Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:05,338
Hey. How was your shower?
2
00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:08,041
Nice... all the rust in your
water makes a great exfoliant.
3
00:00:10,345 --> 00:00:11,811
And you thought it was gonna kill you.
4
00:00:11,813 --> 00:00:14,080
Seriously, don't let
that get in your mouth.
5
00:00:15,237 --> 00:00:17,317
Kind of wish the walls were
a little thicker, though.
6
00:00:17,319 --> 00:00:19,185
It feels like your neighbor
could hear everything.
7
00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:20,219
Not everything.
8
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,655
Good to know, Ray.
9
00:00:22,657 --> 00:00:24,457
This one's a keeper, Jenny.
10
00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:26,693
Ray has been very supportive.
11
00:00:26,695 --> 00:00:29,462
Oh, I love having you
here and playing house.
12
00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:30,697
Mm.
13
00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:32,398
I think you should stay here every night.
14
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,033
Yeah, though I do miss
15
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,902
my organic California-king
pillow-top, extra-firm,
16
00:00:35,904 --> 00:00:37,637
adjustable memory-foam mattress.
17
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,874
Well, old lumpy's been
with me since I was 19.
18
00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,544
Oh, my God.
If this bed could talk...
19
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:48,314
It would be silent.
20
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,350
So, where do you want to sleep
tonight... the hill or the valley?
21
00:00:50,352 --> 00:00:52,352
Mm, I'll take the hill. I like the view.
22
00:00:52,354 --> 00:00:53,786
Okay.
23
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,256
- Good night.
- Good night.
24
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,424
Are you guys gonna do it?
25
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:00,560
- Good night, Ray!
- Good night, Ray!
26
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:06,833
Are you wearing jeans?
27
00:01:06,835 --> 00:01:09,035
Yeah. This is how we dress downstairs, man.
28
00:01:09,037 --> 00:01:10,937
And I got to tell you, I kind of like it.
29
00:01:10,939 --> 00:01:13,106
It's super-laid-back.
The hours are great.
30
00:01:13,108 --> 00:01:14,707
You know what I saw when
I got out last night?
31
00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:15,708
- What's that?
- Night.
32
00:01:17,212 --> 00:01:18,511
I miss night.
33
00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:21,438
I haven't had a night off since
the "Sex and the City" movie.
34
00:01:21,469 --> 00:01:21,914
Which one?
35
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,249
There were two?
36
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,417
Ohh.
37
00:01:24,419 --> 00:01:25,952
I never go out anymore, man.
38
00:01:25,954 --> 00:01:27,887
I can't remember the last time I got laid.
39
00:01:27,889 --> 00:01:29,422
I'm in, like, a record dry spell.
40
00:01:29,424 --> 00:01:31,791
I swear, this morning... heat lightning.
41
00:01:33,106 --> 00:01:34,427
I don't have time for this, okay?
42
00:01:34,429 --> 00:01:35,595
I got to go talk to Mansfield.
43
00:01:35,597 --> 00:01:37,196
Ooh, in jeans?
44
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,965
Do you want to borrow my emergency slacks?
45
00:01:38,967 --> 00:01:40,199
No, no, no, no.
46
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,601
This time, it's not about business.
47
00:01:41,603 --> 00:01:42,935
I'm gonna remind him of
our personal connection.
48
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:44,137
He can't resist that.
49
00:01:44,139 --> 00:01:46,139
Unrelated, why do you look so good?
50
00:01:46,141 --> 00:01:47,306
Your skin's glowing.
51
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:49,041
This morning, I had a rusty shower.
52
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:51,444
Oh, my God, they invented new sex moves?
53
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,580
Good morning, Mr. Mansfield.
54
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,115
I have a little something for you.
55
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,483
What's with the costume?
56
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,252
It's not a costume. They're called jeans.
57
00:01:59,254 --> 00:02:00,987
Well, I know what they are.
58
00:02:00,989 --> 00:02:03,723
I own several pair of dungarees myself.
59
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,826
You'd be surprised just how many
Western-themed charity events
60
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,161
I have to attend.
61
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,496
Actually, I went to one the other night.
62
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:11,964
I can't remember what it was called,
63
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:14,766
but they show you pictures
of... of teeth and gums,
64
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,736
and damn it if you
don't just write a check!
65
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,340
Well, anyway, I thought you
might be interested in this.
