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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,456 --> 00:00:03,456 Go ahead, order anything you want. It's on the house! 2 00:00:03,457 --> 00:00:05,103 Because you are the house. 3 00:00:05,103 --> 00:00:06,303 That's right, I'm the house, baby. 4 00:00:07,933 --> 00:00:09,100 Look at us. 5 00:00:09,167 --> 00:00:10,501 Yeah, it's been two months, 6 00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:11,132 and you still get a kick out of me. 7 00:00:11,132 --> 00:00:12,966 We'll see how I'm feeling at three. 8 00:00:13,034 --> 00:00:14,667 (laughs) 9 00:00:14,691 --> 00:00:16,691 Sync and corrections by squallounet www.addic7ed.com 10 00:00:16,737 --> 00:00:19,005 (Gerald clears his throat) 11 00:00:20,674 --> 00:00:21,641 Yes, son? 12 00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:22,909 - Ooh, nice jacket. - Mm-hmm. 13 00:00:22,977 --> 00:00:24,644 Dressin' for successin'. 14 00:00:24,712 --> 00:00:26,713 Rhymin' like a... 15 00:00:27,748 --> 00:00:29,449 I don't have it. 16 00:00:29,517 --> 00:00:31,284 Anyway, we need to talk about birthday party. 17 00:00:31,352 --> 00:00:32,819 (gasps) Oh, Gerald. 18 00:00:32,887 --> 00:00:34,621 I had no idea. 19 00:00:34,688 --> 00:00:36,656 How old are you turning? Wait, no, no, no, no. 20 00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:37,791 Don't tell me. I'm great at this. 21 00:00:37,858 --> 00:00:38,792 Uh... 22 00:00:38,859 --> 00:00:40,126 (laughs) 23 00:00:41,262 --> 00:00:42,495 Ooh. 24 00:00:42,563 --> 00:00:43,830 Taking a while. 25 00:00:43,898 --> 00:00:45,665 Forget it. You know what? 26 00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:48,101 Your unusual man-boy quality is making it impossible. 27 00:00:48,169 --> 00:00:49,335 I know, right? Look it. 28 00:00:49,403 --> 00:00:50,437 He-he's got a baby face, 29 00:00:50,504 --> 00:00:52,105 - yet a 5:00 shadow. - Mm-hmm. 30 00:00:52,173 --> 00:00:53,840 That's it. Man, boy, man, boy, man... 31 00:00:53,908 --> 00:00:55,708 Oh! Yeah, this is fun. 32 00:00:55,776 --> 00:00:57,644 Yeah, but it's actually not my birthday. 33 00:00:57,711 --> 00:00:58,845 It's my dad's. 34 00:00:58,913 --> 00:01:00,113 On Saturday, he's turning... 35 00:01:00,181 --> 00:01:01,214 - 50, 50. - (gasps) 36 00:01:01,282 --> 00:01:02,882 Guilty. Big five-O. 37 00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:05,118 - It's a big one. - Wait, it is your 50th birthday? 38 00:01:05,186 --> 00:01:06,553 - Mm-hmm - Why didn't you tell...? 39 00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:08,221 - (phone ringing) - Oh, wait, sorry. 40 00:01:08,289 --> 00:01:09,889 Hello? 41 00:01:09,957 --> 00:01:12,325 Oh, wait, it's the woman Olivia Pope is based off of. 42 00:01:12,393 --> 00:01:14,794 Excuse me, I have to take it. 43 00:01:14,862 --> 00:01:16,396 Hi, Judy. How can I help? 44 00:01:16,464 --> 00:01:17,730 I'm confused. 45 00:01:17,798 --> 00:01:19,132 Oh, that's Kerry Washington's 46 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,834 character on Scandal. 47 00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:22,035 Yeah, thank you. Uh, no. 48 00:01:22,103 --> 00:01:23,636 Aren't you turning 51? 49 00:01:23,704 --> 00:01:25,138 You know who's 50? Robert Downey Jr. 50 00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:26,739 And he pulls the "Jr." off like it's nothing. 51 00:01:26,807 --> 00:01:27,740 You know who's 51? 52 00:01:27,808 --> 00:01:29,142 The guy who voices Gollum, 53 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,977 Wanda Sykes, 54 00:01:31,045 --> 00:01:32,345 Bernie Sanders. 55 00:01:32,413 --> 00:01:33,680 I'm just getting used to being 50. 56 00:01:33,747 --> 00:01:34,848 I'm not ready to be fifty... 57 00:01:34,915 --> 00:01:35,815 - Babe? - What, babe? 58 00:01:35,883 --> 00:01:37,383 I am throwing you 59 00:01:37,451 --> 00:01:39,486 a 50th birthday party to end all parties. 60 00:01:39,553 --> 00:01:40,820 - No. - It is not up for discussion. 61 00:01:40,888 --> 00:01:42,388 I'll come back to plan, 62 00:01:42,456 --> 00:01:44,257 but first I got to go meet Jada for sushi. 63 00:01:44,325 --> 00:01:45,725 Okay. Mm! 64 00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:47,827 - Bye, Gerald. - Bye, Catherine. 65 00:01:47,895 --> 00:01:50,063 Jada Pinkett Smith. 66 00:01:50,131 --> 00:01:51,957 Do all fancy black women know each other? 67 00:01:51,982 --> 00:01:52,589 Pretty much. 68 00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:54,234 You two are right on the line right about now. 69 00:01:54,301 --> 00:01:55,702 How long have you been sitting there? 70 00:01:55,769 --> 00:01:57,003 Long enough to hear you're having 71 00:01:57,071 --> 00:01:58,705 a 50th birthday party, which confused me, 72 00:01:58,772 --> 00:02:00,406 because didn't we do that a year ago? 73 00:02:00,474 --> 00:02:01,875 But you didn't know me back then, 74 00:02:01,942 --> 00:02:03,176 so now I get to go. 75 00:02:03,244 --> 00:02:05,044 Yeah. At least this time, we can 76 00:02:05,112 --> 00:02:06,746 do it without that hairy donut on your face. 77 00:02:06,814 --> 00:02:08,281 Oh, come on, that goatee looked good and you know it. 78 00:02:08,349 --> 00:02:09,382 Yeah, it did. 79 00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:10,817 You totally pulled it off. 80 00:02:16,824 --> 00:02:19,459 Play "Happy Birthday." 