Original subtitles

Previously on Greek

Rusty Cartwright. I'm a freshman.

I'm Casey Cartwright.

Tomorrow night, we are gonna host

over a thousand girls for rush.

Daughter of our fair state Senator.

She's coming here this fall, and she's rushing.

Land Rebecca Logan

and you can be the heir to my throne.

- I'm Dale. You gotta be pretty smart - Dale, nice to meet you.

- to get the engineering program. - How'd you knowt?

This is the honors engineering floor.

I want to rush a fraternity.

You're not fraternity material.

No one knows you here. You can be anyone you want.

I want to be a Kappa Tau.

Let's go, pledge.

You're Casey's little brother.

- How'd you know? - I'm her boyfriend. I'm Evan.

You know this doesn't mean I'm gay or anything.

We're not gay. We were just drunk.

- The reason I broke up with you... - I dumped you.

Hey, Crappie.

The name's Cappie.

I saw Evan...

- I don't know... - with another girl.

They were gonna have sex.

Casey, i'll make it up to you.

Sweetie, we're even.

Think about it.

Was there ever a time when radio stations

actually played music?

Almost makes me want to listen to NPR.

I said I want to listen with NPR.

Seriously, what is wrong with you?

Evan stuff?

Things are great with Evan. Why wouldn't they be?

I just assumed it would take a girl more than a couple of days

to get over the fact her boyfriend hooked up

with one of her pledges as her younger brother watched.

Look, what happened between

Evan and Rebecca Logan on rush night sucked

a lot.

But it's behind us.

So we're totally fine.

Especially with what we've gotta do tonight?

- Business as usual. - This is WGOD.

You're listening to inspirational recordings...

Son of a...

Only on Cyprus... the gospel."

Heavenly music for life

and... after.

You want to hear an interesting tidbit of info?

Absolutely. Anything.

All right.

This school in Florida had to shut down one of their fraternities

for hazing after one of pledges was forced to...

break several laws against both God and nature

during cinco de mayo last year.

Those fraternities sure sound like fun.

This isn't hazing. This is just laundry.

That's probably how it started with that poor cinco de mayo boy.

You can't let a few bad apples

ruin the bunch. If that were the case,

no one would ever join the catholic church.

That's exactly why I'm baptist.

Hazing is just

this small part.

It's running errands,

helping out around the house,

an occasional prank or two

maybe.

I feel like...

I don't know. I'm earning my keep.

Like I belong.

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Speaking of,

physics, 9 a.m.

I hope I can sleep tonight.

Just so you know, I'd never force you to do anything

you didn't want to to prove yourself to me.

Thanks, Dale.

- For tonight, could we not... - It helps me sleep.

This next dedication

goes out to Cyprus-Rhodes,

where Dale wants his roommate Rusty to know

he's praying for him

and his blasphemous ways.

Deploy, Spitter, deploy, deploy!

Pledge week!

Extraction complete.

Move out, men.

The laundry.

Hello?

Pledge, you have five minutes

to get your ass to the house or suffer the consequences.

Let's go.

Rebecca Logan.

What's up?

We're kidnapping you

for pledge orientation and midnight snacks

back at the house.

You guys scared me.

No reason to be scared.

Sorry.

Transcript: swsub.com

1x02 Hazed and Confused

Synchro: Babamania et Kasius

Sorry, guys.

I was at the student center across campus.

No problem, pledge Owens.

I will have to ask you to drop and give me 20, though.

Are you serious?

All of you!

The success of one brother

is success for everyone.

And the failure of one

affects us all.

I am your pledge master,

brother Chambers.

And it is my duty to instill in you

the ideals we honor here.

Self-improvement.

Leadership.

And dedication.

And part of dedication

is punctuality!

The hardcover you'll feel dropping on your spine

is the Omega Kal pledge book.

You will be tested on it.

Now initiation is not intended to humiliate.

It's purpose is to take you

from the boys you are now

and challenge you to become real men.

