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1
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:04,296
( Lightning crashing )
2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:11,595
( footsteps approaching )
3
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,597
Well, hello there,
traveler.
4
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,767
I see your car broke down
on this lonesome country road,
5
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,728
a place so remote that no one
can hear your screams!
6
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:20,896
( Footsteps retreating )
7
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,481
Pretend I didn't say that.
8
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,483
Come in, come in,
but be warned,
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,487
if you enter you may be
subjected to my tales.
10
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:32,032
Tales designed
to sell my merchandise!
11
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:35,118
( Evil laughter)
12
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,497
Sorry, I was thinking
13
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,123
of something funny
I heard earlier.
14
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,418
You've come to
the Mystery Shack after-hours,
15
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,420
a time when only
our creepiest
16
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,714
and most cursed objects
are for sale,
17
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,591
like that thing there!
18
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:31,883
( Thunder cracking )
19
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,010
No, not a fan?
20
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,761
Too many orifices?
21
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,055
All right, I can tell
what you're looking for
22
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,266
is this disembodied hand.
23
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,851
Why is it so expensive?
24
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,270
Well, that's quite a tale
25
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,773
and it's called Hands Off!
26
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,900
No, seriously, hands off,
that's not for sale.
27
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:49,985
All right.
28
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,820
Hands Off!
29
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,869
Swap meet!
Swap meet! Swap meet!
30
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,996
Look at all these
priceless treasures.
31
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,790
Bobbly-heads!
32
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,751
They agree with
everything I say.
33
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,336
Professor glasses!
34
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:08,962
They make me look
like a genius.
35
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,964
(groans)
36
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,133
Look at these
faux-gold beauties.
37
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:15,260
They're mob-boss quality.
38
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,306
All right, kids,
39
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:22,643
prepare to watch
the delicate art of the deal.
40
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:23,894
Hey, hag-face!
41
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,063
How much
for the junk watches?
42
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,065
They are not for sale.
43
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,068
Not for you,
Stan Pines!
44
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,778
The wind
whispers your name!
45
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:33,695
( Wind blowing )
46
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,322
( chimes tinkling )
47
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,532
Shh...
Shush, you guys.
48
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,159
All right, I get it,
you're creepy.
49
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,662
Anyway, less talky,
more watchy!
50
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,290
Get your hands
off my watch!
51
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,708
Ugh!
52
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,460
Yeesh!
Freak show.
53
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,505
Wow, someone needs to work
on their social skills.
54
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,798
And their observation skills.
55
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,257
Boom!
56
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,885
Good job, heisting hands.
Mwah, mwah.
57
00:02:57,094 --> 00:03:00,055
Grunkle Stan, are you seriously
shoplifting from a witch?
58
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,640
That sounded
like a curse.
59
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,475
"That sounded
like a curse!"
60
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,435
Hey, anyone want
to buy a wet blanket?
61
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,062
We got a wet blanket
for sale!
62
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,855
( laughter )
63
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:12,943
I can't survive
in this market.
64
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,529
( Alarm beeping )
65
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:16,822
Ha, curse.
66
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:17,864
Yeah, right.
67
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,574
Ah!
68
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:22,452
Wait, is this curse ugly
or normal ugly?
69
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:25,080
Looks like
I got off scot-free.
70
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,626
( Screaming )
71
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,128
All right, kiddos,
breakfast time.
72
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,421
Prepare your mouths for--
73
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,797
( Waddles oinking )
74
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,133
Whoa! Whoa-ah!
No hands!
75
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,844
Grunkle Stan,
what happened to your hands?
76
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,929
So I might have
got cursed a little,
77
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,597
but the watch
looks nice, right?
78
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:47,769
Foolish man, thieving hands
find wicked face!
79
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,772
You must return
what isn't yours...
80
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:51,815
That's better.
81
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,734
I told you,
Grunkle Stan,
82
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,736
you got to give that
watch back and apologize.
83
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:56,945
What?
84
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,989
That old crone
should apologize to me
85
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,450
for denying my right
to buy cheap junk.