81 00:02:19,527 --> 00:02:20,760 (jazzy instrumental plays) 82 00:02:20,828 --> 00:02:21,861 Morning, sexy. 83 00:02:21,929 --> 00:02:23,363 Hi. 84 00:02:23,430 --> 00:02:24,898 Is today your birthday? 85 00:02:24,965 --> 00:02:25,965 It is. 86 00:02:26,033 --> 00:02:27,267 Happy birthday 87 00:02:27,334 --> 00:02:28,568 To you 88 00:02:28,636 --> 00:02:32,205 Happy birthday, dear Steven 89 00:02:32,273 --> 00:02:33,973 It's Jimmy 90 00:02:34,041 --> 00:02:36,309 Really? Oh, I could've sworn... 91 00:02:36,377 --> 00:02:37,710 Yeah, it's okay, Katie, sometimes... 92 00:02:37,778 --> 00:02:38,845 Rachel. 93 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:40,980 Right. 94 00:02:41,048 --> 00:02:42,215 Yes. 95 00:02:44,852 --> 00:02:46,819 Names. 96 00:02:48,455 --> 00:02:51,391 97 00:02:51,458 --> 00:02:53,493 Thanks for coming down. 98 00:02:53,561 --> 00:02:54,961 I'm always here. 99 00:02:55,029 --> 00:02:56,229 My boyfriend's out of town 100 00:02:56,297 --> 00:02:57,931 - playing a gig this weekend. - Oh. 101 00:02:57,998 --> 00:03:00,300 Oh, a "gig" is another word for a concert. 102 00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:02,902 And I know that because my boyfriend is in the biz. 103 00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:05,104 The "biz" meaning the music bus... 104 00:03:05,172 --> 00:03:06,639 We get it... your boyfriend's a musician. 105 00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,841 Okay, so this is what I'm thinking. 106 00:03:08,909 --> 00:03:11,811 I'm thinking we have a big blowout here at the restaurant. 107 00:03:11,879 --> 00:03:14,180 Shotgun, dessert! I call dessert. Dibs! No backsies! 108 00:03:14,248 --> 00:03:16,316 Ah, ah, I got dessert. 109 00:03:16,383 --> 00:03:18,851 Sorry, I thought dessert was gonna go quick. 110 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,420 No, no, this is exciting. It's exciting. 111 00:03:20,487 --> 00:03:22,121 So let's plan the party for maybe... 112 00:03:22,189 --> 00:03:23,823 JIMMY: Hey, hey, hey. 113 00:03:23,891 --> 00:03:25,625 What are you three doing hanging around here for...? 114 00:03:25,693 --> 00:03:27,193 Are you guys planning a party for me? 115 00:03:27,261 --> 00:03:28,695 If so, don't, 'cause last year was a hot mess. 116 00:03:28,762 --> 00:03:29,996 Now, if you want to celebrate me... 117 00:03:30,064 --> 00:03:31,664 and I understand the draw... 118 00:03:31,732 --> 00:03:33,833 then a nice family dinner would hit the spot. 119 00:03:33,901 --> 00:03:34,450 Shotgun, dessert! 120 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,959 You're doing dessert. No one else wants it. 121 00:03:36,003 --> 00:03:37,837 - Okay. - CATHERINE: Okay, family dinner. 122 00:03:37,905 --> 00:03:39,672 Well, I know Florida's not right around the corner, 123 00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:41,975 but what do you think... maybe we should invite your dad? 124 00:03:42,042 --> 00:03:43,343 Oh... 125 00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:45,144 That's not necessary. He's a busy man. 126 00:03:45,212 --> 00:03:47,046 I-I'd never ask him to come all the way out here 127 00:03:47,114 --> 00:03:49,682 for a silly birthday party. 128 00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:51,351 Great news, I convinced my dad 129 00:03:51,418 --> 00:03:53,011 to fly out for my big birthday party. 130 00:03:53,036 --> 00:03:53,810 You have a dad? 131 00:03:53,854 --> 00:03:56,456 I always just imagined he hatched from a leather egg. 132 00:03:56,523 --> 00:03:58,725 Aw, man, we wore the same beard to work. 133 00:03:58,792 --> 00:03:59,959 (laughs) 134 00:04:00,027 --> 00:04:01,461 Ooh! 135 00:04:01,528 --> 00:04:03,329 What is going on with that thing? 136 00:04:03,397 --> 00:04:06,165 I feel like there's less there than there was yesterday. 137 00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:08,835 Can't believe it... my dad's gonna finally see my restaurant. 138 00:04:08,902 --> 00:04:10,737 You guys are gonna love Jack Martino. 139 00:04:10,804 --> 00:04:12,538 I mean, if I was ever gonna be a dad, 140 00:04:12,606 --> 00:04:14,140 I'd want to be a dad just like him. 141 00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:15,842 But it's totally hypothetical, 142 00:04:15,909 --> 00:04:17,143 'cause I'm never gonna have a son, right? 143 00:04:17,211 --> 00:04:18,578 (shudders, chuckles) 144 00:04:18,646 --> 00:04:20,913 Okay, once we send in our application, 145 00:04:20,981 --> 00:04:22,682 if it's approved, CoParentPro will be 146 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:24,150 available on the App Store. 147 00:04:24,218 --> 00:04:25,985 Ah, we're gonna be like Shazam! 148 00:04:26,053 --> 00:04:27,504 Yeah, if God is good, we'll be like Shazam. 