You all have one hour...

To melt these blocks of ice.

Yeah, there is a catch.

Do it naked.

Let's go!

Come on. You heard him.

Remove your blindfolds!

Greetings!

Four score

and seven years ago,

our forefathers

who... Art in heaven,

hallow it be their name,

brought into this continent

Kappa Tau Gamma.

Though we walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,

we fear nothing.

And neither will you.

As tonight...

You all become men!

Not in the way you might be thinking.

We do not have hookers, which isn't to say we didn't try.

Regardless...

You all have been brought here before us

to participate in a ceremonial rite of passage.

It derives from a secret

spartan ritual known as

Cryptea.

Where a boy is sent out into the wild...

To live off the land, fight for his life while protecting his village.

If he wasn't devoured by those...

Gnarly looking wolfy things.

Then he returned to the village...

A man.

Isn't that the beginning of 300?

We did it first!

You must stay out here all night. You cannot sleep.

Also, the spartan boys had to wear their battle clothes for 24 hours.

They were out there for months.

Silence!

You guys gotta do some light gardening,

'cause the weeds are getting kind of bad.

And to be one with the earth,

which was something else they did back.

We'll see you in the morning when you're men.

Be well.

- Hey, I'm Rusty. - Rusty, right?

Yeah, Ben Bennett.

Cool name.

So what's your major?

Undeclared, I guess. Yours?

Polymer science.

Bummer.

Okay, so tomorrow is our annual pledge scavenger hunt.

Meet me in the quad. Then thursday is our big sis, little sis revealing,

where you'll learn who will be your big sister.

Let's eat.

These girls are so awesome.

I love every one of them.

My Gosh, you guys! This is like the best night ever.

My mom was a ZBZ, and she's so proud of me.

You get some food.

We're so happy you're here!

Except that one.

Legacies.

- Didn't understand a word she said. - Like it matters.

I'm still a proud prez. You handled the whole situation so well.

Look around. Someday this could all be yours.

Oh, here's our crown jewel now.

I am so excited to be here. I feel like you all can take such good care of me.

Casey, why don't you go show Rebecca her new room?

Fine.

So here it is.

You know, I wanted to talk to you about something.

It's much smaller than imagined.

It's the only room we have left.

You know, we normally can't allow freshmen to live in the house.

I know that I'm a campus celebrity, which is so weird just because

my dad's a senator and rich and famous and whatever, but

please... No special treatment.

- Except for your own room in the house. - And maybe my own tivo?

Check out that room, it's huge!

Yeah, this is my room.

And speaking of things that are mine...

I found you sort of had sex with Evan Chambers.

I did, rush night, and it was amazing.

Okay, please stop talking.

Here's the thing.

Evan Chambers is my boyfriend.

How awkward for you.

Are you guys breaking up?

Anyway...

I just wanted to say that

at Zeta Beta for a sister to hook up with another sister's boyfriend,

it's considered bad form.

Well, I had no idea he was your boyfriend at the time.

Of course.

And I'm just offering some advice

in the spirit of sisterhood.

Maybe you want to take some time to get to know a guy

before you hook up with him.

Like, see if he's in a relationship.

Interesting. That's some pretty great advice.

You must be pretty perfect to dole out that kind of advice.

I'm not saying I'm perfect...

Well, we agree on something.

Because I know I'm not perfect.

- Let me rephrase... - No, I get it.

I hooked up with your boyfriend.

And I'm sorry for you about that.

But I'm not gonna apologize to you for doing it.

Can I offer you some sisterly advice?

Maybe you should spend a little less time on your sisters,

and a little more time on your boyfriend.

- Thanks for the advice. - No, thank you.

I've learned a lot.

And I was totally chill. I was like,

"you might wanna be a little more careful."

and she was like "back off."

"And by the way, I'm totally happy

dressing like Donna Karan's skanky little sister."

I know, right? Verbatim almost. And now I have to live with her.