86
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,994
I don't need hands,
I've got self respect.
87
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:11,418
Mabel, sweetie, will you
make your uncle some hands?
88
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,128
La-la-la.
89
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,464
Hands makeover!
90
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,674
Say hello
to your "new hands"!
91
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:18,675
In quotes.
92
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:19,801
Nice work, kid.
93
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,803
See, hands are overrated.
94
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,889
I'm ready
to take on the day!
95
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,308
Ma'am.
96
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:27,851
( Screams )
97
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,024
(groans)
98
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,861
Hey, Mr. Pines.
99
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:41,156
Should we play toss me
a dozen eggs like we always do?
100
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,492
No, Jimmy, wait!
Not today!
101
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,619
Not today!
102
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,623
Let's find that witch.
103
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,668
MABEL: According
to the swap meet pamphlet,
104
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,504
the hand witch lives
in a horrible hand witch lair
105
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:56,630
on Hand Witch Mountain.
106
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,590
STAN: Stop saying hand witch!
107
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,429
Grunkle Stan, did you
just tap my shoulder?
108
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,806
Kid, I can't
tap anything.
109
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,435
Guys, can you stop tapping
both my shoulders?
110
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,938
( Hands tapping )
111
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,484
( screaming )
112
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,863
Hands!
Lots of hands!
113
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:24,825
Ah!
114
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,290
Ah!
115
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,834
( Screaming )
116
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,837
( evil laughter)
117
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,422
Look at this touching scene.
118
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:40,966
Up top!
119
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,801
You guys,
YOU guys get me.
120
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,803
All right, you horrible wench,
you got me.
121
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,680
Stealing is wrong,
etcetera, take it.
122
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,682
Now can I have
my hands back?
123
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,309
I have a certain gesture
I'd like to share with you.
124
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:55,564
Alas, your hands cannot
be gotten so easily.
125
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,733
The spirits say, um...
126
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:03,363
that the curse can
only be broken by a kiss!
127
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,865
ALL: What?
128
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,783
It's all right, kids.
129
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,326
Just look away.
130
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,832
A kiss on the lips!
131
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,835
What? Forget it! I'm not
kissing any of that mess.
132
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,378
I don't need
my hands that bad.
133
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,213
Yeah, you're just
making stuff up now.
134
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,506
Let's go, kids.
135
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,466
No, wait!
Don't go!
136
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,051
You're right,
you're right.
137
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,637
I was just making
all that stuff up.
138
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:30,223
Just trying to get
something going, you know.
139
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,225
So hard to meet
people these days.
140
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:33,810
( Snaps fingers )
141
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,271
So this was all just
a ploy to get a date?
142
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,772
I'm desperate, okay?
143
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,774
But every time I bring
someone back here
144
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:43,361
without keeping their hands
hostage, they just run away!
145
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,238
Well, yeah, look
at this horror show.
146
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,073
It's creepy
even for a cave!
147
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,825
You just need
to redecorate.
148
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,785
For example...
149
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,038
A handelabra!
150
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,708
Ooh,
the hand witch likes.
151
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,001
Then watch me work.
152
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:01,212
Home makeover!
153
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,425
Redecorate.
154
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,803
Redo you.
155
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:12,682
Change it around.
156
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,602
You got to do it
to make it work.
157
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:20,941
Okay. Time to take a look
at your fantastic new cave.
158
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,943
( Gasps )
159
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,445
MABEL: Men will definitely
tolerate you now.
160
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,281
And I left a book of pickup
lines on the end table.
161
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,533
Blah!
Oh, my goodness!
162
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,369
I can't believe
this is the same cave!
163
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,703
Oh, my goodness!
164
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,747
I just can't
find the words.
165
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,749
How about "Here's
your hands back"?
166
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:38,959
Oh, right.
167
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,710
( Snaps fingers )
168
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:43,421
( tapping )
169
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,466
Shaky, Scratchy.
170
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,301
I've missed you
old rascals.