149 00:04:27,529 --> 00:04:28,012 Yeah. 150 00:04:28,055 --> 00:04:30,490 All right, all I got to do is hit send. 151 00:04:30,557 --> 00:04:32,091 I can't do it. 152 00:04:32,159 --> 00:04:33,226 You do it. Do it? 153 00:04:33,294 --> 00:04:34,360 - Nah, I can't do it. - Do it. 154 00:04:34,428 --> 00:04:35,762 - Just do it. - I have bad juju. 155 00:04:35,829 --> 00:04:37,830 Edie, you do it. 156 00:04:37,898 --> 00:04:38,865 Press send. 157 00:04:38,932 --> 00:04:40,066 Ooh, let's do this. 158 00:04:40,134 --> 00:04:42,001 - Ah, go for it. - Ah, okay. 159 00:04:42,069 --> 00:04:44,003 - Send. - (computer chimes) 160 00:04:44,071 --> 00:04:46,005 - Ah, yes! - Ah, yay! 161 00:04:47,941 --> 00:04:50,109 - Good job, bobo. - Oh, man. 162 00:04:50,177 --> 00:04:53,179 Who would've ever thought the three of us would end up here? 163 00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:58,117 Listen, I'm really not supposed to tell you this, 164 00:04:58,185 --> 00:04:59,252 but you can buy this exact phone on the Internet 165 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,853 for, like, 50 bucks less. 166 00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:02,121 Comes with a free case, so 167 00:05:02,189 --> 00:05:03,289 I mean, do you what you want, 168 00:05:03,357 --> 00:05:05,124 but don't be an idiot. 169 00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:08,895 170 00:05:15,803 --> 00:05:18,538 My baby mama, Vanessa. 171 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:20,973 We were on the same cell phone 172 00:05:21,041 --> 00:05:22,141 sales force for over a year. 173 00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:24,610 And then one fateful night, 174 00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:27,046 I caught her at her absolute lowest point. 175 00:05:27,114 --> 00:05:28,281 Yeah. 176 00:05:28,349 --> 00:05:29,949 Four hard lemonades 177 00:05:30,017 --> 00:05:31,584 and one defective organic condom later, 178 00:05:31,652 --> 00:05:32,952 and booyah! 179 00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:35,054 I'm a 24-year-old cell phone salesman 180 00:05:35,122 --> 00:05:37,123 with a half-Cuban baby that looks nothing like me. 181 00:05:37,191 --> 00:05:39,592 It's a tale as old as time. 182 00:05:39,660 --> 00:05:41,127 I mean, she says we're just friends 183 00:05:41,195 --> 00:05:42,929 raising a kid together, but I think 184 00:05:42,996 --> 00:05:44,564 we both know what that means, don't we? 185 00:05:44,631 --> 00:05:46,132 I'll just go to the mall. 186 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,034 All right. 187 00:05:50,838 --> 00:05:53,139 Hey. 188 00:05:53,207 --> 00:05:54,307 Hey, what's up? 189 00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:56,309 - Are you hungry? - Ah, nah. 190 00:05:56,377 --> 00:05:58,144 I just had a huge sandwich for lunch. 191 00:05:58,212 --> 00:06:00,012 It was like the size of my arm... you should've seen it! 192 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,248 Oh, I would've loved to have seen that sandwich. 193 00:06:02,316 --> 00:06:04,984 You maybe want to eat dinner with me tonight? 194 00:06:05,052 --> 00:06:06,853 Sure. Will your mom watch Edie? 195 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,254 Yeah, yeah, she's just gonna stay in 196 00:06:08,322 --> 00:06:09,856 and hang out with her friends. 197 00:06:09,923 --> 00:06:11,124 Oh, you mean those weird 198 00:06:11,191 --> 00:06:12,291 divorced ladies she's always with? 199 00:06:12,359 --> 00:06:13,960 (chuckles) Yeah. 200 00:06:14,027 --> 00:06:15,294 They're the worst. 201 00:06:15,362 --> 00:06:16,462 Yeah. 202 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:18,097 And then she said she'd come. 203 00:06:18,165 --> 00:06:19,966 (all cheer) I knew it! I knew it! 204 00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:21,200 Thank you, guys. 205 00:06:21,268 --> 00:06:22,935 Man, see, this is why you're my best friends. 206 00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:25,438 Oh, sweetie, this is so great. 207 00:06:25,506 --> 00:06:28,708 Not that you just called Anna, Deb and Marsha 208 00:06:28,776 --> 00:06:30,009 your best friends, but the part 209 00:06:30,077 --> 00:06:31,444 - about Vanessa! - Thanks. 210 00:06:31,512 --> 00:06:33,346 So, any tips for tonight or...? 211 00:06:33,414 --> 00:06:35,281 Wear the olive-green turtleneck I knit you. 212 00:06:35,349 --> 00:06:37,984 Let your neck be a sexy surprise for later. 213 00:06:38,051 --> 00:06:39,719 Yes, you will look like Javier Bardem 214 00:06:39,787 --> 00:06:41,154 - in that turtleneck! - Yeah, really? 215 00:06:41,221 --> 00:06:42,855 - Oh, absolutely, yeah. - You should grow bangs. 216 00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:44,223 You know, sometimes I wonder like, 217 00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:46,125 maybe I should have some friends my own age 218 00:06:46,193 --> 00:06:48,027 and gender giving me dating advice, 219 00:06:48,095 --> 00:06:50,663 or like a real male influence. 220 00:06:52,065 --> 00:06:53,866 Then you guys hit me with that 221 00:06:53,934 --> 00:06:55,535 Bardem turtleneck rec 222 00:06:55,602 --> 00:06:57,804 and I realized I'm right where I'm supposed to be. 223 00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:01,240 Thanks, guys. 224 00:07:01,308 --> 00:07:02,675 It takes a village, ladies. Mm-hmm. 225 00:07:02,743 --> 00:07:04,911 Takes a village. (sighs) 226 00:07:04,935 --> 00:07:10,007 Annelise. Does this table look ok? 227 00:07:10,594 --> 00:07:12,762 I mean, are the forks crooked? 