And be nice to her.

And she's evil.

Well, you know, she's not active yet.

We could bounce her out.

Are you kidding? Frannie'd never let that happen.

Yeah, but people leave, they quit... If they're pushed too hard.

I like that.

And sometimes accidents do happen.

- I'm not gonna kill her, Ash. - No, not kill.

Injure.

No, no, this is good.

It's easy.

We'll run her ragged and make her quit.

Rebecca Logan must go.

Thought you might need those.

- Hey, good job on the weeds. - Crap.

- Awesome back here. - I was the only pledge who fell asleep?

Looks like you got off easy. Usually on the first person

who falls asleep, the pledges tend to...

What happens usually?

That person gets the most sleep. You've got some mud.

- They dye your feet? - Good one, guys.

Because they care, buddy. Because they care.

When I mentioned my major, this one guy looked at me like I was terminal.

They don't know you. Just give 'em some time.

Yeah, just the first week.

In a month, this'll all be behind me.

Yeah, you betcha.

Atta boy.

You know, we haven't spent any time together lately.

- We're okay, right? - Of course.

We've both been busy.

Yeah, well, you do what you gotta do.

If you want, you can come tonight

- and hang with me at Dobbler's. - Done.

- Wait, is that your brother?

- Rusty, are you sleepwalking? - Oh, my God.

Hey, Case. Evan.

People can see you. People can see you standing near me.

That is typical Kappa Tau crap, man.

What, this? No, this was an accident. I fell down some stairs.

And cut two holes in the butt of your jammies.

I was holding scissors.

Hang in there. First week is always the worst,

because that's when classes are the easiest.

Class.

- What time is it? - It's almost 9:00.

What? Oh, my gosh! I'm screwed. I gotta go. I'm screwed!

His feet were blue.

Has class started yet? Why are there so many people?

No, you can't sit there.

- Why? This is the only seat left! - It's saved.

For who?

For that guy. Hey, I saved your seat.

If everyone could take their... You! This is a university classroom,

- Not a homeless shelter. - I'm sorry. I'm not homeless. I'm in a fraternity.

I like you better homeless. Sit.

The brain surgeons at the registrar's office overbooked this class.

We have 100 seats and 124 students. But that's not a problem for me.

It's a problem for you.

90 problems for you.

Your first problem set,

which I want completed and in my hands no later than 9 a.m. thursday.

Work in groups, work alone, I don't care. Based on results,

100 of you will stay. 24 of you will find something else to do.

Maybe kill some more brain cells at the frat house.

You have 20 things on or around campus that you have to find

and take pictures of with your handy dandy ZBZ cams.

Might be something like a picture of the football stadium.

Or a picture of you making out with a football player.

Football player? I love football players!

I want to date football player one day.

Okay, you have until 7:00 p.m.

to complete your lists and haul ass back to Dobbler's.

If you do not make it by then, you will not remain

in the running toward becoming america's next top Zeta Beta.

Questions?

No. Okay, go!

Wait, I think I have a joke list or something.

What?

"Panther. Middle-aged hooker. Male faculty member shirtless."

Let me take a look at that.

Two puppies wearing hats. The lists were passed out randomly.

And no special treatment, right? You're just one of the girls now.

They're all doing their own lists. It might get weird if we gave you

your own room and then gave you an easier list

because you can't do the one you have...

I can do it.

Of course you can. You're Rebecca freakin' Logan.

You can totally do this. Kick ass!

I thought she was gonna quit right then.

She'll never finish the list.

I thought the first week was supposed to be easy.

Why can't he just find a bigger room? Why do we have to do this?

Because he's teacher and we do as we're told.

But this is ridiculous. He's testing us on concepts and theories

he hasn't even taught us yet.

I mean, "microscopic and macroscopic aspects of deformation and fracture."

No, I've heard of that before.

"Spinodal decomposition and martensitic reactions?"

