Original subtitles

[Phyla] Guardians of the Galaxy,

you are accused of high crimes

against the Kree Empire,

and will be detained here until your trial.

[Gamora] Brace yourselves, Guardians.

Kree prisons are notoriously harsh.

And yet Drax finds this one

sleekly designed.

[Quill] You know, I got to say, Gamora,

not really feeling the harsh here.

I am Groot.

[Rocket] Hoo hoo!

I always wanted to be thrown

into a place like this.

Seriously, Rocket? You wanted to be thrown

into a place that looks like my grandmother's house?

Flarg, yeah. The cells are modular.

They move around at random,

so it's impossible to plan an escape--

for anyone but me, of course.

Welcome, dearies,

to the Kree Monolith of Justice.

I'm Doctor Minn-Erva, your dedicated guide

to the world of rehabilitation.

[snickering]

Follow my rules, little rodent,

and we'll get along fine.

I ain't no-- [muffled grunt]

Deviate from my rules,

and there will be dire consequences.

No one escapes from my facility.

[chuckles]

Challenge accepted.

[Quill] Okay, look, I get it.

Every fiber of your being is telling you to escape.

But this time, we got to stay put

so we can go to trial and prove our innocence.

[Gamora] Hate to say it, Rocket, but Quill's right.

For once, resist your natural instinct to be yourself.

So the rumors are true.

Let's see how tough you Guardians are.

Yaah!

[groaning]

Violent intent

is an infraction of Doctor Minn-Erva's rules.

It's the rehab module for both of you.

No.

Not the rehab module!

Time to follow my rules.

Number 1:

nobody messes with us. [thumping footsteps]

You! Guardians of the Galaxy--

[Rocket shouting]

Yaah! Oof!

Anyone got a problem with that?

[groaning]

[Phyla] You might,

considering you just knocked out

your defense counsel.

Defense counsel?

[Gamora] Phyla, you already captured us.

What are you doing here?

I will be the Accuser in your trial,

which shouldn't last long,

considering the state of your defense counsel.

Come on, you ugly lawyer, wake up!

Fine. I'll be our defense counsel.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Wait. You are serious?

Seriously delusional.

Very well, counselor.

You can start by making a full confession.

What? Wh-- That we were tricked

into stealing some mystery box from the Kree,

which was stolen from us?

If you will not confess the location of the item,

then your only hope is for a friendly witness

to testify on your behalf.

Okay, we saved the galaxy, like, a dozen times.

How hard can that be?

[Quill] Oh, hey, I know those guys.

Yes. They all came to testify--

against you.

Did anyone come to testify for us?

Huzzah!

Fandral.

Fandral of Asgard,

is it possible

the Guardians could have breached

a secure Kree facility

and robbed it?

By all means. They are excellent thieves.

If anything in the galaxy went missing... [chuckles]

I would wager it was stolen by the Guardians,

especially that rascal Peter Quill. [laughing]

I hate that guy.

Silence.

The Supreme Intelligence will have order.

The accused will step forward and confess their crime

and the location of my property.

Okay, Your Blobbiness,

I admit that it looks like we're guilty.

But here is the twist.

We were set up,

framed by a con artist and schemer

known as Howard the Duck.

And this is the same Howard the Duck

you claim stole your ship with the item on board.

Can you describe this Howard to the court?

I am Groot!

That is him. The scoundrel!

[grunts]

Can you all confirm

the defense counsel's story that you were framed

by this Howard the Duck?

I am Groot. Yes. I can.

Whoever heard of a talking duck?

Who even knows what a duck is?

What are you doing?

I won't rat out a fellow outlaw.

It's part of the Outlaw Code.

Seriously? This again?

Somebody must have set up Howard.

Somebody in this room.

The Guardians of the Galaxy are guilty

of high crimes against the Kree Empire.

You will undergo severe interrogation

until you confess your crimes,

after which

you will be executed

painfully.

[Rocket] We're about to be interrogated,

so the less you know about this plan,

the better. [grumbling]

Drax, find me a Universal Hex Bolt.

Every drainage system in the galaxy has one.

Try the exercise yard.

This colorful jiggling dessert

is giving me more than enough exercise.

Gammy, I need a half dozen of those guards' buttons,

but no one can know they're missing.

You'll have to swipe some from the prison laundry.

Groot, you got the tough job.

I need that.

[toilet flushes]

Quill, I need a transducer coil switch

from that food dispenser.

No, no. That's a fake assignment.

You always trick me into getting a part you don't need,

and then you laugh about it later.

[groans] I don't got time for this.

Okay, fine. You can be the distraction.

Ow! [grunts]

[growling]

I take it back! You can be the distraction!

Aah!

Uhh!

[burbling]

[groans]

Peter Quill, I know from studying your records

that when a Guardian is involved in a prison fight,

it is often a distraction

for someone like you.

Almost.

Huh? [chuckles]

[Doctor Minn-Erva] What are you hiding there, rodent?

Get this through your thick blue skull, lady.

I ain't no rodent!

There's no need for that tone.

Aren't those the same inmates

who tried to attack us when we got here?

And now they are rehabilitated,

as you all will be.

[shouting]

Stick to the plan. [bell dings]

I am Groot?

Uhh.

What the flarg?

[grunting]

I ain't talkin'.

That's no attitude for a good little rodent.

I ain't no rodent!

[grunts]

And I definitely ain't good.

I know this is a process for you.

[grunting]

I'd like to process you into a million pieces!

I've decided it will be best for you

to have a period of Total Immediate Mental Eradication

Of Unacceptable Temperament.

Or what I call a TIMEOUT.

[yells, grunts]

This supposed to scare me?

Ha! I never had so much fun in my li--

[electricity arcing] [shouting]

[sighs]

Uhh!