66
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,942
It's the original signature
page from the Thomas account.
67
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,210
I found it downstairs.
68
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,879
It must have been shredded by accident,
69
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:28,714
so I pieced it together...
it reminds me of the time
70
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,449
we accidentally shredded the Mays file.
71
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,885
You and I worked all night reassembling it.
72
00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:34,887
And then, as the sun rose on your balcony,
73
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:36,955
you said... why?
74
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,857
I see what you're doing.
75
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:41,894
You've come in here with
hopes of warming me up
76
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:45,631
with your talk of old times
and your blue cotton trousers.
77
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,867
I was just making conversation.
78
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,869
But that's not our relationship anymore.
79
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,137
You know what they say...
80
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,640
Fool me once, not gonna happen.
81
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,708
Fool me twice, I thought I made it clear
82
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,144
you didn't fool me the first time.
83
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,080
So, you and I can no longer talk?
84
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,348
Don't blame me.
85
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,750
I used to love giving you advice.
86
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,386
But there will be no more chitchat.
87
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,488
Just so you know, I
spent a long time on that.
88
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,356
- That sound like chit.
- Just let me say...
89
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,892
That sounds like chat. Good day.
90
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,994
- Ms. Harris!
- Yes, sir?
91
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,162
What do you need? Anything.
92
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:20,199
You want me to write a logarithm,
algorithm, cryptarithm?
93
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:22,334
Like they said at
M.I.T., I've got "-ithm."
94
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,435
Ha.
95
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,103
How would you like to be a part
96
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,739
of one of the biggest deals
in the history of this company?
97
00:03:26,841 --> 00:03:28,007
I would love to!
98
00:03:28,009 --> 00:03:30,042
And you will. But not today.
99
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,646
Go ahead and un-shred
that for me, will you?
100
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,815
- Great. I love puzzles.
- I love your attitude.
101
00:03:35,817 --> 00:03:37,817
- You know, I was actually voted...
- We're done!
102
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,995
Well, it's gonna take longer than I
thought to get out of these jeans.
103
00:03:48,997 --> 00:03:52,164
Oh, not if I have
anything to do with it.
104
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,033
Mwah.
105
00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:55,868
I know you want your job back upstairs,
106
00:03:55,870 --> 00:03:57,403
but I love having you down here.
107
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,438
They're here! They're here! Paychecks!
108
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,740
Ha, ha, yes!
109
00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:02,275
I don't work this hard for nothing.
110
00:04:02,277 --> 00:04:04,710
- Can you bring me mine?
- I'm on break.
111
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,245
Guess who's getting his beard trimmed?
112
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:09,248
And not at the dog place.
113
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,183
Mr. Moyer, I believe that's for you.
114
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:12,852
Oh, this is very exciting.
115
00:04:12,854 --> 00:04:14,954
This is my very first downstairs...
116
00:04:14,956 --> 00:04:18,190
What the... fi... how?
117
00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:19,725
This can't be right.
118
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,060
Oh, no. It's not.
119
00:04:21,062 --> 00:04:22,528
They forgot to take out social security.
120
00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,196
So they'll just take out more next time.
121
00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:25,531
"Take out more"?
122
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,967
This is less than I pay my waxer.
123
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:34,807
For my car, you idiot.
124
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,778
Well, well, well, well, well.
125
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:41,581
Looks like poor little
rich boy's now got to wax
126
00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:45,117
like all us poor people.
127
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,920
Hey, Harvard, Brody's one of us now, okay?
128
00:04:47,922 --> 00:04:49,555
I'm just saying... upstairs people
129
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:51,390
can't make it on a downstairs paycheck.
130
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,926
Dude, I was a money manager, okay?
131
00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:56,228
If you can do it, I can do it.
132
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:57,830
Why don't you put your lack of money
133
00:04:57,832 --> 00:04:59,365
where your tiny, hairless mouth is?
134
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,500
How about I put my tiny, hairless mo...
135
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,336
This is not going anywhere good.
136
00:05:03,338 --> 00:05:05,338
All right, why don't you two make a bet?
137
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:07,139
Whoever has the most money left over
138
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,975
from their paychecks on Friday wins.
139
00:05:08,977 --> 00:05:10,343
- I'm in.
- Yeah, me too.
140
00:05:10,345 --> 00:05:12,111
Babe, are you sure?