That was something to do...

with the morphological changes in...

- Something. - Hey! Why don't we work together?

'Cause I don't need to.

"Molecular foundations

"of polymer viscoelasticity pertaining to the Rouse-Bueche theory

and the Boltzmann superposition principle"?

- We should get started tonight. - Great.

No, I can't. I can't tonight. I have to be at the house every night this week.

- Happy failing. - We can just split it up.

I can get my half done in my spare time.

Amen.

I'm gonna try to have faith in you, Rusty.

Good luck, man.

I'm not homeless!

Hey, you know, not that I'm not enjoying your company,

Ashleigh, but when are you done?

'Cause I was thinking we could grab dinner

and we'd go back to my house.

We still have one girl left.

Okay. Who?

Rebecca Logan.

I think I need another lemon drop.

- Case, I didn't see you down there. - Heading out?

Another night of debauchery with the pledges.

Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.

I don't know exactly what you guys do over there.

- You never heard about the goats? - Just go easy on Rusty, okay?

He's new to all this, I wanna make sure he's not going

to be scarred for life.

Did you really come down here to talk to me about Rusty?

Whom until last week didn't exist?

My relationship with Rusty has changed since last week.

Seems like a lot of relationships changed last week.

Here you go.

- You don't have to buy me a drink. - It's okay, I didn't.

I put it on your tab.

What's taking so long over here?

I was just not buying your girlfriend a drink.

Don't you have your own girlfriend to not buy drinks for?

It's just not as fun, I guess.

This is ridiculous.

Can we be mature and just say what we're all thinking?

How the hell could they cancel Gilmore Girls?

Unclench, Evs. Casey and I were just talking about the pledges.

We saw the work you guys did on Rusty.

Let me ask you. What exactly is the point of that form of hazing?

- Our own amusement. - Well, you're doing them a lot of good.

We don't have to train our pledges. They already rock.

Are you implying that your pledges are better than our pledges?

You're right. I'm sorry. Let me clarify.

Our pledges could kick your pledges' asses any day.

- Is that a challenge? - Guys, come on.

What kind of competion are we talking about here?

Who's got the most J. Crew V-Necks?

Wait, you might have us there.

- We could kick your ass at anything. - Really?

Yeah, we could.

Excuse us.

- Rebecca's not coming. - She quit?

She got busted by campus security

for sneaking into the men's faculty locker room.

Are we in trouble?

Okay, guys, tonight's new rite of passage

will begin shortly. We're just waiting on the sensel, who's...

Stop everything!

Nice kimonos.

Big news.

Our pledges have been challenged by the nimrods over at Omega Chi

- We're gonna destroy 'em! - What's the game?

Something fair.

Something classic. And old... family favorite.

Beer pong.

Here tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night? What if we have school work to do?

Spitter, that's impossible. Did you not hear a word of what I just said?

It's against the Omega Kais!

Besides, it's the first week of school. It's always easy.

You could probably just sit this one out, Spitter.

I mean, maybe this isn't your kind of thing.

Do what you gotta do, Russ.

Case, Frannie is calling an emergency meeting about Rebecca.

Now?

You think she knows anything about the list Rebecca had?

- I guess we're about to find out. - I'll meet you in there.

Case, can I talk to you?

- Now is like the absolute worst time. - Please, just two minutes.

Okay, go, hurry.

- I've got this scheduling issue. - Seriously?

- Buy a calendar. Done. - But tonight the Kappa Taus

are hosting this beer pong event,

which I'm not really sure what that is.

Classy choice, Cappie.

I also have to finish this really hard problem set

in order to stay in this physics class.

Easy. Drop the class. And you're welcome.

I can't just drop the class, case, it's a prequisite.

Then skip beer pong, but know it's a lot of fun.

I can't skip. I'm just a pledge.

How do you juggle school and your sorority stuff?

I don't take honors engineering classes.

I really need to go.

That's all you got for me?

You knew joining a fraternity wasn't gonna be easy.

