
00:09:20,063 --> 00:09:22,599
Well, he was
the only five-year-old I knew
200
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,917
who made
egg-white omelets.
201
00:09:23,918 --> 00:09:25,501
A lot of kids cook.
202
00:09:25,502 --> 00:09:28,639
Yeah,
not so many garnish.
203
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,042
And you know,
when we were growing up,
204
00:09:31,043 --> 00:09:32,884
he used to lay clothes out
for the next day.
205
00:09:32,885 --> 00:09:34,177
So what?
206
00:09:34,178 --> 00:09:37,055
For mom.
207
00:09:37,056 --> 00:09:38,848
So wait now.
208
00:09:38,849 --> 00:09:42,554
How does this work here?
He's gay, you're divorced,
209
00:09:42,555 --> 00:09:45,422
and you're still
sharing this house?
210
00:09:45,423 --> 00:09:48,425
Yep, living the dream!
211
00:09:48,426 --> 00:09:50,060
So what happens
if you both bring dates home
212
00:09:50,061 --> 00:09:51,152
on the same night?
213
00:09:51,153 --> 00:09:54,864
I'll let you know
when that happens.
214
00:09:54,865 --> 00:09:57,835
You know,
I feel like a giant weight
215
00:09:57,836 --> 00:09:59,744
has been lifted off
my shoulders.
216
00:09:59,745 --> 00:10:01,079
Good, sweetie.
217
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,342
Fran, thank you for forcing me
to be honest with Matt.
218
00:10:04,343 --> 00:10:05,458
It feels great!
219
00:10:05,459 --> 00:10:07,679
And, Matt, you're right,
I do owe you!
220
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,981
If you'd had gone
to that concert instead of me,
221
00:10:09,982 --> 00:10:11,616
I never would have met
this incredible woman,
222
00:10:11,617 --> 00:10:13,119
and who knows
what would have happened?
223
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,122
- Yeah, who knows?
- Who knows?
224
00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:27,901
He asked you out
on a date?
225
00:10:27,902 --> 00:10:30,066
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you crazy?
226
00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:32,939
You can't go out
with your husband's brother.
227
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:36,943
You'll have babies
with extra feet.
228
00:10:36,944 --> 00:10:38,745
Ma, we're not
blood relation.
229
00:10:41,916 --> 00:10:44,250
Moses married
his wife's sister.
230
00:10:44,251 --> 00:10:45,665
Oh, sure.
231
00:10:45,666 --> 00:10:49,589
He's Moses.
He knew people.
232
00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:51,157
If everything
in the Bible were true,
233
00:10:51,158 --> 00:10:55,008
all your mother's friends
would be pillars of salt.
234
00:10:55,009 --> 00:10:59,012
How the hell does that
Angela Lansbury run so fast?
235
00:10:59,013 --> 00:11:03,766
You're sitting on
the fast-forward button, daddy.
236
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,070
Judi, talk to her.
237
00:11:05,071 --> 00:11:06,305
Tell her there's
nothing wrong with me
238
00:11:06,306 --> 00:11:07,603
going out with Matthew.
239
00:11:07,604 --> 00:11:09,441
I don't see
anything wrong with it.
240
00:11:09,442 --> 00:11:11,858
I dated my sister's husband
for a little while.
241
00:11:11,859 --> 00:11:15,069
Oh? When did they
get separated?
242
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:19,619
They're talking
about it now.
243
00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:21,954
And, ma,
look at it this way.
244
00:11:21,955 --> 00:11:25,292
Matthew asked me out first.
Maybe it's fate.
245
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,207
Maybe he's the brother that
I was supposed to have married.
246
00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:29,863
Yeah, but your husband
showed up instead,
247
00:11:29,864 --> 00:11:31,632
and you married him.
248
00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:33,379
That's fate.
249
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:37,967
No, that's why
I'm gonna end up dying alone.
250
00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:39,340
Listen, franny,
you want to know
251
00:11:39,341 --> 00:11:40,428
if you should
go out with him?
252
00:11:40,429 --> 00:11:42,811
- Yeah.
- Let's go down my checklist.
253
00:11:42,812 --> 00:11:44,057
- Okay.
- Does he have a job?
254
00:11:44,058 --> 00:11:46,147
Yes.
