Original subtitles

Viewer beware.

You're in for a scare.

Goosebumps.

Dad, are we lost?

I wanna see Zoo Gardens. You promised.

- Look out!

Lock the doors! Lock the doors!

The kids can, uh, go on a couple of rides while we ask where Zoo Gardens is.

I don't know. What could happen? It's an amusement park.

Stay off the guillotine ride. Sharp turns.

Get out while you still can!

Lizzy, I'm lost!

- Hello?

- Get me out of here!

"No exit. No one leaves Horrorland alive"?

We want you to stay.

Now, you... you listen to me. Now, we have a right to leave whenever we want.

Now you take off that stupid mask and talk to me man-to-man.

It's, uh, not a mask.

Oh!

Let's get them!

- Oh, they're behind us! - Monsters!

- There they are!

- Help! No, run there! ...

- Get them! - This way!

Come on! Hurry up! Let's go! Let's go!

Who's there? I said, who's there?

Let's hear it for the Morris family, everybody!

Let's put 'em together for the Morrises!

Ah, come on down, folks. Watch your step!

The Morrises!

What is this?

- Isn't she terrific?

What do you want from us? What do we want from you? We want to say thank you.

Just a minute. What do you mean, "thank you"?

We wanna thank you for being our guests today on...

- Horrorland Hidden Camera!

That's right... Horrorland Hidden Camera,

the Monster Channel's favorite television program.

The Monster Channel?

Just stay calm. Oh, and we know how well you do that.

Here are some clips of the Morris family...

"staying calm."

Let's watch them in super slo-mo.

Put your claws together for the Morrises, folks, huh?

They're good sports. Yeah!

Whoa! They love you guys.

Well, that's all the time we have for today.

So, for all of us here at Horrorland Hidden Camera,

Bye-bye!

- That's a wrap.

Hey, you guys were terrific. Listen, we have another show coming up...

a game show... and you're gonna be the contestants.

We just wanna go home. Yeah.

- You can't go home. - What do you mean, we can't go home?

You can't go home. Because if you do, you won't get that new car!

What new car? Who said anything about a new car?

It's the grand prize... on the game show.

- I don't get it. - I understand. You're confused.

First you find out monsters really do exist,

and then you find out we have our own cable channel.

It's a shock. Well, I guess we'll just have to give that car to some other family.

No, no, no. No, wait. Just, uh...

I don't think it would hurt to just play the game.

- Mmm. - What kind of a car is it?

- A brand-new sports utility vehicle. - Dad...

Shh-shh-shh. We all sure could have loads of fun...

with a brand-new sports utility vehicle. Yeah.

Good! That's what I thought.

Oh, Sludge. Yeah, Retch?

Show the Morrises to makeup, will you? Uh-huh. Walk this way.

Oop! Pardon me.

La-da, dee-dee, la... Huh?

Oh!

Ooh! Oh, my dear.

Oh! Oh, my heavens! Oh!

Oh, my stars! Oh, my word.

Well, there's not much I can do with them, is there, hmm? Uh-huh.

- Oh, well, they call me the "miracle worker." - Yep. Yep.

All right. Come along. Sit down. Sit, sit-sit-sit-sit. Don't lollygag now.

We haven't got all day. Right, there we are.

All right. We have some, uh, lovely snacks here, if you'd care to partake. There we are.

Some eye of Doyle? Ear of Holyfield? Booger surprise?

- No thanks. - No? Suit yourself.

La-da, dee-dee, dee-dee Boop!

- Da, da-da, da-da - You're not gonna hurt us, are you?

Darling, we're monsters, but we're not monsters.

Oh. Boop!

And they've got cable. This way. Boop!

- Wow. Real monsters, and they're nice. - One more. Boop!

Right! Off we go then. Time to go. Come along.

Mustn't keep Director waiting. Good luck, everyone.

There you are. Bye now. Bye.

Come along. Here we are. Man, wait till everyone hears about this at home.

Yeah, they'll never believe us. I hope it has air-conditioning.

Oh, gosh, they said it was sporty. I am so nervous!

He-He-He-He-Hey! You folks look fabulous. Now, nothing to be nervous about.

Just smile and play the game. What is the game?

