Original subtitles

??

ZOEY: Every generation is known for something.

Gen X gave us MTV, "Friends,"

and the "first black president."

? We don't believe you 'cause we the people ?

Millennials gave us reality TV,

friends, and the real first black president.

? ...the same food ?

? The ramen noodle ?

And then there's my generation, Generation Z.

The iGeneration.

We're racially diverse,

sexually diverse...

ultra socially conscious, and hypersensitive.

? All you black folks, you must go ?

Which is part of why we love our safe spaces.

? All you Mexicans, you must go ?

Safe spaces...

a place where like-minded kids can go to be themselves,

talk, and just relax without the fear

of being judged, criticized, or triggered.

- Come on, I am feeling very judged... - You just ruined my sign!

...criticized, and triggered here!

Sometimes those safe spaces can feel a little...

not-so-safe.

? All you bad folks, you must go ?

? Watch out, world, I'm grown now ?

? I'm grown ?

? Learn something new every day ?

? I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way ?

? Got the weight of the world on me ?

? But no regrets, this is what I say ?

? Watch out, world, I'm grown now ?

- ? I'm grown ? - ? You can tell me ?

? My heart beating so loud ?

? Mama, look, I'm grown now ?

? I'm grown ?

??

So, you're probably wondering why I look like

Che Guevara in Timberland heels.

Well, I, Zoey Johnson, am getting ready to resist The Man.

? I'm black, y'all ?

Hawkins Hall has been a safe space

for black Cal U students for years,

but apparently some non-black students

felt a little threatened at this party last weekend.

Eliminate the Blue-Eyed Devils!

I thought this was just a regular costume party.

I worked so hard on this!

So, complaints were made, lawsuits were threatened,

a video of a tooth and toothbrush

sprinting down campus went viral,

and now the administration wants to shut Hawkins down,

and we are going to protest.

Now, quick question...

which one of these bracelets says "I am hella woke"?

??

In the past, my political experience

was limited to my grandma going on a hunger strike

because my dad called Omarosa a bitch.

Since then, I've tried to stay neutral.

But this was my kind of politics... a party.

? They thinkin' unintelligent, irrelevant believers ?

Hawkins Hall was poppin',

and everyone had come together to get ready

for the big protest the next day.

Ana was on flier duty,

Jazz and Sky were designing buttons,

I was helping out with signs,

and, well, no one was dumb enough to tell Nomi what to do,

so she assigned herself her own task.

Can I interest the lady in a Ros� Parks?

[DING!]

This is incredible! I feel like I'm gearing up

to got to war... that's also fabulous.

You know? It's like... It's just so organized.

Yeah. Well, you know, protests are usually organized.

That's why they're called "organized protests."

Yeah, I know. I know.

'Cause I protest all the time.

??

Yeah, don't quote me on this, but I think I helped Roger Goodell

stop the NFL from going on strike, so...

So...

Wow. You look great.

- Thanks for coming. - Yeah, of course.

- Anything for the culture. - Ah.

Not to brag, but I'm basically Michelle Obama.

Do you wanna grab tacos after this? Hang out?

Uh, yeah. I-I'd be down for that.

Can I interest the gentleman in an Ale Sharpton?

[DING!]

- Tequila Mockingbird? - [DING!]

40 Acres and a Moscow Mule?

Okay, we told you... you need to stop.

Yeah, no one wants an "I Am Not Your Negroni."

- No one? - [SIGHS]

I cannot believe they're trying to shut us down again.

This is the second time this year

people have complained about Hawkins.

? Freeze, freeze ?

? So, when the Po-po roll up ?

- ? They don't have to hold up, homie ? - ? Freeze ?

Hey, yo, deejay, play "[Bleep] tha Police."

Yeah!

[CHANTING] Play "[Bleep] tha Police!"

- Play "[Bleep] the p..." - Dude! We are the police.

Oh.

I just wish they realized how important

this place was to us, you know?

Yeah. No, I totally get it.

Minorities need a place where you can go

to just be yourself.

Exactly. Thank you, Ana.

I wish my people had a place like this to go.

- Well, why can't they? - I don't know.

This seems like so much work.

First you gotta get one open, and then fight to keep it open?

I don't know. I'm just not good with big stuff like this.

I was told my quincea�era "lacked vision."

It's easy. A carefully planned protest

can definitely help you get your own space, okay?

First you gotta get the word out on social media,

then you get your signatures, your permits.

Finally, you gotta find someone crazy enough to sponsor

a million-dollar-liability insurance policy.

