All language subtitles for Greek s03e14 The Tortoise and the Hair.eng

We'd like to congratulate
Russell Cartwright

on being this year's grant recipient.

Rusty? It's Dana. We met at orientation.

Did you know that I've had
a crush on you since we met?

I liked you even when you were the Anchor.

Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee?

Are you freaking kidding me?
You blew it.

There's nothing you can say.
We were all friends again.

- Why did you have to screw it up?
- You screwed it up

by getting back together with Cappie.

I'm not going to apologize for
doing what I had to do for my house.

My house would never ask me
to screw with people's lives.

No, you're just a bunch of
losers while the rest of us,

including your girlfriend,
have real lives.

When am I supposed to compromise
what I want for a relationship?

This is gonna be trickier than I thought.

Thanks for breakfast, Cap.

- Who says guys can't cook?
- Oh, wow. This is amazing!

Oh, yeah, it's just this little
something I threw together

called Fruity Cocoa Cinnamon Sugar Frosted

Honey Marshmallow Berry
Waffle Pops with Clusters.

I was talking about this article on Paula
Baker's bill limiting carbon emissions.

- I worked on that bill as an intern at her office.
- "Worked on"?

OK, I made copies of it,

but something I was a
part of is actually going

to the President of the
United States to become a law!

I painted flames on my turtle.

- That's pretty.
- He's not supposed to be pretty.

He's supposed to be
awesome and intimidating.

Aren't you, Little Earnhardt, Junior...

Jr.

The KT 500 is about to begin.
Turtles, to your starting gates!

I glued nunchucks on mine
and named him Michelangelo.

Yeah? Well, we're gonna kick
your Teenage Mutant Ninja ass.

It'd be so awesome to be there

and be a part of the process, making laws.

You know, I thought you had
a bad time in Washington.

Fetching coffee, making copies.
They called you Elle Woods.

Yes, I remember, thank you.

But just because some
people in Paula's office

saw me as a vapid sorority girl
doesn't mean I should give up.

It means I have to work
harder to prove that's not me.

Good for you. You know
who else won't give up?

Little Earnhardt Junior, Jr.

I need to focus on my future.

I mean, graduation's coming
up and then... and then...

I think the turtle race is about to start.

- Don't wanna miss that
green flag. - Uh-uh.

Sweet Mother of Mary
Elizabeth Mastrantonio,

is that the new Magtromex
digital microscope?

- I didn't even know it was out yet!
- Pretty great, huh?

I knew, thanks to your grant
money, the new lab'd be hooked up,

but this is like your
own personal Bat Cave!

And you can use any of
it whenever you want.

I may take you up on that.

Especially since I'm
funding my own research now,

and not saving as much as I'd hoped,

although I did award myself the
first annual Kettlewell Prize.

- Congratulations?
- It's underfunded.

Looks like I'll be
entering the work force.

Good morning, Cartwright.

Hello, person who's
wasting Cartwright's time.

Actually, I've made some
pretty good progress so far.

I got the wire to
re-conduct for five minutes.

You must be proud of your little protege.

Behind every great man...

- ...is a great roommate.
- You're still here?

You need to dig up a
jacket and tie by tonight.

- What for?
- It's time for your moment in the sun, Cartwright.

It seems that, um,

someone talked up our
Gary Wyatt Grant winner

at the department meeting.

The dean of the Engineering school

wants to meet CRU's new wunderkind.

The dean wants to meet me?

What about the winner
of the Kettlewell Prize?

Would the dean like to meet him?

He will.

Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

Ash, there's lipstick on this glass.

Eight hour no-smear is such a sham.

I'm not wearing any.

You said you were going
to hire a new hasher.

OK, I'm still a little gun-shy
from the whole Fisher fiasco,

but I will get to it. Eventually.

Abby, if you have to go to
the bathroom, you can just go.

No, I'll do it. I'd be happy
to find us a new hasher.

Ash, just let her, please.

- OK, fine. Thanks, Abby.
- Great! I'll start making flyers!

You know, sometimes I really like her,

and sometimes I feel like she
might try to kill us in our sleep.

Forget about that. I have
an important question to ask.

- OK.
- Would you rather...

have a potato chip from this bag...
Mmm! Crunchy, crunchy, crunchy...

or from that bag that's red?