It's the Monster Channel's favorite game show, Raw Deal!

Now, here's your host... Hey, thank you! Thank you!

Welcome to Raw Deal. Raw Deal?

Welcome to Raw Deal, everybody!

Let's say hello to our very special...

Holly Tosis!

Hey, tonight on Raw Deal,

it is the Morrises versus the Morrises!

No, this way. Hey.

And of course, they'll be competing for a brand-new sports utility vehicle.

Hey, if it's the Morrises versus the Morrises, how can we lose?

- M-Mom... - How... How can we lose, dear?

Hmm? Huh?

Now, before we play Raw Deal, let's meet today's humans.

Carl Morris, his lovely wife, Peggy,

and their two fabulous kids, Lizzy and Luke.

- Carl, what kind of work do you do? - Well, Retch, I'm...

Fabulous. And, Peggy, are you excited to be here on Raw Deal?

We are, Retch. Yes. Yes, we really are.

He-He-Hey, so am I.

Okay, let's play the game. Holly?

Coming, Retchie.

Now, each of these cards represents a dollar value.

You will pick a card. The object of the game is to guess a letter.

Now, if the letter guessed appears on our puzzle board back here...

you will win the amount of money on the card you picked and a chance to solve the puzzle.

- I don't get it. - Doesn't matter. Nobody does.

Now, today's puzzle is a phrase, and the Morris parents will go first.

- Come on down, gang.

All right, Morris parents, go ahead and pick a card.

Um...

Ah. Okay.

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

You're playing for $200!

- Oh! - $200. That's really great.

All right, Morrises. Go ahead now and guess a letter.

Let's have an "M," Retch. Yeah.

- Do we have an "M"? - We have an "M"!

There ya go! All right, two "M's"!

All right, Morrises, you're now playing for $400.

Take another guess. Could we have an "F," please, Retch?

Is there an "F"?

There is an "F"! Okay!

You now have $600. Take another guess.

But you're doing so well, dear. Let's have an "E," Retch.

Is there an "E"? There is an "E"!

- Let's take an "I." - One,

two,

three "I's"!

Yeah! Way to go, Dad.

Thanks, Son. Thanks. All right, Morrises.

You now have $1,400.

Anyone care to take a guess and solve the puzzle...

to win that fabulous sport utility vehicle?

- We'll take a "P." - No "P."

Oh, there are no "P's."

Now, before the Morris kids get their turn, let's watch this important message.

Now, for the first time on CD,

Greatest Monster Love Songs.

You'll get "Your Heart Is In My Pocket and Your Lips Are In My Drawer."

And get in the mood with "Wart to Wart."

And who can forget "I Want to Hold Your Claws"?

This is a limited, one-time offer. Fifty monster love hits.

And if you order now, you'll get "My Flesh Is Crawling Over to You"...

and so much more.

Fifty monster love hits. Just call...

1-700-MONSTER.

Welcome back to Raw Deal. Now, while we were away, the Morris kids took their turn,

and now the puzzle board looks like this.

"The Morris family... lucky." "Lucky"! That's it. Go "lucky."

I know! I know!

- Ready to solve the puzzle? - Yes. We say the answer is "The Morris family is lucky."

Oh, I'm sorry! That's wrong, and you're out of the game.

But you won't go away empty-handed.

What do we have for the Morris kids?

For appearing on today's Raw Deal, the Morris kids get...

a bucket of worms!

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Hey, don't do that.

And now, Mr. and Mrs. Morris,

are you ready to try and solve the puzzle for a chance to win...

- that fabulous sports utility vehicle?

Ugh! Honey, the car.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, kids. Kids, just... just have a sense of humor.

It's only worms, after all.

- Remember... the car. - Are you ready?

- Wait! Wait. - Mmm?

- I think I can solve this puzzle, Retch. - Mmm!

"The Morris family is lunch"?

Dun, dun, dun You're right!

We won! We won! We won!

Lunch? Lunch? Hey...

Wait a minute. What do... What do you mean by "lunch"?

The Morris family will find out exactly what we mean...

when we return to Raw Deal right after this.

- Welcome back. - And now we'll find out...

if the Morris family are ready to cut the deck...

for a chance to win that brand-new, fully loaded...

sport utility vehicle of their dream.