255
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:52,774
That's the list!
He's in.
256
00:11:52,775 --> 00:11:56,591
It's a sin.
You will be cursed.
257
00:11:56,592 --> 00:12:01,991
All of your kids will have
the same face, like the Osmonds.
258
00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:03,364
What the hell
am I watching here?
259
00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:05,161
I've never seen
a prison like this.
260
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,206
Listen, franny, I don't see
the big dilemma here.
261
00:12:12,207 --> 00:12:14,212
I mean, it seems like you
already made up your mind.
262
00:12:14,213 --> 00:12:16,172
Yeah, but what about
poor Peter?
263
00:12:16,173 --> 00:12:17,979
Well,
that's the dilemma.
264
00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:20,948
Peter and his brother have
this weird competition going,
265
00:12:22,484 --> 00:12:25,890
I ended up
being the grand prize.
266
00:12:25,891 --> 00:12:27,684
Hey, everybody.
267
00:12:27,685 --> 00:12:29,523
And there he is.
268
00:12:29,524 --> 00:12:31,191
You want to
go out with his brother?
269
00:12:31,192 --> 00:12:32,605
Ask your husband!
270
00:12:32,606 --> 00:12:34,360
Fine!
271
00:12:34,361 --> 00:12:36,651
Uh, Peter...
272
00:12:36,652 --> 00:12:39,612
You don't care if I go out
on a date with Matthew, do you?
273
00:12:39,613 --> 00:12:41,739
What?
274
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:44,537
You know, since things
are cool between the two of you?
275
00:12:44,538 --> 00:12:47,540
It's okay, right?
276
00:12:49,893 --> 00:12:51,624
Absolutely.
277
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:54,001
- You're sure?
- Yeah.
278
00:12:54,002 --> 00:12:56,548
Look, we're divorced.
279
00:12:56,549 --> 00:12:59,652
You're a single woman.
Have fun.
280
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:03,756
You see?
It's fine.
281
00:13:03,757 --> 00:13:06,392
Glen, are you gonna
let your daughter do this?
282
00:13:06,393 --> 00:13:07,598
Tell her what you think.
283
00:13:07,599 --> 00:13:09,896
I think you'd have to be
an idiot not to be able
284
00:13:09,897 --> 00:13:11,431
to escape
from this prison.
285
00:13:11,432 --> 00:13:14,434
The guards are showering
with the inmates!
286
00:13:27,397 --> 00:13:29,231
Oh, I can't believe
it's taken us
287
00:13:29,232 --> 00:13:30,413
23 years to get here.
288
00:13:30,414 --> 00:13:31,747
I know!
289
00:13:31,748 --> 00:13:35,238
I mean, I ask you out,
Peter takes my place,
290
00:13:35,239 --> 00:13:37,573
you marry him,
then he says he's gay.
291
00:13:37,574 --> 00:13:40,214
I mean, come on,
you can't write this stuff.
292
00:13:40,215 --> 00:13:44,177
Not unless
you're Stephen king.
293
00:13:44,178 --> 00:13:47,472
Well, I'm betting
this story has a happy ending.
294
00:13:50,245 --> 00:13:53,060
Mmm... I remember
the first time I saw you.
295
00:13:53,061 --> 00:13:54,562
- You do?
- Oh, yeah.
296
00:13:54,563 --> 00:13:57,126
Yeah, I was visiting Peter
up at campus, and it was...
297
00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:58,227
It was really,
really late
298
00:13:58,228 --> 00:13:59,650
and you were
ming out of the library.
299
00:13:59,651 --> 00:14:02,365
Oh, I remember those
all-nighters at the library,
300
00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:05,201
desperately seeking somebody
to write my term paper.
301
00:14:08,606 --> 00:14:10,073
Oh, no bread
for me, thank you.
302
00:14:10,074 --> 00:14:11,245
Wait... wait a minute.
303
00:14:11,246 --> 00:14:13,915
Those are Hawaiian sweet rolls.
You love those.
304
00:14:13,916 --> 00:14:16,947
Oh, you know me
so well!
305
00:14:16,948 --> 00:14:18,482
I don't have to
pretend to be a woman
306
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:22,720
who's sickened by carbs.
Load me up.
307
00:14:22,721 --> 00:14:24,722
Thank you.