You're in this super hard, super brainiac program

that's gonna take up a lot of time.

But being in a fraternity takes time too.

So you have to make a choice.

Choices are good.

Choices make you pick a path

- and stay the course. - It's not fair. Why can't I do both?

Well, if you could, you wouldn't be here right now.

This is one reason among many why guys like you aren't in fraternities.

But the world isn't black and white, remember?

I can be gray.

I can be an amalgam.

Why does every conversation we have turn into a vocab test?

Forget it.

Be realistic, Russ.

Be my sister, Case.

Panhellenic has called five times

wanting to know how we're gonna handle the situation.

They're implying hazing. What am I supposed to tell them?

She's on drugs?

What was she doing in there?

If this were

any other girl on campus, no one would care.

It's just because she's Rebecca Logan.

Maybe it's a good thing this happened for us now.

What do you mean?

Well, what she brings to this sorority in notoriety pales in comparison

to all we're gonna have to do to manage our reputation.

She lives under a microscope.

Which means we're gonna live under a microscope too.

And she's covered in bacteria.

I mean,

if she messes up again, then our name's gonna be right alongside hers.

- It might be best... - Excuse me,

may I have a moment of your time?

This is a closed meeting, Rebecca.

- Officers only. - This will just take a second.

I made a huge mistake.

I went way overboard with the scavenger hunt.

I was just trying to make you proud, Frannie.

Make me proud?

You don't have to prove anything to me, or anyone here.

We all love you.

We still have to answer to Panhellenic and the university.

It's taken care of.

Taken care of?

My father became involved.

He spoke with the provost and a rep at Panhellenic

and suggested that it would be in everyone's best interest

if this all just went away, so it has.

I won't allow my poor judgment to affect my sisters.

You are amazing.

And for all the trouble I've caused you all,

my father has offered us his private jet for us to use

- any time we want it. - Oh, my god, my god!

We got a jet!

- Is it a G5? - Yes, actually it is. How did you know?

Hey, study buddy.

You done yet?

- Just about. - Where you headed?

I'm really kind of

unfocused in here,

you know. So I'm gonna go to the library to work on the problem set

for physics.

When are you gonna be done? Cause I'm already done. I finished it about

1:30 this afternoon.

I mean, it was tough, but I got through it.

And I was able to teach myself a lot of stuff that's...

That's pretty advanced.

I'll definitely have my half.

Hey, I can come with you and help.

- I'm really smart. - I know you are, Dale. But...

I want to do my part, you know?

- I'll see you. - Hey, Rusty?

- Yeah? - Aren't you forgetting something?

- Rusty? - Yeah?

You forgot your backpack.

Right.

Gentlemen...

And Omega Kais...

Welcome to the first annual Kappa Tau/Omega Kai pledge tourney.

All right, we got nine pledges on each side.

House with the highest number of wins... Wins.

Any questions?

How do you play?

You know, we could drop one of our guys

to make it an even game.

It's actually a great question, Spitter.

Beer pong rules and regulations differ all over the world.

Adhering to the north american beer pong association regulations,

two players square off on their respective sides,

each taking a turn hitting a ping pong ball

across a table with the aim of making their ball land

in one of several cups of beer. Now if he... Or she...

Is successful, then that opponent must drink that cup of beer.

The player who drinks all the cups loses.

Now I personally subscribe to the notion though that

everyone wins in this game. So let's do it. Let the games begin!

I guess this is gonna be the drawback of being in different houses.

It's too bad you didn't come to Omega Kai, but I get it.

The whole Evan thing.

There's no reason we still can't be friends.

I mean, just because our houses are in competition doesn't mean...

Doesn't mean we have to be, right?

So what number... I'm nine.

So... Good news.

Everything has been smoothed over

- completely. - Great.

There's one thing though.

Rebecca wants your room.

How did you break the bad news?

Explain something to me.