141
00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:14,347
You're gonna have to make, like,
some serious waxing adjustments.
142
00:05:14,349 --> 00:05:16,949
Well, trust me. I can
figure out a way, okay?
143
00:05:16,951 --> 00:05:18,818
I can live on this every week.
144
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:19,819
It's every two weeks.
145
00:05:19,821 --> 00:05:21,253
What the f... how?
146
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:32,465
All right, to make the bet fair,
I cashed both your paychecks.
147
00:05:32,467 --> 00:05:35,768
You each get the same amount
of money minus the "ADM" fee.
148
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,169
Oh, you mean ATM fee.
149
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:40,106
No, ADM... "Automatic Derrick Money."
150
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,975
Okay. It's on.
151
00:05:42,977 --> 00:05:46,479
How do I know Brody's not gonna
cheat with his rich-people tricks?
152
00:05:46,481 --> 00:05:47,647
You know, with...
153
00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:49,782
Bank accounts and credit scores.
154
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,486
Simple... Just give
me all your cards. Okay.
155
00:05:53,488 --> 00:05:56,122
All right, Brody's got a
gold card, platinum card,
156
00:05:56,124 --> 00:05:57,456
and a black card.
157
00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:01,193
Harvard's got a sandwich-club
card, a yoga-club card,
158
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:04,196
and a card that appears
to be the six of diamonds.
159
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,832
Were you thinking of the six of diamonds?
160
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:07,800
I am now.
161
00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,802
How did I do it?
162
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,509
Hey, Jenny.
163
00:06:16,511 --> 00:06:17,710
Can I talk to you for a second?
164
00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:19,645
Sure.
165
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,714
Um... So...
166
00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:24,183
I'm having a bit of a
dry spell with the ladies.
167
00:06:24,185 --> 00:06:25,584
Okay.
168
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,320
And I was wondering if you had a friend
169
00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:31,891
you could maybe set me
up with who could...
170
00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:34,660
Make it rain.
171
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:40,833
Okay, so, you would like
to use one of my friends
172
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,268
as a slump-buster.
173
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:48,240
That is a degrading term,
and I would never use it.
174
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:51,010
Why? Were you thinking of
somebody specific, or...?
175
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:55,047
Oh, that's impressive.
176
00:06:55,049 --> 00:06:57,917
You have perfectly re-assembled
an e-mail from my wife
177
00:06:57,919 --> 00:06:59,852
asking me what I want for dinner.
178
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:01,353
Spoiler alert...
179
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:05,691
it's anything with meat
because, damn it, I'm a man.
180
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:07,226
I've never met anyone
181
00:07:07,228 --> 00:07:10,029
who printed out and shredded
all of their e-mails.
182
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:11,597
Well, if it's worth
reading, it's worth printing.
183
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:12,965
And if it's worth printing,
184
00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:15,334
then it's no one else's goddamn business.
185
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,905
You know, I got to confess to you...
186
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,741
you remind me of someone...
187
00:07:21,743 --> 00:07:25,411
a new associate working late
on a night not unlike this
188
00:07:25,413 --> 00:07:27,413
with a man a hell of a lot like me.
189
00:07:27,415 --> 00:07:30,549
And I just want you to know
that if you ever need any advice
190
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,550
I'm here.
191
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,753
Well, I have a system.
192
00:07:33,755 --> 00:07:35,554
I bet you do.
193
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,289
Show me what you got there, kiddo.
194
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,091
First, I find a letter.
195
00:07:39,093 --> 00:07:40,493
Aha.
196
00:07:40,495 --> 00:07:41,761
Then, I make up a song about that letter.
197
00:07:45,066 --> 00:07:46,165
Good night!
198
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,439
Whatcha doing?
199
00:07:53,441 --> 00:07:55,007
My budget.
200
00:07:55,009 --> 00:07:57,910
Ooh, oh, panties, you stay on there.
201
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,314
Hey, this is exciting for me, okay?
202
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,016
I cut all this stuff from my budget,
203
00:08:04,018 --> 00:08:05,484
and I still have a little savings left over
204
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:06,919
to put in the bank every month.
205
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:09,255
I put my savings in
that jar over the fridge.
206
00:08:09,257 --> 00:08:10,523
That jar is empty.
207
00:08:10,525 --> 00:08:14,426
No, I used my savings to buy that jar.