Thank... oh, hey, excuse me.
308
00:14:24,723 --> 00:14:26,969
Bring some marinara for dipping
when you get a chance, will ya?
309
00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:31,432
This was so meant to be.
310
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:32,809
You know
what I'm thinking?
311
00:14:32,810 --> 00:14:35,200
- What?
- I'm thinking,
312
00:14:35,201 --> 00:14:38,981
"I have never waited so many
years to kiss a girl."
313
00:14:38,982 --> 00:14:42,485
Mmm.
What's stopping you now?
314
00:14:42,486 --> 00:14:47,073
- Hello, Fran.
- Hi, Chad.
315
00:14:47,074 --> 00:14:48,948
Did you remember
to bring a new credit card?
316
00:14:48,949 --> 00:14:50,952
Because last time,
both of them were declined.
317
00:14:50,953 --> 00:14:53,753
I got it covered, Chad.
318
00:14:53,754 --> 00:14:55,790
Just tell us
what the specials are, please.
319
00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:58,858
Who's this?
320
00:14:58,859 --> 00:15:00,211
This isn't Peter.
321
00:15:00,212 --> 00:15:02,295
Well, not that
it's any of your business,
322
00:15:02,296 --> 00:15:04,173
but this happens
to be my date.
323
00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:06,217
Hey.
Matthew Lovett.
324
00:15:06,218 --> 00:15:09,846
Lovett?
That's your last name.
325
00:15:09,847 --> 00:15:11,605
Well, it's not like
we're related.
326
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,057
He's my brother-in-law.
327
00:15:13,058 --> 00:15:16,077
There's nothing embarrassing
about dating family.
328
00:15:16,078 --> 00:15:18,062
My mother
married a relative!
329
00:15:18,063 --> 00:15:20,356
- Get out of here.
- No, really!
330
00:15:20,357 --> 00:15:22,024
And look at me.
I look good.
331
00:15:22,025 --> 00:15:27,738
No, get... out... of... here.
332
00:15:27,739 --> 00:15:30,658
Now, where were we?
333
00:15:30,659 --> 00:15:34,370
I'd say...
Right about here.
334
00:15:34,371 --> 00:15:37,432
Mmm.
335
00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:42,587
Wow.
336
00:15:42,588 --> 00:15:45,673
Wow.
337
00:15:45,674 --> 00:15:48,175
That was better
than I imagined.
338
00:15:48,176 --> 00:15:51,214
Wow.
339
00:15:57,038 --> 00:15:59,562
Well, well, well.
340
00:15:59,563 --> 00:16:02,481
Look who finally stumbled in
in the middle of the night.
341
00:16:02,482 --> 00:16:06,402
It's 8:45.
342
00:16:06,403 --> 00:16:07,904
You two have a nice time?
343
00:16:07,905 --> 00:16:09,869
Actually,
we have a fantastic time.
344
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:12,137
Hey, buddy, I gotta tell you,
their cheesecake?
345
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,326
Not as good as yours.
346
00:16:13,327 --> 00:16:15,006
Oh, well, then you
should have taken mine.
347
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,204
It would have gone nicely
with the wife you took.
348
00:16:17,205 --> 00:16:19,144
Whoa.
349
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,712
What is that
suppose to mean?
350
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,935
Wait, Fran said you were cool
about you're going out with me.
351
00:16:22,936 --> 00:16:24,003
Yeah.
352
00:16:24,004 --> 00:16:27,465
Her going with you? Yes.
You asking her? No.
353
00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:29,675
Oh, come on,
you're kidding, right?
354
00:16:29,676 --> 00:16:33,012
Does this
seem like I'm kidding?
355
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,100
Actually, yeah.
356
00:16:38,101 --> 00:16:40,701
Oh, come on, petey!
You don't want to do that.
357
00:16:40,702 --> 00:16:43,272
Oh, Peter, where's
all this machismo coming from?
358
00:16:43,273 --> 00:16:44,872
I guess somewhere,
deep down inside me,
359
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,408
I still have
a straight guy in me.
360
00:16:47,409 --> 00:16:52,114
Well, lucky you.
At least one of us does.
361
00:16:52,115 --> 00:16:55,250
A brother does not
do this to his brother.