OK, obviously, you want me
to pick the crunchy one. Why?

It's for my retail marketing class.

My theory is that people'd rather go
for crunch than what the bag looks like.

I'll put you down in the
"prefers crunch" category.

I'm so happy that you decided to
go into marketing after college.

I'm actually thinking about
going back to Washington.

- That's great!
- I brought it up with Cappie.

You and Cappie actually had a
conversation about graduation?

I wouldn't actually
call it a conversation.

We haven't talked about it
since we got back together.

He hasn't even said the word.

Well, you have to live
your own life, Casey.

You have to go after what you
want and not worry about him.

I don't know where to begin
if I go back to Washington.

Paula Baker's office saw me as
Elle Woods, so that's not an option.

There's someone you could talk
to who knows about Washington,

whose dad was a senator, who's...

OK, we need a new hasher, stat!

I just found some leftovers in
the fridge. They're Frannie's.

I can't believe I'm here.
I keep thinking about

all the Ph.D's that
walked through that door.

Stay focused. You're meeting
the dean of the department,

not Justin Guarini
from the American Idols.

It's OK. I prepared an amusing anecdote

to tell the dean how I got my inspiration

from watching my fraternity
brothers shoot pool.

No, you didn't. Don't
talk about your frat house

or toga parties or beer bongs...

I'm not gonna embarrass...

Hello, Milton.

This must be our new wunderkind.

Dr. Lundquist, Rusty Cartwright.

It's such a real honor to meet you, sir.

Please, I'm the one who should be honored.

Your self-healing wire is
the talk of the department.

- Thank you, sir.
- I'm always interested in where ideas come from.

Where did you get the
inspiration for your breakthrough?

Ah, from these balls.
They weren't actually mine.

I was holding on to someone else's.

They were my brother's balls.

The balls of my fraternity brothers.

They were pool balls, sir.

- Combo shot led me to use the
cross-linker. - Fascinating.

You know, your discovery
could mean big things

Attracting higher enrollment,
increased endowments.

It lets us say, "Suck it,
MIT. We got Rusty Cartwright."

Wow!

I need to tell the trustees
about our major breakthrough

at the budget meeting next month.

Think you could have some
patent-ready diagrams by then?

Aw, that's a little fast.
We just started working...

He's being modest. He was just telling me

he's making real progress,
weren't you, Cartwright?

Ha! I knew we could
count on our wunderkind.

Now, let me introduce
the department heads.

They are dying to meet
their future colleague.

- What is going on here?
- We're here for the hasher job.

Hey, you're Ashleigh, right?

- I'm Hunter.
- Oh, hell no.

What is going on here? It looks like GQ

crashed into Men's Health and spilled
hot guys all over our living room.

Oh, apparently the word was out about
you and the last hasher hooking up,

so a lot of the guys want the job.

These are the ones I really want...

for the job.

Just because you have issues
doesn't mean the rest of us

shouldn't have our
chance at a hasher hookup.

Excuse me, I'm looking for Casey.

She's not here right now.

I suppose I can talk to you, then.

I'm here about the flier.

The hasher job. Uh, I do have experience.

I waited tables at Bible camp.

And back home I cleaned
up, uh, actual pigsties.

Oh, you're Rusty's funny friend, Kyle.

Dale. Once again, Dale.

Uh, I have a reference here from my boss

one summer at Tacos and Donuts.

It was only for a couple of weeks.

They needed replacement
dishwashers after this INS raid,

- but they let on that...
- You're hired.

- Congratulations.
- Great.

- Professor Hastings.
- Ah, the wunderkind.

- Beats being the Anchor, doesn't it?
- That was amazing.

I'm practically on a first-name basis

with three doctoral candidates
and a Nobel Prize winner.

Do you think we can be patent-ready
in a month like we promised Teddy?

- Ted? Dr. Lundquist?
- You're going to have to be.

You're in the big leagues now, Cartwright.

But just to be sure, I thought
you might be able to use some help.

So I arranged for an outstanding student

from my advanced physics
class to assist you.

Really? An assistant, huh? I've
never had an assistant before.

Ah, here she is now.
Cartwright, meet Stockwell.

Hey, Dana.

Actually, we know each other.

Is she asking me?

The way her inflection
went up at the end there,

- it sounded like a question.
- We kinda met before.