228 00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:14,197 I just... 229 00:07:14,264 --> 00:07:16,165 And would you describe these candles as moss green? 230 00:07:16,233 --> 00:07:17,934 Because his eyes are moss green, and obviously... 231 00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:20,703 Catherine, I saw you give a TED Talk to 5,000 people. 232 00:07:20,771 --> 00:07:22,505 This candle business is beneath you. 233 00:07:22,573 --> 00:07:26,075 I know, I just... I really want tonight to be perfect. 234 00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:28,778 Can I tell you something stupid? 235 00:07:28,846 --> 00:07:32,582 If you must, but, to be honest, my days are filled 236 00:07:32,649 --> 00:07:34,117 with hearing stupid things, 237 00:07:34,184 --> 00:07:35,918 and I was hoping a woman of your stature would... 238 00:07:35,986 --> 00:07:37,587 I am so into Jimmy. 239 00:07:37,654 --> 00:07:39,389 - Ah, damn it. - No, check that. 240 00:07:39,456 --> 00:07:40,690 I am more than into him. 241 00:07:40,758 --> 00:07:43,426 I... am falling in... 242 00:07:43,494 --> 00:07:45,728 Whoa, whoa, whoa, before you complete that sentence, 243 00:07:45,796 --> 00:07:47,243 you might want to pump the brakes a few times. 244 00:07:47,243 --> 00:07:50,278 I don't. When it comes to men, I always pump the brakes. 245 00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:52,847 That's what I do: I run a Fortune 500 company, 246 00:07:52,915 --> 00:07:56,017 I buy yachts, and I pump, pump, pump those damn brakes. 247 00:07:56,085 --> 00:07:58,419 "Yachts" with an S? Like, multiple yachts? 248 00:07:58,487 --> 00:08:00,588 Tonight, I am gonna gather up some liquid courage, 249 00:08:00,656 --> 00:08:02,490 make a toast, 250 00:08:02,558 --> 00:08:04,425 and tell him that I love him. 251 00:08:04,493 --> 00:08:07,195 I cannot believe I bought your book. 252 00:08:07,263 --> 00:08:09,998 Look, no-no matter what happens, I can promise you one thing: 253 00:08:10,065 --> 00:08:12,167 this party will be better than last year's. 254 00:08:12,234 --> 00:08:13,935 (Catherine chuckles) 255 00:08:14,003 --> 00:08:15,103 Bang bang into the room 256 00:08:15,171 --> 00:08:16,371 I know you want it 257 00:08:16,438 --> 00:08:18,606 Bang bang all over you 258 00:08:18,674 --> 00:08:20,108 I'll let you have it 259 00:08:20,176 --> 00:08:21,109 Wait a minute 260 00:08:21,177 --> 00:08:23,611 Let me take you there... 261 00:08:23,679 --> 00:08:26,114 (chuckles) The problem with sitcoms nowadays 262 00:08:26,182 --> 00:08:28,950 is that the dads are so ugly. 263 00:08:29,018 --> 00:08:30,518 Who wants a kiss? 264 00:08:30,586 --> 00:08:32,520 Now this, this is a party. 265 00:08:32,588 --> 00:08:36,057 You got balloons, you got a vodka luge, Alan Thicke... 266 00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,091 How'd Alan Thicke get in? 267 00:08:39,128 --> 00:08:40,295 Dad, you made it! 268 00:08:40,362 --> 00:08:42,030 ...hold her hand in school 269 00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:45,533 But I'm-a show you how to graduate... 270 00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:47,735 - What do you think? - This the restaurant? 271 00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:49,070 Yeah, it's my baby. 272 00:08:49,138 --> 00:08:51,072 A few windows might be nice. 273 00:08:51,140 --> 00:08:53,408 But I guess the kids all like it dim nowadays. 274 00:08:53,475 --> 00:08:55,176 - Yeah. - Who are all these people? 275 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:57,345 Oh, just 75 of my closest friends. 276 00:08:57,413 --> 00:08:58,847 All these 20-year-old girls, 277 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,648 these... these are your closest friends? 278 00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:01,649 (laughing): Yeah, what do you think? 279 00:09:01,717 --> 00:09:03,151 Oh, here. Here, try this. 280 00:09:03,219 --> 00:09:05,386 Meatball marinara, like we like. 281 00:09:05,454 --> 00:09:07,222 - Mmm, yeah. - How is it? 282 00:09:07,289 --> 00:09:09,190 Yech. 283 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,426 You didn't get your mother's sauce, 284 00:09:11,493 --> 00:09:13,228 - but you got her legs. - Uh, you're right. 285 00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:15,230 There's something wrong with this sauce! 286 00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,098 And he-he's right, there's not enough light in this place! 287 00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:19,167 Turn some lights on! The place looks horrible. 288 00:09:21,303 --> 00:09:22,770 The place looks beautiful. (laughs) 289 00:09:22,838 --> 00:09:24,772 Are those candles the exact color of my eyes? 290 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,274 I don't know, are they? 291 00:09:26,342 --> 00:09:27,775 (both laugh) 292 00:09:27,843 --> 00:09:31,279 Oh, hey, guys, I'm gonna join you in just a second. 293 00:09:31,347 --> 00:09:33,114 I got to keep working on those cr?me br?l?es. 294 00:09:33,182 --> 00:09:35,116 (chuckles) Kook. 295 00:09:35,184 --> 00:09:38,386 Okay, um, everyone, I'd like to say a few words. 296 00:09:38,454 --> 00:09:39,687 GERALD: Holy crap. 297 00:09:39,755 --> 00:09:41,089 Our app just got approved. 