I am Professor Dr. Charles Telphy.

[DING!]

Then you got everything you need,

and no one can shut you down.

[CHUCKLES] Talk about planning.

One time, I had to rent a bouncy house

for my friend's birthday party.

You'd think you need a permit for that.

You don't.

Okay.

Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing.

You need the right slogan, like ours...

Black Dorms Should Matter.

We're trending on Twitter right now.

#BDSM. You might've seen it.

[CHUCKLES]

That may not be us. Guys, we need to change this.

Aaron, this is so awesome.

You're, like, legit taking action.

I mean, most people would just add some dumb filter

to their profile picture.

Well...

I think the right filter used at the right time

can be a very powerful political tool.

Yeah?

- Sure. - Yeah.

But look, black and brown, we've gotta stick together.

That's why I'm always down to help out the Latina cause.

Oh. Oh, no, no. No, no.

I'm talking about my other people...

women on the Right.

My right or your right?

No, she's not referring to a physical person.

I think she means to the right of the political spectrum.

Conservative women.

Wait, so you want a safe space for Conservatives?

Yeah.

No.

Forget everything I just told you.

And your slogan should be "Get the hell out of here."

All right?

Oh, I think they already used that one for immigration.

??

This is my dad and Omarosa all over again.

So, our pre-protest party to keep Hawkins open

has taken a nasty turn.

Wait, so you were fine with me fighting for a Latina safe space,

- but not one for Conservatives? - Yeah.

You don't need a safe space. Your safe space is Congress.

- The White House. - Every Reddit thread.

- AM radio stations. - Basically any Cracker Barrel.

Oh, my God. I love that restaurant.

AARON: It's, like, why? Anyway, the point is,

everywhere I go in America, I feel like I'm at a NASCAR race.

So, I actually need a safe space.

Well, I'm not feeling very safe right now,

because the second I said "Conservative"

- you jumped down my throat! - Oh, whoa!

Whoa, hey... hey, guys.

This "Fight the Parker" sign

isn't gonna glitter itself, so...

You know what? I'm sorry. I just kinda got distracted

because we're talking about a group of people

who think tiki torches are appropriate protest gear.

Hey, I am not alt-right.

And maybe you'd know that if you bothered to listen to me.

I am listening to you.

But how can a Latina woman even be a Republican?

Because I believe in a lot of their policies!

The policies that oppress black people

or the ones that oppress poor people?

Actually, big government oppresses people,

and California is the worst.

Did you guys know that we basically have no concealed carry here?

I'm sorry, and that's a... bad thing?

- Yes. - I just realized how fun-crazy you are.

A gun escalates any situation,

and you wanna arm a bunch of idiots?

- That... That makes sense. - Oh, so I'm an idiot now?

He didn't mean it like that!

Well, you may not be an idiot,

but you believe in policies that are idiotic.

Okay, and see? This... This right here

is exactly the reason why I need a safe space.

'Cause for some reason Conservatives are the only group

that it's okay to openly hate on.

We're like the most oppressed group on campus.

- ALL: Whoa! - Come on.

You are not more oppressed than the black man.

- That I can promise you. - Uh, I don't know, dude.

I don't think anybody is more oppressed than the gays.

BOTH: Well...

And don't even get me started on my other people... the Jews.

- Oh, God. - Here we go.

My people have dealt with a lot of oppression!

Not 300 years of slavery!

6 million Jews! Hitler!

BOTH: Slavery!

Can't all atrocities just get along?

Look, all I'm saying is if safe spaces are a good thing,

why can't my group get one?

Maybe Ana kinda has a point.

How do we decide who gets a safe space?

It's easy, okay? Everyone but her!

??

You know what?

I came here to help, and all you've done is attack me.

I'm out.

??

So, can we get back to the Jews?

Okay.

So, last night had been a bust.

I didn't get tacos,

I didn't get enough credit for my socially conscious outfit,

and my friends could no longer stand to be in a room together.

I needed a break.

I need to be around beautiful objects.

Wow. You're here early.

- Trying to make me look bad? - You know that's impossible.

- Nice. - [CHUCKLES]

But seriously, what's good?

You taking something out on that dress?

Look, I get it... lace is very two seasons ago,

but it didn't murder your family or anything.

Everybody's arguing about safe spaces.

- "Safe spaces"? - Mm-hmm.

No, so quiet for that. It's such a clich�.

It's, like, we get it. You have feelings.

Your generation is softer than Drake.

What? Wait. Pause. Aren't we the same age?