Oh, I get that you want to work in
Washington. The question is "Why?"

What do you mean?

DC's a dark and vile place
full of bad, selfish people

who have no interest in anything
but corruption and blind power.

I don't believe it's all like that.

- Hey, Casey!
- Hi! Dale.

Ashleigh waits a month
to find a new hasher,

- and then hires Bible Boy.
- Wow, you're unpleasant.

Anyway, I prepared a shopping list.

If there's anything special
you'd like, let me know.

I was thinking I might whip
up a batch of my Aunt Gertie's

- award-winning vinegar
pie just for you. - Great.

- That sounds disgusting.
- Wasn't offering any to you.

Anyway, have a blessed day, Case.

Guess Ashleigh and I won't
be fighting over this one.

So, let's assume, for a second,
that Washington isn't all a cesspool.

What do you want to do there?

Be a lobbyist, work for a federal agency,

- play for the Redskins?
- Lobbyist could be interesting.

OK. So you want to be a whore?
That's what most of them are.

You have to wine and dine
politicians, sometimes more.

It wouldn't be like that. I'd
work for an environmental group.

So you'd be a green whore? How PC.

Maybe they could pay you in weed.

The truth is, I really want to work
on new legislation, making laws.

Unless you're running for office,

and that 16-year-old
you slept with

or the Psi Phi Pi brownies
could be teensy problems.

- You should probably start in Congress.
- How do I do that?

I might know someone you could
talk to, but you'd owe me.

Seriously you wouldn't do
me a favor this one time

- without expecting something in return?
- Nope.

That's your first lesson.
Welcome to politics.

Hey, could you hand me
the microthermometer?

You ever check the throughput
on this fraction collector?

Yes. The microthermometer, please?

You should probably check it again.

You know, you're the assistant.

You're supposed to assist me.

Oh, right, because you're Mr. Wunderkind.

Big whoop.

Well, according to the dean,
it's a fairly large whoop.

Look, I realize this is awkward,

- but we're just gonna have to work through it.
- Why is it awkward?

Because you said you liked
me, and I didn't remember you.

Then I asked you out, and you blew me off.

Oh! Right. No. Now I see
why it's awkward, for you.

Hey, this is a big deal for me, OK?

It wasn't too long ago I was the Anchor

- and now I'm about to
have my name on a patent.

I appreciate your help,

but we have to focus and work quickly

if we're going to get this done on time,

and it would be great
if we could get along.

Are you trying to ask me out again?

You want me to ask you out again?

Well, it wouldn't be
appropriate, would it?

- I mean, I am your assistant.
- Right.

- So could you hand me
the microthermometer?

Will you please stop doing that?

If anybody knows his way
inside the Beltway it's Joel.

He did a lot of heavy lifting
on the Hill for my father.

He worked for your father?

Just because he worked for my
dad doesn't make him a slimeball.

He's a do-gooder.

Rebecca! Hey.

- How's your dad?
- Oh, you know,

trying to fall back in love with my mom

by never being in the same state with her.

Oh, this is my...

Casey. She wants to work in
the cesspool of lies and greed

known as Washington. I
tried to talk her out of it.

Maybe she'll listen to you.

I happen to think politics gets a bad rap.

A lot of good comes out of Washington.

- You want to barf, right?
- Same old Rebecca.

So, tell me what you've been doing, Casey.

What makes you think that
you want to work in DC?

Well, I just feel like I
have something to contribute.

It's why I kind of ran for ZBZ President,

and why I've been working on Panhellenic,

and why I interned for Paula Baker.

It sounds like you're on the right track,

although it never hurts to have
more experience for those Hill jobs.

- Like working on a campaign?
- Among other things.

We always need help
with voter registration.

We're trying to target
more college students,

get them involved in the process.

Is that something you'd be interested in?

Getting signatures? I can do that.

Great. I'll get the forms.

This is exciting.

Do little cartoon birds hold up
your robe for you every morning?

Hey, Ashleigh, I got a question.

Yes, Dale, I've heard the good word.

Uh, not my question, but glad to hear it.

I thought it'd be nice to
spruce up dinner tonight,

and since I did take a napkin folding
class at Christian manners camp,

I was wondering, would you prefer the
bird of paradise or the goblet fan fold?