298 00:09:41,156 --> 00:09:42,590 CoParentPro is now in the App Store, 299 00:09:42,658 --> 00:09:44,559 and 15 people have already downloaded it. 300 00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,560 JIMMY: Wow! 301 00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,762 Yay! Congratulations! 302 00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:49,564 I'll tell him later. 303 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:50,865 - Mmm. - Yeah. 304 00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:52,567 JIMMY: Hey, hey, hey, you horndogs. 305 00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,569 Class it up a little bit, act like you've been 306 00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:55,570 in a nice restaurant before. 307 00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,572 And that is why 308 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,375 you never go ice-staking after eating Chinese. 309 00:10:00,442 --> 00:10:02,377 - Yeah. (chuckles) - You okay, G? 310 00:10:02,444 --> 00:10:04,379 - You're sweating. - No, I'm fine. 311 00:10:04,446 --> 00:10:06,381 Yeah, it's just sort of, like, an unexpectedly long way to walk 312 00:10:06,448 --> 00:10:07,882 in a wool turtleneck. 313 00:10:09,952 --> 00:10:11,152 Ooh, breadsticks. 314 00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:12,654 Yeah. 315 00:10:12,721 --> 00:10:14,222 One for the road. 316 00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:16,624 - Vanessa? - Tad? 317 00:10:16,692 --> 00:10:18,393 TAD (chuckles): I thought I was never gonna see you again 318 00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:19,994 after that night at the foam party. 319 00:10:20,062 --> 00:10:21,162 (laughing): Oh, my God. 320 00:10:21,230 --> 00:10:22,430 You remember all the foam? 321 00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:23,431 TAD: It was so wet. 322 00:10:23,499 --> 00:10:25,066 (Vanessa and Tad laugh) 323 00:10:25,134 --> 00:10:26,734 - It was great. It was... - You okay, G? 324 00:10:26,802 --> 00:10:28,303 - I'm fine. - You need help? 325 00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:29,504 - No, okay. - Okay, here. 326 00:10:29,571 --> 00:10:31,039 It's so hot! Oh, God! 327 00:10:32,374 --> 00:10:33,741 (chuckles) 328 00:10:34,977 --> 00:10:36,010 - What's up, dude? Gerald. - Hey. 329 00:10:36,078 --> 00:10:37,278 - How you doing? Yeah. - Pleasure. 330 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,479 - Pleasure to meet you, man. - Yeah, yeah. 331 00:10:38,547 --> 00:10:40,148 - (cell phone rings) - Cool. Oh. 332 00:10:40,215 --> 00:10:41,516 Uh... 333 00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:43,084 It's, uh, the cell phone store. Excuse me. 334 00:10:43,152 --> 00:10:44,319 VANESSA: Cool. 335 00:10:44,386 --> 00:10:46,321 Hey, Derrick. 336 00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:49,357 Yeah, well, I-I told him to buy it online, 337 00:10:49,425 --> 00:10:50,658 but I didn't say... 338 00:10:50,726 --> 00:10:52,560 Come on, man, you can't just fire me... 339 00:10:54,396 --> 00:10:55,830 Yeah. 340 00:10:55,898 --> 00:10:57,832 Yes, I'll turn in my shirt tomorrow. 341 00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,801 Yes, I will wash it first. 342 00:11:01,437 --> 00:11:02,837 (phone beeps off) 343 00:11:02,905 --> 00:11:05,139 344 00:11:06,241 --> 00:11:08,209 (Vanessa giggling) 345 00:11:12,281 --> 00:11:14,549 This, this is where the magic happens. 346 00:11:14,616 --> 00:11:16,784 So this is the room where they make the crap sauce, huh? 347 00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:19,220 He looks just like Jimmy 348 00:11:19,288 --> 00:11:20,955 if you left him out in the sun for a couple of years. 349 00:11:21,023 --> 00:11:23,358 Hey, I'm Ravi, Jimmy's head chef. 350 00:11:23,425 --> 00:11:24,959 We've heard so much about you. 351 00:11:25,027 --> 00:11:27,795 You talk about your family to your staff? Good God. 352 00:11:27,863 --> 00:11:30,398 I bet they have a good time pretending to care about that. 353 00:11:30,466 --> 00:11:32,967 (laughs) What do you do for a living, Jack? 354 00:11:33,035 --> 00:11:34,736 You a, uh, insult comic? 355 00:11:34,803 --> 00:11:36,170 I own a lawn mower company. 356 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:38,406 Oh, that's a... 357 00:11:38,474 --> 00:11:40,808 I used to have a lawn mower. 358 00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:41,809 Dad, Annelise used to have a lawn mower. 359 00:11:41,877 --> 00:11:42,877 JACK: I met my wife 360 00:11:42,945 --> 00:11:44,879 selling her a lawn mower. 361 00:11:44,947 --> 00:11:46,814 Linda, may she rest in peace. 362 00:11:46,882 --> 00:11:50,084 Jimmy's mother and I were married 50 years. 363 00:11:50,152 --> 00:11:51,552 What do you think, Jimmy? 364 00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:53,354 You think you could hunker down for five decades 365 00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:55,323 with one of those playmates out there? 366 00:11:55,391 --> 00:11:56,891 You had a pretty strong connection 367 00:11:56,959 --> 00:11:58,893 with Miss October, right, Ji...? 368 00:11:58,961 --> 00:11:59,927 (sighs) 369 00:12:01,397 --> 00:12:02,530 I'm gonna have another Scotch. 