All language subtitles for Gravity Falls s02e19 Weirdmageddon 2.eng

End times
are here, folks.

Only way to salvation
is to embrace

the triangular ways
of our overlord.

Any object with more than
three sides is sinful.

That's it. That's probably
what Bill wants.

( Screaming )

I reckon I've been
living a lie.

Ladies, gentlemen,

that creature with, like,
87 different faces.

Eighty-eight
different faces.

Oh, sorry.
Touchy subject.

Anyways, it's been fun
turning Gravity Falls

inside out, rounding up
all its terrified citizens

and then stacking them
into this massive

throne of frozen
human agony.

( Voice echoes )

Don't worry, they're not
conscious anymore.

Probably.

My omelets... they have
friendly faces.

Whoops.
Back you go there.

But Gravity Falls
is just the beginning.

It's time to take
our chaos worldwide!

All right, boys,
to the corners of the earth.

Set the world aflame
with your weirdness.

This dimension is ours!

Ah, global domination.

I could get used to...

What?!

Hm, this might be
more complicated than I thought.

I think
I broke something.

Walk it off!

Mabel. Mabel!

Okay, guys, Bill has
taken over the town,

and if
this weirdness spreads,

he's gonna take over
the whole world.

Our first step to
stopping him is rescuing Mabel,

but he's got her trapped in
this strange prison bubble.

What is this place
anyway?

Guys, if I die,
I wanna die hugging.

Soos, you're choking me.

Let my body
be your shield.

(all yelling)

Is the entire ground
a bouncy castle?

Do you hear
'80s music?

And does the air smell
like childlike wonder?

ALL: Whoa!

DIPPER:
This is Mabel's prison?

Yes. Definitely.
Absolutely.

( Bell tolls )

MAN:
It's fun o'clock, everyone.

Today's weather calls for
rainbows

with a chance of
dance parties.

If you're the owner of
a unicorn with a top hat,

please come to
the ice cream beach.

Your unicorn
is being towed.

What is this new world?

Shining, shimmering,
splendid.

Welcome to Mabeland.

And this is worse than
the apocalypse.

Dude, this place
hurts my eyes.

Oh, that's normal.

Mabeland's rainbows
have colors

only bees and art students
can see.

Now who wants to go
on the grand tour?

- Do we have a choice?
- BOTH: No!

Mabeland is the ultimate
paradise,

and the only rule--
there are no rules!

Except for one rule,
which is very serious.

But no one would
ever break it,

so it's not
worth mentioning.

BOTH: Yeah!

Listen, creepy dream guys,
we're not here to party, okay?

We just need to find Mabel
and get her out of here.

Where is she?

Our home girl Mabel
lives at our next stop.

That rules!

Now come have
rad snacks

served by
awesome penguins.

Oh, score.
I'm so hungry.

Yeah. I haven't eaten
anything

except for part of my hat
for the last three days.

Can you guys
just hold on a second?

Do you see
what's happening here?

Don't forget, this world
was created by Bill.

That punch
is probably blood.

And that glitter rain is probably
ground-up bones or babies or something.

Bill's using Mabel's
own fantasies

as some sick trap.

We need to grab Mabel
and get the heck outta here.

Oh, Mabel? She's at
the top of the tallest tower,

guarded by those
big, buff waffle guards.

There's no way
to get past them.

Someone hand me
some syrup.

( Screaming )

It's happening.
The moment we trained for.

Don't worry, man.
I gotcha.

( Screams )

It's now or never, guys.

This is a rescue.

Everyone hit the deck.

SOOS:
Hang in there, Mabel!

There she is.

Soos, grab her.

Wendy, barricade
the door.

UP Yo" 90,
little lady.

Soos? Wendy?
Dipper?

The waffles
are coming back.

- We gotta hurry!
- Uh, guys.

Don't worry, Mabel.
We'll get you out of this.

But Dipper...

Mabel, what are
you doing?

We're trying to save you
from this prison.

This isn't a prison.

I made this world.

Well, I sorta woke up here.

- It's complicated.
- What are you saying?

I'm saying this is
my home now,

and I don't wanna
be saved.

