Original subtitles

- Cracker. - Yes.

Pickle dill.

Good. And?

Cottage cheese low fat small curd a touch of fuzz.

Uch of fuzz.

Expiration date?

Three weeks ago.

- Amazing. - Yes!

What's going on?

We're playing "guess that snack."

And next year you can vote.

Hey listen p.J. I ran into a friend of mine today.

He's opening up a new chicken restaurant

And he needs a delivery guy.

Dad you already have a Job.

I'm talking about you.

Oh thanks but I'm already booked solid

Between the school the band our snacking competitions.

I can't do it all. I'm just one guy.

One guy who delivers chicken. Here's the number.

Hey emmett if you want I might be able to get you a Job too.

Oh no thanks mr. D. I already got a Job.

- Doing what? - My dad pays me to stay out of the house.

Working right now.

Sync by Hana.Bean www.Addic7ed.Com

Hey charlie I want to show you something pretty adorable.

You and mommy are doing yoga together.

Okay charlie this next move

Is called the warrior.

Charlie.

Mom lis to blame her farts on other people

But love her anyway.

Uh excuse me mom doesn't fart no.

She toots.

That was quite a toot you just cut.

Hey honey how was school?

Good.

Why are you wearing your hat like that?

Oh no reason. It's how I roll.

Oh my gosh gabe what happened?

Charlie and I were playing pattycake

And things went bad.

Who did this to you?

This new kid in my class... Jo something.

Poor thing. Why do the big kids always pick on the little kids?

Isn't that the ice pack dad puts on his butt?

Eww.

Actually I think it's that one.

Eww.

What about broccoli? Dad hates broccoli.

Which is why he'd use it on his...

Eww!

Oh no.

Is dad's butt acting up again?

- Who is it? - Kwikki chikki

Where everpiece of chicken is grilled with love.

Hi.

Hello?

Uh here you go.

Thanks.

Keep the change.

EnJoy your kwikki chikki.

I think I was just grilled with love.

Would you mind answering a few questions

For a customer satisfaction survey?

Okay.

Did you find kwikki chikki service

To be good really good or super good?

Really good.

If a good-looking kwikki chikki delivery dude asked you on a date

Would his chances be good really good or super good?

Could you take off that cap for a second?

Super good.

Freeze.

Back it up and bring it here.

Oh gabe again?

Yes again.

Well did you at least hit him back this time?

I can't do that.

Why not? You gotta take this bully down

Give him a taste of his own medicine.

That's the only way to get him to stop.

Just let me handle it.

All right. Well you know what?

If you won't do it then I will.

I will school this kid teddy-style.

Whoo!

Whoa I need a manicure.

Hey p.J. emmett's called a few times.

Yeah I'll call him later. Oh dad I forgot to tell you

My girlfriend... I love saying that...

She told me something interesting.

She's your girlfriend already? You've had one date.

One amazing date.

One awesome magical fun...

What did she say?

- Who? - Your girlfriend.

I love it when you say it too.

She said her mom and you know each other.

Her name used to be katherine davis.

Katherine davis?

Um...

That's not ringing a bell.

Boy I'd sure like to see your reaction

When someone does ring a bell.

Who is she?

She's the last girl I dated before you.

I'm dating your old girlfriend's daughter?

I hope that's not gonna be a problem for me.

Seems like it might be for me.

I'd like to hear more about her bob.

Oh look did I date a lot of girls before you?

Yes sure.

Did I leave a trail of broken hearts?

Absolutely.

But you know what? It was all worth it

Because I saved the best for last.

Oh.

Me too.

And I can't wait to meet him.

Eh.

You did not just send me to voicemail.

Sorry.

I'm expecting a call from my girlfriend.

You've been dodging my calls all day.

Hey good news emmett. We just put in a doorbell.

- What were you calling about? - To see if you wanted to hang out.

Wish I could but I'm kind of busy right now.

Hey girlfriend.

No I'm not doing anything right now.