370 00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:04,766 Bye. 371 00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:06,567 He's just busting balls. He's from another time. 372 00:12:06,635 --> 00:12:09,470 That's... that's how they expressed love back then. 373 00:12:11,807 --> 00:12:15,343 Now I kind of wish Jimmy was born from a leather egg. 374 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,619 375 00:12:40,002 --> 00:12:41,969 (door opens) 376 00:12:42,037 --> 00:12:43,271 Oh, quick, sit. 377 00:12:43,338 --> 00:12:45,306 I-I'm watching the movie My Life 378 00:12:45,374 --> 00:12:46,507 with a pre Birdman Michael Keaton, 379 00:12:46,575 --> 00:12:48,776 and I'm gonna see if I can cry so hard I get abs. 380 00:12:48,844 --> 00:12:50,578 Mom, I want to meet my dad. 381 00:12:55,799 --> 00:12:58,915 It's time Mom, I need to meet him. 382 00:13:00,509 --> 00:13:03,495 Gerald, uh, I've always said if you ever decided 383 00:13:03,495 --> 00:13:05,563 you wanted to meet your father, I would support you. 384 00:13:05,631 --> 00:13:07,432 I know, and I really appreciate... 385 00:13:07,499 --> 00:13:09,167 - I lied. - Oh. 386 00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:11,169 I am extremely against it. 387 00:13:11,236 --> 00:13:14,305 Jimmy Martino is a vapid shell of a man. 388 00:13:14,373 --> 00:13:16,007 Don't get me wrong, it's a stunning shell. 389 00:13:16,075 --> 00:13:17,642 Yeah, God. Good for you, Mom. 390 00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:19,444 Thanks, I know. 391 00:13:19,511 --> 00:13:22,447 But, Gerald, beneath that shell, there's nothing there... 392 00:13:22,514 --> 00:13:25,783 just an abyss of emptiness and self-obsession... 393 00:13:25,851 --> 00:13:27,585 and I just don't want to see you get hurt. 394 00:13:27,653 --> 00:13:29,053 Trust me on this. 395 00:13:33,692 --> 00:13:37,428 I want to walk out dramatically to punctuate this, 396 00:13:37,496 --> 00:13:39,430 but I also want to see the end of the movie, 397 00:13:39,498 --> 00:13:41,766 - so sit, sit, sit, sit. - Yeah. 398 00:13:44,937 --> 00:13:46,104 You all right? 399 00:13:46,171 --> 00:13:47,505 You expecting a call? 400 00:13:47,573 --> 00:13:48,940 Nah, not really. 401 00:13:51,677 --> 00:13:53,611 Um... (clears throat) 402 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:54,979 Excuse me, everybody. 403 00:13:55,047 --> 00:13:57,448 Let's try take two at this toast. 404 00:13:57,516 --> 00:14:00,017 Jimmy, um... 405 00:14:00,085 --> 00:14:01,552 I just wanted to tell you that... 406 00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:03,554 VICTOR: Your br?l?es are burning. 407 00:14:03,622 --> 00:14:05,356 What the...? No! I set an alarm! 408 00:14:05,424 --> 00:14:09,360 Oh, no, I DVR'd a PBS documentary called Alarm. 409 00:14:09,428 --> 00:14:10,561 That looks good. 410 00:14:10,629 --> 00:14:11,896 - They're on fire. - Ugh! 411 00:14:11,964 --> 00:14:13,030 SARA: Okay, uh, right, right. 412 00:14:13,098 --> 00:14:14,899 - I... - Wait for me to come back! 413 00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:16,401 I don't want to miss the speech! 414 00:14:18,771 --> 00:14:19,496 (sighs) 415 00:14:19,521 --> 00:14:21,696 Sorry, I feel like you keep getting interrupted. 416 00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:23,408 - Also, can I borrow a million dollars? - (grunts) 417 00:14:23,475 --> 00:14:24,842 Another Old Fashioned, please? 418 00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:25,843 SERVER: Sure. 419 00:14:25,911 --> 00:14:27,712 Hey, Dad, isn't that good? 420 00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:29,213 We make a mean Old Fashioned, huh? 421 00:14:29,281 --> 00:14:31,549 Yeah. I think I'm gonna take off. 422 00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:32,650 What?! You just got here. 423 00:14:32,718 --> 00:14:33,818 The cake's gonna come out in five minutes. 424 00:14:33,886 --> 00:14:35,653 Yeah, but I'm on Eastern time, 425 00:14:35,721 --> 00:14:38,556 and you have a lot of people here to keep you company. 426 00:14:38,624 --> 00:14:39,657 Come to the hotel tomorrow. 427 00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:41,359 We'll have lunch, catch up. 428 00:14:46,498 --> 00:14:49,267 Is it that hard, Dad? 429 00:14:49,334 --> 00:14:50,768 What? 430 00:14:50,836 --> 00:14:52,770 I opened my restaurant. 431 00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:55,540 It's successful. I'm successful. 432 00:14:55,607 --> 00:14:57,708 Is it that hard to say one nice thing to me? 433 00:14:57,776 --> 00:14:58,943 You're a grown man... am I supposed to hit you 434 00:14:59,011 --> 00:14:59,944 with a bunch of compliments? 435 00:15:00,012 --> 00:15:01,646 No, but one would be nice. 436 00:15:04,249 --> 00:15:05,783 I don't know what to say. 437 00:15:06,985 --> 00:15:09,086 What am I supposed to be proud of? 438 00:15:09,154 --> 00:15:11,756 These celebrities, who hardly know you, 439 00:15:11,824 --> 00:15:13,691 they're here for the free crab cakes? 440 00:15:13,759 --> 00:15:15,760 Or all these women that you sleep with 441 00:15:15,828 --> 00:15:17,695 and never get to know their last names? 