- Sorry, Mabel.
- No worries, bubble bear.

- You did what?!
- Look, after you said

you wouldn't come back home with
me at the end of the summer

for your "apprenticeship,"

I wanted to hide
in my sweater forever.

But then I woke up
in a place that gives me

exactly what I wanted--

an endless summer where
we'll never have to grow up.

Here, the sun shines all day,
the party never ends,

and now that you guys are here,
it's finally perfect.

Listen, Mabel,
we're not here to party.

All of this is crazy.

Ugh! I figured you might say
something like that, Dipper.

That's why I've prepared
a backup Dipper

with a more supportive
attitude.

Whoa!

Uh, yeah!

Wiggity-wiggity
what's up, dude bros?

I'm Dippy Fresh.

I like skateboarding,
supporting my sister,

and punctuating every
third sentence with a high five.

Oh, don't mind if I...

Ahem!

I'm sorry. I can't
leave him hanging.

- Yes.
- You're dead to me, Soos.

Trust me. You guys
are gonna love it here.

This world always
knows what you want,

sometimes even
before you do.

Apparently I wanted
a chinchilla.

Right again, Mabeland.

Mabel, listen to yourself.
This is crazy.

I'm sorry about our fight,

and I'm sorry
things aren't great right now,

but that doesn't mean
you can just stay in here forever.

Hey, take a chill pill.
Those grow on trees here.

You stay out of this,
Dippy Fresh!

Dude, calm down.

Dippy Fresh didn't do
anything to you, dawg.

(growling )

I know it seems
too good to be true,

but just give
this place a chance.

Mabeland knows
just what you want,

and always provides.

Pudding center.
Nice.

Actually, Mabel,
I'm with Dipper on this.

Gravity Falls is in trouble,
and I really think--

( horn honking )

ALL: Wendy!

Guys? You're safe.

We've got a monster truck
full of fireworks, fake ID's,

and pranking supplies.

Wanna drive this truck
to the high school

and glue this plunger
to the principal's head?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Sorry, guys. I've always
wanted to do that.

I'll be back
in just a few minutes.

ALL: Whoo-hoo!

- Wendy?
- Don't worry, dude.

There's nothing in this world
that could break me

from our mission.

Soos mi hijo.
I have returned.

Holy... whoa, whoa.
Dad?

You don't remember
what I look like,

so I have the body
of a pro wrestler,

and a face you once saw
on a hot sauce bottle.

I was never there for you,
but in this world, I can be.

- You're perfect.
- It's a trap.

Don't go with him, Soos,
no matter what he offers you.

Want to play catch?

I'm sorry, dude.

Even if it is
all a dream,

I've gotta play
just one game.

Come on, Dad.

Okay, this has
gone too far.

You can't honestly think these
fantasies are good for anyone.

You can't argue with
the results.

People are happy here.

Does it really matter
if it's real or not?

For once, stop listening
to your head,

and listen to your heart.

Mabeland has something
for everyone, even you.

In fact...

Nope. Not looking.
Not looking.

(all groaning)

All right, can anybody
explain to me why,

even with our newfound
infinite power...

none of us can escape
the borders

of this stupid
hick town?!

There's some kind of
force field keeping us in.

But who would know
how to fix it?

Hmm. Maybe someone needs
to come out of retirement.

Bill. Sorry, boss,

but Gideon let
the Pines family escape.

They're inside Mabel's
bubble as we speak.

( Evil laughter)

Mabel's bubble is
the most diabolical trap

I've ever created.

It would take
a will of titanium

not to give into
its temptations.

Fetch me Gideon, and take
the rest of the day off.

Things just got
a little more interesting.

(all giggling)

Even my stone skips
are perfect.

Who am I kidding?

Maybe Mabel's right.

It's a horror show
out there.

At least the air here
is breathable.

Dude, you're talking
to a river.

Oh! hey! Wendy.
What's up?

I thought you were busy
wrecking the school or whatever.

Yeah, that got
old quick.

And this music is really starting
to get on my nerves.

I think that stuff you said about
this place is right.

Really? Well, now
we just need a plan.