208
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,996
Hey, if you stay over on Friday,
209
00:08:16,998 --> 00:08:18,697
we can go check out that farmer's market.
210
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,132
Oh, yeah, I'll definitely be here Friday.
211
00:08:20,134 --> 00:08:21,133
I just gave up my apartment.
212
00:08:21,135 --> 00:08:23,869
You did what? Y-you...
213
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,971
yeah, well, that was the
biggest savings of all.
214
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,673
I mean, that place cost a fortune.
215
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:30,376
So, we're living together.
216
00:08:30,378 --> 00:08:32,378
No. We're crashing.
217
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:34,480
Just until I get my job back.
218
00:08:34,482 --> 00:08:35,648
It's gonna be fun, right?
219
00:08:35,650 --> 00:08:37,049
Yeah!
220
00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:38,350
Yes. Fun. Yes.
221
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,786
Crashing's fun. Crashing's so fun.
222
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:43,289
I l-love me some crashing.
223
00:08:43,291 --> 00:08:45,524
So, do you want the hill or the valley?
224
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,693
Oh, whatever you want. You live here now.
225
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:03,809
Morning.
226
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:04,810
How'd you sleep?
227
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:07,279
Fan-freaking-tastic.
228
00:09:18,189 --> 00:09:21,025
Oh, spending all your money on lunch.
229
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,960
Look who's already lost the bet.
230
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,028
It's a hot dog.
231
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:26,563
And a bun.
232
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,565
Enjoy your tiny wiener.
233
00:09:31,302 --> 00:09:33,404
And your hot dog.
234
00:09:36,641 --> 00:09:42,246
For your information, my tiny
wiener only cost 79 cents.
235
00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:45,983
Damn, that's cheap.
236
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:48,752
It's not cheaper than the
buffet across the street, though.
237
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,721
You mean the grocery store?
238
00:09:51,656 --> 00:09:54,391
And then for dessert, we
had 10 packets of Splenda.
239
00:09:56,428 --> 00:09:58,662
I got to be honest. I
actually feel pretty good.
240
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,764
My teeth do hurt a little bit, but...
241
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,499
Hey, guys.
242
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:03,901
Hey, babe.
243
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:05,402
Oh, I was thinking
about for dinner tonight,
244
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:06,770
maybe Ramen at our place.
245
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,706
I think you just said "our" place.
246
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,240
Ooh, did I? I'm sorry. I meant
your place. I mean, I heard that.
247
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:11,675
Oh, no, no, no. It's not a big deal. Okay.
248
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,210
No, my place, your place, our place...
249
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:14,678
It's just a place.
250
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,814
Anyway, um, it's great seeing you.
251
00:10:24,589 --> 00:10:27,191
I mean, I don't know why
I'm freaking out, Lindsay.
252
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,726
I-I love him, but it's like...
253
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,527
We've only been dating for six months.
254
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:32,362
Oh, my God, we've been
dating for six months.
255
00:10:32,364 --> 00:10:35,733
That beats my last record by six months.
256
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,367
You don't have to tell me
257
00:10:37,369 --> 00:10:39,103
about relationships moving too fast.
258
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,705
I mean, you meet a guy,
things are hot and heavy,
259
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:45,676
and then, boom, next thing
you know, Comic-Con is over.
260
00:10:46,911 --> 00:10:49,313
And you see him without his armor,
261
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,415
and it turns out he's
just another short, fat guy
262
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:54,118
who won't call you back.
263
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,753
Sweetie, I'm sorry.
264
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,387
Don't be. I stole his sword.
265
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:01,658
I don't know.
266
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,160
Maybe I'm just over-tired.
267
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:06,130
I didn't sleep very well last
night after Brody moved in.
268
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,065
Did you say, "Brody moved in"?
269
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,299
Well, yes, sir. He, uh...
270
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:10,667
I don't care.
271
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:12,189
Not getting sucked back into his life.
272
00:11:14,139 --> 00:11:15,472
I mean, I feel bad, you know?
273
00:11:15,474 --> 00:11:17,007
He only did it to try and save money.
274
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,308
Oh, to save money...
275
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:19,810
What could possibly go wrong with that?
276
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:22,846
Let me tell you something... nothing!
277
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,982
He didn't even tell me before he...
278
00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:27,518
No.
279
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,687
Not gonna do it.