171
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,970
You're all right,
sister.
172
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,306
Will you be
my boyfriend now?
173
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,683
No, never.
174
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,685
Well,
I learned nothing.
175
00:07:56,893 --> 00:08:00,105
Back to my crippling
loneliness.
176
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,774
Hey, I'm lost
in these mountains.
177
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,818
Could I crash here
for the night?
178
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,654
Please, come in. Uh...
179
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:09,614
( clears throat )
180
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,825
"Girl, are those space pants?
181
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,995
Because your butt looks
out of this world."
182
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,788
Wow.
Thanks for noticing.
183
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:17,998
Yes!
184
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,167
All right, I get it.
185
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,795
You don't want the hand,
you're a savvy customer.
186
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,881
But perhaps you'd be
interested in buying, um...
187
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,552
this magic pig.
188
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,220
Sure he doesn't look magic,
189
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,556
but there
is a very interesting story
190
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:35,849
I'm about
to make up about him,
191
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,643
and it's called
Abaconings!
192
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,357
"The What-The-Heck-A-Hedron!
193
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,234
Solve this test
of intelligence
194
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:49,237
and your photo
could be on this box."
195
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,157
Whoa. That's false advertising
I can get behind.
196
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,535
( Buzzing )
197
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,745
Come on.
198
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:57,746
( Buzzing )
199
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:58,788
Ugh!
200
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,457
MABEL: Ooh, that's a bummer.
201
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:03,835
This is May May and The Hogg
coming at you on the AM.
202
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:04,836
(Oinks)
203
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,004
Whoa!
204
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,006
Not sure we can say
that on the air.
205
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,716
Don't touch
that dial, truckers,
206
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,301
'cause The Hogg
just ate it.
207
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,719
( Honking, farts )
208
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,512
Mabel,
could you knock it off?
209
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,514
I'm trying to solve
this intelligence puzzle,
210
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:17,807
but it seems impossible.
211
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,100
( Buzzing )
212
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,394
Maybe you're just
not smart enough.
213
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,814
We'll see about that.
214
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,738
Buried near the falls is
the legendary percepshroom.
215
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,448
To increase brain power,
grind it up
216
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,158
and apply to
the forehead overnight.
217
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,120
Tomorrow, I own you!
218
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,584
( Snoring )
219
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,253
( sniffs )
220
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:04,562
(oinking )
221
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:07,857
Ha-ha!
222
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,442
I feel smarter already.
223
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:12,112
The digits
of pi are 3.1...
224
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,279
Um...
225
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,949
415926 etcetera.
226
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,492
What?
Who said that?
227
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:18,618
Mabel?
228
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,411
Whoa!
Dipper, look.
229
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,335
Greetings, friends.
It is I, Waddles the pig.
230
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,003
What?
Waddles, what happened to you?
231
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,673
Have you been possessed
by the spirit of a nerd?
232
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,842
I understand my transformation
may be vexing,
233
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,678
but I have prepared
a presentation.
234
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:40,849
Forgive me. My pig arms
are cute and useless.
235
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,852
The brain goop! You ate it
and built all this, didn't you?
236
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,061
This isn't right!
237
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,730
The pig goes oink.
The pig goes oink!
238
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,691
Now the pig goes
wherever he can shine
239
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,694
the light of knowledge into
the darkness of ignorance.
240
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,320
Whoa!
What the heck-a-hedron!
241
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,156
How did you do that?
242
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,700
I can teach you, Dipper.
I can teach you many things.
243
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,202
From the secrets
of astrophysics to the--
244
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,203
Hey, hey!
245
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,206
(oinking )
246
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,709
Man, I am loving
this new Waddles.
247
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,379
Yeah,
he's, uh, he's definitely...
248
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,672
different.
249
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,801
( Bleats )
250
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,012
Dude, that rocket cart
is amazing!
251
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,889
You and me
should go invent stuff.
252
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,600
Uh, Waddles,
don't you want to stay up here
253
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,810
and record some
morning pranks with me?