Prisoner, resume exercise.

[sighs] You call this exercise?

I call it forced labor.

[grunting]

How can it be labor if it is not laborious?

[grunting]

Behold. The Universal Hex Bolt!

Intent to escape is an infraction of Doctor Minn-Erva's rules.

[whirring]

[Gamora] You're up, distraction.

[shouting]

[shouting]

Aah!

[grunts]

Ah.

[grunting]

I... am... Groot!

I am Groot! [grunting]

[groans] Huh?

Yes! Our weapons!

[grunts] Aah!

[shouting]

[shouting]

If you will not learn to do the right thing,

I will teach you not to do the wrong thing.

Oh-ho, I'll show you.

[shouting]

Yaah!

Such defiance.

Perhaps you need another turn in the TIMEOUT box.

No! [pants] No, thank you... lady.

Oh. So polite.

I think we're making progress.

Now, that's a spin cycle.

There are the buttons Rocket needs.

You will require a distraction.

[shouting]

[sighs] Apparently, I've already got this.

I'm always the distraction!

We need backup!

[grunts]

Oka-- Not the face!

Not the face! [rumbling]

[shouting]

[gasping, coughing]

I got the buttons Rocket wanted.

[coughing] As did I.

[coughs] Me t--

Never mind.

[grunting] [snap]

I am Groot.

I don't need you to turn the Guardians

into model citizens, Minn-Erva.

I need a confession!

You are compromising Kree justice

for your own personal obsession.

You may be an Accuser, dearie,

but don't think you can accuse me.

I will have results within the hour.

Sadly, Rocket, we've run out of time.

Hey, I got all day.

The cranial interrogator can take you back,

back to the time your behavior problems began.

You can start afresh,

if you survive.

[electricity arcing]

[grumbling]

[arcing intensifies] [grunting]

[Quill] We got everything Rocket asked for.

[Gamora] Almost everything.

I am Groot.

Without Rocket, we still have no idea

what to do with any of it.

I am Groot!

Yeah! [shouts]

[grunting]

Rocket, I know you want to be good,

and I have made you something to help you do just that.

Comply, and the pain will all stop.

[grunting]

That's right, punks!

Who's a distraction now, huh? [laughs]

Gloat later. We need to get Rocket.

[beeps]

Welcome, dearies.

[Drax] Where is our friend?

[Quill] Rocket!

Oh, good. Whew. You're still yourself.

I'm better than myself.

I'm a good little rodent now.

Your friends have broken my rules.

Subdue them.

You don't have to listen to her.

I don't have to. I want to.

[yells]

Rocket, no! Uhh!

That woman has damaged your mind.

She freed my mind. Raah!

[shouting]

[all groaning]

[Doctor Minn-Erva] Now, be a good little rodent

and put your friends in the TIMEOUT box,

would you, dearie?

Uhh! Aah!

Aah! Uhh!

There we are. Eh...

A good little rodent.

She did it. She actually broke him.

And from the looks of that light show,

I'd say we're next.

[echoing] Okay, everybody, resist the mind control.

Think of my favorite songs.

[echoing] We hate your songs.

Fine. But whatever you do,

don't stare at the--

the...

lights.

The lights...

Stare at the-- Huh?

[Rocket] If you're watching this, then either I'm krutacked,

or my plan is working perfectly.

You losers better have all the components,

'cause you're gonna rig them up here

inside the TIMEOUT box.

Ha! See?

Even creepy granny lady can't stop Rocket

from being Rocket.

I am Groot!

[Drax] But did Rocket leave us these instructions

before or after he was rehabilitated?

So neat and well behaved. [chuckles]

Now I need you to confess the location

of the item you stole from the Kree.

I do not know where it is.

I believe you, dearie,

but your friends may know something more.

I will get them to confess.

Please, may I do that for you?

Oh, you are such a good little rodent.

Come give your Auntie Minn-Erva a hug.

I cannot bear to watch.

Well, don't just stand there, dummies.

Get to work.

But you hugged her.

Yeah, so I could swipe these!

Now would be a good time to tell us what your plan is.

So, you know all the power outages

you guys caused getting this stuff?

Well, the generator's already rerouted all systems

to the biggest power consumer in the place:

the TIMEOUT box. [whirring]

So what do you say we flush this joint?

[whirring] [rumbling]

[gasps] Guards!

If you can't escape from prison,

then you got to escape with prison!

Go stop Grandma Nutjob

while I fly us out of here.

You've all been very naughty, hmm?

Uhh!

[Quill] Our weapons!

Thanks, Rocket.

Ah-ah-ah!

I wouldn't do that,

or you'll be in for quite a shock.

Or you would be

if I still had my knitting needles.

[grunts]

Uhh! Oh, this is unacceptable!

Lady, we're the Guardians of the Galaxy.

We don't just break rules, we obliterate them.

Then obliteration is what you shall receive.

If you will not be rehabilitated,

you will be punished.

Disable that module!

I want them alive!

Have to say, I kind of liked her better in the chair.

Uhh! Aah!

Hold still, dearie.

Aah!

Now behave.

[grunts]

Ah-ah-ah.

Stop right there, rodent.

So rude. Didn't even say "please."

I think some naughty warden needs a little rehabilitation.

Aaahh!

I'm thinking an outpatient program.

Show her the door.

Aah!

No! Noooo!

[whimpering]

Minn-Erva?

Ohh!

The prisoners are getting away!

Oh, look at that.

Ladies are too slow to follow us.

We have escaped the inescapable,

but I have yet to devour the un-devourable.

Never mind.

I think we have bigger issues,

like tracking down that stolen Kree package

and clearing our names.

I am Groot.

No. I won't rat out Howard.

But ain't nothing in the Outlaw Code

says we can't get some payback on that krutacker

for setting us up.

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