Yeah of course I can come over.

You want to hang out mr. D?

We could play "guess that snack."

I brought my blindfold.

What are you doing here?

- Brought you lunch. - I already have my lunch.

Well give this to the nerdy kid who does your homework... yay!

- Hey gabe. - Hi Jo.

Where do you think you're going?

That's Jo?

Gotta go.

You're the kid who's been pounding my brother?

But you're a girl.

Yes and that's a chair. And that's a book.

Are we done now?

Have a seat Jo. You and me are gonna have a little talk.

Okay.

Jo I'm here because I'm not happy.

And do you know why I'm not happy?

No but I bet you're gonna tell me.

Oh yes. I'm not happy

Because you've been bullying my brother.

He's a boy so he can't hit back.

But I'm not a boy.

You don't scare me.

Really? Well

Do I scare you now?

No.

Fair enough.

How about now?

I can do that with pens.

Okay I want you to leave my brother alone

Or the next thing that gets snapped will be you.

Now get out of my face.

Does gabe ever talk about me?

Ever since you gave him that fat lip

He's had trouble talking about anyone.

Does he have a girlfriend?

No and why would you...?

Wait a minute. Do you like gabe?

Eww that's disgusting.

Okay maybe a little.

Oh so I had a chat with your little friend Jo.

- Did she punch you? - No.

- Kick you? - No.

Okay well get this... turns out she has a crush on you.

She does? Why does she keep hitting me?

Well she has trouble expressing her feelings

And then she gets frustrated and lashes out.

So I get punched for being a hunk?

Yep that's it.

She really said she likes me?

Whoa wait do you like her too?

Eww that's just disgusting.

Okay maybe a little.

- Hi mr. Duncan. - Hi madison.

- P.J.'s downstairs. - Thanks.

- Bobby. - Kitty-kat.

- Look at you. - Look at you.

Look at me.

Hey honey. I'd like you to meet kitty... katherine.

I'm madison's mom.

Hi I'm amy p.J.'s mom

And bob's first wife.

Can you believe our kids are dating each other?

That's a crazy twist isn't it?

Whoo!

Well I've got to run. It was so nice to meet you

And so great to see you again bobby.

Yeah. Okay.

Kitty-kat huh?

Well I could come up with a nickname for you.

Like...

You know it's really funny

'cause I'm thinking of a lot of nicknames for you.

- Hi boyfriend. - Hi girlfriend.

Hi emmett.

Girlfriend.

You guys are rehearsing. Should I come back later?

- Yes. - No.

No we're just finishing up.

- Aren't we? - We started five minutes ago.

It was a good five minutes.

I feel like I'm intruding.

- No you're not. - Yes you are.

I'll be upstairs.

Okay one two one two three four...

- No emmett stop. - What?

I don't like the way you were talking to my girlfriend.

I don't like the way she's interrupting our rehearsal.

She has no respect for the process.

We don't have a process.

- She doesn't know that. - Everyone knows that.

What's more important to you... your girlfriend or this band?

This band was just a way to get girls

Which I did.

Fine.

Then this band is through.

I'll take my drums and get out of your life.

Someone will be by to collect my things.

Hey what are you doing out here?

Just thinking.

P.J. And the vibe broke up today.

Oh well son it's hard to keep a band together.

And you guys did have some challenges

Most of them musical.

We'd still be together if emmett wasn't jealous of my girlfriend.

Son you've been spending an awful lot of time with madison.

Now did you ever consider that maybe emmett feels rejected?

By my girlfriend?

By you.

Because I have a girlfriend.

Because you've been ignoring him.

Because of my girlfriend.

P.J. I'm ready to break up with you.

Son you can't let a girl

Come between you and your best friend.

But madison's softer

And smells better than emmett.

Look trust me on this okay?

I nearly made the same mistake

When I was dating madison's mom.

Really? What happened?

Katherine was too clingy

Too demanding.

She came between me and my friends

So I did what I had to do...