442 00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:19,730 Is that what I'm supposed to be proud of? 443 00:15:19,798 --> 00:15:22,133 And that you are a 50-year-old man who has to throw 444 00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:26,137 his own birthday party because no one else will? 445 00:15:26,205 --> 00:15:28,406 You know, I make excuses for you. 446 00:15:28,474 --> 00:15:30,741 Takes you two decades to come visit me, 447 00:15:30,809 --> 00:15:32,710 and you know what I say? I say "he can't travel." 448 00:15:32,778 --> 00:15:33,978 Or "he's busy." 449 00:15:34,046 --> 00:15:35,480 And when you act like a dick, 450 00:15:35,547 --> 00:15:36,747 I say "it's 'cause he's old school." 451 00:15:36,815 --> 00:15:39,217 Yeah, an old-school dick. 452 00:15:40,619 --> 00:15:43,221 - Bye, Jimmy. - Yeah. Good-bye. 453 00:15:43,288 --> 00:15:44,655 Hey, do me a favor. 454 00:15:44,723 --> 00:15:45,890 Don't come back for another 20 years, huh? 455 00:15:45,958 --> 00:15:47,325 Done! 456 00:15:49,127 --> 00:15:51,262 Don't be sad. 457 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:55,333 The father-son dynamic is... complicated. 458 00:16:00,758 --> 00:16:04,128 Que cuando Como y donde 459 00:16:05,363 --> 00:16:06,697 Tu siempre... 460 00:16:06,764 --> 00:16:07,965 Everything okay? 461 00:16:08,032 --> 00:16:10,701 Yeah. 462 00:16:10,768 --> 00:16:12,636 I've been waiting for my dad to call all night. 463 00:16:12,704 --> 00:16:14,138 Mm. 464 00:16:14,205 --> 00:16:16,073 We had a big fight at my birthday last year, 465 00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,307 and we haven't spoken since. 466 00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:18,642 Why didn't you tell me? 467 00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:19,776 Vanity. 468 00:16:19,844 --> 00:16:21,278 I'm not well, Catherine. 469 00:16:21,346 --> 00:16:22,479 You should know that. 470 00:16:22,547 --> 00:16:25,449 Also, I'm 51 today. 471 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:26,750 - Not 50. - What?! 472 00:16:26,818 --> 00:16:27,751 Mm-hmm. 473 00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:30,120 Still get a kick out of me? 474 00:16:30,188 --> 00:16:31,255 Mm... 475 00:16:31,322 --> 00:16:32,656 Yeah, of course I do. 476 00:16:32,724 --> 00:16:34,992 I really do, Jimmy. 477 00:16:35,059 --> 00:16:37,828 In fact, tonight, at this party... 478 00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:41,064 I wanted to celebrate your birthday, of course, but... 479 00:16:41,132 --> 00:16:43,300 I also really wanted to tell you something... 480 00:16:43,368 --> 00:16:44,301 (crashing, clattering) 481 00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:45,068 SARA: Damn it! 482 00:16:47,238 --> 00:16:49,139 - What the hell's going on out here? - SARA: Hey, guys... 483 00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:52,409 So, these didn't turn out exactly as I had hoped. 484 00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:54,978 But I think if you scrape off the burnt top layer 485 00:16:55,046 --> 00:16:57,281 and don't eat the uncooked bottom layer, 486 00:16:57,348 --> 00:16:59,249 that the middle is... decent. 487 00:16:59,317 --> 00:17:00,784 (scoffs) It's okay. 488 00:17:00,852 --> 00:17:02,819 We have plenty of desserts in the fridge. Ravi... 489 00:17:02,887 --> 00:17:04,621 No! No, no, no! It's not about the dessert, 490 00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:06,190 it's about what the dessert represents. 491 00:17:06,257 --> 00:17:07,925 Beneath the caramel shell, 492 00:17:07,992 --> 00:17:09,593 there are lots and lots of layers. 493 00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,094 It was supposed to be a metaphor. 494 00:17:11,162 --> 00:17:12,930 And an apology. 495 00:17:12,997 --> 00:17:14,631 For what? 496 00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:18,268 For telling Gerald not to find you. 497 00:17:19,504 --> 00:17:22,306 I told him that you were empty inside. 498 00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:24,808 And that beneath your shell, there was nothing. 499 00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:26,276 But I was wrong. 500 00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,212 Beneath your shell, you are full of 501 00:17:28,279 --> 00:17:31,348 a surprisingly rich, creamy, 502 00:17:31,416 --> 00:17:34,218 custard, and we're all better for having eaten it. 503 00:17:34,285 --> 00:17:35,819 Oh! This is getting away from me. 504 00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:37,521 (sighs) 505 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:39,690 What I'm trying to say is... 506 00:17:39,757 --> 00:17:41,358 I'm sorry. 507 00:17:41,426 --> 00:17:44,127 I'm sorry I kept the two of you apart for so long. 508 00:17:50,468 --> 00:17:55,239 So... these cr?me br?l?es... are me? 509 00:17:55,306 --> 00:17:57,007 They were supposed to be. 510 00:18:03,314 --> 00:18:04,348 (whispers): Thank you. 511 00:18:04,415 --> 00:18:05,349 (Sara laughs) 512 00:18:11,122 --> 00:18:13,590 I'm gonna... pump the brakes. 513 00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,993 I think this is gonna taste really good, 514 00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:19,563 you know, once, uh... once I cut... 515 00:18:19,631 --> 00:18:20,964 through. 