Good one.

Oh! Um...

the bird?

Excellent choice.

Billy Graham Cracker has got to go.

What do you mean? The
house is already cleaner,

the pantry is stocked for
the first time in weeks

and, look, he made a little bird.

He put psalms in the cereal boxes,

and instead of pouring
the pretzels into bowls

he lays them out in little crosses.

Yeah, so, he's a little religious.

I think what we're trying to
say is, although we understand

how Dale suits you and your issue,

the house would be much better served

with someone that's more
in sync with the rest of us,

someone that's more
responsive to our needs...

Someone hotter that we
can totally hook up with.

Someone... not Dale.

No.

Have you registered
to vote? How about you?

- No, thanks.
- It's your civic duty.

Nah, I'm good.

Hey, Case. How's it going?

Not great. People either don't
know why they should register,

don't know why they should register now

or they think I'm a front for Scientology.

It was so much easier getting
signatures for the Undie Run.

You're telling me college students are
more into getting naked than voting?

I'm shocked.

Oh, hey, Rebecca told me about
your plans to work in Washington.

You're not the only one
with political aspirations.

- I think that's great, Case.
- Thank you, Evan.

I'm glad to see that your personal
life is not holding you back.

Thank you, Evan.

- I think you're both delusional.
- Could be.

- OK, I gotta get to class. See you later?
- OK.

Wow, looks like you and
Evan are going strong.

- Are we really gonna do this?
- Apparently not.

Good. We need to talk
about your sales technique.

- What's wrong with it?
- Are you kidding?

Politics is all about scare tactics.

Didn't you learn anything
from the Bush years?

Watch and learn.

You're telling me if I
don't register to vote

they're gonna bring back the
draft, and they're taking girls?

Where do I sign?

Impressive. And thank you again
for introducing me to Joel.

You should thank me. After the
election he's going back to DC

- as the representative's chief of staff...
- Oh.

Which means he's in charge
of hiring legislative aides.

Which means if I impress him,
then I could get one of those jobs.

And Cappie could open up
a DC chapter of Kappa Tau.

- We haven't talked about it.
- Good luck with that.

All right, you try these guys.

Hey, uh, register to vote,

or they, uh, might outlaw porn.

Go! Come on!

Have any of you guys
seen my project notebook?

You're missing all the
excitement, Spitter.

There's the crowds, the crashes.

It's even better than last
year's record-setting pace.

I think my turtle died.

No, just pooped.

Maybe the lighter
weight will speed him up.

Less wind resistance.

Or maybe that's just part of his strategy,

like James Bond, so everyone behind
him'll spin out on his poop slick.

See what you're missing?

Hey, actually, I was
gonna ask you something.

Has Casey mentioned anything
to you about me and her

or... the "G" word?

I don't think it's appropriate

to talk about that part
of my sister's anatomy.

No, I'm talking black gowns, tassels...

Seriously, Cap, I don't
want to talk about that.

- Oh, you mean graduation?
- Yeah, that.

I never understood the appeal.

Why would I want to leave? My
favorite coffee place is here,

my friends are here. The
weather never seems to change.

It won't always be that way.

Yeah, yeah, I know. The sun
will eventually burn out,

leaving the Earth a cold, lifeless cinder,

but I figure by then I' get a scarf.

I mean, your friends won't always be here.

People are going to move on.

Remember how you felt
losing Wade, almost Heath?

Casey's gonna graduate in May.

Thought you talked about this
before you got back together.

- Well...
- Oh, there it is.

Sorry.

That's the thing, we didn't.

One second, one second.

Hi, Professor Hastings. Yeah,
I was just on my way back...

Yeah.

You're kidding me. It's gonna happen?

OK, I'll be back. Sure. OK.

- Good news?
- There's gonna be an article about me,

with photos, interviews, the whole deal.

The university is sending a
photographer to take my picture today.

- I'm gonna be in EW.
- EW?

- Spitter's gonna be
in Entertainment Weekly.

- Awesome.
- Uh, Engineering Weekly.

- Oh. Never mind.
- Mmm.

- Still, good.
- All right, I gotta get going.

- You look good for the photo.
- Thanks.

You know who else has been
in EW? People like Carl Sagan,

Stephen Hawking, and now Rusty Cartwright.