254
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,770
Mabel,
this pig's got a gift.
255
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:28,980
He needs to share it
with the world.
256
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,773
I'm sorry, Mabel.
257
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,817
There is more to life than
making fart noises
258
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,028
and laughing
at those fart noises.
259
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,321
I see that now.
260
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,323
( chuckling )
261
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:42,285
Yeah, you guys
just go on without me.
262
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,078
( Sighs )
263
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,205
( farts )
264
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,209
Oh, my kite got
stuck in a tree.
265
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,085
I hate everything!
266
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,004
I bet we could be
of service.
267
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,506
Ah! An affront
against nature!
268
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,925
Ha! Forget kites.
269
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,385
Here, take this rocket pack
I invented
270
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,471
and explore
the heavens yourself.
271
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,182
Forget that, Grenda is
gonna look at cute boys
272
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,808
through skylights.
273
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,690
I rule the sky!
274
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,026
Dude, that rocket pack
we made was amazing.
275
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,403
Don't forget the laser gun
we made for Candy.
276
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:18,696
( lasers firing )
277
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,240
CANDY:
That's to my enemies!
278
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,575
( laughter )
279
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,827
Welcome to May May
and The Hogg AM.
280
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,496
Top story today,
281
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,792
coping with crippling loneliness
after losing my co-host.
282
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,418
Loneliness! a'
283
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,464
What did that nasty goop
do to you?
284
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:39,801
You're not happier
like this, are you?
285
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,762
( Crash )
286
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,598
Ha-ha. This is
your greatest invention yet.
287
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,850
It could solve
every problem of mankind.
288
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,769
And bring me
many potatoes,
289
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:52,313
delicious potatoes.
290
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,400
Yummy yummy
for my fat little pig tummy.
291
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,193
What the heck is
going on here?
292
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,028
Mabel,
you are just in time
293
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,322
to behold
our greatest achievement.
294
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,741
The smarticle
accelerator!
295
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,786
Solving that brain puzzle
was just the tip of the iceberg.
296
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,913
With this, Waddles will be
able to solve
297
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,957
all the greatest puzzles
of the universe.
298
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,168
The origin of life.
The meaning of existence.
299
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,837
Why dudes have nipples.
300
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,758
Soon your pig is gonna be
world famous,
301
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,261
meeting with scientists,
presidents.
302
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,722
I wonder if I can teach him
to wear pants.
303
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,098
The whole world?
304
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,891
But when will you have
time for us?
305
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,518
I'm your best friend.
306
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,103
I'm still your friend,
Mabel.
307
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,314
But I'm helping
people now.
308
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,107
But what about
helping me?
309
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,776
Do you really want to spend
your whole life in meetings
310
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,528
with dumb smart guys?
311
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:43,239
This brain junk has made you
forget who you are.
312
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,491
Don't you remember us?
313
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,955
Remember those times a'
314
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:54,167
Don't forget
to remember those times r
315
00:13:54,375 --> 00:14:00,673
Just remember
to remember those times r
316
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:01,966
It all makes sense now.
317
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,843
What good is
helping the world
318
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:06,763
if I can't help my favorite
person in the world?
319
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,973
It's a good thing
I built in a dum-dum switch.
320
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,688
Waddles!
Waddles, don't! Wait!
321
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,067
I'm sorry, Dipper-
322
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,318
In my last eight seconds
of consciousness,
323
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,736
I want you to know
324
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,738
that science is a horizon
to search for,
325
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,865
not a prize
to hold in your hand.
326
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,576
Also I miss getting
my tummy tickled.
327
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,870
(oinking )
328
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,997
Oh, Waddles.
329
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:35,083
( Electrical crackling )
330
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,962
No!
Our invention!
331
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,757
I know what will make you
feel better.
332
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,343
A simple hug
from a simple pig.
333
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,720
Yeah, guess so.
334
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,848
( laughs)
335
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,727
Good pig. Ugh-
336
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,356
You know what? You're right.
Don't buy the pig.