Let her go

Said goodbye

No more bobby love for her.

Bobby love? That's what she called you?

Oh you know it.

Um that one we don't need to share with your mom.

This is weird. I don't usually get invited

To play dates with the kids I beat up.

About that... I talked to gabe

And turns out he kinds of likes you too.

He does?

Why are you clenching your fist?

I feel like punching someone.

Okay well we need to work on how you express yourself with boys.

Why don't we try a little role-playing okay?

- I'll be gabe. You'll be you. - Okay.

So let's pretend we run into each other at school.

- Hi Jo. - Hi gabe.

I like your jacket.

Well somebody knows karate.

Sorry. It was a reflex.

- Let me try again. - Okay but this time

Let's keep our hands to ourselves okay?

Got it.

Okay. Hi Jo.

Hi gabe.

Want to sit with me at lunch?

Yah!

I see you found a loophole.

You didn't say anything about the feet.

And now you've learned the word "loophole."

Now try this time

With no hands and no feet

Or anything else you could hit me with.

Got it.

Hi Jo. You look nice.

Very good Jo.

You clenched your fist and then you unclenched.

That is called progress.

Feels weird without hitting

But I kind of like it.

What is she doing here?

No no it's okay. You have nothing to worry about.

- Right Jo? - Right.

Hey gabe. You look nice.

What?

She gave you a compliment. Say something nice back.

Uh...

Your hair looks softer than your fists?

Thanks.

Why don't you two hang out for a while?

I'll be upstairs trying to decide

If I should apply ice or heat.

So what do you like to do?

I like monster trucks

Mixed martial arts and dolls.

- You like video games? - What do you got?

- "galaxy of death." - Is it violent?

Level two comes with the barf bags.

It's really fun.

You had me at barf bag.

Hey what are you doing here?

I'm between deliveries

But I really wanted to say something to you.

First I'm like totally psyched that you're my girlfriend.

Great. Anything else?

Well yeah. I was just thinking

That we should be spending a little less time together

You know so we still have time for friends.

Works for me.

Not starting right now. Madison what's going on?

- Nothing. - Gotta get to work babe.

- Who's that? - Nobody.

See you later babe.

Nice hat.

Thanks.

You too.

Who was that?

Just the pizza delivery guy.

Really? Don't they usually deliver pizzas

To your house not from your house?

I don't...

And don't they usually not kiss the customers

And call them "babe"?

You were cheating on me with pizza pirate.

No actually I was cheating on pizza pirate

With kwikki chikki.

That's it. We're through.

Are you breaking up with me?

Unless you promise never to see him again.

Yeah we should probably break up.

He gave me a whole bunch of coupons.

Get off me! Help! Ow!

Jo what are you doing?

This is not the way to express yourself.

This is not about me liking gabe.

This is about him cheating at "galaxy of death."

I didn't cheat.

Get this whacko off me!

Come on Jo get off him.

Let go. Let go.

Whoa!

You want some of this?

Hey charlie.

Well today was a bad day for the duncan kids.

We learned that sometimes love hurts.

No kidding. Jo dislocated my shoulder.

Madison dislocated my heart.

Well maybe love gets easier as we get older.

Honey it's no kitty-kat but at least it's a nickname.

Amy-potomus?

Well when you say it like that...

Or maybe love never gets easier.

Then again you might be the one to figure that out.

Good luck with that charlie.

- Hi. - Heard about your breakup.

Who told you?

I saw you change your online status

From "in a relationship" to "dumped."

Bring it here.

It hurts so much.

I know. Emmett's here.

Let it out.

And ignore my last voicemail.

- What? - No no no no.

Hey gabe. Nice backpack.

What do you want Jo?

I think I was pretty clear. I want your backpack.

No.

I'm sorry did you just say no?

You heard me.

You're not bullying me anymore.

What you're gonna sic your sister on me again?

I'm not afraid of her.

I have more than one sister.

And that's after only one karate lesson.

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