280
00:11:32,123 --> 00:11:33,690
Got to go home!
281
00:11:35,868 --> 00:11:37,828
Hey, check out that girl
cleaning out the garbage.
282
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,096
Is she cute?
283
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:40,531
No, and she's a dude.
284
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,001
He's not even cute.
285
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,803
Yeah.
286
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:47,271
I'm so off my game, man.
287
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,106
You have no idea what it's like out there.
288
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,541
You're so lucky you have Jenny.
289
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,309
Yeah, I am.
290
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:53,610
Now you guys are living
together? That's awesome.
291
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:55,212
How'd you ask her? Was it romantic?
292
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,714
Did you, like, sprinkle rose
petals or release a dove?
293
00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:01,952
Do you know how long it's been
since I've released a dove?
294
00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:04,688
You know, actually, I didn't
do anything super-romantic.
295
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:07,558
I kind of just... Didn't leave.
296
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,892
That's unlike you.
297
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,061
I mean, you're all about the big moments.
298
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,664
You wrote her a song for
your one-week anniversary.
299
00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:24,641
You got to take it easy on me...
300
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:25,709
The falsetto's too much, huh?
301
00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:27,177
It's really good.
302
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:28,412
You know, you're right, though.
303
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,746
I mean, she was freaking out
304
00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:31,081
ever since I said I was crashing there.
305
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,549
She wants a commitment.
306
00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:34,651
Yeah, of course she
does, dude. She's a girl.
307
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:36,854
Oh, it was so obvious, too.
308
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:39,990
I mean, she said that she
loved playing house with me,
309
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,992
that I should stay there every night.
310
00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,828
Learn to take a hint, bro.
She wants to be smothered.
311
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,664
Dude, that is such great advice.
312
00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:49,466
Yeah, man. I know women.
313
00:12:51,669 --> 00:12:53,337
What about her? Is she cute?
314
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:54,872
Uh, behind the old dude?
315
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:56,240
Never mind.
316
00:13:00,879 --> 00:13:03,213
All right. Catch you later.
317
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:04,448
Or never.
318
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,782
Your call.
319
00:13:06,885 --> 00:13:08,118
Jenny, thank God you're here.
320
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,586
I need your help.
321
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:10,954
Every woman in this bar has shot me down,
322
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,389
and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
323
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,024
I will buy you a car!
324
00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:15,092
Oh. Okay.
325
00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:16,526
You're here.
326
00:13:16,528 --> 00:13:17,861
Sit down. Sit down.
327
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,062
We got to get this desperate off of you.
328
00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:21,231
Okay, now, deep breath.
329
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:22,532
All that needs to happen
330
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:23,901
is that the women in here need to know
331
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,469
that one woman finds you attractive.
332
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,104
Okay, well, that's kind of the problem.
333
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:28,105
Mm, not for long.
334
00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:33,310
I'm laughing like I think you're hilarious.
335
00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:36,780
And now I'm stroking your hair
336
00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:39,283
to show a level of physical attraction.
337
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:40,951
I love you.
338
00:13:42,153 --> 00:13:43,587
- Stay focused, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
339
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:44,922
And now I'm sulking
340
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:47,224
because that girl over there is staring,
341
00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:48,825
and I'm getting jealous.
342
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,560
But she means nothing to me.
343
00:13:53,064 --> 00:13:55,732
Threepeat, listen closely, okay?
344
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:56,934
Mm-hmm.
345
00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:58,669
No, not that close. Mm-hmm.
346
00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:03,106
Go to the bar, sit down, order a drink,
347
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:05,275
and do not talk to that
girl for 10 minutes. Okay.
348
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,344
- Uh, I can maybe do 10 seconds.
- That's great.
349
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:10,647
Hey, guys.
350
00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:14,484
In a bar... on your budget.
351
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:16,920
Good way to lose the bet, Mr. Buffett.
352
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,855
Jimmy or Warren... it works both ways.
353
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:21,425
Ooh! Good burn.
354
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:24,528
I don't know who any of
those people are, but ouch!
355
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,029
Yeah, well, uh, Harvard, nice try.
356
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,497
You're also in a bar.
357
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:29,700
Yeah, because I'm an urban survivalist.
358
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,035
I can go the entire night
and not even spend a dime.
359
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,004
Okay. How'd you get that beer?
360
00:14:36,608 --> 00:14:40,010
Use what little brain you
have under those tight curls.