337
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,149
In fact I'm better off
leaving it with my niece.
338
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:01,442
( Arrow twanging )
339
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,403
No shooting in the house,
sweetie.
340
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,864
But perhaps I could interest you
in something else.
341
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,867
Like these
spooky movies!
342
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,244
Movies are great.
343
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,413
You watch the movie,
you scare the girl,
344
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:14,831
the girl snuggles up
next to you.
345
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,541
Next thing you know,
you got to raise a kid,
346
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,875
your life falls apart.
347
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,085
Forget that last part.
348
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,046
This next tale is called
Clay Day!
349
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,428
GIRL: ( on TV) You did it,
Shimmery Twinkleheart!
350
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,096
No, you did it,
Cinnamon.
351
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:33,224
Because you believed
in yourself.
352
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,101
Everything
about this is bad.
353
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,602
Well, that just
put me 90 minutes
354
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:37,854
closer to death.
355
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,105
It's time you kids
learn to watch
356
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,273
the classics from my day.
357
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,400
Ooh, old people movies.
358
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,694
Get ready for references
we don't understand
359
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:45,945
and words
we can't repeat.
360
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,493
You're no match
for Loinclothiclese.
361
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,537
I've come
for the golden pants.
362
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:56,497
( roars )
363
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:57,665
( screaming )
364
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,334
Oh, no! Mabel!
365
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:01,878
Well,
your sister is broken.
366
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,505
Oh, Grunkle Stan,
I should have told you before
367
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,424
that Mabel
has a childhood terror
368
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,634
of old-timey stop-motion
animation.
369
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,220
It's like her number one fear
since we were kids.
370
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,806
( Chuckles ) Come on,
those hokey old things,
371
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,475
how scared could she be?
372
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:20,480
The Cyclops! His face
is made of nightmares!
373
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,607
Kid, it's just a movie.
It can't hurt you.
374
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:23,608
No talking.
375
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:24,692
They wait for you to talk
376
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,903
and then crawl
inside your mouth!
377
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,905
Why did you have
to show her that tape?
378
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:30,823
There's got to be a way
to get her over this!
379
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:35,411
Huh...
380
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,125
All right, if we can just
get the director to show her
381
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,503
the models are fake,
maybe she'll finally calm down.
382
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:44,504
I don't know, dude.
383
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:45,713
According to the internet,
384
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:46,881
special effects genius
Harry Claymore
385
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,424
is some kind of recluse.
386
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,302
Man wants his privacy.
I can respect that.
387
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,765
Well, everyone
over the fence.
388
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,601
You see, Mabel, those monsters
are just tiny clay figures
389
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,854
moved around one frame at
a time by an antisocial shut-in.
390
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:04,232
Those people
are called animators.
391
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,026
Hello?
( echoes )
392
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,403
Mr. Claymore?
393
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,239
We want to get a look
at your figurines.
394
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,115
We're not paparazzi.
395
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,618
Aha!
396
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,246
See, Mabel, it's all just
special effects.
397
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,497
You can come out.
398
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:20,581
MABEL: NO!
399
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:21,582
Kid, listen to me.
400
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:22,875
For the last time,
401
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,711
there is nothing here
to be afraid of--
402
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,257
( roars )
403
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,841
( screaming )
404
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:31,968
(groans)
405
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,971
It's slowly...
406
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,682
swiping at us!
407
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,226
Let's escape by
standing still!
408
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,562
Oh, it didn't work!
409
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,231
( Screaming )
410
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,859
Whoa!
411
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,403
( Screams )
412
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:51,404
( roars )
413
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,406
( screaming )
414
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,949
(groans)
415
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,580
How is this happening?
What do they want?
416
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,915
HARRY: I'm afraid
they want you.
417
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,587
Harry Claymore,
master of special effects,
418
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,589
circa 1970 something.
419
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:13,342
Alas, my effects
are more special than you know.
420
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,052
What? But how are
these things real?
421
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,053
What about stop motion?
422
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,305
What?