Physically, sure.

Well, I mean, what's so bad

with somebody getting a safe space if they want one?

All a safe space is is a bunch of people sitting around

agreeing with each other.

I'm not sure that's what it's about.

- It's a place to go to feel comfortable. - But that's the thing...

people need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

So, is that why you're always trying to make people uncomfortable?

Oh, you're... you're doing it right now.

You're welcome.

[LAUGHS] Okay.

Are you gonna help me?

After talking to Luca,

I started to think maybe he was right.

??

My generation was so afraid of being judged,

criticized, and triggered,

but was it helping us?

Maybe we all needed a little more discomfort.

[PROTESTERS CHANTING SLOGANS IN UNISON]

Save Hawkins Hall! Black Dorms Should Matter!

- Safe Spaces for One, Safe Spaces for All! - [STATIC CRACKLES]

DEAN PARKER: Students, please, let's keep it civil!

Hey, hey! Hey, let me tell you about my safe space.

My mom's boyfriend built me a tree house.

It was really just a few boards nailed...

Was that a diaper?!

Did someone throw a diaper at me?!

Who brings a baby to a protest? Come on!

Guys! Guys, what the hell is going on?

Ana is trying to destroy our protest.

You have no right to be here.

Yes, I do. I've got my permit.

Oh, also, thank you so much for that advice,

'cause now my slogan is trending on Twitter.

#YesAllSafeSpaces and #YASS.

What a surprise. You know, you're profiting off my work.

Historically that's what Conservatives have always done,

- so you're on the right track. Good job. - Don't touch me!

Okay, dudes, this... this is a solvable problem.

Ana, what if you... you did your protest on a different day?

Look at your girl Zoey just reaching across the aisle.

Or she can just stop being stupid.

Call me "stupid" one more time.

Happily. You're stupid. That wasn't hard.

- Okay, you know... - Okay, that's my sign!

- I worked on it... - Students, come on! Come on!

- Come on, I am feeling very judged... - You just ruined my sign!

...criticized, and triggered here!

ZOEY: As Dean Parker tried to keep Ana

from going all Sinaloa on Aaron,

things were getting out of hand with the rest of the crowd,

and somehow in our fight to feel safe,

we turned this whole campus into a war.

I have to go home and change my profile filter.

[SIREN WAILING]

I could not be more disappointed.

I fielded 142 complaints of feelings getting hurt,

including one of my own.

Why was my face on so many signs?

I'm cool.

Also, the campus is littered with trash,

three fires broke out, and our founder...

What kind of monster would do this?

Maybe we could use our liability insurance?

Yes, I have looked over these forms.

Interestingly, they're signed by Professor Telphy,

but this is not his signature.

He signs all his legal documents as "John Hancock."

Lucky for you, Charlie doesn't have a Social Security number,

so he should be relieved of any financial burden.

Legally, he's dead.

It's very difficult being his employer.

- So, we're good? - Oh, not at all. No.

Your voices got in the way of student safety.

So, no. We're not good.

It was supposed to be a peaceful protest.

All I was asking was for my cause to be respected.

Get a better cause. Maybe I'll respect it.

You wanna start with me again, bro?!

- Miss Torres, please! - Sorry.

[SIGHS]

I've been through a lot today.

My feelings are hurt, I'm very emotional,

and I just found out my block is riddled

- with sex offenders. - I'm sorry.

So I'm gonna settle this argument once and for all.

They're disbanding Hawkins?!

Well, it's not just Hawkins.

It's the LGBT dorm,

the international dorm, the athletic dorm.

They all have to be neutral now.

This is so messed up!

Okay, Zoey, you... you have to believe me.

This isn't what I wanted at all.

Yeah, but it happened.

Ana, you incited an actual, physical riot.

Uh, I was exercising my right to free speech.

Can you please stop spouting these political buzzwords?

I'm trying to tell you that real people got hurt.

Real people get hurt when they don't have their rights.

My grandpa has been in jail in Cuba for five years now

because he said one thing the government didn't like.

So, don't tell me that "free speech" is just some buzzword

because it is everything when you don't have it.

??

God, I'm... I'm sorry.

I had no idea.

No, because you guys judge me

before I can even finish a thought.

You all assume that I'm just some idiot.

I'm sorry, and I don't think of you as some idiot.

I mean, for starters,

you do have incredible taste in friends.

[LAUGHS] What?

I just wanna say, I'm...

I'm listening if you wanna finish that thought.

You really wanna talk politics with me?

How much ice cream do we have?