516 00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:25,202 Hey, some Russian model is asking after you? 517 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:28,372 Nastasia or Nastaya or Nastenka? 518 00:18:28,439 --> 00:18:30,040 That doesn't really help... I know a Nastasia, 519 00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:31,275 a Nastaya and a Nastenka. 520 00:18:32,777 --> 00:18:34,444 (groans) 521 00:18:34,512 --> 00:18:36,413 I think my life is empty. 522 00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:38,248 Think my dad's right. 523 00:18:38,316 --> 00:18:41,752 Jimmy... look, it doesn't matter what your dad thinks. 524 00:18:41,819 --> 00:18:43,387 And it doesn't matter what I think. 525 00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:44,921 It only matters what you think. 526 00:18:44,989 --> 00:18:46,290 But why-why don't you just tell me what you think, 527 00:18:46,357 --> 00:18:47,924 to guide what I should think. 528 00:18:47,992 --> 00:18:49,359 I think you should shave that goatee. 529 00:18:49,427 --> 00:18:50,694 Just because you can pull it off, 530 00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:52,129 doesn't mean you should. 531 00:18:54,132 --> 00:18:56,967 (Sufjan Stevens' "Should Have Known Better" intro begins) 532 00:19:04,442 --> 00:19:06,977 Should have known better 533 00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,780 To see what I could see 534 00:19:09,847 --> 00:19:12,316 My black shroud 535 00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:14,785 Holding down my feelings 536 00:19:14,852 --> 00:19:17,120 A pillar for my enemies 537 00:19:17,188 --> 00:19:19,156 538 00:19:22,994 --> 00:19:25,128 I should have wrote a letter 539 00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:28,231 And grieve what I happen to grieve 540 00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:30,600 My black shroud 541 00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:33,236 I never trust my feelings 542 00:19:33,304 --> 00:19:35,539 I waited for the remedy 543 00:19:41,479 --> 00:19:43,580 When I was three 544 00:19:43,648 --> 00:19:46,416 Three, maybe four 545 00:19:46,484 --> 00:19:49,319 She left us at that video store 546 00:19:49,387 --> 00:19:51,588 - Mm-hmm, oh... - Jimmy, try this. 547 00:19:51,656 --> 00:19:54,691 Gluten-free pappardelle. 548 00:19:54,759 --> 00:19:57,527 Mmm. Ravi, delicious. What's the secret? 549 00:19:57,595 --> 00:19:59,596 Gluten. Tons of gluten. 550 00:19:59,664 --> 00:20:01,131 It's basically nothing but gluten. 551 00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:02,933 - Hi. - Hey. Kid, we're closed. 552 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,701 Uh, my name's Gerald. 553 00:20:04,769 --> 00:20:07,037 I have... something pretty important to tell you. 554 00:20:11,609 --> 00:20:13,043 Hey, Dad... 555 00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:14,978 uh, I got something pretty important to tell you. 556 00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:15,979 Oh, yeah? What? 557 00:20:17,281 --> 00:20:19,149 (laughing) 558 00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:20,717 Wanted you to be the first to know 559 00:20:20,785 --> 00:20:22,185 that I'm gonna propose to Vanessa. 560 00:20:22,253 --> 00:20:23,954 - You are? - I love her. 561 00:20:24,021 --> 00:20:26,289 And I know that it's fast and I... 562 00:20:26,357 --> 00:20:27,624 I know you think it's probably... 563 00:20:27,692 --> 00:20:28,792 It doesn't matter what I think. 564 00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,160 It matters what you think. 565 00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:32,462 Can you at least tell me what you think 566 00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:34,264 to sort of guide me on what to think? 567 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,134 - I think it's incredible. - Yeah? 568 00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:38,135 Congratulations. 569 00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:39,669 (phone ringing) 570 00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:41,138 - Oh! My dad! - Oh! Good! 571 00:20:42,473 --> 00:20:43,440 Hey, Dad! 572 00:20:44,642 --> 00:20:46,042 Who's this? 573 00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:47,477 Oh, be my rest 574 00:20:47,545 --> 00:20:49,179 - Be my fantasy... - I see. 575 00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:50,847 Yeah... 576 00:20:50,915 --> 00:20:52,349 I understand. 577 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,650 Oh, be my rest, be my fantasy. 578 00:20:53,718 --> 00:20:55,152 Y-Yeah, yeah. 579 00:20:58,556 --> 00:21:00,190 My dad died. 580 00:21:02,326 --> 00:21:03,326 What? 581 00:21:04,228 --> 00:21:05,395 Hey, guys, great news! 582 00:21:05,463 --> 00:21:07,063 If you chip off the ash, 583 00:21:07,131 --> 00:21:09,332 the cr?me br?l?e's really not half bad. 584 00:21:11,335 --> 00:21:12,502 (laughing): Geez, who died? 585 00:21:18,409 --> 00:21:24,825 Sync and corrections by squallounet www.addic7ed.com 586 00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:29,425 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41115

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