- It's hard to believe.
- Yes, it is.

Hey, so how's that new
hasher job going for you?

It's good. It's amazing what slobs

sorority girls can be, but it's good.

I thought Ashleigh was
never gonna hire anybody

- after the whole Fisher thing.
- Who's Fisher?

He's the guy who had the job
before you when they were dating.

They had an intimate relationship?

Until they broke up,
and then she fired him.

- What?!
- I'm sorry I'm late.

Oh, wow.

Um, I'll catch up with you later.

- Have you been waiting long?
- Uh... no.

I just got hair... here.

Go ahead and laugh, but
I'll be the one laughing

when my ex-partner sees this in EW.

This is how I would've looked 20 years ago

if I got the credit I deserved
for our miniature hard drive.

- You would've had a toupee?
- I would've had my hair!

Along with everything else

The success, the respect of our peers,

the Victoria's Secret model.

This is just the beginning for us.

First EW, then Charlie Rose,

and after that, who knows? Nova?

We don't even have a wire that
lasts longer than five minutes.

Then I suggest you make that happen ASAP.

Everyone's counting on you, Cartwright.

OK, guys, let's get ready for the picture.

Move in a little closer.

Thanks. Hey, Casey.

Whoa! Are those all
new voter registrations?

Uh, yep. Um, and I already edited out

all the Eileen Dovers and Ivana Nailors.

So they're pretty much good to go.

- Wow, you're really good at this.
- Thanks!

It's amazing what you can accomplish when
you speak to what's important to people.

It's kind of how I felt working for
Paula Baker on the carbon emissions bill.

I didn't know you
worked on the Baker bill.

Yeah. Um...

Well, I was just happy to see it
made it out of conference committee

without a lot of amendments.

Oh, me, too. It's a good
piece of legislation.

Let me know if you want to do
some more campus registrations.

Actually, I had this idea to get a
lot of new student voters all at once.

There's this bar near
campus called Dobler's...

I went to law school at CRU.
I'm familiar with Dobler's,

perhaps too familiar.

I was thinking that we could throw
a big voter registration party

with this organization called Do Something,
that promotes students getting involved.

We could offer a free
cover for every new voter.

You know, that is a really good idea.

If you could pull that off, it'd be great.

Better than great, it'd be fantastic.

- Maybe even impressive?
- Are you kidding? Big time.

So, Dale, um... Hi.

- Ooh, shiny.
- Drop the act, Ashleigh.

- I know what this is all about.
- You do?

I know the real reason you hired me.

Oh.

Dale, I don't know what to say. I...

Well, I heard about what
happened with my predecessor,

and it's pretty clear to me
that you expect the hasher

to be your personal concubine.

Wait, what?

Well, despite what you may have
heard about my recent... lapse,

I'm not that kind of guy anymore, OK?

I can't be your new hasher boy-toy.

Oh, my God, you're such a riot.

You're like Dane Cook, but funny.

Sexual harassment is no laughing matter.

I felt your yearning
looks as I leave a room,

the accidental physical contact.

- Seriously?
- I need a secure job to fund my project.

I can't afford to be your plaything

and be tossed aside once
you inevitably desire

a new carnal conquest.

You know, I'm sorry, Ashleigh, I quit.

Dana.

You were sleeping. Why aren't you working?

OK, first of all, it's rude
to speak in that tone of voice

to someone who just woke up.

Sorry, but we're on a tight schedule here.

There's a lot of people
waiting for me to finish this.

Uh... Yeah,

I, uh, I hate to break it
to you, but I don't actually

think that's gonna happen any time soon.

- What are you talking about?
- I checked your work,

and it looks like you're
heading for a dead end.

With the current formulation,
maybe we can push the wire

to reconduct for 20
minutes, half hour tops.

But the decay'll accelerate
and then it's dead.

No offense, but I don't think you
know what you're talking about.

I think I know as much as you do,

and you might see that if you
weren't so cocky all the time.

I am not being cocky. I did
win a major grant for this.

OK, that sounded cocky,

but you just said my wire won't work.

Not unless you plan to keep the
environmental temperature at absolute zero.

A patentable prototype at room
temperature? Ch-yeah, right!

You're gonna have to start
out with a new formula.

Now this doesn't have anything to do

with you being mad at me

for forgetting your name at first, right?