Ready? Yes, but... but what did you mean

That's why we call it a puzzle.

We'll be back to see if the Morrises drive away...

in a brand-spankin'-new car...

after these important messages.

Hey, monster kids, now you can have hours of fun...

with your very own human figures.

Scare them. Smash them. Eat them.

They're your own humans. You get Dad, Mom, Brother and Sis.

Put them in water, throw them in the air or just jump up and down on them.

Human action figures! Grandma sold separately.

We're back! Are we ever!

And a big monster hello to Danielle...

out in Kalamazoo, Michigan!

All right, Morrises, are you ready to cut the deck?

- Are you ready to cut one? I love that joke.

Well, yes... yes, we are, Retch.

Well, then go ahead and cut the deck!

We got the car!

Well, not quite yet.

You've won a chance to win a new car,

but not before you take the...

Horrorland challenge!

- Come on, everybody!

And now, dear Morris Family,

you will be given the chance of opening one...

of two-oo-oo doors.

- Wow! Ta-da! - Behind one door...

is that fabulous...

- sports utility vehicle. - - Ahh! Ohh!

And behind the other door...

is Ripper, the killer beast.

You have 10 seconds to choose. Ripper?

The clock is running.

Ten, nine... Um, uh, door number one.

- No, door number two. - Eight! Seven!

- I-I think it's one. - Five!

No, three! There is no three.

- Three! Two! - One!

One it is! Now, there you are.

You have chosen door number one.

So, say hello...

to Ripper!

I thought they were nice monsters. We all did, Mom.

Look at this. Oh, Ripper doesn't leave much, does he?

Whatever happens, we'll face this together.

Like a family. Yeah, like a family-size dinner.

- I'm scared. - It's getting ready to pounce.

- Hey! - Quick, though here!

Hurry! Inside, quick! This way! Come on, Come on!

- Hurry! - Go, go, go!

- Now, come on. Hurry! - Hurry, hurry! Okay, now listen.

You have to listen to me and do what I say. I want to help you.

- Who are you? - - My name is Blek.

And I should have been the host of Raw Deal. Retch Sniff. Ptooey! What a no-talent.

Listen to this. Heh!

Welcome back to Raw Deal!

You see? I'm great. Yeah, uh... Yeah.

But I'm not the producer's brother-in-law. You know how that works.

- Well, you... you should have been. - Yeah.

But w-we just wanna get out of here.

- Straight through there. That way! - Oh.

- Hurry!

- There they are! - Get them!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Over here!

Which way? Shh!

Quickly. This way. Go!

Through here.

That way.

That thing almost stepped on me. Yeah, we were lucky.

This never'd have happened at Zoo Gardens.

Yeah, well we should have gone to Zoo Gardens.

Maybe if we keep going, we'll find our way out?

Maybe we'll never get out. Yes, we will. Yes, we will. Let's just keep going.

- Look. - Oh, my.

Looks like we're not the first family to appear on Raw Deal.

Hey, over there!

I have a side ache.

Keep going, Luke. Keep going.

Dad! Dad, I can see the parking lot!

Oh! Let's go! Let's go!

Oh, oh, oh! Quick, though here!

Oh, great! That's it, Lizzy. Come on.

Luke, hurry up. There we go. Okay. Come on.

Dad, look out!

- Hurry up, Dad! - I'm hurrying!

- Ah! - Oh, for heaven's sake!

Hurry up, Dad!

Hurry up, Dad!

- Oh, no!

- If we had that new car, this wouldn't be happening. - Don't you think I know that?

I love this car!

So long, suckers!

We made it. Yeah.

I am never setting foot in a theme park again.

Or a TV studio.

- Hey, Dad, where are you going? - I don't know.

- I don't think this is the time to be clowning around. - I am not clowning around!

Something wrong with the steering.

There sure is, because you're not steering it.

I am.

Whoa! Now that's what I call a cliff-hanger.

Will the Morris family ever get out of Horrorland?

Tune in next week to the Monster Channel.

I am sick of these scary human shows.

Well, perhaps we should just talk.

That's a good idea.

- Ooh! - Mmm.

Cockroach? Oh, thank you, darling.

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