361
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,311
What is bar short for?
362
00:14:41,313 --> 00:14:43,013
"Bar-ter."
363
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:45,816
Actually, the term was
popularized in the old west
364
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,484
when a rail... or bar, if you will...
365
00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:48,885
ran... what am I doing?
366
00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:51,688
It's like, "hey, wind. Here comes piss."
367
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:53,190
Look.
368
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:56,026
If I want a beer, I
"bar-ter" one lingering hug
369
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:58,528
with the bartender/former cult leader.
370
00:15:01,966 --> 00:15:04,234
You feel good about yourself?
371
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,302
Yeah, always.
372
00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:06,370
Round two?
373
00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:07,804
Absolutely.
374
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:09,740
Hey, Frank, two more coors lights.
375
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,108
Get in here, fella!
376
00:15:15,313 --> 00:15:16,513
Hey, babe.
377
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,082
Hey. There he is... my Brody.
378
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,584
Where I work, where I live, where I play,
379
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,852
Brody, Brody, Brody.
380
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:23,387
That's a lot of Brodys.
381
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:25,522
Mm-hmm. Sure feels that way.
382
00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:26,723
Let's be honest.
383
00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:29,926
This whole crashing-together
thing, it's not what you want.
384
00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:30,927
Oh, my God.
385
00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:32,162
Oh, my God.
386
00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:33,196
Thank you for saying that.
387
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:34,498
I'm so sorry, baby.
388
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,599
I just didn't know how to tell you.
389
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,767
No, no, no. It's my fault.
390
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,168
I handled the whole thing wrong.
391
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,736
Look, I'm just gonna come out
392
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:41,438
and say what I should have
said in the first place.
393
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,606
Let's live together.
394
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,508
- I'm sorry. What?
- Yeah.
395
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:45,742
No more crashing,
396
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:47,744
no more "just until I get my job back."
397
00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:50,781
You and I are in this thing together,
so I'm not going anywhere.
398
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,223
I have to go. I got to go.
399
00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:01,358
Okay.
400
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,395
Somebody looks pretty pathetic.
401
00:16:14,806 --> 00:16:17,307
Oh, dude, the drought is over.
402
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:19,409
Hooked up in a big way last night.
403
00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:21,945
Oh, cool. Was anyone else there?
404
00:16:23,147 --> 00:16:25,348
This time, yes.
405
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,553
And it got pretty weird pretty fast.
406
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,222
I think she gave me a rusty shower.
407
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:33,623
Well, what exactly did she...
408
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,292
No, you know what? I don't want to know.
409
00:16:36,494 --> 00:16:37,894
How'd it go with Jenny?
410
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:39,262
Turns out your advice was not that great.
411
00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:40,831
Oh, yeah, dude. I'm terrible with women.
412
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,199
Don't you know me?
413
00:16:43,734 --> 00:16:45,402
Good morning, Mr. Mansfield.
414
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:47,704
I'm just here to take care of your plants.
415
00:16:48,747 --> 00:16:50,507
Well, I think you've
watered that one enough.
416
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,242
- How do you know, sir?
- Well, it's a lamp.
417
00:16:54,112 --> 00:16:55,612
Look, I'm sorry.
418
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:57,080
It's just things were
going so well with Jenny.
419
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:58,748
And then I move in with... you know what?
420
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,550
You know what? I forgot. No chit. No chat.
421
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:05,088
Mr. Mansfield, I did it.
I finally finished. Whew!
422
00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:08,358
I'm still a little
light-headed from the glue.
423
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,659
Well done, Ms. Harris.
424
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,328
Won't you... won't you please have a seat?
425
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:14,097
Tell me... how... how familiar are you
426
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:15,999
with the history of the conquistadors
427
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,200
of the 16th century?
428
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,970
Not super-familiar.
429
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,471
Well, in 1519,
430
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,874
Cort�s and his men
were able to do something
431
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:27,811
that no one else had done
in 600 years of trying.
432
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,012
He defeated the Aztecs.
433
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:30,447
His secret?
434
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,215
Well, he burned his own ships.
435
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:34,351
And the Aztecs were afraid of fire?
436
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:35,986
He did it to motivate his own men.
437
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,354
And his men were afraid of fire.
438
00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:38,889
T-this will go much more smoothly
439
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,057
as soon as you understand
it's not a conversation.