362
00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:57,586
The minute you found out that
fran and I weren't together,
363
00:16:57,587 --> 00:16:59,997
you couldn't wait to swoop
in there and snatch her up!
364
00:16:59,998 --> 00:17:01,791
Snatch her up?
Wait a minute... wait, wait.
365
00:17:01,792 --> 00:17:03,259
Let's just remember
one thing here.
366
00:17:03,260 --> 00:17:05,628
Let's remember
I met her first.
367
00:17:05,629 --> 00:17:08,365
But I got her,
and you can't stand it!
368
00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:10,268
You can't stand
that I got the one thing
369
00:17:10,269 --> 00:17:12,470
that was better
than anything you ever had!
370
00:17:12,471 --> 00:17:13,938
You know,
he keeps saying that,
371
00:17:13,939 --> 00:17:17,807
but I thought Danielle
was pretty-ish.
372
00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:20,712
Peter, will you stop with the
stupid competition, all right?
373
00:17:20,713 --> 00:17:23,615
I asked Fran out
because I like her, all right?
374
00:17:23,616 --> 00:17:25,815
And she's got the right to
go out with whoever she wants.
375
00:17:25,816 --> 00:17:27,952
Look, I don't blame her.
She's desperate.
376
00:17:27,953 --> 00:17:29,318
She's not
getting any younger.
377
00:17:29,319 --> 00:17:30,822
- Huh?
- Then why don't you
378
00:17:30,823 --> 00:17:33,280
get out of her way?
What if I'm her last chance?
379
00:17:33,281 --> 00:17:35,074
Hey!
380
00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:36,827
Look, I would think
you'd be happy
381
00:17:36,828 --> 00:17:40,431
that two people you love
found a real connection.
382
00:17:40,432 --> 00:17:41,706
Uh, Matthew...
383
00:17:41,707 --> 00:17:45,376
You know, not so much.
384
00:17:45,377 --> 00:17:47,378
What?
385
00:17:47,379 --> 00:17:50,923
Yeah, that kiss,
it was... weird.
386
00:17:50,924 --> 00:17:52,717
I mean,
not horrible weird,
387
00:17:52,718 --> 00:17:57,263
just kind of...
Hillbilly weird.
388
00:17:57,264 --> 00:17:59,098
You're...
You're kidding, right?
389
00:17:59,099 --> 00:18:01,767
Uh... no.
390
00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:05,604
Maybe I did overreact.
391
00:18:05,605 --> 00:18:09,294
Well, you happy now?
392
00:18:09,295 --> 00:18:10,401
You finally beat me.
393
00:18:10,402 --> 00:18:14,238
- Matty, it's not a competition.
- Yeah.
394
00:18:14,239 --> 00:18:15,614
Well, my loss.
395
00:18:15,615 --> 00:18:18,534
My win!
396
00:18:21,139 --> 00:18:24,075
Good on you, bro.
397
00:18:24,076 --> 00:18:25,416
Good night, everybody.
398
00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:28,145
Good night, Matthew.
399
00:18:28,146 --> 00:18:29,712
I feel bad for him.
400
00:18:29,713 --> 00:18:31,649
Me too.
401
00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:34,592
It must be really hard to...
I'm a better kisser?
402
00:18:34,593 --> 00:18:38,095
Yes, and you're
better in bed too.
403
00:18:38,096 --> 00:18:41,098
Yes!
Wh... what?
404
00:18:41,099 --> 00:18:44,495
I'm kidding!
405
00:18:44,496 --> 00:18:46,630
I'm sorry
if I made you feel bad
406
00:18:46,631 --> 00:18:49,299
by going out
with the lesser kisser.
407
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,108
I think I got it
in my head that I thought
408
00:18:51,109 --> 00:18:53,152
maybe I married
the wrong brother.
409
00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:55,804
- You did?
- But I didn't.
410
00:18:55,805 --> 00:19:00,375
I'm sure fate has some reason
for putting us together.
411
00:19:00,376 --> 00:19:04,121
And, eventually, I'll figure out
what the hell that is.
412
00:19:04,122 --> 00:19:07,416
- Good-night, sweetie.
- Good-night, honey.
413
00:19:23,701 --> 00:19:26,703
Get out.
414
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,480
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
415
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,099
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416
00:19:33,149 --> 00:19:37,699
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