Why Rebecca Logan given so many hand things

to find on the scavenger hunt?

- She wasn't. - "Shirtless faculty member"?

"Middle-aged panther"?

- Win is... - And the point is...

you're still freaked out about the Evan thing,

and you lost control.

You told me you could handle it, and you didn't.

Rebecca's getting the room.

Hey, Calvin. What's your number?

Home or cell?

No, I mean your position.

- What number did you draw? - Nine.

So do you wanna grab some beers after this or something?

Beers?

Sure!

All right, next up!

- Number nine. - And game point!

Spitter... You're up.

May the best man win?

- Best man win. - All right.

Don't choke.

How you feeling? You good?

I want you to relax, all right?

There are these moments in life

when you are confronted with something that you think

is monumental,

but 10, 20 years down the road you'll look back and you'll laugh.

This is not one of those moments.

This is the most important thing that could ever happen to you

or any of us in this entire world.

Good luck. Don't lose.

All right, score's tied.

The winner of this game will determine which pledges rock

and which pledges suck.

It's just kind of like ping pong.

I was champion five years in a row in the Eagle Scouts.

You were in the Eagle Scouts.

- Good game, Cal. - The best won man, Cal.

You guys should've picked naked ice melting.

Is that supposed to be a secret Omega Kai thing?

Hope you're ready to do some pushups, pledge.

You bet...

You kicked ass, man.

It was...

Hell, yeah!

Spitter! Spitter! Spitter!

2:00 a.m.! I gotta go! Put me down.

I'm up! You didn't finish?

It's due in ten minutes. You're nowhere near finished.

I'll turn in what we have.

No, what we have can't compete with what the other kids have,

because they take this seriously.

I prayed to God.

Why would he forsake me?

Okay, this class is a prerequisite that's only offered in the fall.

Which means if we don't take it now we can't take it until next year.

Which means we can't start our core classes for two years.

Which means I can't finish undergrad till 2012.

Which means I can't finish grad school until 2015...

- Dale, I'm sorry. - No, no, you've ruined my future.

And my kids' future and my grandkids' future.

You've disrupted the space-time continuum.

And you gotta fix it. You gotta build a time machine right now.

- We gotta build a time machine... - Dale, stop.

Stop!

I'll fix this.

I promise.

Your grandkids will be fine.

I'll fix this.

This beyond sucks.

Is this yours or mine?

Does it matter? With the space in that crappy room

all our stuff is gonna be thrown together anyway.

could you give me better ETA on when you're gonna be completely out of here?

I scheduled some movers to be here at 4:00,

but guess that's not gonna happen.

But don't worry. I want you all to take your time and let me know

when this afternoon you're gonna have your stuff out of here.

Thanks.

That's it. Screw this.

We gotta talk.

I've tried to be cool about this.

I've tried not to get upset.

But this is me upset.

I'm officially very upset.

I know Rebecca's great for us.

Our alums love the idea of her. She gives us a jet.

But I can't take it anymore.

She slept with my boyfriend.

I took him back. Now she's stealing my room.

And all I've been is nice to her.

I know, except for the whole shirtless faculty member thing, which

we've already discussed was a mistake and we're past.

I've given you two years of dedication,

and she's given me two weeks of hell.

So you have to choose.

Her or me.

Is this what friends do, Casey?

Give each other ultimatums?

I'm sorry, Frannie, but I don't know what else to do.

Let me consider this.

On the one hand, we have you...

Who put this entire sorority in danger by hazing Rebecca.

I'd not think she'd finish the list.

We could've been on probation, or worse,

made an example of and suspended.

You put yourself and your petty squabble with Rebecca before the sorority.

Well, when you say it like that it sounds really bad.

And on other hand,

I have a senator's daughter and a jet.

- Frannie... - Look...

The best thing I can do for you right now is...

forget this conversation ever happened.

Because trust me.

You don't want me choose.

Can I talk to you?

Sure, what is it, buddy?