Don't worry. You always
think of something.

(giggling )

You know, you're so much
smarter than, like, everyone else.

( Chuckles )
It's kinda funny.

If you were older,
you'd be, like, my dream guy.

Wait. Do you
really mean that?

Wait a minute.

In this place, you can be
any age you want.

If we were the same age,
maybe you and me could...

I don't know...
actually be together.

Wait. Really?

I bet if we asked Mabel,
she could do it right now.

In this place, it could finally
be just you and me.

Come on, man.
Just take my hand.

Wait. ( screams )
This isn't real!

( Shrieks )

You shouldn't have
done that, Dipper!

We're watching you.

TOYS: There are
eyes everywhere.

' Hi, Dipper.
' HEY, Dipper.

' HEY, Dipper.
' HEY, Dipper.

Oh, my gosh.

This is crazy.

I'm losing my mind.

We have to get
out of here.

We have to go back...
to the real world!

( Voice echoing )

Hey!

Under Article Smiley Face
of Exhibit Squeaky Duck,

you are hereby accused of
breaking our one rule--

mentioning reality.

(all exclaiming )

Prepare to be banished
from this land forever!

Mabel, you're
smarter than this.

Bill has you hypnotized
or something.

Are you really gonna
let them banish me?

No. Of course not.

That's my brother, guys.

There's gotta be
another way.

Very well.

If Dipper wishes to stay,
he must plead his case

in the ultimate trial
of Fantasy vs. Reality.

Hey. Seriously?

( Muffled chewing )
It was him.

Oh!

( Quacking )

Seriously, Mabel?

You're letting them
take our argument to court?

Hey, I didn't make
the rules of Mabeland.

Yes, you did. There's a tapestry
of you making the rules.

All rise for the Honorable Judge Kitty
Kitty Meow Meow Face Schwartzstein.

- Order, order.
- ( gavel squeaking )

This trial begins
right meow.

Oh! Ha ha!

Ahem. Judge?

Sorry, sorry.
( clears throat )

We are here to try
Dipper Pines

in the case of
Fantasy vs. Reality.

If Dipper wins,
Mabel will return with him

to the real world.

But if he loses,
he will be banished forever,

and replaced with
town darling Dippy Fresh.

Dippy, come on out.

Flip-a-dip-dip.

I hate him so much.

The final decision
will be made by

a jury of your peers.

Hi there.
I love your headband.

Shut your mouth.
I love your headband.

We're all wearing
the same headband.

ALL: Ha ha!
Headband!

Look, Mabel, this whole thing
is ridiculous.

But if winning a trial is what it takes
to get you to come home with us,

then so be it.

I'm sorry, Dipper, but I can only
speak through my legal team now.

We have a doctorate degree
in hunkiness.

Also criminal
and international law.

Let's hear
opening statements.

Your Honor,
townsfolk,

lovely ladies
of the jury.

Oh, he's talking
about us.

That's lovely.

My case is simple.

This very unrighteous dude thinks
that reality is better than fantasy.

But reality is bogus,
lame, and whack.

Objection, Your Honor.
That's conjecture.

Meow-verruled!

I'd like to show you
this "reality"

that Dipper loves so much.

Show you how it has
wronged my client, and Dipper,

their entire lives.

Exhibit "A."

Mabel's scrapbook.

Second grade,
October 10.

Photo day.

( Sniffling )
Darn allergies.

Boom! A million
slap bracelets.

I'm gonna have
the best photo ever.

And how do you like
my new pigtails?

Have fun, brat.

( Gasps )
You ruined my hair!

Dipper, what do I do?

Um, I... well...
I don't...

- ( sobbing )
- Mabel!

Mabel's fantasy was
having a great school photo,

but reality
had other plans.

Look, that was
one bad day.

One of many. February 14,
fourth grade.

- Valentine's Day.
- Oh, come on, man. You can't...

How many Valentines
did you get, Dipper?

Oh, hey,
Dipper didn't get any.

Oh, man, I thought
I was the class loser.

Hey, everyone,
Dipstick didn't get any.

( laughter )

I can't believe
that kid's your brother.