What?! Oh, my God!

I was just asking. That was out of line.

But if this is about
that, I said I was sorry.

- I wanted to go out with you.
- I'm out of here.

But, um, if you can climb off your
ginormous ego for five minutes,

which is about how long your
stupid wire's ever gonna last,

you might wanna check my notes.

It's all in there in black and white.

Later, dunderkind.

Wow, someone's in a good mood.

Um, yeah, well, I think I might
have some pretty exciting news.

Things have been getting
pretty exciting here, too.

I think Earnhardt is
gonna try and make his move

coming into this next turn.

Yeah, it's a nail-biter, all right.

Listen, I had this idea for a voter
registration party at Dobler's.

- Well, that is exciting.
- No, that's not it.

But, if it goes well and if this
congresswoman gets re-elected,

I might have a shot at a job
in Washington in the fall.

And not just making copies,

but a real job as a legislative aide.

When life gives you legislatives,

make legislative aide.

That's great, Case.

Anyway, um, that's really soon.

So... I think, maybe,
we should talk about,

you know, the future.

And I was wondering what you were thinking

about you and me and, um...

graduation?

So, what do you think?

I like turtles.

- What?
- Listen, Case, I know it may not seem like it,

but I have given this a lot
of thought, and I have a plan.

You do? That's great. What is it?

We'll figure it out when the time comes.

- That's your plan?
- Yeah.

That's not a plan. That
is a plan to make a plan.

- Which is a plan, is it not?
- You don't even have a major.

I just don't see the need
to hash out all the details

before it's absolutely necessary.

If you'll excuse me, I think
Earnhardt blew out a left rear claw.

I think I need to get
him into the pit crew.

Uh, Ash said to give you this.

Dale's last, and only, hasher check.

Why couldn't he come himself?

He said he wanted to, quote,

"avoid even the
appearance of impropriety,"

whatever that means.

Yeah... Oh, hey, um, I
don't know if you heard,

but I am throwing this voter
registration party at Dobler's tonight.

- You should come.
- I can't. I'm being interviewed by EW tonight.

- Oh!
- Engineering Weekly.

Oh, yeah. Got it. But that's,
like, a really big deal, right?

You should be proud.

Yeah, sure. Here, let's sit for a second.

It's just, uh, I have this assistant

who thinks I'm heading down
a blind alley with my wire,

so I'm not feeling all
that proud right now.

Hey, but this party of
yours sounds impressive.

Yeah, I'm hoping it'll get me a job in DC,

but it's causing this
weirdness between me and Cappie,

and I don't know if it's even worth it

'cause Rebec says everyone
in Washington is a slimeball.

- Why are you listening to Rebecca?
- Good point.

But what about Cappie?

Maybe Cappie will surprise you.

Maybe.

And maybe you should be more
excited about this interview.

- You've worked hard. Enjoy it.
- I know.

Look at us.

The Cartwrights are kicking ass.

Yes, we are.

Hey! So, who's the hottie I
saw you talking to downstairs?

That would be Hunter, our new hasher.

His name's Hunter? Seriously?

- What happened to Bible Boy?
- He didn't want to be my sexual plaything.

Ash, has it really come to that?

So Hunter's all yours. You
can kiss him, jump on him,

roll him in bread crumbs for all I care,

'cause I am done with
the whole Fisher thing.

OK, that new hasher has got to go.

You're kidding, right?

He is smokin' hot! I thought
that's what everybody wanted.

We thought so, too, but we
get a bad feeling about him.

- He seems kinda pervy.
- We want Dale back.

He's weird and judgey, but we trust him.

Well, I can't get Dale back. He quit.

I brought you ladies some towels

in case you want to take a shower later.

Thank you.

- I'll call Dale.
- Yeah.

Well... I'm impressed.

You actually made registering to vote

not seem like a total
boring waste of time.

Yeah, I hope Joel feels
the same way, mostly.

- Have you seen him yet?
- No, but here's your boyfriend.

Rebecca. Hey, Case.

- Hey.
- Can I get you a drink?

I can't. Working. I would love a water.

Water. OK, sure.

That was awkward. What's up?

- Um, are we really going to do this?
- Yeah.

Fine. Um, I told him about Washington,

and that we should talk about graduation.

- What did he say?
- "I like turtles."