423
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,598
Do you really
believe someone
424
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,558
moves these figures
one frame at a time?
425
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,143
I'm not a masochist.
426
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,895
I used black magic to make them
animate themselves.
427
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,273
It was great at first,
but one day...
428
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,571
No!
429
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,740
Where's the heart?!
430
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,700
HARRY: Now that they were
out of work,
431
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,911
they went mad
and enslaved me!
432
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,290
And now they will turn you
into unholy beasts of clay
433
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:45,958
to join in their mischief!
434
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,501
Well, Mr. Pines,
at least you'll finally
435
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,295
get to work with
your favorite director.
436
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:52,298
And by work, I mean, suffocate
inside a big wad of clay.
437
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,675
DIPPER: Help!
438
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:55,760
Somebody help us!
439
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:56,719
Help!
440
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,179
Oh, what do I do?
441
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,057
How can I defeat
those monstrosities?
442
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,563
Hey, I changed it into
something I like.
443
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,691
Whoa.
I think I have an idea!
444
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,819
Hey, one-eyed-clops!
445
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:15,738
Yeah, I'm talking to you,
dum-dum!
446
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:16,989
Come at me!
447
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,240
(yells)
448
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,874
Ah!
449
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,168
Wipe that face off
your face.
450
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,589
Oh, I've got big plans for you!
451
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,383
Hey, skeleton dorks!
452
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,968
It's "clayback" time!
453
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,929
Whoo-hoo-hoo.
454
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,432
Dude, you conquered
your fear.
455
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,811
That's right. Because
she believed in herself.
456
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,270
Can it, Twinkleheart!
457
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,690
Just start pounding
those skeletons!
458
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:54,819
Mabel, you did it.
459
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,237
So you're not scared
anymore?
460
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,239
Oh, I'm scared
twice as much now,
461
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,741
but now I know
it's rational.
462
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,411
Kid, I'm sorry I doubted you.
You were right.
463
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,579
Stop motion is
pure evil.
464
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:07,665
And probably
really expensive.
465
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,542
Incredibly expensive.
466
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,795
This is an impressive
fight though.
467
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,714
I'm glad
I'm facing towards it.
468
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,591
ALL: 'lav!
469
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,884
That was the best part.
470
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:29,395
Well, I think today we learned
that you can remold your fears.
471
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,939
I'm just glad none of us
got turned into clay.
472
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,274
Holy Toledo!
473
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,153
Who wants to see me
change into most anything?
474
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,822
( Humming )
475
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,866
I can walk
through walls.
476
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,367
Whoa!
477
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,120
We're safe now, kids.
478
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,872
We're safe.
479
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,373
I don't get it.
480
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,250
You don't want the pig,
you don't want my tapes,
481
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,127
what are you gonna buy?
482
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,755
How about this
delicious potion?
483
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,757
Here, have
a free sample.
484
00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,175
( glugging )
485
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:04,805
( thud )
486
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,140
STAN: You should
have bought my merch
487
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,350
when you had the chance,
buddy.
488
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,060
But that's okay.
489
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,730
I'll have something new
for sale very soon.
490
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,565
( Chuckling )
491
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:18,652
And here we have
our latest attraction.
492
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,905
The legendary
Cheapskate!
493
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,865
I saw it blinking.
494
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,742
Just an optical illusion.
495
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,327
Come along, everyone.
496
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,454
Step right up! ( laughs )
497
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:33,667
That's right,
I'm a jerk.
498
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,795
Hey, want to play
tic-tac-toe?
499
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,675
Hey, I wanted to be Xs,
let me be Xs.
500
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,511
Trust me,
just let her be Xs.
501
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:44,887
( Sighs )
502
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,056
Yay!
503
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,850
Actually I'm sorry.
I changed my mind, I'll be Os.
504
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,895
Okay, you're gonna
hate me right now,
505
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:55,189
but is Xs still
a possibility?
506
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:00,653
I don't think
you're playing this right.
507
00:22:00,703 --> 00:22:05,253
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