? Where are your colors? ?

? Ooh ?

The more I listened to Ana

and how passionate she was about her beliefs,

the more I realized things weren't always black and white.

She's a Republican who believes in gay rights

and climate change.

She had some crazy ideas about e-mail servers...

but we had a lot more in common than I thought.

All I needed was for Aaron to see that, too.

- Hell, no! - I just think

if you talked to Ana and really listened to her,

then you'd understand where she's coming from.

Do you understand where I'm coming from?

Well, I mean, I want to. I think I do.

Do you know the black population at Cal U?

Yeah, it's 75% of my friends, so that'd be like...

...73%?

It's 4%, Zoey. 4%.

Do you know that there were two weeks last year

where I didn't see any black people except for on "The Walking Dead"?

Until they got killed

- by the white guy with the crossbow. - Daryl.

But this was the only place on campus I could go

and be around black people and celebrate our culture.

You know, it wasn't just to voice my opinion.

It was more than that, and now the whole...

- the whole thing is wrecked. - I'm sorry.

And I know Ana feels terrible,

but, I mean, she's kinda in the same position now, too.

We are not in the same position. Please, let's be clear on that.

N-N-No one knows Ana's political views until she states them.

As for me, I am black the minute that I walk into a room.

So are you. Why are you not more angry about this?

God, I am angry! But it's not that simple.

Yes, it is that simple. Clearly.

You're just a shallow girl from Sherman Oaks...

- What? - ...who doesn't care about anybody

...with real problems,

so she stands back and allows herself to be complacent in shit

that could really hurt people.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

??

??

? Yo, this is audio crack-cocaine ?

? Novocaine numbing brains ?

Ana.

Sit.

? Yellow-back cats with blues, call it hatred ?

- You sure that's a good idea? - Nope.

- Why not? - Yeah, it's been a slow day.

- I wanna see a good fight. - Okay.

- Never mind. - Come on. Please?

For me.

??

Why? So you can just pull up another fence to sit on?

Hey, guess what? I have my own opinion,

and it's not just some co-opted belief

from the last Ta-Nehisi Coates article I read, okay?

And even if you don't agree with it

doesn't make it any less valid.

Dude, you aren't the only one here who cares.

And, you know, maybe if you weren't so in love with your own voice,

- you'd still have a dorm. - BOTH: Ooh!

Aaron, you are an asshole for not letting her have an opinion.

And my dear, lovely, sweet roommate,

you are an asshole for getting Hawkins closed.

I don't have to be here for this, right?

- Sit. We're all assholes. - Okay.

Look, I know I come off like I don't stand for anything,

but I do.

I stand for my friends.

And sure, I believe in safe spaces,

but unless everyone has a voice, none of us have a voice.

So, can we all agree to just listen to each other?

Can we all agree to just not be assholes to each other, please?

??

AARON: Yeah.

Okay. Great.

I still have to move into the, uh,

substance-free dorm next quarter, but... it's great.

??

[SIGHS]

And that's why you have to reconsider

closing all the safe spaces.

Because unless everyone has a voice, no one has a voice.

[SIGHS] No.

Just give it a second and let it sink in, please?

That's the way my friends felt at first, too.

Miss Johnson, I...

really appreciate that you consider me a friend,

but these spaces are making everyone on campus uncomfortable.

Well, you know, a wise person once told me

that we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I mean, that's what college is about.

We should learn from our discomfort.

Okay, Miss Johnson, let me be very clear.

The reality of this situation is

these groups cannot find a way to coexist peacefully.

Well, if I prove to you that they can, will you reconsider?

I don't think you're allowed back here.

It's too late.

??

? No matter what's going on ?

? Gotta know that we can do better ?

? Everybody got some problems ?

? The only way to solve is together ?

? Feelin' like I'm moving on ?

Impressive.

They do know what "BDSM" stands for, right?

- I'm honestly not sure. - Ah.

? Then the only thing left is we ?

??

What?

Nothing.

No, seriously. What?

It's just what you said, and, uh, what you did for Hawkins.

Not too bad for a shallow girl from Sherman Oaks, huh?

You're definitely more than that.

Thank you.

And when Hawkins is off probation,

we'll throw a party to celebrate, and you'll be the first one invited.

Oh, great. I'm so flattered. Just no costumes.

But th... Costume parties are a basic human right.

Okay, I'm done fighting with you.

Thank you.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com

- Doesn't mean you win. - Yes.

- Don't... No, not the smile. - Yes, it does.

You have something on your face. Can I please get it?

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