Oh. Well, what'd you expect?

That's our... uh, your Cappie.

- Great turnout, Casey. I'm impressed.
- Thanks, Joel.

With these demos, we can really
address a solid voting block.

Yawn. Wonk talk. That's my cue.

This place is packed.
Casey must be really happy.

She would be, but she tried to talk to Cappie
about working in Washington after graduation,

and he just wants to talk about turtles.

Of course.

I knew you'd find a way to blow it.

You know, talking to yourself
is a sign of insanity.

It's turning out

Casey's gonna leave you after graduation,

and what will you have left here? Turtles.

Oh, here you go.

Um, it's going really, really well.

Actually, I was thinking about,

um, doing a bunch of these at college
campuses all over the district.

That sounds interesting. I'd like
to talk more about that with you.

Why don't you come back to my
apartment later for a debriefing.

Casey, if you want to
talk about Washington

we should talk about Washington.

It's OK. I don't think
it's going to be an issue.

So, on behalf of ZBZ, I'd like you to know

that we would really... You
want to close the front door?

No, I prefer to leave it
open, if you don't mind.

Great. Anyway, I would really like it

if you would consider coming back.

Are you asking for the house or for you?

For the house. Definitely the house.

We need you, Dale, and not some
flashy hunkazoid in a cashmere V-neck.

If you were a chip, you
would be the crunchy kind

in a plain, honest bag.

I'm saying, I like your package.

Obviously, there would have
to be some ground rules.

You'd have to take a
sexual harassment seminar

and agree to sign a contract

swearing not to make
any unwanted advances.

I will do that. So, are we good?

You'll come back and be our hasher?

Let me sleep on it.

Alone.

Ah, this must be our young Einstein now.

Cartwright, this is David
Fanning from Engineering Weekly.

- Hello.
- Can't wait to hear all about this wire of yours

that's going to change the world.

Can we go off the record?

Well, we haven't gone on the record yet.

What are you doing, Cartwright?

Dana thinks we may have found
a problem with our new formula.

That's interesting, and
something we should talk about

after we're interviewed by a
national science publication.

- Back on the record.
- Off the record.

She thinks we're heading for a dead end,

which means a patentable prototype

might not be possible
for years, if at all.

That's ridiculous. Back on the record.

Off the record.

I think she may be right.

I think we should cancel
this interview, tell the dean.

Are you insane? Opportunities
for recognition like this

come around once in a lifetime,

twice only if you're very, very lucky.

I'm not about to let this one pass me by.

I don't understand. Am I supposed
to pretend that everything's OK

so you can get back at your ex-partner
who screwed you over 20 years ago?

So you do understand.

Sorry. The brilliant ones
are always a little off.

It's not easy being the wunderkind.

Oh, please stop calling me that.

Look, I got this wire to self-heal,

turn on a light bulb for five minutes.

So far that's all it does.

Maybe one day it will change the world,

and I really hope I'm the one to do that,

but right now, it just has potential.

Potential, like me, I hope.

So if you don't mind,
I'd rather not do this

because I don't feel like a genius,

I'm not a wunderkind,
I'm not a wunder-anything.

And in case there's any way you
didn't know, that's not his hair.

Is that on or off threcord?

Right.

I've been thinking
about what you'll owe me.

If you become president, I
want ambassadorship to France...

- ...or a battleship.
- You might have been right

about politics being scummy.
I think Joel hit on me.

He asked me to his
place for a "debriefing."

That was my dad's line.

I didn't think Joel was like that.

Why are all guys so disappointing?

Damn it, I really wanted that job.

- Well, if you really want
the job... - No, uh-uh.

I'm going to get to Washington,

but I'll be damned if
I get there that way.

Shouldn't you be telling
that to the slimeball?

You're right.

Hey. Let me tell you something, Joel.

Slimeballs like you are the
reason why politics suck.

Everybody's in it for what
they can get. You know what?

You're not getting me. I
am not having sex with you.

So are we all still going back to
your apartment for the debriefing?

Wait, you're going back
to his apartment, too?

All of you?

Please say you're planning
some really weird orgy.

Maybe he thought it was funny.

Yeah, I'm sure he
thought it was hysterical.

- I blame you.
- Me? What did I do?

You're the one who put it in my head

that everyone in politics is a slimeball.