440
00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:42,492
Gotcha.
441
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:47,063
Cort�s wanted his men to know
that there was no way home
442
00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:49,166
and that the only way for
them to actually survive
443
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:53,637
was to defeat the Aztecs,
and... well, it worked.
444
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:55,705
It turns out when...
445
00:17:55,707 --> 00:18:00,810
when people feel cornered,
well, they'll fight like hell.
446
00:18:00,812 --> 00:18:04,548
Doesn't even matter how deeply they
may actually care about each other.
447
00:18:07,151 --> 00:18:08,318
Thank you, sir.
448
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,153
Oh, I wasn't talking to you,
449
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:13,223
but if you did glean some
insight from what I said,
450
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,691
well, there's nothing I can do about that.
451
00:18:17,161 --> 00:18:18,395
Can I just...
452
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:19,462
Don't ruin the moment.
453
00:18:24,402 --> 00:18:26,369
So...
454
00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:29,306
Good night. Okay.
455
00:18:36,447 --> 00:18:37,414
Hey.
456
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,416
Uh, listen.
457
00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:42,000
I-I'm so sorry that
I've been freaking out.
458
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,519
I love you.
459
00:18:43,521 --> 00:18:45,421
I love you. And I love having you here.
460
00:18:45,423 --> 00:18:48,791
It's just that when I see you
here, sometimes I just...
461
00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:50,693
I feel like I'm falling and
drowning at the same time.
462
00:18:50,695 --> 00:18:52,562
I'm moving out.
463
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:55,098
Oh, no. Why?
464
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,100
I know this sounds crazy,
465
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:59,235
but I don't want to burn your ships.
466
00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:00,870
Oh, you mean like Cortes?
467
00:19:02,039 --> 00:19:04,140
Yeah, actually.
468
00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:06,309
Anyway, I love living with you,
469
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,944
but I think we should
wait until we're ready.
470
00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,412
So I got my own place.
471
00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:12,615
And, uh, it's not much,
but I can afford it.
472
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:16,987
I mean, maybe you should
just crash here tonight.
473
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:20,423
Well, I guess I could just
move into my new place tomorrow.
474
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:23,560
Well, but tomorrow's
almost the weekend, and...
475
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:26,896
We could check out that farmer's market.
476
00:19:26,898 --> 00:19:28,932
I don't know. Let's just play it by ear.
477
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,233
Okay.
478
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:31,234
That sounds great.
479
00:19:34,505 --> 00:19:35,939
Baby, thank you for moving out.
480
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:37,607
No problem.
481
00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:38,808
Glad it worked out!
482
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:39,976
Thanks, Ray.
483
00:19:41,679 --> 00:19:45,715
- He's so supportive.
- He really is.
484
00:19:49,954 --> 00:19:52,756
Well, well, well, lower the drawbridge.
485
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,091
Sir spend-a-lot is here.
486
00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:56,493
Okay, okay. You got me.
487
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:57,594
But for the record,
488
00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,129
I spent the last of my money
trying to make Jenny happy,
489
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,297
and I regret nothing.
490
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:01,965
For the record,
491
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,634
I've spent the past three years
trying to make Jenny happy,
492
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,236
and you're a dick.
493
00:20:07,605 --> 00:20:10,007
All right, boys. Let's count it up.
494
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:13,210
All right, final count for Brody is $2.
495
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,978
And Harvard has $1.
496
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,113
What?!
497
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:20,517
Damn it! Why did I spend $2 on
this celebratory licorice rope?
498
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:23,053
Oh, my God. I won!
499
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,855
Wait, what did we even play for?
500
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:25,823
The usual.
501
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,995
How's it going?
502
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,030
Hey.
503
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:34,832
Come on, man.
504
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:39,469
You guys got some numbers going on here?
505
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,639
What in the hell are you doing?
506
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:44,975
I'm streaking.
507
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:48,145
Well, don't most people
run when they streak?
508
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:51,648
Most people feel shame.
509
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:54,651
Most people also feel fear.
510
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,253
Okay. Yeah. Oh, roger that.
511
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,555
I'm gonna just get this elevator here.
512
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:00,190
That's... okay.
513
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,226
Open the elevators!
514
00:21:04,426 --> 00:21:00,826
Sync: Stevo
515
00:21:00,876 --> 00:21:05,426
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36908
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