Can you do me a favor and crouch down on all fours?

I have to quit the fraternity.

- I'm almost done. - No, I mean, I really have to quit.

I can't manage Kappa Tau and engineering.

I was supposed to turn in this physics problem set,

but I didn't because of last night.

Now I missed the deadline this morning.

I messed up my roommate because we were working on it together.

He's mad at me, and he won't even talk to me now...

School comes first.

So I can have the successful, professional future.

No, so you won't get kicked out and you can stay here forever.

You know you could've skipped beer pong last night, right?

But I wanted to make my pledge brothers like me.

You belong there.

But it's too late.

It's never too late.

You didn't ask any of us for help.

Now go finish that test.

You're not the first Kappa Tau who's missed a deadline.

Don't tell me that's out of order.

Yep, sorry.

Gotta take the stairs.

I have to get to the parking lot.

No can do.

Better go out that door and around.

Let's get this right, guys.

This is love tap 23.

Love tap 23. Break!

18, 24!

18, 24!

Hike!

You damn frat boys, you almost killed me!

What are your names?

What fraternity are you with?

- But, sir, we were just... - Names!

We're the Omega Kais.

My name is Evan Chambers.

And you're kind of being a pansy about all of this.

Don't look back.

I can't believe this is it.

I'm gonna miss this room so much.

Remember when we first moved in?

Three weeks ago? We were just down the hall last semester.

It's sad.

Is that...

Oh, my god!

- That's disgusting. - What is it?

- Who sent it? - I bet it's from Rebecca.

Skank monster pulled a paris.

She looks a little busy to be filming it herself.

She didn't so this.

Someone else is holding the camera, and peeking in on quite a show.

- Evan looks really... - Ash!

Sorry, I'll delete it.

No, wait.

Could I ask you for a favor?

I have a lot of stuff Frannie wanted me to finish in here.

Well, when you're done in here,

you can get your stuff out of my room.

You mean my room.

I just got an interesting text message.

Weight Watchers going mobile?

- Where did you get that? - What's more important is

where it's going. I personally think it'll look great on the internet.

- You're blackmailing me? - No, I'm...

I guess I am. This is my first time.

This obviously wasn't your first time.

I took this psych class my freshman year,

and I'm willing to bet

you didn't get attention

from your dad growing up.

Want to get his attention now?

Isn't he like a hardcore, conservative,

family values man?

How's it going in here?

I gotta say, I think Rebecca and I just had a major breakthrough.

Wouldn't you say?

We're great.

Tell frannie about the room.

I've decided, in the spirit of sisterhood...

that I'm going to take the smaller room.

And I haven't told either of you the best part.

You haven't?

I've decided that I'm going to be Rebecca's big sis.

Thank God!

I knew you two would work it out.

You really want to start this?

It's already started.

Get your crap out of my room,

little sis.

This is pointless.

Trust me, it's all taken care of.

Am I gonna go to jail?

I'm not going to grade these.

Welcome back.

Looks like everyone has a seat,

so the problem set served its purpose.

30 of you dropped the class as soon as the tests were distributed.

Is it abusive?

Probably.

This isn't high school.

I'm not here to coddle you or inspire you.

I'm here to prepare you for some harsh realities.

No one's going to help you through life.

So you hazed us.

Let's start with the basics.

The kinetic theory of gases.

It's open.

Come on in.

I can't believe you're in my dorm room.

And I can't believe you have a confederate flag hanging on your wall.

Where are you reading all spiffied up?

Big brother ceremony tonight at the house.

How did your problem set go?

All worked out. I'm gonna do both.

I'm sorry, Russ.

I have some juggling issues of my own.

This world's new for you too.

Which one?

Us.

I know.

And I've already started.

I can be...

a ZBZ sister,

as well as your sister.

I can be an...

amalgam.

Like you even know what that is.

Any blending or mixture of mercury with another metal or with alloy.

Like polymer science is that hard.

All right?

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