- I didn't tell you to call him one.
- Yes, you did.

Uh, thought you guys
might like a healthy snack,

so I threw together a crudite,

- beef sticks and Cheesaritos for Cappie.
- Thanks, Daley.

Great, he's back.

I really thought I had that job.

- Clearly, I don't belong there.
- You know what?

- Yes, you do.
- Well, what am I supposed to do now?

I'll tell you what you're gonna do.

You're gonna go talk to that guy
and you're gonna get that job back.

I can't, I am too humiliated.

You're Casey Cartwright.
You can do anything you want.

That's how I know you're gonna go to
Washington, and you're gonna be amazing.

OK, even if I could, what about us?

- What about...
- Graduation?

Oh, my God, he said it.

You'll never leave here.
You love it too much.

That's true, I do love it here.

But I don't think I could be anywhere

that didn't have you.

- Aww!
- We'll be fine.

So go get that job.

I'd kiss you for luck, but
I've got beef stick breath.

You wanted to see me?

That was quite a little stunt you pulled.

When the dean heard about it, he
wanted to have us both expelled...

from the country!

Fortunately, I reminded
him that I have tenure,

and that you're the
Gary Wyatt Grant winner,

so we're both safe. For now.

Thanks.

I realize that my first
impression was right about you.

- What was that?
- That you lack drive, ambition.

It isn't just about the science, you know.

You're never gonna get anywhere
with that "aww, shucks" attitude.

Trust me, nobody's gonna toot your
horn if you can't do it yourself.

Maybe you're right. I just
couldn't pretend I deserve it.

I hope I'll get another
chance when the time is right.

But if I don't, I'm not
gonna let it rule my life.

Try reversing the
polarity on the capacitors.

Excuse me?

- Casey?
- I just want you to know how sorry I am

about the misunderstanding
last night, really sorry.

If there's any way you could
forget that it happened,

that'd be great. And I hope
you'll still consider me

for a legislative aide job in Washington,

because I know that I
would be great at it.

But I am sorry. I already
said that, but I am sorry.

First off... there's no need to
apologize. I should have been clearer.

And I think there may have
been another misunderstanding.

You were never gonna be considered
for a legislative aide job.

- Oh.
- You're an incredibly smart and resourceful person,

and someday you're gonna
do great in Washington.

But we mostly hire people with
postgraduate degrees for those jobs.

With a bachelor's degree you
could maybe cover the phones

- or answer constituent correspondence...
- But I want to do more.

Then you're gonna need more
experience or more education,

maybe in local government.

Have you thought about graduate
school? What about law school?

I thought about law school, but it
was kind of for a boyfriend, though.

Well, maybe you should really
consider it for yourself.

I will. Um, thanks.

I still know some people
in law school here.

Deadlines are coming up, so if you
decide to apply and want some help...

- And that is not a come
-on, by the way.

Thanks. I'd welcome that.
The help, not the come-on.

OK.

So, you really botched
it with the dean, huh?

You heard about that?

Nerd Twitter's all atwitter about it.

So I guess now the pressure's
off, you don't need me anymore?

Actually, I'd really like you
to stay. I mean, if you want.

I read your notes. I think you
were right about the dead end.

And if I'm going to have
to work up a new formula,

I could really use your help.

Maybe you're not as big of
a jerk as I thought you were.

- Thanks.
- I said "maybe."

Um, OK, so where do we start?

Professor Hastings thinks we
should try reversing the polarity

- on the capacitors.
- He's probably right.

Oh, hand me that cooling fan.

Oh, it's over? I can't believe
I missed the whole turtle race.

Relax, Spitter, I believe
there's still a straggler or two.

Oh, hey, how did your, um, interview go?

- When is the magazine coming out?
- That's not gonna happen.

Not yet. I decided that
when it does happen,

I want it to be the right way.

Well, I've made a decision,
too. I'm gonna go to law school.

That's great, Case.

And I've made a pretty
big decision myself.

Check this out.

This is a form for declaring a major.

Oh, my God, you declared a major?

That's amazing.

- Wait, this is blank.
- Well, baby steps, Russ.

You know what they say
about slow and steady.

And it's down to the wire! No
telling how this one will end.

And... Earnhardt takes
the checkered flag! Whoo!

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