Hey, what's the point
of all this?

That was in the past.

Is your life
any better now, bro?

Heartbreak, disaster,
broken promises.

That's reality for you.

Out there,
it's nothing but heartbreak.

But in here,
who wants pug sundaes?

Hand me a microphone,
Xyler.

Totally
righteous, bro.

- Are we brothers?
- I don't know.

I think we're ready
for a verdict.

Wait! I haven't even
presented my case.

Do you even
have a case?

Yes, I do,
Your Honor.

I call as a witness
Mabel Pines.

( All gasping )

Uh, objection?

I'll allow it.

Us cats are famously
curious, meow meow.

( Spectators murmuring )

Mabel, listen.

I might not have
all the answers.

I'm not stylish,
and I'm not cool,

and I can't make
pugs appear out of thin air.

- Boo!
- Guilty!

But I know one thing well,
and that's you,

and I know that even though
you might act like it,

you don't wanna be
in this fantasy world.

Uh... pssshh!
Yeah, right.

You're scared
of growing up.

And who could
blame you?

I'm scared, too.

Uh... la la la la la la la!
I'm not listening.

Guards, the fingers.

Look, real life
stinks sometimes, okay?

I'm not gonna lie.

There's a better way
to get through it than denial,

and that's with help from
people who care about you.

It's how we've gotten
through our whole lives.

Just look.

Mabel, I figured out a way
to fix your photo.

What? You have a wig?

No, but I have a razor.

( laughs )
You're crazy.

We've always been there
for each other.

Mabel, I thought you were
living a fantasy,

but look at me.

I actually thought I was
gonna stay here

and be Ford's apprentice.

Spend my entire teens
cooped up in a basement

with a lab coat.
How ridiculous is that?

I don't know what's
gonna happen in the future,

but whatever it is,
you don't have to fear,

because we'll
do it together.

I'm not taking
Ford's apprenticeship.

We've traveled
to heck and back to get you,

and we're going back
together.

Leave this fantasy world.

Let's beat Bill
and grow up together.

Order. Order in the court!

Dang it, why is this hammer
squeaking?!

You mean it?

You're really
coming home with me?

Yes. Definitely.

Absolutely.

Awkward sibling hug?

- ( Frightened exclamations )
- Don't do it!

You do this,
and it's all over.

Sincere sibling hug.

Don't do the pats!

Pat, pat.

Oh, man.

I never noticed
how bright this place is.

Ugh! Have I actually been
listening to the same song

- for an entire week?
- ( anguished yowl )

Whoa, time to calm you down.

Uh, why isn't
this working?

Because your reign over
this land is over!

We gotta get outta here.

Soos, Wendy,
Paradise is cancelled.

Everyone get on.

Take us to freedom,
Giant Waddles. Yeah!

All right, guys,
are you ready for this?

Sorry, Mabeland.

It's time to burst
your bubble.

Whoa.

You all good?
Everyone good?

- (all laughing )
- We've missed you, Mabel.

Hey, Dipper, I appreciate
what you said back there.

But if you wanna take
Ford's apprenticeship,

I won't get
in your way.

Pfft. Miss out on
your awkward teen years?

You wish.

Man, I went nuts
back there.

I mean, come on, the real
world can't be that bad, right?

Oh, boy.

Where is everyone?
The town's deserted.

Did Bill already win?

Come on, guys. Let's see if we can
go hide out in the shack.

Yes! It's in shambles
just like we left it.

Oh, man, this is the first time I've
ever felt happy going to work.

Hello, house.
Hello, porch.

Hello, wads of gum
I left stuck to the couch.

( Muffled noises )

Wait. What was that?

Sh!

Let's get 'em, dudes.

ALL: Yah!!

( Screaming )

- Stan?
- Kids?

( Toilet flushes )

Just so everyone knows,
we're out of toilet paper.

Did I miss something?

Whoa, we survived.

But where are we?

Are we real?

Is this reality?

Jean-Paul Sartre
postulated that

every existing thing
is born without reason,

prolongs itself
out of weakness,

and dies by chance.

Totally righteous,
bro.

I know!

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